a strange but otherwise harmless act of hoo-ha

come to the senate floor in 1838 if you want an ass kicking (she/her)

[fauvester]

Going to go take a little breaky break again now that its getting warm and i want to get out more!

[mrsterlingeverything]

It is thursday morning. Visualize yourself as the marble, the chisel, and the untrained sculpter who just tried methamphetamine

[abyssaldyke]

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

[tothechaos]

we need to find the beating heart of The Job Market and we need to plunge a holy gleaming blade into it. its the only way to be free

[glubby]

[dogpuppy]

This fucking rocks actually

[jamwich]

btw 2026 this is the year star trek fictional baseball player buck bokai will make history.

excellent example of star trek naming two real people and a fake one except my friend and i didnt know enough about baseball to know he was fake when he was on ds9

[showerthoughtsofficial]

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

[doggy-puppy-indulgence]

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

[ubercharge]

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

[sapphireswimming]

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

[fauvester]

reading the count of monte christo (because godddd i dont wanna finish my stupid ass book club book) and let me be the first person in history maybe to say - it cooks? dumas was cooking? I truly can't put it down some nights

[fauvester]

tried to get a kid to stay still during his checkup by asking him if he liked my shirt (transformers tee) and he was really excited and started naming all the transformers but to do that he aggressively poked each of them on my shirt. ow my boob. ow my b

[exitwound]

Im grading the final exams for the class I TA for and I'm checking the name of the one I've just graded so I can enter it in the gradebook when I notice that after the name it says in parentheses "just visiting ! =)". And that I do not know this student, they are not enrolled in this class, and they just showed up on the last day to take the final . Innovative use of free will

[vexwerewolf]

Organised crime? Nah girl I'm into disorganised crime. If a goon doesn't have ADHD they aren't getting hired

[vexwerewolf]

Cops can't stop us if they don't know what we're doing, and they can't find out if we have no idea either

[vexwerewolf]

Nah I'm safe it wouldn't happen twice

[vexwerewolf]

Minions stop this post from reaching 1k

[lesser-robot-cat]

On it, boss! Gettin' this post to 10k, just like you said!

[desolationlesbian]

remember when Elementary adapted the holmes stories and made Watson a woman which removed the gay subtext but then made Moriarty also a woman and gave them weird lesbian subtext. masterful technique. the never-before-seen uno yuri reverse

[mistbjorn]

totally normal 10ft tall portrait of your nemesis’ coworker

[bayleafpaprika]

followed by: let's topple mama's shadow government 💕🥰💕🥰

[evergreen-femme]

i have literally been saying this for my entire adult life

[dykealloy]

[delfin-zlosliwy]

behind every problematic age gap yuri there's an even more problematic, bigger age gap yaoi