There are, unfortunately, too many things that keep me up at night. Tonight, is one of the good nights; I am soaring!
I’m grateful for the sky with its myriads of stars and galaxies and old energy making its way into earth. And on these nights, I dream and yearn of all the things I want from life. And I could kiss you right now and tell you everything will be alright.
It is nights like tonight that make all the dark matter that lives within me seem like a beautiful dream rather than the actual x it feels*. But, hey, who cares about that now? When there’s Mingus and his comets cruising in my sky.
On nights like this I wish I was in Montreux, 1975. I don’t think there are enough things I could give in exchange to be present at that concert tonight. Will my teeth, first born, and blood be enough? A lifetime of hunger and/or wartime? What would I give in exchange of grinning like a mad person for 1-odd hours? Of feeling extraordinarily light and heavy and as if I understand absolutely everything I’ve been trying to decipher all my life?
‘Goodbye pork pie hat’ and ‘Sue’s changes’ always take a massive grip on my heart, and I feel I’m going to explode and my cheeks hurt because those extraordinary beings masquerading as mortal musicians’ got me grinning up to my eyebrows.
I love you Mingus. You tell the stories I can’t.
‘Sue’s changes’ and mine too! Mine too!
Now, let it fly! High into the sky!
*I despise this kind of self-pitiful drivel but I’m living it as a testament, to myself, of how ridiculous it fucking sounds.