What wicked beauty lies beneath the waterfalls

She/Her, 31, Writer, Poet, Lover, Hamiltonian.

[fangsandfalls]

Rob Golfi Vampire Imagine....

Golfi licks his vampire lips before biting into a succulent jelly-filled timbit. The crimson jam trickles down his sharp teeth like fresh paint on a newly purchased condo. You shudder with lust as you realize your ass will be next.

[terriblerealestateagentphotos]

"We always liked the idea that the preparation and the consequences happened in the same room."

[terriblerealestateagentphotos]

Even the Grim Reaper needs to unwind sometimes.

[fangsandfalls]

I think a lot of you really don't understand what Marx meant when he wrote about commodity fetishism...

So let's start by going over some simple definitions, shall we?

A commodity is an economic good that is generally produced by labor which can be bought, sold or traded. For example, a commodity could be something like corn, potatoes, a car or even a house (remember that last part, it'll be important later).

Now let's get on to the fun part...

Fetishism defined by a heightened unusual sexual interest in an object and/or concept like feet, vampires or anything else in the world. You might even have a fetish for something like a job or position like nurses, fire fighters or real estate agents.

So when we put those things together the definition becomes obvious: someone who gains heightened sexual or spiritual gratification from engaging in the sale of economic goods.

Therefore, according to Marx himself, working class laborers who gain sexual gratification from engaging in sales of commodities, such as landlords or real estate agents, serve a vital role in our society and uphold important Marxist values.

When you look at it like that it becomes really obvious that the least we can do for all their hard work is fetishize them in return. Yes, removing graffiti from billboards and writing erotic fics about your local real estate agent is praxis. Die mad about it.

[fangsandfalls]

Possibly a hot take but landlords and realtors are actually so anticapitalist-coded. Like, I'm not saying they are, I'm just saying that they have that energy, you know? Like anarchycore. Especially the ones that are running their own businesses. They're putting billboards up in places that could have been occupied by a megacorporation like McDonalds or something but instead we get to look at the faces of real working class citizens so you have to admit that they're at least a little anti-capitalist.

[vampira-carmilla]

The Dracula's castle.

[fangsandfalls]

tsk... I don't understand how hypocrites can talk about how sexy it is when hot guys in suits are bad boys but then they get mad and kick me out of the marxist bookclub discord server when I have the guts to say that I think gentrification is sexy.

Yes, I'm an anti-capitalist anarchist. Yes I think landlords and gentrification are sexy. We exist.

[fangsandfalls]

heh ironic how they are supposedly against gentrification but then they create a hostile environment in the nsfw politics channel that forces me to leaeve the server. Not so against gentrification anymore now, are you?

[fangsandfalls]

tsk... I don't understand how hypocrites can talk about how sexy it is when hot guys in suits are bad boys but then they get mad and kick me out of the marxist bookclub discord server when I have the guts to say that I think gentrification is sexy.

Yes, I'm an anti-capitalist anarchist. Yes I think landlords and gentrification are sexy. We exist.

[fangsandfalls]

Golfi always struck me as a guy with a giant, billboard shaped cock.

God I need it.

He turns to you...,.. equal part shame and desire mingle in his auburn orbs. "Promise you won't be afraid of me, baby," he whispers.

Your breath catches in your thoarrt. What... what is he about to say?? What could it be?

His sharp vampire gaze meets your soft non-vampire looks. He licks his lips and you see a bit of fang and in his husky podcaster voice he says "I have been lying yo you babbygirl." He slams a fist against the table, a faint tear trickinling down his perfect cheek. "I'M A FUCKING LIAR."

You place a gentle hand on his shaking fist. "I'm here for you my golfdaddy," you whistper in a low whisper. The special secret nickname calms his vampire rage immediately, like a wet cloth on an oil fire in a pot of oil that will now not burst into flames and destroy a beautiful midcentury house with flames because you calmed it down with your somber love.

"I.... I lied... when I told you told you my pants looked like that because I walked into the door at the bank and it gave me a door-shaped swelling in my pants.... it's not true. None of it is...."

You nod supportively and understandably.

"The truth is that I have had this ever since the curse..."

You know this wrethced curse he may speak of well. He doesn't like talking about his vampire curse often or all the problems that come with being an Alpha.

"I'm in vampire heat," he blushes.

"Wow." you say.

"Heh yeah. have you ever wondered why my billboards are that shape?"

You are confused by his seemingly sudden change in topic until his pants hit the floor and he unfurls his 40x25ft manhood. It creaks deliciously as it unfolds itself from the tight prison of his trousers.

"Are you ready to bill-bone,.?" he chuckles.

🥀🩸🖤 ~Venmo me $25 or send me a timmies gift card if you want a part two~ 🖤🩸🥀

[dollitass]

[purplevibesss]

[spookshollow]

[zhaeros]

[purplevibesss]

[spookshollow]

[fangsandfalls]

Hiiiiyaaaa~ I love the imagine you just posted!! Can you pleeeeease write one where Golfi feeds Y/N a fresh timbit? no vampires pls :3

I Hope You Rot.

[fangsandfalls]

Imagine...

It is midnight. You are gazing upon a Rob Golfi billboard in the pale moonlight and for a second you swear you see him wink at you.

"Nay! It must be a trick of the light," you think foolishly... but then you notice them... his sharp vampire fangs.