cauldron employee #13

What if they Simurgh looked like a fucked up winged man instead? Hero, specifically. Eidolon torment nexus?

I think you’eve somehow managed to theorycraft a way of making eido more miserable than in canon. Fucked up.

@eyedoeluhn thoughts?

well first off wildbow would be canceled tor even more homophobia

aslovefromlies

"Oh.... Brian." CW: Body horror below the break.

#THE CUTE TYE CUTEEE #Wormblr #beloved art

Practicing low Fps animation. been a while but yeah. Have a harbinger. Does it make more sense at a 45 degree angle buddy?

Eidolon is sexy and I'm tired of pretending that he isn't

Eidolon's premiere feet poster speaks out against unfuckable allegations.

#Wormblr #Glances around this isnt a safe location...theyre watching...

Talking about cauldron is so funny because people will constantly try to argue about events that happen in the book not happening or invent new events. Like you can't just say "Taylor actually talked Blasto off screen and got a second Atlas", like that just straight up didn't happen but then you'll have a scene where they say something didn't happen twice and Wildbow says that something didn't happen another three times and then "it mightve". Its incredible

#Wormblr #Do you guys know what books are and how sentences work and other such things #Thats not how interpreting events work?#You cannot just say well I think coil was a high level cauldronite #Thats just. Not real #Im sorry cauldron discourse forces you to make uncomfortable statements about your ideals and morality but you cannot just hallucinate

I couldn't ever laugh along with the armsmaster brand underwear jokes because I too would buy anything with armsmaster on it

#Wormblr #Parahumans #PLEASE WILDBOW PLEASE LET ME GIVE YOU MY BONE MARROW

estavionpira

Do u think Eidolon Worm had a power to summon a delicious cheeseburger to his side at any moment?

Its the most American power i can think of.

Borgar 10, the deadliest rating a cape could have

He used it 4 days after getting powers thinking he was just acquiring a tasty treat. Little did he know... On his 5th day, he found a child who was going to die... unless they had a delicious cheeseburger. And Eidolon? David Eidolon? The strongest man alive Eidolon? Because he had already used the power, he could not procure a single cheeseburger for this child. And that child? Died.

Since then, David "The Strongest Man Alive" Eidolon has sworn off using his powers to better himself. He worries that out there, there may be a poor soul who will die if they do not get six pack abs. And that, my friend... Is why the abs are fake. Because Eidolon... Is a REAL hero.

#This is real and true and why david eidolon has never tasted the sweet nectar of a sprite no ice

what do you think would happen if i threw a baseball-sized rock at eidolon but my aim sucks so it misses by about 7 feet and takes out a potted plant instead

he'd feel really sad about the potted plant he put there 3 months ago to brighten up the room (its a cactus) (he wouldnt replace it) ('I dont deserve a bedframe' ass)

#Now the whole energy of the room is off 💔

fucking david will make his powers return. spread the word

Ive got another thing he can drain wink wi(blood splatters onto my phone as my spine is violently compressed into a perfect sphere)

OH SO WHO'S THE GUY WHO'S UPPITY. HUH. HUH.

your honor i claim satire

your honour i claim eidofucker

silence in the court. I decree that eidolon shall be split down the middle and you can both fuck him

The sexuation becomes more questionable less to do with the splitting in half and more to do with eidolon's monogamous marriage complex

I don't want to fuck eidolon :[ he'd be bad at it

can we still cut him in half i want to see how that would go

OK which half do you want

Left. but also can I some of Alex's piece pretty please. Surely he could spare an arm.

HEY. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO SHARE EQUALLY

You dont even want to restore his powers. A true eidolon fan would do anything for the greater good

Yet you claim you’re not an eidofucker

i dont see how these statements are related at all

#Shadowboxing

fucking david will make his powers return. spread the word

Ive got another thing he can drain wink wi(blood splatters onto my phone as my spine is violently compressed into a perfect sphere)

OH SO WHO'S THE GUY WHO'S UPPITY. HUH. HUH.

your honor i claim satire

your honour i claim eidofucker

silence in the court. I decree that eidolon shall be split down the middle and you can both fuck him

The sexuation becomes more questionable less to do with the splitting in half and more to do with eidolon's monogamous marriage complex

I don't want to fuck eidolon :[ he'd be bad at it

can we still cut him in half i want to see how that would go

OK which half do you want

Left. but also can I some of Alex's piece pretty please. Surely he could spare an arm.

HEY. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO SHARE EQUALLY

tranz-regent

can i hve hiz teeth

#Im putting it in my teeth collection. Now I have TWO other peoples teeth other than mine ^_^

I get to keep his molars

fucking david will make his powers return. spread the word

Ive got another thing he can drain wink wi(blood splatters onto my phone as my spine is violently compressed into a perfect sphere)

OH SO WHO'S THE GUY WHO'S UPPITY. HUH. HUH.

your honor i claim satire

your honour i claim eidofucker

silence in the court. I decree that eidolon shall be split down the middle and you can both fuck him

The sexuation becomes more questionable less to do with the splitting in half and more to do with eidolon's monogamous marriage complex

I don't want to fuck eidolon :[ he'd be bad at it

can we still cut him in half i want to see how that would go

OK which half do you want

Left. but also can I some of Alex's piece pretty please. Surely he could spare an arm.

HEY. WE’RE SUPPOSED TO SHARE EQUALLY

You dont even want to restore his powers. A true eidolon fan would do anything for the greater good

fucking david will make his powers return. spread the word

Ive got another thing he can drain wink wi(blood splatters onto my phone as my spine is violently compressed into a perfect sphere)

OH SO WHO'S THE GUY WHO'S UPPITY. HUH. HUH.

your honor i claim satire

your honour i claim eidofucker

silence in the court. I decree that eidolon shall be split down the middle and you can both fuck him

The sexuation becomes more questionable less to do with the splitting in half and more to do with eidolon's monogamous marriage complex

I don't want to fuck eidolon :[ he'd be bad at it

can we still cut him in half i want to see how that would go

OK which half do you want

#Pleadingly lifts plate #If its horizontal the top half for normal reasons. Even normaler than the bottom

Left. but also can I some of Alex's piece pretty please. Surely he could spare an arm.

fucking david will make his powers return. spread the word

Ive got another thing he can drain wink wi(blood splatters onto my phone as my spine is violently compressed into a perfect sphere)

OH SO WHO'S THE GUY WHO'S UPPITY. HUH. HUH.

your honor i claim satire

your honour i claim eidofucker

silence in the court. I decree that eidolon shall be split down the middle and you can both fuck him

The sexuation becomes more questionable less to do with the splitting in half and more to do with eidolon's monogamous marriage complex

I don't want to fuck eidolon :[ he'd be bad at it

can we still cut him in half i want to see how that would go

#In a normal way