never let you go

AND ALL SHALL FADE. THE FLOWERS OF S P R I N G. THE WORLD AND ALL THE SORROW, AT THE H E A R T OF EVERYTHING. BUT STILL IT STAYS. THE BUTTERFLY SINGS. AND OPENS PURPLE SUMMER WITH THE FLUTTER OF ITS WINGS. THE EARTH WILL WAVE WITH CORN. THE MAYFLIES RISE, THEN MOURN. AND MARES WILL NEIGH WITH STALLIONS THAT THEY MATE, FOALS THEY'VE BORNE. AND ALL SHALL KNOW THE WONDER OF PURPLE SUMMER.

[fckincorrine]

i made a lot of mistakes before coming here, but everything changed for me once i saw you by the pool determined to hate me. it opened my eyes to things i hadn't considered before like how the biggest mistake i made wasn't cheating on you, but not fighting for you, not telling you that i loved you, that i still do. and i know this is just card, but i'd like to keep being my best self, you know, something i only am when i'm with you, if you'd let me?

“i never knew i needed you in my life until you were gone. then i tried to hide how happy i was to see you in that pool. i know it seemed like it was easy for me to forgive you, but it honestly took all of myself to decide if i should let you back in. i wanted to hate you. i tried to hate you. you made me cry, and feel empty and consume so many pints of ben and jerry’s i think i own stock in them now. all because i loved you. i never stopped loving you. and i hope i never do because of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, i walked into yours. we can be our best selves together and i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[fckincorrine]

nixyoung:

“ cute. is that too forward? i was told that we should be forward. ” it was easy to joke when he had a couple drinks in him. the whole experience was completely out of his element, used to being behind the camera and not in front of it. he nodded along with her words and held on to his drink, waving away the bartender when he asked if he wanted another one. “ corrine, pleasure. well.. my first night, you know? i’m just trying to keep myself busy. don’t want to hide away in my room when i could be meeting people like you. ”

“nothing is ever too forward when on a dating show,” corrine laughed and took the compliment. “you’re pretty cute too.” the alcohol was slowly warming her system and the girl was becoming more relaxed and comfortable. during her time on the show she always felt an immense amount of pressure to always make good first impresions and be friends with everyone she met, and so far that was holding true. “have you managed to run into anyone else yet? it’s kind of a ghost town around here but i’m sure there’s someone else you’ve met here besides me.”

[fckincorrine]

judehd:

“ some might find the fact that we’re on a reality tv show about finding love pathetic, but that didn’t stop me, did it? ” jude countered with a wink and soft laughter. “ they’ve got good taste, if you ask me. and oh no, no offence taken or anything. actually, i was kind of afraid everyone here would be super serious about just pursuing one person, but i’ve been having fun, so. ” she wriggled her eyebrows lightly to make her euphemism impossible to miss, looking quite pleased with herself. still grinning, she reached out to place a hand on corrine’s shoulder, clearing her throat and then putting on a show of exaggerated faux-seriousness. “ i have utmost faith in you, my friend. say… since you need to dust off your mischief skills, let’s do something right now, a prank or something. ” the more she spoke, the more invested she became in the idea of pranking the other houseguests. “ your first task is to come up with a silly prank. something along the lines of… switching the sugar and salt, y’know? ”

“very true. and i’m not saying either of us are pathetic. just-” the blonde cut herself short. “i’m going to stop before i offend someone,” she laughed. “you think? i mean clearly some people are. it’s crazy how fixated someone can get on another person in just a few days. but that’s good.” corrine understood what she was getting at and couldn’t help but laugh. that hadn’t even been on her mind since things started to get serious with jt. “now?” she asked, all of a sudden feelings slight pressure to impress. “i was never the quickest thinker but maybe i can come up with something.” the blonde took a moment to gather her thoughts and tried to think as childish as possible to achieve the innocent prank ideas. finally something came to her and she lit up with excitement. “what if we plastic wrap all the door ways? that’s always funny to watch.”

[fckincorrine]

evemiller:

“yeah i’m definitely not that special kind of person.” she laughed. “— so how has been going with you and jt? have you guys worked everything out?” she asked quietly.

“i don’t mean to brag or anything, if that’s what you’re implying.” the girl gave an awkward laugh and shrugged it off. “yeah, things seem to be on the up and up. which is weird because that’s not how i pictured things going.”

[fckincorrine]

nixyoung:

nixon was in the middle of attempting to convince the bartender to take another shot with him when he heard a girl’s voice. he grinned looking over his shoulder, the girl was at least a foot shorter than him and adorable to boot. “ there is MORE than enough room for someone like you. but also.. there is no one else here. you’d be making this night more interesting at the very least. ” elbow resting on the bar, his free hand picked up his glass and brought it to his lips. the drink made his mood lifter even higher. “ we haven’t had a chance to meet, eh? i’m nixon. ”  

“someone like me?” corrine inquired, a puzzled look taking over her features. “now what exactly do you mean by that?” the girl crossed her arms and legs before leaning back against the bar. “we have not had the chance to meet you are correct. i’m corrine.” quickly she turned to the bartender and ordered whiskey coke, then turning her attention back to nixon. “so riddle me this. why is a charming guy such as yourself drinking alone tonight?” she took a sip from her drink and smiled at the other.

[fckincorrine]

nixyoung:

“ CHEERS MATE. ” nixon grinned as he clinked his glass to the bartender’s, it took quite a bit of convincing to get the bartender to actually agree to take a shot with him but he eventually wore him down. maybe it was nix’s cheery demeanor or maybe the man just needed the release himself. who knew, nixon certainly didn’t care. the lime-green liquid burned as he drank the shot as quickly as he could, letting out a small laugh with a shake of his head. “ that was absolutely brilliant. could i get a whiskey and ginger now? ” the hotel bar was empty except nix, he assumed most of the other cast was off to their own adventures while his consisted of alcohol. for that night at least.

it was a quiet night around the resort, something that corrine had yet to experience in her time on the show. most people were probably out in the city but the blonde had opted for a night in. grasping a pen and notepad she had made her way to the lobby in an attempt to write possible ideas for...well anything. in her attempt however she heard some excitement coming from the bar. letting her curiosity take over, corrine made her way towards the cheers and found a lonely patron of the bar. she quickly wrote the words ‘lonely barstool’ on her notepad and continued in the other’s direction. “think there’s room for another at the bar?” the blonde teased before taking a seat next to the other.

[fckincorrine]

he laughed, “oh wow, i mean i can’t say the same but i definitely got myself into a bit of trouble, even when i was fifteen. i can see that, that’s pretty fitting too, since i see myself as a mix of nate and dan.” considering her parents and their status he was able to connect the dots on how she’d managed to even get into such situations. though he was maybe a bit surprised that she openly accepted those situations, but figured that maybe her taste of the wild life was one of the reasons she was drawn to him. especially when most of jt’s life consisted of partying and drinking and of course, sex. “i think after that one scene where dan came to the bar for serena and it’s all been a trap for gossip girl they were like why not kill two birds, and say he was there for her but also as gossip girl. which is just another way of picking his name out of a hat ‘cause he fit one circumstance. but it also just doesn’t make sense georgina came around and made him take over as gossip girl, like how did she not figure it out? she’s a bitch but she was a smart one, you know? i never watched that but i was hooked on supernanny for a bit, i literally was scared she’d come through my door, like i knew if she showed up i’d been screwed.” gossip girl had a lot of plot holes, ones he’d thought about but was never able to discuss once they’d broken up, but what surprised him more was how much he still remembered and thought about it, how invested he was into one show that he’d cherished when he was with her, when he cherished her. he looked at her, a smiled, caressing her cheek with his thumb, “me neither,” he leaned in and kissed her softly, “i don’t want to lose you again.”

“a mix of dan and nate? well that’s quite the feat. what qualities do you feel you take from both? i don’t believe that i was more trouble than you but maybe that’s why we work so well together. except i grew out of my troublemaking phase and you haven’t quite yet.” the two were very similar in many aspects and that’s probably why they clicked so well despite their differences. but those differences made their relationship unique and dynamic which was enjoyable for corrine.“that was the first clue that it was dan but of course everyone just thought he went for serena and no one would have believed him anyway. what i don’t get is why gossip girl still continued to terrorize everyone even when they were out of high school like that makes zero sense to me. but oh my god i hated georgina. probably because i grew up with a real life georgina that was a bitch and tried to turn all my friends against me. worst year of my life.” everything corrine said was true, she was surprised she still had new things to share with him and how much gossip girl actually brought them closer. it was funny to her but she loved it all the same. the blonde expected the kiss and welcomed it, wanting it from the moment she answered the door. “maybe if i had told you how much i loved you we would have worked out the first time,” she confessed to him softly, the words slipping out but the blonde glad she said them.

[fckincorrine]

evemiller:

“the school is in the city, so i didn’t have to leave new york.” she said quietly. “it was very expensive. i had to pretty much work very long nights to pay off my tuition. almost debated on becoming a stripper because they made so much money. but i’m too much of a loser to be able to do that.” she laughed. “i’d probably cry on stage.”

“yeah, i know. but they wanted me to attend the hollywood campus since that is the holy grail of film experts,” corrine explained. “thankfully i’m getting by on scholarships and my parents helping me pay for it. the plan is to pay them back once i get my break into the industry. it takes a special kind of person to be a stripper for sure.”

[craved-deactivated20230908]

[fckincorrine]

evemiller:

“that’s really great. have you been going to school for it? i know there are places that have great classes for upcoming directors.” she smiled softly. “i went to lee strasberg theater and film institute for acting. auditioning to get in that school was the scariest thing ever.”

“yeah of course. i love to learn, especially how i can be better at what i love to do. i mean i’ve been preparing my entire life for this basically it’s just hard to get past that bar i’ve set for myself already,” she spoke. “yeah? that’s cool. i almost went there, but i decided to stay in new york. i split my time between columbia and nyu because their programs are so great. i’m officially enrolled at columbia but i sneak into my friend’s classes at the tisch school too.”

[fckincorrine]

judehd:

“ i mean, i think it’s kind of sweet, when two people like each other enough to not want to spend time with anyone else. can’t say i’ve ever been able to relate to that, but i can appreciate a good romance. ” laughing, jude scrunched her face up slightly. “ it’s not going to keep me up at night or anything, but i am curious about what the general public thinks of me. ” leaning in as if to divulge something top secret, she whispered conspiratorially, “ i’m a bit of a serial dater. ” grinning, she pulled back, speaking at normal volume once more. “ but hey, that’s good to know. but if the producers ask for my whereabouts, you’ll have to cover for me. or, you could be my partner-in-crime, i’m flying solo in the mischief department right now and i could use a friend. ”

“it’s sweet until you know the entire story. then it’s pathetic,” she said, of course speaking about her own situation. “but i guess you’re right. they could’ve chosen to spend their time with someone else but they chose me.” corrine smiled at the thought and actually took comfort in it. “i don’t think you’re alone in that. i’ve met plenty of people here who don’t seem like the single commitment type. not that that’s bad or anything.” she gave a nervous smile, hoping she didn’t offend jude. “of course i’ll cover. though i don’t know how well i’d do. i need like a full backstory in order to execute a good lie. but y’know what? i could use a friend too. my mischief skills however might need a little dusting off.”

[fckincorrine]

nicvlcs:

the sound of a piano just behind the wall he was standing next to intrigued nicolas, and he, being the nosy guy that he was, had to look over to see who was singing. when he found corrine on the piano singing her heart out, he couldn’t help but smile to himself, walking up to her. “trust you to find a piano in a place like this,” he chuckled when he approached her. though he didn’t sing out loud, he hummed along an octave lower, leaning on the side of the piano as he watched her fingers moving swiftly across the keys, the notes coming together in perfect harmony. he hoped he wasn’t annoying her too much - after all he wasn’t the best singer. he could just about hold a tune without breaking glass, and that was about it.

corrine was pleasantly surprised as she heard a deeper voice hum along with her singing. looking up and finding nicolas made her smile and laugh at his statement. "i can only live without music for so long. it's like a drug and i go through withdrawal without it. but feel free to join in." the notes continued to flow from the piano as she spoke before going back into the chorus. "la la la, di da da. la la, di da da da dum. sing us a song, you're the piano man. sing us a song tonight. well, we're all in the mood for a melody. and you've got us feelin' alright." now that she felt she wasn't disturbing anyone, her voice rose and the notes belted out of her with joy.

[fckincorrine]

grahamhtml:

getting up from the leather chair that clearly, had betrayed him, he walked on over to her and the piano. “no problem, really. just giving credit to where it’s due. ah, i hadn’t realized it was piano man, i haven’t heard it in a while. i don’t know, i don’t know a lot of piano songs, but i could go for david bowie’s modern love if you know it. if you don’t that’s also fine, anything else you know would just be fine.” he smiled. graham wasn’t exactly musically inclined and he often always found him fascinated by those who were.

corrine smiled as the other approached and made room for him on the piano bench. "i adore that song. but i don't know it on the piano unfortunately. i mean, i could be cheesy and just play this." her fingers took their place on the keys once again and began the familiar tune of für elise. a smile graced her features as the keys caved beneath her though and they moved faster and faster over the instrument. after about a minute of playing she stopped and laughed. "i can't believe i still remember all of that. i memorized it like six years ago for a recital."

[fckincorrine]

wtfjt:

“okay, okay, if you were eleven i can’t blame you, but if you were eleven watching gossip girl that’s so young? there’s a lot of adult content on this show, corrine. how’d your parents let you watch that?” he teased. “that was so stupid. like he showed up once as like a hint but i still didn’t buy it. dorota i believe, or even eric. but dan? why would he write himself as lonely boy? like of all the things he could’ve written why that, like he was supposed to be a good writer too but he made that mistake? absolute bullshit. jenny never learned either, i was so glad when she finally left the show. i didn’t think i would originally, but considering the reality tv show stuff i watch, it was right up my alley, except better then i thought it’d be. i’ve never watched 90210, i watched lost though. now that, that’s a great show, has plot holes but it’s good. nah, i doubt it but if they do, i’d be a little pissed they didn’t tell me.” he chuckled a bit, had his friends actually watched gossip girl he wouldn’t know what he’d do, they’d probably all make fun of each other at first but it’d be hilarious. taking the bottle of champagne from corrine, he brought it up to his lips and took a good swig of it, jt hadn’t drank much champagne before a bit too expensive for him wallet but he had to admit he enjoy the bubbly light beverage. he put his arm around corrine as they watched the screen, kissing her forehead, as serena vanderwoodsen appeared on the screen.

“please, watching gossip girl when i was eleven was the least of my parents worries. i was going to raunchy cast parties and staying out all hours by the time i was fifteen. you could say i was a bit of a serena vanderwoodson in my youth,” the girl laughed lightly not knowing how much he would believe if that. but it was true. before she fully dedicated herself to the arts it was late nights and crazy parties without a care from her parents. “oh yeah i forgot about eric, that’s a good guess. i just think that when the show came to an end they needed someone to be gossip girl and they drew names from a hat and dan came up. there is no way in hell they planned it from the beginning. my neighbor got me hooked on nineteen kids and counting and it’s like drugs i swear. i can’t get enough of their crazy, weird life.” there probably wasn’t anyone else that corrine would share her guilty pleasures with except jt. “i really missed this. and i didn’t realize it until now,” corrine admitted and sighed happily as she snuggled closer to him. she pulled his arm around her torso and began to play with his fingers aimlessly as her eyes watched the show. delicate circle patterns and swirls is what her fingertips traced onto his skin, her body relaxing and nerves at ease.

[fckincorrine]

wtfjt:

“i don’t try to.” he pointed out with a smile. “can’t not agree.” he chuckled. kicking his shoes off, before moving himself up the bed, laying down next to her, resting his head on his arm. he shook his head, teasing, “shame on you. i knew straight away, her voice is one that’s hard to forget, especially like after seeing forgetting sara marshall at least ten times. but that cameo at the end was great, i’m so glad they did that, it was hilarious. okay, true, but jenny always wanted to be popular even in the beginning, and she was never loyal and she made so many dumb choices. but trying to come for blair was obviously like the dumbest decision. me too, that and well, making commentary to myself just wasn’t as enjoyable. that and i’d have to change it if my mates walked in.” he chuckled. gossip girl was really only a guilty pleasure he indulged in with corrine, and every time he’d thought of the show he’d thought of the upper east sider, herself. he grinned, “please!” instead of watching the tv, jt couldn’t help but watch her open the bottle, a smile on his face, happy to have her there with him.

“looking back on it now, yes, it was obviously kristen bell. but having first watched it when i was eleven i could not put two and two together okay?” corrine laughed trying to defend herself. “i’m glad they did it too. but making dan gossip girl is not something i pictured. i seriously thought it was dorota or nelly yuki or something. not dan humphries. but whatever, plot twists were big in twenty twelve i guess. jenny was fine in season one and then she became an ungrateful brat to her dad which is not okay. like sneaking out and being rude when he’s already being awesome and sending her to that school in the first place? i’m glad you took a liking to the show. i never pegged you for a gossip girl lover. maybe 90210 but not gossip girl. hey, maybe they watch it in secret too?” laughing at the thought of jt being caught watching gossip girl, corrine settled back down in her spot. she handled the bottle of bubbly to jt and subconsciously rested her head on his shoulder. her attention was on the screen as the show began and she thought of how happy she was in that moment. 

[fckincorrine]

wtfjt:

“course i did, i don’t lie, remember?” he walked on into her room, placing the bottle of champagne down onto the nightstand. “you have glasses right? ‘cause i didn’t have enough hands to bring them, with the thorns and all, i mean, it is just one, but it’s the simple things. plus we’ll we both know red is a very good color on you.” he grinned, obviously hinting at the red dress she’d worn on their last date, as he twirled the rose in his hand, he walked on over to her and took her hand in his, kissing her cheek as he handed the rose over to her. he walked on back to the bed. motioning to the tv, “you know, i can’t believe i’m saying this but i honestly miss kristen bell saying ‘you know you love me, xoxo gossip girl,’ i also have zero doubt that i’ll still dislike jenny, that and i don’t doubt for a second that i missed watching this with you? like that probably sounds ridiculous because well, it’s gossip girl, but i haven’t watched it since i was with you. i couldn’t.” he looked at her, “didn’t feel right.”

“you lie sometimes,” she clarified, but laughed it off. “i don’t think so. but what’s classier than drinking right out of the bottle? nothing. also i have to agree with that statement.” corrine accepted the rose and the kiss on her cheek with a warm smile. she found a small vase and filled it with water to place the rose in and set it next to the champagne bottle. once in place, the girl scooted her petite body up against the pillows and spread her legs out in the shape of a four. “for the longest time i didn’t even know it was kristen bell. actually, i don’t think i knew it was her until i finished watching the series for the first time. also, jenny was fine until she tried to become blair. no one can replace blair, okay? if we’re being honest i haven’t watched it without you either. i tried, because it’s gossip girl and i love it but it was just too big of a reminder.” jt had taken over a lot of things in her life when they were together and when he left he still left his mark on those things like her netflix habits or the types of scripts she wrote. “well let’s get this date started, yeah?” the blonde pressed play on the remote and reached over to grab the bottle on the nightstand. she got up on her knees and aimed the cork away from the pair and let it ‘pop’ as the intro to the show played. taking the first swig, the bubbles filled her up and she already felt at ease. 

[fckincorrine]

grahamhtml:

graham was only reading when he’d heard someone singing and he couldn’t help but let the curiosity get the best of him. putting his book down where he sat, he followed the voice and piano. he almost didn’t want to intrude on her, she sang so well and the song she sang was one he hadn’t heard before. he tried his best to sit down quietly, but the leather of the chair, didn’t do him any favors, and he couldn’t help but wince. looking up at her, “uh, sorry, i didn’t mean to interrupt, i just, you were in your space, i only just wanted to listen. you’re very talented.”

corrine had found her muse and was so invested into the song, that is until a loud noise threw her off. her fingers fumbled on the keys as she looked to find the culprit; someone sitting in a leather chair. however, she couldn’t be too angry with him as he wasn’t doing it on purpose. “it’s okay. i wasn’t exactly expecting anyone to be watching. thank you though. piano man has to be one of my favorite songs ever. have any requests?” she blonde smiled at the other, seeing the curious innocence in his features.