The Malum

I am not a nice person, and I am too smart for my own good. Despite being a piece of shit, I'm also a decent writer. The purpose of this page is for me to vent and say whatever the fuck I want. Nothing will be polite or politically correct. I am sorry in advance for offending you. But if you appreciate sarcasm and a dark sense of humor, I might just be your cup of blood.

[fatnessevercream]

Quick weekend getaway to Clearwater, Florida. It’s the same Gulf of Mexico, but it seems like being somewhere else. Overcast today, but it was nice yesterday. Here are some pics!

And probably the best part about this...

I don’t know who he is, but his eyes are nice and droopy. Reminds me of dopey in Snow White. And we left our girl at a dog party! She’s the one in red, the head bitch in charge!

[fatnessevercream]

I hate being forced to stay at home. This is the result. It looks like someone is shooting a hobo porn video in a house that should be on hoarders. Take a look for yourself:

I’ve realized something, though. I used to think I didn’t have time to clean my house. Now, I realize that was never the problem. I just hate fucking doing it. And it gets to me pretty fast.

Today is the first day that I have felt trapped in this house. As the cases start to gradually increase in FL, it’s looking more and more likely that we will continue with this shit show and maybe even go on lockdown. Man oh man, what a time to be alive.

And just take a gander at what my future sister-in-law posted on facebook:

Are you fucking kidding me? China has a population of 1.4B, while the U.S. has a population of 350M. The number of covid19 cases in China is 83,000. The United States is approaching 80,000. I don’t think we’re winning, nor do I think anyone should hold our beer. We are embarrassingly underprepared and the government is botching this response. It should have never gotten to the point where we have to “shelter in place.” As a healthcare provider, this is extremely aggravating.

And to make matters worse, people are harassing me and socially shaming me for still going out. Excuse me, I have an Airbnb business to run, a full time job, and I still work in the clinical setting. So please, suck my twat.

[fatnessevercream]

My cats are assholes! I have this flameless candle warming plate, and I had a huge autum leaves candle melting on it on a pedistol. I guess the cats wanted to get onto it, because look at what happened!

It looks like someone jizzed all over the fucking place. And, I haven’t cleaned it yet so it better not be staining my beautiful hardwood floor! So the punishment? Social shaming....as if they care!

Seriously...unrelenting assholes. Even after all of this, I still heard them running around the house at night and knocking shit over. I love them, but they’re little fuckers.

[fatnessevercream]

I did something uncharacteristic this morning. I went to bed relatively early for me (9:30PM), so I ended up waking before 7AM. I decided to pour myself a big bowl of lucky charms and go outside to watch the sunrise. Normally, outside in Florida feels like being inside of satan’s anus, but the early mornings are usually temperate and nice. I was greeted with a lovely 68F, and a very beautiful symphony of birds singing. It was a great way to start the day. If I close my eyes and listen to the birds and the distant cars, it almost feels like life is normal again.

I’m not sure how much longer this social distancing thing will last, but it’s obvious that I’m going to have to find something besides work to keep me occupied. I read a headline saying that FL was the new epicenter of the virus. I’m not sure if I believe that, but I’ll fact check it to see.

Usually on Sundays, we go to my fiancé’s grandparents’ house for family dinner. I’m not sure if that’s still happening because his family doesn’t seem to be taking this as seriously as the rest of society. I love going and I love them as people, but I don’t know if I could deal with the conspiracy theories all night. Regardless, I’ll leave you with a lovely video of my backyard and the birds. Please ignore the random stock pot and cat litter on my deck. It’s been a long week...

[fatnessevercream]

Like so many of you, I have been instructed to work from home and go out as little as possible. It’s hard for me because, as an advanced practice registered nurse, I understand how diseases are spread. I know how to break the cycle and not propogate the pandemic. So I decided to go to an old bar I used to visit a lot when I lived in my last home. The bar was relatively empty, the tables were spread far part, and they gave us disposable menus and dinnerware.

I discovered a delicious new hard cider and wanted to share it with my friends and family on facebook:

Little did I know I would receive a lot of shade on Facebook from my friends:

This annoyed me at first because it seemed like she was professionally and socially shame me. It got nastier:

Here’s a suggestion to those trying to convince others to do what they think is the right thing. Don’t be a fucking asshole. She really got me heated. She’s brilliant; she’s a bioengineer and I have respect for her. But I’m a doctorally prepared certified registered nurse anesthetist with years of critical care experience. I know what I’m doing. I have no contact with high risk individuals and I am mindful of not touching things when out and about.

Is staying home the most foolproof way to avoid getting sick? Sure. So is going into a bubble and being put into suspended animation. Other countries who were hit with the pandemic before the United States have “flattened their curve” and never shut an entire city down. They intelligently quarantined and isolated everyone who was sick or had contact with them. They were aggressive about it, such as in Taiwan and China, but they got it done without making people stay at home.

So don’t come at me, bitch. I got this. Enjoy sitting home crocheting, I’m going to go out and about and try to keep our local economy going strong.