Constantly crying over my own OC's @jedimasteramell - Tumblr Blog

something something

im only back for my ocs

Sorry to everyone who got tagged by the f*cking Rayban ad from me, i dont even go here anymore

jedimasteramell

If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.

#self rebagel

If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.

#cat plays cp2077 #v cp2077 #trans!V #casually spends all my ennies on outfits

Some Little Trans!V Things

- You're constantly rubbing at the old mod in your neck, the one that controls your hormones; its outdated, a veritable ancient next to the modern thousands-of-eddies pieces you've got built into you. But it was your first and its priceless.

- The scars are hard to see against the multitudes of others, especially on all the skin thats not synthetic now, but you know theyre there, and like the others, theyre a comfort, proof of survival.

- Youve gone thru seven haircolors, four full body tattoos, and one hundred and thirty six different lipstick colors before you found just the right combo to make you you.

- People always complain about how mods ruined so much, never know who's under those new kiroshis, but youve never been more authentic.

- Experimenting with fashion and makeup is so common place you can always revel in being the flyest mofo on the block, youre you, and youre unstoppable.

- Maybe the blue, pink, and white jacket is a little on the nose, but its friggin excellent and matches your bike.

- People always ask what V is short for, but names carry weight, hold memories, cement preconceptions, so in a city that never sleeps, you refuse to be pinned down. Maybe it changes, maybe its a callback to your past, but it'll always stand for victorious.

#cp2077 #trans!v #im having a lot of feelings #and i just blew like 120k on a bunch of schematics and armors #fuckin love playing masc and yet have makeup and painted nails and if I want to #gold booty shorts #fuckin preem #cat plays cp2077

jedimasteramell

So like I know its not what the devs intended, but as I replay, Im really struck by some of the way V's lines feel to me rping as a transmasc char. Like I know the whole Watson gig with the dude with the faulty dick implants is for laughs, but I got my streetkid here like 'yo man I know my impants, that all really sucks and im driving as fast as I can' and it just hits a bit different.

jedimasteramell

Same deal with the Raymond Chandler Evening quest. Its real easy to just accuse Pepes wife and be done with it, but again, playing a V, particularly streetkid whose had to scrounge and fight for everything, who knows just what it means to have a past youre trying to disconnect from, to change yourself in the hope of moving forward, its easier to believe shes telling the truth.

#cat plays cp2077

hydro-homies

How it do be

myapogee

#i feel a bit called out lol

So like I know its not what the devs intended, but as I replay, Im really struck by some of the way V's lines feel to me rping as a transmasc char. Like I know the whole Watson gig with the dude with the faulty dick implants is for laughs, but I got my streetkid here like 'yo man I know my impants, that all really sucks and im driving as fast as I can' and it just hits a bit different.

#cat plays cp2077 #trans!V #cp2077

largishcat

i genuinely don’t get cishet monsterfuckers. for context, in the wake of shape of water i participated in this loving-the-monstrous type discussion event slash publishing party wherein i debuted a short story about a woman who “befriends” a cave monster—but that isnt the point. the point is i had to hear straight women talk for hours about how the appeal of monsters is some kind of weird “taming the beast” fantasy—loving a monster until it loves you back, sounding like every bad beauty and the beast take ever.

And there’s my queer ass being like literally none of you get it. this isn’t about power, this is about love and alienation and acceptance. you dumbasses, I’m the monster. this isn’t a metaphor for your shitty boyfriend, this is a metaphor for my own alienation from a society that tells me a the way i am and the way I love are grotesque. this is a fantasy of love free of judgement, separate from societal standards that I’ll never live up to anyway. that ghoul doesn’t care if I’m fat, they think it’s hot that I eat well. that immortal fae creature doesn’t care if the gender on my birth certificate matches the one I use now, they barely have a concept of gender in the first place. that tentacle monster doesn’t care if I shave, they don’t have eyes

monsterfucking is queer culture, everyone else go home

redwaltz

Oh. I’m guessing those were all yt women, too. Del Toro isn’t Queer, afaik, but he -is- Mexican in the us. It wasn’t really that long ago that interracial relationships were just as forbidden and taboo as Queer ones and there’s still obviously race tensions going on. The other in Shape of the Water is just as much, and likely written as, being a different race and the feeling of alienation of having a different place of origin. It happens to resonate with everyone who’s ever been considered a monster by society, and there’s not just one way this has happened.

The whole “love someone until they’re not a monster” is extra, super gross in that context because people don’t feel BIPOC are actually capable of human emotions who need to be taught to be human by some benevolent yt person who’s fetishised their body.

largishcat

reblog this version pls

leia-connor-vas-serenity

It’s important to remember that disabled people are also included in this other, both by society and textually in Shape of Water. Elisa, the lead, is mute, and deals with a lot of shit because of it, particularly from the cishet white man villain. Her disability is also what allows her to connect to the monster, as she’s able to teach him ASL signs he can communicate with. They’re able to connect because they’re both different. To this day, disabled people face a lot of barriers to relationships, like potentially losing disability benefits if they get married in the US.

polacrilexgarden-deactivated202

Del Toro has a lot of works that boil down to “Different is good and the people trying to fight for the status quo are the true evil here” (shoutout to Pan’s Labyrinth where, in a world full of monsters, the primary antagonist is a white fascist general and abuser).

#the rest of these takes are good #but i was honestly ready to reblog just at telling cishets to gtfo of monsterfucking

whitepeopletwitter

I just realized that Johnny and Kerry are on the end cusp of being Millenials and its honestly the funniest thing to me.

#cp2077 #johnny silverhand #kerry eurodyne

jedimasteramell

He's done!

Thats regular sized dice inside so theres a fair depth to the tray.

Made with wood, leather, and sculpy, about ~15 hours not including waiting for stain and adhesive to dry.

His eyes, toes, and the tip of his tongue all glow under UV light.

#self rebagel #cause hes off to a good home tomorrow

firstactproblems

Source.

YOUR DICE ARE PRETTY also good job on the tray BUT THOSE DICE

THANKS!

I ordered them from Die Hard Dice, cause my trans ass saw them and had to buy! I also got a few really nice metal d20s Im going to use against the players in the campaign I DM!