Here since 98'

Warning: spoilers, tears, shipping and my current hyperfixiations | 27 | Any pronouns

[felicigra]

Ok so I'm depressed and started playing Pokémon GO again.

This is my code if you want to sent and receive gifts from me:

057124577730

[thirtyskeletons]

Any day now

[thirtyskeletons]

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

[thirtyskeletons]

[space-aronaut]

Wow it’s almost like the oversexualisation of queerness is one of the reasons why asexuals, non-binary folks and aromantics are not seen as queer enough to be part of the community

[quousque]

OH

[dragongirlafro]

ok i know i'm one to talk but genuinely if you think 👍 or ❤️ is "passive aggressive" you might be spending a bit too much time on your phone jeez louise

[dragongirltitties]

who thinks 👍 is passive aggressive i read it as an old timey mobster going "on it boss"

[mollyjames]

Whenever I use thumbs up I'm sticking my hand out from under a pile of rubble, too exhausted to speak, but signalling I'm okay

[sandandglass]

Donald Trump gets attacked by an eagle.

This eagle truly represents America. What a majestic symbol.

[lukcskywalkcrs]

It’s only fitting that this gets reblogged today

[rinokami]

This is the only eagle that deserves reblogging on the 4th

[ilinit]

Happy 4th of July Americans. Be like this eagle. Attack fascists.

[jesscalba-deactivated20130913]

[valtsv]

i LOVE the idea of "i can't win, but you can lose" in fictional confrontations it is SO fucking tasty. the human nature to self destruct and the human nature to survive by any means necessary combined at its finest.

[mactiir]

Getting up at 6 am IRL: aw fuck it’s so early oh my god

Getting up at 6 am in an rpg: *banging pots and pans together in front of the cobbler’s shop* WAKEY WAKEY THE SUN IS UP I WANT SOME SHOOOOOOOES

[tacomel420]

customers the same in all universes

[mactiir]

this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here

[prophetic-writer]

I'm sorry but I have one draft that I never finished but I laugh every time I see it

[hellsquills]

Writing Tip

Neither do i

[eviliens]

Unreliable everyone

[whitepeopletwitter]

[kalesrebellion]

So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.

[helloitsbees]

[piratedllama-art]

Quarters only, please [x]

(done in procreate)

[wanderingnelipot]

[mx-kennedy]

Hello! Would you like the "Where's my wife?", or, "Where's everyone going, bingo?"

[gumy-shark]

when you reblog a post because you think a specific mutual would enjoy it and then they reblog it from you

[2022dirt]

Outlines of two alligators that slept through the rain.

[sharkishblue]

outlines of two alligators that got raptured by the lord himself

[whynotfabulous]

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

[whynotfabulous]

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

[gnomer-denois]

Because it's also evil

[whynotfabulous]

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

[you-can-be-what-you-want-to-be]

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

[whynotfabulous]

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

[trashboi413]

You meet god

[whynotfabulous]

Thank goodness!

What's the correct way to eat a banana?

[treslecheslife]

Whole, in one gulp.

[whynotfabulous]

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

[captain-oh-no-not-again]

Father of the Muffin Boy

[whynotfabulous]

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

[mayflydecember]

Car's haunted

[whynotfabulous]

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

[babybluebanshee]

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

[whynotfabulous]

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

[thegoodsandy]

into the sky, where it turns into stars

[whynotfabulous]

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

[daeynore]

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

[whynotfabulous]

....Ah

[whynotfabulous]

ChatGPT WISHES it was this coherent and creative

[charlesoberonn]

The default length of pasta is designed to fit on a supermarket shelf, not to be the best length for cooking/eating.

Feel free to break it to any length you want (don't let the Italians know I said this)

[charlesoberonn]

Make sure I fit in the pot at least.

[lilyyy63]

Shorter pasta could definitely fit on a store shelf. Longer pasta however...

Free yourself of corporate interests and demand comically and inconviently long pasta

[charlesoberonn]

Pasta so long it can't fit in your car and you gotta tie it to the roof. Pasta so long you gotta cook it outside because your ceiling is too low.

[clumsysprings]

I think space filling pasta would be the best of all worlds. Easy to fit on shelves, long, and fits in the pot without breaking!

Good luck manufacturing it, but I think it could be done by extrusion and chopping, but I don't know if it'd be spaghetti still

[charlesoberonn]

Something like this?

[charlesoberonn]

But in a little over 4 months it's gonna be m

[charlesoberonn]

This post gains more and more notes as we approach the day

[violet-hady]

I’ve had a store sell spaghetti which was half a metre long once. It was really good.

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8