the trauma dump™️ @faultyfascia - Tumblr Blog

multiple alters use this acc these days

they/them, white & latino, body is 29 yrs

chronically ill/disabled (heds, audhd, ocd, pmdd and osddid)

this is mostly trauma/grief/mentyb vent account, somewhere safe to express these parts of us since realising we’re a system. we may be incoherent a lot of the time. some topics will be tagged w “subject cw”. language here may be triggering.

minors do not follow!!! ages 21+ only

worldsandemanations

György Kepes. Lichtenberg figures, 1951

it’s unreal just how much chronic stress and trauma fucks you up physically

#i look and feel like shit #my hair is falling out so bad and i look so disheveled #my friends that have been through the absolute worst of the worst and they look so goddamn tired #they are still beautiful people but god #they don’t look healthy #stress is a health killer #my sweet friends deserve good health #you can always tell who’s been going through it for their lifetime #it’s such a specific look in the eyes

syrenki

i feel like something inside me has gone moldy

Not once did I ever feel safe or loved in the presence of my own mother or in my own home growing up

#she’s so fucking cold #I can never forgive that wonan #she’s absolutely awful #she did us so wrong #over and over and over and over again #and doubled down everytime

oh boy I’ve just woken up after trauma dreams all night and some very awful memories are very vividly at the front of my mind to remember and relive

#ones I hadn’t thought about in a long time bc it’s too much #not ok #just remembered all my csa and also watching one of my family cats die #well not all of my csa but definitely the general fucking vibe and some core memories

hel7l7

Why can't I feel it?

detached0l

forestgreenandgray

Hey do you know what rumination is?

Rumination is probably the most common type of OCD compulsion, but I rarely see anyone talking about it. I've talked to multiple people diagnosed with OCD who didn't even recognize it as a compulsion.

Basically, if you have OCD you have terrible intrusive thoughts. They can be about anything, but common themes are fear of being a bad person, fear of hurting someone, fear of contamination. etc.

Rumination is when you get stuck in a spiral. Rumination is when you spend hours catastrophizing, overthinking, analyzing, telling yourself it's going to be okay.

I'll say it again:

Rumination is a compulsion.

Rumination is a compulsion, and that means you have to stop doing it.

I did ERP (exposure response prevention) for my OCD with a therapist! For 9 months! And it did help, but the idea didn't really click until I found this website a couple years later.

And Oh My God. It made things make so much more sense, and I was able to pull myself out of an episode even though I wasn't in therapy or on meds at the time.

Genuinely if you have OCD, or even if you suspect you have OCD, I'm begging you to read some of these articles.

Like this was genuinely life changing for me.

Here are some of the ones that were most helpful to me:

Defining Rumination

How to Stop Ruminating

ERP Exercises for Compulsive Rumination

What to Do When You're Triggered

if there’s one upside to being a multifaceted, fragmented system, it’s that i’m incredibly sexually diverse. sooo many kinks, fetishes, and power dynamics that i enjoy and can hone in on. it’s really interesting n fun

i just know there’s many such cases of sxual trauma that younger me has completely blocked out, it’s like… i will occasionally get very very small glimpses of the feeling and some vague imagery, knowing that something was off or very wrong was taking place, but the details of what exactly entailed are inaccessible atp

#cw csa mention #tw csa mention