My response to survey for those both curious and nosy. Also some much needed context about all my blogs.
A) Do you form stronger parasocial relationships in specific types of media? Which ones? With which media are you least likely to form strong PSRs? What about negative ones? Can you describe your parasocial "life?"
I am more likely to form parasocial relationships through fictional media than non-fictional. Though I do form them, I am least likely to have PSRs involving actual people because I feel like there is always something not being shared. I am always cautious about some new detail being revealed that completely disgusts me and “breaks the mystique” about the person. Because of this anxiety, my PSRs with real people tend to be weak.
I cultivate very strong PSRs with fictional characters including tv shows, video games, and probably every character I have ever made for my own stories. These characters always have traits that I aspire to have (dominant females or androgynous characters [SHODAN from SS]) or idolize (emotive/compassionate males [my paragon Shepard in my Mass Effect run], angst-ridden characters of any gender [Zuko from AtLA], and characters with less interesting traits like social awkwardness or nerdiness that I share [Peridot from SU]). I believe the root of my PSRs is giving me the ability to relate to someone very intimately to the point of self-insert fantasies or romantic fantasies. I either want to be them, be with them, or more rarely, feel that I am very similar to them. As a writer, I analyze characters in-depth and the more I understand a character, the more likely I will develop a PSR with them. This level of understanding is usually not possible for me with real people.
One last thing to mention for this answer is that as a young kid, I did not have any role models and was conscious of this fact – almost proud about it. It was only until I was 11 when I would get my first role model (but at the time I didn't see it that way). However, I would argue that she was a “character” though she was a reality tv contestant. As in, in real life, this person does not act as portrayed on tv. Still, her display of social tactics, intelligence, and passion were admirable to me. Second place winner of Big Brother 3, a fellow woman of color who nearly took the pot. This might have been the groundwork for PSRs where I aspire for traits the character possesses.
B) Do you employ fantasy in your parasocial relationships? How so? For example, do you imagine a person in scenarios beyond canon, or beyond situations they have been seen in in reality? Do you create unique fanworks, including art or fiction that expands canon or extends beyond reality?
I hold canon and the original author's intent in high regards. I am very critical of how my favorite characters are portrayed in fandom and am apt to argue why and why not. I am also often brutally honest about some of my fictional crushes where in most cases, my crushes would kill me if I stood in the way of their goals.
That being said, I do indulge in headcanons and twist bits of canon to suit my needs. I have been a fan and collector of fanart for at least a decade now and still have fanart of some of my earliest fandoms (RvB, AtLa).
My strongest PSR has a bizarre backstory. It started as an alternate reality fanfiction between me and my best friend where we married a pair of wrestlers from the WWE. We would write little snippets of what was “currently going on in that reality” every day and it went on strong for about 6 years. The fanfiction somehow evolved into a grand sci-fi fiction spanning 6 generations, which I have still both written and transcribed to digital copies. I lived through these characters lives during my angsty teenage phase when I felt unable to relate to anyone (even the friend that helped co-author this work). And even now, three characters are still recurring in other stories I've written. The dominant female I aspire to be. The emotive/compassionate male destined to change the world. And an angst-ridden character who is... me from another reality. I still use these characters to explore my own thoughts and feelings about things. I often imagine scenarios from my stories or just fantasies of characters I have PSRs with pretty much daily.
C) How does your social life influence your parasocial life? Does interacting with people in real life result in you fostering parasocial relationships, either passively (e.g. watching shows, playing games with others) or actively (e.g. discussing characters)?
My weak (if not, nonexistent) social life, I think, is what causes me to cultivate a strong parasocial life. As a kid in grade school I was shy, had very few friends, and felt I was an outsider. At the start of puberty I actually began to follow certain guys around (aka stalk them) when I liked them. I would learn their favorite things, typical dress wear, hobbies, etc. Hell, often these were boys that I would actually sit next to and interact with in class, but I never learned how to let someone know I liked them and never really learned a more productive way to deal with feelings of affection.
Looking back, I remember a few confusing emotions surrounding why I would do this. I remember feeling like I'd never have a chance with them, but also had the mindset that I would be so good for them. That they were the one's missing out. I tend to hype up my own importance whenever I feel inferior, which explains a lot of things. I also remember never planning on ever letting the person know so it might have been a power thing. I never wanted to hurt them or anything, but knowing things about a person probably made me feel in control about my confusing feelings about the person.
I don't really interact with people very well in real life because of social anxiety. When I have conversations with people, I am looking for the quickest way out of the convo asap and so I'm never really listening or talking in a way to exchange information about myself or learn about the other person. I was quite sheltered as a child as well, so I've never really dated, joined social groups, or really learned any social graces other than being polite, which leaves me quite isolated.
I tend not to discuss my PSRs with anyone offline. There's always this moment of embarrassment when I begin talking about how much I like a character and the slow realization that I'm letting on too much how intimately acquainted I've become with the character. It borders on being perceived as a kink in some scenarios, which often carries a lot more assumptions than I'm willing to take on. Yes, sometimes my PSRs do go into sexual territories, but often I'm just trying to make conversation with someone I'm not that familiar with when I bring the character up. Talking about some of these characters can tip them off that I'm bisexual, liberal, or have some weird thing for sentient electronics, and in most cases, they don't need to know all that.
Online I'm able to often talk at length about these characters where the obsessive implications are assumed but not important or are wholly embraced.
D) How does your parasocial life influence your social life? Do your parasocial relationships and interests result in additional social activity? Did you meet someone as a result of them, do you attend social events (e.g. meet-ups, conventions), or interact with others online?
My PSRs carry an ounce of shame to them, so I don't use them to foster relationships with people offline.
What I have noticed however is that the glorified characters in my PSRs do sometimes dictate my expectations of people and my relationships to them. My last boyfriend disappointed me in not being as available to tend to my emotional needs as I wanted. I realized during the relationship that he was competing with the character I had created in that 6+ year old fanfiction who was basically crafted as my perfect husband. A character, mind you, who was only relevant in the first season of the story and whose scenes fail the male version of the Bechdel test. Not to say this character doesn't have good qualities, but the character is basically a gary-stu to fix all the emotional problems of alternate reality me.
As for online, I'm able to have a public outlet to talk about these things without too much ridicule. But even then I still don't really reach out to others like me.
E) Are there any other interesting or significant ways that your parasocial and social life are related? Do they serve the same needs for you? Are you motivated to engage in them equally, or do you oscillate between the two? Does it depend on the day, your mood, current activities in your social life, or your stage in life? Is there a difference in how positively you feel about them, overall?
It almost feels like my lack of social life as well as my feelings of being unable to cultivate a social life are what proportionally affect the strength of my PSRs and how frequently I look for more. I suppose they are just more rewarding for me.
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