Courtney's World

They / Humor / Hedonistic

[jess-go-to-sleep]

Ellen Page kissed Michael Cera for our sins

[yuujislaugh]

S’More

[peelingmandarins]

the greeks at the gates of troy

[byjove]

my ex’s 13 year old sister invited me to thanksgiving dinner and y’all better bet I’m going

[byjove]

my dad: there is no way in hell you are going

me: if you think anything you say is going to keep me from my ex’s aunt’s apple pie you are severely mistaken

[byjove]

THE PLOT THICKENS

my ex isn’t even going to be there!!!! deadass they replaced him with me

[snailtattoo-deactivated20210605]

Jon Walker is a light in the darkness

[hostilemuppet]

this headline gave me heart problems

[hostilemuppet]

ok i take it back, i didnt know the guy was actually gay

[charismat1c-megafauna]

He helps end TBBT and now he does this. Truly it is twentygayteen.

[thewomenandthechildren]

what if the gamestop employee was gay

[thewomenandthechildren]

employee after i give him 20 unopened unplayed games: ok sis thatll be 5 cents. wig!

[seriousjones]

tfw you only have time to play animal crossing at 3 AM when everything’s closed

[fuckkkkkkkktumblah-deactivated2]

JUST GO TO THE DS SETTINGS AND CHANGE THE TIME SMH YALL R SO DUMB

[seriousjones]

please don’t lie to isabelle

[berrystumpytail]

God i wish someone would sell me a haunted house. Ghosts aren’t real and I’d love to get a really nice house for like half the price that it should be. 

[piruvieteri]

and if they are real you can fuck them.

[berrystumpytail]

This guy gets it!

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Sigmund Freud: All men secretly REALLY REALLY want to have sex with their mothers

It’s the Oedipus Complex

Oedipus: (Who literally gouged his own eyes out and killed himself when he found out he accidentally had sex with his mother) I’m sorry it’s the WHAT complex

[kascaban]

can we, as a society, start to realize that having a phone does NOT mean you HAVE TO BE accsessible to anyone and everyone at ALL times??

My mom threw a fit at me for not answering my phone while i was at my friends place. Kinda hypocritical too, given how much she complains that “youth these days spend to much time on their phones”

My boss was very CLEARLY not satisfied that i only got back to his text hours after he sent it. My friend didnt speak to me for weeks once bc she thought we were having a FIGHT??? bc i didnt reply to her message on facebook? till the day after she sent it??

i HAVE a phone, that doesnt mean i HAVE TO BE availiable whenever ANYONE decides they want me to be???

what the fuck

can people stop assuming they are entiteled to my attention 24/7??

[shenice-alisha]

this is so important. people need their alone time & their space. & it doesn’t matter if you see them active on social media, sometimes people just like to scroll through their timeline without talking to anyone for a while. you really can’t expect to have someone’s attention every second of the day, it’s not realistic at all.

[pothead-paisan]

So uhh today I was chastised by my sociology professor when I said that FGM and child marriage are inherently wrong and constitute human rights violations regardless of where/why they’re practiced. He said I “can’t think like that” and that I wasn’t using the sociological perspective of cultural relativism. I’m amazed that I managed to stop myself from screaming, but somehow I did and now my blood’s just been quietly boiling all day instead. And my doctor wonders why I have high blood pressure this young… Jesus FUCKING CHRIST

[dietmountainmadewka-deactivated]

he’s right though. Why do your cultural values and moral imperatives have more value than anyone else’s?

[cocksmasher69]

BECAUSE WOMEN AND GIRLS DON’T DESERVE TO BE MUTILATED IN ANY COUNTRY, ANY CULTURE, ANY FUCKING CONTEXT, PERIOD. FUCK YOU ETERNALLY.

[grlreign]

women: we deserve full bodily autonomy

some inbred fucktard: idk bro this seems kinda racist maybe if you took into consideration how important oppressing women is to my people you’d underst

[theladythecla]

“When men are oppressed, it’s a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it’s tradition.” — Letty Cottin Pogrebin

[downwithneocolonialism]

[caffeinewitchcraft]

Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.

Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?

And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run

But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually

Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.

Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply

[neilnevins-deactivated20240617]

“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”

(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)

[vampiricyoshi]

I felt compelled

[gallusrostromegalus]

I don’t think I’ve seen such a finely crafted Looney Toons joke in over two decades. Bravo.

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

everything about whats been happening to elon musk has been getting increasingly and exponentially funnier and i only wonder what the crescendo will be

[borrowedfeathers]

Honestly my money’s on autoerotic asphyxiation.

[dankmemeuniversity]