♡ yippee !!!

✨️ Fibb | 26 ✨️

[beardedmrbean]

[saints-row-2]

im only saying this once

the only acceptable jobs for spider-man

broke high schooler

broke college student

freelance photographer

high school teacher

unpaid intern

pizza delivery guy

research assistant for doomed scientific project

guy who stands on street and spins sign for quiznos

being spider-man

and thats IT i dont want any of this “hes a genius tech ceo making millions” SHIT. Spider-man is BROKE and he missed rent this month and he has a tiny apartment and thats how its MEANT TO BE. he doesnt make money because he is our Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man and not fucking Tony Stark.

how about dog walker while in spiderman costume

you. you get it

[thequantumqueer]

im imagining “being spider-man” as his full-time gig and i just

he has a patreon. the description is just the words “I’m Spider-Man” and all he ever posts is specifically-requested selfies from people who want to be sure its really him. pinned to the top of the page is a picture from the top of the empire state building (not the observation deck, the real top) of his spider-gloved hand holding a bagel that is on fire, with 34th street in the background

[willypadilly]

[7dmom]

Are you a person?

Im normal

[inthefallofasparrow]

Well, that answers that regarding the elf stones, I guess.

[wrigglewormz]

I'm perfectly fine with people criticizing my favorite stories and frequently do it myself but can you stop being so boring about it

[wrigglewormz]

"This scene made me so uncomfortable" given the subject matter, it would be really, really badly written if it wasn't.

[pierogiy]

every day i learn and grow, too

[nooboonation]

I love science <3

[tlirsgender]

When you get more objective about the way nature is & away from weird anthropomorphic carnivore slander it is a little funny when the baby sea turtles hatch and every other animal in like a ten mile radius goes "oh fuck yum one million mini sliders"

[tlirsgender]

[ID: a screenshot of the original post's tags that read, "#real turtleheads know this is a play on sliders (turtle emoji) which are a type of terrestrial turtle. but it's also tiny hamburgers #which seems apt. #this has been another episode of Joke Explainer" /end ID]

Keeping these actually. Necessary footnote for this post

[tlirsgender]

Watching a jaguar casually walk up to an adult sea turtle headed back to the water after laying her eggs and eat it like why am I in my sea turtle violence era and why are they like this. Adult sea turtles aren't especially easy to eat in the water they'll swim around with shark bites taken out of them like they're just chillin. And then on land they just kinda

[tlirsgender]

Jaguar watching a sea turtle on the beach: oh fuck yum 100 pound slider

[tlirsgender]

Also today I learned that since the jaguar scares off other smaller predators it's actually good for the sea turtle population if there are jaguars there. Cause less babies get eaten by Everything Else. I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[tlirsgender]

Every other animal in like a ten mile radius: I'm gonna be honest I didn't even consider that a jaguar could be on the beach

[pjackk]

High key the nut vids use to be crazier. Wjht happened?

[pjackk]

Nobodys busting hard no more

[dogpuppy]

He’s got a point here, you just don’t see it anymore.

[cottoncandylesbo]

can you not play with his nasty ass corpse please.

[torsnach]

Fool me once I kill myself on the spot

[girlballs]

Getting completely naked outside at 2am gives you a +12 to jerking off btw but only if you're a girl

[2komaprincess]

If your princess is stomping her foot and hmphing a lot this could be a sign she is understimulated and needs more attention

[2komaprincess]

touch her inappropriately

[lahiah]

beam me up scotty (beam me up inside) can’t beam up (beam me up inside)

[feminarchyboss]

we all got that 1 friend that brings a sadomasochistic vibe 2 the hangout

[duchessvongooseberg]

buckle my shoe 😊

[triangleguy]

my bad. turns off my perpetual motion dog catapulting machine

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[qochita-remade-deactivated20230]

When I was 11 I turned 13 cuz fuck 12