Life has been throwing you a lot of curve balls lately: your boss is terminally ill, you just turned thirty, your boyfriend left without a word, and you've made a huge mistake at work. The only thing that could make it worse is if you end up sending that sext to the wrong person-
Oh. Shit.
Warnings- mentions of sex and sexwork, masturbation (M and f) back shots, threesomes on set w/ Suguru and Sukuna, cum drinking, weed smoking, drinking, lots of longing, reader is innocent DON'T read if you don't like that, pining, obsessive, he can't get hard if it's not you, whipped ass Satoru because that's how I NEED HIM, a lot of mentions of sex, cum, etc- it's about porn so lol. A lil bit of angsttt, a lil bit of cuteness, demisexual reader, hoe Satoru what a pair.
Summary- You meet Satoru Gojo at a wild Hollywood party, insanely out of place, waiting for your friend to show up. The two of you hit it off, spending time together, and share a kiss, but you're a good girl, and you just don't do this, but he is the top pornstar there is, and the top .01 % on OnlyFans. Once you find out, you know there's probably no match, as Satoru doesn't date, and you don't sleep around, but after meeting, you keep in touch- and soon Satoru can't get hard without thinking of you, and you get over curious, and join a livestream of the boy you like. Just how will that go for you both!? WC 10k!
Based on Pornstar Satoru- Playlist- Chapter Two>>>
Chapter One
Satoru Gojo was one of the most famous pornstars there are, and the baddie arched right in front of him, sucking on one of the other most famous starsâ cock - Satoruâs best friend Suguru Geto - shows exactly why he is. When he slams his latex covered cock so deep inside her she screams, squirting all down his cock while she chokes down SuguruâŠ
Thatâs not just for the camera.
Satoru knows every spot on his co-stars, shouldnât it be fun for them too? He never would let a single one of them not cum several times, hence the long, long line and insane demand he has. The amount of onlyfans collab requests he gets, along with shoot after shoot, he has to be extremely picky, but heâd be lying if he said he didnât eat up how desired he was.
Even now, he winks right into the camera, knowing how many people were watching this livestream, gripping his costarâs hips and slamming his cock so deep, while Suguru is gripping her face delicately, moaning. Blue eyes and violet eyes meet the camera, dual smirks while they make this girl shatter for them, until they know itâs time for the money shot.
Sheâs eagerly on her knees, at the most perfect angle in the room they use as a stage, fully lit with pro lighting, and the comments and tips from this livestream are going insane, all while she looks up at both of them. Satoru takes off his condom, while she strokes him, sucking his cock and then Suguruâs, so huge and heavy, though Satoru loves to brag that heâs just a little longer, and Suguru brags heâs thicker.
They love competing, including who cums more, both of them moaning, though Satoru is a little more occupied with how good his abs look in the camera, fuck theyâre glistening really, as she starts jerking them off now with practiced hands. Suguru looks at Satoru then, brushing back dark locks.
âIâm gonna cum way more than you this time.â He murmurs, so that the cameraâs couldnât hear, but the girl stroking them giggles a bit, clearly fucked out.
Satoru stretches his arms up, folding them behind his head, as the strokes get faster, as she laps up his milky precum from his perfect pink tip. âNah, no way, I will this time.â
âSo competitive, hmm?â She says, drawing their attention, then she hits that twist just right, and Satoru and Suguru are cumming all over her eager face, her hands, her open mouth, shooting milky ropes and groaning out.
Satoru gets paid to cum on pretty girls faces, and he gets paid a lot, with his best fucking friend - just how do you beat that? He grins as the livestream is popping off, and Suguru is delicate in swiping their cum all over her for one more money shot, Satoru leans over, stroking himself right on camera once more, to the many happy tips and replies of all his fans.
âAnd thatâs a wrap.â Satoruâs cocky voice follows a click, as he takes in just how much they made, whistling. âGoddamn, we should celebrate.â
âUm⊠guysâŠâ Satoru turns then, as his co-star is covered, and he laughs a bit, rushing to grab soft wet wipes for her.
âIâm sorry, shit!â Him and Suguru carefully clean her up, and now her manager walks in, along with Satoruâs and Suguruâs, a freshly cleaned costar hugs the two of them.
âThank you for letting me join, my OF is gonna blow up!â Satoru smiles then, while their managers all spread out the cut.
âOf course, you did great.â She beams, hugging Suguru now.
âAmazing, love.â
âYou all are the best!â Soon itâs just Satoru and Suguru with their managers, and Satoru is yawning, bored, still not dressed, cock just swinging and still huge on semi hard, much to his managerâs annoyance.
âWe have a big shoot tomorrow, donât be out partying.â He says, avoiding Satoruâs cock in his vision so much Satoru laughs.
âYeah, yeah.â
Satoru and Suguru absolutely listenâŠ
Not.
Theyâre smoking a blunt right in the middle of a Hollywood party, lit off their asses, perhaps they partook in a little coke to celebrate, but whoâs to say, just a residue of white in their nostrils to really know. Theyâre surrounded by women, free drinks all over of the highest quality, to celebrate breaking the bank with the star they shot with, why should they turn it down?
Satoru Gojo loves his life, really.
It feels good, itâs always busy, full of pretty women and an insane amount of money and fame, shit he loves to read comments on himself, but he wouldnât admit it, about how badly everyone wants him. And why wouldnât they? Satoru finds himself attractive as fuck, first and foremost. But at times, alone in that penthouse when Suguru would leave for days at a timeâŠ
Sometimes he got a little lonely, if he was being honest. Hollywood was full of fake and fleeting friends, and even costars wanted his fame, his cock, his money, not really him. But that was something Satoru shoves far, far back, instead returning his mind to the party at hand, a sea of bodies in a huge mansion right on the coast, littered with entangled and dancing bodies.
It all seems perfect, until Satoru sees someone walk in, a pretty girl who just doesnât fit in, she just sticks out, nervously clutching a teddy bear cased phone, pushing up her tortoiseshell glasses. As Satoru leans forward, and Suguru hands him a blunt, he canât get his fucking gaze of the girl, her baggie tan sweater, white pleated skirt and converse.
She stands out completely from the half naked women, many blondes with fake bodies, fake asses, fake tits⊠not that Satoru minded, he loves all tits and asses, silicon or not. But you look natural, your lips donât have all that filler, the lips youâre biting, but when your teeth release them, theyâre still full and fucking gorgeous, just a bit glossy, the low soft lights glinting off them.
The music of the party fades, everything fades, itâs like some stupid nineties rom com where the room parts, and itâs just this girl. A sweet girl with her hair falling over one shoulder, the other bare, and if Satoru could pick a body part thatâs oddly turning him on, itâs your bare shoulder, your collarbones, with a pretty necklace that looks like it must be your zodiac sign.
Someone comes up to you then, handing you a glass of champagne, and he watches you shift a bit, looking down shyly, tucking your hair behind your ear, eyes traveling up and down your body, dying to know what your outfit is hiding. Your eyes catch his suddenly, a sweet, shy smile that just fucks him up, itâs like youâve punched him in the fucking chest.
âSatoru⊠Satoru⊠earth to fucking Satoru⊠Mâgonna smoke all this blunt myself, then-â Satoru finally realizes Suguru is calling for him, when he waves a hand in front of Satoruâs face, ruining his field of vision.Â
âWho is she?â Satoru and Suguru know most of the industry, sex workers and actors alike, and he sure the fuck has never seen you. Suguru eyes you then, his lips quirking up as you look down shyly once more, poking at your phone.
âI donât know, sheâs pretty though.â Satoru scowls, and Suguru leans back on the crushed velvet couch, purple as his eyes, handing Satoru the much smaller blunt than he previously saw.
How long had he been staring?
âLooks like a good girl, donât corrupt her.â Satoru glares deeper, blue eyes glinting as he snatches up the blunt, wrapping his lips around the tip and inhaling that smoke deep in his lungs, leaning back and blowing the smoke up in a puffy cloud.
âJust curious, looks like she doesnât belong here.â Suguru shrugs, taking the brown paper tube back, ashing it in a tray along a dark black table, humming a bit to himself.
âWe donât date.â
âAnd?â
âShe doesnât⊠she looks like⊠she dates.â
âHuh, you can tell that?â Satoru raises a thin brow, and Suguru sighs, smirking a bit.
âI know lots of things.â
âYeah, whatever⊠Iâm talking to her.â Satoru stands up now, brushing his hands down his white dress shirt a bit, taking a breath.
Fuck is he nervous!?
Satoru Gojo, who strokes his dick on the camera, who grins as people comment that they want it in their mouths, their cunts, fuck- their asses, all their holes - filled up with his white cum. Satoru Gojo who is the top .01% of anyone on his OF, who has pro roles in the highest quality porn there was, was not a shy or nervous man, especially with women.
Why are his hands sweating then? His blood rushing through his ears every step he takes closer to you, your eyes lower a bit, so shy and cute and fucking precious, he has to smile a bit at you, drink in his hand, his other in the pocket of his dark armani slacks. He casually leans over a bit, as your eyes meet his, behind dark shades, his grin bright and enigmatic.
âHey sweetheart, Satoru Gojo.â He expects you to notice maybe, but you just smile, oblivious, holding out your hand, small in his huge grip, and Satoru has some insane urge to kiss it, that he gulps down.
The fuck is this.
This feeling just touching your skin, inhaling your scent, fuck you smell sweet like some cupcake, you have him intoxicated as his eyes dart to those lips, teeth indentations he feels an urge to run his thumb across. Your eyes look up from behind your own glasses, as the two of you just hold hands for a moment, just a moment, and Satoru can hardly describe just what it is drawing him like a magnet.
You give him your name, and he repeats it, making your own heart race just a bit at the tall stranger, when his blue eyes glint as he slides off his shades, snowy lashes lowering over beautiful blue irises, your breath is caught in your chest. Swirling blue storms unlike anything youâve ever seen, so intense and beautiful itâs almost difficult to look right at.
âAre you new to the area? OrâŠâ You giggle a bit, sipping on the bubbly champagne that tickles your nose just a bit.
âI look that out of place huh?â
âNo, youâre cute. Very cute. Pretty.â Heâs stuttering damn near, Satoru fucking Gojo, watching the flush that decorates your cheeks, as your lips touch the rim of the glass, and he canât stop thinking how much heâd like to kiss those little bite marks away.
âThank you, thatâs sweet.â
âSweet is not what Iâm usually called.â
âOh really? What are you usually called?â
âDaddy.â You nearly snort out your champagne then, covering your face in a fit of laughter, and he pouts now, swirling those shades casually.
âAre you serious?â
âOh yeah. They all do, they canât help it, you know.â
âMmhmm.â Youâre giggling so much you snort, so cute Satoru canât help but laugh with you, the first genuine one heâs done in a minute, not so forced to always appear so carefree. âI snorted, oh no!â
âItâs cute.â He brushes your hair between two of his fingers, and the both of you pause now, taking a breath, your lids lower just a bit, stepping closer, like Satoru himself is pulling you with his gravity. âWhat brings you here?â
âMy friend invited me! She said seven, so I came a little early⊠but sheâs not even on her way.â You sigh then, and he smirks just a bit.
âLA time is different. Twenty minutes late is on time, and forty minutes late is âfashionableâ. No one comes early.â
âShit!â You smack yourself in the forehead, and he takes your hand once more, enveloping your little one in his own.
âI can keep you company, want another drink?â
âUm⊠sure.â
Soon the two of you are sitting on one of the many couches in the taupe and white decorated mansion, the splashing and screeching of people in the pool mixing in a cacophony with the people dancing and the music inside. Satoruâs enraptured as you begin to talk, soft and thoughtful, while sipping on another glass, his arm just a bit across from you, behind your neck, fingers brushing your soft cashmere.
Every time he does you heat up that much more, you havenât been with someone you felt this comfortable with in⊠maybe, ever. The instant feeling that heâs a sweet guy, natural, funny, and you almost wonder why heâs wasting time on you, with all the elegant women in various states of undress. But his eyes donât even leave yours, his beautiful azure depths.
You canât be so interesting or beautiful, sure you are very pretty, but more soft and sweet and not the Hollywood babes that were all over. But heâs laughing right with you, he soon starts busting out purple and white fuzzy weed, breaking it up and starting to roll a blunt, and youâve never thought about being a paper until you watch a wicked pink tongue dart across it, long fingers sealing it.
âWhatâs wrong, donât smoke, sweets?â The nicknames make you shift nervously, heâs too charming, too handsome, fuck not even handsomeâŠ
Pretty.
Heâs too pretty to be real.
âAre you an actor, or model?â You blurt out, you donât have much⊠thought before your words. He blinks a bit in surprise, flipping that blunt to smoke it now, lighting it up, you watch the orange and red of the cherry as he inhales.
âHmm, a bit of both.â He exhales the puff of smoke, leaning closer to you, so close his thigh brushes yours, just that alone has your tummy fluttering.
âWhat are you in? Iâd love to see your work.â Satoru starts coughing now, uncontrollably, eyes wide, as you stare in concern, coming to tap on his back. âAre you okay!?â
âShit⊠yeahâŠâ Heâs coughing more, covering his mouth before looking away a moment, taking a breath.
Satoru was not ashamed of what he does for a living, and he never fucking will be either, but suddenly he doesnât know what to say. âIâm sorry, am I being nosy?â
âNo, no⊠want a hit?â Clearly trying to avoid the question, you wonder⊠was he in some flop of a movie or something?
âIâve never smoked.â Youâre looking down again, those converse pointing in as you shift once more, so adorable he really canât stand it.
âNever?â You shake your head, and he grins, teeth glinting as he leans even closer, holding the blunt up high, the smoke swirling around the two of you, creating an even headier atmosphere, like you could get high off him.
âNoâŠâ
âLet me be your first.â
âWhat now!? Youâre teasing me!â You cross your arms as he bursts into laughter, taking another hit.
âYouâre too adorable not to.â You canât help how good that makes you feel, he makes you feel⊠reckless, this stranger. âI can blow it in your mouth?â
âBlow it in myâŠâ You bite your lip again, Satoru leans forward, thumb releasing it from your row of teeth, and the action makes you both pause.
âYou bite it too much.â He murmurs softly, and just touching your soft lips, thumb touching the plush of it, is hotter than cumming on a girlâs face this morning, in fact heâs not done something so sensual.
The man who last night was banging a co-star in a mating press, the night before he had two women, one on his face, one riding his cock. The other day, him and Suguru shared another girl, this time dual penetrating her, fuck they were both in her pussy- she clearly was miraculous to take it. This week alone heâd done six shoots, with the best Hollywood had to offer.
But this girl blushing, whoâs never smoked a blunt, is so fucking sexy he barely holds back.
Heâs leaking precum from your proximity.
âWill blowing in my mouth get me⊠um, high?â Your words shake him from his revelry, where heâs still touching your pretty little chin, making him clear his throat, plastering on a cocky smile like your scent alone doesnât have him throbbing.
âA little, but not as intense as a hit yourself. Call it shotgun, youâve really never heard of it?â
You shake your head, scooting closer and leaning forward, that tan and brown sweater falling just a little more over your shoulder, as your lips are too close. Any other girl by now Satoru would have on his OF, or have in a bedroom, a bathroom, maybe just here on this couch for everyone. Heâd have his fingers on them, have them sucking him off.
But heâs just enjoying barely touching you.
Satoru shakes his head, wondering if heâs so high heâs imagining how intense this must be, but looking back down into your pretty eyes behind your glasses, he canât shove it down. âTrust me?â
âShould I?â He wiggles his brows, grinning.
âMaybe you shouldnât, maybe itâs a ploy to kiss you.â Youâre giggling again, sighing now, and tilting your chin up, your hand resting on his thigh, while he cups your face.
âI doubt you need to ploy anyone into kissing them.â
âNever have before, no.â
âThen⊠I trust you.â You lean forward again, eyes fluttering shut, your lashes just barely brushing the glasses, and he pauses, before inhaling the blunt deep into his lungs, tilting your chin up and opening your lips.
âSuck in.â His words carry far too much intent, when he blows his smoke directly into your mouth, and you do just that, sucking in all the smoke you can, as he sighs into your sweet mouth, lips full and plush on your own.
Fuck.
Satoru blows all the smoke, and youâre sucking it in. âGood girl.â
Fuck.
You almost die then, coughing a bit, embarrassingly wet for him, and this is not normal. Youâre a girl who has to have a relationship to have sex, youâre a girl who has to really know someone, feel so comfortable, but Satoru Gojo was completely wrecking you now. You let the smoke go, the fog rising, when he leans low once more, one hand pulling you closer.
âAnother?â He asks in a whisper, you canât stop but nodding, watching his plump lips circle that blunt again, and heâs blowing it back in your mouth, pulling you closer, while you inhale it deep. He pulls back a bit now, as youâre holding it, sighing. âBlow it back in my mouth.â
You do as he asks, and soon your tongues touch, sloppy and drippy wet, making you whine out from the back of your throat, the sound making Satoru fucking feral. You kiss fully, your hand slipping up his shirt now, lightheaded from the smoke and his ardent kiss, how he possesses your fucking mouth, and the blood rushes to your ears, your head so light and fuzzy.
âFuckâŠâ His words come out in a low growl, pulling you even closer, until one of your thighs is over his, and heâs pressing a kiss across your jaw, up to your ear, youâre gripping his soft, expensive shirt like your life depends on it, whimpering so softly only he can hear. âTaste so sweet, do you everywhere?â
âI⊠huh⊠I⊠mmmâŠâ Youâre dizzy when he nips your ear, a big hand brushing your waist, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake, before he pulls back, eyes so bright, his pupils shrunk to little pinpoints now. âGojoâŠâ
âSatoru.â
Youâre blushing furiously, eyeing your surroundings, when youâre soaked now, it feels so⊠naughty but exciting, fuck. You have to gather yourself, taking several shaky breaths, as heâs leaning down further, your heat against one of his thighs now. âSatoru um⊠I need a moment. That was intense.â
âShit, of course.â He pulls back, taking his own breath, putting out the blunt now, eyeing the glossy redness of your now swollen lips.
He can picture them so perfectly wrapped around the tip of his cock. So innocent, did you do that? Would he have to show you, direct you? The perfect angle of your eyes, the way to open your mouth, how to take him deep down that little throat, one he can imagine seeing his cock bulge out of. All the thoughts are running insane while you lean back a bit, hands loosening their grip on his shirt finally.
âWant a drink, sweets?â You nod now, your eyes are so dilated they look black, glasses just a little fogged from his breath and the smoke.
âYes, please. You didnât tell me um, what movies can I find you in?â
âLike looking at me?â Heâs cocky, conceited, but you just nod a bit, making him falter now. âIndie films, low budget, obscure.â
âOh? I love indie flicks!â He grimaces now, a girl whoâs never smoked weed and screams inexperienced may not like him if she knew he cums on girls' tits and their faces for money.
He wants to just say it.
ButâŠ
âYouâve not heard of âem. Letâs get you a drink, hmm pretty?â You nod shyly, standing with his help, and soon the two of you have made it in the center of one of the main party rooms, there are women getting lines done off them, men with several women on them at once, all kissing, grinding, along with those dancing. And now Satoru has your hips in his grip, showing you how to roll them.
Youâre not a dancer, a little awkward and off beat, but youâre laughing, a pretty peal of a sound that melts him, and he canât remember the last time he has had so much fun, as he does working you in a figure eight, kissing your neck teasingly. Youâre ticklish, he really notices when his fingertips graze your hips under your sweater, earning your little gasp and look up at him.
âCute.â
âYou keep saying that, like Iâm a little kitten!â
âMaybe you are. Or a little bunny.â
âOh!â Youâre giggling though, when you turn and get just a little dizzy, but he captures you, and you finally say it. âUm⊠why talk to me?â
Satoru frowns now, thin brows together, as the song is slower, and youâre damn near grinding against his thigh, with how he holds you. âWhat do you mean why?â
âYouâre so⊠thereâs so manyâŠâ
âShh.â He puts a fingertip to glossy lips, taking a breath. âIâm enjoying myself, are you sweetheart?â
âYes butâŠâ
âWant a secret?â You nod and he leans down, breath tickling the shell of your ear. âYouâre the prettiest girl here.â
âNo way!â
âMmhmm, and Iâd know. Expert.â You tuck your face against his chest, giggling again, as your arms wrap his torso tighter.
âYouâre being too nice.â
âNo, just saying what I think. But your cheeks turn a really pretty color, donât they?â
âShh.â You look back up, eyes glittering, and it takes everything for Satoru not to take you then and there, lap up that heat he can feel emanating from your surely pretty little cunt. You peck a kiss on his neck, earning a little exhale, when Satoru pulls your little body even closer against his, so huge, tall, hard, everywhere. âSatoruâŠâ
Suddenly your friend hits your field of vision, pausing and widening her pretty eyes as she takes in the sight of you two. You clear your throat, tapping Satoru then, whose hands are dangerously close to gripping your ass, your scent overtaking him, the feel of you in his arms driving him insane with need. He blinks a bit, as he then turns where youâre pointing.
âMy friend!â Youâre grinning then, and Satoruâs heart drops just a bit, when he recognizes her, since heâd been inside her just last week.
Shit.
âCome meet Satoru!â Youâre bouncing practically as you drag Satoru by his hand, and your friend smiles just a bit, as Satoru clears his throat, and youâre adorable and oblivious.
âWeâve met.â You blink a bit in surprise at her words, looking at Satoru, whoâs put back on his shades, hand that was on the small of your back falling.
âOh, where? A movie set? She does some acting too!â Your best friend takes your hand then, as Satoru looks away.
âYeah, a set. Um, can I steal you baby?â She asks, brushing your hair back, you nod with a pretty smile.
âIâll be back!â Satoru smiles a bit, cursing softly, when Suguru comes walking up to him, sipping on a whiskey, eyeing the two girls.
âDidnât youâŠâ
âFuck her friend? Yep.â He answers with a pop of his lips, hand brushing his hair back then, sighing. âShit I really like her.â
âLike her or want her?â
âBoth. More. Shit.â Suguru contemplates his friend, then eyes you and your friend together.
âHer friend is Jenna Juggs?â
Satoruâs lips quirk up a bit. âShe is indeed. Fuck I need a drink, I am sure she wonât want to talk to me now.â
âSince when do you care?â
âShut up.â Satoruâs all pouty, and you frown now, looking up at Jenna, who is tugging you far away.
âWhatâs going on? You always say I need to try to meet someone!â
âYes, butâŠâ She sighs now, looking over at him, then back down at you. âYou really donât recognize him?â
âHe said heâs in like⊠indie films?â She snorts just a bit then, shaking her head and sighing.
âIndie films huh. Babe arenât you on my OF?â
âTo support you! Iâve never looked, oh god.â Jenna giggles, sighing.
âI thought you peeked a bit huh?â
âNo. I read my porn.â
âSo classy.â You both giggle, and you feel blue eyes boring across the room, sending a shiver down your spine as you look over your shoulder.
âIâm not any better than you because you like to watch or⊠participate. But anyway, whatâs OF have to do with it?â
âWe⊠collabed last week.â You watch her shift a bit, eyelashes lowering as she now giggles at the memory, and you feel your tummy clench just a bit, eyes catching Satoruâs again, heâs leaning against a counter, ignoring everyone that comes his way with a casual shrug of his shoulders.
âCollabed as inâŠâ She nods a little, and you exhale. âOh.â
âHeâs a huge name, like the top porn star there is, him and his friend over there.â You see him now, long dark hair, as tall as Satoru, leaning against the counter right with him, but Satoru still hasnât peeled his eyes off you. âIt was a big deal to get him to join, and heâs really sweet butâŠâ
âBut?â You raise a brow now, and your friend brushes her hair back, looking in their direction again.
âHeâs amazing in bed, like the best Iâve had.â
âAh⊠that good?â Youâre clearing your throat nervously, drinking your glass slowly, trying to ignore the odd feelings in your tummy.
Were you really envious right now?
You shouldnât feel this way, sheâs your best friend and you donât even know him, but also you could never justâŠ
Could you?
âHe hasnât dated a single girl in the eight years heâs done porn, him or his friend, notoriously single even for the industry.â
âShit are they together?â She laughs a bit then.
âPeople certainly ship them butâŠâ
âShip, like characters, are they that famous?â
âMmhmm. Now if you just want to have fun, heâs amazing but I know you.â She puts one of her hands on your shoulders now, cool thumb running little circles on your bare shoulder. âYouâre sweet, innocent and you want love.â
âIâve done things!â
âWith how many people?â
You sigh now, drinking the rest of your drink in a gulp. âJust my ex.â
âThatâs what I figured, and thatâs fine baby, if you need a connection, or something deep? Heâs not it. Thatâs all, I see how much fun you were having, and I donât want you hurt if he gets⊠what he wants and goes. In this industry how you see sex is very different.â
âAh. I get it, you think he just wants toâŠâ You canât even say it, fuck youâd been wet, ready, and you were never like that with a stranger, your experience as a demisexual just is limited, where you crave connection, comfort, and meaning behind sex, you canât just âhave funâ.
But heâd had you questioning it all, because you felt something in that kiss- was it just his experience?
âHeâs walking sex, I canât blame you one bit. And I support anything you do- shit I highly recommend it. But youâŠâ
âYeah no, I am not into hooking up. Iâm glad you told me but⊠something about himâŠâ You trail off then, swallowing nervously, as her hands come to your sides, and she hugs you closely.
âI know, it doesnât mean you canât talk to him, but you had to know.â She nibbles on a nail then, lashes lowering. âHe gives mean backshots, if you go that route.â
âJenna!â Youâre both giggling, and the party goes on then, the two of you smiling and waving as you keep finding each other around the room, soon Jenna is good and sauced, and you know you need to make sure you both get home okay. But you canât help but stop by Satoru before you go, nervously fidgeting with your hands in front of you.
âHey sweets, heading out?â He asks softly, a hand coming to grip your wrist, swallowing it with his long fingers, you eye the connection, feeling yourself heat up at it, trying to remind yourself, itâs him âdripping sexâ itâs his job. Maybe he thinks youâre pretty enough not to fuck for a shoot, maybe heâd actually like to know you a bit, but her words hit hard.
âSatoru, do you date?â Your words make him pause. âNot me, just in general.â
âDo I date?â He blinks a bit, lips opening, then shutting. âShe told you.â
âI would never judge, my best friend does it, if anything Iâm envious that you all can just do that.â Your eyes are glimmering just a bit, now his hand slips up your wrist, thumb brushing the delicate veins there, sighing. âI just wanted to clarify that part.â
âI havenât dated since like college, no.â
âAnd youâreâŠâ
âTwenty eight.â You nod a bit now, calculating, a good eight years since heâs dated- since heâs been in the industry. âI was enjoying our time.â
âI was too, very much. Got me high you know.â He grins then, and you canât help but smile back, heart racing in your chest - and you realize it, Jenna is right. What youâre feeling from one meeting could hurt you. âIâd still like to be friends?â
âFriends, hmm?â You nod as he leans down, his other hand pressing against the nip of your waist, pulling you against him, watching the catch of your breath, the dilation of your pupils. Youâre biting that lower lip again, a little soft whine in the back of your throat escaping.
âIâd love to be. I really like you, Satoru.â He melts for you then, at your cute little smile, your hand slipping up his chest. âI had a lot of fun tonight.â
âSo did I. Friends, then, I could use some.â He kisses your lips softly, a mere brush, thatâs not what friends should feel from a little kiss, right? That ache between your thighs, your pulse racing, as he canât stop thinking how good you feel in his arms, thinking heâd like you to stay.
âMe too, maybe youâll make me a stoner, hmm?â
He laughs then, genuine and charming. Itâs hard to think of him âgiving Jenna backshotsâ a mix of sweet and charming, you try to remember just that. âSo she didnât have a bad review for me?â
âQuite the opposite, youâre apparently the best in the industry.â The softness and break in your voice makes him pause, usually heâd be cocky about hearing that, but he doesnât know just how that makes him feel. âI havenât watched your kind of work, Iâm afraid.â
âI didnât think so. Too obscure.â
âClearly.â You both laugh softly again, you are leaning back now, taking a breath, trying to remember yourself, but itâs hard when all you can think of is his lips.
âCan I have your number?â Satoru Gojo has never asked for a girlâs number, but he damn near gets giddy when you nod, slipping out your phone, giving it to him then, which he saves under your name.
âI donât do casual, Iâve never even kissed someone Iâm not serious about. Um⊠but I really had fun.â
That innocent?
He figured close to it butâŠ
âDid I corrupt you so much in one night?â
âMaybe so. I have to get my friend home safe, so I will talk to you sometime?â
âAny time.â He brushes your hair back again, kissing your cheek once more, your eyes shut at how good it feels, sighing.
When youâre gone, Satoru does not like the feeling left.
The rest of the party is dimmed now, he canât stop thinking about you, about watching you inhale that smoke, about watching your cute, shy little fucking smile, but why would you like him, he fucked your best friend last week. And youâre clearly a good girl, a sweet girl, and thatâs what he would do - corrupt you.
But the thoughts of corrupting you start taking over, so intense he can hardly stand it, imagining teaching you everything. How to arch your ass up just right for him, have you cum so hard youâd squirt and drip down his cock, fuck heâd love to watch your eyes roll back in your head, as he hits spots heâs sure no one ever has, cumming so hard you cry pretty tears.
Itâs so ridiculous heâs throbbing, and as some of his co-stars come and flirt with him, he can barely give them a little smile, a playful wink, turning down the endless opportunities tonight with one excuse- âheâs tiredâ - is about all he can come up with. Because what is this!?
Whatâs the feeling that night when youâre laying in your bed, scrolling through your friendâs OF for the first time, heating up as you scroll, youâve seen her naked a ton, youâve taken her pictures, but when you see her bent over, and that sexy white haired man wrapping an arm around her waist? His other hand, wrapped around her throat, and her eyes rolled back?
The scene alone without clicking play is too much, youâre trembling, imagining pressing play, hesitating. You barely know him, but something clicked tonight, you had fun for the first time in forever, but to know that you maybe already developed a crush on someone unattainable seems a cruel joke.
Hopelessly single because youâre so picky, because a lot of time your interests donât align - how could you like someone who doesnât think Lord of the Rings is a classic, for example - or if youâre not feeling something. Your friends think you put too much into it, they think you should let go and have fun, and maybe you did, tonight, but that was because of him.
You keep furiously flushing as you go back and forth, thumb hovering over the screen, Jenna wouldnât care if you saw, and maybe Satoru wouldnât, but something feels so different to you, so naughty, like inhaling smoke from his mouth tonight. You keep shutting the phone off, then turning it back on, when suddenly you get a text from him.
Itâs a really mean joke someoneâs playing on you.
You - Thank you, I did! I hope you did too.
You canât look at the video! Can you?
Satoruâs laid up in his bed, picturing you, god he can taste your lips on his still, swiping a hand over his face as you send some little emoji, far, far too cute, so cute you make him ache. He wonders then just what is it about you, surely youâre beautiful, but it canât just be that.
He canât get you off his mind.
You canât stop yourself from pressing play.
Your breath catches when you finally do, and you see it, him fucking Jenna, looking right at the fucking camera, a smirk and blue eyes, as he thrusts up inside of her. You donât enjoy porn, itâs not intimate enough for you- but looking at him makes your cunt throb, you touch it to find it hopelessly drenched, watching him manhandle and flip her like sheâs nothing, right on her back.
You watch him put your best fucking friend in a mating press, watch him smack his cock against her tummy, pulling his condom off, cumming on her then. When you get a good look at his pretty pink tip, veiny long cock and ropes of fucking cum, you mindlessly touch your cunt, soaking your sleep shorts, crying out before you catch yourself, cursing.
You shut it off, huffing and yanking the blankets over your face.
It must be⊠the drinks, the smoke, him, making you act this way. A good book with meaning, a perfect man in your head, thatâs what you want, what you need, right? Not whatever he was doing to your mentality, fuck itâs your friend too, how could you ever get wet to that?
âFuck this.â You grumble, swiping away from your friendâs OF, but the image is firmly burned into your mind, of Satoru moaning with his lips parted, jerking his cock along her in pretty patterns. You pull up your book instead, filling your mind with anything and everything else, when another text pops up.
Satoru - Good night, sweetheart.
You just watched him cum, now you feel horrible, ugh! What is up with you tonight!? Heâs probably being friendly and youâre over here touching your sensitive little clit watching him. You struggle to compose yourself, finally having to go wipe up, splashing yourself with cold water in your little bathroom, you dry your hands on a towel, looking at yourself in the mirror for a moment.
You look fucked up.
You finally text him back.
You - Good night, Satoru, sweet dreams.
Satoru canât stop the dopey smile on his face, cock annoying and throbbing, and instead of letting it get taken care of, heâd just focused on how badly he wanted you, how much he canât get you off his mind. Fuck just your shampoo and whatever heavenly fucking body spray spritzed on you made him harder to remember, how pretty youâd look in his bed, under him.
âFriendsâ, youâd like to be âfriendsâ.
Satoru doesnât think anything in his mind was friend appropriate currently, not when heâs stroking himself, crying out and picturing just peppering your shoulder and neck with kisses, biting you, marking you. Leaving bruises along a perfect neck while you grip his hair, crying out, head falling back. Having your heat he could still feel on his fingers.
As youâre struggling to calm down, Satoruâs giving up, jerking off for the first time maybe in forever alone, sure he does for videos, but he doesnât have to make himself cum often when everyone was lining up to suck him. But instead heâs stroking a famous cock thinking of a sweet girl with a brown sweater that falls just so, hiding a body heâs dying to know.
As youâre finally asleep, mind racing, heâs cumming ropes into his palm, picturing much better places for this cum- like inside your sweet little cunt - and thatâs one thing Satoru Gojo does not do. Trying to come down himself, cleaning up, he looks in the mirror, seeing the pink of his own cheeks, shaking his head then.
He looks fucked up off you.
*****
While you are at work that next monday, sitting at your desk typing away, Satoru Gojo has an entirely different sort of work to accomplish, this time with his costar Sukuna, who he frequently worked with, and the two of them either popped off on each other or competed for who could make the girl squirt the most. Sukuna was currently lapping at the co-starâs cunt with his pierced tongue.
Sheâs sheâs bent over sucking Satoruâs cock with expert suction, and he should be loving it, heâs worked with her before and she is a sweetheart and highly fucking skilled, and this shoot pays extremely well. A win win, even with Sukuna running it, currently at least his mouth was occupied. The director zooms right in, maybe thatâs whatâs bothering him, the cameras, the bright lighting.
Satoruâs cock is not staying hard, even as sheâs choking back moans with the pink haired munch of a man going so intense, her nails gripping Satoruâs thighs so tightly, pressing in. He tries to focus on how it feels, shutting his eyes, but all he can think of is you.
Your lips.
Your eyes.
Those glasses on the bridge of your nose.
How you shift your fucking thighs, heated from desire.
God, he canât stop thinking of you, what if you saw him on a video? Would it make your surely pretty pussy wet? Heâs suddenly hard fully once more, grabbing his co-starâs hair and shoving his cock so deep sheâs choking, gasping, but he canât manage to open those eyes until the director says something then.
âGojo, the eyes- look at the camera.â He sighs now, they were part of his money, the eyes that no one had, the ones that entranced so many, he manages to open them, eyeing the camera, but instead of his usual smirk there is a pout, and his co-star pulls back, frowning just a bit, as Sukuna pulls away from her cunt, tattooed face glistening.
Amongst the most famous pornstars, Sukuna rivaled Satoru- the alternative, rougher version perhaps to the pretty boy, he slips two fingers in her cunt, and she moans, as he eyes Satoru. âWhoâs fucking her first?â
âMe, of course.â Sukuna chuckles, her cunt is so loud itâs squishing and clicking, much to the delight of the director, and Satoru has her on top of him then, as Sukuna guides her onto his cock, slapping her ass loudly. Satoru struggles, gulping as she sinks on him over his condom.
It feels warm and good butâŠ
He canât even look at her.
Sheâs bouncing up and down him while Sukuna plays with her from the back, and Satoru forgets heâs even on a set, lips parted in a sigh as he looks away, and realizes heâs gone soft again. âIs something wrong?â She asks softly, he shakes his head now, gripping her hips.
âNo, no itâs fine, wanna ride him for me?â She nods, and Satoru then helps her ride Sukunaâs cock, as he kisses down her shoulder, shutting his eyes once more, trying to hide how soft he is and failing.
âCut.â The director calls, Satoru sighs, as Sukuna moans, yanking her down his length, and her head falls back. âI said cut.â
âWe can fuck while weâre waiting for him to get on board.â Sukuna grins up at her as she giggles, and Satoru glares. âGo get a viagra.â
âI donât need one, fuck itâs just⊠the lights.â
âNeed a break Gojo?â His director asks, and he manages a nod. âGo ahead to the dressing room, weâll⊠make sure they are ready to go when you come back.â
âSheâll be fucked out before you get it up.â
âWhatever Sukuna, fuck you.â Sukuna snorts in laughter, Satoru stomps over to the dressing room, cursing then and resting his head against that door, taking several breaths and scowling at his cock. âWork, shitâŠâ
What is this!?
A pretty girl at a party shouldnât ruin his whole cock, ruin his enjoyment, cloud his goddamn mind, a girl whoâs a - friend - whatâs his problem!? Heâs sitting down on the couch then over a towel, still literally naked, stroking it, once, twice, three times. Nothing helps, the condom hanging just so off his cock, when he grimaces, pulling it off and tossing it in the trash, pulling out his phone, and he pauses at your name.
Satoru - Hey sweets, I donât have a pic for your caller ID, could you send one?
He tenses as he sees you immediately typing, cock twitching right back to life from three stupid dots wiggling. He bets youâre biting that lip.
You are.
Youâre nervous as you look around your quiet workplace, youâre a graphic designer and itâs a little late, so youâre nearly alone, finishing a project, when you see he wrote to you. The man you have not looked back up, but itâs taken every bit of self control not to watch his content, and boy does he have so much, up to and including his own asmr.
Thatâs dangerous.
Heâs dangerous.
Because you could never just enjoy him for who he is, you would want more, fuck you already feel it, the odd sensation knowing heâs likely fucking someone constantly, picturing yourself wildly for a moment with him behind you. Surely you couldnât be a co-star, youâd flip on camera, too shy, but you keep envisioning it regardless, him choking you as he sinks deep.
Stop that.
You turn in your big black chair, spinning it just a bit, seeing the beautiful soft lighting of the upcoming evening pouring in through the floor to ceiling windows, deciding itâs good lighting. Your chest rises and falls with your nerves, you didnât know how to be sexy in photos, but do you want to?
You do.
Fuck you do.
Youâre leaning back and angling the phone just so, glasses off for a moment on your desk, since theyâd been giving you a bit of a headache, throwing a peace sign and parting your lips, you donât know exactly how to pose. You knew what art was, what beauty was, but a little clueless how to angle yourself like your friend Jenna has always been able to.
After peering through a few photos, brows drawn together in concentration, you send one his way, heâs viewed it and he instantly hearts it, making you exhale, relieved that maybe he thinks itâs cute enough. But little do you know, you have him full hard now, thumb brushing his leaky tip, making him whimper, picturing rubbing his cock right on those pretty lips of yours.
God youâre just in a blouse but he can see your nipples pressing from the material, begging for him to pluck them, suck them, and he canât stand the longing, the need making his body ache. He curses softly, wiping a sticky thumb on his towel, trying to compose himself, heâs acting like some stupid lovesick boy, not the entire star he knows he is.
And your eyes, eyes he didnât get a good enough look at, so fucking gorgeous, itâs hard to look away, but as he does, he notices more, your bitten lips, the gentle slope of your neck, the way you have little marks from the pads of your glasses on the sides of your pretty nose. God, all of you is delectable.
Satoru - Gorgeous, thank you. Saved.
You - Thank you, Satoru um, can I have one too?
He smirks now, because if he was good at anything - aside from making women cum - it was taking the perfect selfie. Heâs lifting the camera high, showing far too much of his strong chest, his rippled, cut abdomen, down to those v cuts and his veins running just above his snowy white pubic hair. Not his cock, of course, but enough for you to get the idea.
He sends it with a smirk, and you open it with a gasp, eyeing a body you saw somewhat in the shoot, but nothing looks quite like whatâs in front of you right now on your screen. Heâs got his brilliant eyes bright and lidded, tousled white hair, lips parted just so, making your lips tingle at the memory. You touch them longingly as you study his body, glistening with sweat.
Fuck heâs sexy.
You shift in your office chair, sighing, putting back on your glasses for an even deeper inspection- and since when are you so turned on by looks? Youâre into who someone is, of course looks are great, but to have your pussy clenching over a picture is insanity.
And for Satoru to have a raging hard cock over a selfie is batshit insane, but here the two of you are, you saving an obscenely sexual photo, and him saving a demure little picture, both smiling at them. But then you frown a bit, taking in the couch, the lighting, realizing it then.
You - Are you on a shoot?
Satoru - Yes.
Why does that make you feel just a little envious of whoever gets to kiss and touch on him?
Why does it make you a little jealous of who gets him on them, his plump lips on their skin?
You shake it off, smiling tremulously as your hands shake, typing aÂ
I know youâll kill it, have fun! Got the pic saved thanks. <3
Satoru leans his head back again, before looking at your photo once more, rushing out before his cock decides not to work again, slipping on another condom. When heâs gripping her hips and smiling at the camera as he does, however, he doesnât know if he can keep it up, luckily heâs so huge she barely notices, while sheâs gushing down his latex covered cock.
Heâs encouraging her, pressing his thumb against her clit, while sheâs sucking on Sukuna, and he tries to remember how amazing his life is, and focus, surely this is something that will pass. Some infatuation, and heâll get back to normal in no time, heâs sure of it.
Right?
******
Wrong.
After a string of highly unsuccessful shoots that Satoruâs had to push off on Suguru and Sukuna, heâs decided the only hope for it is to give in and jerk his cock to your pictures. That week youâve sent others, all cute and innocent, but how do you manage to make him so obsessed? Every pretty inch of skin you show heâd litter with bruises.
Not that there was much skin shown, the plush of your thighs over cute knitted knee high socks, and god youâre as hot with your glasses as you were without, he couldnât figure out what he liked more. Your shoulders are just a little bare, begging for his teeth to sink into them, since when he is so turned on by hints of skin than soaking wet costars?
The first time he jerks it, he cums so much he knows the best solution, to focus on his solo career, at least until whatever the fuck this is - this obsession - could pass. Heâs making bank as he does them, actually, and he canât help but grin as heâs become the top onlyfans creator, stroking his cock for so many of his fans, all while he can prop his phone up and look at what new selfie youâve sent.
âHah- I know, itâs pretty, isnât it?â Heâs winking right at that camera, stroking faster and faster, spitting down on his tip, spreading it with a lewd squishing sound as the comments go insane.
Satoru cum for us!
Itâs so pretty
Want a taste
Want it in me
What a win-win, making bank for stroking it to you, all while getting his ego filled by all the comments, heâs stroking his ego with his length, smirking as his free hand uses the mouse to scroll down. âAh, I know, itâs huge, is it sensitive, mmm⊠a little bit if I do this.â
Heâs twisting just so, eliciting a little cry, when he sees a name pop up, pausing his movements- and youâre staring right at Satoru Gojoâs live stream, heart hammering, worried heâd notice you. His little look of shock confirms it, as his hand finally slides back down his shaft, and your eyes follow the movement, so hungry for him you canât stand it.
When Jenna teased Satoru had a live stream - she clearly knows now that you are infatuated with him, god heâs all you can think about, daydreaming at work, in your sleep heâs kissing you everywhere with those plump lips. You couldnât help but talk to Jenna about him again, and she sighed, smiling at you.
âYou never know, people change, maybe you two should at least hang out?â Youâd repeated it softly, shaking your head. âNo?â
âWhy would he want to?â
âWell, I heard heâs had no shoots for a bit, and is doing solo things, maybe you could peek?â
You canât believe youâre on Satoru Gojoâs onlyfans live.
You canât believe you fucking subscribed to him, too.
And now itâs like heâs looking right fucking at you.
Shit.
He begins stroking his cock once more, murmuring - âI see a new subscriber here, like what you see?â
Heâs so pretentious.
ButâŠ
You do love it, his veiny cock, which leaks precum on his flat belly button over tense abs, pale thighs spread, muscled and perfect, god all of him was. But something was a little more than just his looks, which sounds insane, but it wasnât those looks that made you - fuck, lowkey obsessed!?- with him, it was so much more. His eyes elicit far, far too many feelings.
You take a breath for courage, before leaving a comment.
Do you taste sweet everywhere?
Your comment sends him as he reads it, blinking snowy lashes and pausing, while on the other side youâre covering your mouth, panicking- did you really just say that, shit!? Youâre taking several breaths, hand on your mouse, ready to leave the chat, as the comments pop off, going insane, asking the question over and over, but Satoru strokes his pretty cock ever so slowly, leaning forward.
He cums when he starts picturing your cute little embarrassed face, he canât stop himself, knowing youâre watching has him so sensitive, heâs cumming so much it feels so fucking good. His moans are low and gutteral as his cum starts pouring over his slick fist, and youâre watching avidly, breath caught in your chest, heart fucking hammering, so wet itâs dripping through your panties.
Youâre on the edge of your seat when he finally opens those blue eyes, to the endless tips pouring in for him, but heâs thinking of just one viewer-
You.
âDo I taste sweet everywhere?â Heâs murmuring your name- youâre so dumb to have it as your real name, shit- but the way he chuckles, his eyes going insane as he lifts his hand off his cock then? âLetâs see.â
Heâs bringing a white, sticky coated finger to his mouth now, sucking his own milky seed off them, cheeks hollowing as he does, and you canât help the soft whine that escapes, grinding against your seat, desperate for some fucking friction. Heâs insane, surely, youâve never even thought of it, a man sucking his cum up, itâs so sexy and just obscene it fucks you mentally.
Just who is this freaky ass porn star!?
Heâs chuckling now, like he can somehow see your damn reaction from behind the screen, itâs like itâs just you and him, and not a fucking stream full of people, as the tips go insane. The comments are going so quickly he canât keep up with them, grinning as he sucks more of his cum off another thick, long finger youâd love buried inside of you.
âHmm, I do taste sweet.â He watches as you tip hundreds, smirking before you log completely off.
He pauses now, youâd had him so fucked up he went full out, he wonders if heâs scared your innocent ass off, sighing now, ending the stream with a laugh and a friendly little good bye, as he always does. He has made so much money itâs stupid, and surely you encouraging his little stunt helped, but now he canât help but call you after heâs cleaned up the mess youâve made of him.
You watch the phone vibrate and ring, jumping damn near, covering your hands with your mouth as you see his name, with his half naked fucking picture. Shit, shit, shitâŠ
You slowly pick it up, eyes shut. âIâm sorry.â
âSorry for what- did you like the show?â His voice is so arrogant and cocky, but you hear it then, the vulnerability under his layers. âI liked that you joined.â
âYou did?â Your voice is practically a squeak, he chuckles a bit, laying back on his bed now, phone against his face.
âI did. Now, what did you think?â
âYouâre⊠really⊠this is embarrassing!â
âItâs not, I promise. Iâm flattered.â You sigh now, leaning back in your seat, wishing the air overhead would cool your overheated skin. âAnswer me, be a good girl.â
âSatoru, god.â Heâs chuckling, but your nipples are pressing out, taut and needy, cunt gushing so much itâs embarrassing. âI liked it but I never do these things.â
âThen Iâm more flattered. Iâm taking all your firsts.â
âStop it, you're so ridiculous.â Youâre laughing with him then, softly, shaking your head. âHowâd you notice me with all those fans?â
âYou certainly stand out.â His husky admittal makes you feel far too much, and the next thing out of your mouth makes you question everything.
âSatoru this is stupid and reckless-â
âPerfect, sounds fun!â
âHush.â You sigh as he grows quiet, words stuck in his throat, how heâd do anything just to see how you taste. âI watched some of you with Jenna.â
He pauses, heart hammering. âShit, yeah?â
âYeah. Youâre really good at it, um, pleasing.â
âI love to have a pussy drooling on my fingers,â heâs murmuring so fucking soft now, youâre struggling to compose yourself. âMy mouth, my cock, fuck my whole face soaked, I love it.â
âOh?â
Heâs chuckling again. âOh. Cute.â
âShh. Give me a moment, what if you showed me some things? Off camera, please, I could never-â
âHuh!? What!?â Youâre panicking again, embarrassed as he canât believe his fucking ears.
A chance with you?
Fuck.
âSorry itâs so rude- thatâs your job, and I know you donât date, but I thought maybe since I feel so comfortable-â
âYou feel comfortable with me?â His words are softer now, your eyes shut, sucking in a breath.
âVery. Oddly comfortable, and well Iâve only been with one person, I am sitting here waiting for some romance book love I guess? Itâs stupid.â
âWhyâs it stupid?â He frowns as he leans his head against his mirror now, standing and trying to pull himself together, cock leaking already thinking of you in his bed.
âI donât know if itâll happen but, youâre so sweet and gorgeous and⊠Iâm going on too much.â
âJust say what you want, sweetheart.â
âYou to show me things.â Youâre shutting your eyes again, waiting for the rejection, but he shocks you once more.
âThen Iâll send a car to get you.â
âNow!?â
âItâs LA, itâll be thirty minutes at least, if you live where you said, over by that coffee shop on Main right?â
âYou remember?â
Of course he does.
âYou wanna learn, sweetheart? Iâll teach you anything.â
âLike, free?â Heâs chuckling again, the sound so genuine it just makes the ache grow, youâre crazy for this, right?
âYes free, youâre adorable. Okay then send your address and get ready. Eat something, drink something with electrolytes.â
âWha-!?â Heâs smirking as he eyes his shower, surely he has enough time to wash up for you first.
âGonna need energy, sweetheart. Lots of it.â
When youâre standing there at the door of Satoru Gojoâs penthouse, and he leans down, his hand on the doorway, veins bulging from his bare arm, hair tousled and still damp, you know it then. When he brushes fingers across your damp hair, bringing it to his nostrils and inhaling your scent, you know it more. But especially when he tilts your chin up, and murmurs - come in.
Heâs going to hurt you, but youâll enjoy the pain.
Ahhh I can't believe all the love the hcs got, like that blew me away, I SO hope you love this, and will enjoy where these two go! I always say - oh this will be four parts- but they always go longer so lol. I hope you all enjoyy I'm so excited to hear what you think! Taglist is closed bc it's so long I'm sorryyy
I feel like so many people need to remember this stuff from Silver Flames
âAfter the war, I was in a bad place. I still am, I suppose, but for more than a year after the war âŠI did a lot of things I regret. Hurt people I regret harming. And I hurt myself. I drank day and night and I âŠI took strangers to my bed. To punish myself, to drown myself.â
âYouâve probably guessed that my residency in the House, my training, my work in the library is my sisterâs attempt to help me.â Her sister whom she had still not apologized to, whom she still didnât have the courage to face. âAnd I ⊠I think I might be glad Feyre did this for me. The drinking, the malesâI donât miss any of it. But the music ⊠that I miss.â
None of the inner circle, or readers, are upset that Nesta simply drank, spent money, or had sex.
No one is slut shaming Nesta. None of the inner circle are just disgusting that sheâs drinking a lot or having sex or partying. Because, guess what? the entire inner circle did that for years. And we as readers know that. They like to drink and party. Theyâve had sex plenty of times with plenty of different people.
But inner circle werenât drinking all day, every single day, for months to hurt themself. Nesta was.
The inner circle werenât sleeping around to numb the pain and trauma they experienced. Nesta was.
The inner circle also recognize the trauma that comes from after a war and the guilt that theyâve felt before and theyâre recognizing it in nesta.
Rhys and Feyre arenât just mad that nesta is spending their money. Rhys canonically is super rich, pays his people very well, and doesnât tax the people of his court. He also gives nesta lots of gifts and pays for an extravagant mating ceremony at the end of silver flames. So no money is not the problem.
None of those thing are the problem.
The problem/the reason the inner circle were so upset or worried about nesta is the fact that they could see she was in a bad place mentally. She lost a ton of weight, they could see that. She went from never having slept with a man to sleeping around a bunch. She went from never drinking to drinking 24/7. She stopped speaking to cassian, the male she was willing to die with rather than leave him to die alone and save herself. She stopped speaking to Elaine and Feyre. She and Amren stopped being friends. She was living far away in a not-so-great apartment. None of this is normal nor good for nesta.
They all recognized this.
âIt was the King of Hybernâs fault. She knew that. But it was hers, too. Just as it was her fault that Elain had been captured by the Cauldron after Nesta spied on it with that scrying, her fault that Hybern had done such terrible things to hunt her and her sister down like a deer.â
Nesta is in such a state of guilt after the war. She is blaming and punishing herself for everything thatâs happened.
âSome days, the sheer dread and panic locked Nestaâs body up so thoroughly that nothing could get her to breathe. Nothing could stop the awful power from beginning to rise, rise, rise in her. Nothing beyond the music at those taverns, the card games with strangers, the endless bottles of wine, and the sex that made her feel nothingâbut offered a moment of release amid the roaring inside her.â
Itâs okay to remember and recognize that Nesta herself claimed the drinking, the gambling, and the sex were used to both punish herself and stop the pain she felt. She was not some party girl. She wasnât living her best life. We the readers can see that, and the inner circle can see that.
âHeâd never understood, though, why Nesta insisted on dwelling here. He got why she wouldnât take up rooms in the House of Windâit was too far from the city, and she couldnât fly or winnow in. Which meant dealing with the ten thousand steps up and down. But why live in this dump, when the town house was sitting empty? Since construction had finished on Feyre and Rhysâs sprawling home on the river, the town house had been left open to any of their friends who needed or wanted it. He knew for a fact that Feyre had offered Nesta a room thereâand had been rejected.â
âCassian knew thereâd been previous conversationsâfightsâabout Nesta. About whether to give her time to heal herself, as theyâd all believed would happen at first, or to step in. But as Feyre wept at the table, he knew it was a breaking of some sort. An acceptance of a hope failed.â
âWe need to make some changes, Nesta,â Feyre said hoarsely. âYou doâand we do.â
Feyre not putting the blame on Nesta and recognizing they both have things they need to change.
âIâll take the blame,â Feyre went on, âfor allowing things to get this far, and this bad. After the war with Hybern, with everything else that was going on, it ⊠You ⊠I should have been there to help you, but I wasnât, and I am ready to admit that this is partially my fault.â
Accepting she played a part in letting nesta get so bad and not putting all the blame on nesta. But also recognizing what nesta was going through.
âKeep your self-righteous do-gooder nonsense out of my life.â
âYou donât have a life,â Feyre retorted. âAnd Iâm not going to sit by for another moment and watch you destroy yourself.â She put a tattooed hand on her heart, like it meant something. âI decided after the war to give you time, but it seems that was wrong. I was wrong.â
â A pointed glance at Nestaâs gray dress, baggier on her than it had once been. Did Nesta notice the faint glimmer of worry in Amrenâs smoky eyesâunderstand how rare it was?
More than that, did Nesta understand that this meeting wasnât to condemn her, but instead came from a place of concern?â
âOne,â Amren said, raising a slender finger, âyou can move up to the House of Wind, train with Cassian in the mornings, and work in the library in the afternoons. You will not be a prisoner. But there will be no one to fly or winnow you down to the city. If you want to venture into the city proper, by all means, go ahead. That is, if you can brave the ten thousand steps down from the House.â Amrenâs eyes glittered with the challenge. âAnd if you can somehow find two coppers to rub together to buy yourself a drink. But if you follow this plan, we will reevaluate where and how you live in a few months.â
âAnd my other option?â Nesta spat.
âYou go back to the human lands.â
I can never understand why people hate Feyre for her actions in silver flames. Nesta had been doing all of this for MONTHS. They all thought Nesta would take a while for herself, get some space and time, and eventually get better. So they gave her that time and space.
Time and space that Feyre herself was NEVER given after the events under the mountain. Feyre was not allowed time to heal herself. She was not allowed to deny or say no to Tamlin. She had to ask if she could do things, simple things, and was still told no. Thatâs why these fights between feyre and Rhys occurred. Because Feyre knew what it was like to not have that. So, she gave Nesta that. But after months and months of nesta getting WORSE, she accepted that it was time to step in and help her. Which nesta herself recognized and eventually appreaciated.
But even feyre owned up to her mistakes. She felt bad for allowing Nesta to get this bad even if it had been Nestas decisions.
Nesta was also given the choice of if she got help or not. Once again, something feyre was not. Feyre was locked inside a house and left, leading to her having a panic attack and wrapping herself in magic. Nesta was giving the choice of 1.) she can either leave velaris and go back to the human lands and be cut off from their money (which they have every right to do) or 2.) Go live in a place where she cannot access taverns or alcohol. Work. Train. And get better. (Which she chose. Which helped her. Which she appreciated.)
I feel like people cannot understand that just because Nesta was angry/upset at the inner circle for doing this at first, or because she wanted to be âleft aloneâ , that does not mean the inner circle is wrong for what they did.
Of course nesta was mad. Of course she was upset that she was being cut off. She was angry at everything and everyone including herself. She was hurting herself. Punishing herself.
âThey couldâve done it nicer.â I mean this so genuinely, Nesta would not have responded or reacted good to âniceâ either. Nesta does not like feeling vulnerable or less than. She does not like feeling like someone has the upper hand. Regardless of how the inner circle went about it, she was going to be mad.
The options were either let her be angry or let her continue to hurt herself. Simple as that.
Regardless of what you think the inner circles intentions were. Feyre, Elaine, Cassian, and Amren all cared about Nesta and all wanted her to get better. They were worried about her.
I love Nesta, but loving nesta doesnât mean you have to downplay everything she went through or did. Loving her doesnât mean you have to excuse all the bad she did. Loving her doesnât mean you have to hate the inner circle and re-write their actions or intentions. Loving her doesnât mean excusing what sheâs done. It doesnât mean that everyone she was angry at was actually the bad guy. It doesnât mean that feyre or the IC locked her up. It doesnât mean she was a prisoner.
Now, obviously, I canât tell you how to feel or which characters to love or hate, or which characters actions to like or not. Youâre entitled to your opinions. These are my opinions.
But pleaseeeee, at least pay attention to what the books are saying and what these characters are saying and feelings. It gets so frustrating seeing people miss the entire points of these books or what these characters do or say.
Seeing people talk about how the inner circle drinks more than nesta, when the problem was never just nesta drinking.
Seeing people talk about how feyre hated that tamlin taxed his people, but didnât care that rhy had a lot of money and got âmadâ at nesta for spending their money, when the problem was never nesta spending money.
Seeing people say Feyre being locked up by Tamlin and Nesta having to go live in the house of wind are the same, when they absolutely are not.
If your love for a character clouds your opinion and bias so much that you blatantly ignore what every character says, does, or thinks, including the character you love, then you need to reread the books without the rose colored glasses.
Pls no hate this is just my opinion, if you donât agree, thatâs fine. We donât have to agree.
I love nesta. This is NOT an anti nesta post. I love her and her book and her development. Donât get it twisted !!
I don't care what anyone says - Rhys threatening Nesta after she told Feyre her baby was going to kill her, and breaking Kier's wrist because he called Feyre a whore was hot.
And I don't appreciate people trying to take that away from me.
"im tired of living through major historical events" is now "dear lord please let me witness a high profile political assassination in the next 1-2 years. amen"
elon musk did a nazi salute twice at the inauguration, and republicans are defending him.
trump revoked executive order 11246, which prohibited discrimination.
trump put all dei employees on leave to be fired.
trump blamed the dc plane crash on dei.
trump banned all lgbtq+ flags from being hung in government buildings.
trump ordered the pentagon to cancel celebration of mlk jr. day, ï»żï»żblack history month, women's history month, ï»żï»żholocaust remembrance day, ï»żï»żasian american pacific islander heritage month, ï»żï»żlgbtq+ pride month, ï»żï»żjuneteenth, ï»żï»żwomen's equality day, ï»żï»żnational hispanic heritage month, national disability employment awarenessâšmonth, and national american indian heritage month.
trump rolled back bidenâs executive order to lower prescription drug costs for people using medicare and medicaid.
trump rescinded the $35 cap on insulin, and prices are expected to rise to $1500 a month.
trump ordered the national institutes of health to cancel their review panels on cancer research.
trump ended the guidelines to prevent ai misuse. the guidelines prevent many things, but notably it prevents production of ai child pornography.
when sean hannity asked trump about the economy, he said âi donât careâ, after campaigning with the economy as his main talking point.
trump has withdrawn the us from the world health organization.
trump is ordering health agencies to stop reporting on bird flu and halt publications of scientific reports.
trump has pardoned over 1500 people who stormed the capitol on january 6th.
trump changed mount denali back to mount mckinley.
trump signed an executive order to rename the gulf of mexico to gulf of america.
trump shut down cbp one, an app which granted legal entry to 1 million+ immigrants.
trump is allowing ice raids at churches and elementary schools.
trump announced plans to declare a national emergency at the us-mexico border.
trump signed an executive order to expand the use of the death penalty.
trump disbanded the school safety board that works to prevent school shootings. it was comprised of survivors, educators, and gun violence prevention advocates and formed after the school shooting in parkland.
trump withdrew from the paris climate act.
trump revoked all protections for transgender troops in the us military.
trump rescinded executive orders made by biden that benefited and protected women, lgbtq+ people, black americans, hispanic americans, asian americans, native hawaiians, and pacific islanders.
trump is attempting to make it legal to refuse to hire or fire pregnant women.
multiple state legislators are drafting bills to allow the punishment for abortion to be the death penalty.
trump pardoned 23 individuals convicted under the freedom of access to clinic entrances (FACE) act for their anti-abortion activism, including oftentimes violent protests at abortion clinics.
trump signed an executive order allowing deportation of foreign students who they believe express support for hamas or hezbollah.
trump announced that the us government will from here on out only recognize male and female as sexes. intersex is not legally recognized anymore.
trump refused to swear on the bible during his inauguration. (iâve gotten some comments about this specific point. i didnât include it because iâm christian, because iâm not. iâm agnostic. i included it because heâs the first president in history to refuse to swear on ANYTHING, bible or not. in the bible it teaches that the only person who cannot touch the bible is the antichrist, yet that on TOP of everything else will never convince his followers that heâs unfit.)
andy ogles drafted a constitutional amendment to allow trump to be president for a third term.
georgia republican congressman mike collins called for the deportation of new jersey born mariann budde, the bishop who urged trump to âhave mercyâ on the lgbtq+ community and immigrants during a service at the national cathedral.
six states (arizona, idaho, iowa, kansas, mississippi, and north dakota) are planning on challenging obergefell v. hodges, which would end same-sex marriage nationwide. about a dozen more states have representatives who are also considering filing similar resolutions.
amazon revoked protections for lgbtq+ and black employees.
the united states state department has officially changed its âtravelers with special conditionsâ page which previously said âlgbtqi+ travelersâ to âlgb travelersâ, completely getting rid of the tqi+.
every single republican told us we were overreacting. trump swore he had nothing to do with project 2025 yet continues implementing details outlined in it. not a single person has the right to tell us weâre being dramatic anymore.