Far from the Dream Job

Sexual Harassment of Women in the Restaurant Industry

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Media, Men, and Managers Take Control of Women's Appearance Because They Obviously Know Best

I decided to compare my blog to MyMackenzieSmith, whose blog focused on how the media distorts our perception of the idea body image.  This blog could be connected to mine because women often feel the pressure to look a certain way no matter what their livelihood may be. Women in the restaurant business oftentimes feel pressure to look a certain way to receive more tips from customers. According to TIME Magazine, untipped workers are 3 times as likely to be encouraged by managers to wear more revealing clothing.  Why must we encourage women to dress beyond comfort just for viewing pleasure?  It’s not just the media promoting a particular body image, but everyday people who feel the need to influence women’s appearances.  

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I knew what I had to do to get out of that situation, to stop it from happening again, but at the same time I knew I had a slim chance of finding another waitressing job where I would do this well financially" (Waitress).

Many feel they are trapped in jobs where they are sexually harassed because they worry about finding a decent, fiscally comparable job when they leave. They are more preoccupied with making a living than making the move that would improve their life and set them on the road to recovery. It’s not an easy task, but we need to change the stigma around sexual harassment so no one feels ashamed to admit what happened to him or her.  No one should feel forced to stay at a job where they are not safe.

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Report: 90 Percent of Female Restaurant Workers Experience Sexual Harass… While this video sheds some more light on sexual harassment in the restaurant industry, it questions whether sexual harassment is being exploited to increase minimum wage from the current $2.13 that most workers receive. Large labor movements in the industry call for increased minimum wage to protect servers from sexual harassment from customers; however, national and state restaurant associations are questioning the validity of these sexual harassment claims. These questioning voices are an inaccurate portrayal of sexual harassment incidents. These voices want to believe people are using sexual harassment claims as a means to receive higher wages, and that the harassment is not a frequent occurrence when in fact it is.

[farfromthedreamjob]

It Could Happen to You

Sexual harassment always seems like something that will never happen to you.  Because you’re white.  Because you’re in a high social class.  Because you come from a good family.  Because you are stronger than to ever let that happen to you. Because you go to a prestigious school.  Because you’re better than that.

Unlike far too many things in this world, sexual harassment doesn’t discriminate.  Your sexual predator doesn’t care that you’re at the top of your class.  Or that you sing in the choir at church.  He could care less about how strong you are, because he can prove you wrong in just a second.  He doesn’t care about where you come from or where you are going because right now, he has the power.

Too many people don’t give this issue the attention it demands.   Ignorance is making women more susceptible to sexual harassment.  By disregarding the issue, you make yourself less aware of the warning signs that could likely turn into sexual harassment. 

Sexual harassment can happen anywhere, but certain workplaces have an even higher risk. 66% of female restaurant workers report to being sexually harassed.  Oftentimes if these people would’ve known the signs to watch out for, then they could’ve taken steps to prevent these incidents from occurring. Waning signs for sexual harassment include….

  Watch out for yourself and others.  Oftentimes, the worst case scenario can be prevented if people speak up about suspicious activity.  You can make all the difference in the world simply by being informed and taking action.  

[farfromthedreamjob]

Interview with Restaurant Worker

1.  What experience do you have working in the restaurant industry? 

I worked at a pizza shop for 1 1/2 years as a waitress/counter person/busser.

  2. Have you seen sexual harassment in your work place before? Can you give an example?

Sexual harassment in my work place was definitely visible. Male workers would constantly tease female workers in a manner inappropriate in the work place. It might be passed off as "flirting" or just being silly but comments were made about female employees' bodies and personal lives that crossed the line. Whether it be thowing pieces of pizza dough or toppings at girls (even their butts sometimes) or relentlessly asking me on a date or to home with them for a drink (I was underaged), I definitely think that subtle forms of sexual harassment were present.

3. What measures do you think could be taken to reduce or prevent sexual harassment?

I think creating clear policies and repercussions around sexual harassment is very important. Some people might not understand that sexual harassment is really about how their actions are received by the other person and not whether they have the intention to make the other person feel uncomfortable or harassed. Also, the boss or manager really sets the tone or atmosphere of a work place. Having people in leadership positions who know and understand the policies around sexual harassment and who is willing to take action if they are violated, is really important.

4. Who should be responsible to make these efforts to reduce sexual harassment in the restaurant workplace? 

I think that these efforts should be mandated in any form of work- not just the restaurant business. Sexual harassment is not okay, and restaurants have the individual responsibility to uphold regulations regarding sexual harassment. I think that the government should also play a role. It's time people stopped ignoring sexual harassment as "just teasing" or blaming the victim of being "prude" or "misleading", or even labeling the interaction as a "misunderstanding". Just like minimum wage and labor laws protect workers in the US, laws protecting workers from sexual harassment should be put in place as well.

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Do you think that the job of keeping from being harassed falls to the restaurant managers, owners or the patrons of the restaurant? Whoever's job it is, how do you think they can help fix this problem?

I believe everyone must take responsibility for preventing sexual harassment in all workplaces.  If a customer notices inappropriate behavior, he or she should mention it to an employee.  If one notices their coworker is being inappropriate towards other employees, he should either address his coworker directly or go to a manager.  And if sexual harassment is happening to someone, he or she should work up the courage to tell someone, even if it’s just a friend. 

There are ways to reduce and prevent sexual harassment, but we must address the issue, not run from it.  From employee training sessions to workplace conduct codes, many businesses could be doing more than they are doing now. 

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This picture conveys the emotional toll harassment takes on a woman.  How the man becomes stronger, while the woman just has to bear it as she loses more and more of herself. 

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Lenses

Where I come from 99.9% of the people are Irish Catholic.  Saint Patrick’s Day, beer, and the football pretty much sums up my town.  As I mentioned earlier, I started working at a local restaurant over a year ago.  During my first summer I became more confident, learned to handle all kinds of customers, and started dating the kind of guys who most would say are going nowhere.  While I loved the job, some things were unsettling.  Like the stories I heard about the cooks and the high school girls, the way girls were regarded in general.  I chose to explore this topic because I wanted know more about what happens when boundaries are crossed.  

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But He's Got That Megaphone

We are constantly surrounded by voices.  Voices telling us to act one way or other.  Voices telling us how we should think about something.  How we should feel about something. It is up to us to recognize where these voices are coming from, and whether or not they are telling us things we want to hear.  It is easy to listen to someone with an authoritative tone and instantly be convinced; however, we must make it our mission to see through these voices and recognize what is true from what is phony. 

Sexual harassment is depicted in so many different ways.  We see it through the eyes of men, who often disregard its relevance.  We see it through the eyes of judgmental individuals, who believe the women are bringing it about themselves.  And if we look closely enough, we see it in the eyes of the victims, who aren’t sure how they should feel about it or how they should react to the treatment.  The voices are telling them different things.  The national media and organizations with their best interests in mind would tell them to report this behavior.  To stand up for themselves and their rights.  On the other hand, the venomous voices of rape culture tell them that they wanted this behavior. That they were asking for it.  Who are these voices to tell people how they should view themselves? Don’t let these voices have the power.  

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'What Would You Do?': Would You Stop Sexual Harassment at Diner?

I used to love this show when I was a kid. This video made me ask myself, would I speak up if I saw sexual harassment? The answer should be yes from all. There are ways to speak up without getting directly involved, such as telling a waitress or manager not involved in the incident. Together we can minimize this issue.

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Many of us have been to the Route 9 Diner, and if we haven’t, we likely will be visiting within our next 4 years here. This account of sexual harassment reinforces the thought that no matter where you go, you’re never that far from sexual harassment. Even a business that comes across as a well-respected family place, may have evil occurring behind kitchen doors. The welcoming wait staff and amazing pancakes may have had the area fooled for years, but justice is finally being served now that the sexually abused victim is speaking up. This is the first step for the business to move in the right direction and try to recover. Hopefully, lasting changes will be made.

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"So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?” If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you."

Tina Fey, Bossypants (via evogel303)

I love the way this is worded.  It's hard for a woman put in an inappropriate situation to continue working as though nothing is wrong.  I admire the woman who can continue to give her job all her energy because she is so focused on succeeding that no harassing man can bring her down.  While I appreciate this post, I still believe women experiencing sexual harassment, whether it be in the restaurant business or an office, should report the treatment and demand respect. 

[farfromthedreamjob]

More Blogs to Follow

http://yayfeminism.tumblr.com/

I found this blog and the net one from the lovely Emma.  This blog focuses on what feminism is and how we misunderstand it.  It discusses feminism social situations, which is what I’m most concerned with for my blog. 

http://fuck-yeah-feminist.tumblr.com/

The first post on this blog that I read was about sexual harassment, indicating this will indeed be a good resource.  It also featured amusing tweets from #dudesgreetingdudes demonstrating that catcalling is not a compliment. 

http://iamayoungfeminist.tumblr.com/

I learned about this blog from Danielle.  One thing I liked was the post clarifying that feminism is not the idea that women are greater than men, but that they are equal. Overall, this blog describes various aspects of feminism.

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Cat calls. We see them in movies all the time.  We’ve heard stories from our friends and some of us may have even experienced them ourselves.  Maybe you’re walking into Amherst one day and a car full of immature college guys drive by and feel the need to beep the horn and shout.

People tend to forget what respect is.  Many of us had it drilled into our heads in elementary school, but a few of us must’ve skipped that lesson. 

Unfortunately, cat calls are a part of the restaurant business.  From the male workers in the kitchen, to the drunk men sitting at the bar, many men can’t resist making some remark when a young woman passes.  But it’s all in good fun right?

Wrong. 

[farfromthedreamjob]

Just Another Night on the Job

At 17 years old, you were so excited to land a job at a local restaurant.  They even told you they weren't hiring; however, you were able to convince them otherwise. But the restaurant business was not everything you thought it would be. As you’re getting ready for another night of work, you pull the too-tight t-shirt on over your head, wishing your chest was smaller.  You can already imagine the looks you’ll get from male coworkers throughout the night. Sometimes you wish you looked different just so the attention would stop and you could focus on your job.  It’s a lot of work responding appropriately and not letting anyone see how it gets to you. No one can know how you really feel.

  As you walk in the door, the middle-aged dishwasher asks for a hug as always and smiles at you.  You’re not even sure how this started, probably because you were nice to him.  Most people don’t give him the time of day, but you made it a point to say hi to everyone your first week and look where that got you.  As you wait for the customers’ food, you can feel the cooks’ eyes on you, staring, whispering to each other and calling out to you. You know this behavior will continue most of the night.  You smile and wave as you always do.  You never stop smiling the entire night.  

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I stumbled upon these oh so lovely images while browsing about my topic.  Investigating the source of the images led me to menarebetterthanwomen.com. I’m honestly shocked to see a website with this URL, making its intentions so clear.  While I should’ve just closed the browser to stop this man’s stupidity and ignorance from entering my thoughts, I ventured onward for the sake of my research.

I learned so much from this website! It’s a good thing this man posted so many times about just how destructive women are in society, or else I never would’ve realized just how worthless I am! My favorite post addressed the dilemma of women owning their own property and how men can’t let us women forget that we are property.  After all, we are just here for men right?

 It’s because of men like this that some woman feel they can’t measure up.  It’s men like this who don’t respect women and view them as “property.” It’s men like this that overstep boundaries and are likely to violate and harass women.  If a man feels he has more power than women, what would stop him from taking advantage of her?   These are the men who believe cat calls are flattery for women. If anything, they are doing women a favor right?  We must convince these men that this is not okay.  That in 2014 it should be well known that both men and woman are equal. That all people are equal.  

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Blogs to Follow

http://womensweb.tumblr.com/

This blog considered themselves an online magazine where they discuss issues especially relevant to women such as employment, equal job opportunities, social issues, workplace issues, and relationships.  They discuss the challenges women expect to deal with right now and how these issues can be improved.

http://womens-rights-in-the-workplace.tumblr.com/

While this blog didn’t specifically mention the restaurant business, it elaborates on the many issues women face in all types of workplaces.  From pregnancy discrimination to unequal pay, this blog evaluates how women are treated and what the government is doing (or not doing) to defend their rights.

http://inthenameofgenderequality.tumblr.com/

This blog, entitled Inequality: Women in the Workplace, focuses on gender roles in traditional business workplaces.  While restaurants have a different hierarchy, the male cooks still do not view women as equals in terms of treating them with respect.  This blog led me to an interesting article, “Underpaid by Law- A Waitress’s Story,” which I will refer to again.

http://samanticshift.tumblr.com/page/2

I enjoyed this blog because it felt more real than the other ones.  I could tell the author was someone with every strong opinions. Although only parts of her blog focused on harassment, I found it useful and interesting overall. 

http://stopthecatcall.tumblr.com/

This blog was one of my favorites because it allowed readers to submit their own experiences with cat calls.  As far as sexual harassment for restaurant workers goes, catcalls in how it often begins.  I will definitely use this blog for a future post.