This is part two of a three-part alternate-ending fanfiction that revolves around the characters of Adele Carrem, Matteo Vasari, and Charlie Stoke, of Fogbank Entertainment’s Storyscape Titanic novella.
Author’s Note: This story begins in the boiler room, drawing from the diamond scene between Adele and Charlie. Thereafter, the storyline diverges.
Feeling a warmth on my face, I begin to stir. Slowly opening my eyes, I find my stateroom bathed in a golden glow not unlike that of a spring sunrise. I sit up in bed with a gasp, breathless, realizing I’m still wearing my gloves and Maison Lucile gown from Zetta’s party. I’m confused, and in trying to remember the events of the night before, I find it difficult to discern between dream and reality. I remembered Matteo spiriting me away from the party, the two of us drinking wine in the exercise room. Perhaps I imbibed too much, and he brought me back to my room. But, the sinking…My heart still feels like it’s in my throat, the terror still so fresh in my mind, had it only been a nightmare? It was so terrifyingly vivid, but even so, where did reality stop, and the nightmare begin? No, I think to myself, something’s still not right. Something doesn’t feel right. Looking around my unusually quiet stateroom, I realize that none of Lena’s belongings are there; no suitcases, no gowns or shoes strewn about, no posters or newspaper clippings on the wall. I feel my heartbeat and breathing hasten as I jump out of bed, the sound of my own voice nearly startling me, “Something’s wrong. I need to get to Hileni.”
I swing my door open, immediately dashing down the hall toward the staircase. I’m relieved when I see other passengers, though I don’t stop to inquire, focused only on getting to my sister. I quickly apologize as I clumsily bump into people in the corridors, tripping over my gown, wishing briefly that I’d changed into my split skirts, though my need to find Hileni supersedes all else. I make my way down to the gate that separates third class and crews’ quarters from first and second class, where surprisingly, I find the gate wide open and without a steward nearby. Counting my blessings, I descend the stairs to F Deck, hurrying down the corridors to Hileni’s room, where I knock quickly on the door. “Hileni? Hileni! Are you in there, habibti?!”
The door opens then, and I’m relieved to see Mrs. Rouhana, though her eyes are red-rimmed and swollen as she offers me a gentle smile. “Adal.”
I’m caught off-guard by the look on her face, and speaking in Arabic, I ask, “Leila, what happened?” Looking around the room, my breath catches in my throat when I see none of Hileni’s, Rina’s, or Samara’s belongings, nor any of the three girls. Before Mrs. Rouhana can respond, the questions start coming. “Where are they? Where are their things? What’s going on?” I feel my hands starting to shake, my heartbeat drumming loudly in my ears.
Mrs. Rouhana gently guides me to sit down on one of the bunk beds, taking my hands in hers. “Adal, it was God’s plan.”
“W-what?” I stutter, feeling my emotions well up inside, not unlike the water flooding into the boiler room in what I thought had been a terrible dream.
She gently squeezes my hands, tears in her eyes as she speaks, “We prayed Adal. We prayed for clarity, for ourselves, for you and your companions, and everyone on this ship. Your sister, and my Rina and Samara, God’s plan was different for them than for us. They weren’t meant to stay here. They were blessed.”
I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, tears welling up in my eyes. I realize the horrible truth that deep down, I already knew. The sinking hadn’t been a nightmare. The iceberg, the boiler room, the frigid water, the unimaginable terror - everything about the sinking was reality. And, where I am now, must be somewhere between Heaven and the absolute hell that we all suffered.
Mrs. Rouhana, undoubtedly understanding how I feel, squeezes my hands again. “Do not despair, Adal. His plan for you was to help, you and your companions saved many, many people.”
I look down at our hands, tears starting to roll down my cheeks. I recall rallying the first-class passengers on the Grand Staircase, the throng of third-class passengers Charlie, Matteo, and I helped through the gate, and the passengers we roused in steerage when we went door to door after leaving Hileni behind. Finally, the boiler room - I lost track of how much coal we shoveled. Wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow, seemingly an endless supply, trying to keep the pumps working for as long as possible.
“Rina, Samara, and Hileni,” she begins. “They made it to the lifeboats, Adal. You survive through your sister. She’s strong because of you.”
I’m still unable to speak, my mind having trouble coming to terms with the truth of my new reality, my heart breaking from the anguish of knowing that Hileni is no longer with me. Mrs. Rouhana wraps me into a hug, and as I cry into her shawl, I can only attempt to imagine all Hileni, Rina, and Samara had to endure in order to safely make it to the lifeboats. The feeling of anguish is then partially replaced by gratitude; gratitude that Hileni survived, and that she will be able to live a full life in America. But, after all we’d been through together, I never expected not to be by her side. After a moment, Mrs. Rouhana lets me go, and glances over my shoulder toward the door. “Adal, someone is here for you.”
I sit up and turn, looking over my shoulder. A sob escapes my throat when I see Charlie standing in the doorway, his expression unreadable, though his brown eyes are filled with emotion, shining with tears. He’s once again wearing his white Stewards’ jacket with gleaming gold buttons, the same uniform he wore the day we met, which now feels like a lifetime ago. I immediately leap up from the bed and run into his arms. Sobbing against his chest, I finally find my voice, “Charlie, Hileni’s gone. She’s gone…”
He wraps his arms tightly around me, leaning down to kiss the top of my head, his voice cracking, “She survived Adal, you saved her.” I realize then that he already knows the truth.
I will myself to stop sobbing and look up at Charlie, my breathing broken and uneven. His eyes are still tear-filled, though he smiles softly as he gently wipes my tears away with his thumb. “You saved her,” he repeats quietly. “You trusted her, you believed in her, and because you did, she survived.”
“I’m an awful person, Charlie…” I clear my throat, suppressing another sob as he looks into my eyes, his expression one of sadness and concern. “I’m so thankful she survived, that she didn’t have to suffer…But yet, I wish she was here, I want her to be here.” I feel my chin quiver, tears streaming down my cheeks anew.
“Dear Adal, don’t say such things,” Mrs. Rouhana begins in her heavily accented English, having joined Charlie and me in the doorway upon hearing my words. “You love your sister very much, and she’s still with you, and you with her, in your hearts. One day, you’ll see her again.”
“But I promised to keep her safe before we embarked. She was nervous about the ocean, and I assured her that on an unsinkable ship, a floating hotel for businessmen and multimillionaires, there was nothing for her to worry about. When we were separated, I told her I’d keep her safe,” I find myself starting to ramble, my thoughts a jumbled mess, not used to feeling so powerless and adrift.
Charlie gently rubs my back, his arms still around me as he looks into my eyes, “You kept her safe, Adal. There was no way of knowing what would happen, none of us knew. Not Captain Smith, not Mister Andrews, none of us.”
Mrs. Rouhana nods in agreement, “You kept her safe by giving her a chance to survive. She learned of strength from you, and because of that, she was able to lead my daughters to safety. You’ve prepared her to stand on her own. You saved her, in every way you could.” She pauses then, “and in turn, saved my Rina and Samara, too.”
I turn to Mrs. Rouhana then, her words striking a chord. I blink away my tears, nodding slowly as I take a deep, shaky breath, “I always tried to make her aware of her strength, to help her see, but she never seemed to believe me,” I shake my head and chuckle softly, sadly. Charlie releases me from his arms, and I embrace Mrs. Rouhana, “Thank you, Leila. Thank you for taking care of Hileni when I couldn’t. She survived because of you, too.”
Mrs. Rouhana returns the hug warmly, and smiles. “I did what any mother would.” She glances at Charlie then, and speaks in Arabic, “Now, go on, Adal. Your friend is waiting for you”. Her emphasis on the word “friend” no doubt refers to our picnic, when she asked who Charlie was to me.
I’m caught off-guard by her statement, remembering how conflicted I was to answer her question, as I was torn between whether Charlie was a close friend, or perhaps something more. But now I know what Mrs. Rouhana always knew, what took my entire world shattering for me to finally acknowledge. I nod, smiling softly, “Not just a friend, he has my heart. Thank you, Leila.”
She returns the smile warmly and nods, speaking in heavily accented English once more, “I feel like I should rest, I hope to see you both again soon.”
“You will, Mrs. Rouhana,” Charlie smiles softly, as he holds his arm out to me.
I take Charlie’s arm, and briefly wipe my eyes before nodding in agreement, “Thank you again, for everything.” Mrs. Rouhana nods and smiles, gently closing the door behind us.
When Charlie and I find ourselves in the hall, we notice other passengers exiting their rooms, many obviously confused, not yet understanding the enormity of what had happened. “Do we tell them?” I ask quietly, even as I’m still coming to terms with the truth myself.
Charlie thinks for a moment, and shakes his head as we start walking together down the corridor. “No, everyone will learn in time. For now, we need to…”
“Matteo!” I gasp, finishing his statement for him, having been entirely focused on Hileni until now. “I pray he found a way to survive…”
“Me, too. But, if not,” Charlie pauses then, “he’s here somewhere, and we need to find him.”
I’m momentarily taken aback by Charlie’s openness to Matteo, especially given the competitive animosity, and at times, outright disdain, that governed most all of their prior interactions. Though, I suppose everything we went through would change anyone, not only those who survived. Grateful, I hold onto Charlie’s arm, and with my other hand, hold up my dress so I don’t trip as we hurriedly move through the corridors in steerage. “Should we take the lift, or the stairs?”
“Stairs,” he nods without hesitation as he leads me to the forward part of the ship, where the Grand Staircase awaits. We walk at a brisk pace for several minutes, before Charlie slows to a stop nearby the Turkish Bath, not far from the stairs to E Deck. I stop and look up at him, finding his gaze on me, his eyes soft, but haunted. “Adal, I…” he hesitates, closing his eyes momentarily before taking a deep breath. “Before we go any further, I need to thank you - thank you for everything.” I look at him quizzically, and he continues, “Not just last night, but for every moment since the first day I met you at the gate. You helped me to see everything in a new light. It was brighter, warmer…” He pauses again, and I feel warmth rising into my cheeks. “You’re the bravest woman…Person…I’ve ever had the honor of knowing. I’m in awe of you, Adal; of your strength, your conviction, your dedication to your fight, your beauty.” His expression changes then, “But when you came back to the boilers, I’d never been so furious with anyone my entire life.” He chuckles sadly, shaking his head, “But, I knew I had to respect your decision, just as you’d respected mine. Having you there… It changed everything…” He trails off then, looking at me searchingly.
I feel tears welling up in my eyes at his words, my face warm with blush. “Charlie, I…”
He shakes his head again, “I’m just so, so sorry,” his voice cracks on the last word, betraying his feelings. “I’m so sorry I failed you. I couldn’t hold on; I couldn’t reach you. I tried Adal, damn it, I tried. I tried until I had nothing left. I couldn’t bear the thought that…” Hesitating, he takes a deep breath, “I couldn’t bear the thought that I was losing the woman I’d been waiting for my entire life.”
I’m speechless as I look up at him, my heart pounding. He sighs, glancing down at Matteo’s brooch, still pinned on my gown over my heart. “But I understand that these things are never simple. And, that we can’t control how, or what, we feel about someone.”
“Charlie,” I begin, my voice shaky as I take his hands in mine. “You didn’t fail me. I know you tried, and I tried too. I tried so hard to get back to you, and you…” I sigh, closing my eyes briefly at the memory, “You were the last thing in my mind before… Well, before all this.” I pause, realizing he’s moved closer to me, our bodies nearly touching, his hands resting gently at my waist. I’m silent for a moment, my eyes locked on his, “I came back for you, Charlie. I came back for you because I believe in you, and I wanted to fight with you. I wanted to fight for you.” I take a deep breath, my heart racing, “I came back because when I stepped into the engine room, I realized that while I could survive without you, I couldn’t truly live without you… Nor, would I want to.”
Charlie’s expression softens as he reaches up, gently brushing his fingertips along my jawline, “Adal, are you…?”
I nod, tears stinging my eyes as I finally speak the truth that I’ve long known deep down, “I love you, Charlie.”
A warm smile spreads across Charlie’s face as he gently pulls me to him, leans in, and presses his lips to mine. I return the kiss warmly and passionately, relishing the sensation that I was certain I’d never get to feel again. This kiss, though, feels different than any other we’ve shared. I’m unsure whether it’s due to what we’d been through, or simply because I was finally honest with myself, and allowed my heart to take the lead. I brush the thoughts aside, and choose instead to simply enjoy the kiss, to revel in its warmth, and to feel fully the connection between the two of us; a connection that could not, and would not, ever be severed.
After a long moment, Charlie slowly breaks the kiss, gently running his thumb over my cheekbone as he looks into my eyes, “And I love you, Adal.”
At his words, I hug him tightly, feeling safe in his warm embrace. Glancing up at him, I smile, “You’re never going to lose me, Charlie.”
He smiles warmly at that, and as we part and walk together around the corner to the stairs that will take us to E Deck, he chuckles softly. “Well, I don’t think I’d lose you, Adal. After all, there’s only so many places you could go on a ship. Not to mention, one that I know like the back of my hand.” He fixes me with a serious look before breaking into an impish grin, making me laugh for the first time since before Zetta’s party. I shake my head as we ascend the flight of stairs, though Charlie’s smile fades when we reach the landing on E Deck, sadness overcoming his features as he looks around. “It’s hard to believe all of this is gone.”
I raise my gaze, looking up through the flights of stairs, the gilt-edged oak banisters and railings gleaming, bathed in the same warm golden glow of my stateroom and the corridors, that only seems to be enhanced by the wrought iron and glass dome above A Deck. I sigh in quiet agreement, “There’s a lot I’m having trouble believing right now.” I find myself reminiscing, though my attention is quickly grabbed by a woman running down the stairs from D Deck, rushing past us, and down the flight to F Deck. Tears are streaming down her cheeks, and I feel a pang in my heart, knowing exactly the pain she feels. I watch after her, as if entranced, until Charlie gently rests his hand at my lower back, guiding me toward the stairs to D Deck.
“Come on, Adal. Let’s go find Matteo,” his tone is that of remorse, and resignation. Resignation likely due to the fact that there are passengers who are in clear need of help, but in this case, the help they need, Charlie cannot provide.
As we ascend the stairs, we begin to hear what sounds like the din of conversation, of a large crowd. Upon reaching the landing at D Deck, we’re both taken aback. “I never thought I’d see it…” Charlie begins, trailing off. We both look around the first-class reception area and into the first-class dining saloon, both absolutely filled with passengers – but not only those from first class. There are first class passengers, second class, steerage, members of the crew, men, women, children of all ages, conversing, some crying together, others searching for friends or loved ones, and many still seemingly in varying states of confusion or shock.
“Everyone’s together,” I begin as I look through the crowd, the entire room illuminated by the same ethereal golden glow through the large windows on either side of the ship. “It looks as though this has become the gathering place for those of us who…” I don’t want to complete my thought, still struggling to come to terms with all that we’d been through.
Charlie nods in agreement, his voice barely above a whisper, “The heart of Titanic herself.”
I strain and stretch to see over the masses, seeking Matteo, Zetta, Sabine, James, Lena, or anyone else I’d met while on the ship. I look up at Charlie, who is doing the same. “Charlie, do you…” I’m cut short when I hear a shout ring out over the crowd.
I turn around, my heart leaping into my throat when I see Matteo at the bottom of the stairway leading from C Deck. “Matteo!” I grab Charlie’s shoulder, turning him around and pointing toward Matteo. “There he is, Charlie!”
When Charlie notices Matteo, he holds up his arm and calls, “Matteo! Over here!” He then grabs a hold of my hand as we start making our way through the throng of people, while Matteo tries to get to us.
I feel tears stinging my eyes, and when we finally reach each other, Charlie lets go of my hand as Matteo wraps me into a hug. I wrap my arms tightly around him, unable to hold back my tears as I settle into his hold. “Teo…”
“Adele, my dear Adele,” Matteo murmurs against my hair as he holds me to him. I feel a quiver in his chest as he attempts to hold back his emotions, before he slowly releases me from his embrace. I look up at him, finding him back in his waistcoat, tie, and jacket, his hair again perfectly coiffed, the familiar smell of his pomade relaxing me fully. He smiles warmly at me, his hazel eyes soft as he holds my gaze before turning to Charlie. “Charlie…” He begins, holding out his hand.
Charlie nods, offering a smile as he takes Matteo’s hand, shaking it firmly. “Matteo, I’m glad we were able to find you.”
Matteo nods then, returning the handshake with a smile, “Me too, Charlie. Me too…” He looks around, then, his smile fading when he turns his attention to me. “Hileni? Did you find her?”
I blink away tears, and shake my head, “No, she’s not here, Teo.” He nods, a sympathetic expression on his face. “What about Zetta, Sabine, and James?”
He shakes his head, his hazel eyes downcast. “No. Their staterooms are empty as well, as if they were never here…” He trails off then, and looks between Charlie and me. “I suppose that means they made it to their boat, doesn’t it? If I’m correct, that’s how this seems to work…” He glances downward briefly, before looking back to the two of us.
I glance at Charlie, and he nods. “It must. Everyone here,” he hesitates, searching for the right words, “everyone here wasn’t so fortunate.”
Matteo sighs, a sad smirk tugging at his lips as he shakes his head. “Fate puts us on a doomed ship, where we go through absolute hell, only to wind up right back on the ship again. It feels as though whatever deities everyone puts their faith in are simply using us for their amusement.” He pauses before looking between Charlie and me again, a sincerity in his eyes, “But, what I said, I meant. If this was to happen, I feel fortunate that I was with the two of you. You both treated me as an equal, never less than. You also didn’t judge me for James’ transgressions, and I thank you for that.” Charlie nods, but Matteo frowns slightly then, shaking his head with a bitter chuckle, “This is all absurd. Look around us,” his eyes scan the crowd of people that only seems to continue to grow, and Charlie and I follow his gaze. “All it took was our world as we knew it coming to an end for these people to finally realize that we all drown the same.”
We look through the crowd, and I see a few familiar faces. First, I see Mister Thomas Andrews, the man who designed the Titanic. He’s sitting on a green upholstered chaise, conversing with several men from steerage. I realize that while his expression is still haunted and full of remorse, he seems more at ease than when we met him the night before on our way to Hileni. Everyone is in various stages of dress, some in their finest evening gowns and tuxedos, others in dressing gowns and heavy coats, some even in pajamas, though nobody seems to notice, nor mind. I see Captain Smith, as well as the kindly stewardess who assisted me when I embarked, and who delivered my Marconi correspondences with Richard King. My gaze stops on a man I’m certain I recognize from dinner in first class. “Matteo, is that…?” I point the mustachioed man out, wearing a fine tuxedo and overcoat while he sits on a chair, bouncing a small girl from steerage, no more than 4 or 5 years old, on his knee. The girl is smiling and laughing, while the man, a sadness in his eyes, tells her she reminds him of his own daughter when she was young.
Matteo notices the man, and shakes his head, “John Jacob Astor, the wealthiest man on Titanic… If anyone had managed to get onto a lifeboat, I would have assumed it to be him.”
Charlie sighs sadly, “Money doesn’t mean a thing, especially not now.” He glances around the room again, before shaking his head, “So many still here, so many didn’t even have a chance.”
“No, but some still survived,” I pause, tears once again stinging my eyes, “Hileni, Zetta, Sabine, James, Lena, they survived. Perhaps they and others will use their experiences, their stories, to help prevent something like this from happening again… So, all of this, all of us, aren’t in vain.” Matteo and Charlie nod wordlessly, their expressions that of sadness and resignation, mirroring my own.
Just then, we hear a familiar voice ring out across the reception room. “Charlie Stoke!” It’s John, and several other members of the Black Gang, making their way through the crowd toward us. Charlie turns, his face lighting up to see his friends, his brothers, who had bravely remained in the boiler room until the bitter end. For a fleeting moment, I wonder what they’re doing up here, before I remember that the Titanic we’re on now has no need for them belowdecks. When John reaches Charlie, the two men embrace in a hug, patting each other on the back. John looks around at the finery of the reception area, and raises a brow, gesturing toward Charlie’s gleaming white jacket, “So, all this pomp was preferable to running coal, eh Stoke?”
Charlie laughs, shaking his head, “Well, it certainly was a little more relaxing.” He turns to Matteo and me then, “You remember Adal and Matteo, I’m sure.”
John nods, shaking Matteo’s hand firmly, “I do, and thank you for what you both did. You may not feel like it was much, but we needed all the help we could get down there.”
Matteo returns the handshake with a nod, “I’m glad to have helped, in any capacity. I just followed Charlie’s lead, and hope that it truly made a difference.”
John nods at Matteo, “It certainly did, without a doubt.” He turns to me then, a smile spreading across his face, “And, if it isn’t the only woman I’ve ever met who could hold her own alongside any member of the Black Gang! Ma'am, it was a pleasure.”
I laugh softly at his enthusiasm, “It certainly gave me an appreciation for all you do. I had no idea the backbreaking work that went into keeping a ship like this functioning.”
“Well,” John begins with a grin, “You’d be welcome in the crew anytime.” His smile fades at that, his gaze briefly shifting to his feet, before he turns back to Charlie with a smile, patting him on the back. “You’ve found a good one here, Stoke!”
Charlie laughs, shaking his head, though he glances at me, his brown eyes sparkling. I catch his glance, smiling warmly as he turns to greet the other trimmers and firemen that came up with John.
I shake my head in disbelief as they turn away, and murmur, “How can he be in such good spirits, in spite of all that’s happened?”
Matteo shrugs, speaking softly, “I suppose everyone has different ways of adjusting and coping with tragedy…” he trails off, and when I look up at him, I find his hazel eyes locked on me, an emotion there I can’t quite place.
“Teo, how are you?” I pause, my eyes searching his features, “How are you, really?”
He smiles softly, sadly, “I’m alright, Adele. Or, I will be. But,” he glances around the room again, before he shakes his head, “I need to get away from all of this, just for a moment. Join me, if you can?” His eyes are hopeful, and when I nod, his expression softens and he smiles more genuinely, “Meet me upstairs.” He turns then, heading back toward the staircase to C deck, looking over his shoulder briefly before disappearing past the landing.
I watch after Matteo for a moment, and then turn to Charlie, gently touching his shoulder to get his attention. “I’ll be right back; I’ll only be a moment.”
He raises his eyebrows, and noting Matteo’s absence, he nods. “Is everything alright?”
I sigh, nodding, “I think so. Matteo is still trying to come to terms with all of this, just like we are. I’m going to go talk to him.” I offer a smile then, “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. And, like you said, it’s a ship, there’s only so many places I can go.”
Charlie chuckles, shaking his head, “I’ll be right here, Adal.” He smiles “Don’t be long.” At that, I turn to make my way through the throng of passengers toward the staircase. As I start up the stairs, I glance back at Charlie, seeing him watching after me, his eyes conflicted, and concern awash over his features. I offer him a soft smile in attempt to reassure him before I climb past the landing, out of his sight.
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