Fate/ Incorrect quotes

Spoilers ahead

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Rasputin: You can say "Have a nice day" and sound nice and polite

Rasputin: But you can't say "Enjoy the next 24 hours" without sounding extremely threatening.

Muramasa: why the fuck are you in my room?

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Nobu: [gets a papercut]

Nobokatsu: HASN’T SHE BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY?

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Chiron: Did you know that if you break a bone it grows back stronger?

Achilles: So, what you’re saying is, I should break every bone in my body and become invincible?

Chiron: ...No. That is not what I’m saying at all.

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Atalanta: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Bunyan: I saw a frog on the sidewalk today

Atalanta: Outstanding. This is what I’m talking about, people.

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

First Hassan: I am, as the kids say, awake.

Hassan of the cursed arm: Don’t you mean woke?

First Hassan: Yes, but that’s grammatically incorrect.

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Question: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Oryou: Not if they consent to it.

Izo: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Ryouma: YES?!

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

BB: God is dead. God wemains dead. And we have kiwwed him. How shaww we comfowt ouwsewves, the mwuwdewews of aww mwuwdewews?? what was howiest and mwightiest of aww that the wowwd has yet owned has bwed to death undew ouw knives: who wiww wipe this bwood off us?? what watew is thewe fow us to cwean ouwsewves?? what festivaws of atonement, what sacwed games shaww we have to invent?? is not the gweatness of this deed too gweat fow us?? mwust we ouwsewves not become gods simpwy to appeaw wowthy of it? UwU

Guda: ARJUNYA GET THE MAHA PRALAYA

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Douman: How did you find me?

Guda: Well, we saw a building that was on fire and wondered “Now who could that be?”

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Jason: How do you do that? Act like nothing bothers you?

Arjuna: Step one -Bottle up emotions

Jason: Okay—

Jason: Step two - Molotov Cocktail

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Guda about literally all of their servants: Bitches say they're fine and then scream the "I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" in bohemian rhapsody louder than everyone else

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Sorry for the lack of content lately yo girl has been touching grass and trying to become a functional member of society for the last month

I will return to more frequent uploads once I'll get my shit together which will hopefully be soon :D

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Gudako: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Kama: Okay, but in my defense, Kiara bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Gudako: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

(source: Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Jack the Ripper: "Don’t play around with knives. Unless you’re recording it on YouTube for, like, thousands of views, in which case..."

(source: Failboat)

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Caenis: ARE YOU-

Atalanta: Fucking

Caenis: KIDDING ME?

Mordred: ...what was that?

Atalanta: Master banned Caenis from swearing, so I’ve volunteered to help out

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Guda: Are you a cuddler?

Dantes, scoffing: I’ve killed multiple people. I am a machine of death and destruction.

Guda:

Dantes: God yes, hold me please

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Pollux: i just want to hear those three little words

Castor: i love you

Pollux: try again

Castor: [sighs]

Castor: i will behave

[fate--incorrect-quotes]

Guda: [nuzzles and hugs Lobo]

Lobo: *growl* special translation: I did not ask for this. These are unauthorized snuggles.

Guda: [pulls away]

Lobo: *growl* special translation: I didn’t say stop