JVL
we're not kids anymore.
todays bird
Three Goblin Art
PR's Tumblrdome
oozey mess
Peter Solarz
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
#extradirty
i don't do bad sauce passes
shark vs the universe
$LAYYYTER
trying on a metaphor
Love Begins
Not today Justin
almost home
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
art blog(derogatory)
No title available
taylor price
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@farashe
I think I’m leaving tumblr. I never post anymore or queue anything up. And I rarely even come here to check what’s in my feed. All I’ve got are a bunch of new porn blog followers.
I’ve loved the friendships I’ve started and built here. And I would love to continue those relationships elsewhere. I’ll stick around for a bit longer, so if you want to know how to get in touch elsewhere, send me a message. We’ll make it work.
Bye y’all. Maybe I’ll be back someday.
I think I’m leaving tumblr. I never post anymore or queue anything up. And I rarely even come here to check what’s in my feed. All I’ve got are a bunch of new porn blog followers.
I’ve loved the friendships I’ve started and built here. And I would love to continue those relationships elsewhere. I’ll stick around for a bit longer, so if you want to know how to get in touch elsewhere, send me a message. We’ll make it work.
Bye y’all. Maybe I’ll be back someday.
I’m the kind of person who wastes inventory space in games carrying around useless items that mean something to me or my character
ROLEPLAYING 👏 EVEN 👏 WHEN 👏 IT 👏 NEGATIVELY 👏 IMPACTS 👏 YOUR 👏 GAMEPLAY 👏 IS 👏 VALID 👏
In DA: Origins when I play my Cousland, I save the Family Sword you get at the beginning. There is no way I’m selling that. Then when I get to the fight with Howe in Denerim, my Cousland is the only one allowed to fight Howe. There’s no way I’m risking someone else getting the killing blow on him.
I get him down to just a little health before opening my inventory and equipping the Family Sword. After all, mother said it should be used to remove his traitorous head, and who am I to argue?
Why do I do this? It doesn’t change the dialogue options or give me an achievement. Literally nothing in the actual game changes. But it is something that really more fully immerses me in the world and in my character.
So yeah. Roleplaying, even when gameplay mechanics don’t require it, is totally a thing I will commit to.
no longer a pride “demon”, just a happy little spirit of pride that everyone should have
@thisonelikesaliens
Once upon a time, there was a city ruled by three sister princesses. They were much-loved in their kingdom- the eldest with eyes of brightest blue, the middle with lips of sweetest pink, and the youngest with hair of deepest red. They were incredibly close, acting as each other’s friends and confidantes. They were just, and kind, able to balance the people and keep the peace in their land.
For a time, all was well.
And then it wasn’t.
Mother?
Shh.
A neighboring kingdom, jealous of this city’s prosperity and peace, sought to disrupt it. They dragged to its gates hideous war machines, made of magic and steel and human skin. The king, a man of great magical learning and power, demanded the princesses surrender their city to him, and if they did not, he said, he would raze it to the ground.
Mother, I’ve never heard of this story.
Then listen when I tell it to you.
The youngest daughter, when she heard, did up her deep red hair, put on a delicate crown, and clothed herself in a beautiful dress. “I will offer him an alliance,” she told her sisters. “I will give him my hand in marriage for our kingdom’s safety.”
The other sisters wept, understanding the sacrifice that their youngest was making, and held her close until dawn. They saw her off at the castle gates, and watched until she disappeared into the still city.
When the youngest daughter reached the enemy’s camp, she stood tall, and did not show her fear. She spoke kindly to the weary soldiers, curtsied before the cruel sorcerer-king as custom demanded. She was brave, oh, my darling, she was so brave.
And the king spat at her fine words, and spoke the words that drew all the light from out of her, until she went mad with despair. As the sun set on the day, and on the youngest sister, who lay despondent in the middle of the camp, a soldier came upon her, and killed her in a fit of mercy.
But you said that she was brave.
Yes. She was.
When the other sisters heard, the middle sister donned silver armor, borrowed from the guards in the castle, and took up a crossbow. “I go to kill the king,” she said. “I go to avenge our youngest.”
And the eldest held her close, and wept, until she let her go and watched her disappear from sight into the streets.
When the middle sister arrived at the camp, she moved quietly, looking through the tents with eyes and a heart made cold with fury and grief. She reached the king’s tent- asleep, inside was the enemy, and she raised her crossbow to finish the job. And she would have, darling, she would have, had she not seen, hanging from the post of the kings fine bed, her sister’s delicate crown.
The king awoke when she sobbed at the sight of it, and spoke words that caused her to wither and decay where she stood, crumbling to rotted remains inside a suit of armor.
Mother, I don’t like this story.
You must hear it.
The eldest sister heard the news and she did not weep. She drew her courage about her, and set off into the forest to find her and her sister’s mother, who was a powerful witch.
Her mother answered the door and bade her come inside, offering her condolences about her sister’s fates. Once the door had closed, her mother hesitated, then spoke.
“I left you in that castle long ago, and I will give you your answers, and then I will give you your vengeance against the king.”
And so the daughter listened.
Mother, I don’t want to hear this.
Listen, daughter.
Long ago, there had been a queen with great magickal abilities, but she was never able to find a love, so she used those powers to create three daughters.
One, she formed from a bottle of light captured at the sun’s violent surrender to night. It woke last, a child with beautiful red hair, and so it was the youngest.
One, she shaped from a gentle pink anemone, the last in her castle’s courtyard to survive winter’s onslaught. It woke second, a child with curved pink lips, and so it was the middle.
One, she carved from a piece of sapphire the size of her fist, and as she did, she cut her finger with the blade, so it was made with blood, as well. It woke immediately, with bright blue eyes, so it was the eldest.
The sun took her first child home, she told the sapphire-girl. Her body turned to light, and then to nothing, what it always was. The body of her second daughter rotted in the encampment like a flower decayed beyond its lifespan. “All the king can do is turn you back to what you were before,” she told her daughter. “He will turn you back to stone if you are unprotected.”
She gave her daughter a vial full of black liquid. “This will turn your heart forever to sapphire. The king will be unable to change you- but you will never feel again. No blade shall pierce your skin, but no joy or grief will stir within you. You will never be warm, or cold. I offer you not immortality, but a half-life of invincibility.”
The daughter regarded the vial, and uncorked it. She brought it to her lips, but before she drank, she asked her mother, “Why did you leave us?”
And then she swallowed, so she would not care about the response, and she left her mother in her home before she found the answer.
But why did their mother leave them?
Because she knew, daughter, even then, that her eldest child was capable of committing this act, and she was afraid.
The eldest daughter marched to the encampment, and to the kings tent. She was attacked, but nothing drew blood, and so she went forward. The king, upon seeing her, spoke the words that would have crumbled her to so many sapphire shards, but nothing happened.
She pulled out the king’s heart through his armor, and she felt no relief at having killed him.
She felt nothing.
The end.
Mother?
Mother, that can’t be how the story ends.
Mother, that is not how the story ends.
Do you want another ending?
Yes.
Very well, then.
The people saw what their queen had done, and began to fear her. The queen, unable to feel love or even affection, went back to her mother to find a way to make a child that her people would adore, because, without emotion, she saw that that was what they needed.
The child was made of ice over a pond, and her hair was the orange-white color of the fish, still alive in the cold.
And the queen raised her daughter to love the kingdom, to rule well, and to one day overthrow her mother.
Is that better?
No, mother, it’s- it’s not.
I am sorry.
Why did you tell it to me?
Because you deserved to know, daughter.
You deserved to know what I did.
A SUBMISSION BY @ninja-kitty-more-like-no
Ah yes, here they are: notice, filing, Doris, bifurcation, glowy, dealing, thoron, baling, pin, bombing, bifurcated, original & kilo
I confess, I am a fraud. I’ve mentioned some of these dwarves ^ enough times that my phone keyboard has learned their names and I wasn’t able to do this organically. :(
Here are my organic fair trade dwarven misspellings, because my phone thinks “Vogue” is a suitable substitute for “Bofur”
Oh, and Legolas autocorrects to LEGOLAND (all caps) whenever I type his name
Ajsggsgfhdjsh Fëanor autocorrected to Faramir. What sorcery is this?
But Finarfin becomes Einstein???
We have a winner: Sharon, Dark Lord of Motor
You haven’t seen happiness until you’ve seen 7 rats in a box of (pet safe) packing peanuts
the best package
Dragon Age Inquisition is an unrealistic game because there is no way in hell Hawke wouldn’t immediately go apeshit upon arriving at skyhold
Harry Truman
For the dashboard osmosis thing...avatar the last airbender?
(This is an ask meme where I try to describe a franchise I’ve never seen based on “dashboard osmosis,” i.e. what I’ve learned of it from fandom.)
Avatar: the last Airbender is an American cartoon series with Japanese-anime-influenced design. It is set in a medieval fantasy world. I have not seen any of the cartoon, but I have seen the ten-minute long “Best of” Rifftrax spoof of the M. Night Shyamalan movie on YouTube. Rifftrax is where the guys who did Mystery Science Theater 3000 create an audio track making fun of a movie, and you play it while watching the movie. I used to really like MST3K as a little kid, but Rifftrax doesn’t age well.
Actually, based on this I think I can talk about Avatar REALLY well. I bet this is going to be such a good Avatar post. Everyone will be really impressed by my knowledge of Avatar. They’ll probably think I’m very good at meta.
There are four nations, that live in harmony until the Fire Nation attacks. See? That right there is Avatar.
The nations are water, which is populated by Inuit(?) inspired character designs; Earth, which is based on China; Air, which is possibly Tibet; and Fire, which I think draws on the aesthetic of India. People born into those nations can have the power to manipulate that element, which is called “bending.” Once in a while someone is reincarnated, like the Dalai Lama, who can bend all four, and they are called the Avatar.
Impressive, huh? Watch this! I can even do the plot and the characters. Hold my beer.
So a smart girl from the Water Nation (Lucy) and her doofy brother (Sokka) are going for your usual amble across a glacier, when they come upon a corpse frozen into the ice. This may sound like any normal Canadian walk to school but in THIS case, when they remove the corpse, it turns out to be AN ALIVE BOY who was somehow frozen alive!!!
He is a small bald boy with a blue arrow on his head. His name is Aang and he is the Avatar. The blue arrow is never explained. In fact, M Night Shyamalan interpreted it as not a bright chalk-blue arrow, but a weird collection of black squiggles in a vague arrow shape. M Night Shyamalan is a coward.
Anyway, the blue arrow may be a brilliant makeup choice to Accentuate Your Best Feature. Aang has enormous eyeballs, so maybe he wants everyone to look at them and thus distract attention from his ears. Or perhaps he feels that he has an oddly shaped chin.
Anyway, he wakes up and starts running about, going “I must go home!” And Lucy and her brother take him to possibly Tibet, or some Himalayan-based aesthetic, please forgive me, I haven’t seen the show. Unfortunately, everyone in possibly-Tibet is dead. It’s entirely possible that they have been dead for ten THOUSAND years. I actually don’t know. They’re all very much dead at this point though.
Oh my god! I bet the Fire Nation did it!
Those bastards!!
And then they have to go… do something else. The General idea is that Aang needs to be trained in bending all of the elements, so they have to go to all of the places. So Lucy organises some kind of Road trip to visit every nation, and I believe Sokka briefly dates the Moon. They meet a visually-impaired small girl in the Earth nation called Toph, and they acquire a flying caterpillar-dog called… Apnea? Like a Great Pyrenees that can float. Which is quite useful because then they can probably fly from place to place instead of walking.
Also, Aang jumps off cliffs with a kite to hold him up. All the time. You can’t stop him. I think Lucy would try, because she’s sensible. “Aang,” she would say, “let me at least tie a piece of string to you. Let me at least reel you in, if you must be a kite - reel you in like some kind of skyfish.” But no, Aang will NOT be tamed, he must ride the thermals - where are the adults in this? Like, I appreciate that he is an airbender and he has Powers to hold him up, but like, he’s also about 9 years old. He doesn’t have all his teeth yet. Lucy must be the most stressed character in the whole fictional universe. I mean if the fate of the current world depended on a 9 year old with a predilection for throwing himself off cliffs with a kite, I would tie a piece of string to him. “No offence, kid, you’re a great kite, but I was kind of hoping to have a future?”
There is also a Cabbages Man and his cabbages, which are frequently overturned.
They are pursued this whole time by a sort of Goth child with a scarred face from the Fire Nation. I feel like I would know his name if I saw it again, but I am reaching for it, and all I am finding is Kylo. I am opening every drawer in the backwater cupboards of my memory and I just find Kylo. Now, the problem here is that I feel (based on some kind of osmosis) that I actually quite like Fire Nation Kylo. I have no idea what he does or sounds like but I feel like I support him. While the brief experience of the Star war Kylo that I got, didn’t so much make my skin crawl as it made my skin bolt, like my skin attempted to launch itself off the sinning meat of my body and fling itself into another room, but it’s anchored all over, so he just made my skin ripple. Like a horse twitching flies. I made a lot of weird faces watching that movie. So I’m going to call this Kylo “Scruffy Dave.” I can’t go any farther with this if his name is Kylo, even if it is, which I’m sure it isn’t.
I don’t know why Scruffy Dave is pursuing a bunch of other children all over Asia. I believe it is to do with “honour,” but he’s like 12. I remember being 12 and horribly conscious of my dignity, sensitive to all kinds of perceived slights, but I don’t think I would pursue the offenders as far as Fantasy Outer Mongolia. Maybe, like, Fantasy Next Town over. So I suspect there’s more plot to it than that. Scruffy Dave-O has an uncle called Uncle Iroh who likes tea. Uncle Iroh is cute, but useless. As the only adult in the show, you’d think he would say things like “Little Scruff, let’s find some fucking chill here. Let’s go on a quest to restore your missing chill.” But no, the cavalcade of fuckups tumbles all over creation, instead, overturning cabbages.
I’m handwaving here. I assume more adventures are involved. Give me back my beer for a sec. I’m going to need both hands free for the handwaving finale.
So Scruffy Davoh and his inadequate babysitter catch up with Lucy’s herd of children and I believe they have some kind of battle, at the end of which, Scruffy Davenport converts to Aang’s side and has a redemption arc! I believe it is a good one.
But there’s a lot of plot after this? So I assume that the new bad guy is the Fire Nation. I think they all team up to attack the Fire Nation.
Oh wait! Aang must be the last airbender because the show is called “Avatar: the last airbender.” Maybe that’s what changed when the Fire Nation attacked. They got rid of all the airbenders. I think airbender would be a good name for a salamander. Like a hellbender crossed with a nice feathery axolotl. But how did the Fire Nation get away with that? Was it 1000 years ago? Why was it ok for them to destabilise an element-based continent like that. How did Aang get in a glacier. I don’t care to find out.
They are all underage children. I think it’s important to stress that they are all underage children, and I am vexed and pained by their unsupervised shenanigans. Why didn’t somebody sort this out earlier.
So that is the plot. Then eventually they all die of old age, and it’s time for Legend of Korra, which is the same show but everyone is an adult and gay, and it’s somehow the 1920s. Korra has basically reinvented bi culture and saved us all, as well as providing us with feudal lord/handmaiden jokes. I haven’t seen that show either, but that’s the gist of it.
Also, I think Lucy’s name might be Katara. But it only just came to me now.
Did I mention, I think Sokka dates the moon? I’m really not clear on this. And I think Toph owns a haunted squirrel. That might be important too.
Here, finish this beer for me, I can’t, I’m still breastfeeding.
I also believe, but cannot cite evidence, that there is no war in Ba Sing Se.
2:50, 10/1/19
@elodieunderglass
This is fucking priceless!!!
I am seriously in shock over how funny this is.
Jesus christ.
I am so glad that it made sense to you! Actually, in the two-week Holiday Void, my whole household came down with a terrible germ. We don’t watch television, but when your whole family including a little toddler is ill, then YOU WATCH TELEVISION, and what I decided to do was to put on “Avatar” via Amazon Prime. Because I could reasonably expect it wouldn’t be too violent/vile/sex-laden for the toddler, and it might amuse the bleary adults.
And we liked it! We really really did! It was exactly the thing you want to watch when you feel like you can’t move. You are happy to accept it all, and the fact that you’re literally just watching children run in perilous circles, on endless repeat, is acceptable and soothing. All they do is run in circles! And there are occasionally bad jokes. None of you told me there would be bad jokes. So now I am a person who has seen some episodes of “Avatar: the last airbender,” and I don’t mind at all! You guys steered me right! It’s made me officially forgive Tumblr for the tragic misfire that was my actual experience of trying to watch Leverage.
I never did work out about Ba Sing Se, which seemed to be important in my dashboard osmosis, but it was never spoken of. That might be a different show.
a muggleborn student coming to hogwarts with a thermos flask and filling it with tea in the morning so it stays hot all day and their pureblood friends are like “whoa what spell did you use for that” and they’re like “?????? it’s just a thermos???” and all the pureblood students start pointing their wands at cups and saying “THERMOS”
THERMOS
plot twist: it works, mugs suddenly start keeping tea at the perfect temperature for the caster all day. students in muggle studies start experimenting with other muggle jargon and a new generation of magic spells are born, propelling the stagnated wizard community into the technological age
*points wand at book* KINDLE!!!! *book propels itself into fireplace and bursts into flames* I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP
So i finally drew the egg
by spacefrogdesigns
75 Gaming Asks
Send me some! 1. First console you’ve ever owned? 2. First game you played? 3. Favorite childhood game? 4. Longest consecutive hours you’ve played a game? 5. Game with the best soundtrack? 6. An underrated game from within the last few years? 7. Most disappointing game you’ve played? 8. The game with the best atmosphere/scenery? 9. Last game you played? 10. Prefer PC or console? 11. Have you written any fanfic or made any fanart? 12. Most bizarre game you’ve ever played? 13. Scariest game you’ve played? 14. Do you watch playthroughs online? 15. Favorite animal in a video game? 16. The best year in gaming you’ve experienced? 17. Have a video game themed background or lockscreen? 18. Worst game you’ve played? 19. Hardest game you’ve ever played? 20. Favorite publisher and/or developer? 21. If you had to play one game for the rest of your life, what would it be? 22. If you could turn one game into movie, which would it be? 23. Favorite genre of video game? 24. Ever cried because of a video game? Which one(s)? 25. Proudest accomplishment in gaming? 26. How often do you play online? Co-op? 27. Have you gotten any friends into gaming? 28. Who got YOU into gaming? 29. Watch cutscenes or skip them? 30. On average, how long does it take you in the character creation screen? 31. Game with the best theme song? 32. Do you cosplay? 33. Favorite female npc? 34. Favorite male npc? 35. Best protagonist? 36. Best antagonist? 37. Ever been made fun of for playing video games? 38. Have you tried a game, hated it, then tried again, and loved it? 39. Do you play for achievements/trophies? 40. Favorite voice actor? 41. Gone to a midnight release before? 42. A game you will never forget (in a bad OR good way)? 43. Favorite sidekick or companion? 44. Do graphics matter? 45. Do you like funny or more serious games? 46. Always, sometimes, or never use subtitles? 47. First person or Third person? 48. A game you’ve always wanted to play but have never gotten to it? 49. A game you haven’t played in forever, but want to replay? 50. How many games to do you own? 51. First character you’ve had a crush on? 52. A game you will always stand behind, and support no matter what? 53. Your most immersive game? 54. A sequel you really want? 55. How much time, on average, do you play in a week? 56. Do you tell people irl that you play video games? 57. What is an overrated game you’ve played? 58. Ever have someone walk in on a sex scene between you and you LI? 59. A game you are looking forward to this year? 60. The game you are best at? 61. A game you know everything about? 62. Would you want to work with video games when you are older? 63. What’s a game that has inspired you? 64. Describe your favorite video game using only three words? 65. Any favorite screenshots of games? 66. Game with the yummiest looking food? 67. Most violent game you’ve played? 68. An older game that you’ve just recently gotten into? 69. Your first LI? 70. Do you play any mobile games? 71. A game you can’t stop talking/thinking about at the moment? 72. Have any guilty pleasure games? 73. A game with the best fandom? 74. Which game has the best lore? 75. Do you focus on main storyline/quest or do sidequests first?
