FaithShiroChan JokerSpade

I'm Jokerspade/FaithShiroChan/Leaf Physical age|26 Internal age|5 Pronouns|She/Her Welcome, I love all sorts of stuff and I like to doodle stuff~ This is my personal blog that has all sorts of trash on it. Feel free to talk to me at anytime. Formerly leafrabbit.tumblr.com Tags Tracking : leafrabbit, faithshirochan

[faithshirochan]

URL Change

Ahem. It’s been a while since I’ve come back to tumblr but I’m still alive and all but due to personal reasons I will be changing my url for my tumblr and clearing up my blog in the following future.

One of the reasons is quite obvious, I no longer role play anymore. However LeafRabbit will still be my oc, a character i created when i first created my tumblr account and be here.

The url I’ll be changing it to will be something i use for my art and will not be changed in the future (hopefully) I will be going by either JokerSpade1320 (With or without the numbers) and faithshirochan (the first name i used when i first had access to the internet) I have accounts going by leafrabbit as well but if they are still around it just means i have no way to change the username or such.

It doesn’t mean I’ll suddenly be active on tumblr since a lot of things happened that was a bit unpleasant after I started interacting with others around on tumblr so if anyone still wishes to contact me and have a chat or what not, i’ll be on twitter or discord most of the time.

Understandably a lot of my old art is under leafrabbit but i’ll be coming up with a new watermark so and so forth but my hiatus on art has not ended yet due to personal real life issues that has not been solved.

Edit : I’m changing the url also because of a sort of identity issue i have :L I don’t identify as leafrabbit anymore and its bothering me since i identify more as faithshirochan and jokerspade. the tags i’ll be tracking will be faithshirochan from now on as well.

Another explanation as to why faithshirochan, its the first username i used and its well. one of my very first few ocs i created when i first entered a franchise, not that it matters anymore since its mostly just me now. Jokerspade is what i started using when i started going off roleplaying and stuff and i prefer that name quite alot so its my preferred username but faithshirochan will more be for my art things.

Edit 2.0 : If anyone wants to add me on discord please dm me instead of straight up adding me, i don’t just add random people i don’t know and i’m not saying i hate or dislike or don’t want to talk to you. I just tend to ignore discord friend requests that aren’t accounts i am aware of and where they come from etc. Heck I don’t mind adding people who are following me but i’m not following back and all. I’m relatively good to talk to and i don’t bite. I’m just mostly more wary nowadays thanks to things that happened a long time ago and i tend to talk a bit less to people i’m not close with. Edit 3.0 : As of 8 July 2024 i have regrets letting go of the url without claiming it so my old followers/following can contact me. I also see a lot of broken tumblr links heading towards that user’s tumblr

[faithshirochan]

Happy Birthday to myself!!! and Happy New Year Everyone!!! 🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊Sad to see 2025 fly away 😭😭😭

[faithshirochan]

Happy Birthday to myself!!! and Happy New Year Everyone!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊

[faithshirochan]

Just another post because the previous post got too long but i hope people do know that things that happen on the internet sometimes isn't just a joke or whatever. Don't read unless you can take sensitive content

People actually did take their own lives for things that happened on the internet. Why I'm talking about this is because of the amount of times i've come close to doing so myself. I'm terrified of living due to how cruel people can be. Like Its just a block you say? Move on? Yeah but to people like me it makes me lose my mind because I hyper focus on things related to myself and this fucked me up badly because i was blocked without a response and no closure. And all i did was ask a question. It was JUST a question. They could have said no. Like I'm not angry while typing this i'm just devastated as hell, crying and feeling REALLY fucking awful. I don't know what the fuck i said wrong or what i did wrong and no one tells me anything. Like how the fuck am i to know if i offended someone if no one TELLS ME WHAT I DID. Whats the fucking point of living if people don't fucking tell me things. Its like this in real life as well and its not just strangers and friends my own family do this to me as well so WHATS THE POINT. This has been on going for too long in my entire life. People hide shit from me and refuse to tell me things. I'm not even going to mention the list because up till now i DONT KNOW who broke my cup no one fucking fessed up. No one fessed up on who tore my poster etc. I'm just left WITHOUT CLOSURE on anything irl and online up till now so whats the fucking point of living. I share my worries but no one fucking listens. I'm fucking TIRED. This is just ONE of my many problems. But my anxiety has been on this issue for. Like a month. Ever since the block. Like I had mostly recovered from all my anxiety issues and all but this block just brought back EVERYTHING. I'm not even joking. I gave myself a year properly to fix things irl this year and this happened.

Honestly. I'm extremely suicidal. Don't talk to me and try to get me out this state of be a "Good" guy I'm just fucking tired. Like this is mostly the last fucking straw. The block thing. Heck the url thing did contribute but honestly majority of my anxiety stems from the block. People may think its a small thing but priority for different people are different. So just. Just don't. Like. I've been suicidal since i was young i have attempted it seriously once and i failed because someone broke the door lock on my room door. The windows are forever locked in my room because of that. I can still lock the door of course but the knob is extremely wobbly as fuck because someone yanked it opened. Obviously i can try a different way but honestly speaking its such a waste after everything i've done last month to fix my life.

[faithshirochan]

Daily Not ok Anxiety post and Daily I'm still living post. Sigh. I'm not ok guys. Just the usual anxiety from my previous few posts that i mentioned running but honestly. HONESTLY. Just still wish i got closure with a "NO" from them rather a block. I would. Literally. Just be able to let it go easier with time. Like no response no messages no answers to my only message to them. Honestly this really is awful. Like I hate thinking badly of people. Really. I just. I don't know what else to say. Still on discord until further notice.

[faithshirochan]

Still not ok ;; *lies down on floor and cries*

[faithshirochan]

Daily hello waking up to anxiety first thing isn't really alright ;w;

[faithshirochan]

Also sorry for the spam. But SideNote looking at my old art makes me well. At least slightly wanting to reorganise my tumblr at least so its neater without old posts and even if i post here i won't really be around due to anxiety. I have to take care of myself and all. I have a life and i need to fix it so i can continue my hobby of being an artist. So yeah I don't post art due to my anxiety but its not as if i actually stopped in real life. I post snippets on discord but i delete it sometimes when my anxiety acts up. So if anyone still wants to add me on discord drop a message or whatever. I've been doing digital art of the fandom i'm in but im not up to colouring them in until i fix my life. Because if i colour these art in i'm going to have to announce it as a finished art and post it online.

[faithshirochan]

Looking at my old art made me sad because i desperately want to share my love for art and what i've created with others but also I'm terrified of the internet because people i keep meeting are awful and i just. I can't stand it because people think i'm strong irl but i'm not i'm just. Someone. I'm rather speak what's on my mind and i want people to say the same to me and not. Not just block me instantly. If people hate me i rather they say it to my face. Just like how people in real life hated and bullied me for me being me, i had an awful life but compared to people lying to my face? I rather be told i'm shitty and that people hate me to my face because it won't hurt as badly and i can move on.

[faithshirochan]

I don't know if i ever want to post art on tumblr ever again after experiencing things like that on tumblr I'm really not ok at all. Like. I'm upset as hell and i don't know what to do at all.

[faithshirochan]

Just my usual anxiety about my old art being linked to the former url because people reblogged it from that time. ;; Like Its added itself to my anxiety of not wanting to post art because i'm just getting triggered by my own art itself.

More of a why did that person block me instead of answering with a response at least. That and regrets over the url is coming back like a wave because i was a moron and idiot who procrastinated and i'm agonising badly.

[faithshirochan]

Quick alive login. My anxiety still lives and will continue lol. I mean i say lol like its funny but it isn't i'm not fine to be honest, dealing with irl makes me want to cry sometimes but online has good and bad memories so i'm stuck in limbo. Sigh. Welp.

[faithshirochan]

Here's the weekly alive checkers. Lol I'm alive yes but i got things irl to do like. Its still the same as when i was younger and was so busy i dropped so much art into my folders and never finished them. I never knew life could eat my hobbies so much but fair.

[taraxippos]

Akira bike sliding on a horse

[taraxippos]

concept art

[taraxippos]

concept art

[figmentof]

cathedrals everywhere for those with eyes to see or however they say it

[shinisenko]

[nockergeek]

My partner and I cancelled our Adobe accounts today because of this. Imagine if makers of physical art media had the right to pilfer your sketchbooks because you used their pencils and paints. That’s basically what Adobe is trying to foist on everyone.

[dduane]

These guys are way too famous for overreach. WTF.

[alymccart]

[delyth-thomas-art]

Here's how to cancel for free

Cancel Adobe without paying the cancellation fee

How to cancel your adobe subscription without paying the cancellation fee.

[xxtc-96xx]

I’m pretty sure that has to be illegal, especially when it comes to NDAs in film and show projects who use photoshop for things like backgrounds. If they’re smart they’ll roll this back before they get sued

[ceilidho]

btw this isn't a vague/subtweet (post?) or anything but just so y'all know, there's a way to mark things as "inspired by" on ao3

you don't have to just put it in the notes!! very cool under-utilized feature

[peachesofteal]

This is an underutilized feature of AO3, and a great way to credit the work you might be taking inspiration from.

[thebaconsandwichofregret]

It's also useful because it will link your work on the work it's inspired by! A little section pops up to say "Works inspired by this one:" and a hyperlink at the bottom of the original fic.*

And then anyone who finds the fic that inspired you will have the option to read your fic too and anyone reading your fic has the chance to go read the fic you loved so much you had to write about it! Everyone wins!

*The author does have to approve that link, it doesn't just pop up on it's own, but in my experience as someone who enjoys gifting fic it's usually well received.

[scifikimmi]

PLEASE use this feature! Its so cool! And it is a great way to drice traffic to both the original and inspired by work since it automatically provides a direct link. You can also connect translations! Which is amazing! This is a super great feature on ao3!