MARK WATNEY MEMORIAL CRATER

THE WORLD LOOKS BRIGHTEST WHEN VIEWED WITH THE DARKEST SENSE OF HUMOR

[atomic-chronoscaph]

Kyle MacLachlan as Paul Atreides - Dune (1984)

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

His fit with the nipple windows was better

[orbitingrook]

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you have won a lifetime supply of this

How do you feel?

good!

I CAN SELL THIS AND GET RICH

im drowning in my supply help

Eh it's okay

BAD. VERY BAD

results/other

Remaining time: 4 days 8 hours

you would receive the supply once a month

the brand/type will vary so you could

you can sell the things you get/give them away but they will keep coming until you die

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

Plant seeds.

I can sell them and get rich until Mon Santos sues my ass to hell for daring to make them participate in a free market

[theunfairfolk]

in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.

i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.

[theunfairfolk]

important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".

[avoidbeing]

An obsidian mirror found at Catalhoyuk, 8,000 years old

[old-flesh]

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

[grimeclown]

Cmon man

[cbk1000]

So, I lurk in some writer subreddits, and a frequent topic of discussion is prose: what constitutes good prose, how do you write it, how do you improve it, etc. And yesterday I stumbled across one topic about the difference between good descriptive prose, and purple prose. OP asks people to share some of their favourite authors who they think write beautiful prose without tipping into purple. No problem; people are happy to oblige.

One person says that Steinbeck is one of their favourite authors for prose, and then they share an example of what they would consider purple prose. It is so violetly awful that I think the poster must have written it themselves as a kind of parody of purple prose. Other people assumed the same.

But as it turns out, they are quoting from a book written by a YouTuber whose channel ia dedicated to talking about writing (namely, their own writing, which is genius, but often not comprehensible to the drooling plebs).

Naturally, I read the free sample of their book in awe and horror, and I'd like to share some screenshots with you. If you also have trouble defining or understanding what purple prose is, it's this.

Yes, every single fucking page is written like this.

[cbk1000]

Reading some more of the preview for this book, and I realise this is by far not the biggest problem, but I'm begging this guy to just use 'shadow' instead of 'umbra'. I promise I will not accuse you of being a philistine.

[cbk1000]

'Noctilucent orbs'. Even fanfic written by a 14-year-old wouldn't dare.

The author is a man in his 30s, btw.

[the-pen-pot]

*throws this in the face of everyone who has ever accused me of writing purple prose*

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

They get so lost in their purple prose and metaphor, I have no idea what they are even trying to describe.

[amanitaphalloides]

I worry a little bit that people who refuse to learn about ai as a part of their anti ai position are going to be extremely unprepared to understand what’s actually scary about it and already have their digital literacy at risk tbh

[amanitaphalloides]

not that I am some genius in this regard but if you follow ai developments even slightly you might change the things you are most worried about. do people know the extent to which ai is already eating itself and how meaningless this is making swaths of the internet. do people know that there are plenty of random mid-sized companies today buying their employees’ likenesses to create digital clones and using these to make hundreds of videos. I am so much more worried about labor and surveillance and abuse than people becoming lazy about writing emails. and idk man I sort of like and respect people who are willfully ignorant about it as a way of minimizing its force in their lives and I am in some ways jealous but also when I see posts that basically still boil down to “chatgpt will never fool me” I am like 😭😭😭 for one thing not the only thing to be concerned about, for another thing I am really sorry but I don’t think you’re right

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

Sci fi show where spaceships always seem to align themselves in the same “up” orientation. But like 3 seasons in we find out one alien has just been getting is wrong this whole time

[hotvampireadjacent]

Um

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

That can’t be sanitary

[dughole]

i wish he would come down from heaven & kill every instagram fitness liquid diet ozempic green juice low calorie food blogger

[deadpowol]

[tahthetrickster]

[b0tster]

sorry everyone, i think the new piss on the poor website is now bluesky

(confirmed not joking)

[secretboldy]

Wait you’re a white guy named Brian who is into pup play omg it’s just like family guy

[that-twink-over-there]

[beemovieerotica]

someone on reddit shared texts of her and her husband's exclusive english dialect and it's beautiful

[beemovieerotica]

a linguist is analyzing it

[mrsterlingeverything]

Sad they slut down club pangolin :/ we used to fuck that icebert to pieces

[hotvampireadjacent]

Club penguin. They were penguins.

[mrsterlingeverything]

Im too drunk to read.. what does this say

[hotvampireadjacent]

[mrsterlingeverything]

God i miss him so much

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

It’s seals that they club

[sreegs]

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

They are just pumping blood through a corpse at this point. Aren’t they?

[helenvaughans]

[helenvaughans]

the thing is that for all its supposed faults, i would take this brand of 90s utopian globalism over whatever the fuck we’ve been doing for the last 10 years in a heartbeat

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

I feel that social awareness and progress really started to slip backwards when the messages stopped being “we are all humans of equal value despite our differences”

And became “these people are deserving of better treatment because they are more marginalized”

The latter has lead to a race to the bottom mentality where some people feel they need to justify their position by citing an ever increasing list of marginalized groups they are apart of in a bid to earn respect. And then an active disrespect of people who aren’t deemed marginalized enough.

I believe someone should be respected because they are human and based on their actions. Not based on their race, disability, or other group they are in. And if you behave poorly, you lose all my respect above the baseline “you are a human and therefore deserve to live with basic dignity”