A Miserable Pile Of Posts

Fever | 25 | tired mostly Screaming into the void 😌😌 Welcome to the shitshow

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

Master list of nonsense

Brief Intro

Hi, I’m Fever!

This blog does not have a theme. However, you will overwhelmingly be able to tell what I am currently fixating on

Ask box is open and I’m open to DMs from mutuals

All tagging details under the break

Any original posts/content are under #feverdreamsandlucidnightmares

My general/personal bullshit is under

#fever’s vibe check

If you are just following me for fandom content and do not want to see me oversharing on the internet this is the tag that you filter out

I also have the #university tag that was basically just me begrudging that I’m in I was in grad school – I GRADUATED 🎉

I have #chronic health and #chronic pain tags as well – I don’t post to them often, but they’re there

If anyone wants specific trigger warnings/content warnings I’m happy to add them just lmk and I try to remember to tag vent posts as #tw vent

My PowerPoints

#mha PowerPoint

#bnha PowerPoint

#PowerPoint

My Incorrect Quotes

#mha incorrect quotes

#dc incorrect quotes

#incorrect aftg

I have substantial fandom tags for

(Currently Updating)

#pokemon

#trigun

#aftg

#tma / #tma podcast

#murderbot / #tmbd

#wha

(Former Interests)

#arcane

#bsd

#bnha / #mha

#dc

#batfam

The bnha tag is uhhhh slightly fucked bc I didn’t tag a bunch of shit for awhile and I was obsessed with it for like 3 years so a lot of my reblogs are untagged. My bad. The dc and batfam tags are similarly fucked.

It is rare that I reblog any bnha, bsd, or dc content at this point, but I’ve posted enough about them in the past to include here.

I have a #trigun rambles tag which is where all my meta analysis/commentary lives and a #Neil’s post-baltimore injuries tag where my research on his injuries and recovery period lives

My Art

#fever does bad art

It’s rare that I post anything to this, especially drawings as I’m primarily a photographer and mostly do portraits - which I don’t have permission to share on here

My Writing

#fever writes

The tag is mainly me discussing ongoing projects and snippets and my fics will be on AO3 if I ever finish them – I’ll post a link if that happens

I’m primarily writing my thesis right now so give me a few months

[xieliancore]

jerejean wooden pin designs for my next con!

[starlightshadowsworld]

No because I can’t imagine how horrifying it was for Neil to hear Riko say “I’m going to enjoy breaking you like I enjoyed breaking Kevin.” Not only because you know he’s gonna get tortured.

But because Riko’s implying he did the same thing to Kevin, someone who Neil admires and cares about even if he’d never admit it.

He realised he was wrong he realised that Kevin never made it out and Riko was more his owner than his brother despite what the media wanted them to believe.

Kevin Day. Kevin Day who pushes himself harder than anyone else. Kevin Day who throws hands with anyone and everyone on and off the court. Kevin Day who can’t say no to Riko. Kevin Day who will never play again if he’s ordered not too. Kevin Day whose bed Neil is handcuffed too as Riko tortures him…like he did Kevin.

Like do you think when Neil went back he started to pay more attention to Kevin to try and see if they had similar scars? It’s not like he would’ve known prior cause he always gets changed in the bathrooms.

Or do you think he’s too afraid that he’ll look in the mirror and see Kevin’s broken eyes staring back at him. Did he try to cut out his number too? Did he even know when it became permanent?

Did Neil think he’d make it out after 2 weeks of hell or did he think of the alcohol in Kevin’s hands and think if he couldn’t how could I?

[logeeka23]

[sehaniine]

clingy boyfriend neil

[animusbell]

having read some Martha Wells interviews it does really tickle me to imagine that when Murderbot asks for a ride, ART is basically doing that thing where you decide to entertain an obvious scam artist for a bit. Like, "Well, this is most likely a corporate spy, but I guess I am spying back on corporates right now so sure LOL let's see what the humans told it to do to trick me"

And then said 'corporate spy' spends 8 straight hours curled up on a chair watching TV and ART is like, "Oh shit you're like, a real person with no agenda. Let's hang out actually"

[perriaeyjeve]

[icaseybaybee]

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

I can physically feel the burnout encroaching,,, it is going to Get me

[scorpionlafemme]

God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

you were almost turned into a vampire, but before you could be fully turned, the vampire was staked. This left you with a vampire weakness, while still being human.

Spin the wheel to find out your weakness!

How much does this effect you?

Nothing changes

It's inconvenient but I can deal with jty

It will be hard to adjust but I'll figure it out

I don't know if I'll be able to live like this

Maybe I can find another vampire to finish the turning?

I might just kill myself

Results/other

Remaining time: 1 day 7 hours

thanks @theemmjay for submitting this poll idea!! Seriously it's such a cool concept I love it so much

[amnhnyc]

This cute little critter isn’t AI-generated. Meet the hairy horned dorid (Acanthodoris atrogriseata.). Found in intertidal habitats in the Northern Pacific, including Washington state’s Puget Sound, this species grows about 1.1 in (2.7 cm) long. The hairy horned dorid is a nudibranch—and it’s just one of the more than 2,000 known species of these soft-bodied marine molluscs!

Photo: Paul Norwood, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

Completely proportionate reaction to the day

(╥﹏╥)

[sea-slug-daily]

Mexichromis trilineata

Image source: https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/345714736

[infriga]

One of the interesting things about the Wolfwood and Ninelives fight in Japanese that was a bit garbled or somewhat omitted in English, is that the entire thing is basically an act. Or at least is framed as one in a way that hints at Wolfwood's double agent status.

Like they are genuinely trying to kill each other to some degree because they don't give a singular shit about each other, but in the beginning Legato says "if he wants to show his fangs, it'll come at a high cost" and then he thinks to himself "He really is the right man for the job/well suited to his role, isn't he?" and while this is interpreted in the translations as him talking about Ninelives, he is most likely talking about Wolfwood there. In this scenario Wolfwood is playing a "traitor", which is funny because he IS supposed to be a traitor, but he's actually meant to betray Vash, not the GHGs. Nightow does a great job balancing the way the characters talk in order to hint at but not completely give away Wolfwood's true motivations/role quite yet. Even when telling Ninelives to deal with Wolfwood, Legato says that he'll rely on Ninelives to "handle" him, with some load bearing quotation marks included. And then at the end when delivering what he thinks is a finishing blow, Wolfwood literally yells "the curtains are closing on you, you lousy/ham actor" at Ninelives. Because Ninelives really hams up their anger in the beginning even though they likely wouldn't really give a shit about whether Wolfwood was actually a traitor or not (though they do seem to be angry for real in general which grows throughout the fight because of Wolfwood beating the shit out of them until they just kinda dissolve into yelling incoherently. Wolfwood actually tells them to stop being so cranky at one point because it's part of the job/business lmao). Partway through Wolfwood even comments on how he's a troublemaker who's always up no good, and that's what got him into this terrible situation (literally "this stinky/rotten place/position"), but even though he's sick of it, it's a hell he can't escape from (this part of his monologue is almost completely lost in translation unfortunately). Like that moment has a real "ain't I a stinker? That's why I'm doomed by the narrative" vibe lmao.

There are sooo many references to the overarching themes between both Leonof and Vash's fight and Wolfwood and Ninelives' presented through the framework of plays and theatre, Leonof tells Vash not to look away from the show when Vash is distracted by the explosion from Wolfwood's rocket, and after Vash shoots a real person unintentionally because he got too comfortable shooting the puppets, Leonof comments on how he has to keep things unpredictable (use an uneven/irregular tempo) in order to draw the audience in. Wolfwood calls Ninelives' abilities a ridiculous country act, and calls his acting terrible while saying the curtains are closing on him. Vash references Guignol, the famous French puppet from the old fashioned French puppet theatre shows that are named after him (the ones with the little hand puppet guys in the little wooden booths) etc.

Beyond just the puppet theming on a surface level I think these constant references to theatre not just with Leonof but also with Wolfwood is because Volume 3 is largely themed around hidden depths and putting on an act. There are the depths of emotions hidden under a surface that obscures it (Vash's calm/gentle expressions hide a dark abyss, Leonof's locked away memories hide the cause of the grief that drove him insane, Wolfwood's brash cynicism hides how trapped and hopeless he feels and his desire to be able to change), getting too lost in a role (Vash playing the gentle pacifist all the time and how unbearable that must be to maintain sometimes in the face of the terrible cruelty he experiences so often, and how inhuman that level of self control can make him seem to others, Ninelives eating the scenery, Wolfwood getting really aggressive from the start in his role of guard dog which results in him being stuck in a death match with Ninelives when they might have let him sit back and play defense without risking his own life as much otherwise), running from how you really feel (Vash's anger and sadness that he keeps a tight lock on, Leonof's grief leading him to seal his own memories away and do terrible things to learn to recreate real people as life-like dolls, Wolfwood's desire to be a better person and wipe his hands clean in some way which he pushes deep down because he doesn't think it's possible to break free from the chains of his past or escape from the hell he's stuck in), even assigning roles to others while denying who they really are (Wolfwood and Leonof dehumanizing Vash, Wolfwood being forced to play the traitor against his will in multiple different ways), or seeing past the mask to the real person underneath (Vash knowing who Leonof really is, understanding why he's made the choices he has, trying to reach out to him, Wolfwood realizing that Vash's inhumanity doesn't actually make him any less human than anyone else in all the ways that matter, the general theme through the series of Wolfwood and Vash seeing through each other's facades from the beginning and coming to an even deeper understanding as they get to know each other), etc.

I didn't really have a specific conclusion in mind with this post just had a lot of thoughts on the themes and stuff while reading Volume 3 in Japanese that I wanted to blab about lol.

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

Me being sad over not getting the job I knew I wasn’t going to get :/

[feverdreamsandlucidnightmares]

Preemptive mourning for my lack of free time