what a feeling

I'm Jen. I have no idea what's going on.

[guerrillatech]

[orions-sour-belts]

Famous womanizer Ilya Rozanov this, Rake Ilya Rozanov That. Shane turned him into a housewife blah blah blah.

LOOK AT ME IN MY EYES. HE DID THAT TO HIMSELF

Sometimes you do teenage rebellion a little too hard and then you meet a nice normal person and wanna get domesticated. That is quite literally what we watch happen. Ilya parties and drinks and smokes and fucks because he's running from his problems. Enter boring, stable, affectionate Shane Hollander. And suddenly Ilya is secure enough to realise that he doesn't need that lifestyle to be happy, what he always needed was unconditional love and he has it.

[impossibleknots]

[feelsforsterek]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈 save a horse, ride a cowboy.

[alloutshirt]

seeing so many people who haven’t been here for a while . we’re all family and will always be . what we got to experience is rare and precious . hope time will allow us to look back at it with joy and peace again . hugging all of you tight

[pop-punklouis]

not to be too sappy but idek what i would’ve done if i didn’t have a space to talk openly about all of this with those who truly understand it. it’s one thing to talk to distant friends or family members about this passing, but it’s another to talk with a community who just understands without any explanation or judgement. we’re all just wading around this fandom with each other— those names i haven’t seen pop up in ages— trying to process whatever we’re trying to process and giving virtual hugs and sending love and making edits and posting encouraging words. fandom is so powerful. community is so powerful. i hope i never ever forget that. because it’s always been here for me in ways that no one else besides those who are here or been here understands.

just fortunate for all of you. no one gets this place like y’all get this place. and that’s special.

[killuabb]

if we could only have this life for one more day if we could only turn back time

[likesboys-deactivated20160803]

[didhewinkback]

one direction will always be so so so bittersweet to me like they were such a foundation of my teenage years while at the same time those boys were spending most of their days trapped in hotel rooms or waking up at 2 am to record an album and non stop touring and working so much more than anyone let alone a bunch of teenage boys should work and its always been hard to reconcile those two realities especially on a day like today because god when they were good together, they were so good together.

and i just don't think anything like them will ever happen again. 5 boys from basically working class backgrounds thrust into a level of fame the height of which hadn't been seen for decades, all of them becoming the breadwinners of their families before the age of 18. the immense pressure but also the amount of fun they were. the tragedy and joy of it all intertwined. really impossible to put into words

[mutualslovelouis]

i did not once ever have a full night’s sleep from 2013-2015. nothing new to say that hasn’t already been said but it was so fucking fun being a one direction fan while they were still releasing albums/touring. can’t even put it into words or describe it. u were constantly terrorized while also having the best time of ur life.

[onedirectionforever]

who was i before one direction

[deklo]

i drew some stiles :3c and honestly i’ll probably draw more >:3c

[dinosaursmate]

to my friends who I am still in contact with, those who I lost contact with, those who were still around and those who, like me, have emerged from the woodwork due to tragedy - I love you I see you I’m thinking of you

[extrahary]

The death of someone so important to me as a child, a teen, even today, even though I never met him. I saw him in concert twice with his four best friends. I had a doll in his likeness that I never removed from the box. I always wanted the best for him despite how he chose to move on and away from the band. My heart is shattered and shocked yet I cannot seem to cry. I spent 5+ years, my entire time in high school, obsessed with this person and his friends. I spent so much of my free time focused on this person who is suddenly gone. I never outgrew it. I never moved on, I just grew up and couldn’t focus as much attention on it. I felt at one with the band as they went their separate ways and followed different paths, I did as well. It felt okay. It no longer feels okay. It feels so deeply wrong in ways I can’t even begin to describe. This isn’t the death of my closest family members or friends, it’s someone I didn’t even know. Yet they basically held the better part of my attention a young adult. They helped shape me into the person I am today. They’re gone and my heart is broken but I’m an adult and death is not easily felt anymore. The grief comes in waves. Maybe I will cry next week. Maybe I will hear his voice in a song on shuffle and lose my shit then. I would have called out of school for real if I heard this news 10 years ago. People would be seriously asking if I was okay. They would also probably laugh, but they would still ask. Nobody is asking if I’m okay. I’m informing the most important people in my life about this news and the reaction is so minimal it’s cringeworthy. Who I used to be is screaming crying shaking hyperventilating alone in the corner of her room inside my soul while I stare stone faced at my phone in the silence. What.

[meyhew]

i have no idea how to process this. it’s not unfathomable and it’s something i’ve thought about many times but i don’t actually know how to process it. what do you mean he was such an integral part of me growing up and he did some fucked up things in part bc of the fucked up environment he grew up in and now he’s DEAD and can’t do anything to try and make amends. what do u mean the boys now means harry louis liam niall zayn. what do you mean he left behind a child less than 10 years old. what the fuck do you mean

[femstyles]

Those 5 boys and the community around them held such a strong role in shaping me and knowing one of them is just... no more... I can't explain this feeling.

[mr-styles]

One Direction’s first and last performances as a five piece. (2010 - 2015)

[hugh-dancy-archived]