not alone (leon kennedy x reader)
Summary: wherein reader finally confronts leon about ada wong
hi guys! so this is my first ever original Leon content! I’ve been obsessing over him since RE4 but the RE2 remake just breathed new life into my already unhealthy obsession. hopefully you guys enjoy this little piece and please, please do feel free to send me some writing requests ! I’d love to generate more Leon content on here!
The tears you were trying to suppress felt intolerably difficult to keep from spilling, the stinging in your eyes threatening to cascade down your flushed cheeks and show Leon just how much sadness and anger was erupting in your heart.
The argument you both had snowballed into a full-fledged match; your voices were raspy and strained from how long they’ve been raised at each other, filling the apartment you shared. At no point, though, do you think this will stop soon. Not with how stubborn he was being. It was crazy - how only he can make you feel this loved but also this worthless. You wish he could stop hurting you - this thing, this same issue, over and over again. All you wanted was to break the cycle, having felt suffocated even by the mere mention of her name. Ada Wong. God, how your blood boiled - she just couldn’t stay away. The fact, though, that Leon seemed unable to do so either absolutely got you seeing red.
When their paths cross, it’s as if he forgets he has a girlfriend of almost 2 years. It made you feel insufficient, like you weren’t good enough to keep his attention from swaying. It broke your heart in ways words cannot even begin to describe; all you ever did was love him, as truly, deeply and selflessly a person can love another person. What were you lacking? What did she have?
“You’re being so unfair, (Y/N)! If you can only hear yourself!” He berates, running an exasperated hand through his already disheveled blonde hair. He was clearly worked up with the whole situation, unable to see where you were coming from. For the most part, he thought you were overreacting, your jealousy clouding your better judgement. It was ridiculous, he thought, that you felt disposable whenever Ada came up on your pages; he felt like you were trying to accuse him of disloyalty. Can you really be blamed though? Especially when the reason for this mess was when you found out Leon had been secretly conversing with her after coming home from his latest mission? It was like the world tilted on its axis when you answered the call and that damned woman’s seductive voice rang through your ears. His betrayal created a rift that was just continuing to grow; you couldn’t look at him without feeling a terrible stab in your heart and this overgrown fight was only making it worse.
If you hadn’t picked the phone up, would he have told you? How long was he going to go without telling you? Your head throbbed trying to think of the answer to your questions - of convincing yourself that it would be the answers you wanted even though the worst came to mind. Despite all this, he still didn’t want to disclose to you what they’ve been talking about.
“Unfair?” Your eyes widen, incredulous at what he had just said. “I’m being unfair, Leon?! How would you feel if I went behind your back!? If I was hiding secrets from you with another man?!”
He shuts his ocean-blue eyes harshly, distress prominent in his strong features. He lets out a frustrated grunt. “Why can’t you just believe me when I tell you that the information is classified!” He snaps, moving forward. Leon was always very level-headed and calm, but he couldn’t help his small outburst. This fight, far by the worst you’ve both had in the entirety of your friendship and relationship, was taking it’s toll. He brings his hands down on the white counter top, the kitchen filling with the sound of his palms connecting with the marble. You flinch ever so slightly at the noise before glaring at him, the dam behind your eyes finally breaking.
Before you could try to stop it, tears leak in streams down your face as your chest started to tremble. “Was it also classified not to tell me you were talking to her? Or did you just want no one stopping you?” You retort, your voice being its lowest and softest in nearly an hour but just as harsh. You swallow the huge lump lodged in your throat, your hands unconsciously clenching as you look away from the bewildered man. You breathe out, not wanting to look at him as you asked your million-dollar question. “If I hadn’t answered, would I ever have known?”
Heavy silence shrouds the room as Leon remains mute for a while. You peel your gaze away from the polished floor and up at him. You blink to clear up your teary vision but seeing your boyfriend’s angry demeanor change into a softer, more remorseful one - a fresh wave tides in. You knew him way too well to know just by his body and expression that the answer was no. He didn’t have to say anything, noting at all. Your heart was already twisting.
His face falls, every trace of his anger long forgotten as his guilt nips painfully at him. He watches as a fresh round of tears run down your cheeks, he aches to wipe them away and just hold you - to forget about this stupid night. There are a lot of things in your fucked up reality that he hated and seeing you hurt would be at the top of the long list. He breathes out heavily, disconsolate and defeated, “(Y/N), she saved my life countless of times,” He tries to explain, feeling pathetic. The fire in his voice as cold as snow now. “I owe her mine,” He says, barely above a whisper. Although you were still trying to let everything process and sink in, you knew that he was right there - she did save his life more than once and that’s something you’ll forever be grateful for regardless of how you feel about her, but that wasn’t the real problem here. There was something deeper, and you knew for a fact that it wasn’t a green-eyed monster of jealousy. It was another nasty beast lurking in the shadows and you just want to know what you’re facing already.
Your voice gives in from exhaustion and heartache, cracking at the start of your sentence, wanting already to end this - no matter how it goes. “Leon - just be honest with me, please.” You urge weakly, your eyes beginning to throb from crying so much. You steady yourself, wiping gingerly at your face and holding it in your palms for a few seconds. Lowering your hands, you felt ill just getting your sentence out. “Do you have feelings for her?”
It felt like another eternity that he was silent. When you hear him sigh slowly though, the kind before a bad news was going to be delivered, your body grows ice-cold. You begin to shake slightly.
“S-she’s like a part of me I can’t let go,” He finally confesses, finally tearing your heart apart. “But it’s you I love, (Y/N). You’d have to be crazy not to believe that.”
You barely heard the last part of his talking. Your face scrunches, like an invisible hand just slapped all the feeling off your skin. Your breath was painful in your throat and you felt like you were going to choke. You were light-headed, nauseated with the betrayal.
‘She’s like a part of me I can’t let go.’
You quickly gather up the last of your wits to will yourself to move, to walk upstairs and grab some clothes and leave the place with some shred of dignity- maybe for a few days, maybe never honestly. Where were you going to go though? You didn’t know either. You couldn’t think or function normal, not when you felt stripped of anything and everything. He loves you? If he loves you so much, he wouldn’t have caught feelings for another woman. A woman he met in a day while you, years before.
Once your body obeys your commandment to move, you swiftly turn for the stairs, not caring that you’ll have to pass him. Leon takes a frantic dash towards you, hooking his grip gently but firmly on your arm. “Wait, where are you going?”
Without looking at him, you pull your limb back from his hold. You try to ignore the wounded look in his beautiful blue eyes from how harshly you recoiled from his touch. “I can’t do this,” You croak, shaking your head. “I have to leave, this isn’t good for me or for you.”
“Leave?” Leon’s face blanches at your words, his thoughts going haywire at the thought of you gone. You were leaving him? No, it can’t be. You can’t. He was a fool - yes - but he knew that the sun rose and set with you and you only. Ada - she was manipulative, but she saved his life more than once and they’ve witnessed hell together - their experience in Raccoon City set some kind of attachment between them. It was his fault, though, for letting that attachment cloud his vision at times of what was really important. You.
“(Y/N) -“ He starts but you cut him off, shaking your head.
“Save your breath, Leon.” You dismiss the conversation before it could even start, heading towards the staircase again. He follows behind you, alarmed.
“Let’s talk about this. Just calm down, please,” He stammers slightly, trying to keep his calm despite his racing heartbeat. “I’ll tell you what you want to know. Please, just stop.”
A momentary feeling of relief washes over Leon as you turn back to look at him. His chest, though, feels like a thousand pounds when he sees your puffy eyes and red, stuffy nose.
“What is there left to talk about? I’ve heard your piece and I don’t need to be reminded that she’s some part of you you can’t seem to let go. You don’t know how helpless I feel, Leon, that another woman is living in your heart with me.”
You clench your teeth and shut your exhausted eyes, repined and extremely tired of hearing his empty reassurances. “I understand that you’ve been through hell and back with her, but it’s been years since Raccoon and you still can’t give her up. That says more than enough.”