🍉🍉🍉 | kiwi | 20 | she/him/whatever's funniest | ao3, bsky, th: kiwinatorwaffles | etsy: WafflebirdEmporium | SPOTIFY WRAPPED 2024 WITH 16,690 HERMITGANG PLAYS (done without sleep looping) | dick grayson and hero of legend and worm man #1 enthusiast
now that ive been using tumblr more why dont i make a real intro?
hi im kiwi and welcome to my blog!
i also go by fels/waffles and nathan/nate, but kiwi is generally preferred unless you already know someone named kiwi and need a way to distinguish.
i use both she/her and he/him pronouns, but honestly use whatever’s funniest. like call me bro if you want. my gender is The Bit. (but i only use gendered terms/honorifics)
i am a multifandom blog! but my main fandoms for now are hermitcraft + adjacent SMPs/evbo productions. i am an mcyt boy yes. i'm also hard fixated on team fortress 2 right now. i also post a lot about being aroace/aspec
and on the side there’s legend of zelda, ace attorney, undertale/deltarune and d&d/baldur's gate 3. also i never shut up about the loathing games so if youve played any of them.... put your fingers in my enclosure i wont bite i prommy
supporters of censorship are not welcome on my page. my art is not for fascists.
feel free to use my art for icons, banners, edits, dubs etc as long as you credit me.
i’m also a mod for @thelinkconvention (although i can’t check notifs very often) and i’m totally not a mod for @evilxdoodles but you should check it out wink wink nudge nudge
check out @wafflebirdemporium for updates on my etsy shop!
a lot of my art ideas and fics are co-written by my best friends and partners in crime @skyspersonalhell and @xylemblu :D
i try my best to write image descriptions for my art (which i put in the alt text) but i’m not always consistent :’] i appreciate any IDs people write for me!
VDHAU masterpost for those who want it!
for mcyt: please do not bring ship mentions to my page if i don't tag/specify it myself 👍 you can check under the cut for my more detailed boundary on ship discussion!
please do not bring discourse to my page. don’t make me tap the sign.
open up the cut for my tags, page content warnings, general boundaries/full shipping boundaries, and other socials!
my tags!
art- #kiwi’s scribbles
random thoughts- #kiwi’s calls
writing & headcanons- #orchard’s library
asks- #birdhouse inquiries
etsy store posts- #wafflebird emporium
homemade memes- #kiwi’s shitpost central
oc content- #kiwi’s ocs (individual stories are tagged with the "original story: __" and "fandom ocs: __" format but you can check out my toyhouse for more actual stuff)
a masterpost of silly misc tags on my page can also be found here!
IMPORTANT NOTICES FOR MY PAGE!
i might end up drawing possible triggering content! here are some things i draw:
blood, gore, and violence
dark and heavy material
general spooky content sometimes
gay people /j /j /j /j
my page also includes lots of swearing and all caps! if you dont like that then it probably isnt the best choice to follow me.
i filter any triggers with # ___ tw and keep in mind i do also use the #cursed tag for filtering those type of posts if you know what i’m saying just a heads up
i also use #ship filter tag in case you don't want to see any ship posts/art i make!
BOUNDARIES—
as for shipping: being romance-adverse and all, i usually don’t particularly enjoy ships myself (at least most “typical” interpretations), regardless of fandom. that being said there are still some i enjoy and will post about, but i tend to really aspec-ify and remove the romance from most ships i like. still especially for mcyt media, please do not take ship mentions to my page if i don’t mention/tag it myself 👍
there are certain ships i am really not comfortable with, so please don't take it personally if i block you for that reason
i have a separate sideblog for more risque ship and gorey content. i won't advertise it here, but if you find it, you can take discussions there.
as mentioned before, do not bring discourse topics onto my page! any asks or comments about discourse will be not be dignified with a response and promptly deleted!
if the discourse pertains to something i posted, then please do inform me! however, if you phrase it like a callout or discourse, i will be treating it as such and deleting it!
if you want to learn more about me, here’s my carrd! it includes other socials as well as a (kind of loose) byi.
i don’t have a dni because i think it is fundamentally a ridiculous concept to ban people from interacting with me, but i do block very liberally. please don't take it personally
IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE ART
i'm kind of on a hiatus on instagram but if you still want to check it out -- @ kiwinatorwaffles for my main and @ kiwisnotgay for my doodles/alt. you can check out my original characters in more depth on my toyhouse, which is also @ kiwinatorwaffles!
THANKS FOR READING! FEEL FREE TO CHAT OR SEND ME QUESTIONS!
are we getting blu team medic buddy pins 👀👀👀👀 thats so crazy literally two nights ago i was on etsy looking at the pins (i already got red medic bonesaw) and i was fr like "god i wish there were blu ones..."
YESSIR! the blu ones have been planned for over half a year now! i just had to wait until i could get home to have enough storage for the new stock and i still….. do not LMAO my drawers are literally bursting
but yes! i am aiming to publish the listing for the BLU medic buddies tomorrow! i’ve got everything ready, just have to push myself to make the promo posts haha
we have to thank our brave soldiers in fandom who write gen fics. we have to thank our brave soldiers in fandom who write character studies and stories with no focus on romance or sex. we have to get on our knees and thank the brave soldiers in fandom who write about minor characters and friendship and family with no focus on romance or sex. i know it’s hard to care about characters in a world that seems to only revolve around ships but i see you. and i love you
“man I love watching bg3 shorts on youtube it’s so— IS THAT MY TUMBLR MUTUAL KIWI??!?!”
Your art is so peak mootie <<<333 I was wondering if making a wild magic Tav that was anti-magic was a bit too much, but glad to know great minds have thought of it before /vpos
I thought I had to let you know about this small world incident. Have an awesome day, and stay winning ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊
AHAJAOAHSKAAWKHFKDDJ!!!?!?? i completely forgot i made that short its so funny that it jumpscared you BAHAHAHAHA
thank you thank you! anti magic wild magic sorcerer probably ended up being one of my favorite character ideas :> so glad you enjoyed my silly animatic !!!
I am not immune to the trope of "character overextends themselves in a bout of god-like power and immediately passes out afterwards".
Bonus points if they do a superhero landing and / or crack a one liner before collapsing.
Double bonus points if right before they collapse into a puddle the last thing they see is their friends / love interest sprinting towards them at high velocity.
UPDATE I'VE DONE TESTING AND I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT :D
So what I'm pretty sure grian has is *something* (eg pumpkin) that has the texture of BOTH a non enchanted netherite helmet and his cool eyes.
He has then enchanted that eg pumpkin and so swapping between a regular enchanted netherite helmet and his helmet+eyes gives the effect without anything noticeable being put on his head
also I went into Minecraft and checked, yep enchantment glint carries over no matter what headgear you switch to (linked here cause tumblr doesn't like videos in reblogs)
in his next vid hes gonna do it without the helmet and screw this all over
“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“
“Cave Johnson here. If you’re experiencing a time loop in which you’re repeating the month of June over and over, that’s totally intentional. We at Aperture Science felt that pride month was not long enough and so we created this loop to let employees experience as much pride as they feel like. To get out of this loop, simply use the pod labeled “Time Machine” in Shaft 6 and then either kill or save the baby on the other end depending on when in the loop you’re on. Don’t worry about the baby’s identity, he grows up to be an asshole.“
“Cave Johnson here, happy to announce that our Rainbow Gel project was a massive success. We have developed distinct gels in every color of the rainbow pride flag. In fact, it was too much of a success, so we’ll be updating our pride flag accordingly to include 75 new colors corresponding to all of our new gels. Word of advice, though, don’t stare at the flag for too long, most of these colors haven’t been tested on human eyes yet.”
“Cave Johnson here. Caroline just informed me that I am her “beard”. I checked, and I fail to see how I could possibly have grown out of her face. If anybody knows anything about human-to-facial hair transmogrification, please report to my office.”
“Cave Johnson here. Friendly reminder that Aperture employees living prior to the legalization of gay marriage are invited to use our Aperture Science Temporal Matrimony Pod in order to travel to the future with your same-sex partner and get married there. Employees from the future who wish to return to a time before gay people being able to marry are also welcome to use the pod and we’ll make sure to send you to an era well before gay marriage. I’m thinking maybe Late Cretacesous.”
“Cave Johnson here. I’m proud to announce that our plan to hire only female test subjects to prevent them from flirting with our female scientists has been a resounding failure.”
“Cave Johnson here. I’m afraid we’ll have to temporarily pause all experimentation with the Gender Affirmation Beam. The testing itself is going great, the beam is working. But we’re starting to run out of thigh high socks and khaki shorts.”
“Cave Johson here. Shafts 10 through 14 are currently under lockdown due to a meltdown in the Neopronoun Syntheizer. The transphobes up in DC might call that ‘a disaster in the making’ but I call it a win for diversity! That being said most of these pronouns are radioactive so do watch out.”
Cave Johnson here. If you feel a sudden sense of elation and contentness when putting on your new Aperture Science unisex uniform, that is not Gender Euphoria! That’s a hallucinogenic fungus taking over your brain. Take the uniform off immediately and throw it in the nearest incinerator.”
“Cave Johnson here. I won’t tolerate any misgendering of the interdimensional invaders swarming the facility! Their pronouns are they/them and we’re ought to respect that. We’re also ought to shoot them on sight since they’re extremely hostile and bent on enslaving our planet.”
“Cave Johnson here. To all of my suitors and secret admirers: Thank you, honestly I’m flattered. Unfortunately for you, I don’t swing that way. Or any way. I only swing where the wrecking ball of science takes me. Usually into a brick wall.”
“Cave Johnson here. I’ve been thinking. We have gay pride, and we have gender envy. What other deadly sins can we incorporate? Maybe bisexual sloth? Lesbian wrath? I’ll talk to the lab boys about it.”
“Cave Johnson here. Update: The Lesbian Wrath project is postponed indefinitely. My condolences to the families of the deceased. Though let’s be honest, they probably had it coming.”
“Cave Johnson here. For the last time! “I’m reclaiming the slur” is not a valid excuse to shout out loud the killer androids’ activation codes! We picked that word for a reason.“
“Cave Johnson here. I’d like to apologize to Floor 194 Safety Supervisor Doug Blakely for firing him after allegations that he was forcing employees back in the closet. I was not aware that said closet was a literal storage closet for zombified Aperture employees. To make it up to Doug, he’ll be allowed to feed Floor 194 HR Manager Lisa Briant to the closet zombies if he so chooses.”
”Cave Johnson here. A reminder that next year Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Extradimensional Day of Visibility. The lab boys are cautioning me to caution you to be prepared. Do not confuse transgender and transdimensional! Big mistake.“
“Cave Johnson here. To all cishet Aperture employees who volunteered for the ‘Get More Woke’ program, please report to your department’s OR at the nearest convenience to get the alarm clocks surgically removed from your spinal cord. Aperture Science apologizes for the misunderstanding.”
“Cave Johnson here. Dr. Barnaby from Cyborg Engineering is an attack helicopter. That’s not a transphobic joke, by the way, they literally transformed themselves into an amalgam of human and helicopter. Impressive. Unauthorized, of course, but still impressive. Anyway, we lost track of them, so everyone watch the sky for a mad scientist with blue rotors and machine guns.”
“Cave Johnson here. To the joker who added ‘make the sun gay’ to our quarterly agenda, I hope you’re pleased with yourself. The Astrophysics Department is tearing itself apart with half of them shouting that you can’t make the sun gay and the other half screaming that the sun is already gay. Either way, we’re not doing it.”
“Cave Johnson here. The congressional delegation of Senator Patrick Johnson (no relation) to inspect our facilities had to be cut short due to a mishap with the Gender Affirmation Beam. I’d like to apologize on behalf of Aperture Science to Senator Johnson and her staff.”
“Cave Johnson here. Just the other day, our sign guy asked me ‘Cave, don’t you think LGBTQIA2S+ is a tad too long?’ and I told him ‘First of all, that’s Mr. Johnson to you! And secondly, I actually think it’s not long enough!’ and that’s why I’m adding an ’&’ to the acronym. Don’t know what it stands for yet, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Cave Johnson here. You already know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about gender affirming care. We’ve been at the forefront of hormone replacement therapy since before we knew what these hormones do. You also know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about not getting sued. So everyone be quiet about our role in the Estrogen Cola disaster.”
“Cave Johnson here. So far, we received 832 submissions to our Homophobia Remover design competition. Unfortunately, 829 had to be disqualified for being a schematic of a gun. Objectively hilarious, but not what we’re looking for. Wait, the lab boys just got another submission: and… it’s another gun. Keep at it, folks.”
“Cave Johnson here. Using a set of genetically identical triplets and a molecular combinizer, we just proved scientifically that being bisexual isn’t the same as being half-straight and half-gay. Now we just need to figure out how to separate Craigstopher back into his component brothers.”
playing mostly indie games really spoils u in some ways. what do you mean tomodachi life costs 60 american dollars. resident evil 9 is 70 dollars for 18 hours of gameplay? that's like 25% of silksong for 350% of the price. how do people live like this
