Things

Not so much fandom right now. This is a blog of an oldish bisexual woman with a gender-queer kid. If you're a young person that feel uncomfortable with me following you or commenting on your posts please tell me. Tumblr can be a rough place.

[bellaxiao]

no lie

[brainlesstroll]

i mean, the one about the boobs isn’t wrong…

[cotardkindrome1999]

this is why striaght people get flak

because they do dumb shit like this

[kikikid1412]

What the fuck is the “Lock Up Your Daughters” one?! Who thought that was cute?! Who thought that was funny?! Who thought that was a good idea at all?!?!?!

[sealedbeastnue]

My Straight Baby (Hes Straight) Is going To Fuck Your Wife

[m-m-tp]

Ugh… Breeders…

[fandomthingies]

My daughter should've had the boobies one. Or should have. She's five now and she still like to squeeze unexpecting ladies titties whenever the chance arises. (Yes we're having the both the "importance of consent" and the "private body parts" talk. No she doesn't listen. Unfortunately most ladies frankly don't take offence when little girls grope them. Parenting would be easier if they did. Instead they seem to find it funny. It's really not.)

[towlersnow-deactivated20210528]

About this "allegedly" ended contract. Isn't it possible that Louis' and Zayn's contracts are/were different from the others as they were both 18 when 1D first signed with Syco. The others must all have resigned theirs as legal adults, (tho Harry's the only one who turned 18 after they became successful). That would explain why Louis is in another position than Harry, Liam and Niall, why Harry's always seemed more free from promo and also why Zayn is still so heavily associated with Syco/Sono.

No, this has been discussed and debated before. If you look at the dates, Harry turned 18 a little over a year after XF ended, and just 4.5 months after WMYB was released. So yes, they were successful, but the extent of that success was still unknown. 

So when Harry was given a contract to sign as an adult, it probably didn’t have any significant variations from what Louis signed at the very beginning. 

[fandomthingies]

I've written about this before and tho I see your point I mostly agree with anon. To me there are a few important factors.

1. There have been plenty written about Simon/syco's conditions when acts are signing, one of them being that the acts can only use Simon's own lawyers for advice on the contracts. As a parent myself I'm confident there's NO way Liam's, Niall's and Harry's parents wouldn't see to it that they consulted a lawyer of their own before resigning. And not even Simon can keep a signed contract from being viewed by the people who signed it in the first place (or their legal aid).

2. As you say the extent of 1D's success was unknown, but there sure were pretty good indications. Already when Liam and Niall turned 18 the book about their X Factor story had topped the Sunday times bestseller list, and the X Factor live tour had been a huge success (and it was obvious 1D was the act people came to see).

3. When Harry resigned WMYB had been released and topped charts, but more importantly - the boys had signed with a very optimistic Colombia for the US market and they had a tour in the US lined up (a tour pretty much "demanded" by 1D's already vast US social media following). Up All Night was the fastest selling UK debut album in 2011 and WMYB UK's best selling single. And Harry was pushed as the front man.

4. By the time Harry signed as an adult he'd seen his fair share of stunting. He had been linked to Caroline Flack and all of the boys social media had been both used and abused. I'm quite sure he made changes to his social media clause that none of the others have as none of his "girlfriends" have been promoted through them (and maybe he didn't know how to take full advantage of it until he got to know the Azoff's).

5. Syco and Simon didn't have any idea how successful 1D was going to be either. They probably thought they'd burn hot and fast as boy bands tend to do. If Niall and Liam wanted to renegotiate their contracts I'm sure the non compete and the terms regarding their image rights after the end of contract seemed like a way to make them feel they "won" something without it costing Syco much.

To me it's just very implausible that Liam, Niall and Harry (or their parents) shouldn't try to renegotiate their contracts. I can see that Liam and Niall hadn't very much to work with, but Harry ABSOLUTELY had. And it should explain a lot of the things we see playing out now.

[spyadults]

the scariest president had to be Rushmore because he had four heads

[a-big-furry-rat]

it’s a good thing we captured him in that mountain even if we have to live in fear of the spell wearing off :/

[jankybones]

Am I glad he’s frozen in there and that we’re out here, and that he’s the president, and that we’re frozen out here, and that we’re in there and I just remembered we’re out here. What I wanna know is where’s the politics?

[ladygolem]

he’s back

[bigbadkingboomboo]

He’s come to fight Donald Trump.

[zorakings]

thank you president rushmore

[jheselbraum]

They always said he’d return when we needed him most

[micdotcom]

Ted Cruz endorses Donald Trump

Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, the conservative purist who took heat this summer when he refused to endorse Donald Trump, took the plunge and endorsed Trump on Friday — a move that could hurt his brand as a principled conservative. He gave 6 reasons for finally backing Trump.

[fandomthingies]

The real question tho. Why are these trash cans celebrating bisexuality?

[fandomthingies]

My kid just went through major surgery so I've been otherwise occupied, but yay! It's bisexual visibility day! He's finally asleep somewhat peacefully so I'll celebrate with a glass of wine now. And then sleep. I hope y'all had a nice day.

[discoprince]

Cancer, Aquarius, Libra, Taurus, Pisces, Virgo, Capricorn: I love living peacefully and drama free !! :) Leo, Aries, Gemini, Scorpio, Sagittarius:

[fandomthingies]

I'm Aries,my partner is Scorpio and the kids are Leo and Sagittarius. This explains everything.

[wooltobravetheseason]

no but for real, i need to get this off my chest right now because it’s bothering me all over again.

i started off my 1d fandom life in the larrie fandom because larry is my fave and i have all the Feelings ™ and unraveling the conspiracy when i first stumbled upon it was equal parts infuriating and fascinating. that fandom used to be my happy place. the camaraderie was what made my dash an exciting place at that time.

then. march 25, 2015 happened. and suddenly, my happy place caught on fire.

thanks, racism.

because that’s what it was. racism. straight up. it was the first time i saw the way race intersects with sexuality up close. the white lgbt supporters out here turning the most complicated of mental cartwheels, trying to avoid seeing zayn as someone they should be protecting alongside their white faves. and for someone like me– someone for whom zayn is kin, young and pakistani and living in a white supremacist country– it was deeply upsetting. because it wasn’t just about protecting zayn (which, we should, because internet trolls are not something to dismiss, but toxic and dangerous with real impact in the real world) - it was also about protecting the fandom and people like me. the brown girls who were watching all the ugly discourse in disbelief. especially now, more than a year down the line– when your white faves have also broken off to do solo careers, and y’all are happier than pigs in shit– the hypocrisy is just. unreal. not only were/are these people not seeing the obvious logical failings that made zayn’s “leaving” look fishy (i personally knew the game was still on when he was papped with perald the next day) but they were/are also reacting very differently than if, say, harry had gone solo. or niall. the anger wouldn’t have– and hasn’t been– as visceral. but it was with zayn. and i see it. i remember it. and i’m definitely bitter about how it’s poisoned my happy place.

it also gets to me because i know that it could be worse. because if zayn were any less beautiful, any less talented– arguably the most talented in the band– if zayn were any less than the adorable dork he is, it would have been incalculably worse for him. some of you guys, i swear you just put up with him in order to consume the pictures of his pretty face. he is “the beautiful one” when everyone else gets to be an actual personality. like the leaked marketing handout that proclaimed him “the dark horse” when everyone else got to be sunshine sweet. it literally pains me, how such a wonderful and complex individual has been reduced in discourse (in fandom and beyond) to “the beautiful one.” and if he weren’t so beautiful? you’d only have turned on him faster. that old poc proverb so succinctly summed up in scandal– “twice as good, to get half of what they have”– has never felt more relevant.

and with all that context– i don’t get to hang out in the larrie fandom anymore. i don’t get to enjoy the jokes as fully, and i have to run like a full background check on any new blog i follow because i love myself and my boy too much to put up with a single morsel of zayn bashing. i know there are some people in this fandom who are able to compartmentalize, keep the fun and scoff at the ugly– and seriously, i applaud you guys and wish i knew how to do that, because the zayn stuff just gets so personal to me. when i am defending him– defending his right to be a victim fighting for his agency– it feels like i am also defending myself. my right to be angry and hurt by the way people speak so callously and thoughtlessly. my right to be brown in this white world, and still be a valid human being.

i only follow a few larries now. and i might have to unfollow them too, at this point, because fuck, i don’t know what’s worse– watching you assholes pretend he was never in the band, or watching you assholes pretend like he isn’t still out there suffering with the same dead eyes as the rest of the band.

larry is still my fave, but the rest of you– i could certainly do without. (and tbh, considering how much both of them love still zayn, now and forever, they could probably do without you too.) and that’s coming not from an anti, or a mindless troll– but from one of you.

[frontpagewoman]

Come on somebody.

[bigunknownkingdom]

[fandomthingies]

Liam on Illusion

"Did you know someone we work with made up Illusion about me and Sophia? Just took some bits and pieces from my real life and made the whole thing up. I didn't write a word on it. Fake the lot. It's quite alright with her tho, she's fine with it. Likes it really. You know the song right? Illusion - as in seemingly real but not actually real at all. Could have been called False Belief instead maybe. Or Misconception. Or plain Bogus. It's the strangest thing honestly. Apropos feeling trapped or whatever we were talking about just now ... "

[waitingformycoffin]

English is a global language because English speakers have been global conquerors. It’s not about the quality of English nouns and verbs, it’s about the quality of English guns and money.

“A Linguist Explains Emoji and What Language Death Actually Looks Like”, by Gretchen McCulloch at The Toast (via waitingformycoffin)

[mysharona1987]

[ithelpstodream]

[micdotcom]

Watch: In searing speech, Obama exposes yet another horrifying side of Donald Trump

[wildishmazz]

Precisely zero punches pulled, and fewer fucks given.

[fandomthingies]

The best parenting advice I've ever got is this: - You've got to decide what's important to you. Do you want to be right, or do you want things to change? If there's constant conflict and you insist your way is right, then you'll just have to battle it out. Brace yourself and keep fighting. Because YOU have to change your ways if you want the kids to behave differently. There's no other way.

[fandomthingies]

I’ve been thinking a lot about who belongs in lgbtq spaces or not lately. And as I’ve worked in those spaces for such a long time it’s quite frustrating that people act like it’s easy to determine who’s queer or not. Who’s an acceptable exception and who’s not. And I think about my friend.

When I was fifteen I met a girl who became one of my closest friends. She was a few years older and I admired her immensely. She was pretty and brave and intelligent and fearless. She didn’t introduce me to lgbtq spaces, another friend did that, but she did introduce me to the world of drag queens and drag kings. And she knew how to breathe fire.

When she was twenty-five she married a drag queen. It was a spectacular wedding between two people in beautiful 16th century dresses. They both looked amazing. Her husband had a day job where he presented as male but some nights he did drag. He was a cross dresser, and he loved my friend.

When my friend was 37 they called me and asked me to come see them. They lived in an other city but I heard how serious they were so I went the next weekend. They told me they’d started to transition. That they were male. And they asked me to talk to their husband that had a hard time accepting this. We talked and we cried and we laughed. All tree of us.

So. Now I have this man that’s one of my best friends. Who talks of himself as a she when we talk about our past together (and doesn’t mind that I do too but it's getting hard, my memories have changed somehow). Who is handsome and brave and full of laughter. Always the centre of any room. And he’s married to a man who loves him deeply but who still identify as straight. A wonderful, kind man who no longer cross dresses much but who put on his ear rings now and then to feel pretty. And my friend breaths fire sometimes at parties and the main difference is that now I have to worry about his beard catching fire when he does.

[fandomthingies]

Safe spaces are open spaces

What makes me most uncomfortable with the whole “does ace people really belong in lgbtq spaces” thing, is that it’s non of anyones business how others identify. It’s our business to welcome those who seek us out if they are respectful.

Many doesn’t know how they identify. Many are drawn to lgbtq spaces because of reasons they are not aware of themselves. Many are scared, questioning or insecure. Many start out presenting themselves as allies and end up being lgbtq. Many asexual people have no idea if they experience romantic attraction or with whom in that case.

All we can be sure of is that gatekeeping is never, ever the way to go. We can’t risk to harm people that need us in our quest to keep out exploiters or posers. Of course we want our spaces to be safe, but we can’t forget that safe spaces are also tolerant and open spaces. Allowing spaces. Anyone who is accepting of others within the community (and the way they express and present themselves) should always be welcome.

Isn’t that how it got to be?

[bipeoplearentyourpawns]

safe spaces can never be all-inclusive, are you fucking joking? how can a safe space be safe if anyone can be in it? 

[fandomthingies]

I’m not joking at all. I’ve been working with and at lgbtq spaces for 20+ years and they have always been open for anyone. As long as people accept others and are nonjudgmental of others they’re welcome. It have never ever been a problem to be honest.

Though we (me and my coworkers) belong to, and work for, the lgbtq community we never question how people identify or why they come to us, because some people doesn’t want to tell. Or doesn’t know. Or aren’t ready to talk about it. We provide a safe space where no one is allowed to judge others. Where people can express their sexuality or their gender-identity in any way they wish.

I see this strange discussion on Tumblr and I’m so uncomfortable with it because it’s so far from reality. The reality I know can for example be that I see a small group of friends that shows up at our gatherings and parties, a bit shy at first and mostly sticking to themselves, but after a while I learn that one of them is gay, two are experimenting with their gender expression, one is straight and one states they’re asexual. Should I’ve tried to exclude that straight kid or the asexual one from the start? Should I start now? Why? Chances are all of them would have stopped coming. How’s that safe?

Do you know how many gay and lesbian couples I know that have kids with asexual people of the other gender? They’re many because it’s a really simple way to have kids if you can’t conceive with your partner. It works well. Are these amazing asexual parents part of the lgbtq community by association or should I tell them to please not come by anymore? Why?

[bipeoplearentyourpawns]

a safe space is not completely safe if you let everyone in. if you allow cishet people into LGBT spaces, they are no longer LGBT spaces, they are now spaces for everyone. i’m sick of inclusion. LGBT people are allowed to have one thing for ourselves, in the same way that men (as in, actual men, not trans women) don’t belong in women’s spaces. 

[fandomthingies]

I can see your point and I agree to an extent, but my experience is that the world just isn’t that simple. People are complicated. There are always exceptions. Many of them. Who am I to judge who belongs or not? How would I test people? What form should they fill in?

Can they come if their queer friend won’t come in without them? If they have a queer kid and need someone to talk to? If they’re suddenly super interested in queer culture tho they’re totally straight *nervous giggles* and I could easily bet my left kidney they’ll come out within a year, they just haven’t realised themselves yet? If they’re obviously closeted?

In reality it’s really not even a big problem (at least not in the places where I’ve lived and worked). Most if not all of the people that come on an average Tuesday night are definitely lgbtq people. It’s probably not very interesting to come if you aren’t to be honest.

And if you want to make absolutely sure that you’ll know who’ll come to an event you can always organise an invitation only thing. Because frankly, if a cishet person wants to infiltrate lgbtq spaces it’s super duper easy. They can just say that they’re gay or bi or trans. We have absolutely no way of knowing.

[fandomthingies]

Safe spaces are open spaces

What makes me most uncomfortable with the whole “does ace people really belong in lgbtq spaces” thing, is that it’s non of anyones business how others identify. It’s our business to welcome those who seek us out if they are respectful.

Many doesn’t know how they identify. Many are drawn to lgbtq spaces because of reasons they are not aware of themselves. Many are scared, questioning or insecure. Many start out presenting themselves as allies and end up being lgbtq. Many asexual people have no idea if they experience romantic attraction or with whom in that case.

All we can be sure of is that gatekeeping is never, ever the way to go. We can’t risk to harm people that need us in our quest to keep out exploiters or posers. Of course we want our spaces to be safe, but we can’t forget that safe spaces are also tolerant and open spaces. Allowing spaces. Anyone who is accepting of others within the community (and the way they express and present themselves) should always be welcome.

Isn’t that how it got to be?

[bipeoplearentyourpawns]

safe spaces can never be all-inclusive, are you fucking joking? how can a safe space be safe if anyone can be in it? 

[fandomthingies]

I'm not joking at all. I've been working with and at lgbtq spaces for 20+ years and they have always been open for anyone. As long as people accept others and are nonjudgmental of others they're welcome. It have never ever been a problem to be honest.

Though we (me and my coworkers) belong to, and work for, the lgbtq community we never question how people identify or why they come to us, because some people doesn't want to tell. Or doesn't know. Or aren't ready to talk about it. We provide a safe space where no one is allowed to judge others. Where people can express their sexuality or their gender-identity in any way they wish.

I see this strange discussion on Tumblr and I'm so uncomfortable with it because it's so far from reality. The reality I know can for example be that I see a small group of friends that shows up at our gatherings and parties, a bit shy at first and mostly sticking to themselves, but after a while I learn that one of them is gay, two are experimenting with their gender expression, one is straight and one states they're asexual. Should I've tried to exclude that straight kid or the asexual one from the start? Should I start now? Why? Chances are all of them would have stopped coming. How's that safe?

Do you know how many gay and lesbian couples I know that have kids with asexual people of the other gender? They're many because it's a really simple way to have kids if you can't conceive with your partner. It works well. Are these amazing asexual parents part of the lgbtq community by association or should I tell them to please not come by anymore? Why?