My Chronic Life

[fatmomblog]

I’m Back Again.

Hey everyone. I’m back, again. I seem to float on and off tumblr. But with my health failing I need some sort of outlet I can blog on. I’ve been spending a lot of my time on Instagram lately. And I do love it but can’t seem to release as much as I’d like to emotionally. 

I’m happy. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a really long time. Even though my health sucks. I’ve learned to just accept it.

If you’ve come here from my Instagram hello! I hope to get on here more often to vent. Sometimes typing on a computer is easier for me than on my phone. I’ve finally got a laptop back, so thats exciting! I love you all so so much.

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The 25 Most Satisfying Beauty Moments In Disney Films: When Rapunzel showed off this incredibly decadent floral hairdo.

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I haven’t been able to sleep at all lately. Its almost 4.30am and I’m still awake. I’ve cleaned my house and made lunch for tomorrow for the kids. My house is pretty damned near spotless and I’m still not tired enough to sleep. 

This is becoming a huge issue for me. It makes me so depressed to be awake all night long when everyone else is soundly sleeping.

I need sleeping meds but, I can’t have something that’ll knock me out so I can’t wake with my babies. 

Fuck insomnia. Fuck chronic illness. 

[fatmomblog]

So I’ll do a health update, cause well my health sucks!

I fainted, had a seizure or aura, whatever - in Walmart a month ago. Since than I haven’t really left the house. I send my husband out to do anything that involves going into a facility or store. I’m a prisoner in this broken body.

I have a new doctor, praise god. She does house visits. Second Praise God. AND shes amazingly caring, PRAISE GOD. I need her so much to help me through this.

My skin sucks. My vision sucks. My head sucks. My right side goes numb and my feet go purple. Fuck.

I have no spoons. EVER. I never sleep at night anymore. Can someone lend me some spoons. PLEASE. I need some to get through the days with my toddlers.

They’re great by the way. Isaiah starts school in fall. WHAT! right. Jeesh, time flies.

Back on topamax I go - I’m terrified always of medication. Ugh.

Inbox me!

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