@ followers who know about cats: my cat is extremely skittish and he always walks into the room with his tail down / gets startled very easy / hates loud noises (when we got him we couldn’t even approach him standing up, we’d have to crawl to him to the point where my gf and i just basically moved around kneeling in our room). he’s a rescue cat and he used to be in a cat fighting ring so he’s got cat PTSD ): but anyway, we have new roommates moving into our apartment and i don’t want him to live under the bed all day so i what can i do to help him be more comfortable and confident around new people question mark ): ?
Oh! This is a thing I actually know about okay- so a few months ago, I was in a similar situation to your new roommate. I was going to stay with a friend for a few days, and she had a special needs kitty named Alice. Alice was missing an eye from an animal attack during the time when she was a stray, and had been neglected beforehand, so she had some Trust Issues. The only people who’d ever been able to pick Alice up were my friend/her owner and her owner’s identical twin. By the end of the 4/5 days I stayed with them, I was the third person who was allowed to pick up Alice!
Things that helped under the cut:
1) My friend gave me a run-down on the nature of Alice’s special needs before we even tried to meet. I knew ahead of time that she Did Not Like to be approached from her blind/deaf side etc. My friend ALSO told me about just general kitty guide-lines, like the fact that Alice is a big fan of tummy-rubs and chin scritches. Knowing what would and would not go over well helped me to get off to a good start with befriending the kitty, even though it seemed kinda silly at first.
2) Dogs are a lot more obvious about watching their owners for cues, but cats do it too (they usually just don’t give a fuck, in true cat fashion.) I think the most important thing in the process was that Alice could see that her owner was totally okay with my presence. If her owner had been nervous around me, I am pretty sure Alice would have never come out from under the sofa, much less gotten close enough to sniff my hand or be petted. As often as you can, arrange times where the you and the new roommate are just hanging out nearby where your cat can observe from a safe spot. Read, draw, chat, do each others’ nails, whatever, just as long as the cat can see that you don’t think they’re scary & you don’t get nervous every time they cross their legs or get up to go to the bathroom. If you can include cat toys and/or treats during these sessions, that is A++ because cats can totally be bribed. Basically, be the kitty ambassador
3) For your roommate: brush up on cat body language. You know how cats do the slow blink thing at people they like? Blink at the cat. Make dramatic overtures of cat friendship at the cat, and they will get the message that you want to be friends, not hurt them. There’s a couple of other cool cat body language things you can look up too-- looking at them in your peripheral vision instead of staring at them is a cat politeness thing! Not that you have to do that sort of thing all of the time, but I swear it helps.
4) BE PATIENT. Most people do not have such speedy success stories with befriending special needs cats! The person who had the most trouble making friends with Alice was my friend’s stepdad, and he was hurt/annoyed that the cat wasn’t buddy-buddy with him despite his attempts to be nice. At first Alice avoided him because she’s extra nervous around guys and loud people (of which the stepdad was both) but after she got used to him she still avoided him because he was never happy to see her. Just keep in mind that despite his fluffy adorable exterior, he has lived a hard life and needs extra accommodations to do normal cat things.
