Summary: fic loosely based on song “Free love” by Depeche Mode. I’ve heard this song on radio and idea popped in my head
Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x reader
Warnings: SMUT, oral sex (f&m receiving), fingernig, unprotected sex, language, slight angst
Notes: It’s late night and I’m tired af but hope you’ll all enjoy it and again I’m not native english speaker so if you’ll see mistakes please tell me about it. Feedback is more than welcome.
You were panting heavily. Legs spread as Bucky’s face lifted from between them. His face glistering from your arousal as he smirked at you. He wasn’t naked like you, he still had his pants on, his shirt unbuttoned but it was still settled on his shoulders. In fact only thing you had on yourself was a golden necklace with tiny “D” letter. You turned on your tummy and buried your face in pillow.
“Oh God… Buck, you wore my out…” your voice was muffed by the pillow. He chuckled at your statement, hovering above you he placed your hair on one side of your neck and kissed you on the other side as he whispered “I’m not finished with you” his shirt was tickling your back as he straightened and settled on his knees. Bucky caressed your back with his hands and you shivered at his action.
“Come on Y/N. It’s your birthday next week. Where do you want me?” as he asked as his hands traveled south to your bum and he squeezed it making you moan.
“My God. I’m almost 24. You were 24 when we met and now look at you. Hot, single CEO of a big company. They say life starts after you turn 30. Is that true?” you asked looking at him over your shoulder and you smiled seeing him so absorbed with massaging your thighs
“I don’t know. My birthday was only month ago”
You knew that and you smirked at the thought. You remember how you almost passed out from his actions. He was keeping you on the edge, not allowing to cum almost all night. When he finally let you, your orgasm hit you like a train. No. It hit you like a train dragging a ship after it. You spent all night with Bucky, him fucking you. And for the week that followed his birthday you were sore, and you couldn’t even sit straight.
His birthday was the last time you saw him until now when he waited for you outside your work then he brought you to this hotel. You’ve never actually met in your privet flats. No strings attached. And you were cool with it.
“Will you come to my birthday?” you asked and he turned you back on your back. “That depends”
“On what?” you asked surprised “On that if you’ll be a good girl tonight” he said and he kissed the valley between your breasts.
“That’s not fair. It’s my birthday next week not yours” you said and you made your famous grumpy face. He laughed and he started to tease your left nipple, you arched your back at the feeling and to give him opportunity to wrap his arms around your back.
He lifted you to his thighs not stopping to play with your nipple with his lips. He left it and his mouths traveled to your neck.
“So where do you want me birthday girl?” he asked sucking and licking on your neck. You gasped and you blurted out “I want to suck your cock”.Â
You were walking down the street thinking about your current situation. The weather was lovely. It was hot summer day, people were sitting under huge umbrellas and drinking cool whatever. And you were walking still buried in your thoughts. You were accepted to Rutgers University, and you still didn’t know what you want to do in your life. Who you wanted to be. Your boyfriend well, ex-boyfriend was supposed to study there with you but he changed his mind after he found out that this thottie Rachel had plans to study in California so she could be spotted and become famous, of course your ex went after her. He dumped you right after you said you loved him saying this beautiful words “It’s not me, it’s you”. God, were an idiot for even falling for him.
You wanted to cross the street not really looking if you could do it safety. Your head down, thoughts somewhere else when you’ve heard loud screech of the tires. Your hands was on instant on the hood of the car for support. You were terrified, you were about to meet your death. You lifted your gaze to see driver as much scared shitless as  you were.
“Oh my god! Are you OK? I didn’t see you. You walked on the street so suddenly. I’m so sorry. Are you OK?” the driver hoped from his car and he was in a blue funk, his hands were shaking, his blue eyes were wet. You were sure he will cry in few minutes.
“I’m fine, I just… I have to go” you tried to continue your walk but your legs gave up. You fell on your ass, and your would-be slayer had to lift you from the ground.
“I don’t think you are quite alright. Come, sit here.” he settled you on chair under one of those huge umbrellas on the sidewalk and he sat beside you to make sure you were OK.
“Well it’s a nice day to be killed in car accident” you said and you lifted your gaze to this dude. His face was pale, his hands still were shaking as he looked at you.
“This day couldn’t have been shittier. I almost killed a kid.” he covered his face with his hands and he released a long sigh.
“I’m not kid anymore if that will make you feel better” you said and smiled at him sheepishly. He looked at you with disbelief. You saw he wasn’t in mood for jokes.
“Listen, I can give you a lift home. It would make me sleep better at night knowing you are alive at least” he said and got up from his chair.
“I’ll be fine…” you said and you stood up wanting to keep on walking but he grabbed you by your arm.
“God, girl don’t piss me off, I’ll do anything to make it up to you”
“Anything?” you asked as idea popped into your head
“Tell me. Are you over 21?” you asked him with mischief in your eyes.
“You know you have to have your ID if you want to buy a booze?” he asked as you settled in passenger sit in his car.
“I was thinking that you may buy me booze and you know” you looked at him with pleading eyes
“And you want to drink it in some filthy alley where you can easily be robbed, beaten or…killed?” he swallowed thickly at the last word leaving his mouth. You shrugged and he said more to himself than to you.
“God dammit! What have I gotten myself into? Alright, fuck it” he stared on the car and you hit the road.
He parked the car in front of a bar with big sign “Huckleberry”. The bar was called a fucking Huckleberry? How marvelous.
You’ve learnt that the driver’s name was James but he preferred to be called “Bucky”. This bar was ran by his friend and Bucky assured you he’ll be OK with you drinking alcohol.
Bucky led you through the door and imminently you were hit with cigarette’s stench and the smell of the booze.
You looked around and you saw that this place wasn’t much better than filthy alley.Â
It was quite crowded and you saw several men looking at you. They all had shaved heads, you were almost sure they were some gang or something like that.
You felt Bucky’s firm hand on the small of your back pushing you deeper into the bar.
“Go find some place to sit. I’ll bring the booze” Bucky said to you and he headed toward the bar leaving you alone and you felt kinda anxious still having those men’s gaze on your person.
You spotted abandoned table in the far corner . You focused your gaze on the table and went straight to it, you were scared someone may accost you. Happily nobody did that and you could sit and wait for your drinks. You saw Bucky talking to someone, you assumed it was the owner because you saw Bucky pointing at you, the owner looked at you and you smiled softly to him he returned your smile but soon the view of the owner was blocked by something. Something big. Someone stout. You saw one of the those bald men from before. He was looking at you and again you felt anxious.
“What little girl like you doin’ in this place alone?” he grinned and you imagined how his breath smelled. You felt sick at the thought.
“I-I’m not alone” you stuttered and he grinned even more and you didn’t believe it would be possible.
“Well I don’t see your companion here, unless you’re datin’ The Friendly Ghost” he laughed and you realized coming here was a bad idea.
“I’ll keep you company. No one should be alone” he said and moved to sit on chair beside you
“Actually she’s not alone, but thank you for concern Earl” you heard Bucky voice and you sighed with relief. You didn’t feel like dealing with this dude by yourself
“Bucky! It’s nice to see you, where have you been?” this dude, Earl turned from you and he was looking at Bucky smiling “I haven’t seen you in while”
“I was just busy” Bucky passed the dude and sat on his chair, he placed whiskey bottle and two glasses on the table. How you were supposed to drink it? You’re going to pass out.
“She’s too young for you Buck” Earl said looking at Bucky and you felt tension in the air
“For you even more” Bucky said through gritted teeth. Earl gave up, he said his goodbyes and went to his friends.
“Who was this guy? And what was it about? How can you not be afraid of this dude? I honestly almost pissed myself” you still was in disbelief but Bucky just shrugged.
“That was Earl. His younger brother is my sister’s husband so I’m kinda untouchable. And he is also known for…"liking” young girls" you looked at Earl who was now playing pool and you felt disgust.
“Son of a bitch… So are we gonna drink finally or what?” you felt that the change of subject was a good idea, you didn’t want to talk about Earl.
Bucky filled your glass with amber fluid, you took the glass in your hand and clicked the glass with Bucky’s. You took a sip and you felt how it burned your throat. You were fighting with a cough but you gave up and coughed a little. Bucky smiled at you politely.
“First time?” he chuckled and you nodded. “Don’t worry, it’ll get better in time”. You decided to take another sip and he was right, it still burned your throat but not as much as for the first time.
Bucky drained his glass and he placed it on the table with a laud “click” he grinned and you felt jealousy, he was challenging you and he was better than you in this. He was experienced.
“Back on the street you said you already had shitty day. What happened?” you asked, he filled his glass again and took a sip.
“OK, I can tell you about my shitty day since we’re sharing a bottle of whiskey” he sighed and you started to feel nervous
“With my friend we set up a business and I had to contract a loan. So for now I’m kinda broken but my firm is starting to thrive so I can little by little pay off my debt. But my girlfriend, ex now didn’t believe in me, my friend and the firm so she dumped me today morning through the message. And that is why I haven’t seen you on the road, because I was texting her to get packed and leave my flat”
You drained your glass with one gulp and you coughed at the felling of the burning again
“Are you OK? You want some juice?” Bucky teased and smirked, you realized that he was very handsome with his steel blue eyes and chocolate hairs. His jaw was sharp and he had cleft chin. His light stubble made him even more attractive.
“Shut up and pour me some whiskey!” you started the alcohol in your veins as you acted more open toward Bucky. You were laughing, telling about your plans for future not like you had ones but you were still excited about university.
After three-quarters of whiskey you felt your head spinning and you placed it on Bucky’s shoulder “for support”
“You OK doll?” he asked and caressed your cheek, you nodded humming and to keep up the conversation he asked
“Why you haven’t seen my car approaching? What were you thinking about?” you looked up at him and you saw that his face was so close to yours that you could feel his hot breath.
“Well I was thinking about my future, what I was going to do, about my ex… Oh! Did I mentioned that he dumped me right after I told him I loved him? He did, and he found a perfect excuse to run after that twat Robin or Rosie or whatever. He is a twat himself so I guess birds of feather flock together."you straightened and gulped down your glass, it wasn’t burning anymore, you were enjoying it
"What an asshole. He didn’t worship you properly” Bucky blurted out and his hand went to his mouth immediately
“What?” but it was too late you’ve heard it, there’s no turning back, he had to face it
“I mean… he underestimated you, you are cool and… and fun and… beautiful. I bet this Rosaline is not as nice as you” he was screwed, he knew that and the way you were looking right now with hooded eyes from your insobriety as you were looking at him made his cock twitch in his pants.
You were looking at him. This one word in your head was repeating like on broken vinyl. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful. He found you attractive. And he was looking at your lips. Without thinking you gave him quick peck on lips. After you pulled away he smirked at you and grabbed your chin between his forefinger and his thumb. His gaze drifted from your eyes to your lips and finally he brought his perfect shaped lips to yours in tender kiss.
You got dizzy and you weren’t sure it was alcohol or his kiss, but probably the second one. You returned his kiss as his hand left your chin and traveled to your waist to pull you closer. You placed your hands on his neck not wanting him to even think about pulling away but unfortunately you both had to breath somehow. You looked in his eyes and you shivered when you were met with lust, not to overtime this you said
Next thing you remember was Bucky shoving you out of the bar. When you were outside, he went to his car and he was searching something in glove box while you were standing on the parking in front of the bar gripping the bottle of whiskey he had bought.
You weren’t sure what he was doing, maybe he wanted to fuck you in his car but in front of the bar? Or maybe he was searching for his car keys so he could bring you to his home. You mentally facepalmed yourself. How he was able to open his car with his car keys in. God you were much smarter when sober.
You turned your face from him and took a sip from the bottle, you were getting nervous. Â
“Are we going or not? cause I’m getting nervous you changed your mind”
“Are you kidding me? I’m drunk. I’m not driving anywhere like this” he said and saw features on your face changing so he approached and placed his hands on your face, cupping it
“I’m gonna call a taxi and then we’ll go” he kissed your forehead and hugged you to his chest.
He couldn’t take you to his place, his ex could show up and your house was excluded as well because of your parents.
You didn’t remember what happened in taxi, only flashbacks of Bucky holding his hand on your thigh, you didn’t remember getting to the hotel. Only elevator, when your back was pressed to Bucky’s chest as he was kissing your neck fiercely.
Bucky couldn’t stop kissing you. Your neck, your jaw, your lips. You were like a drug. He found your sweet spot on your neck and he licked it, you purred at the feeling. You fucking purred.
He wanted to mark you, nipping at your skin he started to suck it but you stepped back away from him.
“Don’t leave hickeys… my parents…” you said feeling anxious and you saw he wanted to say something but you interrupted
“Before we go any further I’ll have you know I’m… I haven’t done that before and I’ll understand if you… if” you couldn’t find the right words, you were nervous as hell, you were afraid of rejection like before. It’s not me, it’s you. Mostly because you’re virgin and they get attached You were afraid that Bucky will walk away or he’ll start laughing. But instead he approached you and placed his hands on your shoulders.
“We don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. We drank a lot and you may not think straight”
“Bucky I want this, I want you” you almost whispered but he managed to hear you. He moved his hands from your shoulder to your face making you look at him.
“Are you sure doll?” he was looking of any sign of hesitation but he found none when you said YES.
These 3 letters and his lips were on yours again. His kisses were soft at the begging but when his hand traveled to your waist he pulled you closer to him and you moaned, he used the opportunity to slid his tongue into your mouth. You were kissing passionately, yours tongues fighting for dominance, his winning. You felt urge to grind your crotch to his to make some kind of friction. You did that and he groaned pulling away from you.
You saw lust in his eyes but yours looked probably the same. He pushed you gently on the bed and he hovered above you, his hands on the both side of your head, supporting him, his hips between your legs. Â He was kissing your neck again and you felt coil in your belly tighten. You bucked your hips to his, you moaned and you felt that, his manhood. He was hard.
And you wanted him to do something, you lost your patience. You wanted him, you wanted him now.
“Bucky, please” you moaned into his mouth and you didn’t have to wait long. As instant he was kneeling between your legs and lifting you up so now you were sitting. He removed your shirt, your shoes and his as well and he didn’t think there was point in waiting any longer so he reached behind you and unclasped your bra.
Your breasts were now free and your hand went up to cover yourself but Bucky stopped you as he was looking at your tits with hungry eyes
“God Y/N! You’ve got really nice cans” you blushed and he ducked his head to your left breast.
You were back on your back when his tongue was swirling on your nipple, his left hand on your other breast massaging it. You moaned loudly and you arched your back to him.
He repeated his action with your other breast and when he was plead with how they were perked, he was kissing his way to your core.
You lifted your ass and he slowly slid your shorts from your legs. He hooked his fingers in hem of your underwear and he yanked it down your thighs slow. Agonizingly slow. You were pretty sure he enjoyed watching you getting frustrated.
When your panties was on the ground he parted your legs and again he did nothing, just stared.
“Fuck! You’re dripping” he said and he swiped his finger through your slick, gathering your arousal
“So wet, so fucking wet” he lifted his finger and shoved it to his mouth humming. You moaned at the sight of him, that was fucking hot.
He lowered his head and kissed your inner thigh, he was going lower and his lips traveled to your clit. Your mouth went slack when you felt his delicate kiss. His arms wrapped around you thighs holding them down. His tongue delved in your fold making you arch your back and moan loudly.
Your eyes rolled back as he was eating you out. Your hands in his hair pulling at them lightly. When he began suck on your clit you tugged his hair making him groan against your heat .
You felt tightening in your abdomen and you began to roll your hips. You were close and he sensed that. You inhaled deeply when you felt his finger inside you.
“Oh fuck” you weren’t ready and this was sudden but you found it enjoying
“Just relax baby, I’ve got you” he was kneeling between your legs again, hunger all over his face. He began working his finger slowly in and out your heat and when he felt you was loose enough he inserted second finger.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” you hissed because it hurt, it burned. He was stretching you and you felt tears in corner of your eyes.
“Shh it’s alright, doll. Try to relax ok? Can you do that for me?” his lips were now brushing your cheek and you nodded.
“Good girl” he praised as he felt you relax. He was slowly working his fingers in and out again and you felt coil tighten in your belly. He hooked his digits upward and you couldn’t help but moan loudly at the sensation.
“There you are. Feels good right?” he was deviously smiling at you and you felt you won’t last long.
“Yes.. don’t stop Bucky” you panted as his fingers were brushing against your upper wall.
“’M not planning to” he increased his speed and brushed his thumb on your clit.
“O my god, o my god” you were close, he could feel that
“Let go, I’ve got you baby” with this words you cried out, Bucky didn’t stop his fingers although you were clenching on them hard.
He removed his digits and as you were coming back from your high Bucky took off his sweater and his trousers, he was only left in his boxers. He stood up from the bed and went to dresser next to door on which he left his wallet. You eyed his body, he was well build but not beefy like some guys, his back looked delicious and his thighs… God his thighs made you want to sin.
He came back holding something and you knew what it was. You were glad he was thinking soberly right now. You sat on the bed and he stood before you and you knew what he wanted you to do.
You hooked your fingers in hem of his boxers slowly pulling it down. His breath increased and it was sign for you to continue. His cock sprang free and you felt the urge to wrap your mouths on it. He kicked off his boxers and your fingers reached to curl around his base. You started to stroke him slowly and he was breathing heavily looking at you with hooded eyes. You gave him experimental lick at the tip, his head fell back and he released low groan.
“Fuck! no, stop” you stopped immediately fearing you did something wrong “As much I’d like to be in your mouth I must refuse cause tonight, focus on you”  he kissed you hard and pushed you on the bed.
He pumped himself few times before he rolled condom on his hard cock. Bucky settled between your thighs and you felt his tip brush against your slick. You gasped and he took opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth.
“If it’s gonna hurt or you need me to stop tell me” you nodded and felt his head at your entrance slipping slowly. Your intake sharp breath and looked at him he pushed it some more and you hissed from pain
“Stop! Fuck it hurts” you felt this burn again and you couldn’t bear it
“Tell me when you are ready” he stroke your cheek with his hand looking in your eyes. You adjusted to stretching and you told him he could move. He started to move very slowly and you started to moan from pleasure. Your body wasn’t squeezing him as tight and that’s when he pulled back and surged forward taking your breath away. Another thrust and you hissed from pain but you felt he was now pushing in and out without resistance.
“I think we are shut of your hymen thing” he said and leaned to kiss you. You whined as his hips snapped against yours. You lifted yours to meet him halfway and he increased his speed. His thrusts were now deep and rapid, you enjoyed it, how good he stretched you, how he was bringing you higher with every thrust. You clenched around him and he cursed feeling he was close.
His hand made it’s way to your clit and he started to rub it. You were panting and squirming under him until you arched your back and he held you close to him as you came with a cry
“James!” your eyes were closed and he thought you looked like an angel when you came, sight he would like to see soon again. You squeezed him impossibly tight he barely could move, few more thrust and he emptied himself into condom. He collapsed beside you on bed, you were both panting, coming down from your highs.
Bucky finally got up and placed kiss on your forehead
“You are amazing. I’ll be right back”. He went to the bathroom and you heard water running. You were exhausted, your eyelids heavier with every blink. You had sex. Finally. You had sex and it was incredible. Bucky came back with wet washcloth and he sat on the bed. He gently spread your legs and you hissed. It still hurt a little. Bucky ran warm washcloth through your folds and you whimpered when it contacted with your clit.
“We should probably change shits” you said after you saw the washcloth had red stains.
You helped him with sheets and when the bed was clean Bucky climbed on it, you followed him and he pulled your body to his chest, curling his arm around your waist. With your head on his chest you could hear his heartbeat. It was steady. You fell asleep almost immediately.
Sun was shining brutally when you opened one eye to scan your surroundings. You felt something heavy on your waist and you lifted comforter to find what was it. You saw an arm. Owner of the arm shifted behind you and pulled you to his chest, he nuzzled his face in your crook of the neck. You tried to release yourself from his embrace but you felt a little sore. Oh, right THAT happened.
You’ve lost your virginity to a man you barely know. Despite the pain you managed to get up from bed and you stared to look for your phone. You found it on dresser next to Bucky’s wallet. 17 messages, 23 missed calls. You are dead, your parents going to kill you.
“Fuck!” you yelled and Bucky poked his head from comforter
“It’s to early for this shit. Get back to bed” Bucky collapsed on bed and he was watching you getting dressed.
“I can’t! My parent are gonna kill me! I’m dead man!” you were struggling to put on your shoes and Bucky laughed
“I forgot teenagers have such problems”
“Oh yeah? Mr Adult spoke up. How old are you anyway?” you asked as you were searching for your other shoe.
“24. I’m 24. I can drive you home later”
“You’ve left your car at the bar” you said and you raised a brow
“Oh right…  But before you go can you do me a favor? Can you give me your phone number? I don’t want it to be one stand night… thing… We can hang out or go on a date…”
“Oh I would like to but my parents… they are strict, they don’t want me to date anyone, they didn’t know about my ex, they would be pissed if I’ll date anyone, and you’re older than me and my father would kill you”
“They don’t have to know, you’re moving anyway so I see no reason why we cannot date”
“I don’t think it’ll work…” you said and realized you probably won’t see him again. He got up from bed and hugged you, he kissed your forehead as he said
“We don’t have to date, just see each other regularly” his chin was resting n your head. He was so fucking tall.
“What do you mean?” you lifted your head to look at him
“Look we’ve been both hurt and long distance may not work out but what about seeing each other from time to time?”
“You mean something like friends with benefits?” you asked and honestly you weren’t sure about it. It was still fucking. What if one of you will fall in love with the other?
“Yeah, but in this situation it’s called free love. What do you say? I’ll be by your side to bring you free love. Let’s make it clear, that this is free love. No hidden catch. No strings attached. Just free love”
Your tongue was flat under his pulsing vein, you bobbed your head and took in your mouth as much as you could. He jerked his hips and his head fell back. He always did that when you sucked him.
“Fuck, if you keep doing that I’m gonna cum soon” you hummed around him sending vibrations and he moaned loudly. You pulled him from your mouth. Only string of your saliva connecting your lips and his swollen head. He lifted you from your knees and he laid on the bed, his arms crossed under his head. You know what he wanted you to do. He wanted you to ride him and you happily obeyed.
“You know, you told me I’ll do whatever I want because my birthday’s next week and you keep dominate me” you said and you straddled him taking him all and moaning at he pleasure it brings
“You love it when I’m rough” he said and his hands went to your hips gripping hardly.
“That’s true, I love it” you said and you started to rock your hips.
He groaned and looked at you. You were fucking gorgeous, with your eyes closed, your hair pulled back and your parted lips. Bucky felt the urge to kiss you and that he did. His arms were wrapped around you and he kissed you. He bit your bottom lip and you moaned against his mouth. His lips traveled to your jaw and next to your neck. He nipped at your skin and sucked it making you groan, when he was pleased with what he had crated on your neck he looked at your necklace. Gift from him on your 21st birthday, he smiled at the memory, on that day he realized he fell in love with you. He always found you attractive but you were just a child according to him. Not from that day, you were no child anymore. With your claret dress it was velvet he remember that. Way the dress hugged your body and covered your cleavage but exposed your shoulders and back perfectly. He couldn’t stop thinking about you since.
You pulled him from his thought with your laud cry. You were squeezing him and he knew he’ll come soon after you.
“Bucky please…. touche me!” you moaned when his hand traveled between yours bodies and he started rubbing your clit aggressively
“Come Y/N! Come for daddy!” you clenched against him screaming his name. He rode you through your orgasm but soon he spilled inside you, making you both moan at the sensation. You collapsed on his chest breathing heavily, his arms still wrapped around you, his hands started to drawing patterns on your back making you shiver. He wanted to tell you, he wanted to tell you so badly but he knew he’ll break your heart. He had to come home, he had to leave you here.
“I’m gonna take a shower, you coming?” you asked resting your chin on his chest and looking at him
“You think I’m fucking terminator? Give me a break” you laughed at his statement and got up from bed. You headed to bathroom and he swatted your ass as he got up from bed as well.
After 10 minutes you re-entered the room wrapped in towel and you saw him standing by dresser in his clothes
“We’re doing role-play?” you smirked at him and you sat at the end of the bed, comb in your hand you started brushing your hair. Bucky sat on the bed as well but on the other end his back facing you. You scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around him, your chin on his shoulder.
“What’s happening Buck?” you asked and you started to worry, he was always talkative around you.
“I have to go home” he said “Why? Tomorrows Saturday, you don’t have to work. You’re your own boss” you nuzzled your face in his neck and started to place feather like kisses
“I’m seeing someone” your heartbeat dropped, eyes widen you stated to breath faster
“How long?” you asked “Eight months” Eight months?? He was dating someone eight fucking months?? During these eight months you’ve slept together at least dozen times and he didn’t say anything. You both agreed that when one of you would start dating someone you’d stop seeing each other. You felt bad and you felt sorry for that girl.
“My god…” it was the only thing you could say,  you recoiled from him and you leaned on headboard pushing your legs to your chest and wrapping arms around them.
“I’m sorry I wanted to tell you…”
“Bucky!” you interrupted him “I wanted to tell you..”
“then why haven’t you?” you interrupted him again “Why haven’t you tell me month ago? three month? fuck eight months when you started dating that girl?” he was standing by the dresser again with his head lowered
“I don’t need an apology, you should go and beg that girl on your knees, maybe she’ll forgive you for cheating on her”
“You know it means nothing”
You froze. Did you hear correct? It means nothing?
“Excuse me? So for you six years mean nothing? I mean nothing to you? Please tell me because I don’t understand. Or better don’t tell me anything. I can’t even look at you right now, you sicken me. Get out!” you shouted and you went to the bathroom. You splashed your face with water to calm your nerves. You heard door being locked and you went to the bedroom.
It was empty. He left. The room was empty. You sat on the floor next to bed and you started to sob. His word in your head It means nothing on repeat. Was he using you to satisfy his needs? Probably yes, but why he didn’t tell you about his girlfriend? Your sobbing turned into nasty cry, loud as hell. You will speak with him next week on your birthday. He promised he’ll come, he promised. He’ll come and they’ll talk. He will come.
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