signifying nothing ...

fawn | 28 y.o. | mentor | d7

[angelusmcrtis]

"Lighten up, darling," Lavender purred, a sly smile curling her lips as she reached out to gently push her companion's shoulder. Her touch was light, almost teasing, but there was an edge to it, a reminder of the power she wielded. "War isn’t all bad, you know. For some of us, it can be a good thing. Opportunities arise, fortunes change…" Her eyes glinted with a dangerous mix of amusement and calculation. "And hey, at least they’re not starving, right? There are worse fates than a little chaos. Sometimes, it’s the fire that forges something better—if you’re smart enough to see it."

[fawndubois]

"Wow. You really do open your mouth and say things, huh." Fawn pulled her shoulder back, discouraging further contact. Most people - especially the smart ones - were wise enough to pretend as if they didn't view the untimely death of thousands as something to be capitalized upon. Not that she was necessarily stunned to hear Lavender say such things; Fawn had heard the rumours, and something told her the dark-haired woman relished the little chaos even more than she was letting on. "There are, by the way. People starving. And those people could still be called the lucky ones."

[lee-hatchett]

Lee snorted. There was the spunky Fawn who he had practically grown up with. He shook his head, feeling as if she were one of his family - another sibling to add to the Hatchett clan. But the slight alleviation was short lived, as Fawn suddenly swayed and then was falling.

"Fawn? Fawn!" Lee lurched forward from his seated position, diving forward to sweep his arms under her before she could hit the ground. "HEY!" He bellowed, "HEY, WE NEED HELP IN HERE!"

He cradled Fawn in his lap, patting her face with an increasing fervor. "Fawn? Fawn, hey, hey you're okay. Fawn wake up, you're okay. Fawn?"

[fawndubois]

Nothing like this had ever happened to her before. It was a strange experience, and about as disorienting as you would imagine. After those 12 seconds, Fawn lurched back into wakefulness, slurring her words and breathing hard. "Wwhaa-- I can't breathe --..."

A lack of oxygen to the brain can cause hypoxia. This is the body's way of solving the problem of gravity; pumping blood through a body that was lying prone was easier than pumping it up to the head. Now as she woke, her conscious brain was catching up, registering the sensation of asphyxiation which was only worsened by her quick, panicked gulps of air. Lee's eyebrows were knit in an uncharacteristic way, Fawn noticed. She said: "What happened--?"

It took her some time to calm down, slow her breathing, and return to herself. She focused on the cool cement floor underneath her fingertips. There was no response to Lee's call for help, but no surprise there; how far could his voice carry through the detention centre? "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's okay, I -- I think I just need some water."

[lindenunderstory]

"I'm stronger than I look." she argued, although she knew she didn't have anything to prove to Fawn, she still joked around. "Yeah, it has." There was a moment of quiet, the two of them looking at each other, but both of their eyes far away. For linden, it was thinking about racing up trees and jumping off into huge snowdrifts on a hearth day. "Maybe there's trees on the roof."

"Mommy, can I go up?" Ellie asked, and Linden nodded, lifting her up higher and placing her on her shoulders. Honestly, it was nice to have the weight off her hip. Grinning, she started walking towards the stairs, bumping her shoulders a few times. "horsey!"

"Exactly. just like a Horsey!" Linden smirked, looking up at her kid, giggling and laughing and smelling all clean. It felt good, to have her cousin and daughter all safe and happy next to her, even in all the chaos. Even with the vox soldiers hanging out in the landings of the stairwell, it was still nice. They didn't seem too interested in people going up, anyway. going down would've incited more questions.

[fawndubois]

Fawn belonged back in those days, chasing childish adventures in the trees. She remembered the scent of pine on the breeze, remembered it so well that she could practically smell it now. In the tree farms, trees grew in neat rows, and the ground was dark amber with fallen needles. The trees closer to the town were juveniles, fewer than ten years old and hardly taller than Fawn was now. But walk a couple acres, and the trees stretched and stretched, until you were walking underneath long branches shot off from 100-year-old trunks. Every morning when she was home, when the golden sun started streaming through the plantation on a slant, Fawn ran down those endless, eerie rows. Oh, how badly she wished for home.

Fawn listened to Linden's exchange with her daughter, a soft and fond smile on her lips. She was reminded that she loved these two; they were family. Fawn was determined not to let anything bad happen to them.

As they climbed, Fawn said, "There are, by the way. Trees on the roof. None big enough to climb, though. You haven't been up there yet?"

[lindenunderstory]

"It's only five floors, you've climbed taller trees." They'd climbed them together, when they were small. She hadn't climbed a tree with fawn in years. Off handedly, Linden wondered if there were trees on the roof. There were years of things to catch up on from when the pair had lost touch. but luckily, it wasn't like she had the deadline of an arena pushing up against their time together. They'd have decades to live it all.

"do you wanna go, kiddo?" she asked, and Ellie nodded, scrambling out of the tub and into a waiting towel. They were fluffy, in the capitol. soft as clouds and white as the former president's namesake. Linden smiled, rubbing the towel against her daughter's hair to dry it before beginning to get her into a fresh set of clothes.

"By the way, Fawn, I'm your only cousin." she laughed, standing up when they were both ready to go. "come on, let's go. Maybe we'll kick up our own breeze if we hurry."

[fawndubois]

I'm your only cousin, Linden said. "That's how you know I'm being honest!" Fawn chirped, before her face broke into a cheeky smile. After little Elowyn was dressed in her charming clothes, and hoisted onto Linden's hip, Fawn took Linden's bag from her and swung it over a shoulder. Teasingly, she said, "I'll carry Ellie-Jelly when you start huffing and puffing by the third flight."

And, as if she could read Linden's mind, "It's been years since we did that."

But she appreciated a reminder of that time: the canvas of tree branches weaving an emerald mesh against the sky; a mottled carpet of bright sunlight soaking the forest floor in warmth and lush growth. Bird song and amazing views. Nothing quite like it.

[zocher]

rays of sunlight in the early morning forest

[lee-hatchett]

Lee's eye was still smarting, but at least the swelling had gone down. He sat in the cell of the jail, leaned against the cold wall. He took a moment to assess himself, and tutted in disappointment - he hadn't noticed that someone had ripped a small hole in the side of his shirt. How annoying; this was one of his favorite sleep shirts.

One of the guards had been kind enough to go up to the seventh floor and bring him a pair of socks and slippers, so at least his feet weren't bare on the floor as they had been the first day. But they hadn't yet brought him back a sweater or a thicker pair of pants, so here he was, always a bit chillier than he'd like to be.

"You'd think a tea wouldn't be the worst thing I could ask for," he muttered. "Other people are getting fully released, and all I want is a little something warm." He rolled his head to look at his companion. "D'you have access to anything yet?"

[fawndubois]

"Not one of these..." What should the Vox militia be called? Rebels, mutineers, insurgents, insurrectionists, terrorists. Word choice mattered. "... None of these revolutionaries have said as many as ten words to me. I guess they have other priorities and just want us ... contained." Controlled, detained, confined, locked up, imprisoned. Oh. Fawn felt suddenly overwhelmed, light-headed, and her chest felt tight. The walls grew thicker in her mind, more oppressive, and her attention shifted - desperate - to the steel bars of the cell, tightly stacked in rows. No way of fitting through, not even for she. No way out. Fawn's heart fluttered - blackness brimming her vision - and all at once, time seemed to slow. The world tilted and was gone.

The 28-year-old woman from District Seven collapsed to the ground, body wholly limp, unconscious. She had had a panic attack, invoked by a sense of claustrophobia, and her heart-rate hastened. In combination with low oxygen intake, and lack of nutrients in the blood from not having eaten anything much for days, Fawn had experienced a sudden drop of blood pressure. She was unconscious for 12 seconds.

[lindenunderstory]

@fawndubois

another day in the tower.

The air just got hotter every time she woke up. For a district kid, Linden had really gotten used to capitol AC quickly, and she was missing it heavily. still, the water was working. so she took as cold a shower as she could manage, and filled up the tub with cold water, slapping Ellie in a bathing suit and letting her splash. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than nothing.

Hearing familiar footsteps pad through her shower door, Linden grabbed a hand towel and soaked it in the cool water, passing it to Fawn as she turned around. "It's hotter today." she complained, neutrally. "Do you think there'll be a breeze on the roof? or am I delusional?"

[fawndubois]

"It can't be worse up there than it is in here." With an appreciative smile, Fawn took the cool cloth Linden held outstretched. She wiped her face with it, then laid it across the back of her neck. The air was stifling in the tower; every day, it got a little more difficult to bear. Few in the tower were sleeping well in this sticky heat, and some weren't able to sleep at all (Fawn was one of these). The heat complemented the general tone of weighty anticipation, which hung thick in the air. There were armoured men and women milling around, total strangers carrying weapons of war, stern-faced and tight-lipped. And what were they waiting for? Fawn didn't dare imagine. "Wanna head up there now? Not looking forward to taking the stairs, but I'll do it for my favourite cousin."

[spookyasmr]

[lindenunderstory]

Linden rested her side against fawn's, shoulders touching and resting her head on fawn's shoulder. "I know. but it's not like I'm happy. My mom's dead, my mentor's in the arena, and my daughter's freaking out. What else is there but sad and angry?"

"I don't know. it's just like... I know I didn't get reaped on purpose. but I was, and now her life's all tangled up in the games. she doesn't get a childhood anymore, she has to come to the tower every six months. that one's kind of on me." And it wasn't like she could stay home. all her babysitters came to the tower too. "It's awful for a kid to grow up doing this. it's awful to me. I can't imagine."

[fawndubois]

"It's not on you. None of this - was you. You know it wasn't." Fawn nestled her head against Linden's, exhaled softly. It was nice to be trusted. It was nice to be able to trust. Fawn cherished all of District Seven's mentors, but Linden was particularly dear to her. Helping to get her out of the Arena - in whatever small way she had - was her greatest achievement. "But I understand what you're saying, and ... I'm sorry. I'm sorry that she has to go through this. That all of us have to. It's ... fucked up."

There was no better way to describe it. "What would help? Could we plan something for Ellie that would get her mind off of things?" And seeing Ellie happy would do wonders for Linden, Fawn knew.

[ennalydonsbee]

"Guilty as charged." She chirped, smiling to herself. Yes, they had tried to charge her for it, once upon a time. But now, the vox had won. Now, she was able to take credit for her own work. "I am capitol-trained, so I can't take all the credit for my talent. but thank you. it's been... crazy. all of it. Are you finding a new place for yourself? It's a gamesless world." and hopefully, a hungerless one too, soon enough. "You're a victor, right? gotta be weird."

[fawndubois]

"'Weird' is the word. But the games are ended, and in that respect, a good weird." For more than thirty years, the games had been her life; there had hardly been any room for anything else. Fawn was hopeful that things were changing for the better, but she didn't have the same confidence that Enna seemed to have. Enna carried herself like a care-free woman, and Fawn couldn't help but admire that. "This is ... really bold of me, I know, but it's not every day you get an opportunity like this one. I'm a sketch artist. Pencil on paper mostly. Do you ever need company, and maybe an extra pair of hands, when you're painting? Maybe some help with concept art?"

[turnnoffyourmind]

One more day

Volcán Chillán, Chillán, El Ñuble, Chile.

[lindenunderstory]

She'd been through hell. Yeah, literally. and it had all burned down around her. And still, somehow, still, Linden was being put through it all again six months later. every six months for the rest of her life. shit. and she wouldn't always win, wouldn't even usually win. How was she supposed to do it?

harder, easier. how was ellie? Linden didn't know what to make of any of it. "She's stressed. more than she wants me to know. I think she knows I'm stressed too." She was a good kid. the best. She didn't deserve this. "Whenever people talk about the games, she asks about Alder. He told her what's going on. I... I feel like I'm failing her? I got to stay away from all of this until I was almost reaping age." but she'd never known anyone go into the games. her mother hadn't. Linden had dragged Elowyn into this. and now her kid was stressed about it. "it's hard."

[fawndubois]

"Yes. I know." Fawn was patient, sympathetic. She slid the plate with the two eggs, now cooked and adorned with garnishes, across the counter to Linden. The young mother's gaunt face and slight frame made her look fragile, but Fawn knew better and wasn't worried in the least. She had complete confidence in Linden's abilities, both as a mentor and as a mother. "Remember, Lin, it's easy to be sad and angry, but those emotions kill you over time."

Fawn sat next to Linden and rested her head on her hand. "Failing her? How could you say that?"

[ennalydonsbee]

Enna nodded, happy to accept the label of chipper. it felt pretty accurate. "Well, it's a sunny day, and I got to paint a sidewalk. What can be better than that?" It was an oversimplification and Enna knew it, and realizing they were walking the same direction, she elected to elaborate a bit. "I'm an artist. and now... I'm. well, not the most famous. but definitely one of the first of this new age. and I get to decorate this city into something new... it feels good. so good."

Enna grinned, happy to share the new joy she'd been finding these past few weeks. sure, food was leaner, but she was from nine, she'd toughed out worse. and this just meant the districts were getting more, right? That was good. they deserved it, it was what she'd fought for. “I’m enna. Enna parva. What’s your name?”

[fawndubois]

"Fawn Dubois." It had been over thirty years since she had been in the arena; five years on, strangers stopped recognizing her on the streets and calling her by name. Beyond click-bait articles with titles like, Remember These Victors? You Won't Believe What They Look Like Now! Fawn lived in comfortable obscurity. Panem chewed up and spat out its famous. Maybe that was the nature of all fame, but it was particularly true for victors of the Hunger Games.

"Parva..." She recognized the name, and in concert with Enna's declaration that she would decorate the city, it was enough for Fawn to connect the dots. "So it's your artwork I've been seeing on the streets. You're quite the talent."

[lindenunderstory]

"Over easy." Linden said, because although she might normally go for sunny side up, she didn't feel so sunny today. She just wanted this arena over easily. it felt like she might be able to manifest that in her choice of eggs.

"What if I always need you?" she asked, a little worried. "I feel... so out of control. if it's always like this, I'm never letting you retire, fawn. I'm going to need you forever."

[fawndubois]

Fawn laughed as she chopped the dill, and then the green onion, enjoying each fresh, earthy scent. It was nice to have something simple to focus on, tasks that were ordinary and small. Chopping vegetables. Shredding cheese. Cooking eggs. That was the way through, too; a relentless focus on the things that felt normal. "You've been to Hell and back, Linden. That's the only upside to being what we are-- to being victors. Now you know there's nothing you can't do."

"Sometimes it's like this. Sometimes it's easier. Sometimes it's harder." She said gently, and the eggs in the pan sizzled, two richly yellow yolks suspended in the bubbling and jiggling whites. Salt. Pepper. A pinch of red chili flakes. "How's Ellie-belly?"

[ennalydonsbee]

@fawndubois

They'd won. The vox had won. vox dei.

She'd danced on a capitolite roof when it had been announced, grinning and smiling. Her parents, estranged as they were, had only texted once, a week later, after word must've spread to them about what their 'daughter' was up to- had been up to for a year. They were in hiding, it read. she was disowned.

That was fine, she didn't need them. hadn't really wanted them, honestly. She could've turned that over, but didn't bother. let them hide like rats in the sewers of this new and brighter world. No more games. No food, either. but that was just because they were working out new trade routes, right? ones that would make food more equitable around the whole country. She'd starved before, she could do it again.

Vox Parva was busy at work. some vox had scrounged up what probably amounted to half the spraypaint in the city, and Enna got to work making murals for the vox in broad daylight, without a mask. She was grinning, happy. thrilled as she walked back into the tower, smelling of spraypaint and happy to be a part of such a good thing. "Hey!" she greeted someone in the lobby- anyone in the lobby of the tower now had to be vox, or at least vox enough not to be one of the loyalists in jail or hiding- "Vox dei! How's your day going?"

[fawndubois]

"Vox dei." Fawn wasn't comfortable speaking those words, but it was now a matter of survival. She had never been one to divide people into righteous and wicked camps; she didn't believe people could be organized so neatly. Fawn's acquaintances, colleagues, and friends had been injured, arrested, or even killed when the rebels claimed the city. So while Fawn fancied equality as much as the next person, she didn't trust the Vox Populi or their leader-- everyone's supposed "new friend," Terra Cassus.

"You know, I can't complain. And you look chipper. What have you been up to?"

[frommylimitedtravels]

Here’s to another year spent wandering in the woods..

[fawndubois]

home.

[lindenunderstory]

"I would never." Linden trusted fawn. She was a force, one warm like a fire. steady, present. always feelable in the victor's village, in the tower. Whatever she wanted to do, Linden trusted her. "Eggs sounds nice. we have some cheese in the fridge, don't we?" that would go well.

"He's not going to win." she shared, sitting at the counter. Without Ellie here, she could talk freely. "Told me as much. left me a will and everything. I... I don't... I don't know what we're going to do. to help him." She wanted him to win, was rooting for him. This hurt. ached. the idea that he wasn't fighting too.

[fawndubois]

"Hey, we do everything we can." Fawn replied over her shoulder, pulling butter, a carton of eggs, aged cheddar, green onion and dill from the fridge. She had given similar talks to Sawdust, to Lee, to Alder. The despair was inescapable, first few years of mentorship. There was no getting around it; you went through. But this year, it was Alder, and that was difficult to bear. It shouldn't be him. He shouldn't have to do it again. She remembered the 75th; the nation-wide rage that had crackled, fizzled, died out. Naturally, the Capitol would pull that shit again. Why not? Her anger was controlled, but constant, like an acrid taste in the back of her throat. "That's the job. And we lean on each other, you know? The second you need, you knock on my door."

The pan sizzled when she put in the pat of butter. She raised it from the burner, spun her wrist to swirl the melting butter over the bottom of the pan. "One day at a time. Hell, more like one hour at a time. Over easy, sunny-side up, or scrambled?"