do NOT point out someone’s eye color for no reason.
bad ex: he looked around with (color) colored eyes
this is very distracting and unnecessary and keeps the writing from flowing. is their eye color relevant to the story? if the answer is no, then don’t point out their eye color. this also goes for other things such as hair color, skin tone, etc.
when you’re describing someone, it’s fine.
ex: she had (color) hair and (color) eyes
if their eye color is relevant, it will most likely be something like this.
good ex: the teacher looked at me with her cold, (color) eyes and i immediately sank in my seat.
this is relevant to the story. you’re describing her gaze, so it’s relevant to point out her eye color. if you’re talking about the noun already, then bringing up an adjective or description is fine. bringing up a description when no description is needed makes it obvious you’re just trying to boost the word count. more words doesn’t always equal better quality. more description doesn’t always equal better quality, either.
bad ex: she looked at me with her brown eyes.
that’s basically saying, she looked with eyes. well duh, what else is she gonna look with? doesn’t saying it that way sound weird and unnecessary?
good ex: she looked at me with her brown eyes full of sadness.
this is where bringing up the color is relevant. you’re describing how her eyes look: sad. mentioning that they’re brown helps bring up a better visual of how her eyes may look.
another good ex: she looked at me with her brown eyes. i love brown eyes.
this is, again, where bringing up her eye color is relevant. the protagonist mentions they love the color brown. does that mean they’re going to fall in love? do they feel sick from hatred, since their enemy has an eye color they can’t help but adore? it all depends on what you’re writing.
normally, mentioning her eye color for no reason like this would be bad and distracting, but the protagonist obviously has some sort of fascination with brown eyes, thus making it relevant to mention the color.
i’m not the best at explaining things, but hopefully this helped some people realize their mistakes! this is just something i’ve noticed when reading stories that really irked me, so hopefully some people learned from this ouo
andulkaphoto
tangentwithtanner
