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situationship advice needed

Me and my friend started something casual. He made it clear from the beginning that it would be casual. But then we talk every single day about everything and so naturally, I caught feelings. He has been hung up on his ex and we talk about her and how he feels at least once a day. Our longest conversations are about her. But then he says little shit that keeps me around or keeps me interested, or tells me how amazing I am, and today he basically said he has felt things for me before but then the ex pops back into his head and it smothers out everything else. I think why this is so hard for me to cut off is because he is one of my best friends.

Part of me wants to be done. I want his ex to come back or I want him to get whatever outcome he wants from that. And then the other part of me wants to suck it up and try to emotionally detach so that i can keep my friend.

I've never been in a situationship before, let alone with a friend who I really love having in my life. But I also feel like I'm going insane.

#situationships #advice #relationship

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The Fairy of the Moon (circa 1891)

— by Hermann Kaulbach

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But can’t for the life of me remember what it is

2019

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“You are not a reflection of the people who can’t love you.”

— Caitlyn Siehl

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Kurt Donald Cobain (February 20, 1967 – April 5, 1994) was a musician best known for being the lead singer of the band Nirvana. The band was formed in 1987. I started to get into music right at the cusp of the “ grunge “and alternative music explosion, which swept me off my feet. I remember saying I was into “alternative music” when Nirvana was making a lot of buzz and starting to gain mainstream notoriety in the mid-’90s. The band found a fair amount of success with the song “ Smells Like Teen Spirit” off their second album, Nevermind. The band found more success with the release of their critically acclaimed MTV Unplugged. Cobain had a wonderful sense of humor, despite lyrics that could seem gloomy, and he reluctantly became one of the front-runners of grunge. Kurt struggled with fame, wanting to keep the integrity of his music. He dealt with addiction to drugs and fame and had health issues. This became too much, so he took his life at 27. Kurt Cobain set a type of precedent for rock stars today. Unfortunately, Kurt’s music has become what he wanted to avoid. Even if Kurt’s dreams for his music may have died, he still may go down as one of the most influential artists in rock music.

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“I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.”

— Faramir, The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers by JRR Tolkien