The amount of guilt Jackson feels about Catherine every day. The amount of guilt he feels daily just by looking at her. The amount of guilt that eats him alive. And he could beg her for forgiveness, but he will never forgive himself.
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The amount of guilt Jackson feels about Catherine every day. The amount of guilt he feels daily just by looking at her. The amount of guilt that eats him alive. And he could beg her for forgiveness, but he will never forgive himself.
Sitting in the dark (Final chapter)
That was supposed to be a sketch about the safety one can feel around their partner, but it ended up finishing with a utopian happy ending for both of them 💔
Read on AO3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/84892876/chapters/227016291#workskin
If anyone’s interested, I met Gary Oldman again tonight and asked him a question that’s been burning inside me for a while…
“If it were up to you, would you rather Jackson end up with Standish or Diana?”
He paused, stared into the distance of contemplation for a few moments, then leaned forward and whispered…
“Standish.”
And then he giggled, and then I passed away xoxox
Gary Oldman is officially a Lambdish shipper, pass it on 😚
Fling With First Desk
Jackson Lamb x Diana Taverner
7.9K+ words
18+ smuuuuuuut
Diana Taverner has just been given the position of First Desk, and as much as this has been a life long dream, she has some internal doubts. Those internal doubts are only ever lifted by a certain Jackson Lamb, but can they ever meet in private without delving into secrets of their past? Or, perhaps, even creating some more...
Massive shout out to @loverofartist because without this incredible art, this fic would’ve never been written! Thank you for continuing to inspire me, your art blows my mind 🫶
Jackson’s office had been silent for the first time in a long while. He rested his head back against the chair and exhaled quietly, placing his hands over his stomach. His eyes closed for all of ten seconds before he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Begrudgingly allowing it to disturb his peace, he reached into his pocket and took it out, squinting his eyes as he read the notification on the screen:
Lady Di: Meet me in the new place in 30 minutes.
Jackson’s eyebrows raised and he began to think of a response before his phone buzzed again and another text read:
Lady Di: Bring a packet of cigarettes.
Jackson’s eyebrows almost touched the ceiling at this request.
Jackson: Do I look like a cigarette vending machine?
Lady Di: New place. 30 minutes. Bring the bloody cigarettes.
Jackson let out a small chuckle to himself and pursed his lips as he read her reply a couple of times in her voice — unsure why the demanding tone of it sent a brief tingle down his spine.
Smoking one already on the way there, he made his way to their new meeting place; same canal, just behind some bushes off the side of it instead of where the bench once stood.
As he approached, he was shocked to find her silhouette had already beaten him there.
“As you requested.” Jackson pulled the packet of cigarettes out from his pocket and handed it to her.
“Thank you.” She immediately opened them, placing one in her mouth.
“Are you incapable of buying your own?” Jackson asked, watching her.
“I don’t have time.” Diana spoke against the cigarette.
“Got time to meet me, though, haven’t you?” Jackson shot her a smug expression.
“Lighter?” She reached out her hand with the packet of cigarettes in, hoping for an exchange.
“Fuck me, do you want me to smoke it for you, too?!” Jackson exhaled dramatically, reaching into another pocket and handing her a lighter.
“I’d rather people didn’t know I had even the occasional cigarette, if it’s all the same to you.” Diana spoke as she lifted the lighter to the end of it.
And I’d rather people didn’t know how fucking sexy I think you look smoking them, his internal voice spoke.
Diana took a long drag and exhaled the smoke, “Have you heard the news?”
“What, you’ve started telling the press you’re in love with me now?” Jackson taunted, scoffing playfully when Diana only responded with a glare. “Of course I’ve heard the fucking news, Diana.”
Diana fell silent again and toked on the cigarette a couple more times before saying, “Aren’t you having one?”
“I just finished one.” Jackson shrugged.
“Like that’s ever stopped you before.” Diana glanced over at him.
“Oh, alright, you’ve twisted my arm!” Jackson raised his eyebrows and placed a cigarette between his lips, holding his hand out for return of his lighter.
Diana swallowed hard a placed the lighter back in his palm, but instead of bringing her hand straight back, she let it linger there for a few long moments. Jackson squinted his eyes slightly as he tried to grasp the lighter and pull his hand away, but, instead, he found her hand now grasping onto his.
Jackson swallowed hard and lightly pressed his thumb against the back of her hand, speaking only to clear the awkward silence, “Cold hands?”
Diana shook her head and let go, bringing the cigarette back to her lips as Jackson lit his and then slipped his lighter back into his pocket.
“Do you ever want something so badly, and then when it’s finally given to you, you can only question if you’re even good enough for it?” She asked, tapping the ash off the end of her cigarette onto the ground.
“Diana, if this is about you being good enough for First Desk, I will fucking throttle you.” Jackson rolled his eyes, exhaling the smoke. “If you’ve brought me out on this cold night to cry about not being fucking good enough…”
Diana averted her eyes to the ground for a little while and let out a small sigh before speaking as she lifted her head again, “Am I?”
“Are you what?” Jackson asked in a half bothered tone.
“G…” She paused as if swallowing a lump in her throat. “Good enough?”
“What the fucks your voice trembling for?” Jackson laughed, looking at her, “Usually it’s you making other people tremble.”
“Jackson…” Diana shook her head, “You know it’s always been you who I come to for nothing but the truth. I need to know.”
“I’m not having this fucking conversation, Diana.” Jackson turned his head in the other direction, taking another drag from his cigarette.
“Perhaps I pull out right now before it’s too late,” Diana shrugged, “Push someone further forward… like Devon.”
“No you fucking will not.” Jackson immediately turned back to her, scowling.
Diana raised her eyebrows, looking from her feet to him.
“Diana, put someone like her in a voice of command role, and you’ll see me drop out the fucking service for good.” Jackson toked on the cigarette again. “Then who would you fucking run to when it all goes to shit, hm?”
Diana pursed her lips against the cigarette and Jackson watched out of the corner of his eye as her cheeks caved in from the lengthy drag she took from it, exhaling slowly.
“Back in the day, you used to love a voice in command over you.” She mumbled.
Jackson raised his eyebrows in surprise, coughing into his fist, “Fucking hell, Diana…” He reset himself. “What part of you thinks you’re not good enough?”
“The part of me that always needs to seek your fucking approval, Jackson.” Diana placed her fingertips against her forehead, sighing deeply.
“Seeking my fucking approval?” Jackson laughed, staring at her.
Diana fell silent again and dropped her cigarette to the ground, focusing on it as the wet ground put it out and speaking quietly, “I don’t know if I can do it, you know…”
Jackson gritted his teeth in annoyance. “What makes you say that?”
“Perhaps I’m too old.” Diana mumbled.
“Fucking hell, Diana, you’re really clutching at straws here…” Jackson exhaled heavily, “Too old? If you were one of my Joes trying to shove this ‘woe is me’ narrative down my throat, I’d tell you to fucking grow up. But since you’re already too old…”
“Charming.” Diana muttered.
“Yeah, well, don’t want First Desk being run from your fucking grave.” Jackson raised his eyebrows.
Diana didn’t respond straight away; instead, she pulled lipstick out of her pocket and reapplied it, hoping that she had covered what the cigarette may have taken away since she didn’t have a mirror to check. Jackson, on the other hand, tried to come across as if he wasn’t intently watching the whole process whilst their eye contact was broken.
“You think I’m stupid, don’t you?” Diana looked up at him.
“No.” He shook his head. “But I do think that you believing you’re not the best chance The Service has got is stupid.”
“You’re the best chance The Service has got, Jackson.” Diana couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth.
“Well, behind me, of course.” Jackson spoke and nodded in a playfully arrogant manner, “But I could never fill thoseshoes.”
“Why not?” Diana asked.
Jackson took a final drag from his cigarette and tossed it to join Diana’s on the floor, stubbing it out with the tip of his tattered shoe and speaking as the smoke left his lips, “Too old.”
“Oh-! You-!” Diana glared at him, playfully swatting his shoulder with her hand.
“Will that be all?” He turned to her and raised his eyebrows, “Can I go back to bed now?”
Diana hesitated for a moment and then nodded, “Yes. I think I’ll be alright.”
“I know you’ll be alright, Diana.” Jackson spoke in an unnaturally soft tone, his breath hitching in his throat slightly as they took a step closer to one another.
“And if I’m not?” Diana looked up at him, her eyebrows narrowed.
Jackson raised his hands and placed them on either of her shoulders and said, “Then you know where I am.”
“Thank—”
“To give you a kick up the arse and tell you to stop being so fucking daft.”
“—you.”
Their eyes met and they both exchanged small smiles.
“You’re the only person who I can talk to like this, Jackson.” Diana spoke in a timid tone.
“Because I’m the only one brave enough to tell you to get a fucking grip of yourself.” Jackson raised his eyebrows.
Diana gave him a knowing smile, they both knew he was right.
“You’re gonna be just fine, Diana.” Jackson’s hands fell from her shoulder to the small of her back, holding her there as he spoke, “And you don’t need the top runt of Slough House to tell you that.”
Diana let out a quiet laugh but was immediately silenced when she felt his lips gently graze her forehead. She placed her hands against his chest and closed her eyes briefly, finding the whole act strangely comforting. When she opened them, however, she caught his eyes, and for a moment, his face looked like the most angelically tempting thing she had ever seen — not something someone would often describe him as, if ever. Diana leaned into it, though, and in turn, leaned into him, and before she knew it, she was kissing him.
Jackson kissed her back as if this was a moment they usually shared, and his arms remained around her, their eyes closing. Diana’s fingertips pressed against the opening of his coat and she let out a shaky breath as she leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss him again.
“Now, that’s not very fucking First-Desk-like, is it?” Jackson smirked, pulling back briefly.
Diana’s fingers now gripped onto the lapels of his overcoat and brought him closer to her again. “Just shut up and kiss me.”
“Oh, is this my first order from First Desk?” Jackson pursed his lips, turning them slightly so that they were stood behind the brick wall and a little more out of view. “Who am I to disobey?”
“Exactly.” Diana purred, parting her lips before kissing him this time.
Jackson wasn’t entirely sure what he had said or done in order to end up in this current position, but he certainly didn’t want to question it and ruin the moment. Instead, he followed her lead, tilting his head to the side and deepening the kiss. The taste of the cigarette mixed with her lipstick took him back to memories from years ago; memories that still caused a stir in his groin.
Her hands found his face and she kissed him desperately, their eyes still closed as they forgot about needing to breathe. Jackson, however, did not expect in a million years for the following words to come out of her mouth as the kiss broke:
“The last few days have been terrifyingly hectic and mentally exhausting.” She paused, his face still in her hands, and then whispered, “Do you think we could pretend we’re back in Berlin again?” She kissed him slowly, but just once. “Just for one night?”
“Who would I be to turn down orders from First Desk?” Jackson smirked, nudging her backward a little.
Diana squealed quietly when her back touched the wall. “Would it make you agree any quicker if it was an order from First Desk?”
“Not particularly, Diana,” Jackson raised his eyebrows, leaning down to press their lips back together after saying, “Always been your most fucking obedient servant.”
Diana grinned and snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him into a more desperate kiss. Jackson lost his breath from the way she was acting and tilted his head, one of his hands making their way to her skirt. Diana’s fingers began to tangle in the greasy hair at the nape of his neck and she let out a soft moan that sent Jackson’s head spinning.
Their lips smacked together repeatedly and Jackson’s hand made its way higher up her thigh. Diana pulled on his hair lightly with one hand and slid the other down the front of his body, making Jackson shiver against her. Once her fingers met the waistband of his trousers, he sucked his stomach in briefly, letting out a shaky breath against her lips. In once sudden movement, he lifted her thigh and hooked it to his waist, lightly brushing his hips forward.
“Ugh, fuck…” Diana whined, pulling back from the kiss and looking up at him with her eyebrows narrowed.
“Something the matter?” Jackson asked, half in a daze.
“We can’t do this here,” She let out a half-hearted laugh, “We’re not that young anymore…”
Jackson laughed with her and exhaled slowly, their eyes meeting again. “Mine or yours?” He arched a brow. “Or would you still rather bathe in the canal?”
Before Diana even had a chance to respond Jackson added, “Probably already wet enough to be the fucking canal at this point. Hard to tell the difference. Always fucking gagging for it.”
Diana gasped from his words and found the slight protrusion in his trousers, cupping him gently as she gave him a stern look.
“Are we really going to have a conversation about what’s harder, hm?”
Jackson shook his head and swallowed hard — there were times where he was genuinely scared she’d be capable of ripping his balls clean off.
Diana smiled sweetly. “Mine.”
The awkward shuffle with his overcoat wrapped around him to try and disguise the bump in the front of his pants felt like it took forever, but once they were sat in his car and her fingers were inspecting the inner seam of his trousers more thoroughly than a case at The Park, he soon came to the conclusion that it was worth it.
His eyes flickered down to her hand briefly. “What would you do if somehow everyone from The Park found out just how fucking desperate you are for me?”
Diana let out a snobbish, singular laugh and said, “I hope you’ve got your flight fund handy.”
Jackson laughed and bent his elbow against the window, resting his index finger over his top lip and letting out a muffled noise as Diana’s fingers now ran over the entirety of his cock still kept tightly in his trousers.
“The further your hand moves just makes each lay-by we pass look more and more appealing.” He said, his eyes remaining forward.
“Nothing we haven’t done before.” Diana pursed her lips.
Jackson forced himself to concentrate on the road, though his mind was immediately transported to a time where his hand was on the back of her head whilst her face was buried in his open pants — and that was even before they had pulled over. He remembered a little too clearly how his hands would start to struggle against the steering wheel and how he had to force his eyes not to roll back in pleasure.
“Don’t tempt me with a good time, Diana…” Jackson mumbled against his finger.
“A really good time.” Diana licked her lips, fumbling with the zip on the front of his trousers.
“Too old for fooling around against a wall, but not too old to fuck in a ditch?” Jackson raised his eyebrows. “Make that make sense.”
Diana laughed and brought her hand back to herself, turning her head to look out of the window. Jackson’s own hand made it’s way to her thigh and he glanced over at her subtly once it settled there to make sure she was okay with it. Of course she was okay with it — the immediate parting of her legs made him well aware of that, it was almost like muscle memory.
“Gagging for it…” He mumbled under his breath, his fingers naturally sweeping under the hem of her skirt and making a direct route to the front of her underwear.
“F-Fuuuck…” Diana breathed out and tilted her head back against the passenger headrest, allowing herself to fully immerse into the feeling of his fingers taunting her over her underwear. Her eyes closed, rolled back, more like, and mouth gaped open — moans soon following.
Jackson smirked to himself and felt a rather large pulse in the front of his own underwear from the way she was acting. He hadn’t gotten hard this easily in months.
“Ja…” She inhaled sharply when he started circling his fingers, having to force herself not to grip his wrist and push him against her with even more pressure. “Mmh, don’t stop.”
“Sorry, love,” Jackson abruptly pulled his hand away, “I’ve got to.”
“Why?!” Diana whined, her eyes still closed.
Jackson inhaled sharply — the way she whined at him always turned him on — and turned the ignition off of his car. “Because we’re here.”
The pace in which they got out of his car and into her house, even with the scrambling around for her key and opening the door, could’ve entered them both into the ’desperate for meaningless sex Olympics’.
They fell through the door and clumsily shut it behind them, the speed of her locking it also potentially holding it’s own World Record, and stumbled about in the hallway. Jackson immediately reached for her hips to draw her into him and she wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to push her up against the wall whilst their lips urgently smacked back together.
Jackson’s breathing became even heavier when he felt Diana slide her hand down the small gap between them and reached for the buckle of his belt, making him mumble against her lips, “Mmh, you’re wasting no time tonight, Diana. Straight for the goods.”
“Shut up…” Diana grunted, bringing her other hand to help speed up the process.
“Fuck…” Jackson gasped, able to feel the urgency in her fingers.
His lips parted further and he reached down for her thigh, bringing it to his hip and squeezing his hand around it gently. Diana gave up with the belt in the process and snaked her arms around his neck again, panting against his lips, “Take me to bed.”
“It’s your house,” Jackson chuckled weakly, pressing a harsh kiss to her lips, “You take me to fuckin’ bed.”
Diana gripped the lapels of his overcoat and pushed him backward slightly before turning her body and walking backward in the direction of the steps. Jackson placed his hands on the small of her back and kept her close enough so their lips could remain in touch. Diana bit down on his bottom lip gently and let out a breathy giggle from the small squeak he made before grasping onto him tighter as she stumbled backwards a little.
“Careful, love!” Jackson fell with her but quickly placed one of his hands on the back of her head in order to shield it from the impact of the stairs as they landed.
Diana shut her eyes tightly as they both tumbled and only opened them once she felt him land with her. “Oh, my saviour.” She giggled.
“Your saviour might have just broken his fucking wrist.” Jackson grumbled and Diana glanced to the side of him to see his free hand flat on the step next to her head to hold himself upright.
“Your wrists not important.” She spoke lowly, gazing up at him with needy eyes.
Before Jackson even had a chance to respond, Diana had repositioned herself beneath him on the stairs so that her legs were now hooked around his hips. Jackson let out a shaky breath and stared down at her, feeling his cock desperately pushing against the front of his trousers as she rocked up against him lightly.
“What… are you doing to me?” He spoke breathlessly — the look on her face was enough to make him dizzy as she continued to taunt the front of his trousers.
“Can’t wait…” She whispered, biting her lip and narrowing her eyebrows, “Need you here, Jackson…”
“Oh, fucking…” Jackson felt himself throb violently in his crotch and carefully removed his hand from her head to hold himself upright properly.
“Please, Jackson…” Diana sighed, reaching for his beard and pushing her trembling fingers through it.
“For fuck sake, woman, it’s a good job I’m a man of a certain age…” Jackson practically panted out his words, “If you’d have been like this with me in my youth I’d have fucking lost it by now.”
Diana reached up to press a desperate kiss to his lips. “Not yet.” She mumbled. “Don’t rob me of the luxury…”
Jackson felt the breath hitch in his throat and pressed his body to hers as he kissed her back, but the moan she made when she felt his weight on top of her made him almost collapse on top of her completely.
“You’re gonna fucking kill me if you don’t stop, Diana.”
“Can’t be having that.” She grinned, brushing her body up against his and whispering huskily against his lips, “Not before you’ve made me scream your name.”
“Oh, Jesus f–!” Jackson inhaled sharply, unable to stop himself from brushing back against her now as they kissed. “I-I’m not sure our backs will survive a fuck on the stairs at our age…”
“Jackson…” She whined in that tone she knew drove him wild. “First Desk needs you now.”
Jackson felt himself going lightheaded from her words alone and began to rip her blouse open as their kisses grew like wildfire. They remained like that for a little while until Jackson dropped to a couple of steps below on his knees, wincing a little. He reached behind and took hold of either of her calves, carefully placing them on the step above him.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Diana bit her lip and leaned back on her elbows, watching him with heavy eyes.
Jackson licked along his bottom lip and reached under her skirt with both hands, grasping her underwear and looking up at her as he spoke, “Obeying my orders from my superior.”
“Such a good Agent.” Diana flashed him a devilish grin.
Jackson pulled her underwear off her legs as if muscle memory and tossed it over his shoulder before lifting each of her legs over his shoulders.
“Mm, so careless. You used to keep those.”
“Shut up.” Jackson said, though his voice was muffled by his lips already being pressed to the inside of one of her legs.
Diana bit her lip and tilted her head to one side, concentrating on the path of his kisses as they travelled further up her inner thigh. Then came his tongue. Oh, his tongue. Her back arched briefly and she welcomed the warmth against her, instinctively reaching down to brush her fingers against his head.
“How can a mouth that spouts such obscenities behave like this…” Diana’s mouth hung open as her head fell back to the step above.
She didn’t even need to lift herself or readjust, he knew exactly what to do. Exactly where to go. Exactly what she liked.
Jackson’s tongue worked the magic she praised it for, and he tried his best to fight off the urges to attempt fucking the stair his crotch was resting on. Diana laced his hair between her fingers and moaned his name several times, her legs tightening over his shoulders and toes curling in delight.
Jackson was right, however; if this had been back in their early Berlin days, he would be dealing with a rather unpleasant, warm stickiness in his underwear right now. Instead, after years of self control, he had learned how to guide and execute his own self control. The only difference was, if this was back in the sleazy Berlin days of fancy hotel rooms and drunken stumbles against an executive lounge wall, at least he knew he would’ve been ready to go again within ten or fifteen minutes. Whereas now he had to bide his time and not waste or ruin the only shot he had. Literally.
That being said, he retreated his head from under her skirt, much to her dislike, and gazed up at her, licking the remanence from his lips.
“No…” She whimpered, her body shuddering as she breathed. “Don’t… stop.”
“Diana, if you want tonight to be like Berlin,” He raised his body a little, their heavy eyes now meeting, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think my tongue is the main attraction.”
Diana pursed her lips. “It was a very close second.”
“Be that as it may, the thing taking the top prize is now causing me quite a fucking problem.” Jackson gazed down at her.
“Why?” Diana squinted her eyes and then gasped playfully. “Can’t get it up?”
Jackson shook his head. “Can’t get it down.”
Diana’s lips pursed again and she let out a little giggle. “Good.”
“No,” Jackson shook his head, “Not good. Too much sudden movement and it’ll fucking go off.”
“I already told you; no.” Diana scowled at him playfully and reached out to brush her fingertips against his beard.
“What we gonna do, then?” Jackson raised his eyebrows. “Stay here ‘till my balls go the same colour as fucking blueberries?”
Diana wanted to laugh but pressed her lips together in order to stop herself. “If you remove your weight from on top of me, we could always go to bed…”
“Fucking charming.” Jackson scoffed and raised himself up a little. “Not like you almost had me breaking my fucking wrist getting down here in the first place.”
“Christ, if you still fuck like you complain, I’m in for a treat.” Diana widened her eyes, watching him getting to his feet with as much grace as an elephant.
Jackson exhaled heavily and stepped over her head on the above step, wincing as he felt his clothed erection bounce in the front of his trousers.
“Oh, don’t worry about me, Jackson,” Diana spoke sarcastically as she got to her feet, “I can get up myself.”
“Good.” Jackson spoke with his back to her, looking down the hallway to her bedroom.
“Maybe I should leave you to suffer.” She huffed as she walked past him, purposely barging into him.
Jackson placed his hand against the wall to maintain his balance and scowled, watching her with narrowed eyes as she lead the way to her bedroom door. She pushed it open with force and glanced over her shoulder before walking inside, causing Jackson to stand there with pursed lips.
Slowly, he advanced toward her cracked open bedroom door and paused.
“Should I knock?”
“The doors open.”
Jackson crinkled his nose, biting his lip for a moment. “You not gonna invite me in?”
He heard Diana sigh from inside and grinned. “Oh, grow up, Jackson.”
Jackson’s grin grew wider.
Diana’s bedroom door creaked as he nudged it open with his fingertips. Instead of walking in, he leaned lazily against the frame, arms loosely crossed, eyes drifting around the room before settling on her.
Diana had her back to him, stood at her dresser whilst taking her earring out.
“Christ, you expecting a rough ride?” He taunted, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
She glanced at him in the reflection of the mirror on her dresser, unimpressed.
Slowly, Jackson advanced toward her, well aware that she was watching him through the mirror out of the corner of her eye.
His head dipped enough to whisper into her ear. “I believe congratulations are in order, Miss. Taverner.”
Diana’s breath caught in her throat.
“Or, should I say, Little Miss First Desk…”
Diana gave in and flashed a small smile, feeling the warmth creeping up the back of her neck.
Jackson continued. “You should be pleased with yourself, Diana, taking the reins at your age, like you said. Proud, even.”
His hands were itching to be on her hips. Lips tingling to be pressed to any part of her — not that anything his body language or expression would have given any of it away.
Diana met his eyes in the mirror again. “Shouldn’t I be?”
“Oh, you should,” he said. “But you’re not celebrating.”
She turned then, finally facing him fully.
“I don’t celebrate promotions that come with targets on my back.”
Jackson tilted his head, studying her. Hi Jackson-Lamb-like crooked smirk faded into something quieter.
“Too late for that,” he said. “You’ve had one for years.”
Diana folded her arms now, mirroring the stance he’d had in the doorway earlier.
“And yet,” she said lightly, “here I am.”
For a moment Jackson didn’t answer. Then the smirk came back, but slower this time.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “Here you are.”
Jackson’s smirk lingered a moment longer in the mirror, then he stepped closer, closing the gap between them. Diana felt it before she saw it—the shift of his weight behind her, the warmth of him at her back. His hands settled slowly on her hips, deliberate, like he was giving her time to object. She didn’t. She never did. To tell the truth, she never would. Her breath hitched instead.
Jackson leaned in, his mouth near her ear, the faint scrape of stubble brushing her skin. “And here I am, too,” he murmured.
The words were softer than his usual taunts, deep, low, almost sensual.
Diana’s fingers curled against the edge of the dresser. She could see both of them in the mirror now, his tall frame behind hers, hands firm on her waist, his gaze fixed not on her body but on her face. Jackson’s thumbs shifted slightly against her hips, a slow, absent movement that made her stomach tighten.
Diana turned around, and desperately smacked her lips to his—teeth clattering from the clumsiness of it. Jackson froze for half a second before his hand slid up her back, pulling her closer as he kissed her back just as fiercely. The impact of it nudged her lightly against the dresser behind her. Diana’s fingers gripped the front of his shirt, dragging him nearer as though small distance had suddenly become intolerable.
The kiss deepened, messy with frustration and something far more complicated. Not victory. Not comfort. Something that felt dangerously like both. Something that they only ever felt for each other.
When they finally broke apart, their foreheads nearly touched, both breathing harder than before. Jackson let out a quiet, disbelieving huff of a laugh—he was always smugly aware of being the only man one capable of bringing out this side of Diana. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t already kissed—and ended up with his head under her skirt—tonight, but, regardless, this was the side she would only show to him.
“Well,” he said.
Diana’s eyes were still closed for a second longer before she opened them.
“Don’t,” she said breathlessly.
“Don’t what?”
“Make a joke.”
His mouth curved anyway, though softer now. His lips pursed.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, First Desk.”
Her grip on his shirt tightened slightly. “Jackson…”
But she didn’t finish the sentence. His lips were already claiming her again. Only this time, each of her kisses were met with a pop of his shirt buttons, desperately pulling his shirt off completely. Meanwhile, Jackson’s hands found the buttons on her blouse, then the zip at the side of her skirt and ragged it down a lot smoother than someone would have expected. Almost as if he had her clothing choices memorised—and the fastest ways to take them off.
Diana stepped away from the dresser and raised both arms above her head, though growing rather impatient with each second their lips weren’t attached. She reached for his trousers and unbuckled his belt, her hands then instantly darting for the opening to his trousers.
“Fuck me, you’re gonna make me fucking blow before I’ve got my cock out if you’re not careful…” Jackson half chuckled. “Slow down, woman.”
“I’m not ashamed to say how much I need this.” Diana panted.
Jackson’s lips curled into a smirk. “Need this, or need me?”
Once Jackson’s trousers were fully unfastened, she reached inside and started to gently palm her hand against his hardened length, lightly biting down on his bottom lip before speaking;
“Either way, it’s the same answer.”
Jackson let out a soft noise from the back of his throat and felt his eyes threatening to close. Diana grasped him through his underwear and his eyes immediately darted open, reaching behind her and unclipping her bra in one motion before dropping it to the floor and turning them both around, guiding her backwards towards her bed. Her bed that was covered in expensive, silky sheets, and about to fall victim to one of the most explicit scenes it had ever seen.
Once the back of Diana’s calves touched the bottom of her bed, she sat down on it and grasped Jackson’s trousers in the process. Jackson’s eyes flickered downwards as she pushed his trousers down passed his hips and then licked her lips when her focus landed upon his underwear and the prominent pole inside it.
Diana silently glanced up at Jackson’s face for a moment—a wicked, devilish grin on her lips as her fingertips grasped the waistband of his underwear and pushed them down enough for his cock to spring out of them. Jackson’s breath caught in his throat and he swallowed nervously, staring down at her with heavy eyes. Diana giggled and wrapped her hand around the base of his hardened cock, puckering her lips.
“Diana…” Jackson attempted to say clearly, but it only came out as a faint noise.
Diana raised her eyebrows and sucked her lips in for a moment, wetting them properly before leaning forward and pressing them to the head of his cock, closing her eyes.
Jackson let out a pathetic whimper and placed a shaky hand on the top of her head, his jaw locking as she suckled on him gently. Diana’s hand squeezed around him and her free hand skilfully pushed his underwear to his feet, her lips still enveloped around him.
“D…Di…” Jackson’s eyebrows narrowed, gasping softly each time he felt her tongue brush against him sensitively. “Fuck.”
Diana pulled her head back and the head of his cock left her lips with a little pop. She gazed up at him and slid her fist loosely up and down his length, her eyes settling deeply on his. Her free hand now pressed against the back of his thighs, bringing him even closer to her.
“Have I managed to silence Jackson Lamb?” she grinned.
Jackson stared down at her with heavy eyes—it would probably shock a lot of people to their deaths to discover that this was a position he had found himself in countless times before.
He swallowed hard. “Diana, you will have managed to bring me to my fucking knees if you don’t stop.”
Diana bit her lip. “First task as First Desk; suck Jackson Lamb’s cock without getting a disease.”
Jackson’s lips parted to say something back but all that left them were weak exhales of air. Diana leaned in closer to him and lapped her tongue against the tip of him, her eyes still looking up at him.
“If you’re not fucking careful…” Jackson inhaled shakily, “I swear to fucking god, Diana…”
“Mm, what?”
Jackson didn’t answer, just closed his eyes. Diana pointed him toward her mouth again and smirked, smacking her lips together.
“If you…” he hissed between his teeth, “I’ll fucking blow, and then what?” his voice came out slightly strangled—anticipating the untimely release.
Diana bit her lip to hold back a laugh. “Pathetic.”
But before Jackson even had a chance to respond, her head was darting back to his crotch again—only this time she just rubbed her lips all along the underside of his cock, and this still made him helplessly yelp and his toes curl nonetheless. His heart was beating dangerously, unsure if he was preempting an orgasm or heart attack.
Diana rolled her eyes and moved onto the bed properly, her eyes walking all over him as she leaned back on her elbows with one of her legs bent.
“Get down here and fuck me, then.” Diana raised her eyebrows—her words alone sending an almighty pulse to Jackson’s cock. “That’s an order, Lamb.”
Jackson’s entire body shuddered in anticipation and he leaned down to crash their lips together, slotting himself between her legs as if she were pulling him in like a vacuum cleaner—something he probably didn’t even know how to use.
Diana’s fingers dived into his hair and her back arched once she felt him thrust all the way inside her with ease.
‘Ugh.’
They both grunted in unison.
Jackson’s hands gripped onto the sheets at either side of her head and their teeth now clattered together with the clumsiness of his movements whilst he tried to find his rhythm. He could feel Diana smirking as a result, and this only made him thrust even sloppier.
“Forgotten how to fuck, hm?” Diana giggled, curling a strand of his hair around her fingers as she nipped at his lips.
“Fuck off.” Jackson grumbled.
Diana spread her legs out further for a few moments before bringing them in again and hooking them around his waist, trying to help him with his pace.
“Come on, Lamb…” Diana whined, knowing this would turn him on even more, “I said First Desk needs you now.”
Jackson slammed his lips back down onto hers — perhaps a little bit scared that if she continued talking like that things would end very abruptly, and that was probably the best way to shut her up.
Diana gasped from the force of it and grasped onto his shoulders, kissing him back in between moans as he bucked his hips forward desperately. Her moans sent chills throughout his body, and when he felt her nails digging into his back, he couldn’t help but start to moan louder.
“Mmh, fuck, Jackson…” Diana spoke breathlessly, her fingers now trembling against his back as his hips bucked. “That’sit.”
“Yeah?” Jackson grunted. “Is this what you wanted, you filthy fucking tart?”
Diana squealed from his question — she always secretly became even more turned on when he bad mouthed her. He was the only one that could… and get away with it.
“You know better than anyone, Jackson Lamb…” her voice was low now, grasping onto his hair to bring him down into a harsh kiss, “treat me like a princess and fuck me like a whore.”
“You’ve not changed one fucking bit.” Jackson smirked, kissing her back roughly.
“I’d say the same about you, but you used to know what showers were.” Diana retorted, then moaned his name from the sudden force of his thrust.
“Yeah,” he grunted, “something I’d partake in after we’d fucked in a fancy hotel room.”
The bed squeaked for a few moments as he relived those years in his mind before adding,
“Sometime’s I’d use the fancy fucking soaps in there as lube whilst reliving the earth-shattering moments before.”
“You’re fucking disgusting.” Diana grinned against his lips, kissing him harder and raising her hips to desperately meet his.
“And you fucking love it.”
Diana’s eyes rolled back from this sudden new found thrust of his hips.
“Always have.”
“I can fuck you to your grave, if you’d like?”
“Tempting offer,” she lightly laughed, “but I’m afraid First Desk needs me.”
“Not as much as I need First Desk.”
Diana’s nails clawed at his back, and Jackson’s hips began to buck messily, but albeit mercilessly. The two of them shouted vulgar words and obscenities, and the bed beneath them began to join in from the force of what it was holding. Their pores were sweating with secrets of the past. Jackson’s head fell forward and Diana’s lips were quick to react by latching onto the side of his neck. Even his skin tasted smokey.
“Fuck…” Jackson’s stomach jolted.
Diana’s jaw locked, her legs still wrapped around him but beginning to tremble.
“Don’t stop.” Diana gasped, then repeated a little more firmly. “Don’t.”
Jackson lifted his head and stared down at her, completely red in the face from exertion.
“Who am I to disobey orders from First Desk?”
“Precisely.” Diana flashed him a smirk and smacked their lips back together, encouraging his hips against hers again.
“Diana…” Jackson inhaled shakily, squeezing his eyes shut. “Di—!”
Diana was about to ask him something, but it was already too late. Jackson had already reached his peak, and he was spilling out his climax with each wheezy thrust.
“Don’t– you– fucking– dare– stop–!” she gasped, her eyes rolling back as she felt him fill her with his warmth.
Her hands moved down to his hips and she pushed him against her the best she could in the state she was in, moaning uncontrollably as she wriggled in pleasure beneath him.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Diana!” Jackson sounded like he was about to start the death rattle, “I’m gonna have no fucking cock left!”
“I don’t… fucking…” but her voice trailed off as the heat throughout her body suddenly amplified, tittering on the edge of her own orgasm. “…care.”
“Oh, fucking… fuck…” Jackson spluttered, the sensitivity of his cock sending painful bolts of pleasure through him as he continued to move.
“Jackson!” Diana’s jaw locked, and she fell to the mercy of him, arching her back as her eyes squeezed even tighter shut. “J-Jackson fucking Lamb!”
Diana shivered in pleasure, clinging onto him as the waves of pleasure rang through her. She leaned up to kiss him harshly, but he pulled back after less than a second so that he could continue to pant as if he’d just ran a marathon.
“Mmmhhh…” Diana exhaled with a grin, biting her lip as she tilted her head back against the pillow. “Such a good boy.”
Jackson’s lip twitched, and with what she’d just said, if he really thought about it, his cock might have twitched back to life, too.
“Can I stop now?” he asked, genuinely looking like he was about to need medical assistance.
Dianna nodded and unhooked her legs, biting her lip as she looked up at him.
“You might be a horrible bastard,” she said once catching her breath, “but you’re an obedient bastard.”
“Oh, right.” Jackson raised his eyebrows, falling to the side of her. “And they say romance is fucking dead.”
“Have you got any more cigarettes?” Diana asked, sitting up against the headboard.
“Cigarettes?” Jackson asked, squinting his eyes briefly. “You want to be careful, I’ve heard they’re very addictive.”
“Yeah?” Diana raised her eyebrows sarcastically. “Is that why you always keep a packet on you?”
Jackson didn’t answer, just swung his legs off the bed and reached for his trousers, fishing around in the pockets for his packet of cigarettes. As he bent further, he broke wind.
Diana gasped loudly and covered her mouth. “Christ, you’re revolting.”
“Oh, you think I’m revolting?” Jackson scoffed, turning back around to her. “Say that to my empty balls.”
Diana’s eyes widened, unsure what to say for a few moments before speaking, “I’m saying it to your drooping cock.”
“My cock does not droop!” Jackson scoffed, gesturing toward it with an offended expression, “I-It simply bows at the end of it’s fucking performance!”
“Oh, you—!” Diana launched a pillow at him, trying not to laugh. “All I’m saying is, back in the day, we’d already be on round two or three by now, and thinking about which surface would be the victim of our fourth. I’ve lost count how many time we woke up wearing nothing but each other.”
Jackson let out a chuckle and nodded. “Yeah, row and fuck, fuck and row, row and fuck.” he clambered ungracefully back onto the bed. “That’s how we used to be.”
“Healthy.” Diana smiled sarcastically.
“Yeah, well, all I’ll say is you only need one person to witness a murder,” Jackson placed both cigarettes in his mouth and lit them before handing one to Diana, “and at least three people to witness a marriage. That tells me which is more fucking dangerous.”
Diana laughed and rolled her eyes, placing the cigarette between her lips and taking a drag from it. Jackson unintentionally mirrored her, sat up against the headboard.
“Fuck,” he glanced over at her, watching as the smoke left her lips.
“What?”
“Did I just go back twenty years and wake up in Berlin?” Jackson arched a brow.
Diana shrugged, smiling. “Stop being so sentimental.”
“Oh, god forbid Jackson Lamb is fucking sentimental.” Jackson spoke against the cigarette.
Diana crinkled her nose, shrugging again.
“You’ve wanted this fucking job since before you had wrinkles. Way back when you used to wear skimpy short skirts and smoked like a chimney.” he gestured his cigarette in the air as he spoke, “And now you’ve got it.” his gaze fixed upon her cigarette for a moment, “still smoking, you’ve just lost the skirt all together now.”
Diana remained silent but pursed her lips, trying not to laugh at his choice of words.
“Stop trying to act tough,” he nudged her. “Drop the act, Diana.” He could tell she was secretly still a bit weary of her new role. “It’s me.”
“Yes,” she nudged him back, “I’ve already done all my confessing of doubts to you. I won’t bore you with it again.”
“Well,” Jackson leaned over to a tissue box on her bedside table and tapped his ash carelessly into it, “if we’re talking about confessions, I don’t think there has or ever will be a time where watching you smoke a cigarette doesn’t make my cock ache.”
“Ha-bloody-ha.” Diana shook her head like a disapproving teacher.
“What?” Jackson couldn’t help but grin.
“Not doing a right lot now, is it?” she raised her eyebrows authoritatively.
“Give it fucking time, woman!” Jackson exhaled heavily, airily waving his cigarette between his fingers, “we’ve been through this, he’s just having a rest after the fucking astonishing performance you just received.”
“M’hm.” she licked her lips, holding the cigarette between her fingers.
“See,” Jackson tilted his head, his lip curving, “got you smiling now.”
“Don’t worry,” Diana laughed, “tomorrow I’ll go back to being terrifying again.”
Jackson took a long drag from the cigarette, staring forward as he exhaled the smoke.
“Oh, you’re always fucking terrifying, Diana.”
Diana scowled playfully. “Don’t analyse me, Lamb.”
Jackson laughed just once, toking on the cigarette once more before pursing his lips, “Too fucking late for that.”
Diana rolled her eyes and shook her head, bringing the cigarette back to her lips. Jackson eyed her dramatically and pursed his lips, winking at her. She turned her head to purposefully blow the smoke in his face, making him squint and turn away with a grumble.
“Well, I have to say,” Jackson cleared his throat, “this isn’t exactly how I expected my first meeting with First Desk to go…” he took another drag from his cigarette whilst Diana thought of a response. “Or was it?”
Diana shoved him playfully whilst he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“Actually, I’ve been thinking…” Diana puckered her lips against the cigarette.
“Oh, Christ…” Jackson inhaled.
“Perhaps I need a night with you every now and then.” Diana stubbed her cigarette out before turning to him with a sweet smile. “Just to remind myself that, if it ever does all turn to shit, it could be worse. I could be in bed with Jackson Lamb.”
---
Thank you so much for reading! I absolutely adore writing these two, and I hope you enjoyed reading it ☺️❤️
Tags!:
@smilingwind @aladio-milhomes @shipthelambs @offantasyandfiction @b-go @outsidetherain6070 @bedannibal-lectaurier @ronioak @yuzukaede @wovenwatchernymph @bu-66-aloo @ffrederiks @catherinestandishstits @thealdersgateoffice
oh the darkness got a hold on me
lamb x standish (slow horses) meet me in the woods - lord huron screencaps - @johhans and myself
"because love can burn like a cigarette and leave you alone with nothing".
i love when women clearly have something wrong with them
Like being in love with their boss 😗
"They were in the back of a taxi, Lamb taking up seventy percent of the available space, and Catherine wishing the day over."
© Mick Herron, Joe Country
🐺 🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺 mom
Was messing around with pixel art a bit, so here's Catherine walking with her tiny legs
need s6 like i need air to breathe!!!
lamb x standish (slow horses) shake it - metro station screencaps - @johhans and myself
need s6 like i need air to breathe!!!
lamb x standish (slow horses) shake it - metro station screencaps - @johhans and myself
Gm
“When you’re having sex,” Catherine asked, “do you prefer to be on top?”
Emma raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, sorry. I assumed it was my turn to ask an impertinent question.”
missing their chaotic duo :(((

