The Secret Diaries of Janice Combs

I am the original celebrity mama. I am meemaw to Justin, Christian,Chase, and... whatever Sean named them twin girls. I go to red carpet and VIP events and get my picture taken a lot. Head of the Celebrity Mama Mafia. I am also the icon of the Femme Wig Realness vogue scene. Google me, honey. var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-28492999-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })();

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AZEALIA BANKS - 212 FT. LAZY JAY (by AzealiaBanks)

*grabs late pass while jammin to this funky track* This girl just murked Nikki, MIA, and whoever else in the game.

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There Is No Such Thing as Watermelon Ciroc Vodka

This has Ms. J Alexander's greasy Fashion Fair name written all over it.

Whoever is out there bootlegging my son's vodka, the battle has been joined.

Emergency Celebrity Mama Mafia meeting tonight to draw up a counter-offensive. 

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Honey watch me come in at 2:21 and wash the crowd away like tsunami. Leyomi betta bow down to the Queen of the femme wig realness category. I had to leave the floor before I burned it up y'all. No shade. No tea.

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7 Wtf Endorsement Deals Featuring Rappers 4. P. Diddy For Proactiv Solutions I don’t know how in the f*** this came about but I suppose even the devil needs to “moisturize his situation” and “preserve his [...]

Source: The Smoking Section

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(PARODY) "Drawing The Line" - Got 2B Real - Season 2 Premiere (by LaBelleOfTheBall2)

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Daughter In Law Candidates: Jennifer Hudson

Engaged, shmengaged. Child please.

Who are you gonna be happier with, my son the music mogul, or that boy trying to be the next John Cena? I rest my case. Here's how Jennifer stacks up on my scorecard:

In common with Sean: Music business, endorsements, outside children.

and more importantly..

In common with Me: Fabulous weave at all times. Very stylish. Awesome figure. Awesome pumps.

2011 Earnings: $2M ... and note that's $2M more than Kim Porter.

Other pluses: Good home training, Weight Watchers contract.

If you have any other suggestions, hit the Get In My Business button and hit up the Queen. 

[signedfury]

SWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE!!!!

[fakejanicecombs-blog]

So Me, Big Ang, and Nancy Jones Go To this Hookah Bar

Psst. Wanna know why Big Ang and Mama Jones talk like the Ghosts of Harvey Fierstein Past? One word: Hookah. 

Yeah once in awhile me Big Ang and Nancy go to this hookah bar called Babylon on 34th street right? (Personally I think it's all a ploy by Nancy to try and get in to the Celebrity Mama Mafia. Not.happening. Not as long as I got a pulse.) 

Anyway, I don't know why I keep going, because Ang and Nancy have built up such a tolerance they got to drag off 4 or 5 hoses at a time. This means we can't sit together. These greedy yatches have us taking up 3 tables just so they can get their Puff the Magic Dragon on. We can't even hear each other talk, so you know what we do? Sit there and text each other all night long. How stupid is that?

I mean if you got that kind of lung power, why not go fire up one those pan flutes and cut a record?

Make some money and quit wasting my time, you know? I mean if you can't put some sticky icky in there, what's the point? 

Anway I'm up now, so I'm gonna go to work revealing the first of my top 10 choices for a wife for Sean. 

[90s90s90s]

[signedfury]

Dancing Puff was everything. I dare you to disagree.

[fakejanicecombs-blog]

Uh huh, well you see where Suge's azz is now huh? Yes honey the Celebrity Mama Mafia regulated that azz....talkin bout my baby.

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Where Ya Girl Janice Has Been

Yes sweeties, Ms Janice Combs is back on the scene, crispy and clean!

Where have I been? Well besides providing security for Michelle Obama, going to red carpet events, holding court with the Celebrity Mama Mafia (which has undergone some membership changes, more on that later), and preparing for my next vogue ball?

I'll let you in on a little secret.

I am on a mission to find a wife for my son Sean. 

Oh and let me clarify, a wife with a job or her own business. Which means NOT-Kim-Porter. Oh I've made no secret over the years she is not my choice in a mate for Sean, yes m'am. You know who will always be at the top of my list.

Let's just say recent events haven't exactly been an accident, okay? 

However, I do have a Top 10 list of suitable candidates just in case "Operation Selena" ;-) doesn't work out. I'll be hitting you with that later.

Well that's all for now. Kaleena and Dawn from Dirty Money are coming over to wash and wax my Mercedes SLS coupe . What? They're still on the payroll! 

[vogue]

Eddie Borgo Pre-Fall 2011

Photo: Courtesy of Eddie Borgo Visit Vogue.com to see more from the collection.

[fakejanicecombs-blog]

Oh yes I will be copping this...in platinum.

[mauricecherry]

POTUS on your phone — Ringtone

C’mon, you know you want it.

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Heyyyyyyyyyy NOW!

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Re, seriously? Let me hit her on her 2-way...

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Guess who's back? The ball j jizack! Aka Ms Crack a Brick