Sam

They/Them Slytherin/Buddhist/19 years/Fangirl

[ladyfl4me]

not to be fake deep about Minecraft on main but. anyone else ever get the feeling that Minecraft is a post-post-apocalyptic sort of world that, with each update, is starting to heal? we start with skeletons and zombies and giant spiders and weird mutated things, but life slowly returns - scary things live in the ocean, yes, but coral reefs came back, diverse fish populations returned, there are dolphins and squids and stuff. in 1.16 the nether goes from a blighted hellscape to still terrifying, but a place that can sustain life. there's new types of trees, animals, flowers, bees were added. basically the Minecraft game universe feels like a place that, with each update, is healing from something terrible, and that's just neat

[gahdamnpunk]

This and Studio Ghibli sending a katana with a note that said “no cuts” to Weinstein when he was handling the distribution of Princess Mononoke are now my two favorite movie anecdotes

[gahdamnpunk]

This and Studio Ghibli sending a katana with a note that said “no cuts” to Weinstein when he was handling the distribution of Princess Mononoke are now my two favorite movie anecdotes

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

random things my professors have said starters (pt. 2)

More out of context quotes from my college professors. Enjoy and feel free to make any changes ! Part one here: x

“You are a beautiful field of flowers.”

“My daughter wrote, ‘I’m going to wear a choker every day of the year’.”

“I don’t think he has a soul.”

“Boobs.”

“Wait, I’m still talking!”

“You shouldn’t be laughing, __. It’s not cool.”

“*imitating crying*”

“My voice is usually more silky and smooth.”

“And fuck.”

“That gets me here *pats heart*.”

“My teachers hated me.”

“When you’re home in bed, I’m thinking of you…that sounds creepy.”

“Why are we here?”

“I’m like a TED Talk guy.”

“*sticks up middle finger*”

“Why don’t you hit a kegger this weekend?”

“I don’t know what I’m going to say half the time.”

“UGH! Go to bed.”

“You know the scientific method? Good. I’m gonna go over it anyway.”

“Like if you have a scarecrow fetish.”

“My handwriting is bad because I don’t have time for this.”

“Dogs have little minds.”

“It’s gangster.”

“I don’t want to know what Freud would say.”

“What are you doing?”

“*laughing* French.”

“It looks like he’s smoking a blunt, but he’s not.”

“How is the pizza in the vending machine?”

“*face palm*”

“I’m a Mets fan. There’ll be no talk of Yankees in this room.”

“My grandmother told me, ‘marriage is a business’.”

“I was a wild kid out on the streets.”

“Don’t say weird things at a kids’ soccer game.”

“Uhm, try harder.”

“I must be a demigod.”

“The journey doesn’t end as an adult.”

“You see what happens when you get too comfortable…you die.”

“F…U…C…”

“Either marry the right guy or I’ll kill you.”

“*haughtily* This is my playlist.”

“I can’t believe I’m gonna draw this out.”

“Have you seen Black Panther?”

“And then you’re like the guy from Moana, ‘you’re welcome’!”

“They’re on the moon, diggin’ for gold.”

“She lightly stabbed him.”

“We like to do things like that. ‘Cause they’re cool.”

“Nobody likes a smartass.”

“Don’t write down ‘brain=garbage disposal’.”

“It was only $2.”

“You want the chips, you see the chips. You can’t get to the chips.”

“Oh look, there’s a bear. Let’s go.”

“You could picture my dog flying around the city with a cape.”

“We’ll get back to Beyonce in a second.”

Were you sitting over there before?”

“Why are you so upset? Chill out.”

“That’s ageist.”

“Who brought me here? What’s happening?”

“That’s why people drink alcohol.”

“I’m not enforcing alcohol.”

“Hey, Snow Princess.”

“EAT YOUR PEAS!”

“EAT YOUR OATMEAL!”

“I don’t care if you’re not happy.”

“Do you know the song…Gucci Gang?”

“You’re never going to beat me at Scrabble, no matter how long you live.”

“There’s no way I’m gonna die.”

“My dog is 14.”

“Hey, let’s make sure there are no adults around so we can really get into these books.”

“I’m too short.”

“Deal with your own shit.”

“I said I was gonna do it so I’m gonna do it.”

“What do they want?”

“You have to tell me if I’m talking crazy.”

“CHALK.”

[crow--teeth]

college students in movies: I’m passing all my classes with As and I have a job that pays enough for my housing and classes at the same time with very little stress

real college students: I haven’t slept in three days, my term paper is due in 30 minutes, I’ve eaten nothing but saltines for the past year and might actually have scurvy, and I cried this morning because I don’t know how to start the washing machine

[movemequotes]

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

[lynati]

…

[bogleech]

I hate that I hesitated to reblog this just because I expect people to think it’s pretentious or melodramatic when it’s seriously real as fuck and I’ve witnessed it

[fartsandprayers]

This is what happened to me. I was young, first grade. 

All the other kids have one teacher, while I had two, though I was in the same class. I took recess by myself. When the other’s took recess, I was constantly quizzed by my second teacher and shown how to color properly because ‘You don’t want your pictures to look like theirs, do you?’ I just wanted to color. 

When I was allowed to participate with the rest of the class, I felt odd. “How fast does the earth move?” The main teacher asked. “100 miles an hour!” “One bajillion miles a hour!” I raised my hand. “Yes?” I swallowed and smiled. “I think it’s closer to 100,000 kilometers per hour.” I didn’t guess, I stated a fact. I was happy. And proud. Because I knew the answer. But somehow, when the teacher said ‘That’s correct’, it was with a large amount of disappointment and odd looks from the other kids. What had I done wrong? I didn’t answer questions anymore.

When I was in the class with my second teacher, we did reading flash cards. “What does this say?” “Government.” She frowned. “And just how do you know that?” I answered as simply as I could. “It doesn’t sound like it’s spelled. It has ‘Govern’ like the governor, and it has ‘ment’ that rhymes vent which is what’s above us! Government!” “That’s not how you learn words, you need to remember how to spell them. Try the next one.” Why did it matter? I remembered and could read it. So I had to learn the ‘correct’ way to spell and read.

So on and so on until 5th grade, when I was falling behind all the other students and was told to try harder and pay attention. ‘Show your work or it counts against you.’ But I didn’t have any work to show… 45 X 3 just is 135. What work was I supposed to show when something was a fact? So I had to relearn math so my teacher didn’t flunk me out.

This has followed me into adulthood. “Think outside the box.” I can’t. There is a small area outside the box I am allowed and no further. That is what I have been taught. When someone wants something from you in this way, they want to know where it came from and for it to match their ideals… not something they can’t understand or want to consider. And there is always a right answer, even if you are just coming up with ideas.

“Do you have any ideas on this matter?” My boss asks. I shrug. “It’s not something for me weigh in on, that’s beyond my area.”

You broke me. You broke thousands of kids who could have been the new Tesla, Curie, or Einstein. And you wonder why new ideas aren’t new? Because you told us, at a very early age, that a new idea must already conform to what you understand and are comfortable with. 

[mrmcweasel]

Let’s think about how much more advanced we would be as a society if our school systems didn’t break kids.

[okay-j-hannah]

Been Engaged

Smosh

Damien x Reader

Word Count: 2054

Warnings: This just took a turn I was not expecting 😂 reader is a shy thing but their love is so pure… 

surprisingly with a shy reader this fic tilted more towards poor Shayne’s sanity ❤

Request: “Hey! I don’t know if you have already seen the new “who knows me best” video but can I request a Damien x reader where it’s work boyfriend vs real life girlfriend where Damien is testing Shayne and the reader? Thank you in advance if you write it!” @star-mum​

A/N: It’s Real Girlfriend vs Work Boyfriend as Damien sits in the hot seat with the biggest bombshell question to make any viewer instantly quake in their seats

“Hello ev-er-y-bo-dy!” Damien stated, enunciating every syllable with a different tone. “You better believe in how excited I am to be sitting in this chair. On last episode of Who Knows Me Best, we had Shayne on the throne with Courtney and I.”

“And you failed as a best friend,” Shayne plainly stated, immediately erupting into laughs at his own joke.

Damien smacked a hand onto his thigh, resting it there, “You really know how to set the mood for a game, Shayne.” He faced the other side of the table where (Y/N) sat beside Shayne, a nervous edge to her stance.

“And now it is my turn to perch the stool of royalty…” (Y/N) couldn’t help but giggle, making Damien flicker his eyes towards her, “… and set my Work Boyfriend and Real Girlfriend in the ultimate battle of who deserves my true love. It’s (Y/N).”

Keep reading

[memescomedy]

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

there were better ways to do this. those signs do come off

[neonprotagonist]

they actually grow back when you try to do that though. like lizard tails.

[turninghoziest]

I know I know, there are too many posts about 2020.

But lads. I‘m proud of you, you’re all still here. You made it this far, even though you thought you might not. And don’t stress yourself about the things you didn’t achieve. It’s okay just to exist because sometimes that’s the biggest achievement of all.

You’re strong and I‘m so proud of you for that.🖤

[bering-strait-deactivated202005]

the world is a better place with trans women in it. trans women are valuable and important members of our communities. trans women deserve safety and protection and love.

[falloutscream]

this may be a shot in the dark, but is anyone looking to start a DND group?

[missnothingquotes]

Me after bleaching the shit out of my hair:

[andr0medaas]

let’s raise a glass for everyone who will be spending Thanksgiving alone, who has a complex family situation, a long distances one, or no “real” family to have dinner with this thursday - you are loved. make this day your own, make this holiday your own.

[shante-erika]

Aight so, I have never been a fan of the movie Home Alone because I just really didn’t feel like it was realistic. Like how the hell y'all make it all the way through TSA & board the plan before yall realize ya son missing. Well, yesterday while my little cousins were taking 8 years to get ready so my fam could go to the arcade, I fell asleep up stairs while i was charging my phone. I clean woke up to a dark and empty ass house. I called my cousin like “why yall leave me 😒” and she literally gasped hard as fuck and was like “Shanté” just like the momma on the Movie. I was blew. But now I understand. Whole damn family smh.

[worthlessghost-deactivated20210]

This is for Anyone who struggles through the holidays

The holidays can be a tough time of the year for some people, we struggle to find the happiness and the cheer in these months while everyone around us seems so filled with joy. I’m here to tell you, you’re not alone. You are not alone in this fight, it’s okay to feel sad, it’s okay to struggle, don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed or make you feel guilty for feeling sad during this time, because they don’t understand what it’s like to carry the weight of this pain on our shoulders. Depression is even tougher around the holidays, but i believe in every single one of you, i have your back, i’m by your side, everything is going to be okay, and we will all get through this. Stay safe everyone, love to all of you who don’t have that this holiday season, this one’s for you guys

[deeplifequotes]

The holidays can make many people feel isolated and very alone. Know that you are loved and supported even if it doesn’t feel that way.

Bri Luna (via deeplifequotes)

[depresseddisneyprincess]