he/they fae/faer hi! welcome to my blog. i used to be over @ihaventwrittensolong, but have switched over to here. my header was drawn by the wonderful and talented @prettyboyarts! please, enjoy your time here. have something to eat, stay for a song. may i have your name?
i think it feels appropriate that the first chapter posted on here introduces a new (and slightly old) character. with lots of fun backstory.
word count: 5,835
TW: female whumper (briefly there, does no actual harm while there), running away, interrogation (kind of), memory loss, past whump, uhh. i think that’s it!
tldr its not really whumpy, a sweet boy runs away from his owner and finds an azure shelter to help him. tagging @spookyboywhump bc naturally. also shoutout to allen for helping write this bc my brain is MUSH. mush i tell you. i havent posted a writing in so fucking long uh. eenjoy.
-edwin
~~~
The plan was solid, if he didn’t mess it up. He had counted the minutes second by second, every day until he was certain he would get it right.
She got up, showered and made coffee. He waited patiently for her to collect him, to bring him downstairs and make breakfast. He helped cook like always, and laughed quietly along to her chit-chat. His heart raced in his chest, his throat tight with anxiety.
“Will you collect the mail for me, sweetness?” She asked. Lost smiled gently and stood up, nodding his head. It was almost over. Finally, it was almost over.
This is so important. As a good person, you may choose to stick around to prove to someone that you’re not a bad person. You have nothing to prove to a bad person. You cannot help everyone. You cannot fix everyone. It’s not your fault.
Okay yes I know I haven't posted any writing in. A long time. Especially not any plot relevant writing. But hear me out. This. This one. Me and Edwin have been sitting on this idea and it's been fucking killing me.
Takes place after This Piece
CW: mentions of past whump, mention of sibling loss
***
Zander was exhausted when he turned up for work again a couple of days later. He tried not to take time off if he could avoid it, but seeing Cain after so long was somehow both a massive weight off his shoulders, and an extreme drain on his overall mental health, enough that he decided it warranted taking advantage of the generous sick leave they gave him. He tried to comfort himself with the thought that he wouldn’t have to deal with Cain anymore though, things would finally return to the normal he’d grown used to and he could relax. At least, that’s what he thought until he and Eli were called to their boss’ office.
They both froze in the doorway at the sight of Cain Whitaker there in the office. It had only been a few days, despite what Cain had said it looked like he’d be in a wheelchair for the time being. He looked drastically different already though, he had yet to cut his hair but it was neat and pinned back, he was dressed just as nicely as Zander always remembered him, he looked tired, but serious, almost back to his old self.
“What is he doing here?” Elias snapped immediately, scowling at Cain who tried to avoid looking at him.
“Mr. Whitaker wanted to speak to us today. I thought I would let you know he’s here beforehand.” Ms. Atwood explained. “I understand that you don’t have the best history with him, but I still expect you to at least be civil with him.”
“Are you kidding me?!” Eli snapped, Zander quickly putting his hand on his arm, giving him a stern look and trying to silently tell him to shut up. Eli didn’t seem happy about it, but he grit his teeth, keeping any further comments to himself.
“I think we can manage.” Zander said, trying his best to stay calm. He tried to see this as just another thing to get through, another hurdle, another hoop to jump through that would get him closer and closer to the end of all this. Reminding himself it would pass eventually was the only way to keep himself sane.
***
“I promise that there is a good reason for this.” Cain explained. They sat in a conference room with a group of several other people they worked with, including the team of Eli’s friends, as well as others who had started looking into the pet business, and Ms. Atwood of course. Zander had seen Cain address groups of people before but he’d never seen him this nervous, fidgeting in his seat, unable to meet the eye of anybody around him.
“There better be a good reason you aren’t in fucking prison right now.” Eli muttered to himself, it seemed only Zander had heard him though.
“I want… to help…” He said slowly, choosing his words carefully. “I can’t undo what I’ve done, and I’m aware that I’m not really qualified to be involved in the process of actually rescuing people- but I still want to do something. I have the ability to support a project like this, you’ve already rescued several pets- several people, but, there… there should be a place for them to go afterwards, so they can get help, I know you can’t keep them here and you can’t always send them to someone else right away, so there needs to be another option…”
“What exactly are you proposing here?” Ms. Atwood asked, looking at Cain skeptically. None of them really seemed to trust him, they all knew what he had done, but bringing that up now wasn’t exactly productive.
“Think of it like… like a rescue shelter.” He said. “I’ve been thinking over it for some time now, it could be a safe location for recently rescued victims, there could be services and professionals there to help, and they’d be able to stay there while they recover, until they are ready to go home or until we are able to contact somebody who can take them in.”
“Are you doing this just because you feel guilty?” Alec asked bluntly, getting a disapproving look from Ms. Atwood.
“I… that- that isn’t it…” Cain said, faltering at the question. “I do feel guilty. But that isn’t the only reason I’m doing this. I can’t undo what I’ve done in the past but I can try to make things better in the future, and this is something I know I can provide. I’d like to make sure it’s a secure, well staffed, well cared for facility, and if we could work together, I think it would benefit a lot of people. You’ve already rescued several people and there will be more, I just want to help with the aftermath. I know that plenty of people ended up there to begin with simply because they had no one to help them or nowhere else to go, so… I’d like to give them help, and give them a safe place to go to, and stay at for as long as they may need.”
“Do you think people will really trust something that has your name attached to it?” One of their coworkers asked.
“I understand that concern, and for that reason I don’t want my name attached to this at all. I’m not doing this to take credit or earn anybody’s favor, I’m just trying to undo the mess I’ve contributed to. This is for the people who have been hurt, not for my own benefit.” He said, and he seemed to really mean it.
On some level, Zander was impressed by this. He’d always known that somewhere inside him, Cain had the ability to be like this, kind, generous, thoughtful of other people, he just chose not to behave that way, but still, he thought it would take a lot more than a few days for him to come to his senses. He assumed Nicholas must’ve really done a number on him to make him change his mind so drastically. It was a little annoying that it may have taken experiencing that kind of mistreatment himself to finally make a change, but he figured it was better late than never. If he was serious about this, then he knew it would only help people, and that was more important than anything else.
***
Cain had asked to speak to them alone afterwards. Elias hadn’t stopped glaring at him since he’d first entered that room, through the entire meeting, no matter what Cain said he didn’t care, continuing to give him the same dirty look, even when Zander nudged him and gave him a look as if to tell him to knock it off.
Had it been anyone else, Cain’s idea would’ve been amazing, would’ve been more than welcome. A shelter for all the pets they rescued, somewhere safe they could be brought to, taken care of, somewhere they could stay until family or friends were contacted, it was a good idea, but it was coming from Cain. He knew he shouldn’t have been so picky, it’s not like they couldn’t use the help, but he was just so angry at him.
He didn’t know what he expected from Cain once it was just the three of them. Maybe for him to lash out, to scold him for the sour look on his face, berate him for being stupid, but he didn’t. Cain looked exhausted, almost nervous, he could hardly bring himself to even look at Eli directly.
“Wren, I… I wanted to talk to you…” He said cautiously.
“My name is Elias.” He snapped. “Not Wren, not Eli, only Elias to you.”
“R-right, Elias.” He said, quickly correcting himself.
“What do you want?” He asked bitterly, his arms crossed over his chest. “What could you possibly fucking have to say to me?”
“I know you… you probably don’t want to hear it, but I, I wanted to apologize for… well, everything…” He said slowly. “I’m sorry, I really am…”
For a moment, Eli didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say to that. He’d never heard Cain sound so sincere before, but it didn’t matter how much he meant it, it didn’t matter how sincere he was, he could’ve been on his knees begging him for forgiveness, and Eli still wouldn’t have cared.
“You’re sorry?” He finally asked after a few moments of tense silence.
“I am, I’m so sorry.” He insisted.
“You’re fucking sorry?!” He jumped from his seat, suddenly slamming his hands down on the table, causing both Cain and Zander to jump in surprise. “That’s it? That’s the best you can do? Sorry doesn’t fix things, sorry doesn’t bring back my fucking eyesight *sir!*” He shouted, gesturing to his blind eye. “Sorry doesn’t bring back my brother, sorry doesn’t fucking fix anything!”
“Eli-” Zander started, but he just turned his attention to him.
“What?!” He snapped. “You’re not his fucking guard dog anymore, Zander, stop protecting him!” Zander immediately shut his mouth, but Eli didn’t feel bad for what he’d said, not yet anyway.
“You don’t fucking deserve my forgiveness.” He snarled at Cain. “You don’t deserve anyone’s forgiveness, I don’t care what you do to try and earn it, you’ll never have done enough to make up for the things you did!” He said. He couldn’t stand to look at Cain any longer, turning and storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Zander would be just fine with him, he didn’t seem nearly as bothered as Eli was. Right then, he just wanted to get as far away from Cain Whitaker as he possibly could.
***
“Is he… always that mean…?” Cain asked after a moment, and Zander sighed heavily.
“No, you just bring out the worst in him.”
“Oh… he has a brother…?” He asked hesitantly.
“He did. That’s not really my business to tell you about.” Zander shrugged. “Look, are you… are you really serious about this?” He asked, finally looking at Cain directly. “This could really help a lot of people, but I swear to god if you don’t mean it, if you’re just saying shit to make yourself feel better and getting everyone’s hopes up-”
“I do mean it, I swear.” Cain insisted. “I don’t- I don’t know what it was like for you two when you got out, but I know for a fact, a lot of people who became pets were already in horrible conditions. I want to provide a safe place for them, I can fund that kind of thing. I can’t… I can’t undo what I did. You, Wren, so many others already have to live with the consequences of what I did, the least I can do is try to help those who survived.”
“Well, you’re right, it is the least you can do.” Zander said. “And… it’s not a bad idea. We can’t always get ahold of their families, it’s not always safe to send them home right away. They could really use something like that, I think. I got lucky, my moms were ready to take me home immediately, they’d already found them before I was even rescued. I don’t know what I would’ve done otherwise.”
“If you could, I’d like it if you could talk to some of the others. I already have ideas but still, I think it would be a good idea to hear from them what their concerns were and what they feel would’ve helped them, I think that’s important.” He said seriously.
“Right…” Zander wanted to do what he said, but he knew somebody else would have to be appointed for that, he didn’t work close with the rescues just yet for a reason. “You know, you really got your shit together quickly.” He commented almost impulsively. “You- you’ve been free for days and you’ve already come up with this? Did being with Nicholas make you *that* remorseful?”
“I… I guess it did. But it hasn’t been just a few days, I’ve thought about this before, about what I would do if I didn’t die there. I had a lot of time to think about it actually. I know- I know what I did was wrong, and being with Nicholas intensified that but… I knew even before. I knew when I was doing it, I knew when my father first introduced me to it, it’s always been wrong. I would give fucking anything to go back and put a stop to all this sooner but that’s not possible, this is all I can really do now.” He said.
“Yeah…” He hesitated, debating if he really wanted to say what he was thinking in that moment, before giving in. “I’m proud of you, then.” He said. He had to glance away from Cain, he didn’t really want to see his look of disbelief. “A lot of people can’t admit they were wrong like that. You can only get better from here. I know Eli said what he said but still, I want you to earn that forgiveness from people. I think this is the way for you to do that.”
“Thank you.” Cain blurted out. Zander already regretted saying it, he knew it would make Cain emotional.
“Don’t get too hung up on that.” He said dismissively. “Just- try to deserve it, okay?”
“I will. I promise.” He told him, and Zander has known him long enough to know, he really did mean it.
Zander left there that day feeling hopeful, for the first time in a while he thought maybe things would get better. There weren’t a lot of things they could really fix, there were people they couldn’t bring back, but trying to help the people who needed it now sounded promising at least. He knew Elias was still angry, angry that Cain showed his face there, that he was suddenly acting so good after everything he put them through, and he didn’t blame him for being upset. He planned on going to check on him, he really didn’t think he should be alone when he was this angry, and he could keep his own feelings towards Cain to himself. He knew Eli would absolutely freak out if he knew what he’d told him, would lose his mind even more if he knew Zander had given Cain his number before he left. He told him to only contact him if it was absolutely necessary, going against his own hopes and prayers he would never have to see him again, but it was becoming increasingly clear that wasn’t realistic, they were far from done with each other.
He didn’t feel as upset about that as he thought he would.
Mentally sending you mac n cheese, hot chocolate and soft blankie right now /gen
im very autistic so i actually hate cheese and its also very warm here but i appreciate the sentiment thank u. i will give these things instead to an oc who will appreciate them.
“homophobes and transphobes think lgbtq identities are exclusively about sex, so kinky or sexual lgbtq people shouldn’t be allowed to be visible because that reinforces that association in peoples’ minds” is no different from “lets shame feminine, flamboyant queens because they’re playing into harmful stereotypes”
if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: oppression does not run on logic. whatever justification someone has in their brain for oppressing someone is a lie. we know this because the excuse can change at any time to suit the oppressor’s needs, but the oppression stays the same. misogyny is misogyny regardless of whether you think women cursed the world by eating the apple in the garden of eden or that their hormones make it harder for them to understand math. it is an excuse, not an actual reason, because there is no actual reason. it’s illogic all the way down.
oppressors don’t oppress you for something you do, they oppress you for something you are. trying to alter your behavior to appease them is always going to be pointless. it is a game where the goalposts are made up and the points don’t matter because at the end of the day, homophobes don’t hate you because you’re too queer or the wrong kind of queer, they hate you if you’re queer at all.
People will no longer be allowed to take close-range recordings of Arizona police under a new bill signed into law by Gov. Doug Ducey on Wednesday.
House Bill 2319, sponsored by Rep. John Kavanagh, makes it illegal for anyone within 8 feet of law enforcement activity to record police. Violators could face a misdemeanor, but only after being verbally warned and continuing to record anyway.
Exceptions were made for people at the center of an interaction with police, anyone standing in an enclosed structure on private property where police activity was occurring and occupants of a vehicle stopped by police as long as recording in those instances didn’t interfere with police actions.
It goes into effect on Sept. 24.
Kavanagh wrote in an op-ed said HB 2319 was meant to protect officers from potential harm or distraction outside of the incident they were already involved in. He initially introduced the bill with a 15-foot restriction that was later amended down to address concerns it would be unconstitutional.
But many people, including First Amendment experts, continued to oppose the bill, stating it was unconstitutional at its core, lacked specificity and granted police too much discretion. Various news organizations, including Gannett, the company that owns The Arizona Republic, also signed letters from the National Press Photographers Association opposing the bill.
Bystander videos of police have become increasingly common and, at times, expose police misconduct. It was instrumental in the case against former Minneapolis police Officer Derek Chauvin, who was filmed killing George Floyd and ultimately convicted for his murder.
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