Voice of the Empire

[falsecantus-blog]

I... really need to get this blog off hiatus again holy shit. It’s been a hot minute. I think there’s a foot of dust on her.

[falsecantus-blog]

Let’s talk some shop. It’s going under a cut because of content and length.

(TW/CW: Medical Conditions, Tests, Hospitals, Illnesses, etc. Just being open about myself and my state.)

My Muse has been a bit MIA lately after my last round of doctors appointments, testing, poking, prodding, procedures, etc. It’s exhausting to keep up with anywhere between 2 - 4 and sometimes even 5 appointments a week. If I’m lucky, they’re staggered one a day, but sometimes I’m racing from one appointment to another, and it’s really starting to wear on my body.

And it’s just going downhill from here.

When last you heard from me, I had just had an endometrial ablation. The great news about that is I have my two-week post op check-up regarding that appointment next week. The same day of the appointment I stopped even spot-bleeding, which is pretty rare -- most patient’s continue needing something to catch blood for a few days. I had nothing. I didn’t even need the pain pills they prescribed me after the initial exit from the hospital (and, tbh, I used what I had on hand while I waited on the local pharmacy to fill. By the time I got home and had napped on my heating pad the pain was gone and never came back, so.... Free painkillers for the *rest* of my body). This will potentially fix my endometriosis since it was caught before it could spread outside of the uterus, and *will* eliminate my chronic endometritis. It may even help my dysmenorrhea problems depending on how much of my period this prevents.

What I failed to mention was days before that, I met and had seven vials of blood taken from my new Allergist/Pulmonologist/Immunologist. He is the same one my father uses for his CVID, so he’s a goodie. He sent the blood away to begin evaluating me for a myriad of problems, and the results have been trickling in day by day.

Most recently, we received the results of testing for how my immune system worked with my pneumonia vaccine that I had a month ago. Nice, fresh, should be producing /great/. In a immune-responsive system, the 23 serotonin strains will produce positive results in at least 50% or more (ie; 11.5 of the serotonins or more will react with positive results). 

I failed. Only 9 of mine reacted. 14 of mine failed. This is even more distressing for someone who just had a fresh vaccine and their body should have gotten a huge boost from it. This means my chances of an immunodeficiency disorder increased to 80-90%. The chances of it being my father’s increased to over 50%. I won’t even get into lifespands because I don’t want to think about it, but it’s. Not good, we’ll just leave it there.

Yesterday, I also went and had my gastric emptying study done to test for gastroparesis to explain my malnutrition issues, vomiting, etc. This too I basically “failed,” increasing my chances of that by 60%. If it is a worst case, I could be issued a feeding tube if I am unresponsive to medication, or too intolerant. 

Combine this with my thyroid nodules continuing to grow and the chances of them being cancerous, and my bloodwork worsening... and a UTI that did not clear up through antibiotics (that I never felt -- I didn’t know I had one until the hospital called me in a panic the next day because it was that bad) and actually got worse and evolved into a full-blown bladder infection (that I still didn’t feel and I’m being re-tested on Friday regarding to see if it got worse...)...

My muse is low, I’m low, and it’s taking me quite a bit to recover from this one. I’m quite exhausted all the time, so writing is taking quite a hit while I’m trying to sort all of this out.

I’m sorry for the delay, everyone. <3

[falsecantus-blog]

You may have noticed that I’ve been a little bit quiet. Sorry about that. I have recently been swamped with some very surprise fast-schedule appointments with doctors, ER visits, and my body just being itself.

Y’know. The usual territory that I roll with.

But I wanted to make a post to let everyone know two things:

First off – I am located in North Carolina. For those of you watching the news, you know what that means. Me and a hurricane could be making friends. Chances are since Florence has gone and veered lower, all that I’ll really get out of her is a lot of rain, but that could still be enough in my area to cause massive disturbances in our soil due to the constant rain and damp soil we already have. Most of my area exists on clay-deposits, which doesn’t absorb water well. It just…erodes, so land slides become common. This means downed trees and power lines, and I could go dark for anywhere between 24 hours to upwards of a week while that gets fixed (remember last year when that tornado hit us? I was gone for a week, so it would be like that again).

Secondly – I go in for another hospital procedure tomorrow. While I did really well with the one last week, this one is significantly more traumatizing on the body. I stand a 50/50 chance of admittance, and if so I’ll be even more quiet, obviously.

So. Uh. Basically, I’m here, but I’m mostly only on Discord. Grab me there to talk to me at any time. <3 I’m always up for a good conversation if I have the time. I’ll update as I know things.

[falsecantus-blog]

Lived again, binches.

[falsecantus-blog]

You may have noticed that I’ve been a little bit quiet. Sorry about that. I have recently been swamped with some very surprise fast-schedule appointments with doctors, ER visits, and my body just being itself.

Y’know. The usual territory that I roll with.

But I wanted to make a post to let everyone know two things:

First off -- I am located in North Carolina. For those of you watching the news, you know what that means. Me and a hurricane could be making friends. Chances are since Florence has gone and veered lower, all that I’ll really get out of her is a lot of rain, but that could still be enough in my area to cause massive disturbances in our soil due to the constant rain and damp soil we already have. Most of my area exists on clay-deposits, which doesn’t absorb water well. It just. . .erodes, so land slides become common. This means downed trees and power lines, and I could go dark for anywhere between 24 hours to upwards of a week while that gets fixed (remember last year when that tornado hit us? I was gone for a week, so it would be like that again).

Secondly -- I go in for another hospital procedure tomorrow. While I did really well with the one last week, this one is significantly more traumatizing on the body. I stand a 50/50 chance of admittance, and if so I’ll be even more quiet, obviously.

So. Uh. Basically, I’m here, but I’m mostly only on Discord. Grab me there to talk to me at any time. <3 I’m always up for a good conversation if I have the time. I’ll update as I know things.

[falsecantus-blog]

cairis-in-the-field replied to your post: Heart symbol thing for Tag?

I find it hilarious that EVERYONE uses the “sassy lost child” gif for Tag.

Tag embodies “sassy lost child.” He will eviscerate you with words.

Or just push you off your hoverboard if you happen to be Morvok.

[falsecantus-blog]

Heart symbol thing for Tag?

Send me a “ 💞 “ and I post a gif showing my muses feeling towards yours. | Accepting!

She hasn’t had a lot of encounters with Tag herself, but boy has she heard the stories. She’s also moderately intimidated that the vent gremlin may know her secrets and infiltrate said information back to Throk. This is a consistent worry in the back of her mind, and has led to her considering blocking all vents in her private quarters so her not-crush can never be revealed.

[falsecantus-blog]

💞 for ziikya ofc!

Send me a “ 💞 “ and I post a gif showing my muses feeling towards yours.| Accepting!

She is enthralled by him -- his good, his bad, his everything -- and she still doesn’t know how it ever got this far. She hates to see him hurt, and wants nothing more than to be there for him during his worst moments. Valoren would honestly love nothing more than helping him orchestrate his freedom from what she sees as his captivity and then letting him live the life that he chooses.

No matter what: she reminds him she is there. She will always be there. It started as a stunt, but now they are too far gone, and she’s lost in it with him.

[meme-cafe]

Send me a “ 💞 “ and I post a gif showing my muses feeling towards yours.

[falsecantus-blog]

Might not be very active for the next day or two, depending on how today goes. I’m getting ready to go in for my Endoscopy and Colonoscopy procedure and – as we have all learned – my body is anything but predictable. I could either recover as expected (”Most patients spend three hours recovering with us after one procedure, ma’am, a bit longer for both. Your case is… unique.”) or I could respond terribly and spend a night in hospital.

You just never know with me.

Regardless, I’m warned that the sedative I’ll be on might make me say some really stupid things, and there are promises of recordings of that in the event that I do. You have my wonderful fiance’ to thank for that, because he oh-so-loves blackmail.

I’m nervous, but not scared. Just typical pre-procedure jitters at this point. And really hungry.

(also if my icon looks like Ryo is very uncomfortable from behind, you better bet that was intentional with what my day is gonna be like, lmao)

[falsecantus-blog]

Update: Took awhile to finally update, but I napped when I came home because propofol is one heck of a drug, let me tell you. Works like a charm -- barely had it started and I was out like a light. Details under cut (CW/TW: Medical/Hospital discussions).

In short: everything went amazingly. My body actually behaved phenomenally, and I attribute this 100% to the team that worked with me. I had a saline drip from the start that had me feeling stable prior to the procedure, and they kept me on it during the entire run, then for a tiny bit during recovery to allow my POTS to stay under control. The team was very knowledgeable about my condition and knew what to look for, monitored accordingly during the procedure, and kept me well within bounds.

I have no form of internal bleeding, and no inflammation or ulcers that were mentioned post-procedure. This is both relieving and disconcerting: it potentially rules out most forms of inflammatory bowel disease, which is great (or I could be in a remission stage, which is less great), but the fact that my GI doctor explicitly stated that everything “looked good” indicates to me that we’re probably not dealing with too much there. He took numerous biopsies from upper and lower to be sent off, and I’ll have those results back within a week.

This leads us closer in the direction of gastroparesis, which we were hoping to avoid. It may yet be other issues attributing to my illness -- and I’m seeing an immunologist on Monday to get started on that front -- but this is a top candidate. Damn. 

All in all, I once I was finished being prepped, I was taken back, done, and released within an hour. I have no side effects that we have noticed, and was sitting up as soon as I was woken from sedation (and pissed that I was awake because I was having a good dream, dang it). This is uncommon behaviour, according to the nursing staff. I’m glad my uncommon was a nice uncommon for once, lmao.

So I’m home, comfortable, and took a nap because propofol will knock you on your ass and getting to eat for the first time in over 24 hours exhausts your body too. But I’m doing great. <3

[falsecantus-blog]

Might not be very active for the next day or two, depending on how today goes. I’m getting ready to go in for my Endoscopy and Colonoscopy procedure and -- as we have all learned -- my body is anything but predictable. I could either recover as expected (”Most patients spend three hours recovering with us after one procedure, ma’am, a bit longer for both. Your case is... unique.”) or I could respond terribly and spend a night in hospital.

You just never know with me.

Regardless, I’m warned that the sedative I’ll be on might make me say some really stupid things, and there are promises of recordings of that in the event that I do. You have my wonderful fiance’ to thank for that, because he oh-so-loves blackmail.

I’m nervous, but not scared. Just typical pre-procedure jitters at this point. And really hungry.

(also if my icon looks like Ryo is very uncomfortable from behind, you better bet that was intentional with what my day is gonna be like, lmao)

[scallywxg-deactivated20181031]

@falsecantus​

Soft

[falsecantus-blog]

How often do you use earbuds or headphones? And showers or baths?

Munday Asks (Tuesday Edition because I’m late) | Accepting

高: How often do you use headphones/earbuds?

Pretty often. I can’t use earbuds, though – they hurt my ears, and the wavelengths from the sound traveling directly into my canal actually makes my eyes tear up and start crying. Which sounds kinda silly, but its true? It’s also a nightmare to find one’s that fit my ears, which seem to be sized wrong or something, lmao. So I just gave up and use my red “MONSTER” headphones that I’m in love with and refuse to throw out even though they are held together with duct tape at this point.

Pretty much, unless I want someone else to hear my music or I’m in the car, my headphones are on.

♞: Showers or baths?

I don’t actually get an option on this one: baths. I used to prefer them anyway because, hey, who doesn’t love being surrounded by warm water and maybe bubbles and aromatherapy oil? But now with my POTS, if I take a shower, I can actually pass out in the shower and risk hitting my head or something.

So basically: showers become potentially deadly for me, so I’m only allowed baths, and even these are supervised by my fiance’ in the event that I pass out from the heat, oops

I’d still pick baths, though. Because fuck yeah baths.

[falsecantus-blog]

♪: Do you find yourself singing or humming to yourself sometimes? ☁: Ever wanted to learn a foreign language?

Munday Asks (Tuesday Edition because I’m late) | Accepting

♪: Do you find yourself singing or humming to yourself sometimes? 

Often. It’s a bit of a stimming thing for me to hum, so I’ll do that a lot when I’m alone or when some of my other nervous tics are really inappropriate, but that one is more acceptable? Singing I only do with music and by myself -- I never sing in front of others after my aunt traumatized me as a child. I used to love singing and was told I was good at it (not, like, next hit singer good, but I have a Broadway-type singing voice), but I was singing in her car to a song I really loved and she screamed at me that I was never to sing louder than the music, and that my voice shouldn’t be heard anyway.

I stopped singing that day in front of others. Even my fiance’ can barely get me to do it on the rare occasion.

☁: Ever wanted to learn a foreign language?

I actually had Spanish from Kindergarten through High School -- weekly until High School, and then I took two semesters in High School. It wasn’t a language I was interested in, it just happened to be something I retained because my young brain soaked it up in elementary from our teacher, who had just become a citizen. It was an interesting process, looking back, and completely unheard of in southern states.

I took a semester of German and fell in love. I now speak an okay amount of German, but not enough to really get by, so I would like to perfect my skills in that. And for my novels, it would be really handy to learn Irish, but fucking hell if that isn’t a cluster of a language. Still: goals.

[sphinxmemesmusings]

Oh, wow. It's Munday already. Put some of these in my askbox and I'll respond OOC.

ᄏ: Play any instruments?

ω: Have you ever dyed your hair? If so, what color(s)?

△: Have you ever painted the walls of your room?

【・ヘ・?】: Ever tripped in front a bunch of people?

＊: When was the last time you tied your hair up? (if your hair is long enough)

旦: Last time you drove your car (if you can drive/have one)?

愛: Are you currently dating?

太: When it’s New Year’s, do you make New Year Resolutions and actually commit to them?

＠: Ever felt attracted to the opposite sex before?

空: Did you ever throw up after one roller coaster ride or a few?

☆: Have you ever played games such as ‘Spin the Bottle’?

⊙: Are you happy with where you are in life right now?

ピ: Did you like Pokemon as a child?

♪: Do you find yourself singing or humming to yourself sometimes?

☁: Ever wanted to learn a foreign language?

ス: Have you ever swallowed gum?

⅚: Post the link if your current favorite song.

ღ: Post a gif of what you’re currently feeling right now.

≘: Have you ever watched the sun rise?

☄: Would you defend a friend if they were in danger?

➍: Ever been to a concert? Was it fun?

♛: Do you like group projects?

高: How often do you use headphones/earbuds?

ಲ: Headphones or earbuds?

♞: Showers or baths?

✗: Walks on the beach or in a forest?

⊙﹏⊙: Which horror movie scared you the most? If any?

^∇^: Has your best friend ever made you angry?

（．＿．）: Do you think you are an awkward person?

メ: Cupcakes or muffins?

♯: Would you like to be able to fly?

ℝ: What color shirt are you currently wearing?

Æ: What color underwear did you wear yesterday?

☪: Have you ever flipped off someone?

♬: Cats or dogs?

礼: Would you swim in the lake or ocean?

の: Chocolate or Vanilla?

◐: Have you ever seen a meteor shower?

ᄇ: Have you ever broken a bone?

ℨ: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

♔: Know the Duck Song? The Llama Song? Banana Phone?

۞: What shows did you watch when you were a child?

▼: Could you live without the internet?

Д: Strangest food you’ve eaten?

까: Cookies or brownies?

[nefariouslycrafted-archive]

✲ RIP Val — Have fun, Nakul. 😘

Kiss Drabbles for shits and giggles - (Gimme)

(Rando) ✿ for a playful turned possessive kiss

    It’s somewhere between a few glasses of something strong that it happens. A touch turns to a caress, moving closer until she can smell the alcohol on the other’s breath, something her hazy mind only just picks up on before Valoren moves to peck her nose.

    The kiss is short and chaste, following by a bubbling bell-like ringing of giggles escaping her chest, leaving Nakul in a rare moment of speechlessness. The pecks continue, across the planes of their cheeks, down their jaw, a few less innocent ones to the pulse of Valoren’s neck, lingering ones at the corner of her own mouth; until something silent passes between them, a moment of hesitation before Valoren is leaning in, capturing her lips in a searing kiss that doesn’t abate in its intensity as the seconds tick by.

    Nakul’s brow furrows, eyes still screwed shut, but she doesn’t pull away from the embrace, quite the contrary, her hands curve to cup both sides of Valoren’s face with an unexpected level of gentleness. Her lips are soft and firm over the other’s, sliding and pressing with calculated care, measuring her reaction in every moment as she explores the soft dips of her mouth.

    The tips of Valoren’s claws prick and drag against her back, smoothing over her waist as she responds, both of their heads angling simultaneously to deepen this… whatever this is. Truly, Nakul herself didn’t know what came over her, nor why she was letting it continue. She could only focus on the warmth of her closeness, utterly lost in the sensation of the moment. Slender arms tighten to form a cage that only draw the Commander closer, paired with a soft sound from the back of Valoren’s throat, egging her onwards.

    Lips break for quick greedy pants of air before diving in for another kiss, Nakul’s hand sliding to the back of her neck, threading in the mess of long locks, anchoring her there as she presses closer still, a rough growl staining her breath as the urgency increases, becoming slightly more bold as the other meets her again and again.

    Needle-like teeth carefully toy with Valoren’s bottom lip, giving an experimental drag that leaves them flushed, accompanied by a tiny bead of blood that’s quickly lapped up by a sweep of her tongue.

    She very nearly delves back in before catching herself, wrenching away with a snarl on her breath; this was not how she behaved, giving in to passing whims, and certainly not getting so caught up in them. Nakul licks her lips, still tasting her, her blood, the sweet flavor of her lipstick, and eyes the woman across from her, equally attempting to catch her breath, lips swollen and cheeks flushed from the outburst.

    She was…beautiful.

        No.

            No.

    Nakul sighs, peeling herself away with a deep scowl marring her features.

    “ Stop this. You’re drunk. We both are. I…I can’t. ”

[scallywxg-deactivated20181031]

@falsecantus

I’m sure he’d give his own if he could.

[everythingfox]

me in the kitchen at 1 am