Xuebing Du
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d e v o n
Discoholic 🪩
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Love Begins
almost home
YOU ARE THE REASON
bliss lane
shark vs the universe
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@fab-ernathy
about
Alex/Solace/Auden
mid 20s
he/they/any
dark academia content from the trade school student (studying museum admin but still)
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This is a The Secret History sideblog, and I won't be posting much about anything else unless it also relates to TSH. But if you'd like to know more about me, I'm interested in fashion and perfume and learning languages.
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my fics
the greek class as things people have said about me in the past 3 days (first week of semester, new course)
henry: "i feel like if i had to design the target audience for this course as a person, it would just be you"
bunny: (about my fuckoff huge satchel) "that's like an artist's bag"
francis: "but you're like, rich, right?" (i hadn't said anything related to money)
charles: "you seem like a really nice person, but maybe you're secretly evil or something"
camilla: (this 17 year old who guessed my entire medical history correctly unprompted) "i can tell, it's the trauma look you have"
richard: (after i said which suburb i'm from) "it shows" (???)
winning at museum school by being clocked as a tsh fan
the twins are on the larger side of midsized and i will die on this hill. charles whose stomach forms rolls when he bends over. camilla with a muffin top and a soft chin. bunny saying that it makes camilla unfeminine, that charles probably got that way by drinking too much. you see my vision?
in another life richard is obsessed with 2014 5sos. i'm talking heartbreak girl, try hard, rejects, gotta get out, just saying, end up here, social casualty, daylight, etc. etc. it's like almost too up his alley, complete with the band being very popular but the fans all like to pretend they're niche and have a superiority complex about listening to them over 1d or something (even though they sound very similar).
hey um what if instead of doing a master's by research, i just write a series of essays and publish them, either online, or officially as individual articles or a book? how would you all feel about that? because i was thinking of taking a painting course on top of library studies to prepare for a different postgrad i kind of need to get a job, so like idk if i have time to get another master's just for vanity or because i can. no matter what, i want to be looking at the scholarship, referencing things properly, and putting together a coherent argument. the question is the format. so:
master's (1 thesis, research framework + 6 topics, 3000 words per topic)
pros - i get a qualification, i can work with my favourite professor again
cons - need to use my real name, a lot of boring parts and structure i don't feel like doing, time pressure, need to finish all my points before sharing it
book (same thing but no formal research section, maybe i could ramble a bit?)
pros - i don't have to do the lit review or methodologies sections (can skip straight to my points), could use a pen name so no doxxing required, it's officially published all in one place
cons - need to wait until everything's done to get any feedback, honestly i've never seen this kind of thing (super in depth character analysis) as a book before so idk which publisher would pick it up
articles (6 articles, 3000-3500 words per article)
pros - less time pressure/don't need to completely finish before people can see it
cons - real name issue, this might not be considered serious enough for anyone to publish, would be serialised so would require multiple applications to all succeed
blog posts/substack? (20+ posts - one for each point, variable in length but probably around 1000 words per point)
pros - most accessible to the widest range of people, can do it in my own time, don't have to doxx myself at all, might be able to split it even smaller into individual points per post instead of 3+ point essays, can make claims without needing to back it up with hard evidence (eg when is tsh set?), if enough people want it i could self publish so it's got potential to be a book anyway
cons - literally no academic validation, whatever i write will count as a non scholarly source even if it's the exact same as what i would've had published, puts it further down on my priorities list
thoughts?
master's
book
articles
substack
tumblr posts
don't bother writing it at all (:c)
fine.
hey um what if instead of doing a master's by research, i just write a series of essays and publish them, either online, or officially as individual articles or a book? how would you all feel about that? because i was thinking of taking a painting course on top of library studies to prepare for a different postgrad i kind of need to get a job, so like idk if i have time to get another master's just for vanity or because i can. no matter what, i want to be looking at the scholarship, referencing things properly, and putting together a coherent argument. the question is the format. so:
master's (1 thesis, research framework + 6 topics, 3000 words per topic)
pros - i get a qualification, i can work with my favourite professor again
cons - need to use my real name, a lot of boring parts and structure i don't feel like doing, time pressure, need to finish all my points before sharing it
book (same thing but no formal research section, maybe i could ramble a bit?)
pros - i don't have to do the lit review or methodologies sections (can skip straight to my points), could use a pen name so no doxxing required, it's officially published all in one place
cons - need to wait until everything's done to get any feedback, honestly i've never seen this kind of thing (super in depth character analysis) as a book before so idk which publisher would pick it up
articles (6 articles, 3000-3500 words per article)
pros - less time pressure/don't need to completely finish before people can see it
cons - real name issue, this might not be considered serious enough for anyone to publish, would be serialised so would require multiple applications to all succeed
blog posts/substack? (20+ posts - one for each point, variable in length but probably around 1000 words per point)
pros - most accessible to the widest range of people, can do it in my own time, don't have to doxx myself at all, might be able to split it even smaller into individual points per post instead of 3+ point essays, can make claims without needing to back it up with hard evidence (eg when is tsh set?), if enough people want it i could self publish so it's got potential to be a book anyway
cons - literally no academic validation, whatever i write will count as a non scholarly source even if it's the exact same as what i would've had published, puts it further down on my priorities list
thoughts?
master's
book
articles
substack
tumblr posts
don't bother writing it at all (:c)
Another thing about Francis’ claim that Camilla led on Henry and Richard, why would she do that? We don’t see any evidence of this in the book, but given how ‘possessive’ Charles is, why would she lead them both on in front of him and risk putting herself in a dangerous situation? Charles tries to kill her when he finds out she’s actually been seeing Henry. They both had to take pains to keep their relationship a secret, so why would Camilla lead someone on, just because she can, in the presence of her crazy and jealous brother?
literally!!! like is camilla leading richard on or is she just painfully aware of how he sees her and trying to be polite despite this? is he being led on or is he interpreting basic human kindness as flirtation because he likes how she looks?
imo francis might have heard camilla acknowledge that she's aware of richard's crush on her but that she isn't going to date him or something. like i don't think francis just pulled that out of nothing, or exclusively the way the she acts around richard. they (francis and camilla) are pretty close, so i think him telling richard that wasn't pure conjecture, just a really uncharitable interpretation of what she might have said. which was obviously out of jealousy etc etc.
larping chapter 2 by buying beaudelaire's the flowers of evil (dual text edition) and imagining francis reading the french side in 'the same lazy way he spoke in english' or whatever it is richard said
picturing francis & richard both very drunk and giggling, shoved into the backseat of henry's car after dinner at the twins
craziest thing about abercaulay is i dont even think the sex was good… they were compromising their moral compasses and feeding their self loathing for five mid strokes and no aftercare
i cant believe i never posted this one here
the primary difference between the two greek students who didn't attend the bacchanal:
bunny = how DARE you commit murder without me?!? are we not friends??? for shame!!! i'm going to psychologically torture you all now
richard = no, of course i'm not mad that you committed murder without me. i'll be there for the next one. ❤️
Back on my papenathy bullshit 😮💨👌
hiiiii! I was wondering if you could do a “dating Francis Abernathy would include” with a gn reader!!
aaaaaaah hi!! a lot of my francis x reader ideas have to do with the abernathy family at large, which their opinion on the reader would obviously would depend on their gender, so i'll try to leave those as neutral as possible. (after writing) hm. so just so you know, these aren't going to be him as a perfect partner, and might actually be a little red flaggy. in my mind, he's kind of needy and desperate, and i don't think that would go away with ✨the power of love✨, you know?
dating francis would include...
you mentioning that you like something in conversation, and months later him getting you something to do with that
coming home to soup after a rough day
his (frequent and intense) pda always consisting of things that could be played off as a joke, even if you've been together for a long time, just in case this time you reject him
frequent tests of your patience, usually health related (yours and his)
him inviting you places, whether that's to his house or to new york, under incredibly flimsy pretenses where it's really obvious he just wants to spend time with you, but he feels like that's not a good enough reason for you to say yes
him making snarky comments about random people's clothes or behaviour to you
some evenings with him planning some elaborate meal, but also others where neither of you feel like getting off the sofa so you just snack on the after dinner mints in that wooden box on the side table
waking up to your favourite drink and a pastry every morning
him fishing for reassurance or forgiveness in a way you used to find cute, but now it's actually more annoying than the thing he did wrong in the first place
him getting anxious and reaching for your hand under the table, even when you aren't there
you getting sick and him being very helpful and calming until you get better (having something to do is better than nothing when you're scared out of your mind), then once you recover he'd have a panic attack in the shower where he thought you couldn't hear
one passing the tissues over before the other has even sneezed
him complaining about things but never taking your advice (he encourages you to join in with your own grievances)
being able to sway him to buy things by pretending to be the thing, upset that he won't buy them
what he calls 'companionable quiet time'
him sleeping on his back even when he prefers sleeping on his side, just because he knows you like to sleep on his chest
reading together in the evenings, and he actually laughs out loud at a passage and does a dramatic reading of it, complete with voices and gestures
him not wanting his family to find out about the two of you, because once he isn't seen as a child anymore (which would happen if his family knew he had a partner) he'll be expected to get married and have kids, and he just wants to live without that input for as long as he can
the two of you having a conversation and him fixing your clothes or hair without stopping what he's saying
him having really poor boundaries without realising it, like he'll hear you say no to something like going to a particular restaurant and assume that means you want him to convince you, and when you put your foot down he feels like the worst person in the world
photos of you in his wallet, in his cigarette case, anywhere he can think of
him loving it when you play with his hair, despite the fact it took him ages to get it right
evenings with a jazz record and a bottle of wine
him fussing over whether you'll be warm enough, tucking your scarf into your coat and pulling it up to cover your nose and ears (you're literally fine)
the fact that everyone could tell when you started dating him because your clothes started to smell of his cigarettes
times where he overapologises so now you're comforting him somehow
him falling asleep at the movies, insisting he was just resting his eyes, and confidently explaining the wrong plot over dinner, and when you correct him he says 'well, that's how it should've gone'
forehead and top-of-head kisses, even if he's not significantly taller than you ('bend down!')
your entire wardrobe being different within a few months of you getting together, mostly from things he found and thought wouldn't flatter him but would suit you
you telling him you like something on him, then him basing all his outfits around it
you having to pick up the slack in terms of him actually doing something, so like you'd have to be the one to convince him to finish his degree after julian leaves
a bathroom that's clean but not tidy at all
him noticing you say something in a tired tone, assuming you're getting bored of him, and deciding to be the perfect partner for months so you won't leave instead of just asking you what's wrong
eventually, trips to his family's houses all around the world
at first, your friends knowing him almost exclusively through him picking up your phone when you're occupied because he can't just let it ring
'darling, come look at the sunset!'
[couple of nsfw ones below]
