[kataradied-blog]

me dancing sexy and playfully 

beyonce style

get me bodied ft. julius

[richist-deactivated20150511]

Never forget

[pussydeity-deactivated20151212]

FORGET

[menthuthuyoupi-deactivated20140]

I wonder if Rashida has seen this….

[howtobeafuckinglady]

this very disrespectful towards beyoncé

[dildoreo]

one time i took a picture of a tiger at the zoo and the tiger smiled for the picture it was very great and the best picture i’ve ever taken

[dildoreo]

[alphonseelricreal-deactivated20]

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

pebble: finally… after 6 million long years I have finally washed up on shore. no longer am I a slave to the tides, no long-

me [picking up pebble and chucking it into the ocean]: haha sploosh

[austinado]

the worst emotional truama ive ever recieved in my life is in 2nd grade, i went to catholic school and i was really acting out that day because something my teacher did my made me blood boil, so i acted out and got to sit on a bench alone during recess

however, in defiance i ran to the slide and did the only thing i knew how to do when i was upset at someone and pissed my pants

my teacher was forced to clean up the unpacified rage that was my urination off the slide and of course my mom got called, when i got picked up by her later that day, she began to ask me if i still liked Hillary Duff, who was like my weird 2nd grader TV crush and i got all happy shaking my head like YEAH, YEAH I DO LIKE HILLARY DUFF IS SHE HERE

and thats when it struck, the peircing lance that struck my heart, and i will never forget these words my mother told me:

“Hillary Duff doesn’t like pee pee boys.”

[lesserjoke]

Reblog this post with your weirdest ancestor’s name.

I had a great-grandfather named Kermit Dickman.

[wuqs]

why did you start a competition that you’ve already won

[trevenanl-deactivated20200913]

the 👏 best 👏 time 👏 to 👏 wear 👏 a 👏 striped 👏 sweater 👏 is 👏 all 👏 the 👏 time

[help-mywife]

Help, my wife taught our kid to say “wow” in the Owen Wilson voice and now they both won’t stop

[chaoticbabyg]

[thechanelmuse]

[dun3z]

so cute I’m crying

[c0nt8ct-deactivated20211225]

[shewillfeatdrake]

that feeling you get when you’re angry

[shewillfeatdrake]

anger

[egberts]

mountain dew doesn’t feel like a soda you can order at a restaurant. you can’t sit down at a restaurant, ask for a mountain dew, and then sip it out of a glass cup. it’s like you either have to get it at taco bell or you have to get a 2 liter of it and drink it right from the bottle. there are no other options for mountain dew. 

[bob-belcher]

[ruinedchildhood]

[kramer]

[2000ish]

Max Keeble’s Big Move

[vivienvalentino]

Everything is shit and the world might be on the verge of nuclear war.

Bruno Mars: *releases another 80s/90s sounding bop* 

Everyone: