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Do you ever get into one of those moods where you can’t help but laugh at yourself while everyone around you looks at you like you’re insane. Hey folks, I’m Jonathan and i’m definitely insane but only on the weekends. The rest of the week I have to behave. How’s it going?

ffssamberg-blog

Dude, all the time but that’s because I think I’m hilarious and if I don’t laugh at myself, nobody else will. It’s a well known fact i’m insane anyway so I don’t think anyone is ever surprised. Only insane on the weekend? Weak. Channel that insanity all week.

#c: jonathan

Text || Andy

Chyler: Awesome. How does seven sound? I'll send you my address.

Andy: Seven sounds good to me! I'll see you then.

#text: chyler

queenvh‌:

It was inevitable Andy. You should have expected that this is where we would end up. I’ll La la land you.

I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming. This is how all great love stories go. It’s romantic comedy gold. I always wanted my life to be just like a musical. You’re making my dreams come true.

#c: vanessa

Text || Andy

Chyler: Does my house sound ok to you? I have bottles and bottles of wine here.

Andy: That sounds perfect. I could do with getting wine drunk myself. It's been a crazy few weeks.

#text: chyler

suggingzoe‌:

i’m pretty sure there are no more tears left to cry in this world. this is us has officially run me straight out of tears. i am pretty much at the end of season 2 and i’ve been hooked on it since the first episode. but i don’t know how to stop crying. i don’t know if it’s because i’m just a sad human being, or if it’s because of my most recent break up. but i just see something happen and i relate so closely to it and i just start bawling my poor eyes out. this simply isn’t fair.

I always wanted to watch this show but if it’s making you cry that much then I’m second guessing if I want to. I don’t want to drown everyone with my tears. Well, it’d just be me but... i don’t want to drown myself. Break-ups are the worst, I feel you. I just went through one too so I know the feeling. You need to go watch a comedy or something. I suggest Brooklyn Nine Nine. Really great show, I’ve heard.

#c: zoe

queenvh‌:

You know what? I think we should go on a date.

I knew once we started a business together this would happen. Will you wine and dine me? I want 100% romance, Vanessa.

#c: vanessa

lixmhems‌:

I’m sure you did, like I would have went insane after a week of no sleep. Good that you slept and you’re ready to take on the world again. I’m sure that there were a few people there that were paying attention and thought your jokes were funny, or at least the million people at home that were tuning in. It’s the life dream that probably would never be fully possible. You’re in a band?

I’m making sure I never go that long without sleep again. Not for myself but for the people around me having to deal with me. I was probably the worst. I think there were a few. I heard a couple people cheering so it wasn’t all bad. I had fun anyway. I’d do it again if they asked me but they probably won’t. No, I lied. I wanted to seem cool. Nah, I’m kidding. I really am in a band. The Lonely Island. We’re kind of awesome. Who do you think made ‘Everything Is Awesome’ for Lego Movie? They’d only let an awesome band do that.

#c: liam

nhxran‌:

Dick in a Box also speaks to me on an emotional level. Plus that one has a special place in my heart because it was one of the first ones I remember. I don’t think the world is ready for it. Which is exactly why we need to hit them with it. I mean, did anyone expect Akon to hop on a track with you? No. Did anyone ever expect a song about Michael Bolton? Hell no. That’s why you need me so we can climb to the top of the charts together. We’ll take down Ariana’s #1 spot. Thank U, Next who? It’s all about TLI/NH now. John Cena is the perfect option. Especially since no one can see him. It’s the surprise of a lifetime.

Dick in a Box is the most romantic song I’ve ever wrote or heard in my life. Sing that to anyone and they’ll instantly fall in love with you. We’re doing it, Niall. We’ll make this song and blow everyone’s minds. It’ll be number one all over the world for a whole year. It’ll be so good that they’ll make a movie about it. Just watch and if not, I’ll make the movie about it. We can play ourselves and we’ll get John Cena to star in it too because obviously he’s going to end up being our best friend after I hire him to scare people for me.

#c: niall

rosiepvrk‌:

Good, get those Z’s Andy! Make sure you get your body back in check that way this won’t happen again and you’ll be able to live life smoothly with plenty of sleep under your belt. You got it, my dude. If you die – tell people it was because of a cool shark accident and you went out fighting that way people will think you’re more of a badass than they already do. I do the same, only because I’m so forgetful sometimes and I don’t wanna forget the songs I write, I’d be devastated if I did. I know how that is – with a concert, though. I’ve never actually hosted an awards show like that and I don’t think I have the chops to do it either. What can I say? I have some pretty good ideas every now and then. Nobody ever listens to them but that’s their loss. You and me both, buddy. You and me both.

I slept and it was amazing until I woke up sick. This is what happens when I work too much and actually interact with other humans. You’re the best. My ghost will be watching just to make sure you’re not lying to me. Yeah! I’m the same. Sometimes a lyric will hit you and if you don’t write it down then you’ll regret it. I love hosting award shows but they can be really stressful. Someone asked me if I’d ever host the Oscars and nope. That’s way too much pressure and I’d probably offend everyone in that room somehow and become the most hated person on planet Earth. Nobody ever listens to my ideas either. Something about them being too stupid but whatever. I’m a genius, I know it.

#c: rosie

hf-jmorrison‌:

Yes please, I need to see both of you host everything from now on! Bless NBC, amen. That doesn’t surprise me, it has its fun moments but it sucks; no kinda about it. I’m all right, could be better but I’m working towards that.

I’ll make it happen. We’ll host every award show for the rest of our lives - everyone else should just give up trying. I think the Oscars need hosts but... nah. Maybe I’ll sit that one out. NBC is the best. They let us use bleeps and everything now. It’s beautiful. Aw, that’s good, though. I hope everything gets better for you soon.

#c: jennifer

jxhnkrasinski‌:

You know, if I’m being honest, ‘fuck trees, I climb buoys’ really hit home because I thought I was the only person who did that. I’m getting choked up just thinking about it all honestly. As you should be. You have no idea how excited I was to see the show get picked up so quickly by the right network. Listen, I’m down whenever. I know everyone else is. It’s about time we just give the people what they want and deserve. Ehhh, or not. Besides, that Pratt guy and I legally can’t be in the same room together. It’s a whole scandal.

I thought I was the only one! I’m so glad that deep meaningful lyric could bring us together like this. The power of music, man. If we ever get cancelled again, I’ll make my own streaming service and put it on there so we never end. It’ll go on for one hundred seasons. Exactly. We can’t let the people down any longer. It’s all they’ve ever been asking for and we’re good people that make dreams come true. Yeah, you’re right. We don’t want Aubrey around either. Those two are the worst. They’d steal our spotlight and we deserve it more.

#c: john

Text || Andy

Chyler: Good.

Chyler: Yes, I actually do. Care to grab a drink?

Andy: Hell yeah. Tell me a time and place and I'll be there.

#text: chyler

captainsamericaa

get to know me >> 2/10 male characters >> Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

“I don’t slump, people. I opposite of slump. I pmuls. That’s slump backwards and it’s what I do. I pmuls all over this bitch.”

#as.

armstrongbillie

So, what’s on everyone’s playlist these days? I’m trying to update mine and could use a few new jams. Please no thank u, next. I’ve worn it out all on my own.

ffssamberg-blog

Listen to The Lonely Island and nothing else. They’re the greatest band on the planet. True story.

#c: sam

Text || Andy

Chyler: You're a hilarious idiot though.

Chyler: Yes, something did happen

Andy: Hilarious idiot, I like it. I can work with that.

Andy: Need to talk about it?

#text: chyler

nickiimincj‌:

I wouldn’t recommend trying to write a whole album in one night unless you’re trying to make yourself even more delirious. Andy, my dude, what you need is sleep. Maybe they should have an award for hosting ‘cause that is a lot of pressure, especially those serious academy ones. I could never. I know I would fuck it up and make a fool of myself. Sorry but I don’t think that’s how it works. We can dream though.

Come on, Nicki. We both know I’m delirious and idiotic about eighty percent of the time. How do you think I come up with all the amazing songs I write? Only a fucked up brain could do that. You’ll be glad to know that I slept! I woke up extremely sick but that’s fine. I’m definitely not wishing I was stuck in bed all day eating soup or anything. Nah, you know what we need to do? Get them to let us host the Oscars. We’ll offend so many people and they’ll cut us off air. It’ll be awesome.

#c: nicki

itsnatdormer‌:

I will be there so long as I’m snuck into the show. Would this person be you? I hope it’s you because your band is cool and all, but your mates aren’t as cool as you. So I’ll be disappointed if you’re throwing me off on one of them. I bet all of 1D gets butthurt and that’s ok. You haven’t broken up yet, they have so you’re already better. This is being written down in my diary. Today on this 14th day of January, the most amazing thing in the world happened. I would die for you as well, Andy. I will make sure everyone knows of this truth. I’ll make sure all of those things happen, I am a beautiful writer, after all. You’re going to be so blown away by this speech. Babies will be named after it! Right, that’s so unheard of and NBC of all things to save it! Usually that’s a Netflix thing. I hope they’re taking note and side eyeing NBC forever.

You’ll be snuck in in the coolest way ever. Don’t ask me what it is yet because I don’t know but i’ll think of something. Aw, damn. I was going to pass you off to Akiva but I guess it’ll be me. As long as Niall doesn’t get butthurt but I don’t care if the others do. I haven’t talked to them yet so I wouldn’t feel bad for hurting their feelings. I feel like we really just bonded promising to die for each other. I don’t just make promises like that with anyone. Just you and Sandra. Probably my daughter too but that’s part of dad law anyway. This speech is the only thing I’m looking forward to for the rest of the year. I hope I cry so much I drown us both. I hope Fox and Netflix are both crying right now. Netflix turned us down even though our show is already on there but whatever. I’m definitely not bitter or anything.

#c: natalie

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