That's Not How the Force Works @fandom47 - Tumblr Blog

oblomovite-deactivated20160709

me: ok im gonna sit down and read this book with no distractions

me two minutes later:

i love that charles dickens got paid by the word. like i cant even be mad when he’s boring and long-winded bc i would do xactly the same??? i wouldnt use contractions or colours at all. want to say the word red? too bad. we r now only using “the colour of freshly-spilled blood on snow; the hue of the horizon when the sun sets over the deserts of sub-saharan Africa” BOOM guess who can afford 2 eat now: me and my boi dickens

faewithoutconsequence

What I love about Alexandre Dumas, in contrast, is he got paid by the line. So it’s not really wordy, it more like 80% dialogue which makes it sound pretty modern but also ends up like-

“Where are we going now?”

“We are going to the city.”

“Which city?”

“Paris.”

“We are going to Paris?”

“Yes.”

laissezferre

# can you imagine the kind of extended torture we would have been subject to if victor hugo had been paid by the pun (via vlajean)

beckisbookshelf-deactivated2023

Slow books

#Books

the-secret-life-of-kyloren-deac

Sassssy Space Boys

The rootinest tootinest space boyband in town.

#Star wars #the last jedi

jihyo-x

Please this is the funniest thing I’ve made in 10 years

#Star wars #the last jedi

xjess-mariex

when poe excitedly runs toward bb8 and gives him tummy scratches

#Star wars #the last jedi

warring-roses-deactivated202007

The last porg.

#Star wars #the last jedi

candicemorgan-accola

The Last Jedi summary

#Star wars #the last jedi

nepofledgling

why does anyone in Gotham even bother doing crime like you KNOW the second you leave the bank with the money you just stole Bruce Wayne is gonna be chilling on a bench on the other side of the street in his bat fursuit like “hey bitch u better not be breaking the law”

just-yet

because batman never bothered attacking the roots of social problems

nepofledgling

you know what… you’re right call him out!!

beowulf22121

Wayne Enterprises has a jobs program for those who are fresh out of prison. He routinely takes major villains with mental health issues to an asylum where professionals are there to help. Or do you just read the fight scenes?

marauders4evr

Because

Batman

Never

Bothered

Attacking

The

Roots

Of

Social

Problems

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BATMAN HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING?

Fake geeks, I swear to god…

The best part is that most of the lore, especially Batman: The Animated Series, gets to a point in Batman’s career when everyone asks the question of why someone would rob a bank in Gotham when they know that if they approached Batman, and coincidentally Bruce Wayne, they could get the help they needed.

That’s the whole point of Batman. Granted there have been modernized adaptations that paint him out to be nothing more than a growling, punching, antihero. But nobody ever said those adaptations were canon or even good. The original Batman comics, most of the newer comics, the Animated Series, the animated spinoffs, even the Arkham video games all operate under the lore that Batman does everything within his power to help as many villains as he can, even if it means going against cops, politicians, etc. That’s what originally made him the vigilante. He went against the social norms. He did everything that a hero shouldn’t do, not in a murderous way, but in a taking-sides way. Every other hero swoops in to save the corrupt politician from the criminal. Batman swoops in to save the criminal from the corrupt politician.

bowditch

crinosg

I remember one issue of the tie in comic for The Batman, where Batman is fighting Poison Ivy (Who, in this continuity, is a teenager), who has broken into an exhibit for a rare flower. When Batman catches her, he asks what ivy was planning to do with the flower. Ivy tearfully exclaims she wasn’t going to do ANYTHING with the flower, she just wanted to see it. Later, when she’s in Arkham, Batman drops off a bunch of pictures of the flower for her to make her feel better.

So yeah, that’s MY Batman.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

I love how Anarky is like “Would Batman have u break the law to help people in need” and Steph is just like “Dude

do

do you actually know what we’ve even been doing?”

#Batman #Dc

eemersonm

me: you know women are allowed to not like men back

television writers:

thechristopherglen-deactivated2

I wonder when The Fray was writing “How to Save a Life” they knew that it would be used in every hospital/doctor TV series ever at some point.

butt-berry

British tv cooking competitions: held in a large tent in the middle of a field, the host is a lesbian comedian and the judge is an adorable 80 year old woman, everything is a terrible pun, all the contestants are friends and cry when someone is eliminated

US tv cooking competitions: the set is a barely-lit dungeon, no one smiles in the entire series, rock/screamo musical intro, every sentence is emphasised with a cymbal crash, everyone hates each other especially the judges, at least one contestant is introduced holding a gun