Itâs about a month into my stay and stage in Barcelona. Iâve been writing entries by hand but I want to curate my narrative online; the part of my brain responsible for language is getting some serious exercise, and Iâm finding great joy in writing again. Duolingo states that Iâm about 15% fluent in Spanish, but in terms of sentences like âthe girls drink milk, and We eat fishâTotally non applicable sentences in my everyday kitchen life. Words frequently used and the first I learned:
"Burnâ is âchemoâ pronounced (kay-mo) which is what people say instead of behind. And is also kind of an asshole thing to do in the states if you donât actually have something hot in hand.
âQuidalâ(quee-doll) is âbe carefulâ and vamos (va-mose) means go! In terms of the tasks at the restaurant, so far the only thing Iâve really 'cookedâ at the restaurant per say was razor clams, or ânavajasâ which are baked in salt. The kicker being yang sauce (gan yang: the one with the peas on the front of the bottle). Stagiers are, for the most part, production cooks and laborers but Iâve acquired some dough recipes that are cold held in siphons, which is valuable and unique info. The research and developer the other day was playing with an enzyme called pectinex. I had my roommate translate to him about using it on citrus to dissolve all of the white pith, thus creating totally bitter-free fruit segments. Furthermore, one can flash freeze said fruit in liquid nitrogen, shattering the individual citrus cells apartâtheyâre calls drupletsâ(berries can undergo the same process) and then serving them thawed or partially frozen as a garnish element, salad or cocktail ingredient. He really liked the idea, and told me heâd share it at the creativity meeting.
Iâve noticed some changes with myself. Iâve probably lost 10 pounds due to less caloric intake and the fact that Iâm working 14 hours a day 5 days a week. On average an employee there walks about 6-8 miles a day depending on your role. Iâve begun to take my time when I eat. Flavor is ubiquitous throughout the region and behooves one to savor the food. Knowing food becomes this way through respect for the process and end product reflects itself in the instinctual yet natural manner in which theyâre consumed; Time being an essential ingredient when it comes to breads, cheeses, jamon, etc. Something that slows Americaâs capitalistic conception of âproductivityâ, but this is what the Slow food movement is about. Speaking of which, Iâve slowed my drinking, and I can actually feel a glass of wine. Iâve had just two cigarettes since my arrival. Iâm more mindful of my relationship my body has with my environment. And Iâm trying to rid my bodyâs unhealthy addiction to processed foods and animal products. Treating it, and approaching thoughts of unhealthy cravings as addiction is both true and super helpful for me to react appropriately. Itâs much easier to do in this environment. For what it is and also because here is fresh for me. I do hope though, I career through this thing. I deeply miss Khampaeng, his lovinâ,and Iâm anxious to start moves when I get back.
As for more about the restaurant. It is based in free labor. 60-70% of the individuals that are a part of the restaurant are long term stagiers. Every day, we deseed Guindilla peppers in such a way that the seedpod stays perfectly intact. We de-stem Padron peppers just for the fucking stem. We supreme, then brunoise citrus, pick rose petals, line up 8 rows of ten soba noodles on parchment papZer. We cut and juice like 150 pounds of green apples, we also juice 4 or 5 cases of romain. We cut seaweed and build a razor clam dish and bake them in salt, we fabricate squab which entails cleaving off the head, feet, and wings, gutting them and reserving the livers, detaching the crown of the bird from itâs spine and hindquarters, of which are subsequently chopped and processed to be made into a sauce. We then torch the crowns to remove any feather roots, and vacuum seal them with a double layer of foil liner. We push blended corn through a fine fabric, as we do with a blended olive mixture. This takes forever.
We gut and gill âtrash fishâ from unsustainable fishing methods. And chop into small bits. We take the eyeballs and gills out of monkfish and break it down. Iâve never worked at a more
Trash producing and wasteful restaurant however, and it makes me cringe. Itâs safe to say Iâll most likely be coming home
Soon
Iâm trying to imagine an ideal life or what aspects of one may be. Itâs a start. Goals:
So far Iâve got a sphynx cat, a garden of sorts, a schedule, a fitter body, houseplants, a car. A set of assets related to the professional food system avenue. I.e. Food photography, organization, Photography, a website to harbor these things. A fucking mac desktop. Tattoos. I want to get really good at scheduling. And to have read a good amount of neitzche and Jung. Yes, That reality would be ideal. Iâm really into professor Jordan Peterson right now. Heâs pretty much a genius and itâs been super helpful to watch his YouTube channel in understanding myself and my approach to life. Anyway, Itâs super frustrating not knowing the language, and Iâm one of two that doesnât know Spanish at the restaurant. The other girl Is a 19 year old from a super rich caste in India that literally will mimic anything I say or do and I get to be roommates with her, along with 3 other dudes from South America, two of which are fluent in English.She actually makes me rage though and I donât know how to stop it. She doesnât care about cooking, her story is that she didnât want to become a doctor like the rest of her family (mom,dad,sister) because she didnât want to study. I think sheâs literally 12. Itâs hard making friends because of the language barrier, and even the ones who can speak english donât in social settings. Iâm not sure I can get much more out of being at this restaurant. 70 hour, 5 day work weeks arenât worth the language learning either. I may come home sooner than later. The experience was worth it, but the duration of my original 7 months here, 2 months there is not. If anything Iâve gained a huge appreciation for my home in Washington, and making negative numbers is a sacrifice made only if itâs worthwhile, and right now I project that itâs not going to be.
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