Why is Most Activism for Male Abuse, Domestic Violence and Rape Victims Such Crap?
So many people’s activism is almost always just saying on every story of abuse of male people or anything that mentions male victims (especially with female perpetrators) that “no one will reblog this”. Commenting on how they never get support because it’s all given to women. They’re never believed unlike women who are always believed (no we aren’t. ) that finally someone says something about men. Blah, nothing about actual struggles men face, what they need, or the real reasons they are so often not believed.
All of that it just ends up as veiled misogyny. Some of it is obviously on purpose, but I also think some of it is trying to be “progressive” and equal. But even that is often very performative and shallow. Just a lot fo these stupid Tumblr ideas that just saying “no one cares about male victims” and guilt tripping.
And god some of the worst versions of this is when it’s just nakedly using the pain of is using any violence against men by females to totally obfuscate and lie about the rate of abuse perpetrated by females. Just straight up exploiting their pain to try and silence feminist activism and intentionally or unintentionally just pushing MRA conservative nonsense.
These statistics thrown around are all manipulated and fabricated. Here is a post that gives a 101 on manipulation of statistics if you’re interested. But this isn’t really about that.
Using the pain of men and boys to spew MRA nonsense is horrific. You can not use this tragedy to lie and hurt people. Not to mention this shit makes people more sceptic of claims and abuse and sexual violence across the boredom.
Like please look at what would actually do anything.
What Would Help Men and Boys Who Are Raped and Abused:
Access to housing and safety
Adequate, affordable, and accessible mental health care
Changes to laws that will centre victims and not perpetrators
Education in schools about consent
Education on what rape and abuse look like against man and boys in schools, psychology & psychiatry and police departments
Intervention programs that intervene with abuse that can stop the cycle of abuse in children
Programs that protect boys and like effective CPS programs and reporting programs in workplaces and colleges
Proper domestic violence shelters for men and children
A cultural built on protecting victims and not the powerful
An end to abuse, rape and paedophilia culture
An end to homophobia so often wielded against them
A psychologically literate society
Deconstructing male violence
For child sexual assault/abuse to be wider understood
For porn culture confusing young men and normalizing violent sex
For rape and abuse of men to not be used as a punch line
Media (Movies, News, TV & True Crime) not pushing false information about the cycle of abuse and mental illness
The destruction of gender
Interpersonal Connections:
Compassion and understanding
People educating themselves
Showing a willingness to believe and care
Shut down anyone who dares to mock or undermine victims
Working to unlearn harmful ideals
Again Stop Exploiting Their Trauma
I just don’t understand how the hell you think snide Tumblr comments, MRA talking points, lying and dunking on female victims is helpful or healing. Or god helps you if you think it’s activism or functional support or help for victims.
I’m a radical feminist who believes male violence is a huge problem cares about sexual abuse and males struggling with mental health in any real way!
Helping organizing events that raise money for suicide prevention and education of people of all genders is activism. Working to run a program that educates people on giving mental health to care to Gay men and lesbians helps them. Helping programs exist to educate and advocate for better care is activism.
Running an outreach, education and peer support program for CSA survivors that supports men and women equally (also people who identify otherwise) is doing something. Helping them understand their trauma, educate on trauma, sharing coping skills and emotional support is actually helping. Connecting them with resources, helplines and care is actual support.
Making sure men and boys know they can be abused and raped by both men and women, including explaining how male survivors experience these in unique was is the good way to ensure male victims are recognized, I never make it more important than female victims, because how the hell does that helps?
What You Could Start to Do if You Want to Advocate for People:
Believe victims, listen to all victims
Lift up the men talking about violence, don’t speak over them
Push for better laws and education
Support all people opening up about abuse
Support the people pushing against culture hurting victims
Understanding that people forcing a competition of pain is damaging to them. And that this way of comparing them is being used by the same people making fun of Terry Cruise, shutting down #MeToo, mocking Monica Lewinsky, condemning homosexuality, anti-feminist ideals and enforcing and manipulating male power
Look I’m not hiding my beliefs here. My life, activism and work centre women. I do always prioritize deconstructing male violence and patriarchy. But I recognize that male CSA survivors have to be included in the work I do. Because no one, absolutely no one should ever be abused and must receive support.
If you actually care, like rethink what the hell you are doing.