Here since 98'

Warning: spoilers, tears, shipping and my current hyperfixiations | 27 | Any pronouns

[felicigra]

Ok so I'm depressed and started playing Pokémon GO again.

This is my code if you want to sent and receive gifts from me:

057124577730

[piratedllama-art]

Quarters only, please [x]

(done in procreate)

[wanderingnelipot]

[mx-kennedy]

Hello! Would you like the "Where's my wife?", or, "Where's everyone going, bingo?"

[gumy-shark]

when you reblog a post because you think a specific mutual would enjoy it and then they reblog it from you

[2022dirt]

Outlines of two alligators that slept through the rain.

[sharkishblue]

outlines of two alligators that got raptured by the lord himself

[whynotfabulous]

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

[whynotfabulous]

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

[gnomer-denois]

Because it's also evil

[whynotfabulous]

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

[whynotfabulous]

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

[trashboi413]

You meet god

[whynotfabulous]

Thank goodness!

What's the correct way to eat a banana?

[treslecheslife]

Whole, in one gulp.

[whynotfabulous]

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

[captain-oh-no-not-again]

Father of the Muffin Boy

[whynotfabulous]

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

[mayflydecember]

Car's haunted

[whynotfabulous]

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

[babybluebanshee]

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

[whynotfabulous]

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

[thegoodsandy]

into the sky, where it turns into stars

[whynotfabulous]

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

[daeynore]

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

[whynotfabulous]

....Ah

[whynotfabulous]

ChatGPT WISHES it was this coherent and creative

[charlesoberonn]

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don't let the Italians know I said this)

[charlesoberonn]

Make sure I fit in the pot at least.

[lilyyy63]

Shorter pasta could definitely fit on a store shelf. Longer pasta however...

Free yourself of corporate interests and demand comically and inconviently long pasta

[charlesoberonn]

Pasta so long it can't fit in your car and you gotta tie it to the roof. Pasta so long you gotta cook it outside because your ceiling is too low.

[clumsysprings]

I think space filling pasta would be the best of all worlds. Easy to fit on shelves, long, and fits in the pot without breaking!

Good luck manufacturing it, but I think it could be done by extrusion and chopping, but I don't know if it'd be spaghetti still

[charlesoberonn]

Something like this?

[charlesoberonn]

But in a little over 4 months it's gonna be m

[charlesoberonn]

This post gains more and more notes as we approach the day

[violet-hady]

I’ve had a store sell spaghetti which was half a metre long once. It was really good.

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

[gertritude-art]

nightly spiral

[sigynpenniman]

this is my favorite fuckin comic ever I have never seen something capture the experience so well

[shiftythrifting]

Village Discount Outlet, Akron, OH

[cryptid-sighting]

*is forced to wear this and parade myself around town and children throw rotten produce at me*

[brazenautomaton]

[naidje]

Beth McCarthy gives trans fan new name

[queer-joy-detector]

Queer joy detected!

[badkarma1998]

[mod2amaryllis]

parts 1-2

[mod2amaryllis]

part 3

and this is the true story of my monday afternoon

[mod2amaryllis]

it frew up :'(

[heart-sprout]

I'd like to thank op because I have been using these as reaction images since I first saw this post in 2022 and I had lost track of their origin but now I am grateful to the universe for the chance to say bless u

[mod2amaryllis]

imagining someone in the world making use of my 4pm on a monday doodles is sick as hell

[ballofstress9]

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[friendlyfrankenstein]

the scariest thing about old tv isnt really the racism or the sexisim because you kinda go in braced for that it's all the scenes where suddenly an actress is holding a lion cub or a chimpanzee is in the same room as a toddler, or suddenly theres a lion, or there's a chimpanzee again but it's driving a car, or holding a lighter, or holding fireworks. You just kind of watch in horror as over and over an actress performs with only 1960s tv film shootings best animal handling between her and the opening to Nope.

[retroactivebakeries]

[kiradical]

This is how I learn that the famous chimp my dad got my nickname from tried to kill Reagan. Fuck yeah.

[noknowshame]

I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real

[nutmargaret]

ages