Hi! Welcome to my blog! I'm Finn, he/him but I'm fine with they/it :]
I'll mostly reblog whatever hyperfixation I have at the moment and maybe post some personal thoughts under #fallenhero7
I'm part of the really cool server called Meowcraftsmp and I will also post stuff about it under #meowcraft smp
here's a list of fandoms you might see on my blog :
Minecraft smps! such as : Dsmp, Hermitcraft, Traffic smp, Vampire smp, Pirate smp, Rats smp, Outsiders smp, Area Unknown smp, Bear smp, The ApolloTV cinematic universe, Origins smp, Asmp, empire smp, X life, other non traffic smp life series (fanmade),,,
Others media (depends on my current interrsts) such as : Dunmeshi, JJK, MHA, TPN, TADC, TOH, Amphibia, Steven Universe, Gravity Falls,Homestuck, Eddsworld, Slay the Princess, PEAK, Undertale, Deltarune,,,,,,
for my pansexual awakening, i was watching pokemon (indigo league) and i was entranced by both Jessie and James
for my transgender awakening, my sisters were watching a one direction music video and i YEARNED to look like Harry Styles for some reason. I then realized that I only wanted to look like Harry Styles cuz Harry Styles was a boy.
i think my very first "i love women" moment was when i was four and i saw maria reynolds in hamilton for the first time... i was CAPTIVATED. it probably took me longer to learn that i was into guys at all than girls tbh and hhmmmi think christian borle might have been responsible for that ...?gulp.
my genderqueer awakening was hedwig and the angry inch and im so serious. after watching the movie for the first time i knew that there had to be so much more to me than just being a girl:)
i guess i have to thank musicals for my being gay bru
tags: @thegreatestchai (i dont think ive ever heard this from u surprisingly), @cosmicbrown1es , @doktorcringenfailen , @allnumbb , @havent-prayed-tnght , ++ open!!!!
during covid i saw a bunch of like "lgbtq tiktok compilations" on youtube and i was like THIS IS SO MEE oh and also serena from pokemon xy 😍 i had a big fat crush on her
for my trans awakening Um that was probably likkkeee hunter from the owl house 🤔 but i really dont know i kidn of just slowly faded from cis girl to genderqueer to trans guy to genderqueer trans guy lmao
@arteei @linguinemunch @centipaw @sleepyeyedstare + OPEN TAGS!!! all /nf !!!!!
my first ever lgbtq awakening was before i even knew what being queer was 😭😭 baby ozzy found out girls could marry girls and was like oh HELL yeah 🔥🔥🔥🔥 and identified as a lesbian for up until i was an early tween. as i got older i realized i wasnt cis, so i identified as many nonbinary umbrella identities for years, but was living in denial of being a trans man. eventually it got to a point where the tv was glowing so bright that all the blankets i laid over it over the years were doing nothing. so i took a deep breath and threw them off, changed my name, cut my hair, and accepted myself. i later on found out i was gay/mlm because of a will graham cosplay video. and then found out i was aroace spec for a reason i cant remember, but i had been asexual for years before that, like since i first identified as something other than cis. uhhhh and then after that all the labels i collected werent huge dramatic awakenings...more like seeing a label and going "ohhhh so thats what this feeling is" and then using the label from then on :3
/nf tags!!: @mikeandwillsweddingofficiant @anetherealdawn @ev1lgoob @heavensentkennz @interstellar-espresso and any other moots i forgot to add who want to join!
i was extremely sheltered as a kid since neither parent(divorced) wanted me to ever find out gays exist(weird living situation, thats a thing for later) so i grew up through my childhood and tween years thinking i was broken for never wanting to have boobs, give birth, be some dude’s wife.
When my mom was doing in home therapy for a lesbian’s daughter i found out about LGBTs then, at that point i thought i was also a lesbian because i wasnt aware of intrusive thoughts existing(living with a porn addicted pedophile and a mother obsessed with cooing over “crushes” i never really had during my FORMATIVE YEARS can really fuck someone up). Nobody told me it were possible to have no attraction and the intrusive thoughts i were having seemed like what attraction looked like when i saw other people express it.
At 13 when i got Pinterest and my cousin lived with us for a few months i found out about aros and aces(as well as intrusive thoughts and other things people learn about when studying psychology or going to therapy) then immediately went “oh, so i was right all along, im NOT a disgusting pervert, those thoughts ARENT MINE and there are people like me who dislike relationships too!”
around that time my cousin was experimenting with their gender so they asked about what id change my name to, i didnt know it were possible to change it without going into witness protection, so naturally i couldnt think of a name at the time so i started using my bird’s name as my nickname since my given nickname was even worse than my formal name.
then my cousin asked me about gender stuff, they were a boy at the time but when they asked me i said “well i have girl parts and i KNOW i can never CHANGE them so I’ve accepted im stuck with this stupid body”, they guessed “oh so youre a demigirl?” I had no clue of what this was so i went with it
later on Pinterest i found out about nonbinary people and at that time i assumed gender was more like a light switch like i was taught, didnt want to be a hyper masculine man or feminine lady so i thought that worked, from then i thought gender was a single line slider. Unfortunately i set myself up for a bunch of pain because my mom hated the NB thing and my dumbass just would not shut up about it, once i was out of that closet i was out
a few years later i found out about genderfluid genders and realized that gender is more like a 5 dimensional multiverse with giant galaxies 286372229372785 billion more colors than shrimps have access to. From that point on i was boyflux and im still like that now, mom has been internalizing her hatred better but im still afraid of what she will do when she finds out i regularly wish for a dick and to be addressed by he/they/hymn. I accidentally outed myself a bit but not all the way, i hope i can get away from her so i can transition properly. I have found a name for myself at this point, i was 15 but only told mom my name at 16 because i had to in order to be addressed properly at my first job
she still wishes i never found out about sasha.
She wishes my cousin never outed themself to me(cousin was sent to a psych ward and detransitioned) and is convinced im so gulliable and easily manipulated that surely i must have been tricked into being “woke”
she still thinks i will turn into a girl again later once im out of this “phase”(show me a permanent state of the self! I wasnt nonbinary forever and likely wont be boyflux forever but im sure as FUCK never gonna be a girl again and insult all of girlkind by being one!).
and now she thinks now that im masc sometimes instead of only nonbinary(which she views as diet agab) she thinks i crush over every girl i talk to, which i dont, im still on the aro/ace spectrum and queerplatonic, though im unsure what my specific preferences of attraction are called, ill still have to research
Sorry it took so long for us to get to this, we've been kinda preoccupied all day
First I'll give my own personal answers:
I never really had any big revelation or awakening when it came to my gender. I kinda just always felt like I didn't really have much of one, but still had a fairly strong connection to manhood, hence why I consider myself an agender man.
It's pretty much the same with me being demisexual and demiromantic, the idea of being romantic and/or sexual with someone who I don't have a super deep bond with has always just been icky to me.
Figuring out I was finsexual took me a while longer though. Before I had really been exposed to the fact that "hey, anybody can present however they want regardless of their gender!" I kinda just assumed I only liked women, eventually had a bisexual (?) panic when I became attracted to a fem presenting man, thought for a little while I was pansexual because "Oh, well I don't actually care about my partner/s gender or sex, I just like feminine traits", then I eventually came accross the term finsexual and realised that fit.
As for our collective identities, we also didn't have much of a sudden realisation we were queer, more just a realisation that it was actually normal and not weird. Being plural made it rather difficult to come to an agreement on collective labels so we have gone through quite a lot, but here is how we came to our current ones:
For our gender we identify as genderfluid and also transmasc. Genderfluid is fairly self explanatory - having varying headmates with varying genders makes it hard to pinpoint a collective one. The reason we decided to start considering ourselves transmasc is because collectively we would like to make ourselves more androgynous and one of the ways we intend to do that is by (hopefully) starting andronising (I think that's the word?) HRT and maybe getting breast reduction surgery at some point. Plus with how much our extended family loves to misgender us, we've collectively formed an aversion to presenting fem around them, even if it's a fem person in front because god knows they'll use that as an excuse to misgender us going forward. So long story short: We collectively wish to be androgynous, but leaning more masculine.
Sexuality is more straight forward - aroaceflux because various headmates have different orientations between aroace and allo, and pan because while individuals have their own preferences, we collectively we love people for who they are, not their gender.
Also we're collectively very, very polyamorous.
Anyways, uhh, that was a lot. Oops.
@calamity-collective @depressedquetzal /nf. I'm tired, I dunno who else to tag.
I learned about gay people from a friend in 5th grade and trans people from a Pentatonix music video of all things but it never really clicked for me bc I was in like fourth grade. In seventh grade I met the wonderful @ineedalittleroomtobreathe and he came out to me as bi at the time. Funnily enough, it was a no brainer for my autistic brain to go “oh, cool, me too” with literally no big emotions about it. Over time, my sexual orientation shifted as a tried to figure out who I was, from bisexual, to asexual, to omnisexual, and finally to pansexual/panromantic. I also added in demisexual/demiromantic, asexual/aromantic, and more recently, idemromantic
My gender took a while longer. My ex actually came out to me as nonbinary, and later as a trans man, and again, my autistic ass was not at all bothered and immediately went with it. I also believed myself to be genderfluid around that time, mostly after my friend mentioned above came out as bi. While reading On a Sunbeam, which my profile pic is from, I realized I was nonbinary and identified as that for like a year. Then, with help from my therapist, I realized I was a trans man. Around this time, I read a book called Gender Queer, which introduced me to e/em pronouns, which I remember having a sort of spiritual awakening about lol. A few months ago, I altered that to being a pangender man to encapsulate how I’m always fully a man, but sometimes feel like I have some extra genders thrown in
Also going to throw in here that I learned about being aplatonic about a year ago while looking up other labels and immediately realized it was me. I personally count it as a queer label so uh yeah
I’ve kinda always known about queer people. My family is supportive and doesn’t have a reasoning to hide what it is. I also have some cool queer people in my extended family.
I think my awakening was in middle school when I had a crush on a girl (I had a lot of male crushes in the past) and told myself it was just a joke but bro it was not a joke. At that point I knew I was bi.
I use bi mainly because it’s a big umbrella term rather than much specifics that differentiate it from Omni or pan. (Gender does play a role in attraction for me tho)
I came out to my mom and a few friends the next year I think after a friend came out to me as bi. I came out to the rest of my family a bit later and they got me a bi keychain for my bag. (Fun fact I got in trouble at my high school for having that).
Later I thought I was demiaroace since I saw that people were really motivated to date people and I was mostly indifferent to it - I think now I would say I’m grey aroace but I haven’t really thought of it much recently.
As for gender, I’m a cis woman - I think the label of being a woman describes me rather than that label affecting my actions if that makes sense.
I use she/her/they - I don’t really like when people I’ve never talked to immediately assume im a girl. Idk it just rubs me the wrong way. I kinda want to try using they more often.
I think I first started thinking of myself as queer when I learned about transidentity through my sibling coming out as Enby when I wa in middle school and an online friend of mine being trans... I started to experiment with gender by going straight to she/they/he and trying variants.. tbh when puberty started hitting me I was soooo uncomfortable at the idea of becoming a "woman" lmao while being a "little girl" was fine cause it wasnt that different to a "little boy" to me (like... children dont really have much physical differences between male/female).
I think what really settled me as a transguy was in Highschool when I read homestuck and first met Karkat Vantas (which coincidently also made me realised I was probably mlm??), even tho in middle school I thought I was pan cause I felt the same attraction toward every person, regardless of their gender (turns out the attraction was of 0.01% and im just aro)... I also knew I was ace cause sex just disgusted me XD
I'll say gender-wise I'm demiboy/genderfaun aligned ? But usually I just go unlabelled... and I'm aroace mlm-aligned :)
Watching: the DND GIGGS stream at this very moment but the show I'm watching (and almost done with) is Empresses in the Palace, The Legend of Zhen Huan!
Obsessed With: Previously stated Empresses in the Palace, but also The Amazing Digital Circus and my own oc, as always
Reading: The Ballad Of Songbirds and Snakes
Currently Working On: I've been TRYING to write the next chapter of Hard Sell but it's now been a full week since I've written and I'm kicking myseeeeelf. But also I'm drawing my oc
Last Google Search: 7 pm BST to EST just to see when the GIGGS DND stream started
Masculine girl who's pink and wears pink and her room is pink but she's still undeniably masculine and gender non conforming and big and likes having longer hair and kicking ass and cussing and being gentle and kind and not taking shit and making her friends smile and taking up space and being empathic and teasing and being rude and caring and biting and not conforming and having hope and being herself.
Susie Deltarune, you are all I've ever wanted from a female character.
