The Heart of a Fangirl

May ● 28 ● Stuck-On-Pages-State-Of-Mind ● The places I wanna go doesn't exist.

[you-askedforthis]

I wish Peeta Mellark knew how much space he occupies in Katniss Everdeen’s mind…

Does he know how obsessed she is??? Does he know he’s all she can think about?? Does he know the effect his kisses have on her??? Does he know he doesn’t have much competition anywhere??

[wikitpowers]

funniest shit ever istg 😭😭😭😭😭

[you-askedforthis]

Peeta knew what a terrible liar Katniss was but he still believed she didn’t love him.

[witchlingcirce]

Dru is gonna tell Julian she’s dating Sebastian Morgensterns son and Julian’s gonna be like:

[starrrbakerrr]

i read this really insightful post by @thesmileykate and it made me realize how sunrise on the reaping adds a whole new layer to snow’s “convince me.” katniss easily “convinced” the majority of panem and all of the capitol of her love for peeta in the 74th games. but not snow, because he thinks all covey women are deceiving to their lovers. he thought there was no possible way katniss truly loved peeta. he wanted to believe all of her choices were for her own self-preservation. but when he saw katniss’s reaction to peeta’s heart stopping in the quarter quell his belief about covey women was proven incorrect. and once peeta was captured he knew he couldn’t take away katniss’s love for peeta, but he could take away peeta’s love for katniss.

[ghostinwinterfell]

“peeta’s love for katniss is unrealistic!” “why would peeta harbor a crush since kindergarten?” “he didn’t even know her!”

I feel like we forget that peeta’s initial introduction to katniss is through his father telling him that he wanted to marry mrs. everdeen. here’s this little boy with an abusive mother, two older brothers to live up to, and a general feeling of “my family doesn’t really need me.” but katniss’s family? two loving parents and a close relationship with her little sister? how easy would it be for him to project his own wishes onto her? in another life, that might have been HIS family.

so when mr. everdeen is killed, peeta witnesses that fantasy family fall apart. he has to watch as katniss struggles to hold her mother and sister together when they can barely survive. by the time he tosses her that loaf of bread, she’s already a shadow of the girl he’d once idealized.

and then katniss volunteers to save her little sister? when peeta’s older brothers don’t do the same for him? for peeta to be thrown into a death trap with this girl who he’s attached himself to since kindergarten? yeah I would fall in love with her too.

[triassictriserratops]

also! I was talking with @evermarch last night about how it's not unlikely that Otho may have told Peeta about the time he was almost killed at a reaping (or could have even been reaped himself, the way someone else was immediately after). And how a well-timed punch may have just saved his life.

the Mellark family is intrinsically tied to the Everdeens through the stories Otho chooses to share with Peeta.

[lettersfrompanem]

the "I'm not a drinker myself" to gradually becoming an alcoholic to numb out the pain pipeline

the "I don't want them to change me. turn me into something I'm not" to being turned into a mutt version of himself pipeline

the "I do everything in my power to protect my sister" to losing her anyway pipeline

[sarascamander]

🗣️🗣️🗣️ 'I came of age in the Dark War. I was baptized in blood and fire." 🗣️🗣️🗣️

🗣️🗣️🗣️"I killed my own father, you think I won't kill your son?"🗣️🗣️🗣️

🗣️🗣️🗣️"The world can burn if my family lives"🗣️🗣️🗣️

[cassandraclare]

Hey cassie, @cassandraclare , i’ve read your answer and started thinking about Julian’s response to trauma, which you said “is pretty intense” and i totally agree. So i want to ask you your own canonical opinion about it, or what you were thinking about while writing about Julian’s mental situation: do you think or made it canon in your head that he had Depression? I’ve been reading TDA while i was dealing with my own Depression, in its early stages, and started relating a lot, but my own opinion might me extremely biased, because Julian is a comfort character and we share some traumas, so that’s why i want to know your opinion about it.

I know you maybe want to avoid giving diagnosis because we are no one to tell, and i completely understand this, eventually, so i am just curious about your own thoughts while writing. Maybe you were thinking about Depression while writing about it even if you didn’t make it canon. Or maybe you were thinking about something else or only some symptoms or nothing at all☺️ that’s just out of curiosity and emotional relating. Anyway his “sadness” didn’t look a “normal troubled and traumatised teenager sadness” to me, considering insomnia and irrational guilt and despair and many other things (since Lady Midnight). But, again, i might be extremely biased.

(Anyway his anedonia in QOAAD, when he gets his emotions taken off was definitely coded and i extremely loved the depiction. But we can’t definitely call that “Depression” given the “magical reason”)

I think one of the interesting things about Julian is that while many characters often suffer in this kind of adventure/fantasy book, few wear their damage as visibly as he does, especially male characters.

When I wrote Jules, I was thinking about PTSD. And those things you list — insomnia and irrational guilt and despair — are symptoms of PTSD. But depression is also a symptom of PTSD. It sounds like you know a good amount about mental health, so when I say that when you look at something like depression, you're often looking at "Is this depression the symptom of some condition or root cause" I think you'd agree. So while I often feel a bit weird making clinical psychological diagnosis of my characters in a way that might exclude anyone who relates to that character, I would say Julian suffers from depressive symptoms brought on by PTSD. If that makes him a comfort character, that is great, and there is really no way to be wrong about relating to a character!

[cassandraclare]

Dru and Ash by EK Belsher! From Wicked Powers.

[mage-chocolate]

I know the Capitol Everlark girlies were losing it online about them. Based on the small bits Katniss shares, it seems like every new bit of information people receive about Katniss and Peeta makes them seem like the horniest people in love.

Katniss says she’s basically been ripping Peeta’s clothes off for the last year and they purposefully got caught sneaking away and kissing a lot of times over the Victory Tour

Them sharing a bed on the Victory Tour was noticed enough that Katniss hoped Snow would hear about it

Peeta telling everyone he got Katniss pregnant. And since he suggests this happened before the Quell announcement three months earlier that means he’s implying he got her pregnant by April. They came back from their games around August so Peeta just told everyone he got Katniss pregnant within 8 months of their relationship.

Making out for at least ten minutes with Katniss in Peeta’s lap on the beach on national television when they could be dying very soon.

I’m sure this was circulating every time they made an appearance.

[waywardangel-wilds]

I really like thinking of Katniss and Peeta post war before they’re even a couple. Specifically, I like thinking of Peeta having to go out of district for a medical appointment and Katniss being all weird about the fact that she will obviously miss him. The first time she calls Peeta’s like “hey Katniss, I was thinking about you—“ and she cuts him off to be like “you left your right sock. From the stripped wool pair you like. So. Yeah. I’m not in your house.”

[mage-chocolate]

Peeta having the conversation with his dad about Katniss’s parents before he actually hears her sing, symbolically really works with what makes Katniss’s love for him so special.

By putting this conversation in the text instead of having him instantly fall for Katniss’s voice it sets up the intriguing contrast the Everdeen family is to the life Peeta knows. At age five Peeta is confused why anyone would pick a coal miner over his father, it almost seems magical the concept of singing making someone fall in love against the hopeless utilitarianism of Panem.

Which embodies the core of Katniss’s love. When she goes on about the value of a third son who took second place in wrestling when his own mother didn’t have any faith in him and their mentor ends up picking her later. When she’s ready to die with him in their first games. When she’s ready to die for him in the quell. When she chooses to be the mockjngjay so he can be rescued and not punished for treason. When she chooses to protect his life even when she’s not sure if he’s Peeta anymore and he wants her to abandon him. When she chooses to start to live because he’s back.

Years after five year old Peeta wonders why someone would pick a coal miner against all reason, he experiences that type of love as a girl continually chooses the boy who is never chosen.

[vielaesque]

sometimes i think about how suzanne could've easily ruined my life by killing off peeta or katniss—or both—or by not making them endgame, and i immediately spiral. miss collins held all the power in the world.

[dramaism]

From now on, rely on and trust only me.

[dramaism]

#calling him cute since day 1

[dramaism]

I loved you a lot, Han Daon. I love you, too. I love you more.