pairing: slytherin! na jaemin x gryffindor! fem. reader
genre: hogwarts au, fake dating, fluff, smut, angst
wc: 17k
summary: A Gryffindor prefect and a Slytherin golden boy fake a relationship to avoid an unwanted marriage pact, but as staged kisses turn real and secrets unravel, their hearts end up tangled in ways neither expected. Now, with love and pride on the line, they must decide if risking everything is worth the truth.
content warnings: explicit sexual content, loss of virginity, protected sex (contraceptive charms), oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, cursing, alcohol consumption, miscommunication, emotional hurt/comfort, anxiety, self-consciousness, emotional manipulation (though not malicious) lots of harry potter references (obvs), hogwarts setting, slytherin/gryffindor stereotypes and prejudice, pureblood politics, brief mention of emotionally distant/cold parents.
a/n: finally!! i’m so sorry this took forever, i really meant to post it the same day as part one, but i kept adding more (like… a lot more), so i really hope it was worth the wait. i had so much fun writing it though and i’m actually really proud of how it turned out. this fic fully consumed me for months lol😭 i hope you guys enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing it. please feel free to scream in the comments/inbox, i wanna hear all your thoughts <3
ps: if anyone cares for a bit of music while reading i made this playlist for the fic.
Read part 1 here
In the wake of that catastrophic lapse in judgment at the Three Broomsticks, you had spent the remainder of the weekend engaged in a heroic attempt at total social erasure. Under the flimsy pretext of Prefect patrols, you’d spent twenty four hours haunting the castle’s most desolate corners and developing an encyclopedic, almost intimate knowledge of the drafty corridors behind the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and the specific, rhythmic drip of the second-floor lavatory.
You lived in mortal fear of a confrontation, your brain a frantic pinball machine of panicked justifications. How does one even begin to explain away the fact that you’d essentially tackled Jaemin with your mouth in front of half the student body? You couldn't even blame the butterbeer; no one was that much of a lightweight.
All that strategic hiding, however, proved to be a spectacular waste of time.
Because Monday morning arrived and with it, the unavoidable horror of Double Potions. Jaemin, of course, decided to plop down next to you, looking both freshly pressed and utterly unbothered by recent events. All the while had to physically force yourself not to bolt in the opposite direction.
“Morning, Y/N,” he said pleasantly. “Fancy another go?”
You nearly slid off the stool. “I—beg your pardon?”
His mouth quirked as he leaned closer, lowering his voice until it was a secret shared only between your skin and his lips.
“Just a thought,” he drawled, “since the entire school has already watched us snog, we might as well get our money’s worth, don’t you think?”
You gaped at him, your indignation warring with a sudden spike of heat. Jaemin just watched you, a picture of insouciant grace, clearly having decided that his new favorite hobby was seeing exactly how many shades of scarlet he could make you turn before Slughorn even called the roll.
“I—well—” You faltered, the sentence dying pathetically in your throat. There was no good exit strategy here, no witty retort that could dismantle the sheer smugness radiating off him. “Wasn’t that a bit… much? In the Three Broomsticks?”
His gaze turned positively feral with glee. “I believe the many witnesses there that night will say that you started it. I was merely an innocent bystander, swept along by the current of your passionate improvisation.”
You pressed your lips together, an exercise in sheer willpower to deny him the satisfaction of a reaction.
“Swept along, my arse. You’re the one who—” You clamped down on the thought before it could manifest, but the phantom sensation of his fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of your neck flashed through your mind.
Jaemin tilted his head, a lock of blonde hair falling over his brow, as if to punctuate how useless your walls were against him now.
“Look, if we’re going to commit to this performance, we might as well aim for the stalls,” he said. “The school already has us pencilled in as the frontrunners for ‘Best Couple’. It would be a tragedy to disappoint the fans now, wouldn't it?”
He slipped his hand into yours, as if nothing at all had changed. But now you were horribly aware how your skin prickled with nerves and the pulse in your wrist kept skipping whenever he brushed his thumb along the side of your hand.
Slughorn, bless his velvet-clad heart, seemed absolutely determined to overwhelm the gloom of the dungeons with his boisterous goodwill. He was in rare form today, circling the room like a parade master, “Today, my dears, we will be brewing Amortentia! The mother of all love potions! Now, who can tell me its greatest danger?”
You raised your hand with perhaps more enthusiasm than Slughorn's question warranted, if only to reclaim it from Jaemin's grip.
“It can’t create real love, sir” you said, voice admirably steady. “Only a very strong infatuation. A kind of obsession, really. And it’s different for everyone who smells it, the scent changes to reflect whatever attracts you most.”
“Excellent! Excellent!” Slughorn beamed. “Ten points to Gryffindor! Now then, pair up, everyone, pair up! Today we brew!”
Naturally, this was when things went from bad to infinitely worse.
Brewing Amortentia while in the throes of whatever this mortifying situation with Jaemin was? Spectacularly poor timing. Working close enough to feel the warmth radiating off him, to have his fingers brush yours with every ingredient passed between you? Absolute torture of the most exquisite variety.
“Pass me the pearl dust, would you, love?” Jaemin murmured, his voice a low rumble that seemed to vibrate in the scant space between you.
You passed it quickly and focused back on the cauldron, determined to at least finish before him. You added the frozen ashwinder eggs, stirring counter-clockwise until the liquid began to shimmer.
“You’re quite good at this,” Jaemin noted. “Almost as good as you are at improvisation”.
“Focus on the potion, Jaemin,” you bit out, though you could feel your face go scarlet.
After almost two hours of gruelling labor, the potion was perfect. The steam rose in characteristic spirals, and the surface gleamed with a lustrous, opalescent sheen. You smiled at your technical triumph.
But the smile died on your lips the moment the scent hit your nose.
You'd hoped—prayed, really—for something ordinary. Like the comforting smell of old books, perhaps. Or the woody scent from the fire in the Gryffindor common room. But what you got instead was far more specific, and infinitely more damning.
Expensive cologne that smelled of bergamot and beneath that was the distinct, slightly oily musk of broomstick polish. The exact olfactory combination that seemed to have permanently infused itself into the fibers of Jaemin’s robes, the scent that enveloped you whenever he pulled you close in the corridors.
Godric save me, you thought, your stomach performing a sort of sickening swoop.
Your mind scrambled for a rational explanation. It’s just a common scent, it argued desperately. Half the Quidditch players use that polish. And any posh tosser could wear that cologne.
But the Amortentia didn’t lie. Your Herculean attempt at self-delusion was failing utterly in the face of the irrefutable truth spiralling out of your cauldron.
Fear metastasized across your body, becoming a cold weight anchored in the hollow of your sternum, pulsing in time with the frantic thrum of your heart. If you acknowledged the bergamot and the broomstick polish, you were surrendering the only fortress you had left. To speak it would be to dismantle the safety of the 'fake' and leave you standing raw and defenseless in the debris of your own design.
You were terrified that the moment the truth escaped your lips, the delicate, agonizing balance of your world would tilt, sliding you both into a reality from which there was no clever improvisation to save you.
“So?” Jaemin’s voice was suddenly right at your ear, making you flinch. “What are you getting, Y/N? Freshly bound books and new parchment, I’d wager.”
The proximity forced your lungs to pull in the real version of the bergamot you had just been mourning.
“Yeah, uhm…I smell old books,” you said, the lie ashen on your tongue.
Jaemin turned to look at you, and it was as though he were reading the very thoughts you were trying to bury. Beneath the table, out of sight of the professor and the prowling eyes of the room, his hand found yours again
“Is that so?” he murmured, his eyes visibly darkening as they swept over your face. “Well. I’m getting a very distinctive note of vanilla. And that floral soap you use in the Prefects’ bathroom.”
His words were so utterly devoid of the frantic panic currently hijacking your nervous system, that for a moment, you simply stared. Your brain suddenly tripped over his transparency. He’s joking, you realized, a hysterical sort of relief blooming in the wake of the shock. Of course he is. If he actually smelled that from the potion, he would be guarding that secret with his life, burying it under ten layers of Slytherin steel.
“Aha!” Slughorn crowed, making you both start. He peered into your cauldron, his face shining with delight. “A perfect brew! The spirals are unmistakable. Tell me, Mr. Na, is the aroma potent?”
Jaemin didn’t take his eyes off you. “Distractingly so, Professor,” he said, his lips curving into a smile that made your entire body go on high alert. “It’s enough to drive a man to madness.”
Slughorn clapped his hands together, mercifully oblivious to the silent conversation happening right under his nose. “Splendid! Simply splendid. Ten points to Slytherin and Gryffindor. Now, for your homework, I want a foot of parchment on the dangers of Amortentia and why its use is so strictly regulated. To be handed in next lesson!”
As the class descended into the frantic clatter of copper stirring rods and the rhythmic scrubbing of stone, you moved through the motions in a total sensory daze. What were you supposed to do with this knowledge? How were you meant to deal with the fact that the scent of your Amortentia, the very distillation of your most primal desires, was inextricably tied to Jaemin?
Right before you exited the room Jaemin’s fingers brushed against your own so briefly it should have been negligible, yet it sent a jolt of fire anchoring itself in the marrow of your bones. He leaned in, his shadow eclipsing you for a fleeting second.
“Think about what I said earlier, yeah?” He murmured, the words ghosting against your skin before he deposited a soft kiss on your temple.
You stood frozen as he merged into the tide of students. A sinking, leaden certainty settled in the pit of your stomach, making your breath hitch in your throat. You were well and truly doomed, there was no more room for clever denials. The Amortentia had stripped away the artifice, laying the raw, pulsing truth bare against the cold dungeon floor.
You liked Na Jaemin, and Merlin help you, there wasn't a potion in the world that could fix it.
Part of you was almost giddy about the novelty of actually fancying someone, of feeling your stomach swoop when they walked into a room. But mostly you were terrified. When had Jaemin stopped being an inconvenience and started being this?
Maybe, you reasoned, you could indulge it. Just a little. Lean into the dating act a bit more and let yourself feel it without examining it too closely.
That’s how the boundaries started dissolving.
Slowly at first, then all at once, every rule you’d established became negotiable. Jaemin would pull you into empty alcoves where no one could possibly see you, press you against cold stone and kiss you until you couldn’t breathe. “We’re not in public,” you’d manage between kisses. He’d just smirk against your mouth. “Practice makes perfect.”
No one batted an eyelid at the sight of him pulling you into empty rooms. Even Giselle had stopped questioning you, and became rather repulsed by your sudden displays of affection.
Meanwhile, you walked around feeling as if you’d lost the original plot of this whole thing. Your brain became a pinball machine: every glance from Jaemin sent the ball ricocheting wildly, every brush of his fingers over your knuckles set your whole body on high alert. He, on the other hand, seemed to delight in turning up at the least convenient moments—snagging you between classes, kissing you in the shadow of the greenhouses, catching your hand when you tried to slip past him on your way out of the library and kissing you against the stacks.
You coped by remembering it was all for show, the same way you might recite lines in a play. Only actors didn’t typically wake up thinking about the curve of their co-star’s mouth or lie awake at night replaying every touch of their calloused fingers.
You ran into him outside your common room one evening, just as curfew loomed. Jaemin looked up from a parchment he was pretending to read, tucking it away as you approached.
His eyes seemed to visibly darken at the sight of you. It would have been easy to walk past, make some excuse about homework or an early morning. Instead, you hovered, dithering between the impulse to run and the urge to close the gap.
Jaemin broke the stalemate, stepping forward and catching your wrist. “I was hoping I’d see you,” he said and then pointed at the portraits on the walls that watched you silently. “Thought we might keep the neighbors entertained.”
He didn't wait for an answer. He tugged on your wrist to guide you forward, and then his hand was sliding upward, fingers tangling deep into the hair at the base of your neck. He tilted his head, his gaze dropping to your lips for a fraction of a second before he leaned down to claim them.
His lips moved against yours with devastating confidence. As the kiss deepened, his other hand found the small of your back, pulling you flush against him until there was no space left between you. He made a low sound in the back of his throat, a private noise of satisfaction that seemed to echo against your own heartbeat.
High above, the painted figures in the frames whispered and tittered. The Fat Lady let out a bright, trilling giggle that rang through the hallway, but Jaemin didn't stop. He only pressed closer, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw as he turned the kiss slower, more rhythmic, and infinitely more distracting than any textbook could ever be.
When he finally broke away, he didn't pull back more than an inch. His breath hitched against your lips, and the dark intensity in his eyes seemed to catch fire.
He had just begun to trail his lips from your mouth to the sensitive line of your jaw when a shrill, cackling whistle echoed off the stone walls.
"Ooh, lookie here! Little lions in a knot! Or is it a tangle? A right royal muddle!"
Peeves the Poltergeist swooped down, hovering upside down just inches from your faces. His wide, malicious eyes darted between you and Jaemin, his tongue poking out through a jagged grin.
Jaemin didn't let go of you, but he let out a long, frustrated exhale against your skin. He slowly turned his head to glare at the spirit. "Not now, Peeves. Go find a first-year to pelt with ink pellets."
"Ink pellets? Boring! Stale!" Peeves blew a loud raspberry and started spinning in a dizzying circle. He reached into his pocket and produced a handful of stale, rock-hard Cauldron Cakes. "I’d much rather watch the lovebirds try to coo while I practice my aim!"
With a wicked flick of his wrist, he tossed a cake. It whistled past Jaemin’s ear, narrowly missing him and thudding loudly against the frame of a disgruntled landscape painting.
"Jammy and the Pouter, sitting in a hall! Kissing 'til the portraits scream and the ceiling falls!" Peeves sang at the top of his lungs, his voice shrill enough to wake every sleeping student in the nearby tower.
Jaemin finally pulled back fully, though he kept a protective arm slung low around your waist. He looked up at the cackling poltergeist, a dangerous, tired sort of smirk playing on his lips. "You’re going to get Filch up here, you menace."
"Filchy-poo? Even better!" Peeves shrieked, preparing another handful of projectiles. "Double the trouble, double the fun! Run, little students, run-run-run!"
Jaemin’s jaw tightened, and the last traces of the kiss's softness vanished into a look of sharp irritation. He reached into his robes and flicked his wand upward with a lethal grace.
"I warned you," Jaemin muttered dangerously. “Waddiwasi!"
The Cauldron Cake Peeves had been preparing to throw suddenly zoomed upward, propelled by an invisible force. It jammed itself straight into the poltergeist’s left nostril.
The poltergeist let out a high-pitched scream of outrage, spinning wildly in the air as he tried to claw the stale pastry out. Realizing he had lost this round, he zoomed through the nearest wall, leaving nothing behind but the faint sound of his frantic thumping as he retreated toward the floor below.
Jaemin let out a huff of a laugh, finally tucking his wand back into his sleeve. The intense look returned to his eyes as he turned his full attention back to you, his hands sliding back to their previous spots on your waist.
"Now," he whispered, pulling you back against the wall. "Where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"
You pressed a hand to his chest before he could close the distance. “Wait—did you hear that?”
“No.” The word was muffled against your neck, which he’d apparently decided required immediate attention.
“Jaemin, I’m serious. I think that’s Filch—”
He went still, listening. Sure enough, the shuffle of uneven footsteps echoed down the corridor.
“Your common room,” Jaemin said immediately, tugging you toward the Fat Lady’s portrait. “Come on—”
“Wait! She won’t let you in!”
He stopped short. “What? Why not?”
“Because you’re a Slytherin? We’ve been over this.”
“I thought you were drunk when you said that.” Jaemin stared at you incredulously. “So you’re telling me she won’t let any Slytherins in? And we’re the prejudiced house?”
“I mean she could, technically. But then she’d absolutely tell Filch about it.”
Jaemin made a sound of disbelief as Filch’s footsteps grew louder.
“Fine. Come on.” He grabbed your hand, pulling you in the opposite direction.
“Where are we going?” you hissed, jogging to keep up as he led you through several corridors and down the stairs.
“The dungeons.”
“What?! I am not going to your common room—”
“Oh, come on.” He threw you an exasperated look over his shoulder. “It’ll be fine. Slytherins actually mind their business when it comes to sneaking people in. Unlike you lions, apparently.”
The further you descended, the more aware you became of where this was heading. You’d never set foot in the Slytherin common room, and now you were sneaking in at night to… Well. The thought alone was enough to make your heart ricochet against your chest.
“Right, here we are.” Jaemin stopped before a blank wall.
“That’s it?” You stared at it with a raised brow. “Kind of underwhelming, isn’t it?”
“Sorry, did you expect a giant fanged mouth?”
“Alright, ease up on the attitude.” You glared at him.
He smiled, and spoke to the wall: “Serpensortem.” Then, catching your eye: “Feel free to use that. You know, if you ever need to find me.”
The hidden door (which did, in fact, have serpents carved into it) swung open to reveal a narrow corridor of stairs descending even deeper. How Slytherins didn’t lose their minds being this far underground, you had no idea.
Inside, the common room was both exactly what you’d pictured and nothing like it. Dark stone, high ceilings, and a green-filtered light casting everything in a sort of underwater glow. Because…Oh. The ceiling was glass. There were actual panels looking straight up into the Black Lake’s murky water and the shadows of the occasional creatures drifting by.
Stunning. Also deeply unsettling if you thought too hard about it.
“Nice view of the Giant Squid you’ve got.”
Jaemin was right, his housemates truly didn’t care. The handful of students still up barely registered your presence, offering cursory glances before returning to whatever they were working on. Apparently a Gryffindor in the Slytherin common room wasn’t that much of a strange sight.
“Want to go up to my dorm?”
You gave him a look. “Where all your dormmates are?”
“They’re at the Three Broomsticks getting properly pissed.” He shrugged. “We’ve got the place to ourselves.”
“It’s way past curfew. How’d they even get out?”
“There are secret passages that lead straight to the village. They’re all over the castle.”
“How am I only just learning this?”
His smile turned wicked. “Well, you’re such a good girl.” He pulled you closer by the waist. “A very good girl who owes me a kiss.”
You were completely out of your depth. Although the flirting had become familiar, the fact that Jaemin seemed to want you with the same desperate intensity you felt for him was uncharted territory that left you dizzy and unmoored.
So you didn’t fight when he led you upstairs. You let him pull you into a kiss on the steps, let yourself kiss him back with abandon until you stumbled into the warm sanctuary of his dorm. Only then did you surface long enough to catch your breath and actually take stock of your surroundings.
There were four four-poster beds with dark emerald hangings, the standard Hogwarts setup, but each corner had been claimed and personalized by its occupant.
You recognized Jaemin’s immediately. The one nearest the window, if you could call the glass panel looking into the lake a window. His Quidditch gear was piled carelessly beside his trunk: broom propped against the bedpost, leather gloves draped over the footboard, a jersey with “NA” embroidered on the back slung over his desk chair. The nightstand held an impressive collection of cologne bottles and a few books stacked messily beneath them.
But it was the wall above his bed that caught your attention. Photographs pinned in no particular order of what looked like his family, him and his Quidditch team, a few older shots of him with other friends you didn’t recognize.
“Snooping already?” Jaemin’s voice came from behind you.
You turned to find him leaning against the wall, watching you with a raised brow.
“Just… observing.”
“Mhm.” He pushed off the post and crossed to you in two strides. “And what have your observations concluded?”
“That you’re messier than I expected.” You gestured to the Quidditch gear. “But also weirdly sentimental.” You nodded toward the photographs.
You turned to the other sections of the room and caught on a collection of what appeared to be hand-drawn comics pinned above one bed, surprisingly good actually, depicting what looked like Quidditch matches gone horribly wrong.
“Are those—did someone draw these?”
“Renjun.” Jaemin followed your gaze. “He’s got a thing for documenting Donghyuck’s Quidditch failures. It's quite therapeutic for him, apparently.”
“Donghyuck and Renjun—wait, I thought you roomed with Changmin and Sungchan?”
“I used to. Merlin, don’t remind me.” Jaemin collapsed onto what was clearly his bed—the one nearest the lake-view panel.
“That bad?
“They both snore like bloody dragons. Together it was—” He shook his head. “I got about three hours of sleep a night for two years. Finally cracked in third year and begged the head boy to switch me.”
You laughed. “So who’d you end up with?”
“Jeno, Donghyuck, and Renjun.” He gestured vaguely around the room. “They’re a nightmare in different ways, but at least they sleep quietly.”
“Sounds like a ringing endorsement.”
He got up and started slowly towards you. “I didn’t bring you up here to psychoanalyze our dorm though.”
“No?” Your hands settled against his chest when he pulled you to him. “What am I up here for, then?”
His smile turned wicked. “I believe we established you owe me a kiss. Several, actually, if we’re keeping count.”
“Are we keeping count now?”
“I am.” He leaned in, mouth barely brushing yours. “And you’re severely in debt.”
You could’ve pointed out the flawed logic, could’ve reminded him that you’d just spent the last several minutes kissing him senseless on the stairs. Instead, you closed the distance between you, letting him walk you backward until your legs hit the edge of his bed.
“This okay?” he murmured against your lips, even as his hands slid up your sides.
Your heart was hammering so loud you were sure he could hear it. This was different from the corridors, from the alcoves and the performances. Just you and him and the choice to cross whatever line you’d been toeing for weeks.
“Yeah,” you breathed. “This is okay.”
His smile was soft before he kissed you again. You reciprocated with much enthusiasm making him sigh against your lips. His hands slid into your hair as the kiss deepened, and you let yourself get lost in it .
Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt, fumbling slightly, and he made a sound low in his throat that sent heat racing through you. His hand slipped beneath the hem of your sweater, palm warm against your ribs, and—
Suddenly you heard voices. Loud and slurred, echoing up from the common room.
“—telling you, Hyuck, you can’t just Accio the entire bottle—”
“It almost worked though… I’m just— hngh— a bit wet”
“What—…” You scrambled into a sitting position, trying to finger-comb your hair into something less incriminating. “How do I look?”
He looked at you and tried to hide a grin behind his hand. “Like I’ve been kissing you for the past ten minutes.”
“Jaemin!”
“Right, sorry—” He reached out, gently attempting to smooth down your hair. It was possibly the sweetest thing he’d ever done and absolutely not helping your emotional state. “Okay, just act natural?”
The door banged open and three boys tumbled through in various states of inebriation— a muscular lad with short black hair barely keeping another upright, while a third brought up the rear looking significantly more sober than his friends.
The first one stopped short when he spotted you. “Oh, shit.”
“Jeno, move, you’re blocking the—” The one being held up peered around his friend and broke into a massive grin. “Na Jaemin, you absolute legend.”
“Shut up, Donghyuck.” Jaemin stood, positioning himself slightly in front of you.
The sober one closed the door with considerably more care than it had been opened with. “We can go back down if—”
“No, it’s fine.” You stood as well, acutely aware of how warm your face felt. “I should probably get back to Gryffindor tower anyway.”
“Gryffindor!” Hyuck crowed, stumbling further into the room. “So you’re the Gryffindor. Jaemin’s been—ow! What the fuck, Jeno—”
Jeno had elbowed him, hard. “Subtle as a brick, mate.”
“I’m just saying, he’s been in a better mood lately and now I know why—”
“Hyuck, I will literally hex your bollocks off.” Jaemin’s tone was pleasant. His expression was not.
The sober one gave you an apologetic look. “Ignore them. They had approximately five Firewhiskeys each at the Three Broomsticks.”
“Five and a half,” Hyuck corrected proudly.
“Right. Well.” You smoothed down your skirt. “I should go.”
Jaemin caught your wrist. “I’ll walk you out.”
“I think your friends need more help than I do .”
“They’ll live.” His jaw was set and you could tell he was still annoyed about the interruption.
“Awww, he’s being chivalrous,” Hyuck stage-whispered to Jeno. “That’s so—ow, fuck, Renjun—”
Renjun had slapped the back of his head. “Please excuse Donghyuck. He becomes aggressively annoying when drunk.”
“Just when drunk?” Jeno muttered.
You bit back a smile despite yourself. “It’s fine. I can find my way out.”
“You sure?” Jaemin was still holding your wrist.
“I’m sure.” You gently extracted your hand, very aware of three pairs of eyes tracking the movement. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Tomorrow.”
You made it approximately two steps toward the door before Hyuck piped up again. “Hey, Gryffindor girl?”
You turned. “It’s—”
“Oh, we know who you are,” Jeno said, grinning.
“He’s absolutely miserable when you’re not around, you know,” Hyuck announced cheerfully, ignoring Jaemin’s death glare. “Like, genuinely unbearable. So thanks for that. You’re doing Merlin’s work, truly—”
“HYUCK—”
You escaped into the corridor before you could hear the rest, but their laughter—and Jaemin’s protests—followed you all the way down the stairs.
By the time you reached the common room, your face was burning and your heart was still racing and you had absolutely no idea how you were going to look at Jaemin tomorrow without remembering the weight of him above you, the heat of his hands, the way he’d looked at you like—
No. Not thinking about it.
Except you absolutely were going to spend the entire night thinking about it. You shook your head sharply as you climbed back through the castle, taking a different route to avoid Filch.
The interruption was probably for the best. It had stopped you from doing something you couldn’t take back, from crossing a line that would make the whole “fake dating” excuse completely untenable.
“Wow, he’s even convinced you to go to a Quidditch game?” Jo said as she observed you putting on the green scarf you’d borrowed from Jaemin. “And wearing his colors? Okay, who are you and what have you done to my best friend?”
You rolled your eyes. “It’s just one game. Plus, he’s been asking me to go for the past few weeks and I’ve already rejected him too many times. What kind of girlfriend doesn’t go support her boyfriend at a game?”
“A fake one?” She offered with a knowing look.
“I’m already committed to the bit, Jo. Cant back out now.”
“I just want to remind you that there are only 2 more weeks of this arrangement. Personally, I haven't even seen Yuna bother Jaemin in a good while, so there’s really no need to keep extending this thing.”
She was right. Yuna had been conspicuously absent lately. No more pointed stares across the Great Hall, no more appearances in places you and Jaemin frequented, no more saccharine interruptions during your library study sessions. You’d been so caught up in the elaborate fiction of your relationship that you’d stopped monitoring the very threat it was meant to neutralize.
Had she given up? Moved on to easier prey, perhaps? Or had the performance been so convincing that she’d accepted defeat?
And if the threat had dissolved, what justified the charade’s continuation?
More pressingly: did you want it to end?
The thought arrived unbidden, unwelcome, and stubbornly refused to leave. Two weeks. Fourteen days until you’d presumably sit down with Jaemin and declare mission accomplished, shake hands like business partners concluding a transaction, and return to being polite strangers who’d once played at intimacy for an audience.
“I’ll leave it to Jaemin to decide,” you said finally, the words emerging more brittle than intended. You avoided Jo’s reflection in the mirror, suddenly fascinated by the intricacies of your braid. “It’s his arrangement, technically. His problem we were solving.”
Liar, your reflection seemed to whisper. Coward.
Because the uncomfortable truth you’d been studiously ignoring was that you had no idea what Jaemin wanted anymore.
When he kissed you in empty corridors with no witnesses, was that practice? When his thumb traced absent patterns on your hip during meals, was he performing for distant onlookers or had it simply become habit? When he looked at you like that, was he acting or had the fiction begun consuming the actor?
You didn’t know. And you were terrified to ask.
Jo made a small noise of sympathy. “Just… be careful, alright? I know you think you’ve got this handled, but—”
“I’m fine,” you interrupted, perhaps too sharply. “Everything’s completely under control.”
The lie hung between you, obvious and ignored.
At the Quidditch pitch you headed to the Slytherin side of the stands. Thankfully, the finale was against Ravenclaw and not Gryffindor, otherwise you would feel like a horrible disloyal witch by not supporting your own house.
The place was already packed by the time you arrived. You’d expected to sit with the general crowd, but before you could even start climbing the stairs, you felt a hand on your arm.
“You’re with us,” Giselle said, appearing out of nowhere. She was dressed head to toe in green and silver, her house pride on full display. “Come on. We’ve saved you seats.”
“Saved me—what?”
Giselle led you to a prime spot right at the front of the Slytherin stands, where Changmin and Sungchan were already waiting.
“There she is!” Changmin grinned, as if this had all been planned.
“Jaemin’s good luck charm,” Sungchan added with a wink.
You blinked at them, too stunned to speak. These were the same boys who had barely tolerated your presence a month ago. Now they were scooting over, offering you the best view on the pitch, as if you belonged there.
“Jaemin said if we didn’t make sure you had the best seat, he’d hex us into next week,” Sungchan continued breezily. “And I quite like having my kneecaps intact, so.”
You sat down, feeling extremely self-conscious about being front and center in the Slytherin section wearing Slytherin colors. People were definitely staring. You could feel their eyes on you, could hear the whispers starting up.
"Wait," you started, your voice slightly breathless as you looked between their relaxed postures and the players currently mounting their brooms on the pitch. "Why aren't you two down there? Don't you both play?"
Changmin let out a dry snort, adjusting his sleeves. "Suspended," he said, "the Ravenclaw Beaters didn't appreciate my 'aggressive' tactical maneuvers during last week's scrimmage."
"And I'm on the bench today with a 'mysterious' wrist cramp," Sungchan added, though he looked entirely too healthy for an injury. He leaned in closer, dropping his voice to a murmur. "Truthfully? Jaemin didn't want us on the pitch. He wanted us here. Guarding you."
What?
"He’s a bit possessive over you," Giselle noted, settling in on your other side and smoothing her skirt. "He didn't trust the general Slytherin population to behave themselves while his head was in the clouds. Consider them your personal gargoyles for the afternoon."
Before you could process the idea of Jaemin hand-picking his friends to act as your shield, the teams flew onto the pitch, and the crowd erupted in cheers. You spotted him immediately. He was easy to pick out, even among the other players in their green and silver robes. He was a Chaser, and even from a distance, you could see the easy confidence in the way he handled his broom.
He did a lap of the pitch, clearly scanning the stands, and when he saw you sitting front and center in the Slytherin section wearing green his entire face lit up. He changed direction, flying closer to where you were sitting, and the crowd around you started screaming louder.
Jaemin pulled up right in front of the Slytherin section, hovering there on his broom, and blew you a kiss. An unsubtle, utterly ridiculous kiss blown in your direction in front of the entire school.
You felt your face go absolutely scarlet, but you couldn’t help smiling. He looked so happy. So genuinely, completely happy, and it was directed at you.
"Salazar's ghost," Giselle groaned, pointedly looking toward the sky. "The two of you are going to make me sick."
The whistle shrieked, a sharp, piercing herald that set the game in motion. You quickly discovered that Quidditch was an entirely different ordeal when your attention was tethered to a Chaser. It was no longer a sport but a grueling exercise in cardiovascular distress. Every time Jaemin’s fingers curled around the Quaffle, your breath hitched, trapped in the tight column of your throat. Every time a Ravenclaw Beater sent a Bludger whistling toward his skull, your stomach performed a sickening, leaden drop into your heels.
You were on your feet more often than not, screaming yourself hoarse, your dignity dissolving with every reckless maneuver he pulled. Your knuckles were white, clutching the edge of the railing as if you were the one hanging onto a broomstick three hundred feet in the air.
“Look at you,” Giselle observed during a brief lull in the carnage. “You truly have it bad, don’t you? You’re vibrating.”
“I’m simply—invested in the match,” you ground out, refusing to look away from the green-and-silver blur circling the hoops.
“You’re invested in him,” she corrected, a smirk playing on her lips that was equal parts amused and knowing. “It’s a bit pathetic, really. But I suppose he deserves someone who watches him with that level of frantic devotion.”
Whatever biting retort you were preparing to mount was violently incinerated by the roar of the crowd. A deafening, earth-shaking thunder erupted from the Slytherin stands as Jaemin executed a barrel roll that seemed aerodynamically impossible, slamming the Quaffle through the center hoop.
Slytherin dominated the match with embarrassing efficiency, their Chasers running rings around Ravenclaw’s defense, and Jaemin in particular seemed determined to make a personal statement. Then their Seeker caught the Snitch about an hour into the match, ending things decisively. The moment it was over, the Slytherin section erupted in celebration, and before you quite knew what was happening, people were pouring onto the pitch.
“Come on!” Giselle grabbed your hand, pulling you along with the crowd. “We’re going down!”
You let yourself be dragged down to the pitch, caught up in the excitement. The Slytherin team had barely landed when they were being mobbed by supporters, everyone screaming and hugging and celebrating.
You were just trying to stay upright and not get trampled, when suddenly hands grabbed your waist and you were being lifted, spun around, and then you were looking directly into Jaemin’s face.
He was sweaty, and disheveled, and grinning so wide it looked like it might hurt his cheeks.
“We won,” he said, as if you might not have noticed.
“I saw,” you said, laughing despite yourself. “You were brilliant.”
“You wore green,” he said breathlessly. “You actually wore green for me.”
“Of course I did. I’m your—”
You didn’t get to finish the sentence, because he kissed you.
He kissed you like you were the only two people there, like he’d been waiting all day to do this, like winning the match was secondary to getting to kiss you. His hands cupped your face, angling your head to deepen the kiss, and you forgot about everything except the feeling of his mouth on yours.
People were cheering. You could hear them, distant and muffled, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You just kissed him back, your hands fisting in his Quidditch robes to pull him impossibly closer.
When he finally pulled back, you were both breathing hard. “That—” Jaemin said, thumbing sweat and hair from your cheek, “was the best part of the whole day. Actually, my entire bloody year.”
He kissed you again, quick and fierce, before setting you down.
The chaos of the pitch threatened to sweep you up—Haechan was flying mockingly around the dazed Ravenclaw Keeper, who looked two seconds away from swearing off Quidditch forever. Jeno was being hoisted onto someone’s shoulders while holding the Cup, still in his gear, a lopsided grin plastered across his face as a small army of younger Slytherins began a chant.
You barely had time to process anything before a dozen Slytherin hands were clapping you on the back, dragging you into the noisy throng. Jeno slung an arm around your shoulder, while Haechan bowed with the sort of exaggerated flourish only he could get away with.
“Oi, Y/N! You’re practically the Slytherin mascot at this point,” Haechan crowed, earning a fresh round of chanting. Jeno nodded and said, “We’ll need you at every match. Jaemin plays like he’s got something to prove when you’re here.”
Jaemin slipped an arm over your shoulders, fitting himself between you and Jeno. It wasn’t the casual sort of touch affectionate boyfriend would do but rather the kind of grip that signaled territorial intent, both “look at me” and “hands off, Lee Jeno.” Jeno raised his brows, smirked, and stepped back with a dramatic sigh as if to say, “I know when I’ve been outmaneuvered.”
Jaemin lead you out of the crush, across the pitch, past the green-robed ruck of his teammates still shrieking and high-fiving each other senseless.
You found yourselves in the lee of the stands, momentarily invisible to the hooting masses. Jaemin bent over, hands braced on his knees, still catching his breath. The flushed tips of his ears glowed through sweated hair, and when he looked up at you, his eyes were shining, open, utterly unguarded.
“I’m sorry if that was too much,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. “We agreed—no more public spectacles.” He grinned, sheepish and shameless at once.
You laughed. “That was entirely your fault. You were the one who just put on a whole air show out there.”
“Had to impress you,” he said, then he straightened, hands on your hips. “Did it work?”
The question was clearly rhetorical, but Jaemin’s voice always lilted up at the end, as if the answer mattered even if he already knew it. Your heart did the embarrassing somersault you’d tried to train it out of, and you could only nod, which made him gloat without mercy.
“Good,” he said, and tugged you in for another kiss, backgrounded by the muffled roar of the stadium and the granular crunch of pebbles underfoot.
Suddenly a broomstick whirred to a stop nearby and Jaemin loosened his grip on you, letting you sway back ever so slightly. You barely had time to school your features before Madam Hooch’s voice rang out.
“Na, what in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing back here?” She hovered just above, her yellow hawk’s eyes narrowing as she took in the flush on your cheeks and the state of your hair. “This isn’t the broom shed, though you two seem determined to treat it as one. Save the snogging for after hours—if you must.”
A mortifying heat swept up your neck. Jaemin simply grinned at her. “Just appreciating my good luck charm, Professor.”
Madam Hooch sniffed, unimpressed. “If you’re quite finished, the rest of the team would like their Chaser back for the cup photo.”
She fixed you both with one last look that could have stripped paint from the stadium, then gestured briskly for Jaemin to join the others.
He shot you a look over his shoulder, and winked “I’ll meet you in a bit for the celebration”
As the door to the Slytherin common room opened, you were met with an emerald-hued wonderland teeming with giddy, flushed-faced revelers. It was like being inside a shaken bottle of champagne, the air practically fizzing with elation and an infectious sort of glee.
Despite wearing green, you felt distinctly out of place. Like a single rose petal that had somehow fluttered its way into a bouquet of silver-tipped ferns. But Jaemin’s hand was warm and sure in yours.
“Stick close,” he murmured. “Wouldn’t want you to get lost in this snake pit.”
“And here I thought you’d be eager to feed me to your housemates. Y’know, as a victory sacrifice.”
Jaemin’s laugh was a rich, dark thing, like molten chocolate. “Tempting. But I think I’ll keep you to myself a bit longer.”
The wicked glint of his gaze as he said those words made heat rush to your cheeks. But before you could think much of it, you were swept up in a whirlwind of backslaps and high fives, the team descending upon their star Chaser in a giddy mass of sweat-damp robes and Firewhisky-fueled cheer.
You found yourself passed from embrace to embrace, your hair mussed and your face peppered with exuberant kisses. It was overwhelming, dizzying, this sudden immersion into the tight-knit camaraderie of Jaemin’s world.
But through it all, his gaze never left you. Even as he was jostled and jolted by his teammates, his eyes remained locked on yours, a searing, steady connection that made your pulse stutter and your knees go curiously weak.
As the night wore on and the festivities showed no sign of waning, you found yourself gravitating closer and closer to Jaemin, drawn by some irresistible magnetism. The heat of so many bodies packed into the subterranean space, the buzz of one too many Butterbeers, the maddening drag of his fingers along the small of your back as he steered you through the crowd…it was all blurring together into a delicious haze.
And then you looked up at him in a sudden moment of perfect clarity amidst the chaos, and everything else simply…fell away. The noise, the crush of bodies, the very air seemed to shimmer and warp, narrowing down to the electric pulse of connection stretching taut between you.
In that suspended sliver of time, you knew with bone-deep certainty that there was no going back. No more pretending, no more lines in the sand. There was only this, only him, only the truth of what had been building between you from the moment this mad charade began.
You crashed together like colliding stars, mouths and hands and hearts falling into desperate alignment. Jaemin kissed like a man possessed, like he wanted to crawl inside your skin and make a home there, and you matched him beat for beat, pouring months of pent-up longing and frustration and fierce, helpless wanting into the slant of your lips against his.
When you finally surfaced, gasping and glassy-eyed, Jaemin’s face swam into focus, his usually sharp features softened by a look of tenderness.
“Come with me,” he said, his voice a rasping, wrecked thing.
You could only nod, mute and dizzy with want, and let him lead you out of the common room and into the labyrinthine tangle of the dungeon corridors. You walked in silence, the only sound the ragged counterpoint of your breathing and the distant, muffled thump of music.
When he stopped at a stretch of unremarkable wall and began to pace, you knew with a jolt where he was taking you to The Room of Requirement.
Where else would one go to tumble headlong into inadvisable, paradigm-shifting passion?
Jaemin reached for the handle, but then he turned to you with a question in his eyes and an uncharacteristic hesitance in the set of his shoulders…you knew that stepping over this threshold would change everything.
“Y/N,” he said, and there was a whole universe of unspoken things layered into the shape of your name. “Are you sure…?”
“Jaemin,” you said. “Kiss me.”
In the next instant, his lips were on yours again, and you stumbled backward as the hidden door swung open. You didn’t spare a glance for the room that bloomed before you. Couldn’t focus on anything beyond the heat of Jaemin’s body against yours, the desperate, reverent drag of his hands over your curves. The room could’ve been an empty Quidditch pitch, for all you cared.
Every romance you’d ever read and even scoffed at came to life in that moment—the world receding, time slowing to a molasses crawl. There was only sensation, only feeling, only the drugging slide of his lips along your jaw, your throat, the dip of your collarbone.
Your pulse was fucking riotous. You’d talked yourself into this, hadn’t you? Marched up here on legs so wobbly you could’ve blamed the many stairs, convinced yourself you could handle it because it was Jaemin.
His calloused hands roamed with urgent purpose, fingers digging into your hips as he backed you against the nearest wall. He broke the kiss only to yank your shirt over your head, tossing it aside without a second thought. You immediately turned to flame when his gaze tracked all over you. From your swollen lips, to your flushed cheeks, down to the way your chest stuttered with every shaky breath. His hands found your jaw. Steady, so steady.
“We can stop whenever you want to.” he murmured against your ear.
You managed a nod because your speech simply wasn’t coming. Every nerve was pulled taut with both anticipation and terror at the realization of what you were about to do for the first time in your life.
His fingers unclasped your bra carefully, and when the straps slid down your arms, you tried to fold into yourself, awkward and too aware of skin and imperfections. Jaemin’s eyes caught yours; they were dark but promising patience even as he bent to take your nipple in his mouth.
You arched into him, a gasp escaping as his teeth grazed your nipple. “Jaemin,” you breathed, threading your fingers through his hair to hold him there.
He growled low in his throat, the sound vibrating against your skin. His hand cupped your other breast, thumb rolling the nipple between his fingers, pinching just hard enough to send sparks of pleasure-pain shooting straight to your core. You’d never been touched like this before. There’d been secret snogs, awkward fumbles in broom closets that had never gone further than shirt buttons, never left you feeling more than flustered and underwhelmed. This was different.
Your body reacted in ways you hadn’t expected, hips twitching, thighs pressing together, the ache between your legs suddenly urgent and embarrassingly obvious. You could feel yourself clenching around nothing desperately. The sensation was almost alien, and you had to fight the impulse to cover yourself, to pull his hand away and to say wait, let me catch up.
Thoughts scattered in all directions. Was it supposed to feel this good? Did he know how much you were trembling? Could he tell this was your first time? Did he care? Did it matter? You worried you might be doing it wrong by making too much noise, arching too eagerly into his hands, looking foolish and overeager. But his gaze fixed on you, pupils blown, jaw tight with want.
He suddenly straightened, fingers smoothing back the hair from your face. “Hey,” His voice was softer than you’d ever heard it. “Still with me?”
You nodded, a little wild-eyed. “I—yeah. Sorry. I just—” You swallowed, eyes locking on the bland pattern of the carpet. “I haven’t…”
When you looked back up, his eyes flashed with a kind of darker satisfaction. “I know,” he murmured. “I thought so.” His hands slid down your waist. “We’ll go as slow as you need.”
You responded by tugging at his shirt, nails scraping against the hem until he chuckled low in his throat and let you have your way. He pulled back just long enough to strip it off, revealing the lean, muscled planes of his chest and abs. His sun-tanned skin bore the faint ghosts of bruises from Quidditch, a testament to the fact that he played rough today.
You stared shamelessly, hands twitching at your sides, before you finally gave in and mapped every line with your fingertips. The kiss that came next was messier, his tongue thrusting into your mouth in a rhythm that promised what was to come.
Jaemin's fingers worked at the button of your trousers, and you remembered with mortification that your knickers did not match your bra. Cool air hit your bare skin, but his body heat chased it away as he pressed closer, his clothed erection grinding against your thigh. You could feel how hard he was, the thick length straining against his trousers.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he murmured against your lips, voice rough with desire. “I've wanted this for so long.” His hand slid between your legs, fingers parting your folds to find you already slick. He groaned at the discovery, circling your clit with his thumb while a finger pushed inside you, drawing out tiny sparks of pleasure. Hehen he slipped two fingers inside, your hips jerked in startled delight. He moved slow at first, letting you get used to the stretch, his other hand splayed over your hip, grounding you, steadying you.
You moaned, hips bucking into his hand as he pumped his fingers in and out, stretching you, preparing you. The wet sounds of your arousal filled the room, mingling with your ragged breaths. He added a third finger, scissoring them to open you wider, his thumb pressing firmer on your clit until you were trembling, on the edge.
“Merlin, remind me to–… to read a book on this before next time,” you blurted breathlessly.
Jaemin stilled, and for a second, you wondered if you’d killed the mood entirely. But then his mouth curved into a wolfish grin, and he pressed a slow kiss to your cheek, trailing down the line of your jaw.
“Oh, I think you’re doing just fine,” he murmured, voice gone gravelly. “But if you want me to demonstrate…”
He kissed a path down your throat, across your collarbones, pausing to worship each new inch of skin revealed. It seemed like there was no part of you he didn’t want to learn. When his lips brushed the top of your breast, you gasped, the joke you’d been about to make dying on your tongue.
“Jaemin—what are you—?”
“Trust me,”
You whimpered in protest, but he silenced you with a kiss, guiding you toward the bed. He stripped off his own pants and boxers, his cock springing free, long and thick, the tip glistening with pre-cum. Your eyes locked on it, pulse racing at the sight.
He pushed you down onto the soft sheets, following you immediately until his body was covering yours. His mouth trailed lower, kissing a path down your stomach to the apex of your thighs. He spread your legs wide, settling between them, and looked up at you with eyes dark with hunger. “I need to taste you.”
“Wait—” you started, nerves rearing again.
He glanced up. “I promise you’ll like this.”
Then his tongue flicked out, lapping at your core in one long stroke, and the sound you made barely qualified as human. He sucked your clit into his mouth, alternating with broad licks along your slit, his fingers returning to thrust inside you. The combination of his relentless tongue and his fingers fucking you deep and steady was overwhelming.
“Okay, wow, that’s—oh—bloody hell—”
Right. So. That was new.
In fairness, you thought you were reasonably experienced. You had been alone with yourself often enough. You knew what you liked, had your own routines abd methods. A careful system involving muffled pillows, and a great deal of optimistic trial and error.
This was definitely not that.
This was like discovering you’d been trying to play a symphony on a recorder and Jaemin had just sat down at a grand piano and casually dismantled your entire understanding of music.
Your hips rolled against his face instinctively, chasing the building pleasure. He held you down with one arm across your waist, not letting you escape the onslaught. You gasped, the coil in your belly tightening unbearably.
“Jaemin,” you gasped. “Please—”
You weren’t entirely sure what you were asking for.
For him to stop. For him to continue. For him to explain how this was happening. For him to never leave this exact position.
Suddenly he added another finger, and wow…. that was certainly not how it felt when you did it. It probably had to do with the fact that his fingers were way longer and he seemed to know what to do with them.
He hummed against you, the vibration along with his tongue and fingers enough to push you over. Your orgasm crashed through you and you clenched around his fingers as waves of pleasure ripped you apart. He didn't stop, licking you through it until you were shaking.
Only then did he rise, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and a dumb smirk on his lips. “How was that?”
He looked far too smug for your liking, and you—who had spent years pretending to be unflappable—actually giggled. Like a third year after her first Butterbeer.
“It was—” Your cheeks burned. “Brilliant.”
His smile widened. “Alright. Just one more thing before we…” He trailed his wand through a complicated motion. The tip shimmered blue, a faint ring of light settling across your pelvis.
He caught your eye. “Contraceptive charm. Unless you’d rather I hexed my own bollocks off instead, but I hear Madam Pomfrey’s got enough on her hands.”
Another nervous laugh broke from your lips, but Jaemin just pressed a reassuring hand to your thigh and leaned in.
“Tell me to stop if you want to. I mean it.”
You shook your head, want eclipsing every doubt you had. “I want to,” you said, the words tumbling out so fast they nearly tripped over themselves. “I want you.”
Jaemin lined himself up and watched your face as he eased forward slowly. The stretch stung at first—your body fighting to accommodate the unfamiliar width. It hurt more than you’d expected.
Your walls stretched, burning, fluttering around him, the ache gradually giving way to a dizzying pressure as he bottomed out. He stayed perfectly still, forehead resting against yours, both of you shuddering through the intensity of it.
“Alright?” Jaemin asked thickly, as if it cost him everything not to move. A low groan escaped him as your inner muscles clenched involuntarily around his cock, the sensation clearly testing his control.
“Yeah, it’s just… a lot,” you admitted, your breath hitching.
He let out a soft, breathy laugh, his hips twitching slightly despite his efforts to stay still. “Yeah, I know. I’m quite big.” The joke pulled a surprised giggle from you, the tension in your chest easing just a fraction. His eyes crinkled with warmth at the sight.
“You feel so fucking good,” he murmured, a whimper threading through his words, his fingers digging into the sheets beside your head. “It—it’s taking everything not to just pound into you right now.”
He was flushed, hair damp with sweat, the strands sticking adorably to his brow and temples. His cheeks were tinged rose-pink, his jaw clenched tight as if the effort of holding himself back was an actual battle. His lips, swollen from kissing you, parted as he panted, every exhale ghosting warm across your face. A single bead of sweat trickled from his hairline, skimming down to the curve of his cheekbone. You couldn’t help but reach up, tracing it with a shaky finger. He caught your hand, pressing his lips to your palm, and the gentleness of it nearly undid you.
You’d never seen him look more beautiful. All that cockiness and swagger stripped away. This was just Jaemin, undone, desperate, trying to be gentle for your sake and barely managing.
A sudden warmth loosened in your chest, chasing away the last of your tension. You wanted this. The pain ebbed slowly, replaced by a deeper need. You shifted beneath him, hips rolling tentatively, and found the sting softened, yielding to a heady pleasure that made your toes curl.
“Merlin,” Jaemin groaned in response.
You squeezed your eyes shut for a moment, focusing on the sensations: the fullness, the way your inner muscles clenched involuntarily around him, sending little sparks across your body. Your hands roamed his back, feeling the tense muscles under your fingertips, and you whispered, “Please Jaem, move.”
Jaemin pulled back slightly, just an inch or two, and pushed in again slowly. A deep groan rumbled from his chest at the drag, his eyes fluttering shut for a second. “Shit… so good,” he panted.
The motion made you gasp, the initial burn fading into a deliciously pleasant heat. He repeated it, shallow at first, giving your body time to adapt. Each gentle thrust coaxed a soft whimper from your throat, your nerves firing in ways you’d never even imagined. It wasn’t seamless or effortless like in the stories you’d read; there were awkward pauses, a slight shift when he slipped a bit, both of you chuckling breathlessly to ease the tension.
Then he started moving faster, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in. Each stroke hit a perfect angle, his hips grinding against your clit with every push. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, nails digging into his shoulders as he fucked you harder.
The bed creaked under the force of his thrusts, skin slapping against skin. Jaemin's hand found yours, lacing your fingers together as he drove into you, his eyes never leaving yours. There was tenderness in the way he held you, even as his pace turned brutal, chasing release.
“You’re doing so well, princess,” he murmured, brushing your temple.
A jolt of pleasure shot through you as the head of his cock nudged a deeper spot. “There… right there,” you breathed, your voice shaky but sure.
Jaemin pinned your hand above your head gently. His eyes bored into yours. “I’ve dreamed about this so many times,” he confessed between thrusts, voice punctuated by a whimper as your walls gripped him.
“Me too,” you breathed.
He released your hand to slip between your bodies, fingers finding your clit with unerring accuracy. He circled it slowly at first, matching the tempo of his hips, then faster as your moans grew louder. “Come on, let go for me… you’re so close, I can feel it,” he urged, his own groans growing more frequent.
The added friction served its intended purpose. Your orgasm built fast, coiling tight before exploding, your walls fluttering around his cock, milking him.
He followed you over the edge with a broken cry muffled against your neck, burying himself deep as he came. He collapsed onto you afterward, both of you panting, hearts pounding in that particular post-coital unison that poets find romantic and medical professionals find concerning. He stayed inside you as he softened, pressing kisses to your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth.
You lay tangled in Jaemin's arms, limbs pleasantly loose from exertion and spine somewhat less pleasantly compressed by the world's most questionable mattress.
The Room of Requirement, in its infinite wisdom, had conjured a heap of velvet blankets to cover yourself with. You suspected Hogwarts's taste in romantic furnishings had been shaped by decades of adolescent fantasy and the castle's own flair for the dramatic. Regardless, your back ached, your hair was a catastrophe, and you found that you didn't mind at all.
Jaemin, for his part, seemed content to lounge beside you like a Renaissance painting of decadent youth, one hand idly tracing the curve of your hip beneath the sheet. It was all terribly calm—if you ignored the thunderous panic building in your own chest.
You propped yourself up on one elbow and regarded him in the low light. In repose, the sharp edges of him softened into the boy you now knew existed underneath all those sneers. You'd always been rather undone by his eyes, if you were being honest, but now, seeing them half-lidded and so unguarded, the usual sardonic glitter banked to embers, you felt something dangerous clawing its way up your throat.
Don't, warned the sensible part of your brain. Don't you dare.
"I love you," you said.
The words escaped before you had a chance to wrap them in plausible deniability or cushion them with caveats.
Jaemin went very still.
For one absurd, hopeful moment, you thought perhaps he simply needed a second to process. That was reasonable, wasn't it? People usually needed time to absorb emotional declarations. Any moment now, he'd turn to you with that devastating smile and say—
He rolled away. Sat up. And began an unhurried search for his shirt, which had vanished somewhere beneath the bed during earlier, more optimistic proceedings.
Ah.
Ah.
"Jaemin?" you ventured. Your voice sounded strange to your own ears.
He didn't turn around. His shoulders, you noticed, had gone rather tense. "It's getting late. We should probably head back to our dormitories."
Your heart, so stupidly full just moments ago, plummeted somewhere in the vicinity of your stomach. "What?"
"It's late," he repeated, to the floor, or perhaps to the shirt he'd finally located. "We have classes tomorrow. We should get some sleep."
You felt as though someone had upended a bucket of ice water directly over your head. You sat up, pulling the sheet around yourself with hands that had begun, rather inconveniently, to tremble. You'd been pleasantly naked in front of him not five minutes ago, and now you couldn't bear the exposure.
"Jaemin." You hated how small your voice had become. "Did you hear what I said?"
He finally looked at you. His expression had shuttered completely, all the warmth and softness of moments ago locked away behind those dark eyes.
"I heard you."
"And?"
He exhaled. "This... what we just did... it doesn't change anything." A pause. "We had an arrangement. A deal. It was never supposed to be more than that."
The silence that followed was the loudest thing you'd ever heard.
You stared at him, vision blurring treacherously, and thought: of course. Of course he didn't love you back. How could he? You were merely a solution to a problem. The fact that you'd been foolish enough to fall for your own charade—well. That was your fault entirely, wasn't it? No one to blame but yourself and your own ridiculous heart.
"Right," you heard yourself say. "Of course. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—that was too—I'm sorry."
"Y/N..." He reached for you, and you flinched away so sharply you nearly toppled off the bed.
"No, it's fine." Your voice had gone brittle, the way it did when you were trying very hard not to cry. "You're absolutely right. We should go."
You stood on shaky legs and began gathering your scattered clothes with trembling hands. Your jumper had ended up draped over a candelabra, and you couldn't find your left sock, but you decided that you didn't care. You needed to leave. You needed to be anywhere but this room that had witnessed your greatest vulnerability and your most thorough humiliation.
Jaemin dressed in silence. His movements were impersonal, as if the tender lover of minutes ago was replaced entirely by a distant stranger pulling on his trousers like this was simply another Sunday. Perhaps, for him, it was.
When you were both clothed, he cleared his throat.
"I'll walk you back to—"
"I know the way," you interrupted, shoving your single sock gracelessly into your back pocket.
His jaw worked, as though he were chewing over some final, unsatisfying thought. You found you didn't want to hear it.
"Goodnight," you said finally.
You turned on your heel, crossed to the door, and walked out of the Room of Requirement with your chin held high and your heart in approximately seventeen thousand pieces, wishing desperately for a Time-Turner and the sense to use it.
You walked back to Gryffindor Tower in a daze, barely registering your surroundings. Your mind was reeling, trying to process the abrupt shift from blissful intimacy to cold rejection. You stumbled through the portrait hole, ignoring the Fat Lady's concerned look. Thankfully, the common room was empty at this hour. You stood there for a long moment, staring into the dying flames, feeling the weight of your own foolishness pressing down on you.
You'd let yourself imagine it, hadn't you? A future where this thing between you and Jaemin was something real. Something that would survive the end of your little arrangement, that would unfold into late-night conversations and stolen kisses in corridors and his hand finding yours under the table at breakfast. You'd let yourself believe it so thoroughly that you'd forgotten it was never real to begin with.
A beautiful lie. A fairy tale you'd spun for yourself, heedless of the inevitable unhappy ending that had been written into the story from the very first page.
And now you were alone in an empty common room at half past midnight, with nothing but the cold truth and the aching, echoing space in your chest where your heart used to be.
"Y/N? Is that you?"
You turned to see Jo descending from the dormitories. She was in her pajamas, hair piled in a messy bun, face still creased with sleep. But the moment she saw you properly, whatever drowsy inquiry she'd been planning died on her lips.
Her eyes went wide. Understanding flooded her features, followed swiftly by something fierce and protective.
"Oh, love," she breathed, and crossed the room in three quick strides to pull you into her arms. "Oh, no. What happened? What did he do?"
And that was all it took. The dam broke, and suddenly you were sobbing into her shoulder, great heaving gasps that shook your whole body. She held you tightly, stroking your hair, murmuring soothing nonsense as you cried.
"I t-told him I l-loved him," you managed between sobs. "And he... he just..."
"Shh, I've got you. Breathe."
"He said it didn’t change anything." You choked on the words. "That it was never supposed to be more than that. And I just—I stood there like an idiot—"
"You're not an idiot." Her arms tightened around you. "You're not. He's the idiot. He's a complete and utter prat, and I'm going to hex his bollocks off, see if I don't—"
A small, inquisitive mrrp interrupted the proceedings.
You both looked down. Whiskers had appeared from somewhere behind the sofa. He blinked up at you with large, knowing eyes, then began weaving between your ankles with pointed determination.
"Oh, Whiskers," Jo murmured. "Good boy. You tell her."
The cat, apparently agreeing that emotional support was required, rose up on his hind legs to bump his head against your knee. When that failed to produce adequate acknowledgment, he meowed again and began climbing your leg in pursuit of a better vantage point.
You laughed, it came out watery and hiccupping and rather awful, but it was a laugh nonetheless.
"See? He thinks Jaemin's a prat, too." Jo said solemnly, scooping Whiskers up and depositing him into the narrow space between you both. The cat immediately began purring and butted his head against your chin.
You wiped your eyes with the back of your hand, still trembling. "I feel so stupid, Jo. I knew this was how it would end. I knew from the beginning it wasn't real, and I just—I let myself—"
"Hey." Jo pulled back to look at you properly. "Falling in love isn't stupid. It's brave. Even when it's messy and terrifying and the other person is a monumental coward who doesn't deserve you."
"He's not…"
"He is." Her voice brooked no argument. "Anyone who looks at you the way he does and then pretends it's nothing? That's cowardice. That's someone too scared to admit what they feel, so they make you feel like you’re imagining it instead."
You opened your mouth to protest, because surely it wasn't like that, surely you'd simply misread everything, surely the fault was yours for wanting too much, but Jo cut you off.
"No. Don't do that. Don't even try to make excuses for him." She softened, just slightly. "I know you love him. And I know that doesn't just... switch off. But you deserve someone brave enough to love you back out loud, yeah?"
A fresh wave of tears came, because she was right. You did deserve that. And you’d thought, for a few perfect hours, that maybe you’d had it.
“I really thought he—” You couldn’t finish.
“I know.” Her voice was gentle. “I know you did. And maybe he does, somewhere under all that stupid hair. But maybe isn’t good enough.”
You pressed your face into Whiskers’s fur, trying to breathe through the ache in your chest.
"Right," she continued. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to sit here, and you're going to let Whiskers work his magic, and you're going to cry as much as you need to. And tomorrow, we're going to eat an absolutely obscene amount of chocolate at breakfast, and you're going to ignore Na Jaemin so thoroughly he'll wonder if he's gone invisible. And if he tries to talk to you, I'll hex him. I’ve gotten really good at Bat-Bogeys."
"Jo, you will get detention."
"I don't care," she wasn't smiling anymore. "No one gets to make you feel like this and walk away unscathed. Not while I'm around."
You leaned into her, letting your head drop against her shoulder. Whiskers purred on.
"I really love him," you whispered. "Even after tonight. How pathetic is that?"
"It's not pathetic at all." Jo's voice caressed your heard, all the protective fury banked into comfort. "Love just doesn't care about timing, or logic, or whether the other person deserves it. It just is." A pause. "And for what it's worth? I don't think he's as unaffected as he's pretending to be. I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one's watching."
You didn't answer. You weren't sure you believed her at all, to be honest. But you let her hold you, let Whiskers purr and let the fire burn down to ash while the ache in your chest slowly, slowly dulled to something almost bearable.
Jaemin had never felt more like a prat in his entire life.
No—that wasn't quite accurate. Prat implied mild social incompetence. A tendency to say the wrong thing at dinner parties, forgetting birthdays, laughing at funerals. The sort of harmless foolishness that people forgave with a fond eye-roll and a muttered oh, that's just Jaemin.
What he had done went rather spectacularly beyond that.
He had taken something fragile and rare, something most people spent their entire lives hoping to stumble across, and placed it directly under his own boot. Deliberately. With malice aforethought, or at least malice afore-panic, which hardly seemed better.
He had watched you gather every ounce of courage you possessed. Had felt you trembling against him, breath shallow, voice catching on the edges of words you clearly hadn't planned to say. You had offered him something honest and unguarded and terrifying in its vulnerability, and he had responded by retreating behind technicalities and arrangements like a child hiding behind a curtain and insisting, with full conviction, that he was invisible.
We had a deal.
Merlin. He wanted to reach back in time and throttle himself.
It was never supposed to be more than that.
What a thing to say. What an absolute masterwork of emotional cowardice, delivered with the sort of cool detachment that would've made his father proud. He could practically hear the old man now: Well done, son. Keep them at arm's length. Never let them see you bleed.
Coward.
That was the word. The only word that fit.
A coward with decent grades and a Quidditch record impressive enough to distract people from the fact that, emotionally, he possessed all the sophistication of a flobberworm. Less, actually. Flobberworms at least had the excuse of being invertebrates.
He replayed it in his head for the forty-seventh time that hour, the way your voice had softened when you said it. I love you. Three words, plain and graceles, tumbling out like they'd escaped against your will. Your fingers curling against the sheets and the tiny pause afterward—that breath of suspended time where you had waited for him to meet you there.
And he hadn't.
He had stood on the very edge of everything he'd wanted for six years—six years, which was roughly forty percent of his entire existence and one hundred percent of his adolescence—and he had convinced himself that stepping forward was more dangerous than falling back.
He had finally kissed the girl who'd haunted his thoughts since he was eleven years old and too stupid to understand why her insults made his chest feel strange. He had finally heard you say you loved him to his face, with your whole heart in your voice.
And instead of recognizing it for the bloody miracle it was, he had panicked.
As though being loved were a trap. As though affection were some elaborate con, and you were merely waiting for the right moment to spring it.
As though you, of all people—brilliant, stubborn, infuriatingly principled you—were something he needed protecting from rather than running toward.
He laughed under his breath. The sound came out thin and joyless, startling in the empty corridor.
Afraid of being loved.
Such a stupid thing to be afraid of. It ranked right up there with afraid of winning the Quidditch Cup or afraid of someone handing you precisely what you've desperately wanted and asking nothing in return.
He had spent years wanting your attention.
Years engineering excuses to speak to you, picking fights in the corridors because negative attention was still attention, stealing your quills, hexing your textbooks, memorizing your class schedule so he could accidentally-on-purpose cross your path between classes.
He had told himself this behavior came from an innocent rivalry or perhaps even house pride, just the natural antagonism between Slytherin ambition and Gryffindor recklessness.
He had watched you from across the Great Hall, the way you laughed with Jo, the way you chewed your quill when you were thinking, the way the light caught your hair in the morning, and convinced himself it was harmless curiosity. Academic interest. The detached observation of a worthy opponent.
What a spectacular amount of bollocks he had fed himself.
He had wanted you persistently. Recklessly, in a way that would've horrified his younger self, who had been very committed to the aesthetic of cool indifference.
And when he finally had you, when you were warm and real and trusting in his arms, when you'd given yourself to him completely and then offered your heart on top of it like some undeserved gift—
He had recoiled.
Because being loved meant being seen.
It meant showing up. Being present. Letting someone witness all the parts of himself he usually kept buried under six layers of charm and sarcasm and ambition. It meant responsibility. Knowing that someone else's happiness was now tangled up in his own choices, his own failures, his own capacity to be something more than the sum of his defense mechanisms.
He had spent years telling himself he was being sensible.
Protecting people, he'd called it. Keeping them safe. As though his emotional unavailability were some sort of public service, a kindness he performed by keeping parts of himself locked away where they couldn't do damage.
He lived by three rules: feelings were liabilities, distance was safety, and caring too much was the fastest way to hand someone a weapon and hope they didn't use it.
It had been easy to believe that, growing up in a house where affection came with conditions and approval came with expectations. Where love had always been something that could be revoked at any moment—a privilege, not a given. A reward for good behavior, withdrawn the instant you failed to meet the mark.
So he'd learned early how to ration himself. How to care quietly, in ways that couldn't be measured or weaponised. How to want without asking. How to feel without admitting it, even to himself.
And it had worked. For years, it had worked.
He had been fine. Perfectly content in his carefully constructed fortress of emotional self-sufficiency.
Until you.
You, who had looked at his defenses not as walls to be respected but to be climbed. Who had called him out on his nonsense and refused to be impressed by his posturing and seen through him with a clarity that terrified him.
You had dismantled his entire system without even trying.
And now you were crying in the Gryffindor common room, probably being comforted by Jo who rightfully thought he was the worst sort of person, while he stood alone in a dark corridor with nothing but the wreckage of his own making for company.
He pressed his palm flat to his chest, as if he might physically restrain the ache there.
It didn't work. The ache remained, steady and insistent, a bruise that seemed to pulse in time with his heartbeat. He had been given exactly what he wanted and he had thrown it away because he didn't believe he was allowed to keep it.
Because somewhere deep in the foundations of himself, in all the places his parents' voices still echoed, he had decided that love was not something people like him got to have. Not permanently. That wanting something too much was the surest way to lose it, and the safest course was to let go before it could be taken.
He had pre-empted his own heartbreak.
And in doing so, he had guaranteed it.
The realization settled over him slowly, and Na Jaemin—Slytherin Prefect, Quidditch star, heir to a name that opened doors across the wizarding world—had never felt more utterly, unforgivably small.
He thought of you, somewhere in Gryffindor Tower, believing you had been foolish to love him.
And he thought: No.
The only fool here is me.
Jaemin spent the next few days turning it over. You saying those three words and him saying it didn’t change anything. What a lie. It changed everything and he could feel every new fault line spider out beneath his feet, threatening to split him open.
At first, he tried to convince himself he needed this: to have the edge. He thought of the next two weeks as a sprint, a countdown to the end of the deal, a chance to reset before anyone saw how scrambled he’d become. But the more he tried to hold that line, the more he found himself drifting. A wordless longing in his veins, a kind of hunger not easily starved out.
He looked like hell at breakfast. Sungchan greeted him with a commence-the-mocking whistle and immediately began recounting every detail of the party—especially the part where Jaemin had “dragged his girlfriend off like the end of a Victorian bodice-ripper and nobody saw either of them again until morning.”
Jaemin grunted in response. He’d hoped that the Slytherin table’s perpetual ruckus would drown out his mood, but word had apparently traveled at broomstick speed that he and his Gryffindor paramour had disappeared into the night and returned separately.
“Did you see Y/N?” Giselle asked, low-voiced as she slid onto the bench next to him. “She didn’t come down yet. Jo said something about a headache, but you know what that usually means.”
Jaemin played dumb. It was one of his most reliable talents. “Hangover?”
Giselle’s lips thinned into an unimpressed line. “Try again.”
He almost managed a laugh. “What, mid-semester flu, then?”
Changmin leaned across the table to whack him on the forearm. “Knock it off. You know what she means.”
For a second, Jaemin's lip curled with the beginning of a sneer. Then he caught the genuine concern in Changmin's eyes, and something in his chest constricted painfully. He knew he was being intolerable, but couldn't seem to stop himself. Besides, when had his friends developed this sudden interest in your wellbeing? Just weeks ago, they'd barely concealed their disdain whenever your name came up.
He shrugged. “Didn’t realize you lot were so invested in her.”
Sungchan, mouth full of toast, said, “Are you thick? She’s basically our in-law now.”
Giselle, who had never in her life let a moment of vulnerability pass unremarked, pinned him with a look sharp enough to cut. “Stop pretending you don’t care,” she said quietly. “It’s pathetic.”
Jaemin tried to brush it off, but her words dug in. The table fell into a brief, uncharacteristic silence, broken only by the scrape of utensils and the dull roar of the rest of the Hall. His eyes betrayed him, sweeping across the Great Hall in search of your face. It was four minutes to the start of first period when you appeared, rumpled as a stray leaflet, hair yanked into a bun with a quill, the red in your eyes unsoftened by any attempt to conceal it. You didn’t look in his direction. Not even once.
Jo steered you to a seat as far from the Slytherin table as possible, and for the first time in living memory, you didn’t have a book open with breakfast. You just sat there, picking at a single triangle of toast, the very opposite of the person he’d chased across the halls for half a decade.
He watched you, hating himself for it but unable to stop. Any moment now, you’d look up with a tiny smile and mouth, “What are you looking at?” and the axis of his world would correct itself by one degree. Instead, you slipped out before the first bell.
At least he was reliably consistent. Second period hadn't even started and Jaemin had orchestrated a trinity of fleeting, meticulously planned collisions. He'd spent the first break loitering by the Charms corridor, just to see your profile as you debated something with Jo. You never saw him. Or if you did, you made a point of acting as if he were invisible—a feat that, for someone as volatile as you, must have taken immense restraint. Still, his pulse hammered at the mere proximity, the knowledge that you occupied the same ten-meter radius.
Then, after Defense, he'd shadowed your route to the library, walking the long way around just so he could pass you by the statue of Dymphna the Dazed. He’d spent so many hours studying your gait, the bounce in your step, the way you always fiddled with your wand as you walked that he could predict, to the second, when you'd arrive at the oak doors. The actual moment was almost an anticlimax, though: You breezed right past, not even a flicker of recognition in your gaze.
By the time he wandered into the stacks, he’d convinced himself that running into you was serendipity and not the carefully plotted vector of a moth to its own funeral pyre. He saw you perched at the edge of a reading table, surrounded by towers of books and an aura of such prickly concentration that even Madam Pince hovered before daring to approach. He pretended like he needed something from the Potions section, just adjacent to your fortress of solitude, but when you looked up and caught him standing there, he nearly dropped his armful of textbooks.
But you simply returned to your reading, jaw tight, quill moving in furious dashes. The rejection was as comprehensive as any hex, and it landed him two rows over, staring blankly at a shelf of moldy periodicals and trying to pretend his hands weren't shaking.
This was how the day went: Jaemin planning collisions, you dodging each one with exactness. He wondered if you knew you could destroy him just by looking his way.
You didn’t bite either way. You only spoke once to him, and it was to offer one brittle “Excuse me” as you slid past. He caught a whiff of your hair then and realized he’d missed that scent. It filled his head, left him dizzy. He didn’t turn around as you disappeared down the aisle. He only stood there, polysyllabic apologies crowding the back of his tongue—and not a single one fit to say aloud.
You knew the aftermath would be the hardest part, but nothing could’ve prepared you for the days that followed. They stretched out, elastic and punitive, filled with silences so loud you imagined they could split the castle at its seams.
In a fit of what you would later call “productive despair,” you doubled down on your schoolwork. Every study hour became a refuge, your textbooks a bulwark against thinking. Whiskers responded to your newly-acquired hermitage by laying siege to your lap at all hours, claws lightly sheathed, tail flicking in his sleep like he was chasing the very feelings you’d tried to outrun.
You became an expert at avoiding Jaemin. You timed your arrivals to classes, hung back until the corridors thinned, and made peace with the fact that every now and then, you’d have to let a Slytherin Prefect dock you house points for lateness. Sometimes it was even Jaemin himself; he’d hand you the slip with his eyes fixed somewhere behind your left ear.
Even the Slytherin first years who’d once delighted in blocking your path seemed to shrink away from the tableau, as if the story of your heartbreak had filtered down through the stone like cold water, softening even the nastiest traditions.
Jo, goddess among friends, never pressed. She introduced you to a new array of comfort snacks and developed a proprietary cocoa recipe that she claimed could “reanimate a troll.” She helped you with Charms and let you rant about nothing in particular. When you occasionally faltered—when your hand shook during practicals or you lost your place reading out loud in History of Magic—she’d bump your knee under the desk and say, “We’re almost there, kitten. Keep your chin up.”
You kept your chin up. It hurt but you did it, because Jo was watching, and because Whiskers was watching, and because you refused to let him have any more of your dignity than you’d already handed over.
Four days before the end of the arrangement, your N.E.W.Ts loomed like a darkening storm. You’d just finished revising for Arithmancy when Jo spoke, “We’re doing a girls’ night tonight. No arguments.” She produced two vials of Smuggler’s Pumpkin Spice Spirit (questionable provenance) and a deck of Exploding Snap. “And we’re inviting Yuna.”
You nearly choked. “Yuna?”
Jo nodded seriously. “I saw her crying in the North Tower last Tuesday. She needs it. We need it. Besides, she’s been relentlessly normal lately.”
The idea felt so surreal that you couldn’t bring yourself to object. At exactly ten, Yuna appeared outside your dormitory, balancing a tray of suspiciously glittery shot glasses. She wore pajamas patterned with tiny cats and a hesitant smile, both of which seemed calculated to defuse ancient hostilities.
The three of you sprawled on the floor of the dormitory. You, cross-legged and trying not to look like your entire emotional landscape was scorched earth; Jo, already red-cheeked and deploying her patented “I’m-not-drunk-you’re-drunk” strategy; and Yuna, who poured drinks for everyone.
The first round was vile. The second was marginally less vile, or perhaps your tongue had simply given up. After a few more, your nerves had been numbed enough that you no longer cared if anyone brought up the name “Jaemin”. Or maybe you wanted them to.
Eventually, Jo passed out. She did so with Whiskers pillowed on her belly and her arms flung overhead.Yuna watched her for a long, pensive moment. Then she poured each of you one last shot and raised hers in a slightly wobbly toast. “To stupid boys,” she said. “And to the girls surviving them.”
You clinked glasses. The spirit went down like molten pudding and settled somewhere near your spleen.
A companionable silence fell, the pleasant, boozy sort that felt safe enough to say things you would otherwise never let see daylight.
Yuna was the first to break it.
“He’s terrible at hiding it, you know,” she said. “Jaemin.”
You blinked. “What?”
“What he wants,” Yuna clarified. “It’s…not subtle.” She swirled her shot glass, watching the dregs coat the glassy bottom. “I think he makes things hard for himself, but harder for the people he cares about.” She flicked her gaze up. “And you must know. You’re the only one he’s ever actually cared about.”
You tried to laugh, but it came out flat. “I think you’re mixing up ‘care’ with ‘use as a convenient shield for his own problems.’”
Yuna’s expression shifted to puzzled. “Convenient shield?”
You blinked at her, a little dizzy, a little stunned that Yuna, one of Slytherin’s most preternaturally well-informed gossip, didn’t already know every miserable detail. “You—oh, come on. The arrangement.” You mimed air quotes with your fingers, nearly upending your glass in the process. “We only did this to get you off his bloody back.”
Yuna opened her mouth to say something,but then just burst out laughing. Not even a sly titter but a full-throated snort that startled Whiskers off Jo’s belly and into an escape beneath the bed.
“Oh—oh, Merlin’s balls—” Yuna gasped, clutching her ribs. “You—wait, you actually believed—oh, this is precious.”
You felt yourself flush with irritation. “What’s so funny? That you lost your shot at Jaemin?”
“No, you adorable idiot, not that.” Yuna shook her head, wiping away a tear of mirth. “Are you serious? I’ve only ever talked to Jaemin because he’s Changmin’s best friend, and Changmin—well…”
She trailed off, her cheeks going very pink, then, as if you weren’t present at all, she laid her head back against the bottom bunk and stared at the ceiling, a contented smile on her lips.
You waited for more context, a swirl of confusion tangling up your tongue. There was a thud as Whiskers landed on the foot of the bed, followed by the faintest prickle of claws as he padded up beside you.
Finally, the implication of her words hit your tipsy brain. “Wait. You’re not—I mean. You weren’t even—?”
“Into Jaemin?” Yuna finished for you. “Merlin, no. Not since third year at least—and even then, only in the way you want a new pair of boots.” She shrugged, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger. “He’s nice to look at, but a nightmare to date. Total self-saboteur.” She glanced at you, curious. “You really thought I was after him?”
You felt lightheaded. “I mean you were everywhere—”
“I was following Changmin, you dolt.” Yuna’s face went even pinker if possible. “I set this whole thing up to make him jealous. I mean, it worked, he finally asked me to Hogsmeade, but—” she broke off, suddenly shy. “Sorry for the collateral damage. Truly.”
You stared at her, the pieces of the last months threatening to explode through the air. All that plotting, the drama, every humiliating emotional contortion you’d endured, and all this time…
Jaemin hadn’t been fighting off Yuna. He’d just, what?
Did he just want an excuse to be near you, because he was pathologically incapable of admitting how much he needed it, even to himself? Every ounce of dignity you'd sacrificed, every moment of your life spent embroiled in this nonsense, and the object of his supposed self-sacrifice had been pining for Changmin the entire time.
You took a long, bracing inhale, thumping your head once hard against the edge of the bed frame.
“Unbelievable,” you muttered.
Yuna, to her credit, had the decency not to gloat. She nudged Whiskers toward you. “He’s always liked you, you know,” she said. “Even before. He used to ask me how to get you to stop hating him, like I had some kind of… girl code manual.”
You eyed her. “Did you?”
Yuna nodded, propping her chin on her knees. “I told him to try being honest for once. Clearly, he didn’t listen.”
You rolled your eyes. “That’s the understatement of the century.”
“You know, out of everyone, I think you’re the only person who makes him utterly lose his composure. He’s usually… impossible to fluster. Kind of his thing. But around you it’s like—you light a match and throw it into his brain.”
“Well, I certainly managed to set something on fire,” you said, and surprised yourself with a half-laugh. “Just not in any useful way.”
Yuna scooted a little closer, lowering her voice. “I know you probably don’t want my advice, but… maybe give him a chance to fix it. He’s genuinely bad at this stuff.” She shrugged. “You don’t have to forgive him, but if you’re waiting for him to say the right thing, you might be waiting forever.”
Her words slotted into place in your exhausted brain, like the last piece of a hopelessly complicated puzzle. Horrible, giddy amusement bubbled up your chest: all this time, you’d been fighting the wrong war, arming yourself against an enemy who’d never even taken the field.
You left Jo and Yuna asleep in each other's arms, Whiskers curled into a protective gray-striped crescent at the foot of the bed. Every portrait squinted with suspicious half-lidded eyes, and every suit of armor clattered medieval disapproval as you ran past them.
You didn't think much about where you were going, but the probability was as precise as Divination could ever muster: the Slytherin common room. Because if there was a single neuron left swimming in your firewhisky-addled brain, it was firing like a desperate flare directly toward Na Jaemin.
You padded soundlessly through the dungeons, fingertips trailing along the cool stone walls for balance, only to round a corner and nearly collide with a tall silhouette legging it up from the other direction. Jaemin, hair disheveled like he'd been running his hands through it for hours, shirt untucked with three buttons misaligned, and eyes wild as a cornered hippogriff, skidded to a halt so abrupt you both nearly toppled over.
You just stood there, staring, every cell in your body screaming and also quite possibly vibrating. Through the haze of fatigue and shame and liquor, you registered every heartbreakingly specific detail of him: the spike in his breathing, the way he braced one hand against the wall as if he needed it to hold up the rest of him, the deep crease between his eyebrows that only appeared when he was actively terrified.
The words queued up, fighting to be first out. “I—” “Listen—” “Can we—” “Please—”
A jumble, then an accidental harmony: “I need to talk to you.”
For one second, you considered turning around and running. But the way Jaemin looked at you pinned you to the spot.
He spoke first. “Come to the broom closet? I think I saw Mrs Norris nearby, which means… ”
“Filch,” you finished for him. “Okay, let’s go.”
You followed him in silence, down the corridor to the oversized closet that Slytherins had used for centuries to hide everything from illicit liquor to first-year snoggers. He held the door open, then closed it behind you, which left you not even three feet apart.
Jaemin propped his back against the door and exhaled so slowly it sounded like the last breath of a dying man. You tried not to notice that his hands were shaking. Or that he looked, for all his composure, completely lost. “I, um.” He looked down at his own shoes. “Y/N, I fucked up.”
You blinked. You’d come here to yell, maybe. Or at least to interrogate some truths out of him, like why he had so thoroughly detonated your entire sense of self. But he’d opened with the guilt and you weren’t ready for it. Unpracticed, unbuffered by the ice of pride or wit. It landed inside you with an unexpected warmth that left you unable to launch the first missile of your prepared invective.
He tried again. “I said things I didn’t mean. Or… didn’t say things I was supposed to.” He scrubbed a hand down his face, and for the first time in your long and bitter acquaintance, he looked his age. Not the chiseled, archvillain Slytherin but a seventeen-year-old boy who’d just spent the last week eating his own heart.
You pressed your back to the shelving, feeling a bristle of ancient brooms poking into your shoulder. It was easier to focus on the physical discomfort than the absolute riot of feelings inside you. “Why did you do it, then?” you asked, voice trembling but louder than you felt. “Why pretend? Why go through all of it if you didn’t—”
He looked up then, and the world stopped. You'd always known Jaemin had pretty eyes, almost stupidly so, but you'd never seen them this stripped of showmanship. There was nothing left in them but the need to be understood.
He ran both hands through his hair, almost laughing at himself. “Growing up, love was like a… currency. My parents, they’d dole it out in rations, make you earn it, then yank it away when you needed it most. Every hug, every ‘I’m proud of you’—it was an investment, and nothing was free. I don’t want to do that.”
He broke off, looking at you as if every word took a year off his life. “But then you—fuck, Y/N, you just loved me. Out loud. Not because you had to, or because I earned it, but because you wanted to. And I didn’t know what to do with that, so I panicked and did what I always do, which is ruin things before they can ruin me.”
You might have laughed, if it hadn’t stung so much. “You could’ve just said it back, you know. Or at least not torched me on the way out.”
“I know,” he whispered. “I wanted to. I do. I just—” He exhaled again and met your gaze. “I actually love you so much, and it scares me so bad I’d rather light the whole thing on fire than tell you to your face.I thought if you ever knew, if you ever saw how fucking much it was, you’d run for the hills. I was scared.” He huffed a laugh. “I’m still scared.”
You stared at him, the old defenses rising out of habit—sarcasm, skepticism, the impulse to twist anything freely given—but something in his voice made them shrivel away. He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t even posturing. He was sweating through his shirt in a freezing stone corridor, admitting in the most un-Slytherin way possible that he wanted something enough to break himself for it.
He took a faltering step toward you. “I love you. I love you so much it makes my head hurt, and every time you look at me, I feel like I’m being given something I’m not allowed to keep. You’re so smart, brilliant really, you make everything feel less small and stupid, and I like how you argue even when you know you’re wrong, and sometimes I go out of my way just to hear you laugh at me, because when you do it I feel like maybe I’m not a total waste of oxygen—”
He broke off, eyes wild and shining. “You make me better, from the inside out. And I was so terrified that if you ever saw the real me—if I let you in even a little—I’d ruin it. Or you’d hate me.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “But I ruined it anyway,didn’t I?”
You listened in shock, because this was the Jaemin you’d believed existed only at the very edges of his brittle, cocky mask. The one who’d made a study of you, who’d learned all your favorite spells and matched your every move. You weren’t sure you knew how to reply. The gravity of his confession pressed you to the wall.
"I'm not going to say it was fine," you whispered, voice cracking. "It felt like you'd reached inside my chest and—" You pressed a trembling hand to your sternum. "God, Jaemin. I couldn't breathe for days. But even then, I never—" Your voice broke completely. "I never really hated you. Not even when I probably should've."
He breathed out. “You’ve no idea how much I wanted you to hate me properly. Would’ve made everything simpler.”
“Why spend all that time and effort in this charade? You could've just been honest... You had no idea how I would take it.”
He squeezed the bridge of his nose as if the pain of the question might physically rupture his skull. “Because I didn’t know how else to have you, and I thought the only way you’d let me close was if it was an act.”
You wanted to spit something cruel, but it collapsed against the lump in your throat. “You incredible, galloping idiot,” you said instead, mostly to yourself.
You were about to speak again when he slipped a hand inside the folds of his robes. A familiar spine emerged, its dark leather cover worn soft across the creased corners, the gold lettering faintly dulled by time.
Wuthering Heights.
It was the very copy you’d pressed into his hand weeks ago, at Tomes and Scrolls, half in jest. You’d expected him to snort and set it aside unread, or skim a few florid passages, shrug, and call it melodramatic nonsense. But now its pages were dog-eared, edges curling; a thin gold ribbon marked a specific chapter. The paper around it was so softened that you could almost see the imprint of fingertips pressed into the margins—tiny scrawled notes in cramped handwriting, evidence of long, late-night wrestling matches with Emily Brontë’s tempestuous souls.
Jaemin’s fingers trembled as he thumbed to the ribboned page. He cleared his throat, that quiet catch sounding louder in the hush around you, and lifted his gaze. The brown of his eyes locked onto yours so fiercely your ribs felt oddly vulnerable, as if he were staring right through your chest. Then, he began:
“Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad. Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you.”
Your pulse thundered in your ears. You stared at the book, at the margin notes, at the little crease in the paper where he’d returned again and again.
“You read it,” you whispered shakily. “You actually read it.”
He tucked a stray lock of dark hair behind his ear and offered you a shy, sheepish smile. “I got about three pages in and thought, ‘This is the most overwrought melodramatic nonsense I have ever encountered and she’ll never let me live it down if I admit I liked it.’”
Your breath caught, and you laughed softly. “So the Slytherin prince secretly studies Muggle love tragedies for—what? Sport?”
“For you.” His words fell simple and straight, but you saw in the tense set of his shoulders how much it cost him. “I remembered what you once said. That words could be more powerful than any spell. That some stories could make you feel things magic never touches.” He swallowed, eyes flicking away for only an instant. “I wanted to understand. I wanted to see the world the way you do. Even if… even if you never spoke to me again, I needed something of how you think.”
Your throat tightened around all the things you wanted to say.
“I love you,” he said suddenly. “I know I don’t deserve another chance. I know I hurt you, and I’m sorrier than I’ve ever been. If you want me to leave you alone, I will. I’ll resign as a Prefect, stop dining in the Great Hall… never speak to you again, if that’s how it has to be—”
“Jaemin—”
“And if you think I’m not worth the effort, if you find some sensible bloke that's smarter and more emotional available instead of—” He gestured at himself “—a stupid prick with a habitual avoidance of feelings, that’s fine too, I unders—”
“Jaemin.”
He stumbled to silence, eyes wide, braced for your anger or dismissal. Instead, you stepped forward. “I think,” you said softly, “I’d rather take my chances with a Slytherin who panics at his own heart.”
His whole face broke into a tentative, trembling smile that brightened by the second, like dawn’s first light spilling over the lake.
“You don’t hate me, then?”
“Oh, I do,” you teased, closing the distance between you. “Just not enough to stop wanting to kiss you.”
He laughed a breathless, disbelieving sound that left him momentarily speechless. “That’s… a very low bar.”
“It’s the bar you set,” you said, reaching up to smooth the crease by his temple. “I’m just acknowledging it.”
He was so close now you could see the faint shadows under his eyes, the restless hours he’d spent reading. His breath hitched, and his fingers, still warm around your forearm, shook.
“One condition.”
“Anything.”
“No more schemes. No more elaborate lies to keep me close. If you want something from me, you ask. And if you ever feel like sabotaging yourself again, you write it in a journal like every other teenager, and you keep me out of it.”
His eyes shone with relief and determination. “Deal. I swear it. Honest to Merlin, I’ll be so transparent you’ll beg me to tell a little white lie.”
“Unlikely.” You tousled his hair affectionately.
“I’ll be boring and straightforward and—”
“Now you’re just making things up.”
“—and I’ll read every book you recommend, even the ones you hate, so at least we can hate them together. I’ll tell you if I’m scared instead of running away, and I’ll—”
“Jaemin.”
He stopped and blinked up at you, a hopeful question in his gaze.
“Shut up and come here.”
He closed the last few inches between you, cupping your face as if it were made of spun glass. His thumbs traced the damp paths of your tears, his eyes pleading.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the soft curve of your lips. “For all of it—for the lies, the running, the… spectacular emotional incompetence. I’m so sorry.”
You rested your hands against his chest, feeling the rapid thump of his heart. “I know.”
He drew a shaky breath. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me.”
You pressed your forehead to his “I will.”
"Yeah?"
"Don't let it go to your head."
"Already there."
And then, finally, his mouth found yours.
The kiss was unhurried. A little clumsy. Both of you slightly out of practice with each other, slightly hesitant, slightly afraid this might still evaporate if you moved too fast.
But it was real.
You could taste the years of wanting and the weeks of pretending and the days of heartbreak. The sharp edge of pain, slowly dulling. The first green shoots of something that might, given enough time and care, grow into something lasting.
You smiled against his lips. Let your fingers curl into the collar of his robes. Kissed him back with every ounce of mortifying hope you'd sworn you'd bury.
There was nothing staged here. Only the press of his mouth saying yes and sorry and I love you and please, over and over, until the words became simpler.
Stay, his kiss said. Stay, and I'll spend the rest of my life proving I deserve it.
When you eventually separated, both breathing heavily, your foreheads touched.
"Let's see how long it takes you to mess this up," you murmured.
He laughed, eyes bright with joy. "Reckon I've got until dinner at best."
"Don't push your luck."
You kissed him once more, simply because it was possible. Because you wanted to. Because for five endless days you'd believed this door closed forever, and now finding it open seemed too precious to ignore.
Gossip would explode anew, inevitably. By evening meal, whispers would spread about you two emerging from an empty classroom, looking thoroughly kissed. By morning, a dozen conflicting stories would circulate. Within a week, the castle's most creative rumormongers would have you practically married.
But in this moment—his hand entwined with yours, his smile against your temple, your future sketched in pencil rather than vanishing ink—the entire castle seemed beautifully uncomplicated.
For a pair of hopeless liars, it made for a surprisingly honest beginning.
pairing: slytherin! na jaemin x gryffindor! fem. reader
genre: hogwarts au, fake dating (hell yeah!), fluff, smut, angst
wc: 34k (full fic)
summary: It's a simple deal: fake date the Slytherin golden boy to dodge his arranged marriage. Easy. Except patrols turn into makeouts, a Quidditch win ends in a very steamy contract violation, and suddenly your N.E.W.T.s feel like the least of your problems. After one badly timed confession, it’s clear he’s not acting anymore—and neither are you.
content warnings: slow burn, explicit sexual content (2nd part), miscommunication!!!, emotional hurt/comfort, cursing, alcohol consumption, reader is self conscious/bit anxious, heavy hogwarts canon themes obvs, slytherin/gryffindor dynamics, jaemin is lowkgenuinely manipulative at the beginning, mean slytherin stereotypes, avoidance as a coping mechanism. lmk if i missed anything!
a/n: ok this is gonna be a long a/n so bear with me. this fic genuinely almost killed me. i don’t think i’ve ever struggled so much to finish something in my life and it’s 100% my fault for being too ambitious. you’ll notice i tried to weave in more hogwarts details and brit lingo to make it feel more authentic, but as you may have guessed… i am not british 😭 so that meant a lot of googling, rewatching, and rereading some of my fav hp fics just to make sure i wasn’t embarrassing myself. i did my best okay (shoutout to every hp fic writer before me, yall are the blueprint). also: yes, you may catch a hint of draco malfoy in jaemin’s character and that’s very much intentional. i am, at my core, a draco apologist and i don’t see myself changing. anyways. i really hope you enjoy reading this as much as i suffered writing it. please let me know what you think w ur comments, anons, reblogs. everything is appreciated more than you know 🖤
“I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Hogwarts had always held a certain allure, with its ancient stone walls and magic that seemed to permeate every nook and cranny. For six and a half years, you'd wandered those hallowed halls, immersing yourself in a world so far removed from the mundane that at times it hardly seemed real.
Yet, for all its wonder and mystique, Hogwarts was not without its dangers.
There were cursed objects that lurked in shadowy corridors, waiting for an unsuspecting student to stumble upon them. Staircases that shifted without warning, leaving the unwary stranded or, worse, deposited in some unknown part of the castle. The Whomping Willow that stood sentinel on the grounds, its gnarled branches poised to strike at any who ventured too close. Even Peeves the Poltergeist roamed the halls, cackling with malicious glee as he wreaked havoc and sowed chaos in his wake.
In the face of such peril, you had thus far emerged unscathed, a feat that was nothing short of remarkable given the castle's rather alarming mortality rate. You attributed your survival to a simple yet effective strategy: be invisible, be boring, and for the love of Merlin, stay away from anyone interesting.
Interesting people, you had learned, were magnets for trouble. They ended up in the hospital wing with alarming regularity, usually victims of rogue hexes or potions experiments gone awry. They attracted drama the way honey attracted flies, their lives a constant whirlwind of rumor and intrigue. Interesting people had complicated social lives, with networks of friends and enemies and romantic entanglements that required constant upkeep.
You, on the other hand, were perfectly content with your quiet, unassuming existence. You had one close friend, one beloved cat, and a comfortable routine that rarely demanded more of you than attending classes and avoiding human interaction as much as possible. It wasn't a particularly exciting life, but it was safe and predictable and suited you just fine.
At least, it had until this particular moment, when your sole friend had apparently taken complete leave of her senses.
"Are you having some sort of episode?" You peered at Jo over the top of your book, brow furrowed in concern. "Should I fetch Madam Pomfrey? Is this what happens when you inhale too many potion fumes?"
Jo rolled her eyes with an exaggerated huff. "Please!" she wheedled, her voice climbing to that particular pitch that never boded well. "Please please please, I swear on Merlin's saggy ba—"
You held up a finger, cutting her off before she could complete that thought. "I'm going to stop you right there..."
"I'll never ask you for anything ever again!" She pleaded, clasping her hands together. "I'll do your Potions essays for a month! I'll clean Whiskers' litter box! I'll—"
"I don't think you heard me the first time," you interrupted, fixing her with a pointed stare. "Are. You. Mental?"
The Gryffindor common room was mercifully empty save for the portrait of a tongue-less lady, who watched your exchange with rapt attention. Having gotten her tongue cut out in 1642 for "seditious gossip", the painted woman had developed a keen appreciation for drama in all its forms. Judging by the way she clutched at her pearls, this was the most excitement she'd witnessed in decades. Whiskers was curled up in your lap, observing your best friend with as much judgement as you probably were.
"Come ooon," Jo cajoled, undeterred by your apparent lack of enthusiasm. "When do I ever do things like this? You're always telling me to try new things!"
"I meant take up knitting! Join the Gobstones Club! I did not mean sneak out of the castle in the middle of the night to meet some potentially lycanthropic stranger you've been corresponding with!"
"He's not a stranger, I've been writing to him for months—"
"Which is exactly what every person who's ever been murdered by a pen pal has said—"
"And he's not a werewolf, he's perfectly lovely! I saw him in Hogsmeade last month, I just couldn't say hello because McGonagall was watching me like a hawk."
"Seeing someone from a distance hardly counts as a proper introduction," you argued, pulling your blanket tighter around yourself as if to punctuate your point.
This was the problem with having just one close friend. You knew Jo too well, could read her every expression and intonation better than anyone else. That gleam in her eye, the set of her chin, the way she twisted her fingers in her lap - you recognized the signs of a course already plotted, a decision already made. She would go through with this mad scheme with or without your help, and if you refused, she'd likely end up dead in a ditch somewhere and you'd be left to drown in guilt for the rest of your days.
Guilt, you thought grimly, was a most effective motivator.
With a weary sigh, you closed your book and met Jo's hopeful gaze. "Fine. Fine. What exactly do you need me to do?"
Jo's answering grin could have lit up the entirety of the Great Hall. "Just swap patrol shifts with Sophie Crockett tomorrow night? She's an absolute nightmare, and if she catches me out after curfew she'll go straight to McGonagall."
You could feel a headache blooming behind your eyes. "And when Sophie asks why I'm suddenly so eager to take on the worst patrol slot in existence?"
"Just make something up! She's not going to turn down a chance to skive off for an evening, is she?"
Rubbing your temples, you silently cursed the fickle twists of fate that had led you to this moment. "And the other prefects? I'll still have to deal with them, you know."
Jo waved a hand dismissively. "Nah, you're all right. The only other one scheduled is Na Jaemin, and everyone knows he never actually patrols. Just goes and snogs girls in the library all night, doesn't he?"
You raised an incredulous eyebrow. "How would you know that?"
"Everyone knows," Jo said with a shrug. "It's common knowledge."
"Well, I didn't know."
"That's because you never pay attention to gossip," Jo pointed out, flopping down beside you on the couch. "Honestly, you're missing out on prime entertainment. Anyway, I'm sure Jaemin's got better things to do than patrol corridors. You'll probably have the place to yourself.”
You made a noncommittal sound, trying not to think too hard about Na Jaemin and his extracurricular activities.
It was funny, really. Or rather more like cosmically ironic. First and second year, Jaemin had been an absolute pest. Always lurking around corners, waiting to charm your bag so your books would spill everywhere, or jinx your quill during tests so it would only write rude limericks. He’d found you endlessly amusing, apparently, a never-ending source of entertainment. You’d gone to bed countless nights fuming, plotting revenge you’d never actually carry out, wishing he’d just leave you alone.
And then, somewhere around third year, he just stopped. He stopped seeking you out, or looking at you entirely. As if you’d ceased to exist the moment you stopped being fun to torment.
By fourth year, he’d transformed into a whole different person entirely. Suddenly he was all smoldering glances and that insufferable “playboy” swagger, a different girl on his arm every week. Too cool for pranks and too sophisticated for something as juvenile as tormenting students. He’d become exactly the sort of person you’d made it your mission to avoid: interesting, magnetic, drowning in attention and drama.
You supposed you should have been relieved. You’d wanted him to leave you alone, after all. But there was something particularly galling about being so thoroughly dismissed, about going from his favorite target to utterly beneath his notice. At least when he’d been pulling pranks, you’d existed to him.
Now you were just… nobody. Which was exactly what you’d wanted, you reminded yourself firmly. Exactly what you’d worked so hard to achieve.
“You’re probably right,” you said to Jo, pushing thoughts of Jaemin firmly out of your mind. “I’ll probably have the whole patrol to myself.”
Privately, you rather doubted that. In your experience, the universe had a way of placing you in the path of people and situations you'd much rather avoid. Still, Jo was clearly determined to see her plan through, and short of physically restraining her (a tempting prospect, but ultimately impractical), you saw no way to dissuade her.
"Fine," you said again. "I'll take Sophie's patrol. But if this goes sideways, I reserve the right to say 'I told you so' in the loudest, most obnoxious voice I can muster."
"You're the best." Jo pulled you into a rib-cracking hug, her hair tickling your nose. "Seriously, I owe you one."
"You owe me several," you grumbled, but you returned the hug all the same.
Later that night, as you lay in bed listening to the soft snores of your dormmates, you tried to ignore the sense of foreboding curling in your gut. Rationally, you knew the odds of anything truly catastrophic happening were slim. It was just one night, one patrol, one tiny favor for your best friend. Surely the universe wouldn't be so cruel as to upend your careful, boring routine over something so trivial.
But then, you thought wryly, life did seem to have a twisted sense of humor where you were concerned.
With a sigh, you rolled over and buried your face in your pillow, willing sleep to come. Tomorrow would bring what it would. For now, all you could do was hope that, just this once, the cosmic forces that governed your life would decide to give you a break.
Poorly planned rule-breaking never worked out the way you expected it to.
There was the first year incident, for instance, involving a misplaced curiosity about the Restricted Section and a borrowed invisibility cloak that was, crucially, not yours. You’d lasted exactly twelve minutes before knocking over a stack of cursed folios and alerting Madam Pince.
Second year had been defined by an ill-advised attempt to brew Pepper-Up Potion in a bathroom sink, resulting in steam, screaming, and a week-long ban from practical spellwork. Jo still insisted it would have worked if you’d stirred clockwise instead of counterclockwise. You maintained that the problem was attempting potion-making in plumbing never designed for magic.
After those things, you'd like to say you saw the impending disaster coming from a mile away, but honestly? You were too preoccupied with figuring out how to convince Sophie Crockett to swap shifts without making her suspicious.
As it turned out, Sophie was pathetically easy to persuade. You caught her after Charms, mentioned something vague about "wanting to study for the Divination exam in the morning" (there was no Divination exam, but Sophie didn't take Divination, so she was none the wiser), and she agreed immediately, no questions asked. Just a breezy "Oh, thank Merlin, I've got an Astronomy essay I haven't even started" and that was that.
In hindsight, that should have been your first warning sign. When things fell into place too smoothly, it usually meant the universe was just winding up for a truly spectacular cosmic sucker punch.
At nine sharp on Saturday you pinned your prefect badge to your robes and made your way down to the Entrance Hall, silently cursing your inability to say no to Jo's puppy dog eyes.
The castle took on a different character at night. Not peaceful, exactly. More... haunting. The portraits whispered conspiratorially as you passed, and the shadows in the corners seemed to stretch and deepen weirdly. You'd walked these corridors countless times before, but they never quite lost their eerie quality after dark.
You were supposed to meet Jaemin at the main staircase to divvy up patrol routes. But in theory, if the rumors about his extracurricular activities were true, you'd never actually know have to interact with him at all.
That was the theory, anyway.
The reality was that when you arrived at the designated meeting spot, Na Jaemin was already there, leaning against the banister and looking distinctly un-snog-ready.
Jaemin was the sort of boy who looked like he was born in moonlight and named by a poet. Even in the sallow torchlight, his hair glowed, silver-gold and a little too long for regulation. There was always something quietly triumphant in the angle of his jaw, the tilt of his smile, as if every corridor was a stage and every passing student a captive audience.
You stopped short, your feet suddenly rooted to the spot. Some ancient, reflexive part of your brain was screaming at you to turn around, to flee, to avoid him the way you’d been so carefully avoiding him for the past four years. The last time you’d been alone with Na Jaemin you’d been twelve years old and he’d been too entertained by your mortification to let you escape.
Now you were seventeen, and he was looking at you with an expression that was completely different and all too intense. He was supposed to be off in some secluded corner of the library, doing unspeakable things with whatever girl was lucky enough to be on his arm that week. He was absolutely not supposed to be here, looking alert and purposeful and like he was actually planning to do his job.
Even more concerning, he looked annoyed.
"You're the Gryffindor prefect," he said, and it sounded more like an accusation than a question.
"...Yes?" Really, what else could you say?
"Where's Crockett?"
"We swapped shifts."
His eyes, a rather striking shade of dark brown that you'd never had occasion to notice before, narrowed suspiciously. "Why?"
"Does it matter?"
He closed his eyes briefly, and you got the distinct impression he was counting to ten in his head. When he opened them again, he fixed you with a look that could have flash-frozen a cup of tea. "I needed Crockett on duty tonight."
Well. That was... odd. Extremely odd. Highly, suspiciously odd. Why would Na Jaemin, Slytherin prince and general too-cool-for-this-nonsense type, care which prefect was patrolling with him?
"Well," you said, channeling every ounce of polite defiance you possessed, "we've already swapped, so I'm afraid you're stuck with me. Unless you've got a Time-Turner hidden somewhere, which would be highly illegal, so I'm going to assume you don't."
Jaemin's jaw clenched almost imperceptibly. "This is—" He stopped himself, visibly recalibrating. "Fine. Right. You take floors three through five then. I'll handle the lower levels and the grounds."
And that's when your brain, which had been operating at half capacity due to stress and sleep deprivation, finally caught up with the situation.
The grounds.
Jaemin wanted to patrol the grounds.
The same grounds where, at this very moment, your best friend was likely rendezvousing with her mystery man.
Oh no.
"Actually," you heard yourself say, the words tumbling out in a slightly manic rush, "I was rather hoping to get some fresh air tonight. Bit stuffy in the castle, you know. Mind if we swap? You take the upper floors, I'll do the grounds."
His expression shuttered faster than a shop window in Knockturn Alley. "No."
"No?"
"No."
"Well, that's not very cooperative of you," you said, mentally calculating how quickly you could sprint to the grounds to warn Jo. "Aren't prefects supposed to work as a team?"
Jaemin raised one perfectly arched brow. "Why so keen on the grounds all of a sudden?"
"No reason." Your voice came out at least an octave higher than usual. "Just thought it would be nice to get some air. Lovely night for a stroll, don't you think?"
"You're an atrocious liar," he informed you, taking a step closer. You were suddenly, acutely aware of the fact that he was quite a bit taller than you, and that the height difference was doing absolutely nothing to bolster your confidence in this situation. "What's going on?"
"Nothing's going on."
"Of course not. And I suppose you just happened to swap shifts with Crockett tonight for no particular reason, and now you're coincidentally desperate to patrol the grounds."
Okay. This was getting out of control. You needed him. away from the grounds, away from Jo, away from this entire situation. And there was only one thing you could think of that might actually work.
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “What?”
“You know.” You waved a hand vaguely, heat creeping up your neck. “It’s Saturday night. I just thought you might have… plans.”
“Plans,” he repeated flatly.
“Yeah, well… You don’t actually patrol on Saturdays.” The words came out in a rush, ungraceful and desperate. “So if you want to go do whatever it is you usually do, I can handle this. Really. You don’t have to—”
“Whatever it is I usually do,” Jaemin said, his lips twitching. “And what exactly do you think that is?”
Oh god. Why had you started this?
“I don’t know. I don’t keep track of your schedule.”
“Clearly not, or you wouldn’t be standing here trying to… what? Give me permission to skive off?” He was definitely smiling now, the bastard. “How thoughtful of you.”
“I’m just saying, if you have other commitments—”
He laughed, short and sharp. “Is that what we’re calling it? Commitments?”
Your face was absolutely burning now. “Look, what you do with your time is none of my business.”
“You’re the one who brought it up.”
“Because I’m trying to be helpful!” You gestured wildly at the empty entrance hall. “The library’s right there. I’m sure whoever you’re supposed to meet would appreciate you actually showing up—”
“Ah.” Jaemin’s grin widened, showing teeth. “You think I’m supposed to meet someone in the library.”
“That’s what people say,” you muttered, unable to meet his eyes.
“People say a lot of things.” He leaned back against the banister, looking thoroughly entertained now. “And you believe all of them?”
“That’s not the point—”
“Tell me, what else does everyone say about me? I’m curious.”
This was a disaster. A complete and utter disaster. “Forget I said anything.”
“Oh no, I don’t think so.” He pushed off the banister, taking a step closer. “You started it. Come on, don’t be shy now. What exactly are these Saturday night activities I’m supposedly abandoning patrol for?”
You wanted the floor to open up and swallow you whole. “You already know what people say.”
“I do. But I want to hear you say it.” His eyes were dancing with so much glee. “Go on. Don’t spare my delicate sensibilities.”
“This is ridiculous—”
“Go on.”
You took a breath, lifted your chin, and forced the words out with as much dignity as you could muster. “Fine. People say you spend your patrol shifts in the library doing…things.”
“I really don’t. You’ll have to be more specific.”
He was enjoying this far too much, the absolute prat. “They say you… meet girls there.”
“Meet girls,” he said thoughtfully. “Like a book club?”
“Not like a book club,” you gritted out.
“Then what?”
You threw your hands up. “They say you snog girls in the library instead of doing your prefect duties! There! Are you happy?”
Jaemin laughed. “Merlin’s beard, is that it?”
“That’s what everyone says.”
“And you believed it?” He shook his head, still grinning. “That’s adorable, really.”
“Don’t call me that,” you snapped.
“Well, you are when you’re trying to delicately inform me about my own scandalous reputation.” His eyes glittered with delight. “How very considerate, giving me an out like that. ‘Oh Jaemin, don’t let me keep you from your library assignations.’”
He said it in a high pitched tone, clearly trying for a very inaccurate impression of you.
“I was only trying to be nice.” You huffed.
“You’re trying to get rid of me,” he corrected, but he didn’t sound annoyed about it. If anything, he seemed more intrigued. “Which brings us back to the question of why you’re so desperate for me to not patrol the grounds tonight.”
Damn it. You’d played right into his hands. “I’m not—”
“You just tried to use my supposed promiscuity as an excuse to get me to leave.” He tilted his head, studying you. “So either you’re deeply concerned about my social life, or there’s something on the grounds you don’t want me to find.”
Your heart was hammering again. He’d out-maneuvered you completely, turning your own attempt at manipulation back on you.
“Well?” he prompted. “Which is it?”
“The first one,” you lied weakly. “I’m very concerned about your social life.”
“Right.” His smile was sharper now, more predatory. “In that case, you’ll be delighted to know I’m completely free tonight. I have no library dates or clandestine meetings. Just a nice, thorough patrol of the grounds.” He paused. “With you, apparently, since you seem so determined to tag along.”
You rolled your eyes. “You are so irritating.”
“There’s the Gryffindor honesty I remember,” he said cheerfully. “Come on then. Let’s go catch whoever it is you’re trying to protect.”
Wait. What?
“I’m not—there’s no one—”
But he was already turning toward the entrance hall, and panic clawed at your throat. You needed to try something else, anything to keep him from the grounds.
“Look,” you said, a note of genuine desperation creeping into your voice, “patrolling the grounds is easily twice the work of the upper floors. I’m offering to take on the extra effort here. What’s the problem?”
He paused, glancing back at you with an expression of exaggerated surprise. “You? Volunteering for extra work?” He pressed a hand to his chest in shock. “I’m sorry, have we met? I’m Na Jaemin, and you’re the girl who once hid in a broom cupboard for twenty minutes to avoid helping set up for the Yule Ball.”
“I did not—” You stopped, because you absolutely had done that, and he somehow knew about it. “That’s not the point.”
“Isn’t it though?” He was grinning again, clearly enjoying himself. “Come on, admit it. You’ve spent six years perfecting the art of doing the absolute bare minimum. I’ve seen you let third years wander the corridors after curfew as long as they promised to go straight to bed.”
Your face burned. “I was tired that night—”
“You’re always tired.” He tilted his head. “So forgive me if I’m a bit skeptical about this sudden burst of civic responsibility. It’s very out of character for you.”
The sheer audacity. The unmitigated gall. To accuse you of apathy and then dismiss you without so much as a backward glance? An ember of indignation flared to life and burned away the last vestiges of your tattered patience. He had no right. No right to stand there and act like he understood anything about you when he was the reason you’d learned to make yourself invisible in the first place.
And now here he was, cataloging your flaws with that same amused smile, like you were still just entertainment to him.
“Fine,” you bit out. “Don’t take my offer. See if I care.”
“Oh, I won’t.” He turned back toward the entrance hall, waving a hand dismissively over his shoulder. “I’m patrolling the grounds. You can join me or check the upper floors. Your choice.”
“Why do you just get to decide that on your own? The grounds aren’t even part of the standard patrol route!”
"They are tonight," he tossed over his shoulder, not even bothering to turn around.
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
And with that spectacularly unhelpful explanation, he walked out the front doors, leaving you standing slack-jawed and sputtering in his wake.
This was it. The moment of truth. You had approximately five seconds to make a decision that would either save your best friend from expulsion or doom her to a fate worse than death.
Option one: let Jaemin go off on his own. He'd catch Jo, she'd be expelled, and you'd spend the rest of your life weighed down by the guilt of your inaction.
Option two: follow him, try to run interference, and most likely fail spectacularly but hey, at least you could say you tried.
In the end, your choice was clear. The reckless, devil-may-care loyalty that had landed you in Gryffindor in the first place reared its noble head, and before you quite knew what you were doing, you were hurrying out the doors after Jaemin, resignation and foreboding dogging your every step.
"I'm coming!" you called after him.
Jaemin spun around, one eyebrow quirked in a way that suggested he'd interpreted your words in a decidedly less innocent manner.
"To the grounds," you clarified hastily, feeling your face heat up. "To patrol. With you."
“I gathered that much,” he said, his tone dripping with amusement. “Though I appreciate the clarification. Wouldn’t want any misunderstandings.”
You glared at him, but he’d already turned back around, that damned smirk still visible in profile.
Beyond the castle corridors, the night grounds felt twice as ominous. Shadows stretched from the Forbidden Forest, where twisted branches reached toward the sky like gnarled fingers against the dark. Nearby, the Black Lake remained a silent mirror, its surface only occasionally broken by ripples that hinted at the heavy, mysterious life lurking in the depths.
Jaemin had conjured a floating orb of soft white light to guide your path, which was considerate yet irritating, as it seemed to delight in hovering mere inches from your face and nearly blinding you. He walked with an easy grace, hands in his pockets, looking for all the world like this was just a casual evening stroll and not a patently absurd situation that could land you both in a world of trouble.
You, on the other hand, were so tense you could practically feel your muscles vibrating. Your mind raced as you tried to remember what Jo had told you about her planned rendezvous.
They’d be in the grounds, obviously, but beyond that? Hogwarts' grounds spanned nearly a thousand acres and included everything from dense forest to rolling hills to a literal giant-squid-infested lake. If you were going to have any hope of intercepting Jo before Jaemin did, you needed a clearer idea of where exactly to look.
And you needed to keep him distracted.
“So,” Jaemin said, his voice cutting through your rising panic, “care to tell me what’s really going on here?”
“We’re patrolling,” you said, keeping your eyes fixed firmly ahead. “That’s what’s going on.”
“And I suppose you always volunteer for extra patrols on Saturday nights, do you? Just for the exercise?”
“Maybe I do. Fresh air is good for you.”
“Right.” He didn’t sound like he believed you for a second. “And here I thought you preferred to spend your evenings in the Restricted Section, avoiding human interaction as much as possible.”
You shot him a sideways glance. “Have you been spying on me?”
“It’s called being observant,” he said lightly. “You should try it sometime. Although I suppose that would require you to take an interest in something beyond your very busy schedule of going through the motions and avoiding anything that might resemble effort.”
There it was again, that annoying assessment of your character, delivered with a smile that made it impossible to tell if he was genuinely criticizing you or just winding you up for his own amusement.
Bristling, you planted your hands on your hips and glared up at him. "I put in effort when it matters."
"And I'm sure swapping shifts with Crockett was a matter of utmost importance, then?" His lips curved into a smirk that made you want to hex it right off his unfairly symmetrical face. "Go on. What’s so crucial about tonight? Did you lose a bet? Secret passion for night-time groundskeeping?”
“Why do you care so much?”
“Because you’re terrible at being subtle, and watching you try is genuinely entertaining.” He grinned at your affronted expression. “Plus, I’m curious. You’ve spent the better part of six years being aggressively unremarkable, and now here you are, practically begging to patrol the grounds with me. It’s very out of character.”
“Stop acting like you know everything about me.”
“I might not know everything about you,” he said, his voice taking on a knowing tone, “But I know you’re trying to protect someone.”
Your heart skipped. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t you?” He stopped walking, turning to face you fully. The floating light cast strange shadows across his features, making his expression harder to read. “Here’s what I think is happening. There’s someone out here meeting someone they shouldn’t be meeting. You agreed to swap with Crockett to cover for that person, expecting me to skip patrol like I apparently always do. But I didn’t, so now you’re stuck trying to run interference while pretending this is all perfectly normal.”
You stared at him, your mouth going dry. He’d worked it out. As expected, Na Jaemin might be annoying and smug and entirely too pleased with himself, but he’d never been stupid.
“That’s…” you started, but your voice came out weak. “That’s a very creative theory.”
“You’ve gone red again.” He tilted his head, studying you. “Dead giveaway.”
You opened your mouth to retort, but closed it again, floundering. There was absolutely no way to explain your actions without either incriminating Jo or making yourself look even more suspicious. You were well and truly cornered, and the triumphant gleam in Jaemin's eyes told you he knew it.
But before you could cobble together a halfway coherent response, a sound drifted through the night air that made you stop cold.
Laughter.
More specifically, Jo's laughter, bright and carefree and coming from somewhere worryingly close by.
Jaemin froze too, his eyes narrowing. "Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" you asked, feigning ignorance even as your heart threatened to beat its way out of your ribcage. "I didn't hear anything. Probably just the wind. It howls around the turrets sometimes..."
"That wasn't the wind." He was already moving again, long legs eating up the ground as he strode purposefully toward the source of the sound. "That was a person, maybe two, from the sounds of it"
"What? No, that's—I really think it was just the wind. Or maybe Peeves playing a prank. You know what a menace he is, always causing trouble, we should probably go back inside and—"
But he wasn't listening. Because he'd caught the scent of rule-breaking, and Merlin forbid he let it go in favor of the much more appealing option of minding his own damn business.
You had no choice. You were either going to have to physically stop him (a laughable notion - he had a good six inches and probably thirty pounds of muscle on you), or you were going to have to get to Jo first.
The words were out of your mouth before you could think better of them. "Wait!"
Miraculously, he actually stopped walking and turned to look at you, one eyebrow arched expectantly.
"I—" Your mind raced, grasping for any excuse, any diversion, anything to keep him from taking another step. "I think I saw something. Over there." You pointed vaguely off to your left, in the opposite direction of Jo's laughter. "We should go check it out."
Jaemin regarded you with exasperation. "You know, for someone who's spent the better part of six years avoiding attention, you're shockingly bad at subterfuge."
"I–I'm just being cautious. It's dark out here, and there could be...things. Dangerous things. Like snargaluffs, or...or a moke on the loose."
"A moke," he repeated flatly. "An invisible lizard the size of a mouse. You think I should be worried about a moke ambushing me.”
“They can be vicious!”
“They’re ten inches tall.”
“Size isn’t everything,” you shot back, then immediately regretted it as his grin widened into something positively wicked.
“I’ll have to take your word for that,” he said smoothly, and you felt your face flame.
“That’s not—I didn’t mean—oh, for Merlin’s sake.” You covered your face with your hands, wondering if it was possible to die of embarrassment. “Can we please just check the trees?”
“Why?” He took a step closer, and you had to tilt your head back to maintain eye contact. “What are you so afraid I’m going to find if we keep going this way?”
You hesitated, weighing your options. On the one hand, the truth was unthinkable. You couldn't just throw Jo to the wolves like that, not after you'd promised to cover for her. On the other hand, you were rapidly running out of plausible lies, and Jaemin clearly wasn't buying any of them.
“Nothing,” you said, but it came out weak and unconvincing even to your own ears.
“Nothing,” he echoed. “Right. So you won’t mind if I just—”
He made to move past you, toward where Jo’s laughter had come from, and you did the only thing you could think of.
You grabbed his arm.
The moment your fingers closed around his sleeve, you realized what a monumentally stupid mistake you’d made. You could feel the warmth of his skin through the fabric and the solid muscle beneath. He stilled instantly, his gaze dropping to where your hand clutched at him, then slowly lifting to meet your eyes.
“Please,” you said quietly, all pretense abandoned. “Don’t go over there. Just—just forget you heard anything, and I’ll explain later. I promise.”
He studied you for a long moment. You were acutely aware of how close you were standing, of the way his eyes seemed to catch every flicker of emotion that crossed your face.
"So you are covering for someone," he said at last. "A friend, I'm guessing. The one you're always with? The loud one, with the"—he gestured vaguely—"the hair?"
"Her hair is perfectly normal, thank you very much, and I don't see how that's any of your business."
"It absolutely is my business, seeing as there are students out of bed and I'm a prefect. I'm supposed to report this sort of thing, you know."
"Yes, well, I'm also a prefect, and I'm asking you not to." Desperation bled into your voice, and you hated it, hated that you were practically begging him for something that you had no right to ask for. “Please, Jaemin. Can't you just...look the other way? Just this once?"
He was silent for a long moment, and you braced yourself for the inevitable. For the sneer, the cutting remark, the gleeful reminder that he was a Slytherin and Slytherins didn't do favors without expecting something in return.
But when he finally spoke, his voice was surprisingly soft. "You really care about her, don't you? Your friend."
You swallowed hard, caught off guard by the gentleness in his tone. "She's my best friend. I'd do anything for her."
"Even lie to a fellow prefect and risk getting in trouble yourself."
"Yes." You met his gaze squarely, unflinching. "Even that."
Another long silence, and then he sighed. "All right, fine."
You blinked. "Fine?"
"Fine, I won't report her. But"—he held up a hand as you opened your mouth to thank him—"I want something in return."
There it was. You should have known it wouldn't be that easy. Slytherins always had an angle, and Jaemin was Slytherin to the core.
Wariness crept into your voice as you asked, "What sort of something?"
His lips curved into a smile that could only be described as predatory. "A favor. One favor, to be determined by me, at a time of my choosing. Do this, and I'll conveniently forget I heard anything tonight."
Your stomach dropped. A favor. An open-ended, unspecified, could-be-anything favor, owed to Na Jaemin. Well. This was how you died, not in a blaze of glory like a true Gryffindor, but in the thrall of a serpent's forked tongue and devastating jawline.
But what choice did you have? If you refused, Jo would be caught for sure. And then she'd be expelled, and it would be all your fault, and you'd have to live with the guilt for the rest of your life. A life which, frankly, was looking shorter and shorter with each passing minute as Jaemin stared you down, waiting for your answer.
"Fine," you said through gritted teeth. "One favor. But nothing illegal or dangerous or humiliating."
His smile widened, showing far too many teeth for your comfort. "Look at that. You’re negotiating. Will wonders never cease?"
"Those are my terms. Take them or leave them."
"Oh, I'll take them." He held out a hand, long fingers uncurling in an inviting gesture. "Shall we shake on it?"
You glared at his hand like it might bite you (and really, with Jaemin, who knew?) but reluctantly reached out and grasped it. His skin was warm, his grip firm, and you tried very hard not to think about how nice his hand felt in yours.
"Pleasure doing business with you," he murmured, and was it your imagination or did his thumb just stroke across your knuckles?
You snatched your hand back like you'd been burned, face flushing. "Yes, well. You'd better hold up your end of the bargain."
"I'm a man of my word." He sketched a mocking little bow. "Your friend's secret is safe with me for now."
The words 'for now' hung there as a silent threat, and you suppressed a shiver. What had you just agreed to? What price would you have to pay for your loyalty?
As if reading your thoughts, Jaemin's smile turned sly. "Don't look so worried. I promise I won't ask for anything too dreadful. Probably."
"Probably," you repeated faintly.
"Probably," he confirmed, and then he turned on his heel and started back toward the castle, leaving you to trail after him in a daze.
The rest of the patrol passed in a blur. You walked in silence, Jaemin seemingly content to let you stew in your own anxiety, and by the time you returned to the Entrance Hall, you were a nervous wreck. You kept imagining all the horrible things he might ask for—doing his homework for the rest of the term, being his personal servant, confessing to McGonagall that you were the one who'd let those nifflers loose in the staff room last year (even though that had been entirely Jo's doing and you'd just been an unwilling accomplice).
At the foot of the stairs, Jaemin paused and turned to face you. In the dim light of the entrance hall, his eyes were pools of shadow, unreadable and fathomless.
"I'll be in touch," he said, his voice low and full of dark promise. "Sweet dreams."
And then he was gone, melting into the shadows like he'd been born from them, leaving you with a racing heart and the sinking certainty that your life was about to become a lot more complicated.
The next morning, you cornered Jo in the common room before breakfast, pulling her into the corner by the window where no one could overhear.
“Tell me everything went okay last night,” you demanded without preamble. “Please tell me you didn’t do something insane—”
“Whoa, whoa!” Jo held up her hands, her eyes wide. “I’m fine! Everything went perfectly. Well, mostly perfectly. There was a weird moment where I thought I heard someone coming, but then nothing happened, so…” She trailed off, then grabbed your shoulders. “Wait. What happened to you? You look like you haven’t slept.”
“That’s because I haven’t.” You started pacing anxiously. “Jo. I think I might have done something really, really stupid.”
Her expression changed from concern to dread in the span of a second. “What kind of stupid?”
“The kind that involves Na Jaemin and a debt to repay.”
“Oh no.” Jo’s face went pale. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I did.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.” You tugged at your hair, feeling the full weight of last night’s decision crushing down on you. “He wanted to patrol the grounds, Jo. He would have found you. I couldn’t let that happen, so I… I made a deal with him.”
Jo stared at you like you'd just confessed to murdering the Minister of Magic. "You made a deal with Na Jaemin. The boy who once convinced half the school that Professor Flitwick was secretly a goblin in disguise."
"To be fair, he has a dash of goblin blood..."
"Not the point!" She grabbed your shoulders, forcing you to stop pacing. "What kind of deal are we talking about here? What did you promise him?"
You took a deep breath. "A favor."
"A favor," she repeated slowly. "What kind of favor?"
“The unspecified kind. The ‘to be determined at a later date’ kind. The ‘I now owe Na Jaemin a debt that he can collect on whenever he wants’ kind.”
She looked about two seconds away from fainting. “You didn’t.”
“I panicked!” you wailed, not caring that you were probably drawing attention from the other early risers scattered around the common room. “It was either agree to the favor or let him catch you with Mr. Mysterious! What was I supposed to do?”
“Not sell your soul to a Slytherin, for starters!” She released you and began pacing, chewing on her thumbnail in that way she only did when she was truly stressed. “This is bad. This is really, really bad. Na Jaemin with a favor from you? He could ask for anything. Anything.”
“You think I don’t know that?” You dropped your head into your hands. “I’ve been up all night imagining the horrible things he might ask for. What if he wants me to do something illegal? What if he wants me to sabotage someone? What if he wants me to—” You shuddered. “—publicly humiliate myself somehow?”
Jo stopped pacing, her expression shifting from panic to determination. “Okay. Okay, we’re not going to catastrophize. Yes, this is bad. Yes, owing Jaemin a favor is potentially disastrous. But it’s not the end of the world.”
“Isn’t it though?”
“No.” She sat down beside you, taking your hand. “Listen to me. You did this to protect me. You put yourself on the line because you’re a good friend, the best friend, and I’m not going to let you face this alone. Whatever Jaemin asks for, we’ll figure it out together. Okay?”
You wanted to take comfort in her words, in the fierce loyalty shining in her eyes. But deep down, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d just made a deal with the devil, and the bill would come due sooner rather than later.
“Okay,” you said quietly, squeezing her hand. “Together.”
“Together,” she confirmed. Then her expression turned mischievous. “Besides, who knows? Maybe he’ll ask for something simple. Like help with his Potions essay or something.”
You snorted despite yourself. “Jaemin doesn’t need help with Potions. He’s annoyingly good at everything.”
“Well then maybe he’ll ask you to—I don’t know—organize his sock drawer? Polish his prefect badge?”
“Jo.”
“I’m just saying, it might not be as bad as you think!”
But even as you tried to let her optimism buoy you, you couldn't shake the feeling that your life had just changed irrevocably. That in agreeing to owe Jaemin a favor, you'd set into motion a chain of events that you couldn't possibly predict or control.
Whatever he wanted from you, you had a feeling it wouldn’t be something as simple as organizing his socks.
A haze of anxiety and paranoia defined the following week, one that had you reaching a level of vigilance that would have impressed even Mad-Eye Moody.
You jumped at every sudden noise, flinched every time a Slytherin so much as glanced in your direction, and spent an inordinate amount of time scanning the Great Hall for any sign of Jaemin’s blonde head bent in whispered conversation with his housemates, plotting your doom.
To avoid him, you mapped out convoluted routes to class, opting for deserted corridors even when they made you late. Mealtimes were rescheduled to avoid the rush—breakfast at dawn, lunch in the late afternoon, and dinner only when the Hall had emptied to a few stragglers. In Potions, which was the one class you shared with him, you positioned yourself as far from his usual spot as physically possible, practically pressed against the dungeon wall, and refused to so much as breathe in his direction.
Not that it mattered… Because he didn’t approach you at all.
He just watched you.
From across the courtyard, his gaze would find you through a flurry of Slytherin green. Other times, your eyes would drift upward in Potions only to find him already staring, head propped lazily in his palm. He looked for all the world as if you were far more entertaining than any lecture Professor Slughorn could provide.
You started second-guessing everything. The way you sat, the way you spoke, the way you tugged at your sleeve or tucked your hair behind your ear when nervous. You found yourself becoming a caricature of yourself: rigid, overly cautious, desperate to give nothing away.
By the end of the week, you were a nervous wreck. You’d bitten your nails down to the quick. Developed a stress-induced rash on your neck that no amount of Essence of Dittany could soothe. And even started having vivid nightmares about Jaemin cornering you in increasingly absurd locations like the Prefects’ bathroom, or memorably in the middle of a Quidditch match where he’d swooped down on a broom to demand you juggle puffapods while the entire school watched.
“You need to sleep,” Jo said on Friday night, eyeing the bags under your eyes with concern. “This is getting ridiculous. You look like you’ve been hit with a Confundus Charm.”
“I can’t sleep,” you muttered, your third cup of coffee cooling forgotten beside your Transfiguration essay. “Every time I close my eyes, I just see his face. That stupid, smug, infuriatingly perfect face.”
Jo’s eyebrows shot up. “Perfect?”
“Putrid,” you corrected hastily, feeling your face heat. “I meant putrid. The point is, I can’t relax knowing that at any moment, he could just… appear and demand whatever horrific thing he’s been planning.”
“Maybe he’s forgotten about it,” Jo suggested, though she didn’t sound convinced. “Maybe he was just messing with you, and he never actually intended to collect.”
You wanted to believe that. You really did. But you’d seen the satisfied glint in Jaemin’s eyes when you’d shaken hands.
No. He hadn’t forgotten. He was just biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.
The weekend dragged on with NEWTs studying, failed naps and increasingly creative avoidance techniques. By Sunday morning, you were so on edge that when an owl swooped down at breakfast and dropped a letter directly onto your plate, you actually screamed.
Half the Gryffindor table turned to stare.
“It’s just the post,” Jo said soothingly, though she was eyeing the letter with nearly as much suspicion as you were. “Probably from your mother.”
Your hands shook as you picked up the envelope. The handwriting was your mother’s, thank Merlin, and you sagged with relief as you broke the seal.
“See?” Jo said. “You’re being paranoid.”
“Can you blame me?” you muttered, scanning your mother’s cheerful recounting of your aunt’s latest garden gnome infestation. “It’s been a week, Jo. A whole week of nothing. It’s unnatural.”
“Psychological warfare, that’s what this is. Classic Slytherin mind games. He’s letting you stew, letting the anticipation build, until you’re so wound up that you’ll agree to anything just to put yourself out of your misery.”
“Thank you, Jo,” you said through gritted teeth, stabbing your sausage with enough force to make your fork screech against the plate. “That’s incredibly comforting.”
“I’m just saying, it’s textbook manipulation.” She reached for the marmalade, unbothered by your glare. “My cousin Fergus dated a girl from that house once, and she used to—”
But you never found out what Jo's cousin's Slytherin ex-girlfriend did, because at that moment, a hush fell over the Great Hall. You looked up, already knowing what you'd see, and felt your stomach drop straight through the floor.
Jaemin was walking toward the Gryffindor table with purpose and intent, his long strides eating up the distance between the Slytherin table and yours. His eyes were fixed on you with such singular focus that you couldn’t have looked away if you tried.
There was a small satisfied smile playing on his lips.
He was enjoying this, the utter bastard. Enjoying the way every eye in the hall was now fixed on you, the way whispers erupted in his wake like the hissing of a hundred snakes.
He came to a stop directly across from you, and you had to crane your neck to meet his eyes. They were dancing with amusement, and you had the sudden, wild urge to tip your pumpkin juice into his lap.
"Good morning," he said, for all the world as if this were a perfectly normal interaction and not a blatant violation of the unwritten rules that governed breakfast seating arrangements. "Sleep well?"
You gaped at him, too stunned to formulate a response. Beside you, Jo made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort hastily disguised as a cough.
Jaemin’s smile widened, showing a flash of teeth. “I’ll take that as a no.” His gaze swept over you, taking in the bags under your eyes, the coffee stains on your robes, the general air of sleep-deprived panic you’d been cultivating all week. “Have you been avoiding me?”
The question was delivered lightly, almost teasingly, but there was an undercurrent to it. A knowing edge that said he was perfectly aware of every corridor you’d ducked down, every meal you’d skipped, every desperate attempt you’d made to stay out of his path.
“Avoiding you?” you repeated with a nervous laugh. “Of course not. I’ve been—I’ve been busy. Studying and stuff.”
“Mm.” He didn’t sound remotely convinced. “Well, you’re not busy now, are you? I need to talk to you.” He paused, letting his gaze sweep meaningfully across the rapt faces surrounding you. “Privately.”
Oh no. Oh no no no.
"Huh?" you said eloquently.
"Talk. Privately," he repeated, enunciating each syllable as if you were a particularly slow-witted troll.
“I’m eating breakfast,” you said weakly, gesturing at your plate where your eggs had gone cold and congealed.
“You can eat later.” It wasn’t a suggestion. “Come on. This won’t take long.”
Every fiber of your being wanted to plant yourself in your seat and force him to either leave or make a scene. But you could feel the weight of the entire school’s attention pressing down on you.
You glanced around, taking in the avid stares, the blatant eavesdropping, the gleeful anticipation on every face. Even the staff table looked uncommonly interested, with Professor McGonagall peering at you over her spectacles and Flitwick not even pretending not to listen in.
"Fine," you bit out, shoving back from the table with enough force to make the dishes rattle. "Lead the way."
Jaemin inclined his head, that infuriating smile still playing about his lips, and turned to walk out of the hall. You followed, determinedly ignoring the explosion of chatter that erupted in your wake.
He led you out of the castle, across the dew-damp lawn, all the way to the edge of the lake where a lone beech tree stretched its branches over the water. It was, you noted sourly, an incredibly picturesque spot for a clandestine meeting. Almost as if he'd planned it that way.
"All right," you said, crossing your arms and fixing him with your best glare. "What do you want?"
He leaned against the tree trunk, the picture of nonchalance, and regarded you with a calculating expression. "I think you know."
"The favor," you said flatly.
"The favor," he agreed. "Time to pay up, I'm afraid."
Your heart began to race at this, palms turning clammy as every horrible scenario you'd imagined over the past week came rushing back.
You took a deep breath, steeling yourself. "Fine. What is it? What do you want me to do?"
Jaemin pushed off the tree and took a few steps toward you until he was so close you could see the individual flecks of gold in his dark eyes.
He looked down at you, his expression turning serious, almost solemn. "I need you," he said softly, "to be my girlfriend."
What the fuck.
You stared at him dumbly. Surely he'd said something else—"be my guard friend" or literally anything that made more sense than what you thought you'd heard. But after several seconds of awkward silence he simply stood there, staring back.
"I'm sorry," you said at last. "I must have misheard you. It sounded like you just said—"
"Be my girlfriend," he repeated, enunciating each word carefully. "That's the favor I'm asking."
You searched his face for any sign that this was a prank, or at the very least a bizarre figment of your overtired and overstressed imagination.
But he looked deadly serious, his eyes never leaving yours, his jaw set in a way that suggested he was bracing himself for your reaction.
"Right," you said slowly. "Okay. So you've clearly been hit with a Bludger recently. Or maybe you inhaled some dodgy spores from the Forest?" You peered at him more closely, genuinely concerned now. "I think you might be having some sort of mental episode—"
"I'm not having a mental episode."
You started backing away slowly, hands raised placatingly. “Just stay there, I'm going to go get help. Maybe Madam Pomfrey has an antidote for whatever's happened to your brain—"
"My brain is fine," Jaemin said, and he actually had the audacity to look amused. "I'm completely serious."
"That's even more concerning!" You threw your hands up. "Jaemin, you can't just—I mean, we barely even—we're not even friends! You spent two years torturing me and then four years pretending I didn't exist! And now you want me to be your girlfriend?"
"Fake girlfriend," he corrected.
"Oh, well, that changes everything," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "Fake girlfriend. Of course. How silly of me. That makes perfect sense."
"It does, actually, if you'd let me explain—"
"No. Absolutely not. This is—this is insane. You've lost your mind. Gone completely round the bend." You started pacing frantically. "You could have literally any girl in this school. Any girl! I’m sure there’s probably a waiting list even. And you want me to pretend to date you?"
"Yes."
"Why?!"
"Because you're perfect for this," he said with a shrug.
You let out a slightly hysterical laugh. "I'm what now?"
"Perfect," he repeated, and there wasn't a trace of humor in his voice now. "Think about it. You're a half-blood—"
"Oh don’t start with that blood purity crap—"
"No, I mean that it works perfectly because you're not involved in pureblood politics. You're not part of my usual social circle. You have no reason to want anything from me or my family beyond this one favor." He was ticking points off on his fingers now. "If we start dating, it'll be believable precisely because it's so unexpected."
"You think people will just believe that we're dating. You and me."
"Why not?"
"Because—" You gestured wildly between the two of you. "—because look at us! You're you, and I'm—I'm me! I spend my free time reading in corners and avoiding human interaction! You spend yours being disgustingly popular and having your pick of the female population! We have nothing in common! We don't even like each other!"
"All excellent points for why no one will suspect it's fake," he said smoothly. "If I were trying to stage a relationship, I’d pick someone more obvious. Someone from my house, someone I'm already friendly with. The fact that it's you makes it more authentic."
You stared at him, your brain struggling to process this absolute madness. "Have you been Imperisued or something? Seriously, I'm genuinely worried about you right now."
"I appreciate your concern," he said dryly. "But I assure you, I'm thinking perfectly clearly."
"Then explain it to me," you demanded, throwing your hands up in exasperation. "Because from where I'm standing, this makes about as much sense as trying to teach a troll how to read. Why on earth would you need a fake girlfriend? You're Na Jaemin! Half the school is in love with you! If you wanted a real girlfriend, you could probably just point at someone and they'd swoon into your arms!"
"That's actually part of the problem," he muttered, and was that... was that a hint of frustration in his voice?
You blinked. "What?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "There's a girl. Yuna. Her family and mine... they move in the same circles. Have for generations. Old pureblood families, lots of money, all that tedious rubbish."
"Okay...?"
"And lately, she's gotten it into her head that we're meant to be together. That it's our destiny to unite our families, carry on the pureblood tradition, produce the next generation of perfectly bred wizarding heirs." His voice was slightly tinged with disgust. "She won't take no for an answer."
Despite yourself, despite the absolute insanity of this entire situation, you felt a bit of sympathy. "And you don't want that."
"I'd rather wrestle a Hungarian Horntail," he said flatly. "But she's not listening. Every time I tell her I'm not interested, she just smiles and says I'm playing hard to get. That I'll come around eventually."
"That's..." You searched for the appropriate words. "That's actually kind of disturbing."
"It's extremely disturbing," he agreed. "And I can't just tell her to fuck off, because our families... it's complicated. There's business deals, social connections, generations of intertwined pureblood nonsense. If I publicly reject her, it could cause all sorts of problems."
"So you need a girlfriend," you said slowly, finally starting to understand. "A visible reason why you can't be with her."
"Exactly." He gave you a hopeful look. "Someone who won't get caught up in the drama and then can walk away clean when it's over. Someone like you."
You covered your face with your hands and sighed. "This is still insane."
"Is it though?"
"Yes! Completely, utterly, absolutely insane!" You started pacing again. "Jaemin, in case it's escaped your notice, we can barely stand each other! We've barely had a conversation longer than five minutes that didn't involve you annoying me or me wanting to hex you! How exactly do you propose we convince anyone we're madly in love?"
"We don't have to be madly in love," he said. "Just... dating. You know, just act like a regular couple, sit together at meals, go to Hogsmeade on weekends. People see us together, word gets back to Yuna, she backs off. Simple."
"Simple?” you repeated incredulously. "You think any part of this is simple?"
"More simple than the alternative." His expression turned serious. "Look, I wouldn't ask if I had any other choice. But I'm running out of options here, and you're—" He paused. "You're the only person I can trust with this."
That brought you up short. “You barely know me."
"I know enough," he said quietly. "I know you're loyal. I know you'd do anything for your friends, you proved that when you made our deal. I know you're not interested in status or popularity or any of the things most people want from me. And I know that when this is over, you'll keep your word and walk away."
The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard. This wasn't the smug, teasing Jaemin from the patrol or the cold, dismissive one from your earlier years. This was someone... genuine. Vulnerable, even.
"I think I need to sit down," you said faintly.
There was a convenient rock nearby and you sank down onto it, your head spinning.
"So just let me make sure I got it right," you said, staring out at the lake. "You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend. To protect you from an obsessive pureblood heiress who won't take no for an answer and so you won’t get trapped into a marriage of convenience.”
"That's the gist of it, yes."
"For how long?"
"A month? Maybe two at most."
"Two months?!" You whipped around to stare at him. "You want me to pretend to be your girlfriend for two months? Are you completely off your rocker?!"
“Come on, two months isn’t even that long—"
"Two months is eight weeks! Sixty days! Over a thousand hours of my life spent pretending to be in love with you!" You were nearly hyperventilating now. You shot to your feet, pacing again.
“Again, no need to be madly in love—"
"And have you thought about the logistics of this?" You spun to face him. "Every girl in this castle is going to hate me! They already probably think we're shagging or something after your little breakfast stunt, and that was two minutes! Imagine two months of that! I'll need to go into witness protection!"
“I think that’s a bit of an overreaction.”
"Jaemin, people will actually want to murder me. There will be attempts on my life. I'll have to taste-test all my food for poison. Sleep with one eye open. Practice a good shield charm—"
"Nobody's going to try to murder you."
"You don’t know that!"
“And we wouldn't even be together the entire time," he continued as if you hadn't spoken. "Just... in public. Where people can see us. The rest of the time you can go back to pretending I don't exist."
You let out a laugh that bordered on hysteria. "Oh, well, that makes it so much better. Thank you for that generous concession."
"Are you finished panicking?" he asked mildly.
You glared at him. "No. No, I'm not finished. I'm just getting started. Do you have any idea how exhausting this sounds? How mortifying? I've spent six years perfecting the art of being invisible, and now you want me to voluntarily become the center of attention? The subject of gossip and speculation? Do you know what that will do to me?"
“Come on, it won’t be that bad.”
He seemed too casual about all this. It made you wonder if he did this sort of thing often. Not that it would be surprising, purebloods had weird customs that you could never begin to understand.
"Okay," you said slowly after a few seconds of gathering what little patience you had. "Okay. Let's say—and I'm not agreeing to anything—but let's say I did this. Don't you think people would find it a bit suspicious? Us dating out of nowhere? We've barely spoken in years. We're not friends or even friendly. People aren't stupid, Jaemin."
"We'll say we've been keeping it quiet," he said, like he'd already thought this through. "We didn’t want the attention, wanted to make sure it was real before we went public. No one will question it if we sell it right."
"And how exactly do you propose we do that?" You fixed him with a glare.
“Easy. We make it look like we can't keep our hands off each other. You know, hold hands, and that sort of thing. Make it look convincing."
“You want me to hold your hand?”
"Among other things."
"What does that even mean…?”
"Well, we'd have to play it convincingly," he said reasonably. "Couples don't just hold hands. They sit close. They touch. They..." He paused, his eyes glinting with amusement. "They kiss occasionally."
"KISS?!" The word came out as a strangled shriek. "You want me to kiss you?!"
"I mean, not right now necessarily—"
“Oh, you’re barking mad if you think I will kiss you!”
"Come on, y/n. It's just a bit of acting. Surely a clever girl like you can manage that?" His voice dropped, turning silky and persuasive.
You bristled slightly at the blatant flattery even as some traitorous part of you warmed at the compliment. "And what's in it for me? Besides the joy of being glared at by every girl in this castle and kissing your dumb face?"
"The fact that I won’t tell McGonagall about your little friend’s nocturnal escapade isn’t enough for you?” he reminded you.
You froze, shoulders tensing. "You're really going to hold me to that? For something this insane?"
"A deal's a deal. I helped you and nowI need your help."
"I don't know," you said slowly. "This is...it's a lot to ask."
"I know." He took another step closer, his eyes intent on yours. "But I'm asking anyway. I need your help, y/n. Please."
You had agreed to this. You had shaken his hand, accepted his help, promised him a favor. And now he was calling it in.
"This is blackmail," you said weakly.
"It's really not."
You stared at him, at his stupidly handsome face and his infuriating certainty, and felt the trap closing around you. You still could refuse, tell him to shove his favor and walk away. But then he could—would—tell McGonagall about Jo. And Jo would be expelled. And it would be all your fault.
"Fuck," you groaned.
"Is that a yes then? he said.
You truly hated everything about this.
Still, you heard yourself say, "Two months. That's it. And we need to set ground rules, boundaries. I'm not going to do anything that makes me uncomfortable."
Relief flashed across his face, there and gone so quickly you might have imagined it. "Okay, that’s fair."
"And when it's over, we go back to normal. No hard feelings. We just... end it and move on."
"Agreed." He held out a hand, his eyes never leaving yours. "So. Do we have a deal?"
You hesitated for a long moment, your heart pounding so hard you were certain he must be able to hear it. This was, without question, the most insane thing you had ever considered doing. It was reckless and impulsive and had the potential to blow up in your face in a truly spectacular fashion.
But looking up into Jaemin's eyes, seeing something that might have been hope or desperation or both, you found yourself reaching out and taking his hand anyway.
"Deal," you said, and sealed your fate for the second time in a week.
"Excellent." His smile was pure satisfaction. "I'll pick you up for breakfast tomorrow. Try to look a little pleased to see me and not like you want to murder me."
"I make no promises," you muttered.
As you walked back toward the castle, your mind whirling with the absolute insanity of what you'd just agreed to, one thought kept circling back:
Na Jaemin, Slytherin prince and general menace to your sanity, wanted you to be his fake girlfriend.
Jo was never going to believe this.
A waking nightmare—that was the only way to describe the days following the grand revelation of your supposed relationship.
It felt as though Hogwarts had contracted a plague, a virulent strain of "Y/N-and-Jaemin" fever that consumed everyone from the dungeons to the astronomy tower. No one could quite wrap their heads around the unlikely pairing of a Gryffindor nobody and the Slytherin prince, and that confusion turned into a collective obsession.
Everywhere you went, eyes followed. First-years openly gawked as you passed. Third-years whispered behind their hands, their eyes following your every move with ravenous curiosity. Even the portraits seemed more interested in your comings and goings, their painted heads swiveling to track your progress through the corridors.
Horrible as the attention was, the rumors were worse. Wild, baseless theories seemed to spawn from thin air, multiplying with the rapid, disgusting speed of Horklumps in a garden.
“They've been secretly dating since third year,” one voice hissed in the corridor, “before he was even popular, I heard.”
The theories only grew more ridiculous from there. According to a Ravenclaw, you had saved his life during a Quidditch match—or perhaps from a rogue curse. One Hufflepuff swore on her life she’d seen the two of you kissing in the Astronomy Tower a year ago. Most sinister of all were the whispers of blackmail or pranks, culminating in the one theory that nearly made you choke on your pumpkin juice: “Oh Merlin, do you think she’s pregnant?”
The attention was suffocating, oppressive, like being trapped in a greenhouse in the middle of summer with no windows and too many people pressing their faces against the glass. You couldn't breathe without someone noting it, vouldn't eat without a dozen pairs of eyes watching every bite, and couldn't so much as sneeze without someone speculating about whether Jaemin would find it endearing.
And as if the whole thing wasn’t a nightmare already, there was Jaemin himself. Whatever level of insufferable he had occupied before was nothing compared to this new persona: the devoted boyfriend that was attentive, affectionate, and clearly determined to make the charade as mortifying as humanly possible.
He'd materialize at your elbow between classes, his arrival heralded by the subtle scent of broom polish that never quite left his robes and that you were beginning to recognize with Pavlovian dread. He'd fall into step beside you with that athletic grace of his, his hand finding the small of your back with proprietary confidence.
“There you are,” he’d say, his voice carrying an affected breathlessness as if he’d been searching the entire castle rather than simply memorizing your schedule. “I was looking for you.”
“Were you,” came your flat reply, as you struggled to ignore the sudden weight of a hundred curious stares pinning you to the spot.
“Mm.” Without an ounce of hesitation, his hand would slide around your waist, hauling you firmly against his side. “Missed you in Charms. You disappeared before I could catch you.”
“I was in a rush,” you’d mutter, omitting the fact that the rush was specifically to escape him.
“I know.” His smile would be warm and intimate, a masterpiece of conviction. “Let’s walk together next time. I can’t stand being away from my princess for too long.”
A collective swoon would ripple through the nearby students at the display.
Mealtimes offered no reprieve. He'd bypass his usual spot at the Slytherin table entirely, crossing the Great Hall with long strides to slide onto the bench beside you at Gryffindor. The first time he'd done it, the entire Hall had gone silent, hundreds of heads swiveling to watch as Na Jaemin—too cool for cross-house fraternization—planted himself among the lions.
“Morning, princess,” he’d announce, his voice projecting just far enough for half the table to catch. A casual kiss to your temple followed, delivered with such affection that you nearly lost your balance on the bench.
A sharp kick from Jo connected with your shin under the table. Smile, her wide-eyed expression screamed. You’re supposed to be in love with him, remember?
Obediently, you’d attempt a smile. Though it likely looked more like a pained grimace, Jaemin seemed satisfied enough. His arm draped across your shoulders as he reached for the orange juice, acting as if this were the most natural routine in the world.
Every meal followed the same suffocating pattern. He was always there, a solid line of warmth pressed against your side. Beneath the table, his thigh would brush against yours, making you hyperaware of his every shift. Often, his hand would rest on your knee, his thumb tracing absent patterns that felt far too intimate for public consumtion. Occasionally he’d lean in, murmuring something pointless like “Pass the salt” or “Your hair looks nice today” into your ear—but to the rest of the room, it looked like he was whispering sweet nothings.
The Great Hall devoured every crumb of the spectacle.
But while the general student body watched with wide-eyed fascination, you were forced to contend with a far more dangerous audience: the inner circle.
Jaemin’s friends were not merely students; they were the closest thing Hogwarts had to a royal court. To exist within the castle walls was to know them by reputation—a collection of wealthy, beautiful purebloods who navigated the drafty corridors with the effortless entitlement of aristocrats. Yet, observing them from the safety of the Gryffindor table was entirely different from being the direct target of their scrutiny.
Giselle led the first offensive.
She didn't walk so much as glide, approaching the Gryffindor table like an elegant snake. Everything about her was designed to intimidate, from the lethal sharpness of her cheekbones to the glossy waves of hair that fell perfectly down her back. Even her uniform defied the rules; her tie was knotted into an oversized, rebellious bow that no prefect would ever have the courage to cite as a dress-code violation.
“Jaemin,” she purred, ignoring your existence entirely as she draped herself against the table. “We’ve missed you at breakfast. The Slytherin table is positively bereft without your presence.”
“I’m sure you’re all managing,” Jaemin replied, his tone conversational and mild. He didn't move his arm from its proprietary position across your shoulders.
“Barely.” Only then did her eyes slide toward you in a slow, assessing sweep that made you feel like a piece of furniture being appraised for auction. “And this must be the famous girlfriend. Y/N, was it?”
“Yes,” you managed, forced to swallow against the sudden dryness in your throat to keep your voice from cracking.
“Mm.” Her smile was sharp enough to cut glass. “How… unexpected. I don’t think we’ve ever spoken before, have we? What house are you in again?”
The question was a blatant insult, considering you were currently sitting at the Gryffindor table draped in scarlet and gold.
“Gryffindor,” you ground out through gritted teeth.
“Oh, right. Of course.” She paused to examine her dark green nails. “I always have trouble keeping track of the… quieter students. You must be one of those studious types. The ones who hide in the library all day.”
Boring. Forgettable. Beneath notice. The implication was clear. Beside you, Jo’s hand whitened as her grip tightened around her fork.
“I suppose so,” you said, choosing caution over a confrontation you weren't prepared to win.
“Cute.” Giselle’s smile widened, though it never reached her eyes. “Jaemin’s never been much for books, have you, Jaem? More of a... social creature. Though I’m sure you two have found something in common to keep things interesting.”
Beside you, Jaemin remained a statue of calm, taking a slow sip of his tea as if he were watching a particularly dull play rather than a verbal execution.
The pressure didn't let up as the days went on. A few days later, Changmin intercepted the two of you in the crowded corridor between Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. Towering and broad-shouldered, he possessed the rugged, athletic build of a seasoned Beater. He didn't need words to dominate the space; his presence alone caused younger students to scatter like leaves. When he looked at you, his smile was so predatory and sharp it made you think of a wolf finally closing in on a scent it had been tracking for miles.
"So this is her," Changmin said, his eyes traveling over you with clinical detachment. "Have to say, mate, when you said you were seeing someone, I pictured… I don't know. Someone different."
Jaemin’s voice remained light, though his eyes turned piercing. "What do you mean?"
"Just… different." A shrug followed, along with a dismissive flick of his gaze. "No offense, of course."
"Of course," you echoed through a tight jaw.
"It’s just surprising, is all." Changmin gestured vaguely with one hand. "You’ve always gone for a certain type, and she’s… well, not that."
Not pretty enough, you knew he meant.
Jaemin’s arm hooked around you, pulling you into his side. "She’s exactly my type," he countered. "Perfect, actually."
His words were meant to be reassuring but they'd just made you feel more like a prop in whatever game he was playing.
A shift in strategy occurred by the following week. The subtle snubs evolved into a coordinated siege as Changmin and Giselle began appearing together, a united front of immaculate hair, expensive robes, and thinly veiled hostility.
They seemed to materialize in every common space you frequented, armed with false smiles and poisonous pleasantries. Every interaction was a minefield; every question was a calculated probe designed to expose the fraying seams in your story.
Their interrogation didn't stop at the legitimacy of your relationship. They began taking aim at the very fabric of your life... Quite literally.
"Those robes," Giselle remarked during a chance encounter in the corridor, her eyes sweeping over your silhouette with a look of practiced pity. "Are they... vintage? They have that distinctive, worn quality. That 'hand-me-down' aesthetic."
The fabric felt suddenly heavy and scratchy against your skin. They had been your mother's, mended with care and kept clean through sheer effort, but they lacked the shimmer of new silk. Heat flooded your face, a hot prickle of shame you hated yourself for feeling.
"They're fine," you muttered, clutching your books tighter to your chest.
"Oh, I'm sure they're perfectly serviceable," she added, her voice dripping with artificial sweetness. "Not everyone has the luxury of replacing their wardrobe every season, after all."
Changmin leaned across the table, his expression open and conversational, though his eyes remained predatory.
"So, what does your father do for work?" he asked, swirling the pumpkin juice in his goblet as if it were a fine vintage. "My father sits on the Wizengamot, of course. And Giselle’s family runs one of the largest potions corporations in Europe. It's always so interesting to hear what other families do."
"He works for the Ministry," you said shortly, keeping your eyes fixed on your plate.
"Oh? How prestigious. Which department? International Magical Cooperation? The Auror Office?"
"Magical Maintenance."
The silence that followed was heavy enough to suffocate. You didn't need to look up to feel the shockwave of silent communication passing between them. You could practically hear the click of the mental locks falling into place: the suppressed smirks, the shared glances, and the smug, knowing silence that broadcast exactly what they thought of your family’s status. You weren't just the 'wrong type' for Jaemin; in their eyes, you were a glitch in the social order.
"Very honest work, I’m sure," Giselle added finally, her voice carrying just enough to be heard at the neighboring tables. "Someone has to keep the toilets functioning."
Jo who'd been next to you the whole time, bolted upright, her face flushed a dangerous shade of scarlet. You moved instinctively, grabbing her arm and hauling her back into her seat before she could cause a scene.
The real ambush, however, didn't come until Friday evening.
You'd been in the library trying to calculate the magical decay of a complex curse for your Arithmancy assignment. Beside you, Jaemin had been hovering for the better part of an hour, his presence a persistent distraction.
"If you carry the nine there," he whispered, his long finger hovering over your string of equations, "doesn't the probability of a backfire increase by 12%?"
"No, Jaemin," you huffed, rubbing your temples where a dull ache was beginning to bloom. "This isn't Divination. You cannot simply guess your way through Arithmancy. Seven is a powerful magical prime, but in an inverted sequence, its weight is halved. I am trying to ensure you don't accidentally liquefy your own bones during the NEWTs."
"Right, right. Half the weight, double the trouble," he murmured. He wasn't even pretending to look at the numbers anymore; his gaze was fixed on the way you were biting your lip in concentration. "Explain the Pythagorean bridge to me again? That was very sexy."
A sharp retort about his lack of focus was halfway up your throat when the shadows fell over the table.
Giselle and Changmin. They were flanked by Sungchan, another Quidditch type you vaguely recognized, and a fourth person whose presence made the air leave your lungs in a rush.
Yuna.
She stood there, ice-blonde and perfectly beautiful. You felt Jaemin’s posture stiffen beside you. You hadn't known. He’d never mentioned she was part of his circle, that she was this close to the people he spent every waking hour with. The "fake" part of your relationship suddenly felt dangerously flimsy.
"Study date?" Giselle asked, sliding into the seat directly across from you. "I’m sorry, is that a textbook, Jaemin? I thought you used those as coasters."
Jaemin didn't look up from your parchment. "We're just working."
"It’s Friday night," Sungchan cut in, leaning heavily against a nearby bookshelf. "The guys are sneaking kegs of firewhisky into the common room as we speak. There’s a party starting in ten minutes, mate. We’ve been looking for you for an hour."
Yuna stepped forward, her dark eyes narrowing as she focused on you for the first time.
"Y/N, right?" she said, her voice a soft, melodic contrast to the tension. "What exactly have you done to him? Jaemin hasn't missed a Friday night since third year. And yet, here he is, looking at... what is that? Arithmancy?"
"It’s important for the exams," you said, your voice sounding steadier than you felt. "And he's actually quite good at it when he tries."
A snort of pure skepticism escaped Yuna. "Since when is calculating the weight of a hex more entertaining than a party?"
"Since I realized I was failing," Jaemin interjected smoothly, reaching out to lace his fingers with yours atop the table. You knew it was a calculated move, a public display for the one person who mattered. "Y/N pointed out that if I don't pass the Arithmancy boards, I won't be able to take the advanced Theo-Magic track next year. She's very persuasive when she wants to be."
"Persuasive, huh?" Giselle repeated, though her eyes flicked toward Yuna to gauge her reaction. “I can only imagine the things she can do, if she’s managed to make you skip every single party since you started dating.”
Giselle’s implication was blatant, dripping with enough tawdry subtext to make your cheeks flame. You looked at Jaemin, waiting for him to shred her with his notorious silver tongue. Instead, he remained maddeningly static. Only the slight tightening of his jaw betrayed his irritation.
“Did you know there’s actually a betting pool regarding how long youll two last?” Yuna asked, her tone conversational, as if she were discussing the Quidditch scores than your social execution. “The smart money says two weeks. That is, if the novelty doesn’t wear off by Tuesday.”
The news hit your stomach with a cold, hollow thud. “There’s a what?”
“Don’t look so scandalized.” she waved a hand, her emerald ring catching the light. “It’s nothing personal, darling. People adore a spectacle, and this is a bewildering one. Jaemin has spent years as the prize everyone was chasing, and then he suddenly chooses...”
She trailed off. Her silence was more eloquent than any insult.
"The weird girl who hides in corners," Sungchan supplied helpfully. "No offense."
"Loads taken," you snapped before you could stop yourself.
“So defensive.” Yuna chuckled cruelly.
“That’s enough,” Jaemin said. His voice lost its playful lilt, replaced by a low edge. It was the sound of a predator deciding a conversation had reached its conclusion.
“We’re just teasing, Jaem. Don’t be so sensitive.” Giselle stood, smoothing her robes. “If Y/N is going to be part of our inner circle, she’ll need a thicker skin. We aren't known for our gentleness.”
“I am dating Jaemin,” you said, your voice finally steady. “Not applying to be your friend.”
The temperature at the table dropped approximately ten degrees.
“Well,” Yuna said, her delicate features arranging themselves into an expression of theatrical, wide-eyed surprise. “It seems the little bird has claws after all."
They had successfully poked at the seams of your composure and were now departing before the scene became truly messy.
"A little parting advice, Y/N," Giselle said, pausing as she turned. "The more defensive you become, the more it appears as though you’re hiding something. And in this school, secrets are the only currency that matters."
Then they were gone. The only sound left was the rustle of their expensive robes fading into the library stacks. You sat there, shaking, while Jaemin’s fingers remained locked with yours.
“They’re foul,” you muttered, the sharp thud of your textbook echoing too loudly against the mahogany table. “Your friends are actually vipers, Jaemin.”
“I know.” His reply was flat, lacking any of the heat you were looking for. “Look, I’m sorry.”
“Are you?” You yanked your hand away from his, suddenly angry at him. “Because you just sat there like a statue. You let them say all that, and you didn't even blink.”
“And what did you want me to do? Start a row in the middle of the library?”
“Oh, I don’t know—maybe defend me!” The words burst out, earning a sharp, hawk-like “Shh!” from Madam Pince.
You leaned in, dropping your voice to a fierce whisper. “Tell them they’re being cruel. Tell them to sod off! But you just sat there looking like you were enjoying the show.”
Jaemin didn't answer right away. He leaned back in his chair, the wood creaking as he studied you with those dark, unreadable eyes.
“If I get too defensive, they’ll know something’s up,” he said eventually. “You heard Giselle, she's looking for a reaction. That’s what they’re all doing. They're looking for proof that we’re lying. The more I protest, the more suspicious they get.”
“So I’m just supposed to sit there and take it?” You felt a hot sting behind your eyes and hated yourself for it. “I have to let them slag me off and talk rubbish about my family, all to keep your precious cover story alive?”
“Just for a bit,” he insisted. “Once they’re convinced it’s real, they’ll back off. But right now, they’re testing us. They’re testing you. And if we want this to work, you have to pass.”
“I’m trying to pass the bloody test!” you hissed, your voice rising again.
“Trying, yeah.” He leaned forward, his shadow falling over your parchment. “But you’re not being very convincing, Y/N.”
Your face flushed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you always look uncomfortable.” He ran a hand through his hair, his composure finally fraying. “You look miserable, Y/N. Constantly. Like being near me is a form of torture.”
“Well, it isn’t exactly a holiday,” you shot back.
“I know this isn’t ideal,” he continued, ignoring the jab. “I know you didn't want this. But we made a deal, and if you keep acting like I’m a Dementor every time I come within a foot of you, no one is going to believe this.”
“So what? You want me to swoon? Hang off your arm like a mindless doll?”
“I want you to look like you can at least tolerate me,” he cut in, his tone sharpening. “I want you to stop flinching when I hold your hand. Lean into me instead of going rigid as a board. Smile, Y/N. A real one, not that grimace you do when people are watching.”
“That’s the best I can do.”
“Well, your best isn’t good enough.” He looked at the library door, then back at you. “Giselle asked me why you’re so tense all the time. I told her you were shy about public affection, but that excuse only works for so long.”
You stared at him, your chest tight with a cocktail of fury.
“Maybe you should’ve picked someone who actually wanted to be your girlfriend.”
“I picked you because I thought you were smart enough to pull this off, but if you can't... ” He trailed off, shaking his head. "If you can’t even manage to stay in the same room as me without looking like you’d rather be drowning in the lake, the whole thing falls apart.”
"So will you be satisfied if I start kissing the floor you walk on? " you asked bitterly.
“It’d be a start,” he said simply. “Look, I know they’re awful. But you need to try harder. Stop pulling away. Stop acting like my touch is burning you.”
“It is burning me,” you muttered. You didn't mean to say it out loud, and you immediately wished you could swallow the words back down.
Jaemin’s eyes widened slightly. “What?”
“Nothing.” You stood up abruptly, gathering your things with fumbling hands. “Forget it. I’ll try harder, alright? I’ll be more convincing. I’ll smile and lean in and act like I’m absolutely mad about you. Is that what you want?”
“Y/N, wait—”
“I’m going back to the common room.” You slung your bag over your shoulder, refusing to look at him. “I’ll see you at breakfast. I’ll be sure to put on a proper show.”
“That’s not what I—”
But you didn’t stay to hear the rest. You turned and walked away, your vision blurring slightly as you navigated between the towering bookshelves, Madam Pince's disapproving glare following you all the way to the exit.
Behind you, you heard Jaemin sigh, but he didn’t call after you.
Just as well. You needed to be anywhere but near him.
Expectations of a smooth public performance next morning were shattered the moment Jaemin actually appeared. You had braced yourself for the usual, the effortless slide onto the bench, the heavy weight of his arm claiming your space, and that charming attitude that suggested your library row had been nothing more than a minor blip.
Instead, the Jaemin who approached the table looked like he’d gone several rounds with a rogue Bludger. His tie was a shambles, hanging loose around his collar, and his hair was a chaotic nest of blonde strands as if he’d spent the early hours of the morning dragging his hands through it in frustration. He didn't sit, but lingered at the edge of the bench with a strange, jittery energy.
"Can we talk?"
The question was a mere breath under the noise of clattering plates and the morning owl post.
You looked back down at your porridge. "About what?"
"Yesterday." He sounded nervous, not the polished Pureblood prince, but a boy who was genuinely out of his depth. "Please?"
Jo delivered a sharp kick to your shin under the table. Why did she keep doing that?! You winced, the sting jolting you out of your stubborn trance. Against your better judgment, you found yourself nodding.
"Fine. Where?"
"Third floor. The corridor by the one-eyed witch statue." He checked his watch, his fingers drumming a frantic rhythm against the wood of the table. "Ten o'clock?"
"That’s oddly specific," you muttered, finally meeting his eyes.
"Just—trust me on this. Please?"
There was that word again. Please. It was a far cry from the boy who had told you your best wasn't good enough yesterday. And because you were apparently a glutton for punishment, you felt your resolve crumble.
"Ten o'clock," you agreed.
He didn't offer a smirk or a wink for the benefit of the watching Great Hall. He simply gave a tight nod and sat down, keeping a conspicuous gap between your shoulder and his.
Stone walls and guttering torches made the third floor just as drab as the rest of the castle. A few portraits dozed in their frames, and the statue of the one-eyed witch stood sentinel at the far end, her painted eyes seeming to follow your every move with an almost unsettling intensity.
Five minutes of waiting had already passed, which was roughly four minutes and fifty seconds longer than it took to start feeling like a total idiot.
Just as the urge to bolt back to the safety of the common room became overwhelming, the rhythmic scuff of boots echoed against the flagstones. Jaemin rounded the corner, his usual swagger replaced by a stiff gait. You drew a breath, ready to tell him exactly where he could shove this clandestine little meeting, but he hoisted a hand to silence you.
"Before you lay into me," he started, coming to a halt just out of arm’s reach, "I want to apologize. Properly. For yesterday."
The anger you’d been carefully stoking for the last twelve hours flickered and died, leaving you feeling strangely hollow. "Oh."
"I was frustrated, and I took it out on you. It wasn't fair, and it wasn't right." He dragged a hand through his hair, a sign of genuine nerves that made him more like a tired teenager. "You’re right. This situation is mental. My friends are absolute vultures, and I’ve been asking you to stand in the middle of the pack without giving you a single bit of support."
"I mean... yeah." You leaned against the cold stone wall, trying to hide how much that small bit of validation actually mattered. "That has been the arrangement so far, hasn't it?"
"Well, it’s a rubbish arrangement." He stepped into your personal space, his eyes searching yours with an earnestness that felt far too real. "I want to make this bearable for you. But for that to happen, I think we need to... practice."
"Practice?"
"At being comfortable," he explained, as if he were simply suggesting a bit of extra Quidditch drills. "You said my touching burns. Not literally, I hope, but—" He gestured between the two of you. "There’s this tension. This massive wall between us. People can see it, Y/N. It’s written all over you."
"Right. So your grand plan is..."
"Exposure therapy," he said. "We need to get accustomed to one another. And we need to do it without an audience watching your every flinch."
A snort almost escaped you as you processed the sheer absurdity of the suggestion. It felt like a scene ripped straight from one of those tawdry novels Jo kept hidden in her trunk, the ones with titles like The Warlock’s Wicked Whim.
But beneath the embarrassment sat a cold, hard logic you couldn't ignore. Every time his skin brushed yours, your heart panicked. You went rigid, your breath hitched, and your pulse became a frantic drumbeat in your ears. If you could feel that visceral wrongness vibrating through your bones, then vipers like Giselle and Yuna could definitely tell too.
"And you want to do this here?" A wary glance down the drafty corridor followed, half-expecting a gaggle of students to peek around the corner, eager for a glimpse of the castle's most talked-about couple. "What if someone comes by?"
"They won't." Jaemin started walking again, gesturing for you to follow. "That’s the whole point of meeting on this floor."
Confusion was about to mount into another argument when he came to a sudden halt in front of a completely unremarkable stretch of stone wall. Without a word, he began to pace. Back and forth, back and forth, his brow furrowed in a look of intense concentration.
For a moment, you just watched him, convinced that he'd finally cracked under the pressure and that this whole fake relationship scheme had driven him round the bend. You were seconds away from suggesting a firm dose of Calming Draught from Madam Pomfrey when the masonry began to ripple.
Solid stone blurred and shimmered like the surface of the Black Lake under a midday sun. Then, with a low, tectonic grind, an ornate wooden door bled into existence.
Your mouth fell open. You'd heard of this, of course. Read about it in 'Hogwarts: A History'. But reading about something and seeing it happen right in front of your eyes were two very different things.
"The Room of Requirement," you breathed, awe temporarily overriding your general state of irritation.
"The Room of Requirement," Jaemin confirmed, and there was a note of satisfaction in his voice. "I figured if we're going to do this, we should do it somewhere we won't be interrupted."
"Unless you don't want to?" he asked, and there was a carefulness to the question, an unspoken offer of an out. "I know this is... I know it's a lot to ask. But I really think it'll help. I do."
You stared at the door, your mind whirling. This was insane. Completely, utterly, certifiably insane. Practicing feeling comfortable with Na Jaemin in a magical room that appeared out of thin air? This was your life now? This was what your Hogwarts experience had come to?
But what was the alternative? Continue on as you had been, flinching and grimacing your way through this charade until even the most gullible Hufflepuff could see right through you? Let Jaemin's awful friends pick and prod at you until you broke?
No. No, as much as it pained you to admit it, Jaemin was right. If you were going to make it through this with your dignity remotely intact, you had to stop being the weak link. You needed to become a better liar.
And if that meant subjecting yourself to Merlin knows what kind of 'practice' in a secret magic room... well. So be it.
“I swear if this is some kind of prank…”
"It's not." He pushed open the door, warm, inviting light spilling out into the corridor. "I promise."
The moment you crossed the threshold, you felt a strange sensation wash over you. Like stepping into a warm bath after a long, cold day. The room was...not at all what you expected. It was smaller, cozier. There was a plush sofa against one wall, a few cushy armchairs arranged around a low coffee table. The lighting was soft, emanating from no discernible source, and the air smelled faintly of vanilla and old books. It felt safe, somehow. Comforting. Which only served to put you more on edge.
"So," you said, crossing your arms over your chest as the door swung shut behind you with a soft, final-sounding click. "You brought me here to practice. Practice what, exactly?"
Jaemin had the grace to look slightly abashed. "Intimacy."
"I'm sorry, what?”
"Not—not like that," he said quickly, and was that a hint of a flush on his cheeks? Surely not. Na Jaemin didn't get flustered. It must be a trick of the light. "I mean... being close.. and comfortable enough to casually touch each other. You know, the things couples do in public that you keep shying away from."
"You make it sound so simple," you muttered, feeling a blush rise to your own cheeks despite your best efforts.
"It’s not that big of a deal." He gestured to the sofa. "Look, we're going to have to spend the next two months being physically affectionate in front of the entire school. And right now, every time I so much as brush against you, you look like you'd rather be facing a herd of centaurs. So we need to practice. To make it feel normal."
Normal. What a ludicrous concept. There was nothing normal about this. But you bit back the sharp retort on the tip of your tongue. You’d agreed to this madness, and backing out now would only make you look more pathetic.
"Right. So you want me to get used to you pawing at me."
"I do not paw—" He cut himself off, taking a visible breath to steady himself. "I want you to get used to me touching you in a completely respectful, non-pawing way.
You stared at him and he stared back. You could practically hear the seconds ticking by, feel the weight of the impasse settling over the room.
"Fine," you said at last, the word feeling like it was being dragged out of you with fish hooks. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"
His shoulders relaxed, the tension in his jaw easing just a fraction. "Just… come sit with me. We'll start slow."
He settled onto the sofa and patted the cushion beside him. You approached warily, lowering yourself onto the opposite end and putting as much distance between your bodies as physically possible. Jaemin looked at the three-foot chasm of empty space and raised an eyebrow.
"You're going to have to get closer than that."
"This is close."
"You’re barely sitting on the couch."
"Baby steps," you muttered.
"We don't have time for baby steps." But his voice was gentle, coaxing. "Come on. I don't bite."
That remains to be seen, you thought. But despite every instinct screaming at you to run, you scooted closer. Then a bit closer still. You stopped in the middle of the sofa, a foot of space still separating you, but closer than you'd ever voluntarily been to him outside of your mandated public displays.
"Better," Jaemin said, and the soft, approving lilt in his voice sent a traitorous flutter through your stomach. "Now, I'm going to put my arm around you. Like I do at meals. And I want you to try not to tense up. Okay?"
You nodded, not trusting your voice not to shake.
Slowly, broadcasting his movements like he was approaching a skittish animal, he lifted his arm, draping it across the back of the sofa. His hand came to rest on your shoulder, the weight of it startling in its warmth, its solidity.
Instantly, you felt your entire body go rigid, your muscles locking up like you'd been hit with a full body bind curse. Every nerve ending was suddenly alight, hyper-aware of the exact dimensions of his palm, the precise pressure of each individual finger.
"You’re doing it again," he murmured. His voice was much closer than you’d expected. "Tensing up."
"I know," you gritted out. "I’m trying."
"Here." His other hand hovered just shy of your arm, hesitant. "Just breathe. Focus on that."
Breathe. Right. You could manage that.
You sucked in a breath, held it for a count of three, and forced it out. You repeated the cycle until the iron bands of your muscles began to slacken, slowly adjusting to the foreign sensation of him.
"Good," Jaemin whispered. "See? Not so terrible."
"It’s weird," you countered. It was unsettling and entirely too much. "You’re weird. This whole thing is mental."
"Noted." There was a definite streak of amusement in his tone now. "But you aren't flinching. That’s progress."
He was right. The initial shock of the contact was fading, replaced by a strange sort of...not comfort, exactly. Awareness, maybe. You were intensely conscious of the weight of his arm, the warmth of his body seeping into yours, the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed next to you.
The feeling wasn't the searing, blistering heat you'd stupidly mentioned yesterday in a moment of unthinking frustration. But it was a lot. Intimate in a way you weren't at all prepared for, in a way that made your heart thud traitorously against your rib cage.
"Okay," Jaemin said after the silence had stretched out just long enough to teeter on the edge of uncomfortable. "Next step. I'm going to pull you a bit closer. Like I do when we're walking to class."
"Do you really need to narrate every little thing?" You couldn't help the note of exasperation that crept into your voice.
"I'm trying not to spook you."
"I'm not a skittish woodland creature."
"Could've fooled me," he muttered, but there was no real bite to it.
Before you could formulate a properly scathing response, he drew you firmly into his side. Your instinct was to lock up again, but you fought it. This close, the scent of him was overwhelming—clean linen, and a subtle hint of broomstick polish.
It was disorienting. Overwhelming. But...not entirely unpleasant, if you were being honest with yourself. Which you absolutely were not going to be, because that way lay madness.
"Are you okay?" Jaemin asked, and his voice lacked his usual arrogance, sounding instead like he was actually concerned about your boundaries.
For a dizzying second, you wondered if there was more to him than the unflappable, silver-tongued Slytherin. Was this just as strange and unsettling for him? You pushed the thought away immediately. Thinking of Jaemin as a real person with real nerves was a one-way trip to jagged rocks and shark-infested waters. He was a means to an end. A necessary evil.
"It's fine," you said, and if your voice came out a little breathier than usual, a little less steady, well. That was nobody's business but your own. “Not terrible, I suppose."
"High praise, coming from you," he said, and you could hear the smile in his voice, could practically feel the curve of his lips where they brushed against your hair.
You chose to ignore that, focusing instead on keeping your breathing steady and your heartbeat under control.
Time passed, seconds or minutes or hours, you couldn't quite tell. The room had narrowed down to the weight of Jaemin's arm around you, the heat of his body pressed against yours, the soft sounds of your breathing intermingling in the quiet room.
The whole thing was almost peaceful, provided you let yourself forget exactly who he was and why you were here.
“How much longer do we have to do this?” you asked eventually, when the silence and the sensation started to feel like too much.
Jaemin shrugged, the movement jostling you slightly. “Until it feels normal, I guess. Or at least not horribly awkward.”
You let out a long sigh. “We’re going to be here a while, then.”
He laughed, the sound warm and resonant in the small room. “Probably. But look on the bright side—at least the couch is comfortable, right?”
You made a noncommittal noise, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of an agreement.
“Just think,” he continued, a teasing lilt returning to his voice, “a few more of these sessions and we’ll be the most convincing couple Hogwarts has ever seen. We’ll put the real ones to shame.”
“Be still my beating heart,” you deadpanned. “What a glittering future.”
“We’ll practice the basics for now. Then we’ll work our way up.”
“Work our way up to what, exactly?” You regretted the question the moment it left your lips. His arm tightened slightly, and his voice took on a silkier quality.
“Well,” he said, “eventually, we’re going to have to practice kissing.”
You practically launched yourself off the cushions at that. You scrambled to the very edge of the sofa, your heart hammering against your ribs like a trapped bird. The distance between you was back to a yawning three feet in a matter of seconds.
He’d mentioned kissing when he proposed this mad arrangement in the first place but you genuinely thought he’d been trying to ruffle you. The prospect of actually kissing Na Jaemin was so far outside your comfort zone it felt like another planet.
“Absolutely not!” you gasped, your eyes wide with genuine alarm. “Not happening. Not in this lifetime.”
Jaemin stared at you, his arm still draped over the empty space where your shoulder had been a moment ago. He looked startled by your sudden flight, but it only took a second for that lazy amusement to crawl back onto his face.
“It’s going to come up, Y/N,” he said, dropping his arm and leaning back comfortably, as if he hadn't just suggested something world-ending. “Couples kiss. Especially 'new' couples who are supposedly mad about each other. If the first time I kiss you is in front of the entire Great Hall and you look like you’re about to be sick, the game is up.”
“I get it,” you snapped, your face feeling like it was being held over a Bunsen burner. “I get it. But we’re not—I mean, we don’t need to do that. It’s way too much.”
“We don’t have to do it today,” he agreed, his voice surprisingly gentle as he watched you vibrate with nerves at the end of the sofa. “We’ll work up to it slowly. Baby steps, remember?”
“I hate this,” you mumbled, slowly sinking back into the upholstery, though you stayed firmly out of arm's reach.
“I know,” he said, his eyes tracking you with a look that was far too observant for your liking. “But you’re getting much better at pretending you don't.”
The witching hour, that eerie stretch of night when all respectable souls should be tucked safely in their beds, found you instead padding down the darkened corridors of Hogwarts, your dressing gown pulled tight around you and your wand tip illuminating the way.
It was a terrible idea, really, wandering the castle at this hour. You were a prefect, for Merlin's sake. You knew the rules better than most. Out of bed after curfew, risking detention or worse, all for what? A craving for something sweet that couldn't wait until the civilized hours of morning?
But sleep had proven elusive, your mind refusing to quiet, insisting instead on replaying the events of the past week in excruciatingly vivid detail. The practice sessions with Jaemin in the Room of Requirement featured most prominently, of course. The steadily shrinking distance between your bodies, the way his touch was beginning to feel almost... familiar.
You were making progress. Which was precisely the problem.
So now, at an absolutely unreasonable hour, you found yourself seeking solace in the kitchens. If you were going to be awake anyway, you might as well have a biscuit to keep you company.
You reached the portrait of the fruit bowl, tucked away in a corridor no one ever noticed, and tickled the pear. It squirmed and giggled, as it always did, before transforming into a door handle.
The kitchens were a welcome oasis of warmth, the vaulted ceilings echoing with the industrious sounds of house-elves going about their nightly duties—kneading dough for the morning's bread, organizing the pantry, scrubbing the massive cauldrons until they shone. They looked up as you entered, surprise evident on their wrinkled little faces.
"Miss!" squeaked a particularly diminutive elf, hurrying over to you, her tea towel toga flapping about her knees. "Miss should be in bed! Is Miss hungry? Was something not to Miss's liking at dinner?"
"No, no," you assured her quickly, crouching down to her level with a smile. "Dinner was wonderful, as always. I just couldn't sleep and thought a little something sweet might help."
The elf's large eyes widened further, a delighted smile stretching her mouth. "Oh yes, yes! Dipsy can help! We has treacle tart left over from dinner, and chocolate biscuits, and Dipsy can bring fresh cream for Miss's tea—"
"Just a biscuit or two would be lovely," you said. "And maybe a bit of that apple tart, if there's any left? I don't want to make extra work for you."
"Is no work at all!" Dipsy insisted, already scurrying off toward the enormous cooling racks that lined one wall. "Is Dipsy's pleasure to serve! Miss sit, sit! Dipsy will bring tea!"
And so you found yourself perched on a stool at one of the long preparation tables, watching with a mix of amusement and awe as Dipsy and two other elves fluttered about, assembling a plate of biscuits and tart and a pot of fragrant, steaming tea.
"Thank you," you said sincerely as they presented you with your midnight feast. "This is exactly what I needed."
Dipsy beamed, her bat-like ears quivering with pleasure. "Miss is always so kind, so polite! Not like some students, so rude and demanding they is. But Miss is a good student, yes she is!"
You felt a pang at that, remembering all the times you'd seen your classmates treating the house-elves like mere servants. "You work so hard," you told her. "The least I can do is be polite."
The ancient elf in the tea towel toga shuffled up then, setting a small pot of jam next to your plate. "Special raspberry preserves," he croaked. "Made 'em myself. Good for what ails you, they is."
"That's very kind, thank you," you said, touched by the gesture.
You passed the next quarter hour in the warm bustle of the kitchens, savoring your illicit snack while the elves worked around you, peppering you with questions—did you need anything else, what did you think of the new recipe they'd tried at lunch, would you like to take some extra tarts back to your dormitory? It was soothing, the cheerful chatter and clatter, so different from the brooding silence of your room.
By the time you'd drained your teacup and consumed a frankly inadvisable number of biscuits, you were feeling considerably more yourself.
"Thank you," you said again as you rose to leave. "I feel much better."
"Miss is welcome anytime!" Dipsy assured you earnestly. "Dipsy is always here if Miss needs a little pick-me-up!"
You left with a smile and a promise to visit again, slipping back out into the dark and drafty corridor.
It was deserted, as you'd expected. Or so you thought, until a voice emerged from the shadows some twenty feet ahead, stopping you in your tracks.
"Out for a midnight stroll?"
You nearly leapt out of your skin, your wand raised defensively before you'd even fully registered the words. But then a familiar figure stepped into a pool of torchlight, and your racing heart stuttered for an entirely different reason.
Jaemin. Even in the middle of the bloody night, he managed to look put together, his school robes immaculate and his prefect badge gleaming. His hands were tucked casually in his pockets, and there was a glint in his eye that might have been amusement.
"Merlin's beard, Jaemin," you hissed, lowering your wand. "Are you trying to get hexed? You can't just lurk in the dark like some sort of—villain!"
"I'm not lurking, I'm patrolling," he countered. "It's my job to accost students out of bed after hours. Which, need I remind you, you currently are."
"I’m a prefect too," you shot back, though you were painfully aware that your current attire—dressing gown, fluffy slippers, and basically a bird's next on your head—didn’t exactly command authority.
"A prefect who's very much off duty," Jaemin pointed out, his eyes sweeping over you in a way that made you acutely conscious of your bare legs and messy hair. "And wandering the castle at two in the morning, no less."
You crossed your arms, trying to salvage some shred of dignity. "I couldn't sleep. Not that it's any of your business, but if you must know, I was hungry. I went to the kitchens."
"The kitchens," he repeated slowly.
"Yes, the kitchens. You're familiar with the concept, I assume? Big room, lots of elves, food comes from there?"
Jaemin, looking awfully like he was trying not to smile, said again, "You went to the kitchens. At two a.m. In your dressing gown."
You rolled your eyes so hard it hurt a little. "Yes, that's what I just said. Is there an echo here I'm not aware of?"
"Y/n y/l/n, prefect and notorious rule-follower, snuck out of bed and all the way down to the kitchens in the dead of night...for a biscuit?"
"What, like you've never had a late-night snack craving?"
"No, I can't say I have." He was definitely fighting a smile now. "I'm just surprised. I didn't take you for the type."
"Yes, well, there's a lot you don't know about me," you muttered, brushing past him to continue your trek back to Gryffindor tower. To your great chagrin, Jaemin fell into step beside you, long legs eating up the distance effortlessly.
"And here I was thinking I had you all figured out... Now I come to find you have a dark side. Late-night wanderings, clandestine trips to the kitchen...so scandalous. Merlin only knows what other secrets you're hiding behind that prim prefect exterior."
"Oh, yes," you agreed dryly. "I'm a woman of endless mysteries. Careful, Na, or I'll file you away in my mental 'too curious for his own good' cabinet with all my other deep, dark secrets."
It was possibly the most ridiculous thing you'd ever said, made all the more absurd by the fact that you were padding through the halls in slippers, being relentlessly followed by the boy you were supposed to be pretending to date. Who was going to write your biography one day? They'd have a field day with this.
"So why are you lurking about in the dark, anyway?" you asked, feeling the need to shift focus away from your own nocturnal misadventures. "Isn't this usually when you abscond to the grounds to catch hapless rule-breakers?"
"Wasn't in the mood," Jaemin said with a shrug. "Thought I'd switch it up tonight. Catch hapless biscuit thieves instead."
You shot him a withering look. "I'm not a thief. The elves gave me those biscuits fair and square. And anyway, you're one to talk about avoiding the grounds. What, did our last excursion awaken a sudden fear of the dark?"
"Hardly." A pause. "Just wasn't the same without my favorite patrol partner, I suppose."
Your steps faltered a bit at that, and you hoped desperately that the darkness was enough to hide the flush you could feel creeping up your neck. Favorite patrol partner. He had to be mocking you. Nevermind that he'd said it almost...softly. Sincerely, even. A trick of the acoustics in this drafty old castle, no doubt.
“I’m flattered,” you managed, arranging your face into an expression of arch disdain. "Though I think we both know I'm likely the only patrol partner you’ve terrorized on the grounds. Bit of a low bar, as far as favoritism goes."
“I'm grading on a curve," Jaemin said with a smirk. "Bumping you to the head of a class of one."
"How magnanimous of you."
"I'm choosing to take that as a compliment."
A slow shake of the head was the only response you could muster. Between the amusement and the sheer exasperation, it was hard to keep track of your own feelings. This boy. This ridiculous, irritating, unfairly handsome boy. How had your life come to revolve around verbally sparring with him in darkened hallways in the middle of the night?
You'd reached the stairs leading up toward Gryffindor Tower, and you paused at the base, turning to face Jaemin. He was looking at you intently, as if he wanted to say something.
"You've been better this week," he said abruptly.
You blinked, caught off guard by the change in topic. "What?"
"At pretending," he clarified. "You don't flinch anymore when I touch you. That thing you did yesterday, with your hand on my chest when you were laughing at Jo's joke - that was good. Natural."
Heat crept up your neck at the memory. You'd surprised yourself with that gesture, the easy intimacy of it. It had just...happened. No thought, no awkwardness. For a moment, it had felt real.
"Oh," you said eloquently. "Um. Thanks?"
Jaemin nodded. "I can tell the practice is helping. People are buying it. Even Giselle's backed off a bit."
"Only a bit," you muttered. Jaemin's prickly best friend had been keeping a hawkish eye on you. She'd cornered you just yesterday, demanding to know Jaemin's favorite Quidditch team. You'd guessed the Falmouth Falcons, only to be informed with a triumphant sneer that he was actually a die-hard Montrose Magpies supporter, had been since childhood, and really, what kind of girlfriend doesn't know that?
"She's protective," Jaemin said, as if reading your thoughts. "But she's coming around. Slowly."
"Hooray for small mercies," you said dryly.
Jaemin's lips twitched. "Anyway, I didn't just track you down to compliment your acting skills."
"So why did you track me down, then?" You folded your arms, trying to ignore the way your pulse had picked up at his words. "Other than to save me from death by biscuit overindulgence, of course."
"Next weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend," he said.
You nodded slowly. "I'm aware."
"It's also Valentine's Day."
"Oh." You blinked. "Right." Somehow, in the midst of all the fake dating drama and NEWTs prep, you'd completely forgotten about the most romantic day of the year. "That's...a thing."
"A thing we should probably do together," Jaemin said. "I mean, it would look weird if we didn't, wouldn't it? The whole school will be there, all the couples will be out in force..."
Suddenly your hands felt clammy. He was right, of course. If you were really dating, you'd be all over each other on Valentine's Day. Holding hands, sharing butterbeer, probably snogging in some corner of Madam Puddifoot's like every other disgustingly happy couple.
But you weren't really dating. And the thought of upping the ante on this charade you were already barely keeping up with...it made you feel a bit sick.
Jaemin must have seen some of this on your face, because he quickly added, "We don't have to make a big deal of it. Just walk around together, maybe get lunch at the Three Broomsticks. I could buy you some chocolate from Honeydukes, let people see me being a good boyfriend. That's all."
"Right," you said faintly. "Sounds...great."
He studied you for a moment. "I mean, if you had other plans, or if you think it's too much—"
"No," you said, more firmly than you felt. "No, you're right. We should go together. For appearances' sake, if nothing else."
His eyes flickered at your words, a brief shadow passing over them before he straightened up. "Great," he said briskly. "It's a date then."
You took a step back, suddenly desperate for the safety of your dormitory. "I should go. It’s late."
Jaemin nodded. "Get some rest, Y/N. I’ll see you in Potions."
"Can't wait." You started up the stairs, but paused at the landing to look back. "Goodnight, Jaemin."
"Goodnight." He waited a beat, his voice dropping to a low, melodic murmur. "Sweet dreams, baby."
You huffed a laugh to hide your skyrocketing pulse and hurried up the stairs, feeling his gaze on your back until you turned the corner.
Valentine’s Day with Jaemin. It was just another scene in the play. You could handle it.
Right?
But as you climbed the stairs to your bed, you had the sinking feeling that 'sweet' dreams were the last thing you were going to get.
The Hogsmeade trip came around quicker than expected. It had barely stopped raining for weeks, but on Saturday the sun was a weak golden disk behind a scrim of clouds, and every student with even a shred of romantic aspiration was queued up to be let out the gates, Gryffindor and Slytherin and the rest all jostling close, careful to keep up appearances for whatever audience they believed themselves to have.
You, on the other hand, spent the first half of the walk pretending that the clumps of snow along the path were of great zoological interest, then the next half pretending you couldn’t feel Jaemin’s hand cradling your elbow, like you were some frail Victorian damsel and the uneven ground posed a mortal peril.
“This is a bit much, isn’t it?” you muttered, as you reached the crest of the hill and saw the town below.
Every shop window had been transformed into a shrine for Valentine’s Day: Sugar quaffles in the shape of anatomically correct hearts, boxes of chocolates spelled to whisper eternal devotion when opened, bargain bouquets of roses that swatted at you if you tried to walk by without paying them a compliment. Even the cobblestone streets seemed to have been scrubbed up for the occasion, each puddle reflecting a film of pink and red banners strung overhead.
Jaemin grinned at your side, unbothered by the spectacle. “You’re nervous.”
“I’m not nervous,” you insisted, though you eyed the brightly colored display tray warily. “I just don’t want to accidentally eat one of those chocolates that makes you recite poetry. Last time Jo had one, she spoke in haikus for three hours. It was a nightmare.”
“That sounds amazing, actually,” Jaemin said, a devilish glint in his eye. He veered off the main path, his long coat swishing around his ankles as he approached the sugar-dusted worker hawking the tray. “Let’s see if we get Lord Byron or... Byron-but-make-it-sexy.”
“Those are the same thing, Jaemin.”
He snagged two samples before you could protest, pressing a heart-shaped truffle into your gloved palm. The chocolate was dark, dusted with shimmering pink edible glitter. “Go on. What’s the worst that could happen? A little rhyming couplet never killed anyone.”
You rolled your eyes, but the smell of rich cocoa was overpowering your common sense. You took a tentative bite.
The chocolate was velvety, melting instantly over your tongue with notes of dark cherry and espresso. For a second, you thought you were safe. Then, a strange warmth bloomed in your diaphragm. It wasn't the heat of the candy, but more like a physical compulsion, like a marionette string tugging at your vocal cords.
Your lips parted against your will. You tried to say ‘It’s good,’ but your voice, suddenly projecting with a nasal, theatrical vibrato that echoed off the cobblestones, intoned:
“Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove!”
Jaemin doubled over, nearly dropping his own sweet, his laughter bright and loud in the crisp air. “Oh, brilliant! Shakespeare it is! Give it some more feeling, come on!”
“Shut up!” you tried to hiss, but the magic ignored your intent completely. Instead, you threw a dramatic hand over your heart, your eyes fluttering shut as you bellowed, “O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken!”
You slapped a hand over your mouth, mortified, as a group of Ravenclaws walked by, giggling. The spell finally sputtered out, leaving you breathless and flushed.
“I hate you,” you mumbled into your palm, though the lingering taste of cherry was admittedly delicious. You looked up at him, realizing something didn’t add up. “Wait. How do you even know that was Shakespeare? Or who Lord Byron is?”
Jaemin finally straightened up, wiping a tear of mirth from the corner of his eye. He popped his own truffle into his mouth, looking entirely unbothered.
“We have a library at the Manor that rivals the one at Hogwarts,” he said casually, chewing with a thoughtful expression. “My parents… well, they’re traditionalists, obviously. But my mother has always insisted that a true wizarding education is incomplete without understanding the ‘arts of the common man.’”
He swallowed, and for a second, his eyes went wide. You braced yourself for a poem, but he just cleared his throat and smirked. A dud candy. Typical luck.
“She thinks Muggles are tragically fascinating,” he continued, offering you his arm. “She insisted I read the classics. ‘If you are to rule the world, son, or simply live in it, you must understand how the other half feels.’ Or something like that.”
You stared at him in slight awe. You had never really considered that wizards from old, sacred twenty-eight families cared much about the Muggle world, other than to look down on it. As a half-blood who spent most of your childhood navigating the regular world and reading paperbacks, you assumed Jaemin’s world was entirely insulated.
“I’m just glad they’re using good material this year,” he finished, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Sonnet 116? ‘It is the star to every wandering bark’? Very romantic choice, Y/N. Is there something you’re trying to tell me?”
You tried to glare at him, to maintain your annoyance at being made a public spectacle, but his smile was so wide, so full of genuine delight, that your irritation evaporated like breath on glass.
“I’m telling you that you’re paying for these sweets,” you said, linking your arm through his.
“Fair enough,” he hummed. “Where to next?
Before you could answer, a shrill voice cut through the chatter of the crowd. "Jaemin! Yoo-hoo, over here!"
You turned to see Yuna Bae waving at you from the doorway of Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. She was resplendent in robes of pale pink, her dark hair arranged in perfect curls. Beside her, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else, was a Ravenclaw you recognized from your Charms class. Taehyun, you thought his name was.
Jaemin's grip on your arm tightened imperceptibly. "Yuna," he said, his smile never wavering. "Fancy seeing you here."
"Oh, you know me," Yuna trilled, her eyes raking over you dismissively. "I never miss a Hogsmeade weekend. Taehyun was just treating me to tea. Why don't you join us? I'm sure we could squeeze you in."
The way she said that made it clear she was referring solely to Jaemin. You might as well have been a Flobberworm for all the attention she gave you.
“Y/N and I were just heading to Tomes and Scrolls. She’s been telling me about the new research into the Goblin Wars that just arrived and you know I can never resist a good history tome.”
Well, that was a blatant lie. You’d mentioned the book in passing a week ago, but Jaemin would rather drink Bubotuber pus than read a dry history text. Still, you appreciated the save. Yuna’s smile dimmed a fraction, her eyes flicking to the modest storefront of the bookstore as if it were a contagious ward at St. Mungo’s.
“Is this what you’re prioritizing now, Jaemin? This… little excursion into the mundane?”
Her eyes raked over your clothes down to your scuffed shoes. “I’m simply fascinated, Jawm. Your family has spent generations cultivating a certain standard, and you're playing the role of the benevolent saint. Taking pity on the less fortunate is a fine hobby, but surely you’re bored of the charity work by now?”
You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You started to speak, but Jaemin’s voice cut through first.
“Yuna.” The word was a warning, low and dangerous. “Watch yourself.”
“I’m being perfectly transparent,” she snapped, her feline eyes flashing. “It’s embarrassing, Jaemin. People are laughing. They’re wondering how long this little ‘experiment’ has to last before you regain your senses and return to your own kind. You’re a Na. Act like it.”
“I am a Na,” Jaemin said flatly, his arm sliding from your elbow to wrap firmly around your waist, pulling you flush against his side. “And Y/N is my girlfriend. She isn't an experiment, and she isn't someone you get to talk down to. If you can’t show her the respect she’s earned, then you and I have nothing left to discuss.”
Yuna’s jaw tightened, her composure finally cracking into a mask of pure venom. “Earned? She’s a nameless Gryffindor with nothing to her name but a few decent marks and a tragic wardrobe. Don’t think for a second this won't reach your father, Jaemin. He won't be as ‘charmed’ by your rebellion as you are.”
“Send the owl tonight if you like,” Jaemin countered, his voice steady. “Tell him I’m busy.”
Yuna’s eyes flicked to you one last time. “Enjoy your biscuits while you can, darling. The higher you climb, the harder the fall.”
You simply smiled, though your chest was tight with fury.
"Oh, I’ll keep that in mind. Do enjoy your tea, Yuna. I hear the service is wonderfully… swift today.”
As she turned on her heel to sweep into the tea shop, you kept your hands tucked inside your coat pockets, your fingers curling around the smooth wood of your wand. With a sharp, silent flick of your wrist and a jagged thought of Ventus, you sent a precise jinx whistling through the air.
The effect was instantaneous.
Just as Yuna reached for the heavy brass handle of the shop door, an invisible, violent gust of wind caught the hem of her pristine pink robes. They billowed up like a startled peacock’s tail, tangling around her head and blinding her just as she stepped forward.
Thwack.
She walked straight into the doorframe with a dull thud. Her scream of outrage was muffled by her own silk skirts, and as she scrambled to untangle herself, her designer boots skidded on a patch of black ice you’d surreptitiously greased with a bit of Glacius. She performed a frantic, uncoordinated flailing dance that sent her expensive handbag flying into a nearby slush pile.
Taehyun made a strangled noise that was either a cough or a repressed sob of laughter.
Jaemin stood perfectly still beside you, watching as a disheveled Yuna finally managed to shove her way inside the shop, her perfect curls now looking like a bird's nest and her dignity in tatters. He slowly turned his head to look at you, his eyes wide delight.
"Did you just…?"
"The wind in the Highlands is so unpredictable this time of year," you said, keeping your gaze fixed on the shop window as Yuna frantically tried to wipe slush off her bag. "It’s a real hazard for those who aren't used to the climate."
"You're terrifying," Jaemin whispered, a grin breaking across his face. Absolutely terrifying. I love it."
"I told you," you said, finally meeting his gaze with a defiant spark in your eyes. "I'm a woman of endless mysteries. And I really, really hate being called a charity case."
"Fair point," he laughed, steering you away before she could recover enough to look back. "Come on, Shakespeare. Let's check out the books."
Tomes and Scrolls was blessedly quiet, the heavy wooden door acting as a silencer against the bustle of the High Street. You inhaled deeply, loving the smell of aged parchment, beeswax, and the faint, ozone-like spark of old magic trapped in ink. This was your happy place.
You moved instinctively toward the back, trailing your fingers along the spines. Some books hummed under your touch; others, like the Compendium of Common Curses, seemed to shy away.
“There,” you whispered, spotting a thick, midnight-blue spine with silver embossing The Iron Quill: Unfiltered Testimonies of the 1612 Rebellions.
You pulled it from the shelf, cradling it like it was made of glass. “I’ve been waiting for this for months, Jaemin. It’s based on the personal journals of Ug the Unreliable that were found in a sealed vault in Gringotts last summer.”
You opened it to a random page, your eyes lighting up. “Look at the diagrams! Everyone thinks the rebellion started because of the wand-ban, but these letters suggest a secret trade embargo on silver-threaded lace. It could completely rewrite the seventh-year curriculum. If the economic tension preceded the legislative one, it changes the entire motive of the Goblin liaisons!”
You turned a page, your voice gaining speed and volume as the academic thrill took over. “And look at the footnotes! There’s a cross-reference to The Tales of Beedle the Bard that suggests the ‘Warlock’s Hairy Heart’ was actually a coded political allegory for the Minister of Magic at the time. It’s brilliant. It’s... it's...”
You broke off, suddenly aware of the silence. Jaemin wasn't looking at the book. He was leaning against the mahogany shelf, watching you with with interest.
“Sorry,” you mumbled, the heat rushing to your cheeks. You started to close the book. “I’m boring you to death, aren't I? You probably want to go look at the Quidditch supplies or–”
“No,” Jaemin said softly. He stepped closer and reached out, not to take the book, but to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Not at all. I like seeing you like this. Passionate. A little bit nerdy. It’s... it's really cute, Y/N.”
You froze, the heavy tome suddenly feeling very light compared to the way your heart was thudding against your ribs. You looked down, pretending to be intensely interested in a footnote about goblin-wrought armor, trying to ignore the way his thumb lingered near your temple.
“It’s just history,” you whispered, though your pulse was racing fast enough to win a broom race.
“But you love it,” he countered, his voice dropping an octave. “And that’s why I like listening.”
You didn’t quite know what to say to that so you busied yourself with the book, pretending to be engrossed in the table of contents, trying to ignore the way your pulse was racing.
It was just an act, you reminded yourself. A show for the onlookers. Jaemin was a good actor, that was all. There was no real feeling behind his words or his looks.
You lingered by the history section for a moment longer before a small, unassuming sign caught your eye toward the very back of the shop, nestled under a low, sloping ceiling: "Non-Magical Curiosities & Literature."
“Wait,” you said walking towards it. “I didn’t know they kept a Muggle section here.”
Jaemin followed as you navigated the narrowing aisles. This corner of the shop was more cramped, the books bound in plain cloth or faded dust jackets rather than dragon-hide or shimmering silk.
You scanned the titles until your eyes snagged on a familiar, battered spine. You pulled out a well-loved copy of Wuthering Heights.
“Since you’re so well-versed in Byron and Shakespeare,” you said, holding the book out so he could see the cover, “did your mother ever make you read the Brontës?”
Jaemin took the book, his long fingers tracing the silhouette of the moors on the cover. “I don’t think this one made the library list. Is it another tragedy?”
“The best kind of tragedy,” you sighed as you leaned back against the shelf. “It’s about a love so intense it’s practically a curse. Heathcliff and Cathy... they’re terrible for each other, really. They’re vengeful and cruel, but they’re also part of the same soul. There’s this one line—” you paused, closing your eyes for a second to recall the words that had lived in your head since you were twelve. “‘I am Heathcliff. He’s always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being.’”
When you opened your eyes, Jaemin was staring at you with an intensity that made the air in the cramped corner feel suddenly very thin. The playful smirk was gone, replaced by something much more sincere.
“That’s a bit more intense than a Honeydukes poem,” he murmured, his thumb brushing the edge of the pages.
“Muggles don’t have magic to fix their problems,” you explained, feeling a rush of that deep-seated passion again. “They don’t have Amortentia to force a feeling or Cheering Charms to dull a heartbreak. They just have words. They have to build these massive, sweeping worlds of emotion just to explain how it feels to be alive. I think… I think sometimes that’s more powerful than any spell we’re taught.”
Jaemin looked from the book back to you, a small, thoughtful smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You talk about them like they’re the ones with the real power.”
“In a way, they are,” you whispered.
He handed the book back to you, but as your fingers met on the cover, he didn't pull away. “Well, if it’s that good, I suppose I should read it. But only if you promise to highlight the best parts for me. I want to see the world the way you see it.”
His words caught you off guard. You looked down at your joined hands, the scent of old paper and Jaemin’s expensive, woody cologne swirling around you.
“I can do that,” you promised softly.
The afternoon bled away as you drifted from one storefront to the next. It was…nice. More than nice, actually. Despite yourself, you found yourself relaxing and enjoying the banter.
Despite the frantic warnings screaming in the back of your mind, you found the armor around your heart beginning to flake away. You were relaxing, leaning into the sharp cadence of his banter and the way his shoulder occasionally brushed yours
As the sun began to dip towards the horizon, painting the sky in streaks of pink and gold, Jaemin suggested one last stop.
“Three Broomsticks?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a bit cliché?”
Jaemin shrugged, a smile playing about his lips. “It’s tradition, isn’t it? Can’t come to Hogsmeade and not have a Butterbeer.”
He had a point. The warmth of the pub sounded inviting after the chill of the February air. “Lead on, then.”
The place was packed to the brim with students crowding every table, their cheeks flushed from the cold and the Butterbeer. You wove your way through the throng, Jaemin’s hand at the small of your back.
“Y/N! Jaemin! Over here!”
You turned to see Jo waving at you from a table in the back. Beside her, was a handsome boy you vaguely recognized as a seventh year Hufflepuff. Won-something?
“I didn’t know you’d be here!” Jo said as you approached, her eyes bright. “Y/N, this is Wonbin. Wonbin, this is my best friend, Y/N. And her boyfriend, Jaemin.”
Wonbin smiled at you. “Nice to finally meet you, Y/N. Jo’s told me a lot about you.”
“All good things, I hope,” you said, sliding into the seat across from them. Jaemin settled beside you, his thigh pressing against yours under the table.
“Oh, definitely,” Wonbin said, grinning. “Though she did mention something about an incident with a Niffler and a bottle of Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion…”
You groaned, shooting Jo a look. “That was one time! And it wasn’t my fault the Niffler got loose, I maintain that to this day.”
Jo laughed, leaning into Wonbin’s side. They looked so comfortable together, so at ease.
Not for the first time since you arrived at Hogsmeade and finding yourself surrounded by dozens of loving couples, you felt a pang of something that might have been envy. What must it be like, to have that? To not have to question every look, every touch, every flutter of your heart?
You glanced at Jaemin, only to find him already looking at you. His eyes were the color of dark mahogany in the firelight.
If this were a real date, he would lean in. If you were a real girlfriend, you would let him.
The thought of his lips on yours, not as a tactical maneuver to thwart Yuna, but as an answer to the restless, poetic ache that had started in the bookstore, sent a shiver through you that was violent in its intensity. You wondered if his mouth would taste like the dark chocolate he’d eaten earlier, or the butterbear he was having now.
Your heart hammered a frantic rhythm against your ribs, a drumbeat of "what if" that threatened to drown out your common sense. You looked away quickly, grabbing your Butterbeer and taking a long swig to hide the sudden heat in your cheeks.
The conversation kept flowing around you, but you found it hard to concentrate. Everywhere you looked, couples were leaning into each other, hands entwined, heads bent close. All you could hear around you was the sound of laughter and the soft smack of lips meeting in chaste kisses.
Suddenly, your skin itched with a restless sort of energy. You were hyperaware of Jaemin beside you, the solid warmth of him, his hand on yours on the table.
This was supposed to be a date. A fake date, yes, but a date nonetheless. And what did couples do on dates?
They kissed.
The thought was terrifying and… exciting. Kissing Jaemin, how would that feel? Putting your mouth on his mouth in front of all these people.
“Y/N?” Jaemin’s voice was barely audible over the din, but it vibrated through your very bones. He leaned closer, his breath warm against your ear, his scent of cedar and winter air enveloping you. “You’ve gone very quiet. Where did you go?”
You took another gulp of Butterbeer, trying to drown the sudden dryness in your throat. There was no need to get so worked up about it, really. It was all part of the act. Just one more scene to play, one more line to deliver.
You could do this.
Setting your tankard down with a thunk, you turned to Jaemin, determination surging through you. His eyes widened slightly as you leaned in, your hand coming up to rest on his chest.
“Y/N,” he said carefully. “What are you doing?”
“Improvising,” you murmured, and kissed him.
For a moment, he was utterly still beneath your lips. Then, just as you were about to pull away feeling completely humiliated, he came to life, his hand cupping your cheek, his mouth slanting over yours.
It was…Merlin. It was everything. His lips were soft and warm but still demanding, the scrape of his calluses against your skin sending goosebumps down your arms. You melted into him, your fingers curling into the soft wool of his sweater, anchoring yourself lest you float away entirely.
Someone wolf-whistled, probably Jo, and you jerked back to reality, breaking the kiss with a gasp. Jaemin looked as dazed as you felt, his eyes dark, his lips kissed-red.
“Well,” he said, his voice rough. “That was…something.”
“Um… yeah,” you said weakly, trying to catch your breath. “Gotta be convincing, right?”
Jaemin’s pupils were more dilated than before. “Right,” he said. “Of course.”
He turned back to his drink, and you did the same, trying to ignore the way your lips were tingling, the way your heart was doing a complicated tap-dance against your ribs.
That wasn't real, you reminded yourself as you gulped down the rest of your Butterbeer, the alcohol doing little to steady your nerves. None of it was real.
Jo was grinning at you across the table, her eyes knowing. You glared at her, silently daring her to say something. Wisely, she didn’t, but her smile spoke volumes.
As the evening wore on and the empty tankards accumulated, you found your tongue loosening, your inhibitions lowering. The pub seemed overly warm, the laughter too loud, the press of bodies too close. You needed air, needed space. You needed…
“I need to pee,” you announced loudly, lurching to your feet. The room swayed around you, and you grabbed the edge of the table to steady yourself. “I’ll be…I’ll be back.”
You wove your way through the crowd, ignoring Jo’s concerned call of your name and the way Jaemin slightly rose from his seat, his hand outstretched as if to stop you.
You didn’t need his help or anyone’s help. You were fine. You were absolutely, totally fine.
Outside, the night air was a blessed slap of cold. You took in great lungfuls of it. Merlin’s beard, how much had you had to drink? The empty tankards swam before your eyes in a hazy blur. Three? Four? More? It was hard to keep track when the Butterbeer had been so sweet and the pub so warm and Jaemin’s lips so soft against yours…
Oh no. Oh no no no. You’d actually kissed him, right there in front of everyone. What were you thinking?
Well, it didn’t matter now. What mattered was getting away, finding a quiet place where you could think. Somewhere without Jaemin’s eyes on you.
You picked a direction at random and started walking with unsteady steps. The high street was nearly deserted now, the lovebirds gone home to their castles and their common rooms and their cozy little romances.
Leaving you alone with your thoughts and your too-fast heartbeat and the sinking realization that you were, perhaps, a bit drunker than you’d initially thought.
“Y/N!”
You closed your eyes briefly, both thrilled and terrified by the sound of his voice.
“I’m fiiiiine,” you slurred without turning around. “I just need a minute.”
Jaemin caught up to you in two long strides, his face tight with concern as he reached out to steady your swaying frame. "You're completely blasted. Please, just stand still for a second before you fall into a ditch."
"I am not blasted," you informed him with great dignity, though you tripped over your own feet and ended up slumped against his chest. You looked up at him, your eyes unfocused but swimming with a sudden honesty. "You're the one who’s blasted— Blasted with... with your perfect hair and your Byron talk."
“Let’s just get you back first, okay?”
“I can get there by myself, thank you very much.” You slurred, starting to walk in the opposite direction of the castle.
“I’m sure you can. But I'd rather help you get there in one piece.” He said, sliding his arm around your waist and gently veering you in the right direction.
You tried to pull away, a whine building in your throat. “Don’t wanna. M’having fun.”
“I think you’ve had quite enough fun for one night,” he replied, his voice dripping with that dry, aristocratic patience that made you want to kick his shins.
“Are you mad at me…” You said softly after a second. “Because of the kiss? I—I didn’t mean—”
Your eyes smarted. Tears, sudden and hot, pooled and fell freely. You felt mortified and ridiculous and very impervious at once. The laugh you tried to force came out more like a sob.
“M’sorry,” you hiccuped. “What was I thinking? I’m awful.”
He stopped walking and turned to face you. For a moment, he was quietly furious and perhaps even a little bewildered, which made him look achingly human.
“Don’t say that,” he breathed. He did not sound like someone who believed in platitudes. “You’re not awful. You’re just tired and you’ve had too much to drink.”
“M’drunk, not dumb. I know I shouldn’t have kissed you. Jus’ got…got lost in the moment.”
“Let’s just go back to the castle first” he said, his tone brooking no argument. “We can talk about this tomorrow, when you’re sober.”
You sniffled weakly, wiped at your face with the back of your hand, and let him shepherd you back toward the castle.
By the time you reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, you were barely keeping your eyes open, your body growing heavier with each step.
“Password?” the Fat Lady trilled, eyeing Jaemin suspiciously.
You tried to form the word ‘Flibbertigibbet,’ but your tongue felt like a thick piece of wet paper and it came out as something closer to "Flub-a-dub". The Fat Lady, mercifully, just sighed and allowed you access anyway.
“I’ll help you,” Jaemin murmured, his arm tightening around your waist to keep you upright as the portrait swung open.
But as he made to step over the threshold, you planted a hand firmly on his chest.
“You can’t come in,” you said, shaking your head slow and wide.
He raised an elegant eyebrow. “And why’s that?”
“Cause you’re a snake,” you told him seriously. “And the Fat Lady… She doesn’t like snakes. Nope! No snakes ‘llowed in the lion house. S’the rules.”
You dissolved into giggles, finding this logic unbearably funny. The look on Jaemin’s face only made you laugh harder, a snorting, hiccupping thing that had you clutching at the portrait frame for support.
“Right. God forbid I upset the natural order,” he said, a reluctant, lopsided smile finally tugging at his lips.
He reached out, gently tucking a messy strand of hair behind your ear. “I think that’s quite enough out of you. Go on, get to bed.”
You sketched a salute, barely avoiding smacking yourself in the face. “Aye aye, cap’n,”
And with that, you let the portrait swing shut, cutting off the sound of Jaemin’s laughter. You made your way up to your dormitory on unsteady legs, collapsing into bed fully clothed.
As sleep claimed you, dragging you down into dreamless oblivion, one last thought chased itself around your fuzzy brain.
No snakes in the lion’s den. Not even pretty ones with soft lips and warm hands.
It was a good rule, you decided muzzily. A very good rule indeed.
🔮 preview. “The other day, you said I grew some balls and an ego to match,” Wonwoo muses, moving even closer so you can feel his breath against your face. “At least I’m ballsy enough to admit I want you back. Are you too proud to admit you feel the same way?” A grin spreads across his lips as he looks down at you. “Or do you just lack balls?”
tw/cw. Unprotected sex, birth control/STI talk (due diligence), pussy eating, body worship, breast worship, foreplay, dirty talk, praise, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, slightly more soft/dominant Wonwoo, sexual marking, jealously, precariously exhibitionistic longings at an open house, size kink, muscled!Wonwoo, semi imobilization during sex by pinning y/n’s hands, masturbation, dry humping, grinding, sex toy, etc… I pet names: (hers) honey.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 7.7k
🍭 aus. Non idol au, real estate!au, exes to lovers, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. So I’ve always loved reality shows that focus on real estate, and the new season of Owning Manhattan kind of captivated me. I don’t know much about the business, so as is the case with most fanfics, this is probably not an entirely accurate representation of how this job is done. But I thought it would be a really fun environment to test out an ex’s to lovers style fic, which isn’t something I’ve written much of before :) Also, I’m Canadian and have never been to New York so… let’s see how this goes haha
One:
Broker’s Open events can be hectic. It’s a flurry of agents, questions, and people testing your knowledge of the home you’re doing your best to sell. You have to be on your A-Game, but after being in the industry for a few years, you don’t crack easily under pressure.
Everything is going well, and then, while looking around at the crowd of people all chatting in the open plan kitchen, your eyes land on a familiar set of shoulders. Perhaps it’s not the shoulders per se, but the way the man holds himself that you recougnize. His back is to you, but goosebumps erupt on your skin, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up, and when the man turns, you catch his side profile.
The world seems to stop.
You had dated fellow business major Wonwoo throughout university, but upon graduation, you’d followed your passion to the Big Apple, New York, intent on pursuing your dreams of selling real estate. He, in contrast, had stayed on the West Coast. It hadn’t been the best breakup, but you had both been young, and you weren’t going to let a man get in the way of your life goals.
Now here he is, at your Broker’s Open, looking even more handsome than the last time you saw him.
You’d heard he had come to town, seen his name pop up in listings connected to a new and growing real estate agency, and for a year, you’ve been waiting for an interaction like this. But now that you’re finally in the same room as your ex, you can hardly breathe.
Wonwoo’s eyes meet yours, and he flashes a grin, heading toward you through the crowd of agents.
“Long time no see,” your ex says, voice deeper than you remember.
He’s taller than he used to be too, and his shoulders have widened. His clothing has had a major upgrade, and the black duster he’s wearing draped over his pinstripe suit clad shoulders only accentuates how broad he’s become. Everything is well fitted, tailored even, and clearly expensive.
“Yes,” you force yourself to look away, too distracted by the sight of him to think coherently. “I see you finally made it to the big city.”
“And yet, no calls, no texts,” Wonwoo lets out a chuckle. “I know it’s been over five years, but it feels like we’re strangers now.”
“Well, I’m married to my work,” you state, looking at him again and appreciating the way his glasses complement his angular cheekbones, making him look even more regal and handsome.
“So no time for social niceties,” Wonwoo grins.
God, he’s so sexy.
“Not unless you’re a buyer, a seller, a representative, or a prospective client.”
“I guess I’m in luck then, I represent a prospective buyer,” Wonwoo muses. “I ran over the comps, sent a video of this place to my client, and I think we might be able to make a deal here.”
“You have a buyer?” you ask in shock.
Wonwoo’s agency is still very young compared to the old money businesses that run New York. Your company, in contrast, is the number one selling agency in the whole city. The idea that Wonwoo could bring in a buyer at your calibre is unexpected, to say the least.
“I have a buyer,” Wonwoo confirms. Someone brushes by your back, and Wonwoo gently reaches out, his long fingers wrapping around your wrist to pull you closer and away from the people shuffling around behind you.
“Then you need to put in an offer,” you tell him, swallowing the lump in your throat as your heart races in your chest.
Wonwoo leans even closer so you can hear him over the loud chatter of the crowd. “How about we grab some drinks when you finish up here, and run some numbers?” your ex asks smoothly.
“Strictly business?” you retort.
“And pleasure. I don’t see why we can’t mix the two, given our history.”
Heat radiates through you, and it feels like there’s pressure on your chest. This man might look like your ex, but he’s changed in many ways since you last saw him. Aside from the physical growth, his personality has clearly shifted too. He’s a lot more flirty, and there’s an egotistical note in the way he holds himself now.
This is no longer the nerdy gamer you dated in university, the nerdy gamer you broke up with in order to chase your dreams of money, fame, and comfort.
“We can grab drinks after this,” you confirm. “But your buyer better have a good number.”
“I wouldn’t insult you with any low balling, I know your reputation in this city.” Wonwoo releases your wrist. “I still have your number, I’ll text you the spot. Let’s say nine o’clock? You should be done by then.”
“That works,” you confirm.
“It was good to see you.” His hand finds your shoulder, and he gently brushes a piece of your hair away from your collarbone, making your skin tingle from the brief contact. With a final nod, your ex turns and wades into the crowd, leaving you breathless, confused, and too horny to admit.
Two:
You find Wonwoo at a booth in the back corner of a swanky bar in Mid-Town. He’s nursing an Old Fashioned cocktail, and when you sit down, you notice he’d ordered you a drink too.
“What’s this?” you ask.
“Cocktail; fruity, and sweet, just how you like it,” Wonwoo grins teasingly. “Unless your tastes have changed?”
“We’re still talking about drinks here, right?” you question, feeling slightly uncomfortable already.
Your ex’s smile widens. “What else would we be talking about?”
Letting out a deep sigh, you push the drink to the side. “We should be talking business.”
“I’ve got two proposals for you,” Wonwoo says, leaning back against the booth and straightening his shoulders.
“Two?” You cock a brow, curiousity getting the better of you.
“I think you should join SVT Co.”
A laugh escapes you before you can even control yourself. “And why would I do that?”
Wonwoo shrugs. “I think you’d be surprised by the new developments we’ve secured the rights to sell.”
“I’m at the top real estate company in New York, what do you think your CEO could offer me that I don’t already have?”
“The opportunity to grow with us, and outgrow the current restrictive company you’re currently working with. You know, be a big fish in a little pond, that sort of thing.”
You process his words, but find yourself shaking your head anyways. “Proposal two. Talk to me about your buyer.”
“He’s a family man from California, looking for a two bed, two bath in middle Manhattan. Your listing fit the bill, I gave him a tour on Facetime, talked comps and numbers. I told him you’re an amazing agent with many connections, and you’d likely already receive a bid or two at your open house, so I figured we should jump on this. We agreed on a number, and I’m ready to make the offer.”
“Tell me.”
“Asking is five million, considering the high floor, the views, and square footage price relative to the building, he and I came in at four point three, all cash, no contingencies, ready to close in ten days.”
“That’s seven hundred thousand less than asking,” you retort, narrowing your eyes. “Is that the highest he will go?”
“How about you call your guy and we’ll play some ball.”
“And here I thought you said you wouldn’t low ball me,” you tisk, pulling out your phone.
“All cash, no contingencies, ten day close, it sweetens the deal for the number. You want to get this done, don’t you? I know your seller does. The apartment already had a different listing agent for a six month contract and they couldn’t get a deal in, won’t it feel nice for everyone if you get this done on the day of your Broker’s Open?”
You glance at Wonwoo, shocked at how far he’s come since university. For him to talk big business with you like this… to bring you a client and help you both make commission… it’s a nice change, but an unexpected one.
You call the seller you’re representing, holding up a finger to Wonwoo, and relay the information. There’s a small back and forth, you mention a few offers you got at the Broker’s Open which were more around the four million range, and then you put yourself on mute, looking at your ex. “Four point five and we have a deal.”
“Let’s make this happen,” Wonwoo grins, pulling out his own phone to call the buyer.
You listen to the way he discusses things with his client, and you have to admit, Wonwoo has a way with words. He thanks his buyer and hangs up. “Four point five, all cash, no contingencies, ten day close. We have a deal.”
Wonwoo holds out a hand and you shake it, unable to contain the joy you’re feeling at getting this apartment sold so quickly, and the tingles you get from touching him only add to the sensation. “I’ll write up a contract and send it to you.”
Your ex is slow to release your hand, and he lets out a sigh. “I missed you.”
“What?”
“I missed you,” Wonwoo says again. “We broke up because you moved to New York, and now I’m here too. Why don’t we give this a try again?”
“Because things have changed!” you stammer.
“Yeah?” Wonwoo grins and sips his Old Fashioned. “Like what?”
“Well, I mean, for starters, you’re in an Armani suit.”
“You don’t like the suit?” His smile broadens.
“I love the suit, love the suit. But the Wonwoo that I used to know would never wear such high brand luxury. You’ve also clearly grown the balls and ego to match a man who wears Armani.”
Now your ex lets out a laugh, and you hate how beautiful he is.
He opens his mouth to say something, and that’s when you hear someone call Wonwoo’s name.
You turn to find another well dressed man approaching from the bar seating area.
“I thought that was you!” The handsome man smiles.
“Dokyeom, this is y/n, y/n this is Dokyeom,” Wonwoo introduces you, letting out a sigh and reaching for his drink again. It’s clear to you he’s not very satisfied with being interrupted, but his friend seems to not notice, or perhaps ignore your ex’s annoyance.
“y/n as in real estate princess y/n?” Dokyeom gasps. “As in, fastest junior to senior agent in her company’s history?”
“That would be me,” you laugh awkwardly.
“Excuse me,” Wonwoo sighs, standing from the booth and allowing Dokyeom to take his spot.
“I’m guessing you work with Wonwoo at SVT co?” you ask, turning your attention to the bright, bubbly man.
“Beautiful and smart, a deadly combination,” Dokyeom beams. “Yes, I’ve been working with him for about a year now. I didn’t mean to interrupt, were you two doing business?”
“We just made a deal on a two bed two bath,” you nod.
“Congratulations!” Dokyeom is clearly an insanely happy and positive person, and it relaxes you a bit as you begin to talk to him.
But conversation quickly moves in the same direction that your talk with Wonwoo had.
“You should really meet Choi Seungcheol, our CEO,” Dokyeom explains. “I think you would like him a lot.”
“I’m not sure I’m in the market to be poached,” you tease, sipping your drink.
Dokyeom lets out a laugh. “Okay, you got me.” He holds his hands up in mock surrender. “But… I have an open house this weekend you could come to, for business purposes.” He sends you a wink and it makes you chuckle.
You open your mouth to respond but at that moment, Wonwoo returns. “I have to go,” he says curtly. “An agent just got back to me about a twilight viewing, and tonight has pretty clear skies, so now is the time.”
“I understand,” you nod.
Wonwoo pauses for a few seconds, and you’re not sure if he expects you to stand and give him a hug, or if he’s unsure about leaving you with his friend, regardless, he hesitates, and the tension is thick.
“I guess I’ll see you around,” Wonwoo says finally.
“I’m sure you will, and I’ll get the contract to you by midnight.”
Your ex nods, and then, without another word, he leaves.
When he’s out of earshot, Dokyeom lets out a whistle. “So he really wasn’t lying that you two have history.”
“He told you about that?” you ask in shock.
“Not in detail, Wonwoo’s not the talkative type, but he mentioned you know each other, and I guess I put two and two together.”
“It was a long time ago,” you state, grabbing your purse and finishing your drink. “I have to go, but it was nice to meet you.”
“Here.” Dokyeom pulls out a card, writing a few details on the back of it. “This is my information, and I wrote the details for the open house I’m throwing, I hope you can make it.”
“We’ll see.”
Three:
You’re not here to be poached… you’re just at Dokyeom’s open house to view it for clients. Definitely.
And you didn’t dress up extremely well to dazzle Wonwoo or anything, that would be ludicrous. No, you’re dressed nice because this is your job. A hundred and ten percent.
You’re in the kitchen when Dokyeom comes scurrying over, a huge grin on his face. “You came!”
“I’ve got a buyer looking for something like this,” you tell him, trying to remain nonchalant.
“I’ll give you a tour.”
As he begins his tour, he stops at certain sections of the penthouse to point people out to you.
There’s Seungcheol, the extremely handsome yet stern looking CEO with his assistant, Dino, glued to his side. Jeonghan is a senior agent in a deep discussion with two juniors, Seungkwan and Soonyoung, who seem to be at each other’s throats while the eldest watches with a grin. Jun and Minghao are speaking quickly in Chinese to a potential foreign buyer on FaceTime. Woozi and Mingyu are going over comps. Joshua and Vernon are on calls with LA connections.
It’s a lot of names, and too many handsome faces to count, but you can definitely say with certainty, SVT Co is a hotdog fest. A very, very sexy hotdog fest.
You’re more interested in the men than the penthouse you’re here to view, which is something you realize abruptly as the tour comes to a close.
“You should talk to everyone when you get a chance,” Dokyeom smiles. “They will all love you.”
You let out an awkward laugh. “Oh? And why is that?”
“Because you’re gorgeous, and a money maker. We all know your history, the new developments you’ve sold, the commercial spaces, the rentals. Name the niche and you’ve sold it.” Dokyeom’s grin widens. “At the end of the day, it all comes down to the same thing; money, honey. And you make money.”
Your gaze shifts to the door to the penthouse, where Wonwoo has just arrived, and Dokyeom must sense the shift in your expression, because he follows your gaze.
“I guess working with an ex might be the only downside,” he confesses.
“It’s been years,” you say pointedly.
Wonwoo hasn’t only grabbed your attention, you notice the gorgeous man Dokyeom had pointed out as ‘Mingyu’ is approaching your ex.
They chat briefly, and then both of them look over to you. You almost fold under their dual gazes, your core throbbing uncomfortably at the attention.
“Here we go,” you sigh, body tensing with anticipation as both handsome men approach.
“You must be y/n,” Mingyu smiles, holding out a hand. “I’m Kim Mingyu.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” you grin, enjoying the way his palm dwarfs your own.
“I see Dokyeom’s been showing you around, how do you like the place?” Mingyu asks, and you realize he’s just as easy going and prone to light conversation as Dokyeom is.
“I like it a lot, as far as new development penthouses go, I’ve seen better, but based on the price range it’s not bad.”
“Wow, someone is a hard sell,” Mingyu jokes. “Do you and your boyfriend live in something like this?”
You can’t help the laugh that billows out of you. Mingyu had attempted to be nonchalant, but you can see right through him, and it’s clear from the way Dokyeom snickers and Wonwoo coughs awkwardly that you’re not the only one who sees Mingyu’s info fishing for what it is.
“I’m single,” you confirm.
“Really?” Mingyu’s eyes widen. “Sorry, it’s just, you’re a powerhouse in the industry and you’re absolutely gorgeous. I would have thought you’d deal with a lot of rich, powerful clients trying to use having you as an agent to get you out for a drink.”
“I’m sure we’ve all had to fight off those kinds of buyers,” you tease, knowing that with Mingyu’s face, he’s no doubt something like catnip to divorced milf’s looking for a pleasurable way to spend their settlements.
Mingyu opens his mouth to say something but Wonwoo lightly grabs your forearm. “Can I talk to you? Privately?”
The atmosphere immediately shifts, and once again, tension floods between you and your ex.
“Of course.” You gently pull yourself out of Wonwoo’s grasp.
“Follow me,” he instructs.
Wonwoo leads you up the stairs to the second level, taking you to the guest bedroom and into the ensuite, which you think is a little extreme, but he had wanted privacy so you guess him locking the door behind you isn’t fully out of bounds.
“Are you-” you begin to ask, but suddenly Wonwoo pushes you up against the wall, boxing you in with his hands on either side of your head, “Jealous?” the word slips out breathlessly.
Wonwoo scoffs, shaking his head. Then he releases a deep sigh. “When Dokyeom invited you to this, I didn’t think you’d take it as an opportunity to hit on my coworkers.”
“Are you sure I was the one doing the flirting?” you counter. “Mingyu came onto me.”
“And you lapped up the attention.”
“I hate to remind you of this, but I’m single. We aren’t together anymore Wonwoo, so I can do what I want.”
He stares at you, and your skin prickles with the realization of how close he is to you. God, he’s so beautiful, and your heart melts while you look at him.
Wonwoo was never a jealous man, but when you were dating, you never gave him a reason to be.
“So you want to fuck Mingyu then?” he asks.
With the ego has come vulgarity, and you scoff loudly at his words. “No, I don’t want to fuck Mingyu.”
“Could have fooled me.”
“I think you need new glasses.”
The side of his mouth quirks up in a half smirk as he lets out a small chuckle. “Are you having fun toying with me, honey?”
“If I was toying with you, you’d know it,” you retort, confidence surging through you. “For example, I’d do this.” You hook your fingers in his belt, pulling him even closer.
Wonwoo releases a deep groan, his lips just inches from your own.
You stare at each other, fighting your pride over which one of you will finally close the distance between your mouths-
A knock on the door startles you, and Wonwoo pulls away. “We’ll have to finish this another time,” he says curtly. “This is an open house, and we’re both professionals.”
“Yes,” you swallow thickly, fixing your dress and willing your thundering heart to relax. “We are.”
Four:
After your run in with Wonwoo, Seungcheol had caught you on your way out of the open house. He’d asked if you would have time to meet him for a drink, so here you are, getting dolled up to go meet the CEO of SVT co for what you can only imagine will be a business proposal.
He’s asked you to meet at a new development, one of the largest new buildings going up in New York. As far as you know, it’s almost complete, and there has been much discussion within agency circles about who convinced the developer to take on the project.
When you arrive and find Seungcheol waiting for you outside the building, you’re pretty sure you know who landed the deal.
“How are you?” Seungcheol asks, pulling you in for a hug.
God, he’s beefy and smells expensive, but you push the thought from your head as he welcomes you into the new building while you chat pleasantries.
“I think congratulations are in order,” you muse as he guides you to the elevator.
“Maybe numerous congratulations if we both play our cards right,” he smiles.
Your heart thunders in your chest as you reach the penthouse, and your breath catches as you enter. Much of the interior is done, but there’s been no staging yet, other than all the fixtures, the only out of place thing in the penthouse is a bottle of champagne and two glasses on the kitchen counter.
“So, there are four penthouses in all,” Seungcheol explains as he starts to give you a tour, explaining comps, pricing, developer expectations and how ‘this marble was imported from Italy’ and ‘these appliances are top line French,’ and you kind of enjoy how grandiose he is.
“So give me your proposal,” you suggest with a smile when the tour finishes back in the kitchen.
Seungcheol laughs. “You’re straight to the point, I like that.”
He begins to work on the champagne.
“Usually I’d open this after doing a deal, but I think the tour merits a drink,” Seungcheol muses.
“I bet you think it will help butter me up too.”
“Maybe.” He’s so extremely handsome when he smiles, and he pours you a glass of champagne. “So here’s the deal. I want you on my team. Your reputation speaks for itself.”
“Don’t tell me you’re offering me the penthouses.”
“I’m offering you the penthouses,” he confirms. “If you join SVT Co, I will name you manager of getting these units sold. I’ll give you your own team, help with marketing, you name it, I’ll give it to you. The developer wants these sold at around two hundred million a pop, and if you get these sold, it’s enough commission to retire the next day if you wanted to, but something tells me you’re in this game for the long run.”
“You’d be correct about that,” you smirk as you take a sip from your glass.
“When you join SVT Co, you’ll be in charge of everything it takes to get these sold. You represent the developer, and you’ll need to find buyers, but with a building of this calibre, buyers will come to you. So sure, it will be work, but think of it as a signing bonus.”
“I’m intrigued,” you confess. “Won’t your employees be mad you’re bringing a new agent in and giving her the listing of the year?”
Seungcheol shrugs. “I want to grow, and I love my agents, they’re wonderful, but sometimes it takes new blood to get things going into motion.”
“I’ll consider your offer.”
“You’ve got fourty-eight hours to consider it,” Seungcheol tells you, gently clinking his glass against your own.
You’re giddy with the possibilities of taking on this job, and Seungcheol lets you stay to look over the place as he goes to a meeting. You’re checking out the master suite when your phone rings, and you see Wonwoo’s caller ID.
“He offered you the penthouses, didn’t he?”
“No hello, how are you doing? Straight to questions, huh?” you laugh.
“I have Seungcheol’s location, I figured there was only one reason for him to go to the penthouses this late, and I noticed he pulled you aside before you left the open house, it didn’t take much to figure out what was going on,” Wonwoo says smoothly.
“You’re quite the little stalker, aren’t you, Wonwoo?”
“So shoot me, I’m curious.” You hear Wonwoo let out a breath. “Did you accept?”
“I’m thinking about it,” you muse, walking over to the windows to look out at the view of New York.
“Looks like maybe we’ll be working together after all.”
“Would you want me to come work with you?” you question. “You were pretty pissed at the open house when your coworkers were hitting on me.”
“They won’t hit on you anymore.”
“Why not?” you grin.
“Because you’re mine.”
“Really? I don’t remember signing over my rights in the contract I sent over for the apartment.”
“You’re mine because I’m yours, and inequity isn’t in my wheelhouse.”
You can hear him smiling on the other end of the line, and it intrigues you.
“Listen, the reason we broke up was distance,” Wonwoo sighs. “But I came here, to New York, to be close to you again. We could be a powerhouse together. We’ve already done one deal, if you come to SVT Co and we continue to double end things…”
He trails off, but you’re on the same page. The money you could bring in would be huge.
“I’ll tell you what I told Seungcheol,” you say finally. “I’ll think about it.”
“Well, I’ll send you my address if you end up deciding, but I assume Seungcheol gave you a time frame to respond, and I’ll give you the same countdown.”
“Fourty-eight hours it is,” you muse.
“Honey?”
“Yeah?” You hold your breath.
“I look forward to hearing from you.”
Five:
Money and prospects make you horny, so here you are, in bed, your vibrator in your hand as you think about Wonwoo and the future.
Sure, his coworkers and boss are very hot too, but you still have a soft spot for Wonwoo. He was right when he said your breakup was due to distance, but before that, your relationship had been a dream.
You were young then, still in school, nearly broke- but you’ve both grown up since then.
You start to think about Wonwoo in his suits, and you wonder what he looks like with his shirt off now. You press the vibrator harder against your clit, groaning as you consider what his hands will feel like against your body.
He’s gotten more dominant since you were in university, that much is clear. How will that dominance come out in the bedroom?
You rub the toy against your core, but your body isn’t reacting how it normally does. Part of you knows you have access to Wonwoo, that you could call him right now and experience the real thing instead of day dreaming about it, and the thought of real life sex with your ex makes your imagination seem pale in comparison.
With a groan, you sit up, and within fifteen minutes, you’re dressed and getting in an Uber to go to Wonwoo’s apartment.
It takes a bit of courage to ring the dial pad up to him, but a quick “Hey, it’s me” prompts him to hit the buzzer to let you in.
Your heart is racing in the elevator, your palms getting sweaty, and you adjust your dress, making sure your breasts are pushed up. Not that you think you’ll have to entice him like this, but it’s kind of fun to get dressed up to go seduce your ex boyfriend.
He opens the door to his apartment before you even have to knock, and he leans on the frame, grinning while his eyes look you up and down.
“Hi, honey.”
“Hi yourself,” you grin. “Are you going to let me in, or what?”
Wonwoo steps back and waves a hand.
He’s still in work attire, but a more laid back version, just navy blue dress pants and a white buttonup. He’s also without his signature glasses, and without the frames to accentuate his cheekbones, he looks softer. Something about the casual yet sophisticated look makes you feel like drooling as you enter the nice apartment.
“Twenty-four hours,” Wonwoo muses as he closes the door behind you. “I figured you’d take the full fourty-eight to make a decision.”
“I’ve been given two proposals. Join SVT Co, and get back together with you. Who’s to say I’m here to confirm both? What If I’m here to say yes to one and no to the other?” you counter.
“I say,” Wonwoo grins. “I say you’re here to confirm both.”
You set your things down on a chair in the kitchen, removing your jacket and turning to look at Wonwoo who eats you up with his eyes again.
“Or maybe I’m here to rub it in that I’m going to decline both offers,” you smirk.
“Perhaps, but if that were the case, you wouldn’t be giving me your ‘come fuck me’ eyes.” He crosses his arms over his chest and you note his forearms, which are visible with his rolled up sleeves. God, he’s definitely been working out at the gym.
“I don’t have ‘come fuck me’ eyes,” you laugh, but your skin prickles with embarassment.
“No?” Wonwoo walks closer to you, and you back up, allowing him to box you in against the counter with his hands now flat on the tables edge on either side of you.
“No,” you state, but there’s little conviction in your tone.
“The other day, you said I grew some balls and an ego to match,” Wonwoo muses, moving even closer so you can feel his breath against your face. “At least I’m ballsy enough to admit I want you back. Are you too proud to admit you feel the same way?” A grin spreads across his lips as he looks down at you. “Or do you just lack balls?”
You can’t hold yourself back anymore, you grab your face and smash your mouth to his. He kisses you back desperately, his hands finding your hips as he tugs your body flush to his own.
The two of you know each other, and sure, years have passed and things have changed, but he kisses you with just as much fiery desire as he always has, and you move in tandem.
Both of you groan, and Wonwoo’s hands slip down to your ass. He lifts you up, setting you on the kitchen counter. Your thighs spread to welcome him in, your tight dress hiking all the way up to expose your pantie clad core to the man that begins to grind against you while you make out.
Your heart is racing faster than it has in years, and you break the kiss to breathe while Wonwoo’s lips move to your throat. He licks and sucks on your skin, making you shiver with pleasure, and one of his hands slips between your bodies, finding your pussy.
He rubs your clit through your panties and you moan desperately, clinging to his broad shoulders.
“I missed your sounds,” Wonwoo groans in your ear, prompting you to also shove a hand between your bodies so you can cup his hard cock. Now it’s his turn to make a noise of pleasure, and the sound makes you practically vibrate.
“I missed yours too,” you tell him, wiggling your hips to get more stimulus on your clit.
“Fuck this,” Wonwoo cusses, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the kitchen counter. You marvel at his strength, and you cling to him as he carries you to his bedroom where he tosses you onto the bed.
He looks down at you, at your exposed thighs, at the dress scrunched up by your hips.
“I’ve thought about this,” Wonwoo admits, beginning to unbutton his shirt. “About what it would be like when I got to have you again.”
“And?” you grin.
“You look even better than I imagined.”
“I’ll feel better too,” you tease, eyes dipping to his torso as he shrugs off his buttonup. “We’ve both grown, in more ways than one.”
“You can say that again. You never used to be the girl who liked tight dresses, push up bras, and thongs.”
“And you were never the man in a suit pursuing a largely social profession,” you counter.
Wonwoo chuckles, and he joins you on the bed, closing you in as you grab him by the back of his neck and draw his lips to yours again. Your hands quickly begin to explore, tracing each new bulging muscle into your memory.
The kiss becomes heated extremely quickly, and Wonwoo pulls back, both of you breathing hard. He grabs the bottom of your dress and gingerly begins to pull it up and over your head. Both of you wear expensive clothing now, so there’s no tearing or rough tugging, and when he throws it, he aims for the armchair next to the bed.
Then he returns his lips to yours, and you thread your fingers in his hair, tugging gently.
Wonwoo lets out a deep groan, his mouth moving to your throat, and then down to your cleavage. He reaches under you, undoing the clasp of your bra with one hand, and then that too is removed.
Your nipples pebble to the cool air of his apartment, but his hot mouth finds one a moment later, and you both groan deeply.
No man has ever been as into body worship as Wonwoo was when you were together, and you give yourself over to the way he takes his time with you. He massages your neglected breast with a large, warm hand, his thumb teasing the sensitive bud while his mouth continues on the other.
You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second, and you can’t help but wriggle your hips, a silent plea for him to continue the descent that you know is coming.
Wonwoo laughs, pulling away from your breasts to look up at you. “Someone is eager.”
“I need you,” you whimper.
“I’ve waited years to hear you say that again,” Wonwoo groans with pleasure, kissing down your body until he reaches the waistband of your thong. He gingerly tugs it off of you, sinking to the foot of the bed, his knees on the floor as he drags you to the edge.
You’re fully naked now, and it feels so natural to be nude with Wonwoo.
There’s no anxiety, no hesitation, only lust and anticipation.
He slowly kisses up your thigh, spreading your legs with his large hands. When he reaches your core, he looks up at you, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, and then, he dives in.
He holds nothing back, lapping and sucking at your pussy with the appetite of a starved man.
You can’t help the whimpers and moans that immediately escape you, your hands reaching down so you can tangle your fingers in his hair, keeping him locked to your core.
For every man you’ve ever met, you’d go so far as to say you prefer vibrators to a mouth on your clit, but fuck, Wonwoo knows what he’s doing. It’s as if he only ate you out yesterday, and he maneuvers your body like an expert, knowing exactly what you like. You suppose your sexual tastes haven’t changed in the years since you were with him, and the fact that he remembers your preferences makes your stomach twist into pleasurable knots.
He sucks on your clit while you moan and writhe, and soon, he’s groaning too. Ever the giver, Wonwoo receives pleasure when he’s making you feel good, and that only turns you on more.
Soon, you’re close to the edge, and you’re shocked at how easy it is to fall back into this familiar pace with Wonwoo.
“I’m close!” you warn him, tugging harder on his hair and earning more groans of pleasure, the vibrations stimulating your clit even more.
He sucks roughly on your clit, and your thighs twitch, muscles pulling tight before the release that comes just seconds later.
You gasp loudly, your thighs closing around his head, toes curling as waves of pleasure surge through you like electric heat.
Wonwoo doesn’t let up, and your legs tightening around his skull don’t dissuade him either, he works you through your orgasm to the point of overstimulation, until you’re nearly shaking, your moans loud enough to wake the neighbours, then he pulls back.
You’re both breathing heavily, and you slump down against the bed, heart racing as you try to collect yourself.
You watch as Wonwoo licks his lips clean, and then he stands, slowly working on his pants and giving you time to recuperate.
In a moment, he’s as naked as you are, and you realize his shoulders and arms aren’t the only thing that’s grown. Somehow, his cock has even gotten bigger, and your core twitches with desperation.
“Move up by the pillows, honey,” Wonwoo prompts, and you do as you’re told, wiggling up so you’re more comfortably resting in the centre of the bed.
Wonwoo gets on top of you, and your legs wrap around him, your hands once more drawing his lips to yours.
There’s something sinful but sexy about the taste of your pussy on his lips as he kisses you, and he pushes his thigh up toward your core so you can rub against him.
You moan desperately against his mouth, tugging on his hair and earning moans from him too.
You rub on him until he removes his thigh, replacing it with his hand, and two long fingers easily slip into your soaked hole, making you whimper.
“I missed making you cum,” Wonwoo growls, his lips moving to your throat. “Missed your sounds, and the way your pussy clenches around me. Missed the insatiable way you wiggle, how needy you are to cum.”
You can’t even find the words to respond, all you can do is grab at him and moan, mind and body both pleasantly overwhelmed by him.
He crooks his fingers up toward your g-spot and you choke on your own sounds, core clamping down on his digits.
“This is still the spot, huh?” Wonwoo chuckles. “We haven’t changed that much, have we?”
He strokes the spot repeatedly while sucking on your throat, and he grinds his palm against your clit, creating the perfect frenzy of pleasure that has you gasping and writhing beneath him again in record time.
“You’ll cum for me again, right, honey?” Wonwoo asks. “I won’t fuck you until you do.”
“I’m close,” you confess, grabbing his bicep and squeezing, loving the way his muscles bulge.
“That’s my girl.”
Your body shivers at his words, and you love the way he’s claimed you. If it was anyone else speaking to you like this, you might get mad. You’ve created a reputation as a force to be reckoned with, as a businesswoman who bows for no man- but perhaps, you can bow for your ex. For your first love. Who has done so much to come back into your life, to chase you to the big city to pursue a relationship that only ended because your goals had outgrown the town where you had fallen in love.
He continues to finger fuck you, perfectly stimulating your g-spot and your clit, and soon, you’re tipping over the edge again, your pussy squelching with wet pleasure as ecstasy rocks through you.
You grip him tightly like an anchor while your body flutters and contracts, mind numb except for the pleasure Wonwoo can uniquely provide for you.
“That’s it,” he coos, kissing your throat and making you shiver.
He works you through your second orgasm, and like the first, he’s an expert of knowing when it’s about to become pained pleasure, when he’s crossing the boarder into overstimulation, and at that point, he retreats.
Wonwoo sits up, licking his fingers clean with a groan and giving you time to recuperate.
“You’re still on birth control?” he asks.
“Yes, and STI free.”
He lets out a chuckle. “Me too.”
“Then fuck me.”
“I’m getting to it,” he grins.
You love how playful this is, as if no time at all has passed since you last slept together.
He slots between your thighs again, and you welcome him into a heated kiss while he grabs the base of his cock, lining up his tip with your wet, awaiting core.
He pushes into you easily, not wasting a moment, his full cock entering you until his hips are flush with your own.
You groan desperately into the kiss, your pussy clamping down like a vice on his cock.
“Feels good?” he asks.
“Feels amazing,” you confirm.
He grins when he presses his lips to yours again, and he slowly begins to thrust. You whimper with each bottom out, loving how thick and long he is, filling you up exactly right.
Wonwoo laces his fingers with yours, drawing your hand above your head, where he locks it in place, keeping you partly imobalized as he fucks you. You love that he has the power, love that even while being more dominant, he’s still as soft as he’s ever been.
Wonwoo is, without fault, a lover who leans on the gentle side. He praises, never degrades. He checks in on you, and knows your limits.
For so long, you suppressed the love you felt for Wonwoo, but it’s as if the floodgates have opened, and all of those memories and feelings come rushing back in, washing you with a warm feeling that is blooming deep in your abdomen after being neglected for so long.
His pace increases, and he squeezes your hand, betraying how much he’s needed this too.
But then he pulls back, looking down at you with eyes full of adoration. He gently adjusts your thigh on his hip, lifting it so he can drape your leg against his shoulder. He kisses your calf and repeats the motion on the other side, then leans over you again, folding you in half.
Now, his cock reaches even deeper, spreading you open deliciously.
You whimper, grabbing at the bed sheets to ground yourself as he slowly fucks into you, making sure he hits your deepest spots with every thrust.
“Fuck, Wonwoo!” you groan.
“You look so good like this, honey,” he tells you. “Taking me so well.”
Your core pulses around him again, body reacting to the praise.
“Fuck,” he cusses, fucking you even harder.
Mating press isn’t a position you have had much experience with, but God does it feel good.
The deep angle, the closeness-
Your entire body is starting to feel electrically charged again, the knots twisting in your stomach.
“You close again, honey?” he chuckles.
“It just feels so good,” you whimper desperately.
“Well, how about this, you cum, and I’ll cum with you.”
With a shaky nod, you adjust slightly, reaching between your bodies so you can rub your clit.
The first contact makes you throw your head back, eyes clenching shut from the stimulus, core throbbing around Wonwoo again, who lets out a deep moan.
“Just like that,” he tells you. “Keep doing that.”
You rub your clit even harder, loud whimpers and whines escaping you now. Each second is a step closer to the edge, for both of you, and you give yourself to the oncoming pleasure.
Despite being mentally prepared for your orgasm, it still rocks you to the core when it hits, and it’s the most intense of all three highs you’ve experienced tonight.
Your thighs shake, your heart thundering in your chest as your core contracts desperately around Wonwoo.
In a sudden movement, he releases your legs from your shoulders, returning to missionary so he can press his lips against yours, muffling your sounds as he explodes inside of you.
You thread your fingers through his hair, desperately clutching at him as you ride out your orgasms together, completely enraptured in the pleasure you both give each other.
You’re not sure how long you cum for, but even when you’re finished, you’re still passionately kissing Wonwoo, and neither of you pull away. You continue to make out even as your heart rate lessens, and your core stops throbbing, and something about that feels so right.
Wonwoo is the one to finally break the kiss, groaning and burying his face against your throat.
“Fuck, I missed you,” he says.
“I missed you too,” you tell him, stroking his back as you fight back tears.
You’ve never been one to be emotional after an orgasm, but with Wonwoo, the feelings come strong and naturally. You’re unable to fight it as your body betrays the need you’d tried for so long to suppress.
“I knew we’d get back together,” he muses.
“Oh?”
“The tension between us when we met again after all these years… I knew you still loved me, and if it makes you feel better, I never stopped loving you either.”
You let his words sink in as you stroke his shoulders, holding him tightly with a grip on his hips that is unrelenting.
Wonwoo pulls away from your neck, looking down at you with a smile. “Also, don’t get mad.”
“What?” you freeze.
“I may have accidentally marked your neck.”
“What?”
“A hickey.” His fingers gently brush the spot he’d been sucking on earlier. “Oops.”
If it were from any other person, a hickey would have sent you off the handle, but you can’t even bring yourself to be mad at Wonwoo, and soon, you find yourself giggling. “I guess we haven’t grown that much since University if you’re still giving me hickies,” you tease.
“Maybe not,” he concedes, stroking your face lovingly.
“I’ll call Seungcheol tomorrow and accept the job.”
“You can’t seriously be thinking about my boss at a time like this,” Wonwoo laughs.
“I’m not. I’m thinking about our future together,” you chuckle.
“I guess that’s not so bad.” Wonwoo presses a soft kiss to your lips. “Not so bad at all.”
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I hope the real estate lingo was easy enough to follow :)
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🔮 preview. Wonwoo’s coworkers still flirt with you playfully, but it’s only to ever earn a reaction out of your generally stoic boyfriend. You and real estate are the only two things he is possessive of, and your boyfriend is quick to wrap his own arm around your waist and tug you away from his friend.
cw/ tw.Unprotected sex, oral, blow job, hand job, masturbation, pussy eating, multiple sex positions, gentle spanking, slight manhandling, multiple reader orgasms, slight overstimulation, dirty talk, praise, I petnames. (hers) honey.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.5k I teaser wc. 160
🌙 starring. Wonwoo x afab!Reader
bonus
You’ve been with SVT Co for two years now, and the money and deals have been flowing as easily as ever. To congratulate the rise in the company’s status in New York, Seungcheol is throwing a huge party, so here you are, all dolled up with your sexy boyfriend on your arm as you bask in the glow that is pure success.
“Congratulations on that recent double-ended sale you two did,” Dokyeom grins, pulling you in for a hug before looking at Wonwoo. “Although he had the easy job since you brought him the buyer, I think.”
His coworkers love to tease him like this, and Wonwoo rolls his eyes.
“When are you going to bring me a buyer?” Mingyu jokes, nudging your arm and shuffling closer to you.
“When you start taking interesting listings,” you fire back, gently elbowing him in the ribs.
Everyone laughs at the way Mingyu fakes pain from the gentle touch, and then his arm moves around your shoulders.
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⍣ ೋ cw: soft pregnancy mention, implied smut, post-sex intimacy, emotional vulnerability, chris being extremely down bad, light humor, and overwhelming tenderness.
notes: in which you finally tell chan about your unexpected pregnancy.
The nausea comes in waves. Not sudden, but rising — quiet and cruel.
You slip out of bed on instinct, careful not to stir him. The room is dim, still painted in that pre-dawn blue where shadows blur soft against the walls. The floor’s cold under your feet, the silence heavier than usual.
You close the bathroom door behind you, but not fast enough to hide the sound.
You barely make it to the toilet.
Your body folds in on itself as you retch, one hand clutching the edge of the counter, the other pressed to your mouth. Your throat burns. Your eyes sting. You’re trembling again, just like yesterday. Just like every morning this week.
And you know exactly why.
But you haven’t told him.
Not yet.
The door clicks gently, and before you can even call out, he's there.
“Baby?” Chris’s voice is thick with sleep, curls still mussed, but his worry is immediate.
He steps into the bathroom, barefoot and blinking against the light. You don’t turn around, can’t—your cheek is pressed to the cool porcelain, eyes shut tight, trying to keep the tears at bay.
You hear him crouch beside you. Feel the warmth of his palm, tentative but steady, on your back.
“Hey, hey…” he whispers, thumb rubbing soft, slow circles between your shoulder blades. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
You hate how kind he is. How easily he forgives the way you’ve been pulling away lately—your silence, the distance you keep curling between your bodies each night. You hate it because he still looks at you like you haven’t broken his heart in quiet, accidental pieces.
Like you haven’t been lying by omission.
“I’ll get you some water,” he says, already standing. But you reach back blindly, fingers clutching at his wrist.
His movement stills the second you touch him.
Your fingers curl weakly around his wrist, barely more than a brush, but he stays rooted like you’ve anchored him. He sinks back down beside you without hesitation, knees to the cold tile, one hand steadying you while the other moves to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
“Okay,” he murmurs. “I won’t go.”
Your fingers slip from his wrist to his forearm, anchoring there. Not tight, not pleading. Just... needing something solid. He shifts closer, gently tucking you against him, and you let him—half-curled over the toilet, cheek pressed now to the curve of his shoulder instead of cold porcelain.
It’s shameful how good it feels.
How much you missed him.
How much he still makes space for you, without question.
You breathe him in. Warm skin, sleep-soft cotton, the scent of dreams not yet dissolved. His hand returns to your back, tracing the same slow circles, patient and gentle. He doesn't rush you. Doesn’t push. Just stays.
A lump rises in your throat. You swallow it back down.
“You’ve been sick a lot lately,” he says quietly. “And I—I didn’t want to push, but… I was starting to worry.”
You close your eyes.
Tighter.
Like you can hold the truth inside your chest if you just try hard enough.
“I didn’t want you to worry,” you manage, voice paper-thin.
Chris lets out a small, broken exhale—half a laugh, half a sigh. His thumb is still tracing that same small circle on your back, over and over like a ritual.
“Too late, baby,” he says. “You know me. I worry when you don’t text back for ten minutes.”
You breathe out a tremble of a laugh. It barely escapes you.
He pulls you in a little more, his shoulder now against your cheek, his arm curling around your waist, like he could take this ache from you if you just let him.
“Come on,” he whispers. “Let’s get off this floor, yeah?”
You don’t protest. You let him help you up, let him walk you slowly back to bed. He moves around you like instinct — pulling the blankets over your legs, smoothing your hair back, propping a pillow behind your back like he knows how this all goes. Like you’ve always been this breakable.
He disappears into the kitchen, and you hear the kettle click on. The cupboard door. The soft clink of ceramic. It’s the kind of intimacy you never thought would undo you.
When he returns, he’s carrying a steaming mug. He sets the tea down, crawls in beside you, and tugs you gently against his chest. You go without hesitation this time. Your cheek finds his collarbone. His heartbeat is steady.
“Try to sip,” he murmurs, guiding your fingers to the mug. “Ginger and honey. Helps settle the stomach.”
You take a shaky breath. Sip once. Then again.
He strokes your arm, still not asking what’s wrong. Still just being.
“I don’t deserve you,” you whisper, the words too fragile to carry.
Chris doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t argue. Just presses his lips to your forehead, eyes closed.
“You’ve got me anyway.”
You hold the tea with both hands, and before you can stop yourself, before you can weigh the moment, it falls out—
“I’m pregnant.”
A beat.
Then two.
His breath catches just slightly. You feel it in the way his chest stills beneath your cheek.
“Yeah?” he says, quiet.
He doesn’t sound shocked.
Not really.
You feel his hand pause where it rests on your arm. Not jerked away, not pulled back—just still. Still like he’s been waiting for this. Still like he already knew.
You pull back just enough to look at him.
His face is soft in the low light. No widening of the eyes, no sharp intake of breath, no panic. Just a quiet kind of calm. Like he’s been holding this truth behind his teeth for days.
You blink. “You’re… not surprised.”
Chris gives you a small, lopsided smile, and there’s something tired in it. Something knowing.
“I kind of figured.”
You freeze.
Chris shifts slightly, just enough to press his lips to your temple.
Your fingers tighten around the mug. “You… what?”
“I’ve known for a little while,” he says, and there’s no accusation in it. Just fact. “Not for sure, but… yeah. I knew.”
You pull back slowly, just enough to look up at him. His eyes meet yours, gentle and tired and a little sad around the edges.
“Then why didn’t you say anything?”
Chris exhales through his nose, brushing a thumb along your jaw. “Because I wanted you to tell me when you were ready. And if you never were—” he swallows, voice thickening, “—I figured I’d wait anyway.”
You stare at him. Your chest aches. He’s holding you like you haven’t broken his heart a hundred times over by keeping this to yourself.
“You should’ve been mad,” you whisper. “I pulled away. I lied. I let you think something was wrong with us.”
He shakes his head, thumb still moving, like he’s trying to wipe the guilt from your skin. “You didn’t lie,” he says softly. “You were scared. That’s not the same thing.”
“But—”
“Baby.”
The word silences you.
He shifts closer, rests his forehead to yours. The kind of closeness that feels like home, like breath shared between ribs.
“You’re pregnant,” he says quietly, like he’s still wrapping his heart around the truth. “That’s huge. That’s life-changing. You didn’t owe me a perfect response to that.”
Your eyes fill again. The tears this time are different—no longer the kind that come from fear, but from the ache of being known, and loved anyway.
“I didn’t want you to be disappointed,” you breathe.
Chris huffs a sound that’s half a laugh, half a sigh. “Disappointed?” He leans back, just enough to look at you fully. “Sweetheart, I’ve been walking around for the last two weeks trying not to hope too hard. Every time you flinched at the smell of eggs, I thought I was going to lose it.”
You blink.
He smiles, slow and tender. “I started carrying extra granola bars in my bag like some kind of dad training simulation.”
A laugh breaks from you, wet and surprised and a little wild. He kisses the sound off your cheek.
You want to believe him. God, you do.
But it still claws at you — the weight of it. The impossibility. The quiet voice that’s been whispering the same thing over and over since the first test turned positive.
Your laughter fades as quickly as it came, and you drop your gaze, fingers twisting in the hem of your shirt.
“But your career…”
The words are quiet. Almost too quiet. Like you’re afraid of waking something up by saying them aloud.
Chris stills.
You press on, slowly. “You have enough on your plate already. The tours. The schedules. The pressure. I didn’t want to be the reason everything got harder. I didn’t want you to feel… trapped.”
His face folds in on itself, soft and stunned, like your words physically knock the wind from him.
“Trapped?” he echoes. “Is that what you thought I’d feel?”
You swallow hard, shrugging helplessly. “You’ve worked your whole life for this. And I know what it looks like from the outside — you, me, suddenly pregnant in the middle of everything. Headlines. Rumors. People blaming me for pulling focus. I just… I didn’t want to be a detour.”
Chris is quiet for a moment. Not the kind of silence that stretches with tension, but the kind that holds something. Thoughtfulness. Heartbreak. The ache of someone hearing what wasn’t said aloud.
Then, softly:
“You think I care about headlines?”
You open your mouth, but he doesn’t give you the chance.
“You think I’d let any of that matter more than you?” His voice breaks—just enough to make your eyes sting again. “I don’t care what the outside looks like. I care about you. About the way you’ve been hurting and hiding it. About how you’ve been carrying all of this alone.”
He sits up a little straighter beside you, pulling your hands into his lap, like he needs to anchor both of you to the moment. His thumbs rub over your knuckles, steady and warm.
“I didn’t spend all this time building something just to let it become a cage,” he says. “I built it so I could choose what matters.”
Your lip trembles. You want to crawl into his words and never leave.
“I want this baby,” he says simply. “And I want you. And if that makes everything harder, then so be it. I’ve never been afraid of hard things. Just losing you.”
You press a shaky hand to your mouth, trying to bite back the sob threatening to rise.
Chris leans in, gently tugging your hands away to cup your cheeks.
“I love what I do,” he whispers. “But I love you more.”
And then, softer still—
“Let them talk. Let the whole world think what they want. I’ll hold your hand through every bit of it. I’ll shout it from the rooftops if that’s what you need.”
You break.
You fall forward into him and he catches you instantly, wrapping you up in the kind of hold that feels less like comfort and more like coming home. He rocks you slowly, like you’re something precious, and murmurs nothing but love into your hair until the shaking stops.
Neither of you speak for a while. Not in words. Just the rhythm of breath shared, the way his thumb never stops moving across your spine, the quiet tremble of your body as it starts to finally release the weight it's been holding for too long.
Eventually, you shift just enough to look up at him, eyes red and swollen.
“You’re really not scared?” you whisper.
Chris smiles. It’s tired, but steady. Steady in the way he’s always been.
“Oh, I’m terrified,” he says with a soft laugh. “But I’m not scared of us.”
His words settle into the quiet like a promise, like a hand pressed to a wound. Not to hide it—but to hold it. To keep it warm. To let it heal.
“I’m scared of screwing it up,” he admits. “Of not knowing what I’m doing. Of forgetting diapers at three in the morning and dropping the car seat manual in a puddle.”
You huff out a shaky laugh.
“But I’m not scared of loving you through this. Of being here. I want to mess it up with you. I want the sleepless nights and the ugly furniture and the weird little onesies your mom’s definitely going to send.”
You let your eyes close for a moment, breathing in the space between you. The safety of it. The calm after the unraveling.
Chris shifts behind you, easing both of you down beneath the covers again. His arms wrap around your waist from behind, palm splaying gently over your stomach—hesitant at first, then firmer, like he’s grounding himself to what’s real.
To what’s already begun.
“I don’t know how to do this,” you murmur, voice muffled against the pillow.
“Neither do I,” he says. “But I think we’ll figure it out. Together.”
His thumb draws soft, mindless circles against your skin. You can feel his breath on your shoulder, warm and even.
“We’re gonna be so bad at swaddling,” you whisper after a moment.
Chris snorts into your hair. “Horrible. Absolute disaster.”
“They’ll probably pee on us within the first ten minutes.”
He laughs again, and it rumbles through you like something holy.
“You mean they won’t wait twenty?” he teases. “Already disappointed in our future child’s manners.”
You smile. Not because the fear is gone. Not because it’s easy now. But because he’s still here. Still him. And somehow, even in the dark—especially in the dark—he’s made space for all of it.
You roll slightly, enough to face him, and he meets your gaze instantly. His eyes are red at the corners too, but soft. So soft.
They’re tangled around your legs, half-forgotten, pulled low from where Chris tugged them back earlier in careful haste—like he couldn’t wait another second to feel you again. To love you the way he’d been aching to for weeks.
But it had been gentle. So slow. So careful it almost hurt.
He’d kissed you like he was scared you’d break beneath him. Like every part of you needed to be cherished differently now—worshipped not just because he loved you, but because you were carrying something he already did.
Now, the room is quiet again.
Not the sharp quiet from earlier—the kind lined with secrets and held breath. This silence is sweeter. Fuller. The kind that lingers in the air after closeness, after truth, after love has been made and remade and made again.
You lie curled in the sheets, his hoodie pooled beneath your head like a pillow, your body still humming from the weight of him—on you, in you, with you.
Chris is beside you. Propped on one elbow, hair a mess, eyes soft in the gold light pouring through the window.
He hasn’t stopped touching you.
His fingertips skim the slope of your stomach—slow, aimless strokes over skin still too tender. He traces the curve like it’s already changed. Like he can already see the future stretching beneath your navel.
“You sure you’re okay?” he murmurs, for the third—maybe fourth—time.
You smile, eyes fluttering closed. “I’m okay.”
“Did I hurt you at all?”
You open your eyes again, shifting to face him more. He looks almost pained asking it—like he’s still afraid he was too much, even though every touch had been measured, every motion guided by whispered I love yous and soft gasps.
You reach up, fingers brushing through his hair—so soft, still sleep-mussed, still clinging to last night’s weight. His eyes flutter at the contact.
“You didn’t hurt me, Chris,” you say gently, your thumb sweeping across his temple. “You couldn’t have. You were…” You pause, cheeks warming. “You were so good to me.”
He leans into your touch like it’s instinct, nose nudging your palm, lips brushing the edge of your wrist. “I just didn’t want to rush anything,” he mumbles. “I didn’t want to take from you.”
“You gave to me,” you correct quietly. “More than you know.”
His gaze finds yours again. And it’s so open—so filled with something fragile and gleaming that it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.
“I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to be careful with someone the way I want to be with you,” he murmurs, hand still slow on your stomach. “Like every piece of you deserves a softer kind of love.”
Your throat tightens, eyes stinging with the tears you thought you’d already run out of. You don’t speak. You just lean forward and kiss him—soft and close and wordless. A promise.
When you pull back, Chris smiles, all crooked and boyish, like it still surprises him he gets to kiss you whenever he wants.
“Do you think…” he starts, then hesitates, biting down on his lower lip in that familiar way he does when he’s about to say something that scares him. “Do you think they can hear me yet?”
You blink. “Hear you?”
He shrugs, flushing a little. “I don’t know. Maybe not hear, but like—feel me.”
You smile, hand still resting over his where it sprawls protectively across your belly.
“I think,” you say, voice soft with wonder, “if they feel anything at all, it’s love.”
Chris lets out a slow breath, almost like a laugh, almost like a prayer. “Good,” he murmurs. “That’s all I want them to feel.”
And then he lowers himself again—carefully, reverently—so his face is level with your stomach, his curls brushing your skin. You feel his breath before his lips, warm and tender, and then—
“Hi,” he whispers. “It’s me again.”
You bite back a watery smile, brushing his hair back from his face. He doesn't look up. He’s focused, eyes closed, words blooming straight from his heart.
“You’re still tiny,” he says. “Probably the size of… I don’t know. A peanut? A lentil?”
You laugh softly. “A blueberry, I think.”
Chris grins against your skin. “Okay. Hi, blueberry.”
The tears return, but this time they don’t sting. They soothe. You let them fall.
Chris presses another kiss, slower this time. “Your mom is amazing. She’s strong, and patient, and really stubborn when she wants to be—don’t get any ideas—but she’s also the kindest person I’ve ever met. And she loves you already. So much.”
You can’t breathe. Or maybe you just don’t want to—don’t want to disturb the moment, the hush in the room, the way it feels like the world has paused just to let him say this.
“And I love you, too,” he adds, softer now. “Even if you’re already making her throw up every morning.”
You snort.
Chris finally looks up at you, face glowing with something boyish and stunned. Like he’s still adjusting to the weight of the word dad and how it might belong to him now.
“Do you think it’s okay to be happy yet?” he whispers. “Or is it too early?”
You blink, startled by the softness of the question. It’s not a doubt in you. It’s a doubt in himself—the way he was used to waiting for the world to collapse anytime something good entered the picture.
You tilt his face fully toward you, one hand on his cheek, the other still resting over his on your belly.
“It’s okay,” you whisper back. “We’re allowed to be happy.”
Chris leans into your palm, lashes kissing your skin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “Even if it’s early. Even if it’s messy. We’re allowed.”
A long breath leaves his chest. When he exhales, it sounds like something unknots inside him.
“Okay,” he says. And then again, firmer: “Okay.”
He kisses your belly once more—then your ribs, then your shoulder, and finally your lips, slow and sure and lingering like he’s learning the shape of this new beginning through you.
Your breath catches.
Because there’s something different in this kiss—less cautious than before, less tentative. Still tender, still full of awe, but threaded now with a kind of ache. A hunger not for your body, but for closeness. For reassurance. For the promise of you and him and this tiny, impossible future you’re building together.
You kiss him back. Let your hands curl into the soft cotton at his shoulders, let your mouth part beneath his. He deepens it without a word, like your response is all the permission he’s ever needed.
Chris exhales against your lips, the sound low, almost relieved. His hand slides from your belly to your waist, guiding you gently onto your back, careful not to press too hard, like he’s still remembering how much softer the world has become.
You pull him with you, fingers in his hair now, breath mingling as he settles between your legs, his weight familiar, comforting. Not heavy—never heavy. He’s holding himself up even now, even in this, like you’re precious. Like he can’t risk the smallest part of you going untouched, unnoticed, unloved.
His kiss grows slower. Deeper. Tongue brushing yours, mouth warm and open and wanting, but not hurried. Nothing about him is hurried. He maps you like he’s memorizing—not rediscovering your body, but learning what it means now, with the quiet miracle curled inside you.
His palm returns to your belly halfway through the kiss.
It lingers there.
Anchoring.
You feel his hips roll, subtle and restrained, like he can’t help it—but even that is tempered by reverence. He groans softly against your lips and pulls back just enough to rest his forehead to yours.
“I want you again,” he murmurs, breath catching. “So bad.”
You smile, brushing your nose against his. “We just had sex, Chris.”
“I know,” he groans, dragging his lips down to your jaw, your neck, your shoulder—soft little kisses like he’s trying to keep himself distracted. “It’s not my fault. You’re literally glowing. Like… it’s actually not fair.”
You laugh, tilting your head to give him more space. “I think that’s just the sweat from me throwing up three times this morning.”
“Nope,” he says, grinning against your collarbone. “Sorry. Pregnancy glow. Hormones. Boobs. All of it. My brain’s broken. I’m ruined.”
You snort. “Are you seriously saying I got hotter now that I’m pregnant?”
Chris lifts his head to look at you, eyebrows raised, completely unapologetic. “Yes. Have you seen yourself? You’re radiant. Divine. A walking goddess with a baby growing inside her—my baby, by the way. Do you have any idea what that does to me?”
You blink at him, stunned and absolutely flustered. “Chris—”
He groans dramatically and drops his head to your chest. “You don’t get it. I’m suffering.”
You wheeze a laugh, your fingers threading through his hair again.
He looks up at you, eyes wide, completely serious now. “Every time you move I want to pounce. But I can’t. Because I am a gentleman. A respectful, self-restrained—” he kisses the top of your belly, “—incredibly patient father-to-be.”
You grin. “Uh-huh.”
His hand slides up your thigh, just high enough to make your breath hitch. “But if you even so much as breathe wrong, I’m folding.”
“Chris—”
“I mean it. One little sound. A sigh. A whimper. I’m gone.”
Your laughter breaks loose then, full and warm and aching at the edges. He kisses you hard, almost like he’s trying to prove his point—like he's sealing the moment in his mouth before it gets the better of him.
His hands are definitely not innocent anymore.
“Okay—okay,” he says, breathless, forehead against yours again. “I have to get up. I have to. You need food. I need distance.”
You wrap your arms around his neck, not letting him go. “You sure?”
He groans into your shoulder. “I’m going. I'm going. But I’m leaving in emotional pain.”
You release him with a teasing little kiss. “Breakfast, dad.”
Chris smirks as he finally sits up, eyes sweeping over you one last time before he swings his legs off the bed. “Fine. But you better be decent when I come back or I’m canceling breakfast and blaming the baby.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.”
And with that, he trudges toward the kitchen in his boxers, muttering something about toast and torture under his breath.
You melt back into the sheets, laughing, heart pounding, belly warm—and for once, everything feels exactly, impossibly, beautifully right.
summary: lee minho and you have been at each others throats for years. but a series of events uncover the truth of your feelings. can you forgive him for being an asshole?
cw: strong language, angst (happy ending dw), crack, suggestive, mentions of drinking/being drunk, lino being an asshole (but that's in the title hehe),
a/n: HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE MINHO!!! My main bias wrecker for realllll! Here is a little angsty birthday smau for this mans BIRTHDAY!! 😩
also i apologise for my spelling mistakes my fingers and brain work faster than my eyes lol
reader asks bsf!skz if they're tryna fuck, but they're joking right? right guys? NSFW, 18+
HYUNG LINE • 형 라인
MAKNAE LINE • 막내 라인
are you still watching?
<< exit // continue watching (bsf!skz) >>
A/N: so idk if this is even entertaining or just stupid but i thought i should probably try and release more content in between major updates to keep people busy <3
୨୧ summary: you hate chan because your boyfriend hates chan, and you’re pretty sure he hates you too. so when he proposes a fake dating arrangement after you get cheated on, you accept only for the revenge plot. but that doesn’t exactly go as planned, because maybe you two never really hated each other after all.
୨୧ pairing: student!bang chan x fem!student!reader
୨୧ genre: college!au, enemies to lovers / fake dating, a lil fluff, a lil angst, smut MINORS DNI
୨୧ word count: 20.6k
୨୧ featuring: jaehyun of nct and mina & jihyo of twice
୨୧ warnings: 18+, cheating (not between reader and chan), mentions of alcohol, explicit language, poor communication, some arguing, overuse of italics (sorry!), oral (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (pls dont do it), breast play (+ one slap !), creampie, multiple orgasms, spitting, dirty talk, teasing, pet names (baby, princess), afab reader
୨୧ author's note: let's play a game of how many tropes can i fit into one fic! i did all of my college courses online so not too much on me and my unrealistic depictions pls… also obviously this is not an accurate portrayal of jaehyun, i love that man down okay!! and i got a lil lazy midway through this and rushed it to get to the smut lmao sorry!
You hated parties.
You hated parties because they were loud, because spaces with that many bodies on top of each other were too suffocating, because men always tried to hit on you with boozy breath and wandering eyes.
Now you hated parties because they made your boyfriend want to stick his tongue down other girls’ throats.
Jaehyun had managed to destroy nine months within three minutes – that’s the length of time you’d convinced yourself you’d spent standing there, unable to avert your gaze from the horror unfolding in front of you. Three whole minutes that he hadn’t even noticed your presence, too preoccupied. Too focused on kissing this random girl like he had something to claim, as if you weren’t enough. And worst of all, he hadn’t even cared enough to bring it somewhere private. They were in a corner of the living room, tucked away but not hidden. It had only taken a little bit of squeezing between partygoers and quick apologies to make your way to them.
They had gathered a crowd, too. A few spectators, voices meant to be whispers – drunk people can’t seem to mind their own volume.
“Yo, is that Y/N?”
“Nah, I just saw her getting a drink.”
“Shit…she’s gonna be so pissed.”
At least the alcohol hadn’t made them completely brainless. You were, in fact, pissed. There was the unmistakable heartbreak too, but you weren’t going to let anyone see that. Instead, you blinked back your tears and cleared your throat to make sure the words didn’t get stuck. Each step you took towards him made it more real, until you were close enough that you knew he could hear you over the raging music.
“What the fuck are you doing?” you hiss, far from an actual question. Your voice still broke on the last word, and you hoped he hadn’t noticed. As soon as he registers that it’s your voice, his girlfriend, Jaehyun tries to push the girl away, feigning disgust. It’s almost pathetic in a way, his little act.
“Shit, Y/N,” he curses. “I didn’t mean to – fuck, I didn’t mean for this to happen, I just – ”
He stumbles on his words as if his mouth wasn’t working perfectly fine just seconds before. When he tries to inch towards you, you step back, refusing to allow him the comfort.
“You’re fucked, Jaehyun,” you say flatly. That’s as much of your energy as you would give him, at least for now. He’d embarrassed you enough by kissing another woman in the middle of a party; you decided against escalating your humiliation by shouting at him and causing a scene. You turn on your heels and begin pushing through bodies again, away from him, and you can tell he’s following. You can hear your name, barely reaching your ears but definitely there.
Once you make it out of the most concentrated pool of people, he staggers soon after and latches onto your wrist. The same fingertips that used to run across your skin so gently now felt like betrayal and poison.
“Let me go,” you snap. His grip loosens slightly, but he still holds you there, determined to defend himself.
“I fucked up, I know, but please just hear me out,” he begs, as if he has the right to. His excuses are the last thing you want to hear right now, and you know that’s all they would be. Stupid excuses for a stupid “mistake,” and it makes you sick to even think about listening to him explain why and how he ended up making out with another woman in the corner of a party he asked you to go with him to.
“No! Fuck you, seriously,” you spit, words laced with venom you prayed would hurt him even a fraction of the way he hurt you.
And perhaps they did, or at the very least stunned him, because he drops your arm entirely. Now, you take the final steps towards the door, reaching for the handle. He tries to follow you again, unsatisfied, unrelenting. “And if you follow me out this door, I promise you I’ll never speak to you again.”
That stops him in his tracks. Maybe gives him some hope that if he just lets you cool off for the night, you’ll let him explain in the morning. Regardless of how he perceives it, you lunge at the opportunity to escape, finally making it out the door and into the crisp night air. It hits your skin viciously, your skirt and halter top offering little protection from its bite. You’re cold, heartbroken, and, worst of all, not even nearly drunk enough to mask it.
Without the vivaciousness of the party, you can only see Jaehyun kissing her in your mind, can only hear the hushed whispers of the onlookers, replaying on a torturous loop. You’d only made it down the steps of the house before the tears began to fall. Now you let them, assuming you were away from prying eyes.
Unfortunately, you hadn’t noticed someone standing right next to the door while you and Jaehyun had your little spat. A certain someone who would get far too much enjoyment out of such a scene. You had been followed once more, but this time not by your stupid cheating ex boyfriend, but by his equally as stupid “rival.” It was still a mystery to you why they hated each other, and at this point, you didn’t care at all to find out.
“Those were some harsh words,” he chuckles, and you don’t even need to turn around to recognize the voice. The same way you don’t need to turn around to know he’s smirking. You hurriedly wipe your eyes, careful not to smudge your makeup; the last thing you need is him to see you crying, another thing for him to derive sick pleasure in. You wouldn’t dare grant him that.
Because it was an unspoken relationship rule that an enemy of your partner is an enemy of your own. So, for no real reason other than the fact that Jaehyun hated him, you hated Bang Chan.
“Fuck off, Chan,” you snarl, quickening your pace. It doesn’t matter, since he catches up to you in a few short strides. “Why the hell did you even follow me out here?”
He steps in rhythm with you, making it clear he had no intentions of leaving. Not until he got what he wanted, whatever that may be. The satisfaction of seeing you broken? The chance to remind you how shitty Jaehyun is and how great he is? You aren’t sure, but you keep walking anyway.
“I just didn’t expect to hear you say such things to your boyfriend,” he answers. His emphasis of “boyfriend” makes you both angry and repulsed, then bitter and devastated. Nine months of your life gone in minutes, and now you had the displeasure of dealing with Chan on top of it.
You scoff and finally stop, turning to face him for the first time. His eyes twinkle with something devious, and it infuriates you. “He’s not my boyfriend. Not anymore.”
“Oh?” he draws his head back in shock. He’s silent for a moment, and you fold your arms across your chest, glaring at him in a way he finds cute more than intimidating. “I’m surprised you two lasted this long, actually. Figured it was about time for Jaehyun to do what he does best.”
You blink at him incredulously, his careless words cutting deep. There’s no reason anything he says should bother you, but there’s something about it that stings. And Chan notices, too, watching your entire face shift from rage to sorrow. Your features soften in a way he’d never seen before – you’d only ever looked at him with hatred and annoyance – and it deflates him.
“I don’t know why you two don’t get along. Seems like you should be best friends – you’re both fucked up,” you retort quickly, though it comes out as a strained whisper.
Chan hates being grouped with him, especially in your mind where Jaehyun now seems to be synonymous with evil. He never expected to be giving you of all people an apology, but he figures he needs to. For his own consciousness, of course. Definitely not because he felt an odd pang in his chest when you looked at him with something other than disdain for once.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that. Are you alright?” he asks cautiously. He never thought he’d be so relieved to see someone roll their eyes, but when you do, he swears he feels ten times lighter. Your hostility he could navigate, but your sadness was uncharted territory; he was glad to be back to familiarity. And since you hadn’t walked away from him yet, he takes the chance to dig deeper. “What did he do?”
“Like I’d want to talk to you about it. Just give it a few hours, you’ll hear about it from someone, I’m sure,” you shrug, trying to pretend that you’re unbothered. That you don’t care that you’ll likely be the talk of campus, the woeful ex-girlfriend people will look at in that pitiful way they look at small, broken things.
As much as you hate Chan, you’re grateful he isn’t looking at you like you’re small or broken. He’s looking at you the same as always, like you’re a challenge, a puzzle he hasn’t yet solved. Maybe that’s why you decided to keep standing there, holding more of a conversation with him than you’d likely ever had before.
“Probably. But I want to hear it from you. So tell me, what happened?” he asks again.
He doesn’t say it with demand or snark. It sounds almost unsettlingly genuine. It sounds like someone that isn’t Chan, or at least the Chan you’re familiar with. You hesitate, conjuring up another smart remark, but you let it die in your throat.
“He fucking cheated on me. He was making out with some girl in front of everyone. Can you believe that?” you chuckle sarcastically, forgetting who exactly is standing before you. “Nevermind…I’m sure you can believe it. God, I’m so stupid.”
“No, you’re not stupid,” he says adamantly. “He’s stupid. An even bigger idiot than I thought, actually.”
It angers him more than it should that you’re degrading yourself over Jaehyun’s horrible decisions, and he has a fleeting thought of going back and telling him off for it. And as the thought passes, he can’t understand why. He knows you hate him. He knows you have likely been fed lies and half-truths by Jaehyun for months. He knows he shouldn’t care about any of this. He can’t seem to figure out why he does.
“I just can’t get that image out of my head. It’s making me sick,” you mumble, and it replays all over again. The ear-splitting music, the crowd, his lips on hers, that look on his face when he saw you. All your emotions bubble back up to the surface and come out as a loud groan, though internally you just want to scream until your throat is raw. “I wish I could make him feel even half of what I feel right now.”
The idea that pops up sounds ridiculous in his head and likely even more so said aloud, but his mouth opens before he can stop himself. “Well, maybe you could,” he trails.
“I know it may be hard for you to believe, but I’m actually a good person,” you sneer. “I would never cheat.”
He laughs dryly and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion, awaiting an explanation. “Believe me, I know you’re just a perfect princess,” he mocks, and you’re certain if you roll your eyes any harder they’ll get stuck like that. “But who said anything about cheating? Besides, you’re not together anymore,” he reminds. “And there’s only one thing I can think of that would drive him just as mad.”
You’re intrigued now, though doubtful there’s anything that could reflect the same level of hurt you currently felt. Anything rational, at least. Still, you wanted to hear whatever silly idea Chan had, if not for your own amusement.
“Which is what?” you question.
“Being with me,” he answers, too quickly, too plainly, as if it was something entirely normal and not an absolutely insane statement. When your eyes widen, he continues, waving his hands urgently to indicate you had gotten the wrong impression. “Okay, not for real, Jesus. Like faking it, you know? Just for him to see and lose his mind.”
That was quite possibly the last thing you expected, and you’re forced to laugh at the absurdity of it. You wait for him to join in, to tell you he was joking just to fuck with you. That would have been the Chan thing to do. Instead, he stares at you, a half-smile playing on his lips.
“Yeah, okay, you’re insane,” you scoff.
“Is it that insane?” he says smugly, poking his tongue in his cheek. “Think about it, imagine how pissed he’d be seeing us together.”
For a moment, you can’t help but realize how attractive he actually is. It’s not that you hadn’t noticed before – you had perfectly functional eyes – but now being single and also inches away from him, it was an unavoidable fact. It made you almost begin to consider his idea. Almost.
“Yes, it’s insane! Just because I gave you five minutes of my time on a shitty night doesn’t mean I want to talk to you ever again, let alone pretend to date you.”
“Oh, Princess Y/N gave me five minutes of her precious time, thank you so much,” he quips, and this time he’s the one to roll his eyes. “Whatever, I gave you a guy’s perspective on how to get back at him. You’re not gonna get any better revenge than that.”
“And what do you get from it?” you ask, certain there must be some mutually beneficial aspect beneath it. There’s no way he would suggest something so outlandish without thinking of his own gain, and you know that’s true when he grins wickedly.
“Just the satisfaction of seeing his face when he realizes he lost his girl to the one person he hates more than anything.”
You aren’t sure why you hadn’t grasped that from the beginning. All Chan wanted, as always, was to get under Jaehyun’s skin, to take something of his, to win. The idea is still crazy, and far more theatrical than you’d usually approve of, but you’re a lover scorned.
Then, you think back to the unspoken rule, the sole reason and origin of your hatred for Chan. Jaehyun hadn’t even followed relationship rule number fucking one: don’t cheat on your girlfriend. So, you figured you could break some rules and allow some theatrics.
“Okay. Okay, fine, I’ll fake date you or whatever,” you huff, trying to ignore his triumphant smirk. “But nothing weird, alright? And once it’s all over, we go back to hating each other.”
He throws his hands up like it’s offensive you’d even insinuated it. “Believe me, that’ll be no problem,” he agrees.
“Good,” you say simply, a forced tight-lipped smile on your face.
“Good,” he repeats.
The silence that falls over you two is uncomfortable, only disrupted by the sound of the wind lifting leaves along the sidewalk and the faint thumping of music. You can still see the house down the road, and it makes you wonder if Jaehyun is still inside and if he went right back to her. Suddenly, you feel the need to get home and cry in the shower with your carefully-curated sad music playlist.
“Well…I’m gonna go back to my dorm now,” you finally speak, shifting on your feet awkwardly.
“I’ll walk you,” he offers without a second thought.
You can’t help the way you exhale a little too harshly. Truthfully, you just wanted a short walk on your own to process all of the nights’ events, including the proposal you’d just accepted. And you had already spent more time than you’d like with Chan for one night (although you know you’ll have to spend much more now).
“Uh, no thanks. I don’t think we need to start the whole fake dating thing right now,” you reject bluntly.
He pinches the bridge of his nose and shakes his head, trying to stop himself from saying the wrong thing. He’s just trying to do a nice thing, the right thing, but you have a way of getting under his skin. The next few weeks are surely going to be a challenge. “It’s not for that, Y/N,” he sighs. “It’s late and dark out. Just let me make sure you get home safe, please?”
The roads are lit only by streetlights and the moon shining above, and you shiver from both the chilly air and the thought of making the walk to your dorm alone. You’d expected to be going home with Jaehyun, definitely not on your own in the middle of the night.
“Fine,” you agree reluctantly. “But can we just walk in silence? Not really in the mood to talk anymore.”
You deliberately exclude that you feel like if you keep talking, you’re going to break. You’d kept a relatively strong front – far stronger than you thought you’d be after being cheated on – but it was slowly crumbling. Maybe it was all the adrenaline that kept your emotions contained, because now everything was slowing down and soaking in.
“Sure,” he nods, following closely behind when you turn and begin taking steps forward. Your dorm is ten minutes away, and you walk side by side, arms occasionally brushing against each others. You only make it about two minutes in before he stops, shrugging off his jacket. Then, he holds his hand out, gesturing to it when you stare dumbly.
“Here,” he offers. “You’re freezing.”
There’s no denying that he’s right, but that didn’t mean you were going to wear his jacket. You could survive a few more minutes of the cold, even though your skin was covered with goosebumps that hadn’t gone away since you’d first left Jaehyun at the door. “I’m not wearing your jacket, Chan,” you shove his hand back.
Before you can start walking again, he drapes it around your shoulders, ignoring the glares you send his way.
“Do you always have to be this stubborn?” he groans. “You’re literally shaking, but God forbid you wear my jacket.”
You click your tongue and pull your arms through the sleeves anyway, mumbling a grudging “thank you.” The newfound warmth was a great comfort, and you’re so wrapped up in it you don’t notice the way he steals short glances over at you. His eyes drag down your body, drinking in how his jacket sits on your shoulders like it belongs there. How the sleeves fall past your wrists and the hem lines your thighs, still mostly exposed from your skirt length of choice. How you look good wearing something of his.
And then he curses himself for even thinking it, tearing his eyes away even though he really doesn’t want to. He clears his throat loudly, awkwardly, trying to ground himself, and you look over wordlessly. Any words you were going to say get caught in your throat when you notice how muscular his arms are now that they’re no longer covered.
Still, neither of you speak again, both thinking silent thoughts that you’d never let the other know. Once you arrive at your dorm building, he walks you all the way to your door despite your protests, muttering something about you being stubborn yet again.
“Thank you for walking me home,” you force out, gratitude sounding like exasperation. Your back is pressed against the door, hand wrapped around the handle. All you want is to throw yourself in bed and sob and sleep at this point, but Chan’s presence keeps you in the hallway.
He nods, combing a hand through his hair, wondering when it became so difficult to think of the right words to say to you. “Try not to think about him too much tonight, alright?” he sighs. “I know that’s hard, but just try to get some sleep or something.”
Such gentle advice sounds odd coming from his mouth, and he waits for your sarcastic reply. Counts on it, actually.
It doesn’t come. Instead, you smile at him weakly, telling yourself you simply don’t have the mental capacity to go back and forth with him anymore. Not that you were actually hating him a little less.
“I’ll try,” you assure. “Oh, yeah. Here.”
You pull off his jacket, the one that had begun to feel a little too comfortable, and fold it over your arms towards him.
“Keep it. You can wear it around or whatever,” he suggests indifferently. It would make your fake relationship more believable, but beyond that, it would appeal to that small part of him that enjoyed seeing you in it.
Fuck, what had gotten into him?
“I won’t,” you sass, bringing the jacket back to your chest anyways.
He runs his tongue along his teeth, chuckling. “Of course you won’t. So stubborn.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Stop being that,” he shoots back.
Seemingly, you’d met your match. Someone who could keep up with your quick retorts, your mouthiness. And it came in the form of a man your ex boyfriend hated, a man you hated. You weren’t sure why that made it all the more exciting for you.
His gaze lingered, a curious glint in his eyes. He was trying to piece you together bit by bit, but you were a more difficult puzzle than most.
“Have a good night, Chan,” you say, finally turning the handle. When the door swings open, he finds himself looking around unintentionally, another opportunity to figure you out. He can see a few plushies on your bed, posters lined on the walls, and framed photos he can’t quite make out. There’s probably some of you and Jaehyun, and he hopes those are long gone by the next time he ends up at your dorm.
You slip inside hastily, and he realizes he’d been too engrossed in examining your room to respond. The door comes to a close in front of him.
“Yeah, you too,” he breathes out when you can’t hear, standing there just a few moments longer.
Once inside, you wait to hear the sound of his footsteps padding away, and when you do, you crack. The pictures of you and Jaehyun sit on your bedside dresser, mocking you, and you slam them down against the wood. You’re partially inclined to throw them against the wall and hope they shatter, but you don’t particularly feel like cleaning up glass shards through tears.
At least you let the teddy bear he gifted you stay on your bed, unharmed. An innocent soul caught in the crossfire, a child of divorce even.
“Fuck Jaehyun, fuck parties, and fuck this whole night,” you curse, though it comes out in choked sobs. And fuck Chan, your brain wants to say, but you bite it back. He had walked you home, given you his jacket…and become your fake boyfriend (soon to be, anyways) within the span of thirty minutes. Still, he was annoying, arrogant, impossible-to-deal-with Chan.
As much as every fiber of your being yearned for the soft comfort of your bed, you trudge to your bathroom and start the shower, making sure to put on your playlist while the water warms. Because if you were going to be heartbroken, you were at least going to be heartbroken while listening to Cigarettes After Sex.
After thirty minutes of crying and scrubbing your body of any traces of Jaehyun, you finally step out and decide to check your phone for the first time since everything had completely unraveled. Apparently getting cheated on was all you needed to reduce your screen time, so maybe that was a positive?
Naturally, there’s a few texts from people you could hardly consider friends but would now act like you were with feigned sympathy, full nosiness. Among them, however, is a text from a number you hadn’t saved.
y/n?
who’s this?
I’d say the guy you hate the most but i think someone else might’ve taken that spot
Chan. It was almost impressive that he managed to sound annoying even through texts.
ha. and how’d you get my number…?
I asked someone for it. you think they’ll take the bait?
they’ll probably just think you’re a freak who goes for recently heartbroken girls.
Nah. that’s not really my type.
oh yeah? what’s your type then?
You watch as the typing bubble pops up and disappears a few moments later, and then nothing. Minutes pass and you assume he’s leaving you on read, and that’s fine. It’s late, anyway, and after such a thorough cleansing and crying session, you’re exhausted.
So it’s no surprise when your phone buzzes again just as you manage to get comfortable in bed.
Just because that’s not my type doesn’t mean i have a type
“Liar,” you mumble to yourself. Whatever, it’s not like you care who or what he’s into. In fact, you’re glad he didn’t answer. Who knows what kind of weird things he’d come up with, if not just to irritate you.
okay, boring
What about you then? what’s your type?
You’re torn between giving him a genuine answer or something along the lines of “basically the antithesis of you.” Then, you realize you can probably do both at once, since you don’t consider Chan to align with any of your dating criteria.
i like someone who’s warm, attentive, and can make me laugh. someone who notices the little things, too
Yeah, definitely not Chan. But then again….
That can’t be right. i mean, you ended up with jaehyun
Also not Jaehyun. That was something you could admit now, but it was different coming from someone else. Like you were the only one who couldn’t see the flaws, the incompatibility. You feel stupid all over again, trying to ignore the way your throat began to tighten once more.
i’m going to sleep.
HahahaAw man. i was having fun.
goodnight, chan.
Goodnight princess
The nickname might’ve been a term of endearment from anyone else, but from Chan, it was a thinly veiled taunt. You save his contact with a very fitting eyeroll emoji just to spite him, finally drifting off to a surprisingly peaceful sleep soon after.
“What an asshole,” Jihyo hisses. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there, you know I would have ripped into him.”
With all the craziness of the night, you hadn’t even thought to text any of your friends. It was one of the rare times none of them could make it out with you, and now you were being inundated with questions over lunch.
You wave her off, poking at your plate idly. “It’s fine, I promise,” you sigh.
“Has he texted you today?” Mina asks, glancing down at your phone on the table. You look down too, half-expecting to see another flurry of messages from Jaehyun – he’d already sent about twenty since the morning, all going unanswered.
“Yes,” you groan, unlocking your phone and passing it to the two girls for them to read the same desperate pleas you’d been spammed with. They scroll through, mouths slightly agape. “Should I answer? I’m worried he’s gonna end up showing up at my dorm if I don’t.”
“Here, let me answer,” Jihyo says, and you reach over and snatch the phone out of her hands before she can type. It wasn’t that he didn’t deserve whatever insults she’d send his way, but that you worried any response would entice him at this point.
To satisfy her, you finally text him back, telling him to leave you alone and that you would let him know when you were ready to talk. You truly had no idea when that would be, but any more silence from your end would inevitably have him tracking you down on campus.
Then, you remembered the other half of the night, the part where you agreed to fake date the same man your friends had heard you complain about more than once. There was no way you were going to keep that from them, nor would you be able to, but you weren’t even sure how to approach the subject.
Hey, by the way, I’m pretending to date that guy I hate. For the revenge plot of course.
“There’s actually something else that happened last night,” you begin, studying their reactions. They wait expectantly, eyes wide with curiosity. “Chan heard us arguing and we…talked a little.”
“Yeah, well, that sounds like Chan. He basically feeds off of Jaehyun’s misery,” Jihyo chuckles.
Mina catches onto the end of your sentence, the words you had said just a little too quickly and quietly. Intentionally so. “What do you mean you talked? You can’t stand him.”
Now, both girls are staring at you, disbelief etched on their faces. You and Chan had never talked. You insulted, glared, and mocked. Talking? They weren’t even sure you two were capable of holding a conversation without spitting names at each other.
“It’s stupid…” you trail. “He had this idea, and…I don’t know, I guess I just agreed to it because I was so angry and emotional.”
You’re stalling, obviously, and they’re growing more impatient with each delayed sentence.
“He suggested we pretend to be together to get back at Jaehyun.”
It’s quiet for a few seconds, and then Jihyo laughs, a full-body laugh that has tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. Mina just blinks at you, unamused. “Y/N! You can’t make me laugh like that while I’m eating, you know,” Jihyo scolds, still releasing occasional giggles.
“You’re not joking,” Mina says flatly. “Are you?”
Realization strikes both their faces when you don’t answer, swirling your straw around absentmindedly. Next comes their looks of disapproval.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you groan. But what did you expect? You had just thrown into question a fact they knew more concretely than grass being green or the sky being blue: you hate Chan. So did your need for revenge trump your hatred, or was your hatred truly never that deep after all? They suspected the latter – they always did, especially when you would go on about how insufferable he was while eyeing him from across a room.
“Like what? Like you’re crazy? Because clearly, you’re crazy,” Jihyo whisper-shouts.
“And with Chan of all people, seriously?” Mina adds.
Okay, neither of them were wrong, but they’d also never been cheated on to understand all the complex thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing right now. And yes, with Chan, because the plan simply wouldn’t work with anyone else (nor would anyone else be stupid enough to go along with it). It just had to be your ex boyfriend’s worst enemy.
“I know it’s crazy and you know I’d never agree to something like this, but – ”
“ – but she just couldn’t resist me,” someone interjects from behind you. Then, he throws himself next to you, leaning back against the table on his elbows.
You aren’t sure how long he’s been there or how much he heard, though you guess not much since one of them definitely would have warned you. Either way, add his stupidly good timing to the list of things that piss you off about him.
He hadn’t texted you in the morning – not that he was supposed to, or that you expected him to – and it almost made you wonder if the whole night was a fever dream. Evidently not, seeing as he was sitting a few inches away with a wide grin plastered on his dumb face.
“Are you stalking me across campus?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.
He huffs out a hollow laugh. “You wish. You guys sit in the same spot almost every day.”
Is he right? Yes. Does it make sense for him to know that? Not really. Unless he’d been paying more attention to you than you thought, which also didn’t make sense.
“Okay, so you’re not stalking me,” you conclude. “Just watching me.”
“Why does it have to be you? There’s two other lovely ladies here.”
“Ew,” Mina says.
“Don’t be gross,” Jihyo adds.
Now it’s your turn to laugh, though Chan is unamused. You want to poke him further, to find out why he knows the specific time and place your friends typically eat lunch, but you decide to save it for another time. Especially since those two are sitting right across from you and would hang onto every stupid thing he says, pestering you about it later.
Chan spins forward, now facing Jihyo and Mina. “Do you girls mind if I steal Y/N for a bit?”
“I mind,” you scoff, but he ignores you entirely.
The two girls look at each other suspiciously, knowingly. Then, Mina shakes her head, basically sending you off to your demise (another uncomfortable walk with Chan – two in less than twenty-four hours has to be considered cruel and unusual punishment). “Sure,” she shrugs. “We were just finishing up, anyways.”
Were you, though? The conversation hadn’t shown any signs of slowing down until he arrived.
With the approval of your friends, not yours, he clasps his hand around yours and stands up, trying to bring you with him. You can’t move, you can’t function at all with his hand holding your own, and once it hits you, you yank it away from him.
And then you stand anyway, as if your body was betraying you and doing everything your brain said not to.
“I hope you don’t plan on hurting her, too,” Jihyo cautions, an unspoken threat behind her words.
Her intentions are sweet, but you can’t help but feel the need to chide her for making it seem like you two are actually together.
“I’m not going to cheat on her, if that’s what you’re implying,” he jeers, picking up your bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “Don’t worry, princess, you’re the only fake girlfriend in my life.”
He must think he’s so funny, putting on a show in front of your friends, but you’re not laughing. However, Mina and Jihyo are. Snickering under their breath, actually, and probably going to gush all about this odd interaction after you leave.
The three of you exchange goodbyes, Chan already walking away from the table. You have to take larger strides to catch up to him, and when you do, you reach for your bag, trying to pry it from his arm.
“Is it going to kill you if you let me be nice and carry your stuff?” he huffs, readjusting the strap.
“It might,” you glare, but you can tell he’s not budging, so you resign. You wait for him to speak, to offer an explanation. Instead, he scans your face like he’s looking for something beneath the surface. “Is there a reason you took me from my friends just now?”
“Are you okay?” he asks, answering your question with…a question? So. Annoying.
But it sounds sincere coming from him, unlike how everyone else had asked you since last night. You can tell the difference now between girls who asked because they wanted to know if they had a chance with Jaehyun, guys who asked because they wanted to know if they had a chance with you, the complete randoms who asked just to be in the know, and now…this. Someone who genuinely wanted to know if you were okay, nothing more, nothing less, no underlying motives.
“I’m alright,” you shrug, “just numb, I think.”
He swallows hard, then nods. And suddenly the Chan you recognize is back. “Well, you look good for someone who just got cheated on.”
Maybe the compliment would have felt good if he hadn’t tacked on the last part. You had enough reminders throughout the day, so much so that your phone had been on DND for hours. And the reminders came in other forms, too, like your lonely walk to your first class in the morning, the one Jaehyun would always accompany you on. Or the song that came on shuffle that you two had once added to a shared playlist (which you now had sole custody of).
“Do you know how to give an actual compliment?” you snap, already knowing the answer. Chan would probably drop dead before he complimented you.
“So you’d rather I just say you look good?” he questions.
Yes, yes you most certainly would. But there was no way in hell you would tell him that and make him think his words actually mean something to you. You can just picture his smug look of satisfaction already.
So you lie through your teeth.
“No.”
He chews the inside of his cheek, carefully mulling over what he says next. “You do though. Look good, I mean,” he states matter-of-factly. And to your surprise, he doesn’t drop dead afterwards.
What should you say in return? Thank you? No, that implies you’re appreciative, grateful he complimented you, which you aren’t. You look good too? Absolutely not, unless you want to have him use that against you for the foreseeable future. Ew, don’t say those things? You’re not even sure you can feign disgust like that.
You end up not saying anything at all, but your face says a lot. Too much. It heats up and your cheeks dust with red, a far worse response than any of the others you’d contemplated.
“Aw, you’re blushing,” Chan teases, bumping against your shoulder lightly. “Getting all shy on me, where’s that smart mouth?”
“Shut up,” you grumble, and then you realize you’ve been following him blindly for the past minutes. You see that he’s led you to the heart of campus, the vast field of green where couples, friends, and classmates alike all congregate. He heads straight for a bench, pulling you down next to him like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
“When’s your next class?”
You don’t answer.
“You took me away from my friends to bring me here?” And then you look around, convincing yourself everyone’s eyes are on you. “People are staring.”
He looks over at you, your bag now acting as a barrier between your bodies, and quirks an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?”
“I just don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”
“Yeah, well, newsflash, princess. We’re doing this so they do get the wrong idea,” he reminds, tucking your bag by his side. With the new space, he hooks his arms around your thighs and shifts you towards him, pulling your legs onto the bench and draping them over his lap.
“Chan!” you hiss, trying to move, but he holds you there.
If you thought people were staring before, they must be drilling holes through you now. Realistically, you’re just being dramatic – everyone is too entrenched in their own problems, their own conversations, their own world to really notice you. But you know people will talk, because that’s what people do, especially when it involves two individuals who are quite well-known on campus.
“Relax. The more obvious we make this, the quicker people will see, the quicker Jaehyun will see. And then it can all be over, right?” he explains, and you huff in response. You sit there like that long enough that it becomes comfortable, his fingers tapping idly on your leg while he scrolls on his phone. At the same time, you trace mindless shapes onto the bench, pretending you weren’t melting into him slowly.
No.
Being like this with Chan shouldn’t feel this normal, and you refuse to accept that it does. So, naturally, you have to say something to ruin it. Almost like an innate reflex.
“I should’ve just stepped out in a revenge dress, but nooo, I had to agree to your stupidity,” you mumble. He laughs, and then his face contorts to something more serious.
“You have a revenge dress?”
He says it hopefully, a glimmer of interest in his eyes.
“If I do,” you begin, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “you’ll never get to see it.”
His entire body deflates, and you take the opportunity to pull yourself off of him. You had a class across campus to get to and also needed a serious mental debrief to process the last twenty minutes. He hands over your bag, lifting off the bench as well. “Do you want me to like, walk you to your classes and stuff?”
“Nope,” you decline easily. “Unless you’re willing to walk me to my 8:30 on Tuesdays.”
It’s supposed to be a joke, and he must know it because he scoffs, shaking his head like you’d just said the most egregious thing ever. You laugh and start in the direction of your class, the feeling of his body so close to yours still lingering.
The weekend comes and goes quickly, with you swearing off any more parties for the time being despite Mina and Jihyo’s pleas. They both mention something about alcohol and loud music being the perfect remedy for a break up. But you already only really went to parties to appease your friends (and Jaehyun, previously), who dubbed them an “essential part of the college experience.” Now, you had the perfect excuse not to. Even Chan texts you to ask if you’ll be going out, though he doesn’t have nearly the same level of disappointment as your friends when you say no.
Instead, you spend your days clearing your camera roll of pictures of your cheating ex boyfriend and boxing up all the things of his you no longer wanted to have in your possession. Maybe you could get Chan to burn it all for you (except for the teddy bear, of course).
And then Tuesday morning rolls around and there’s an incessant knocking on your door, which is not only irritating but unusual, given the time. You’re in the middle of getting dressed when you answer, top half still in a tank top, bottom half in jeans.
This person is about to feel all your morning wrath, until you blink a few times and register that it’s Chan of all people.
“What the hell?”
“8:30, right?” he confirms, leaning against the doorframe.
You fold your arms across your chest, resisting his charm as best as you can. “That was a joke,” you groan, opening the door wider. “I’m not done getting ready and it’s gonna look weird if you’re waiting outside.”
He steps inside happily, immediately noticing the now barren space on your dresser. You had gotten rid of the pictures, good. He also recognizes his jacket draped along the back of your chair in a way he knows you’ve worn it, or at least moved it recently. It hangs off a little unevenly, one of the sleeves wrinkled in on itself.
“Yeah, because it’ll look so much better if we come out of your dorm together at eight in the morning,” he chuckles while you walk into the bathroom to change shirts in peace.
“Don’t even think like that,” you shout. Then, you walk out, throwing the tank top at him (which he catches, unfortunately), feeling emboldened. “Everyone knows I wouldn’t fuck you.”
The smirk on your face is wiped away immediately when he grabs your wrist as you bend down to reach your bag. “Yeah? Do you know that?” he whispers. His whole demeanor shifts, gaze intense, grip strong but not painful. You attempt to force out a stammered reply, but admittedly, you’re flustered. Your own body is a traitor, clearly.
Thankfully, he releases your wrist and breaks the tension with a devilish laugh. “You’re so easy to fuck with,” he says, sounding completely like his usual irksome self.
Now that you had a glimpse of a different, enticing side of Chan, you craved more and hated yourself for it. After all, you had just said you would never fuck him. And you wouldn’t.
But can’t a girl just think about it?
You grabbed your bag successfully this time and slipped on a pair of shoes, heading out the door with him right behind.
“So why did you do this, exactly?” you question, still fighting off sleep yourself.
“When I commit to something, I go hard,” he explains, though it sounds like a double entendre. “So if we’re going to fake date, I’m gonna be the best damn fake boyfriend you ever had.”
How wonderful. You thought you were agreeing to get revenge against Jaehyun, not to fuel Chan’s ego. Maybe you’d need another fake boyfriend down the line just to knock him from the top spot.
“Well, good thing we probably won’t need to keep this up for very long. I’ve already had people text me asking what’s going on between us,” you click your tongue. “No Jaehyun though.”
“Poor guy’s probably losing his mind thinking his fuck-up made you realize you had repressed feelings for me all along.”
“Oh, I had feelings for you?”
“Well, yeah,” he shrugs. “That’s how my story goes, anyways.”
When you make it outside, he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you just a little bit closer. And now that you understand there’s no reasoning with him, you let him. It’s too early to argue, anyways, but you still roll your eyes where he can’t see.
“God, you’re insufferable. Can’t even give me some dignity in our fake love story,” you sneer.
“Okay, fine, I had feelings for you,” he relents, and for a second, it sounds like a fact, not a fabrication. “That sound better?”
You hum in approval, satisfied with the change. Whether he would actually follow through with it, you weren’t sure.
“So, are you gonna stay cooped up in your dorm this weekend, or are you going out?” Chan wonders, seemingly forgetting why you didn’t want to go to another party in the first place. They were kind of ruined for you at the moment, especially when you never really enjoyed them to begin with.
“I’m put off of parties for a while,” you wave your hands. “And I need to study, anyway.”
He squeezes your shoulder, displeased with your answer. “C’mon, Y/N, don’t let him ruin your fun,” he urges.
It was too late for that, though; all “fun” had been sucked out the moment you caught your boyfriend sucking face, and you knew he would probably be there, too. Just because he was playing the regretful, devastated ex in your texts didn’t mean he was depriving himself of his favorite pastime. You wouldn’t even be surprised if one of his “please forgive me, I’m so sorry, I miss you so much” texts had come while he was balls-deep in another woman.
“I’ll have plenty of fun in the library, thank you,” you shoot back.
“Oh? In public? Wow, princess, I didn’t know you were into stuff like that,” he grins, and you shove his arm off of you, staring at him in disgust.
“Oh my god, you’re a fucking freak!”
“I’m the freak? You’re the one that’s going to – ”
“Chan. Stop talking.”
“Okay, okay,” he throws his hands up defensively. “But just so you know, I don’t judge, and if you want some company…”
Fuck this smug bastard, and more importantly, fuck the way he was starting to get into your head.
The rest of the walk is relatively normal, at least in the sense there’s no more talk about public sex, and you reach your class promptly at 8:28.
“Well, have a good day,” he says a little awkwardly. “Let me know when you’re planning on grabbing lunch?”
“Unlikely,” you scoff, leaving him open-mouthed as you head inside.
So how you end up with Mina, Jihyo, and Chan at your usual lunch spot, you’re not sure.
“You guys missed it. Then she goes ‘fuck you, Jaehyun!’ and he looked terrified,” Chan laughs, and your friends join in, loving the cheater lashings.
“He did not look terrified,” you correct.
“She’s being modest. Even I felt a little intimidated,” he draws in a sharp breath, “but it was kinda hot, too.”
You’re not sure where that came from, and you kick his foot under the table where Mina and Jihyo can’t see. In return, he places his hand on your thigh, squeezing.
“You guys sure you’re faking this?” Jihyo questions, her chin resting on her hand while her eyes flicker between the two of you. Like she would be able to figure you out if she just looked hard enough. Impossible, considering you couldn’t even figure out what was going on at this point. He was still annoying, painfully so, but he was also alluring, and the heat between your legs was starting to do most of the thinking.
“Yes,” you and Chan say simultaneously, almost rehearsed.
“Right,” Mina nods, drawing out the word. “As long as you believe that.”
His hand moves now, rubbing along your thigh softly, and you have to grit your teeth to not snap at him. “I do believe it, because it’s true,” you say harshly (but not convincingly). “I’d rather drink a jean jacket through a fucking straw than actually date him.”
Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop his wandering hand; in fact, it only pushes him further, now sliding lower until his fingertips brush along the inside of your thigh. You shift awkwardly, keeping your eyes locked on your friends. You wouldn’t let him see that he was undoing you.
“I’m not particularly fond of you either, but a jean jacket through a straw is insane,” he smirks, finding enjoyment in your fidgeting.
“Then I guess it does a good job of conveying how much I can’t stand you.”
This time, you do snap your head towards him, eyes shooting daggers into him. They gave a silent warning, a threat he didn’t quite think you truly meant. After all, your body had a different message with the way your thighs clenched and shoulders stiffened.
“So sweet, isn’t she?” Chan smiles sarcastically, drawing his hand back. And you’re grateful – at least, that’s what you tell yourself, ignoring the small voice that said you wanted more. He reads something on his phone before typing quickly and rising from his seat.
“Anyway, thanks for the invite Y/N, but Minho’s locked himself out of the apartment, so I’ve gotta swing by before class,” he sighs dramatically.
“I absolutely didn’t invite you.”
“Sure you didn’t,” he winks, already gone before you can argue.
Once he’s out of earshot, Jihyo groans, covering her face with her hands. “God, I think if I’m subjected to that level of sexual tension again, I’ll actually pass away,” she huffs, muffled.
Bad time to take a sip of your drink.
“Sexual tension?!” you repeat, nearly choking, completely stunned by her words.
“We weren’t sure of it when you were with Jaehyun, but now it practically radiates through the air whenever you’re around each other. It’s suffocating,” Mina agrees, only adding to your embarrassment. Your face is heating up quickly, and it makes it hard to deny their accusations.
“Can you just hate-fuck and get it over with? Maybe you’ll find out you actually do get along in some ways,” Jihyo adds, exasperated.
You laugh dryly. “Oh my god, do you guys hear yourselves? I’m not having sex with Chan, that’s disgusting.”
“Well then can you two at least not make lunch feel like the build-up of a porno?”
Needless to say you would be informing him he could not join you and your friends for lunch anymore, lest you get lectured again on your “radiating” sexual tension.
By the time Friday comes, things have quieted. Chan listens when you tell him Mina and Jihyo requested your lunches stay reserved for the three of you (it’s not quite true, but the best excuse you could come up with without mentioning that your friends think you two want to fuck each other). So, you don’t see him much, aside from the couple of times he shows up outside your classes.
His texts, however, are frequent. They’ve developed into something expected, a normal part of your days. You talk about mundane things like grades and annoying lab partners. You talk about personal things like favorite songs and future goals. Each conversation is still filled with sarcastic quips and quick insults, but they don’t hold the same edge they once did. It felt more like comfort – like if you kept up the hatred act, you could protect yourself from what it was becoming.
And at the same time, the texts from Jaehyun had resumed because, although he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes, he had heard that you and Chan were seen together. On multiple occasions. He had even shown up at your dorm finally (the week of freedom you’d had was far longer than you’d expected), and you had slammed the door in his face, telling him it wasn’t any of his business who you hung out with anymore.
After that encounter, you were grateful for some peace – which was becoming rare in your life – throwing yourself nose-deep in your notebook. With your headphones on and such intense focus, you don’t notice anyone else’s presence.
Until someone makes their presence impossible to ignore.
“Hey, princess,” Chan greets, a cup of coffee in hand. He slips into the seat in front of you, placing the cup down and sliding it over. You have to pull your headphones back to hear him, eyebrows knitted in confusion.
“What are you doing here?” you ask.
He shrugs. “You said you were studying, I thought I would bring you some coffee to help your brain.”
He says it so calmly, and you have to fight against the way your heart swells at the simple act of service. Though really, it wasn’t so simple, because this was Chan showing up to the library unannounced on a Friday night, when he would usually be far away from anything academic. For you.
“Well, thanks, because I feel like my brain has basically disintegrated,” you complain, taking a sip. It was your favorite, too – he must’ve asked Mina or Jihyo for your order. “Did you skip out on the party?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling it. Kinda just wanted to chill tonight. I thought a library date might be fun,” he muses.
You scoff, watching his lips curl into a satisfied smile. “Date?”
Chan blinks at you like you’ve wounded him, although you know it’s all part of his (perfected) act to get into your head.
“You wouldn’t call it that?” he says, disappointedly, leaning his head against the palm of his hand.
“No, I’d call it me studying for hours and losing my mind and you showing up uninvited.”
He points behind him with his thumb, turning halfway in his seat, an empty threat. “So, should I leave then?” he challenges.
This is probably the part where you should say yes. You should demand it, actually. But he had brought you coffee, liquid gold for your overloaded brain, and the chances of him listening to your request were slim to none regardless.
“It’s fine,” you concede, hoping it sounded indifferent. You even shift your focus back to your laptop to play up the act, writing down “notes” that don’t quite make sense. Chan accepts this, tapping his fingers on the table obnoxiously, purposely so. After a few minutes, he straightens in his chair, leaning forward against the table.
“I must say,” he whispers, “I’m a little disappointed to find you actually studying. You had my hopes up the other day.”
It takes you a moment to recall that conversation, and once you do, the realization spreads across your face in red hues. “There is something seriously wrong with you,” you frown.
And there may have been something seriously wrong with you for enjoying it.
“Maybe. But I think you like it. You were basically writhing when I touched you at lunch.”
Now you know you definitely should have told him to leave. He pokes his tongue in his cheek, in that way that could drive you crazy if you let it (which you weren’t).
“No, I wasn’t,” you argue weakly.
He finds your denial cute, truly, since he remembers your body’s responsiveness so vividly. It was essentially engrained in his mind, spinning it in circles. He could elicit that reaction from just touching your clothed thigh, and it made him feel powerful. And curious.
“Oh, you weren’t?” he chuckles. “So if I come sit next to you now, that’d be fine? And if I touch you like that again, you wouldn’t start to melt under my fingers?”
“I did not melt under your fingers.”
“But you would have,” he says confidently. He drops his voice to a whisper again. “If your friends weren’t there, and I kept going, you would have.”
You’re staring at each other now, wondering who will break first, though his eyes shine with excitement and yours narrow with annoyance. Or rather, desire that you try to disguise as annoyance.
“You think too highly of yourself,” you snort, scribbling gibberish into the margin of your notebook.
He releases a small, humorless laugh. “I don’t need to think it,” he corrects. “You’ve shown me.”
You snap now, slamming your laptop shut a little too aggressively. Because you refused to allow him to continue talking with so much confidence, like he knew what you were thinking better than you did.
“I’m sorry, did you forget the part where none of this is real? All of your little touches and stupid remarks have nothing to do with what we agreed on.”
But your boldness only encourages him, biting his lip subconsciously. “No, they don’t. That’s just for my enjoyment. Like I said, you’re easy to fuck with.”
“That's why you decided to come see me in the library on a Friday night instead of going out? To ‘fuck with me?’” you say pointedly, to emphasize how unreasonable it sounded.
“Well, you didn’t tell me to leave.”
“I asked a question.”
Chan drags his hand along his face, suddenly far less arrogant. For once, he looked like he was struggling to conjure up a smart response. And he was. But you were refusing to back down, finally having a sense of control.
“I don’t know,” he finally says, and you glare at him. “Really, I don’t. I just wanted to see you.”
You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. “Don’t be dumb.”
Because there was no way he meant it. Or maybe you had misheard him entirely. But his whole demeanor had changed, and you no longer recognized the Chan that sat before you without his smugness.
“Right. If I tease you, I’m ‘insufferable,’” he recites, “if I’m honest with you, I’m dumb. Tell me, princess, what can I do then?”
You swallow harshly, trying to ignore what his words entailed. Honest. He said that he wanted to see you and he meant it. The air around you had shifted now, thicker, heavier, falling on your chest in a way that almost made your voice get caught in your throat.
“Are you fucking with me again?” you grimace, waiting for him to laugh in your face. To snap back into the version of him you’re familiar with.
But he doesn’t laugh. “You tell me. Am I?”
“You can’t do that!” you groan, exasperated. “You can’t say these things and then act all cryptic after.”
You cross your arms across your chest, and he relents. “Okay. Yes, I wanted to see you. Is that bad?”
“Yes.”
Yes, it was bad. Very bad, actually. Because you were supposed to hate him, and you thought he hated you. Because none of this was supposed to be real, and once you’d gotten vengeance against your shitty ex boyfriend (however dramatic it may be), things would go on like nothing had ever happened.
But is that what you wanted? It should be. It had to be.
“Huh. I guess I don’t care,” he breathes. “Do you?”
He awaits your answer, though he already knows what it will be. You had become easy for him to read now; he had studied you like you were his favorite subject. The unsolved puzzle he had finally pieced together.
And though you try to force yourself to lie and say yes, you simply cannot. All your resolve has vanished since he made such an unexpected confession, leaving you dazed.
“No,” you mumble, and your breath hitches.
His smirk returns, though it’s different now. Less of an attempt to get under your skin, more of an acknowledgement that one day he’ll get to touch every inch of it.
“Didn’t think so,” he reaches across the table, trailing his fingers along your hand. You snatch it back, ignoring his snickers.
He would be the death of you, you were certain. And for some reason, you find yourself thinking that it may not be such a terrible way to go out.
Neither of you are sure how to proceed after that night in the library, an obvious tension lingering between the two of you. You knew you weren’t going to be the one to address it, but you were growing exhausted with pretending that it had never happened.
It seemed like Chan was perfectly content with that, however. He hadn’t even mentioned it once, continuing to text you and show up outside your dorm and classes like it was all still part of a plan. And maybe it was. Maybe he was a great liar, but that didn’t explain the rift that had settled between you two. If he had lied that night, why could he hardly meet your eyes now?
You didn’t ask, because you feared the answer – both possibilities. Though when you turned to Mina and Jihyo for advice, they were adamant. They were convinced they were right all along, that there was a budding romance beneath the hatred. So, it was quite hard to get any sort of unbiased guidance from them. This was something you’d have to navigate on your own.
And by navigate, you meant continuing to avoid it. Hopefully Chan would crack before you did.
After almost two weeks of letting the unspoken words nearly suffocate you, you had begun to believe you really would have to forget it had ever happened. If he wanted to speak on it, he would. Nevermind that he could say the same thing about you; it was him that had started it, so he had to be the one to acknowledge it. It was only fair.
Your phone rings in the middle of the afternoon, during your thirty minute interval between classes. It’s Chan, which isn’t the surprising part (he had learned your entire schedule by now).
“Let me take you to dinner tonight,” he says only a few seconds after you pick up.
You roll your eyes, hardly registering his proposal. “A ‘hello’ might be nice.”
“Hi,” he utters. “Let me take you to dinner.”
If you agree too easily, he’ll know you had been waiting for him to say something like this. And with how straightforwardly he had asked (or stated, rather), he clearly expected your agreement. You could make him grovel just a little bit.
“You wanna see me again?” you quip, the most you’d allude to the library incident.
But Chan could match your attitude ten times over, so he has a quick retort. “I just figured if we go to dinner you could post a picture on your story, really commit to the bit,” he explains flatly, and then laughs when you’re silent. “What? You wanted me to say I want to see you?”
“Fuck you.”
“You said you wouldn’t,” he reminds. “Remember?”
If he could see you, he would undoubtedly point out how flustered you were, then follow it up with a dumb joke about how the offer was always open. And you would have to hold back from taking him up on it.
“Really doing a good job of making me want to say yes,” you chide.
“Please let me take you to dinner. I’ve been thinking about our library date, and I wanna take you on a real one.”
You huff loud enough for him to hear over the phone. “That wasn’t a date,” you correct. “And I’m busy tonight.”
A lie, but he didn’t need to know that yet. There’s shuffling on his end, and then his voice comes out sharply.
“Busy with what?”
“That’s really none of your concern,” you can’t help but grin at your own mischief. “But if you must know, I’m seeing someone tonight.”
“Y/N,” he growls, and it’s hot. You try to imagine the look on his face (why couldn’t he have FaceTimed you?), and it makes you weak.
“So, what time are you picking me up?” you ask, voice syrupy sweet despite your antics. Like honey masking poison.
He exhales loudly, and you can hear all the unease release from his body. If he was going to be so wound up about you even potentially seeing someone else, why had he taken so long to address your ever-present tension?
Maybe he was just as confused as you.
“You don’t know what you do to me,” he groans. “I’ll be there at seven.”
He hangs up before you can hound him about the first half, not even sparing a second to confirm the time. No, you don’t know what you do to him, but it was inevitable that you would find out. And he would make sure that you understood to the fullest extent.
It’s difficult for you to decide on an outfit for dinner with Chan, one, because you’re still tossing with the idea internally and two, because you aren’t sure what’s an “appropriate” amount of dressed-up. If you look too good, he’ll think you’re trying too hard to impress him, and you’ll never hear the end of that.
Though, you had already agreed to going to dinner with him, so you probably wouldn’t hear the end of that, either.
Mina and Jihyo choose an outfit over FaceTime (and so kindly remind you to “at least make him wear a condom”), one that teeters right in the middle of simple and dressy, and you’ve fixed your hair at least a dozen times by the time he’s knocking on your door.
When you open it, he stares at you, and then tears his eyes away to roam all over your body. He draws in a sharp breath, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Wow,” he rasps. “You’re beautiful.”
The compliment comes with no snarky follow-up, and he doesn’t even tease you when you feel your face heating up. He takes your hand and holds it the whole way to his car, only letting go to open the door for you; you would have never taken him for such a gentleman.
He doesn’t tell you which restaurant he’s picked, but the drive isn’t long before you arrive and are seated, his hand finding its way back to yours while you walk through the aisles.
As you sit there scanning the menu, you can’t help but realize you’re at fucking dinner with Bang Christopher Chan. And he’s staring at you like you wouldn’t notice.
“What?” you question, and he drops his head, chuckling.
“Nothing,” he says. “Just can’t believe how much things have changed.”
“You’re still annoying, don’t get it twisted.”
“Yeah, well, you still agreed to get dinner with me,” he shrugs.
He thinks he’s won with that, turning his attention to the menu. But even if he’s right, you aren’t letting him shame you so easily. “You would’ve begged me if I didn’t,” you smirk.
His eyes snap back to yours, the mischievous glint forcing him to fight back the more impure thoughts. “You know, that mouth is going to get you in trouble one day.”
“Yeah? By who?”
“Careful, Y/N,” he warns, words coming out through clenched teeth.
You flash him an exaggerated smile, thanking the waitress when she returns with your drinks, and Chan curses himself for being turned on by how quickly you switch from a temptress to the sweetest angel. He stumbles over his words while giving his order, and you giggle softly without even knowing you’re the cause of it.
Considering Chan had brought you to dinner, you felt confident enough to bring up the subject of what the hell was going on between you two. Specifically the Friday night you’d left unaddressed. “So, is it finally time we talk about it?”
“Talk about what?”
“This,” you motion between the two of you.
He doesn’t even pause to think about it. “We’re having dinner,” he replies coyly.
You figure admonishing him for his feigned ignorance won’t bring you closer to an answer, so instead you push further.
“But why?”
“I told you, you can post it on your story or whatever. I’m sure Jaehyun still stalks your socials.”
You’d seen quite a few random spam names in your story viewers, so you knew it to be true, but you also knew that couldn’t be his reasoning.
“You also told me you wanted to take me on a ‘real date,’” you mention, and he throws his head back against the booth.
“Jesus, Y/N,” he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can we just have a nice dinner and worry about the semantics later?”
Obviously, the answer was a resounding no, which he should have expected since he understood your stubbornness better than anyone. “Oh, for you to pretend it never happened and leave me wondering for weeks? Sure thing, Chan,” you sneer.
You probably should have excluded the part where you admitted you’d still been thinking about that night, because he latches onto it and uses it to evade answering any more questions.
“I really get in that pretty little head of yours, huh?” he grins.
“Or maybe I get in yours,” you shoot back. “What did you say? Something about ‘I don’t know what I do to you’?”
He rubs his jaw, exhaling through his nose loudly. Because you really didn’t know what you do to him.
“Princess, you don’t get into my head. You’ve never fucking left it.”
Your food is brought over moments later, right on cue, leaving you sitting idly, stunned. Chan pretends not to notice, already moving past his previous admission.
“God, I am starving,” he groans. He takes a bite of his meal, and then blinks at you when you haven’t even slightly shifted. “What’s wrong? You wanna take that picture for your story now?”
If you heard the word “story” one more time, you were convinced you’d actually implode. And you’d take him with you, just to annoy him in the afterlife.
“Don’t do that,” you hiss. “Don’t act clueless.”
“Well sorry for trying to be a believable fake boyfriend.”
Nothing about this felt fake anymore, and when he says it, it feels like a harsh reminder. That vicious awakening from the middle of a good dream, pulled to the surface of reality when you’re in such a deep slumber.
“That’s all you are, right? My fake boyfriend? So why do you say and do all these things that make it feel so real?” you demand.
Your meals are all but forgotten now, and the booths around you are probably getting more of your argument than any of you would like. You swear you can see the lady in the booth to your right staring at you and then leaning over to whisper in her daughter’s ear. Hopefully she’d give her some advice to never get involved with idiotic men like Chan.
He rubs his temples, growing more exhausted by the minute. “I’m trying to figure that out. I came up with a stupid plan, and somewhere along the way the lines got blurred.”
“You blurred them!” you whisper-shout, eyes widening in disbelief.
“You let me,” he says simply, and you can’t deny it. Though he’s still far more culpable for your current situation. “Listen, we can talk about it more on the way home, yeah?”
It’s his cop-out, and you should know this, yet you relent anyway. You aren’t surprised when he refuses to discuss it further in the car, either, and when he tries to put his hand on your thigh, you push it away.
He deserves that, but it still makes him sulk internally. If he couldn’t offer you answers, you wouldn’t offer him any more of yourself. At least, you’d try your best not to (easy to say, harder to do).
When he drops you off, you hardly give him a goodbye, so he knows he’s fucked up. His chest tightens at the thought of not being able to make it right. Of letting you go without telling you everything he’s been thinking for the last month.
He isn’t even sure you’ll give him another chance, but he figures he needs to sort his mind out before he faces you again, for both of your sakes.
The texts slow and then stop altogether, and you don’t see him at all for another week. Maybe you had pushed him enough that he had been scared off (still, he could at least fake break up with you). Though you had never taken Chan for someone who could be scared of anything, especially with his constant arrogance.
“That’s just how men are. They run when shit gets too real,” Jihyo says, fixing her top.
The three of you were currently getting ready in your dorm, because the minute you had texted the groupchat stating that you were desperate for a night out, they were basically busting your door down. And you couldn’t blame them, because you were never the one to initiate, but right now, it seems like the only distraction you have left.
“I think he’s just a little confused,” Mina adds with more eloquence. “I mean, do you even know what you want?”
“Yes,” you grin. “I want to go out, have a good time, and forget about all of this.”
Mina rolls her eyes at your avoidance, and Jihyo clutches her heart dramatically. “My Y/N is so back, I could cry right now.”
You know very well that a party is not the magical cure for all your problems – in fact, it’s the indirect cause of nearly all of them – but your other option was to spend another weekend in your dorm preparing an internal monologue about Chan’s cowardice. So, yes, you were going to a party.
“You know they’re both probably going to be there, right?” Mina advises. Both of the banes of your existence, though for drastically different reasons.
“It’s fine,” you wave her off. “I won’t even notice that they’re there”
Between the three of you, there’s not a soul that believes your lie, but nobody questions it.
Though perhaps they should have, because maybe it would have made you reconsider before you ended up in your current situation. Which was searching through a sea of bodies for one particular person, even if you weren’t sure what you would do if you found him.
Mina notices, too, watching as your eyes sweep all along the room while nodding every once in a while, pretending to be engaged in the conversation. You really hadn’t caught a single word she’d said for the past three minutes.
And although there were plenty of people there, you were confident you’d be able to spot Chan out of a crowd. But so far, there was no sign of him, and you couldn’t decide if you were relieved or disappointed.
Unfortunately, however, you had spotted Jaehyun. In the back of the room, looking completely untouched, sipping on a drink with his friends on one side and a girl on the other. But he looked disinterested, not paying her any mind, nodding along indifferently. He looked like you, searching for someone amidst the chaos.
“Y/N!” Mina barks, and you turn to her immediately. “Are you even listening at all?”
“Uh, yeah,” you lie.
She throws her hands on her hips, eyebrows raised. “Really? So what do you think, should I go over there and talk to him?”
She points to the left of you, but there’s at least five guys in the general vicinity she could be referring to. Of course, you’d know who she meant if you hadn’t been so checked out while looking for Chan.
“Um, who?” you ask carefully, and she groans, frustrated. “I’m sorry! I think I need another drink. To clear my head.”
You take off for the kitchen before she can argue, the counters covered in discarded solo cups and half-empty bottles of alcohol. Tempting. Instead, you open the fridge, pulling out one of the remaining unopened cans.
When you turn around, you’re stuck in place, a firm chest blocking you from walking away. You’re about to complain, to remind whoever it is that there’s a thing called personal space, but one look up has the words refusing to come out. It’s Jaehyun, of course.
“Y/N,” he falters, studying your face as if he’d forgotten your features.
Your heart races, not from anything other than the discomfort of confronting someone who you once thought the world of.
“Leave me alone, Jaehyun,” you spit, and he steps back, granting you some space and the freedom to walk away if you so choose. But you don’t, not yet.
He takes note of your stillness, encouraging him to speak again. “I will,” he nods. “But you haven’t given me a chance to explain, and I need you to know how much I regret what I did.”
“Yeah, well, good for you.”
He sighs, and a quiet moment passes between you, one that makes you picture him kissing that girl all over again.
“Are you with him?” he asks, under his breath. You stare at him with feigned confusion, lips pressed in a taut line. This time, he speaks louder, intentionally. “Don’t play dumb, Y/N, please. Are you with Chan?”
“I don’t owe you anything.”
“You don’t. But I owe you an explanation, and if you’re with Chan…” he trails, and it sends you over the edge. You tell yourself your anger rises up solely because of Jaehyun, but it’s undeniable that half of it comes from all you’d bottled up during the days without Chan around.
“Then what? Then it doesn’t matter? You cheating on me just gets justified because I’m with Chan?” you snap, voice increasing in volume with each word. “Guess what, Jaehyun, your fuck-up is to blame for all of it.”
Even with the thumping music, your voice carries throughout the room, and a few people glance over, intrigued. Someone pushes through the crowd, entering the kitchen right as Jaehyun opens his mouth to argue back.
“Is everything okay over here?”
Both of you look over, though you don’t need to to recognize the voice. It had become your favorite, even when it was teasing you or whispering innuendos just to unnerve you.
“Chan,” you whisper, and he heads straight for you, ignoring Jaehyun’s unwavering glare.
In a few quick steps, he’s beside you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him like he hadn’t ignored you for a week. “Hey, baby. Are you alright?” he asks, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
Baby. That was a new one. He had called you princess more times than you could count, but it had started as a taunt and never really felt like anything more than that. Baby, however, had your heart pounding and mind racing.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you swallow, finding more interest in the ground now. For a second, you forget all about Jaehyun in front of you, and it reminds you that Chan’s actions are probably directly correlated. After all, the original plan was to get back at Jaehyun, and what better moment than right now? The final act to your months-long play.
“So you two are together,” Jaehyun concludes, frowning.
“Don’t look so upset,” Chan grins wickedly. “I’ll treat her better than you ever could.”
Try not to take his words seriously, you remind yourself. He doesn’t mean it. This is all for show. But as always, he makes them sound real, adding a layer of intensity you can’t ignore.
“You’re not good enough for her.”
You’re about to chime in, to remind him he has no say in what or who is good enough for you, and that it was rich hearing that from him of all people.
“And you were?” Chan laughs humorlessly. “C’mon, baby, let’s get out of here, yeah?”
He squeezes your shoulder, looking down at you, waiting for your agreement. And as you glance between him and Jaehyun, something takes over you entirely. You pull his face towards yours, hesitating briefly to gauge his reaction. When he closes the final inches, your eyes flutter closed, his lips crashing onto yours.
It’s quick, soft, restrained, and not at all like what you expected (or wanted) kissing Chan to be, but it serves its purpose.
Jaehyun stands there, wordlessly, the most satisfying look of outrage plastered on his face. Chan sees it, too, a small chuckle leaving his parted lips. He’ll probably burn the image in his mind to remember it whenever he needs a pick-me-up.
And while you’re a blend of emotions between the kiss, facing Jaehyun, and Chan’s declaration, you keep yourself together for now, yanking Chan’s hand to lead him away. “Yeah, let’s go.”
You maneuver through bodies, making it to a noticeably more empty section of the house before you finally release his hand. If you’re lucky, he’ll go back to ignoring you, and you won’t have to discuss whatever just unfolded.
Unfortunately, you haven’t had much luck recently.
“Bold move there, baby,” he quips.
There it was again. Only this time, Jaehyun’s not around, so there’s no explaining away the pet name. Does that make it better or worse? You aren’t sure.
“Shut up,” you mumble, “I really don’t want to be here anymore.”
Your night out had been ruined, and you swore you’d be done with parties for good. At least in your dorm you could save yourself from running face to face with anyone who either cheated on you or refused to share their feelings.
“I’ll take you home,” Chan states, not offers.
“I’m not getting in a car with you. You’ve been drinking.”
It was an assumption, but a reasonable one. Though clearly incorrect, because he quirks an eyebrow and shakes his head immediately. “I haven’t had a drop of alcohol, actually,” he refutes, now pulling his keys out of his pocket and swinging them around his finger.
So much for that excuse.
“Whatever.”
He takes this as your reluctant surrender, now grabbing your hand and leading you to his car which was only a little ways down the street. And despite the kiss, you still had nothing to say to him – or rather, way too much to say to him, and no desire to say it if he wouldn’t talk first. So a thick silence falls between you, leaving you with just the lingering feeling of his lips on yours.
“Quiet today,” he comments, stealing a glance you don’t return. You keep your head pressed against the window, a dull headache already forming from the night’s events and the alcohol.
“I’m still mad at you,” you grumble.
His hands grip the steering wheel a little tighter, tongue swiping across his teeth. “I know,” he mutters.
“And I think I hate you again.”
“Well, the ‘again’ gives me some hope,” the corners of his lips tug upwards. “Means I had you on my side for a little, at least.”
“You did. Until you wouldn’t talk to me and ran like a coward,” you insult, watching his shoulders drop and smile fade as fast as it had come. You almost regret saying it. Because all your insults before had been quick, meaningless jabs that he could brush off. This one came with intent, a bitterness that wouldn’t be forgotten seconds later.
“Yeah, I deserve that,” he sighs. “We’ll talk soon, okay? When you’re not tipsy and overwhelmed.”
“I don’t believe you,” you say flatly, still not lifting your head from the glass.
He reaches across the console for your hand, rubbing his thumb against your skin. “I mean it this time. Because I’ve been going crazy without you. And that kiss just sealed the deal.”
“Please,” you scoff, forced. “It was hardly a kiss.” Hardly. Your minimization of it wasn’t wrong in a literal sense; it was short-lived, lacking the passion you knew you both had within. But regardless, it had completely hijacked your brain, so clearly it wasn’t hardly anything.
“I know. That’s the problem. I need more.”
Now, you turn towards him, trying to decipher his expression. It’s unreadable for once, devoid of that familiar smirk. You want to tell him if he needs more to take it, that he can have everything he wants if he just says the words. But those words don’t come, not tonight, and you close your eyes against the window once more.
Before you leave for your dorm, he reaches for your hand again, pulling it to his lips.
“Soon, I promise.”
You nod, trying to believe him, though you wonder if it would hurt less if you don’t.
You didn’t particularly like loose ends.
That’s why after weeks of dangling a fake relationship in Jaehyun’s face and the culmination of it all at the party the night prior, you decided to confront him fully and at least hear what he had to say before you closed the chapter for good. You didn’t owe that to him, certainly not, but you felt like you owed it to yourself. An explanation for why he did it to quell the thoughts that had never completely gone away. Which he also said he owed you, anyways.
And perhaps this was all amplified by the fact that most of the day had passed and there was no text, no call, no anything from Chan. He had only said “soon,” not “tomorrow,” but still. Some form of acknowledgement would be enough to placate you, but he hadn’t even spared you that.
So, with a final layer of lipgloss, you considered your makeup complete and mentally prepared yourself for the impending doom. You looked irresistible at least, everything Jaehyun could never have again.
But nothing could ever go to plan (once again, luck hadn’t exactly been on your side), so you aren’t shocked when a knock on your door disrupts your evening.
“Hi, princess,” Chan grins when you swing it open. Then, his eyes trail down your body, tugging his lip between his teeth subconsciously. “You look good.”
Well fuck. Why did he have to show up now? A text in advance might have saved you from unintentionally double-booking yourself, or maybe you’re at fault for assuming Chan was ghosting you again today.
“Thanks,” you smile half-heartedly, heading back to your mirror to look yourself over once more. It’s far too awkward to face Chan knowing you’re about to go see your ex, especially when you and Chan had almost established…something. Something real, beyond the pseudo-relationship.
He senses that you’re withholding something, watching you suspiciously. “Going out?” he questions, and you curse under your breath. Bracing for the storm.
“Something like that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
His tone is already accusatory and you hadn’t even dropped the bomb yet, so you really had to prepare yourself for his reaction. At best, he would storm out and you could deal with it later, after you had dealt with Jaehyun. At worst, you’d have a full-blown argument in your dorm right before the other inevitable argument you’d have with Jaehyun.
“I’m going over to Jaehyun’s,” you say softly, guilt washing over you when his face drops instantly. But you didn’t need to feel guilty – you were allowed to seek closure, especially when Chan hadn’t yet granted you transparency. Still, you can’t help but wonder if you were making the right choice.
Chan’s blood runs cold, and he waits for you to laugh in his face, to tell him how dumb he looks when he’s angry. Something snarky, something annoying. Something. Anything. He doesn’t care, as long as it means you aren’t currently getting dolled up to go see your cheating fuck of an ex boyfriend.
Instead, you say nothing, shifting on your feet uncomfortably.
“Y/N, you can’t be serious.”
“I’m just hearing him out,” you say flatly. “I don’t think that’s a crime.”
“No, it’s not a crime, but Jesus fucking Christ, you’re looking like that to go ‘hear him out?’”
You look down at yourself, a lacy bodysuit and skirt adorning your body – not to appeal to him, not at all, but to remind him what he had lost. Was it a little melodramatic? Maybe. Were you allowed to be melodramatic when confronting someone who had made you question if you weren’t enough? Definitely.
“Yes! What’s wrong with that?!”
“Everything is wrong with that!”
“Oh my god, Chan, you got what you wanted,” you throw your hands up in frustration, “I’m sure you’ll never forget the look on his face when he saw us kiss last night.”
“You think his face is what I was thinking about after we kissed, Y/N?” he asks incredulously. “I was thinking about you, only you, and how right it felt.”
Was this his confession? It was beginning to feel like it. If only it hadn’t come at such a horrible time and in such a horrible way, maybe you would be happier. Now, the words sucked the air out of your lungs, leaving you speechless and uncertain.
“So fuck what I wanted back then. What I want right now is for you to realize you deserve better than someone who broke your heart and your trust in the worst way possible,” he finishes, holding himself back from pulling you into his arms and screaming that it’s him. He’s the one who will give you everything you deserve; he’ll make it his life’s purpose to do so.
“I’m just hearing him out,” you repeat again, emphatically, though no matter how true it was or how believable you made it sound, Chan refuses to accept it.
“Right,” he scoffs, running his hand through his hair. “Can’t wait to see you two all over each other in the corner of every party again.”
You open your mouth to argue, but he’s already heading for the door, unable to take another second of seeing your face and knowing you won’t be his.
“Hope it works out, Y/N.”
The door rattles as he slams it shut, and the room feels colder, emptier. And not just because of Chan’s physical absence, but because of what it entails. The same man who you hated - and who you swore hated you - had made you feel more seen and valued in not even two months than Jaehyun had in nine. He had put more effort into a fake relationship than Jaehyun had put in a real one. You were letting that go for some semblance of closure from someone who broke you.
Previously, you had tried to convince yourself your feelings had never become real. That of course your heart would beat a little faster when Chan would remember things about you, that of course you would like the way pet names fell from his lips, that of course you couldn’t stop thinking about him in every single way possible, from pure to downright filthy. This all made sense, of course, because he was the hot guy you were faking a relationship with. It had nothing to do with Chan, and everything to do with your body and mind being too receptive of what you’d been deprived of before.
But you simply couldn’t lie to yourself any longer. And that’s why, for once, you knew what you needed to do. You type out another message to Jaehyun, deliberating each word carefully. It would be the last you’d ever give him, at least in this capacity, where he still felt like he had a small chance at getting you back.
actually, i’m not coming over. i thought about it, and nothing you say can make me forget what you did…i didn’t deserve that, jaehyun.
i know what i deserve now.
i hope you learn from this and treat the next girl better.
His texts come in quick succession, frantic pleas and apologies and then the angry ones regarding Chan. You don’t answer him or even give him the solace of knowing you’d read them. Instead, you turn your phone on DND and throw it behind you, hoping it’ll get lost in your bed sheets.
And though you’ve done the right thing, there’s still the unavoidable grief over something that once was. The only person you want comfort from right now is Chan, but you know you should give yourself the space to reflect and process properly. He probably wants some time away from you, anyways.
So you don’t call or text him. You avoid all the spots you know he frequents. You make yourself as nonexistent to him as possible. And worst of all, he doesn’t even come searching.
There’s no way for you to know how badly he wants to see your name pop up at the top of his screen, or how he waits for you outside the library on days he knows you usually study. You don’t know that he stayed up late that first night, hoping you’d call him. Each notification made his heart jump, and after the eighth one that wasn’t from you, he finally turned his phone off completely.
He didn’t want space, nor time. He wanted you. And beyond that, he wanted you to know you deserved more - that he would give you more. But he can’t fault you for any of this; he can only blame himself for not telling you sooner.
When a week goes by and it’s still silence on your end, he figures you’d forgiven Jaehyun and taken him back. And that’s just something he’d have to live with.
The days pass by slowly, monotonously, and though you argue with Mina and Jihyo that it’s healing, they complain that you’re just wallowing in needless despair (“Girl, get your man,” had been the phrase of the week).
And you wanted to, but you weren’t sure how to face him after the way you’d left things. There was a gnawing worry that he wouldn’t answer your calls or texts, so you don’t even try. No, you decide you’ll just have to show up at his apartment, and yes at nine o’clock at night, because you couldn’t put it off any longer. The yearning was almost consuming you.
Though Chan had been to your dorm multiple times, you had never been to his apartment; it was way less convenient to go off-campus where he lived. You had to get Chan’s address from his roommate, Minho, who you had already known from a shared class last semester. And he had also texted you a few times begging you to do something about Chan’s moping, because it was “making his life miserable.”
While it was off-campus, it wasn’t far, and your determination was enough to ward off the apprehension of walking alone at night (though Chan would definitely not be pleased). Still, you kept Jihyo on the phone for the whole fifteen minutes, slight reassurance for both of you.
You can barely bring yourself to knock when you arrive, feeling much less composed now that you were actually there, separated from Chan by only a door and thin walls. Your fist meets the wood without you fully realizing it, and it swings open with ferocity moments later.
“Hi,” you choke out, all of your composure gone when he’s standing before you.
“Y/N?” he asks, blinking in awe to confirm that you’re real. He’d started to accept that your presence in his life was a thing of the past, a treasured memory he’d hold onto. “What are you – Jesus, it’s so dark out. Come on, get inside.”
He reaches for your arm and drags you inside, leading you all the way to his room; Minho’s home, and Chan doesn’t quite want him to hear the moment the girl he’s been losing his mind over ends things for good. Is “end things” even the right term, since there had never been a defined “thing” in the first place?
His room is not much different from any other college student’s room, with books and papers sprawled on the desk and empty energy drink cans filling the trashcan. But it’s his, and that makes your heart swell a little.
“I can’t believe you walked all the way here this late,” he scolds. He gestures for you to take a seat on his bed, and when he sits in his chair across from you, you deflate a little at the distance.
“I had to see you,” you whisper.
He clicks his tongue, trying not to melt at your words. Because to him, you’re with Jaehyun, and there’s probably some other rational explanation for why you’d shown up at his apartment at nine o’clock. He doesn’t know what it could be, but it exists, surely. “You know if you had texted me I would’ve been there in minutes,” he asserts.
“Actually, I didn’t know that,” you correct, folding your arms over your chest, “considering the way you stormed out last time we saw each other.” Which may have been justified, but still.
“Can you blame me? You told me you were going to see your ex boyfriend who cheated on you, by the way. And then you didn’t even bother to call or text, so what was I supposed to think?”
“You could’ve called or texted me!”
“I thought you went back to him!”
He stands, chest rising and falling heavily, and he looks so distraught your anger fades. “I didn’t,” you say, softer now. “I didn’t even see him that night. We haven’t even spoken since. Or I guess that’s not totally true, he’s spammed me and I’ve ignored him.”
His eyes soften, and he crosses those few feet to sit beside you, mattress dipping under the added weight. “Why?”
There’s a million ways to answer that question, and you aren’t sure which is the right one. So you go with what flows naturally, not giving it a second thought.
“Because I realized I need more too,” you confess. “No more pretending, no more lies.”
Though your chest feels lighter with the confession, the room feels smaller and your throat tighter because Chan doesn’t speak, or move, you don’t even think he blinks. He doesn’t mean to stare at you like this, but you’ve left him stunned with words he’d only ever heard in his dreams, and he worries if he speaks he’ll wake up and you’ll be gone again.
You start to rise from the bed, fighting back tears of rejection and humiliation. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come – ”
His hand latches around your wrist, gently yet firmly, and you fall back to the bed with a quiet gasp.
“I haven’t been pretending. Not for a while now,” he breathes, and now you’re the silent one. “You’re right, I was a coward. I’ve wanted you so badly and I didn’t know how to say it.” He cups your cheek, thumb brushing along the skin faintly, confirmation that you and this moment are very real. “I should’ve told you everything. How much I think about you, how much I hate it when you’re not here.”
There’s hardly any space between you now, foreheads nearly touching, breaths intertwining.
“How I can’t get that kiss out of my head,” he exhales. “How selfish I feel for wanting more.”
You shake your head. “You’re not selfish,” you whisper, and the corners of his lips twitch into a smile.
“I am, because I want you all to myself.”
“Then you have me,” you say simply, as though such a claim wouldn’t change everything. You’ve had me without even knowing.
He can’t hold back anymore – he’s done enough of that over the past month – because those words are his absolute undoing.
“Can I kiss you right this time?” His eyes drop to your lips, awaiting, begging for your permission.
You nod eagerly, and that’s all it takes for him to place his hand along your jaw and draw your face towards his. His lips melt into your own, this time with all the passion you’d both held back before.
And while the kiss starts soft, tender, moving against each other with the carefulness of a blooming love, it quickly plunges into desperate desire. Your fingers thread through his hair, delicately at first, until you tug at the roots and he groans into your mouth.
That sound. That devilish, sinful sound. It causes the heat within your core to grow tenfold, and you kiss him more fervently now, tongues swirling together. He sucks your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging gently, then drops his head to your neck.
And when your head tilts instinctively, offering him more skin to mark as his, he can’t help but smirk because he loves having this effect on you. He’d realized it that day at lunch, when he couldn’t do anything but skim your thigh under the table. But you were offering, so who was he not to take? He nips at the skin and runs his tongue along each spot afterwards, soothing, claiming.
“Mine,” he mumbles against your neck, and then he kisses his way back up to your lips, mouth hovering over your own.
“Chan,” you rasp, “I want you.”
His lips crash against yours once more, because he can’t help himself when you’ve just said you want him so desperately. “Yeah? You want me, baby?” he asks, breathless.
You shiver when his fingers slip under the hem of your shirt, tracing circles along your waist. “Yes,” you sigh, and then louder, “yes, God, I want you.”
He grips your waist, only sheer will keeping him from ripping off your clothes and fucking you right then and there. Because he wants to savor every last moment of this, but some small part of him is going feral – not a devil on his shoulder, but his throbbing cock trying to push through the seams of his boxers. So actually not a small part, because he’s big, you can see the imprint in his sweatpants.
“Are you sure?” he questions. “Because if you want me, that’s it. There’s no more Jaehyun, no more anyone else.”
Was he genuinely asking, or just trying to make you fall apart? You can’t tell, but you’re so needy, you answer regardless.
“I don’t want anyone else.”
His hands hook under your shirt while he guides you onto his lap, and you raise your arms for him to pull it off while you settle against him. He pauses, drinking in the sight – you haven’t even taken your bra off yet – and then his palms find your breasts, massaging through the fabric.
“You’re so beautiful,” he says, thumbs flicking over your covered nipples. The moan it elicits is so delicious that he does it again, and then again, cock twitching in his sweatpants.
“You only think that ‘cause I’m shirtless,” you quip, toying with the hem of his like you needed to make things even.
“No,” he says firmly. “Always thought you were the prettiest fucking girl ever.” He reaches behind his neck, yanking his tank top up and over his head, and you swear your breathing stops momentarily. This is what he’d hidden behind t-shirts and hoodies (and that jacket you still hadn’t given back to him), and honestly, how dare he?
But you can’t focus on that a moment longer, because he dips his head down to press his lips against the tops of your breasts hungrily, dragging wet kisses all the way to your sternum. “So fucking pretty,” he repeats, fingers unclasping your bra and tugging the straps down.
His mouth is on you again before it even hits the ground, like he’ll keel over and die if he isn’t tasting you, and right now, he really thinks he might. So, for survival, he wraps his lips around your perked nipple, tongue swirling around it, then flicking.
Each careful movement of his tongue causes your breath to hitch, hips rutting against him for any sort of friction, and he moans against you. His hands grip your waist, stilling your movements, and as a punishment – if you could call it that – he bites gently and tugs the sensitive bud between his teeth.
“Chan,” you moan, and when you feel the curl of that signature smirk, you become emboldened. “Who knew your mouth could actually be useful?”
Because although you definitely didn’t hate him now, you could at least reflect on that history, if not just to drive him a little wild. And hopefully he’d fuck you just a little bit harder.
He growls then, his hand sweeping along your side to squeeze your other breast, kneading the soft skin in his palm. And when you least expect it, his hand comes down, slapping your breast with enough force to make you gasp.
“Fuck, I’m gonna miss that smart mouth of yours. Always thought it was so hot the way you’d act like you actually hated me,” he chuckles, now massaging the skin.
“I did hate you,” you rasp. You aren’t even sure if that’s true anymore, because you can’t think. His cock pressing into you has your mind in a frenzy. One where your only thoughts are of having him inside you, stretching you open, filling you up.
When he lifts his head from your breasts, his eyes are dark, lidded, and boring right through you. Daring you to say it again. To lie and see where it gets you.
“You sure?” he whispers, tauntingly. “Because I always saw that look in your eyes.” His fingers dip lower, slipping into your panties, and he laughs when you shudder. “Deep down, you wanted to know all the filthy things I could do to this gorgeous body.”
Maybe you did. It matters little what you wanted back then, because you could only think of what you wanted right now, and his fingers were drifting dangerously close to it. But he was playing with you, not bringing them any further, waiting for your admission.
“You flatter yourself,” you whisper. The wrong answer, clearly, because he pulls his fingers away, gripping your chin now. Forcing you to look at him, because he knows you won’t be able to keep up the act if he’s staring at you so intensely.
“Say it’s not true then,” he orders.
You should be able to say it. You should be able to look him in the eyes and tell him he was once everything you wanted no part of. But he starts peppering open-mouthed kisses along your neck again, unfairly, and your voice betrays you. “It’s not true,” you mumble weakly.
Your fingers fly to his hair and tangle at the strands, but he won’t let you off that easily. Of course not. He grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks between his fingers.
“No,” he growls. “Say it like you mean it.”
His commands only add to the ache between your legs, and you accept that you can’t win. Your silence tells him everything, and he releases, hand patting your cheek like he pitied you. “That’s what I thought,” he hums, satisfied.
Your breathing becomes ragged when his hand trails down again, and this time you’re sure that he’ll relent and give you what your body was craving. Or maybe that was just you trying to convince yourself.
“You never hated me. You hated that you knew I was better than your boyfriend,” he smirks, slipping his fingers into your jeans. They drag down, slowly, finally stopping right at your core. “You hated that you wanted to know what it would feel like if I touched you here,” he taunts, rubbing your pussy through the soaked fabric of your panties.
“Shit, you’re this wet for me?” he groans, fingers gliding up and down, pressing harder when they pause at your clit. “I guess I was right, then.”
Any other time you would have been able to throw something sarcastic right back at him, but not now, not when he was teasing you like this. It was the closest he’d gotten to touching you where you so desperately needed him, and your hips buck unwittingly again. “Please, Chan. Need you,” you moan.
“Yeah, I know baby,” he coos. “Don’t worry. I’ll show you everything I’ve been dreaming about doing to you.”
And then you’re pushed off of him and onto the bed, hitting the sheets with a quiet squeal. The same fingers that had been rubbing your clothed pussy now hurriedly unbutton your jeans, and you lift off the bed slightly to help him drag them down along with your panties.
Once you’re completely naked before him, his movements lull, now taking in every inch of exposed skin.
You feel like you’re drowning under his eyes, because the last person to see you like this had betrayed you, had touched someone that wasn’t you. This was the reality of infidelity – the insecurity, the nagging, cruel insecurity that seeped into places it shouldn’t. Because Chan would never.
And he sees it, too. The way you begin to falter and drift elsewhere. Your head turning against the pillow, refusing to face him.
“Hey,” he whispers, cupping your jaw, pulling your face back towards him. “Where’d you go, baby? Don’t hide from me, please.”
You swallow harshly, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “Not hiding. Just…worried I’m not enough,” you mumble, and the words break him. He hated Jaehyun before, but he despises him now, because he made you – who he considered the most beautiful girl to ever grace the earth, even when you were calling him an idiot – feel less than. And that’s something Chan would spend the rest of his life undoing if he had to.
His thumb strokes your skin now, trying to wipe away the remnants of anyone’s touch that wasn’t his. “No, stop that. You’re more than enough. You’re perfect,” he says.
Your cheeks heat up from the affirmations, and he kisses you to cement them. But it's short, subdued, as he moves further down, lips grazing your neck, your chest, then your navel. He sinks lower, hovering right above your cunt, spreading your legs apart.
“So perfect for me,” he breathes, and you can feel the air hitting against you. “You’re mine now. You won’t have to worry about anyone else ever again.”
The words can barely sink in before his tongue is on you, licking a slow, tantalizing stripe between your folds. It’s so sudden that your hips lift off the bed, and his hands come quick, wrapping around your thigh and pinning you down. He swipes his tongue again, and then he takes as much of your pussy into his mouth as he can, devouring what had been kept from him for too long.
“Fuck, Chan, please,” you moan, grabbing at his hair for something to ground you. He groans into you, both from your fingers tugging and the sound of you moaning his name like that.
“You taste so fucking good,” he rasps. His lips wrap around your clit, sucking the sensitive nub hard, tugging, releasing. Then, he swirls his tongue, creating a pattern that has your back arching, threatening to come undone.
You’d thought about this. Lonely nights in your dorm, touching yourself at the thought of how he would look between your legs, about how his tongue would feel against you. But there was no way to anticipate this. He lapped at your pussy like he was starved and you were the only meal he’d get again. He’d like that, truthfully.
Your body is trembling by the time he draws his head back, and the lack of his warm tongue causes you to whine. “Patience, princess,” he coos.
Before you can beg him to touch you again, he spits directly onto your cunt, letting his fingers spread it as if your slick wasn’t enough. And the action is so erotic, so filthy that your thighs clench involuntarily and he has to hold them open.
Two fingers push inside you, and his tongue is back, flicking your clit with urgency. He pumps them languidly, curling them against your g-spot and then pulling back until you’re almost empty. His name leaves your mouth through choked cries and it only drives him further, because he needs you to unravel just like this. His tongue circles your clit in rhythm with his fingers, hitting your sweet spot with each pump, and his pace quickens when he can tell you’re close.
“Chan, please don’t stop!” you pant. “Fuck, I’m so close.”
It’s all too much - his fingers, his tongue, the lewd noises of them bringing you to the edge. “Go on, baby, give it to me,” he coaxes. “Come on my tongue for me, just like that.”
With his permission (which was much more of a plea), you let go, throwing your head back against the pillow. Your whole body comes alive with the intensity of your orgasm, ripping through you in currents while he continues lapping at your pussy lazily. It’s only when he pulls his fingers out for the final time and sucks them clean that you come down, chest heaving.
“My mouth sure is useful, huh?” he teases, laughing when you roll your eyes.
His laughter is cut short when you sit up on your knees and tug at the waistband of his sweatpants, head lowering. Your intentions are clear, but he grips your shoulder, halting your movements.
“No, no, princess, it’s okay,” he huffs, using his last bit of self-restraint. He can’t believe he’s turning down head from you, but right now, being buried inside you is his priority.
You can’t believe it either, blinking up at him sweetly, eyes wide with confusion. “But I wanna return the favor,” you pout.
Jesus, were you an angel from above or a succubus from the depths of hell, he wonders?
“Fuck, I know, baby,” he groans. “But I need to be inside you, right now.”
He sounds so desperate that you feel like you’re in control now, and you reach for his cock through his sweatpants. Wrapping your fingers around it, stroking softly. “You wanna fuck me, Channie?” you purr.
“Yes,” he growls, grabbing your wrist – all your control, gone. “You want it too, don’t you baby?” He stands, ridding himself of his sweats and boxers at once. His cock springs free, precum beading on the tip, and he cages you against the bed. “Or can you not take it? Hm? Is one all this pretty pussy can give me?”
The flip switches in you instantly, arms slithering around his neck, yanking him to you. His lips crash onto yours, all teeth and tongue, both of you at your neediest. When your hand slips down to stroke him, thumb spreading precum along his length, he lets out a low guttural sound into your mouth.
“Baby, shit, you’re killing me,” he rasps.
“Can you die inside me, at least?”
That he could do. Happily. Willingly. He reaches over you, pulling open a drawer and rummaging inside. And though you shouldn’t, you bring your hand to his wrist, stopping him.
“I’m on the pill, if that helps,” you whisper. “I need to feel you, nothing else.” Your words are sinful but your eyes are so sweet, looking up at him like you’d break if he denied you.
“Fuck, princess, you’re trouble,” he groans, shoving the drawer closed and bringing his hand to your cheek instead. He swipes away a few strands of hair that had fallen, trying to soak in every inch of your perfect face.
“You love it,” you giggle.
“God, yes I do.”
He grasps his cock and fists it a few short times, then guides it along your pussy. Your slick coats his shaft immediately, slow drags making your head spin. And when he slaps the tip against your clit, you know he’s doing it just for that. To drive you crazy, to hear your whines, to see you writhing for it. For him. Would it be appropriate to call him a smug bastard again?
“Stop teasing,” you beg, your voice a strained whisper.
“But you’re so cute like this,” he says. “What’d you say again? ‘Everyone knows I wouldn’t fuck you?’”
You buck your hips against him, a poor retaliation, and he laughs, positioning himself at your entrance. “Well look at you now, princess.”
He presses into you just the smallest bit, enough for the tip to slip inside, still teasing when all you wanted was for him to plunge inside you and fuck you senseless. That small amount of pressure is gone in an instant, leaving you empty once more.
“Chan,” you whimper. “Please just fuck me, I can’t take it.”
You might cry if he keeps this up, still sensitive from your last orgasm but so desperate for another. And while he wouldn’t mind driving you to that point, his cock is painfully hard. Even he’s at his limit.
“Oh, baby, you’re gonna take it,” he taunts, thrusting forward in one swift motion. He bottoms out and stays there, immobile, reveling in your cunt stretching around him. “Fuck. Jesus Christ, you feel amazing.”
“Would feel more amazing if you would move,” you hiss, and he actually listens. His hips snap against you with a purpose, slow and deep, watching every inch sink further.
Each thrust reaches that sweet spot that has your back arching and nails digging into him. You can already feel the fire building inside you again, clenching around him in a way that has him wondering if you’re a dream. “Fuck, your pussy was made for me,” he groans, hips bucking faster now. Less restraining and savoring, more adhering to his primal urge to fill you up entirely.
“Funny. Jaehyun said the same thing,” you pant. You aren’t sure where the confidence comes from, especially when he’s the one pounding into you; maybe he’s fucking the attitude back into you. But you know it’ll get you into trouble, the good kind of trouble, the kind where Chan wrecks you mercilessly.
And oh, he does. He thrusts wilder, rougher, almost carelessly, the sound of skin slapping skin echoing throughout the room.
“Yeah? Well he fucking lied, baby,” he growls. “Because you feel that?” His hand presses down on your stomach. “That’s all me. My cock you’re squeezing like a fucking vice.”
His hand slides down, thumb rubbing tight circles against your clit. The added sensation brings you closer to the edge, and he’s nearly there as well. “Chan, oh my god,” you moan, nails dragging along his bicep.
“You’re so tight,” he grunts. “Did he ever fuck you right?” He won’t even say the name, because it holds no meaning now. You’re his, and he’ll fuck you enough times that you won’t remember anyone else.
Your walls clench harder around him, his thumb circling relentlessly. “No,” you cry. “Not like you. Not like this.” That answer satisfies him, and he pulls back all the way just to slam into you harder.
“I didn’t think so,” he muses. He leans down, nipping at your neck. “Forget about him. All you need to remember is me and my cock ruining you like this.”
You’d already forgotten, only able to think about how Chan was the one currently fucking into you like he had something to prove. You’re so close to release, strangled cries of his name escaping your lips while your thighs clench around him. “Ah, Chan, I’m gonna come!” you whimper.
“Fuck, me too, baby,” he grunts. “You want me to fill you up? Leave your pussy leaking with my cum?”
His words are your final propulsion, and he emphasizes them with each rut of his hips. Your back arches off the bed, face contorting in pure euphoria, and Chan commits the image to memory. It matters little that he knows he’ll see it many, many more times; he wants to watch you ride every single high until the end of time.
Your orgasm washes over you, setting every inch of your body aflame, and you want more. More of him. All of him. “Yes! Please fill me up, please,” you beg, voice breaking from the overstimulation.
He can’t deny you, doesn’t want to deny you, and he couldn’t anyways. You’ve basically sucked him in, legs keeping him held in place. He thrusts into you one final time, a low groan emitting from someplace deep within, hips jerking erratically as thick, white strings of cum spurt inside of you.
When you’ve milked every last drop from him, he pulls out from your spent heat and falls to the bed dramatically, limbs flopping as if he’s dead. And maybe he is, because that was definitely heaven.
You lay there side by side, chests rising and falling in sync, staring at the ceiling like it might offer an explanation for what just happened. How you ended up like this, his cum dripping from you, your scratches welting along his back, when just months ago you couldn’t stand each other. Supposedly.
Then comes a knock on the door, and you both are struck with the realization that you’d forgotten Minho was home, in another room, hearing everything. Or rather, Chan had forgotten, and you’d never known. Never even considered it.
“Are you two done in there?” he calls from outside. You lift your head and look at Chan with wide eyes, and he shrugs like he’s just as clueless.
“Uh, yeah,” Chan shouts back. You bury yourself under the sheets, expecting the door to swing open. Thankfully, it doesn’t. But the alternative might be worse.
“Y/N, when I asked you for help, I didn’t mean by moaning loud enough to wake the neighbors in my apartment.”
Minho’s footsteps pad away from the door, and you pull back the sheets, horrified. “Was I really that loud?!” you exclaim. He hadn’t said anything about your volume or even tried to quiet you, and you were far too consumed to notice.
“A little…” Chan rubs his neck sheepishly.
You wish you could melt into the bed and disappear forever, because how would you ever face Minho again? And their poor neighbors, no less. The walk of shame was going to be unbearable. “Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing!” you groan.
He shakes his head vehemently and kisses your forehead, a small reassurance. “No! No, baby, it was so hot,” he coos. And then it hits him. “Wait. Minho asked you for help?”
“I guess you were going crazy without me,” you smirk. This time he groans, and you laugh, nuzzling into his neck. “Don’t worry. You’re not getting rid of me now.”
“Like I’d ever want to,” he whispers.
His lips press into your hair, and you can’t help but sigh against him. Because any remnants of hatred, if they even truly existed, are gone, and you’re left only with the peaceful acceptance that this was a glimpse of countless days to come.
jsyk# himbo fwb jeno and reader , vv suggestive , jeno’s brain is in his junk , big boob male wife jeno ayeeee we littt , for baeski @1009high , ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
synopsis -> park jisung has sworn off love after being cheated on. he’s been doing a really great job breaking hearts and not looking back. the boys are worried that they’ve taken fuckboy101 too seriously and have now created the ultimate fuckboy. this conversation was heard by your group of friends who never backs away from a challenge. and so the bets are on: get the ultimate fuckboy to fall in love with you and you’ll get $125 from each friend. deal?
warnings -> guaranteeing a sweetness that will hurt you, pet name unlocked: cherry, too many y/n’s in one room pt. 2, crying, the angst is heavy in this one!!, cheating, deception, reader is known as the cold hearted girl who doesn’t fall in love, emosung, +18, crude humor, language, parties, fuckboys, drinking, magic mike jisung, descriptive nipple play, rough sex, he fucks your tits + obsessed with marking them, jisung is big, emphasis on size kink!!!, mirror sex, lazy morning sex, attempt at shower sex, bathroom sex, masturbation (m+f), exhibitionism, riding him in the photo-booth, doggy style, unprotected sex, the pull out method, cowgirl, spanking, oral (m+f), fingering, pain kink, begging, dirty talk!!!, overstimulation, brief mentions of: virginity, morning after pills, thirst traps, pregnancy, vibrator, fake orgasm.
an -> the sixth installment of the loverboy series is excitingly yours! this is literally all the tropes roped into one. i did not give him piercings im sorry…but i did! give you boobie-obsessed jisung and i think the most smut scenes in the history of the loverboy universe! there’s also a fun little thirst trap video in here, make sure to click it ;) important things to note -> 1) jisung was the fuckboy in making turned into the ultimate fuckboy due to fuckboy101 classes with markhyuck 2) all of the boys, except renjun, are happily in love! have fun reading, i’ll be waiting for your reactions. with love, c.
🍒 DECEMBER 14 - USE CODE JISUNG69.
“what the hell is this?,” jisung mutters, squinting as he pushes open the gym doors. the fluorescent lights hum overhead, casting a dull glow on the otherwise empty basketball court – empty except for the six dream boys sitting in a circle, like they were hosting a cult meeting. every single one of them turns to look at him in unison, like he’d just walked into a stage where he was the star of the show.
“this is your intervention,” renjun says calmly, arms folded across his chest like he was the head counselor at the rehab facility.
jisung pauses, then lets out a low, disbelieving chuckle, “intervention for what exactly? being too good at life?”
“you’ve become a menace,” jaemin says, shaking his head like a disappointed dad, “do you even know how many people on campus have a picture of your dick?”
haechan shakes his head, “you’ve singlehandedly skyrocketed the sales of morning-after pills…they’re probably gonna name a discount code after you.”
jisung smirks, “JISUNG69 has a good ring to it,” he laughs, cocking his head proudly, leaning against the nearest bleacher but he was the only one who found it funny, “come on hyungs, i’m just doing what you guys taught me. don’t be mad if the student surpassed the masters.” it was true. fuckboy101, they called it. a dumb joke at first. it started freshman year, when jisung found out the girl he’d planned his future around had been cheating on him for months. he was wrecked. could barely eat, couldn’t sleep. so the older boys took it into their own hands: teach him how to stop feeling. step one - hook up. step two - don’t feel. step three - repeat until you forget who hurt you in the first place. but somewhere along the way, jisung mastered the syllabus and rewrote the course.
“dude,” mark groans, “you got cheated on. we were trying to help you survive, not turn into a full-time asshole.”
“freshman year was different,” jeno adds, voice soft, always the gentlest with him, “back then, you were hurting. you needed the distraction. but now… it’s like you’re addicted to the performance.”
“it’s not a performance,” jisung argues, crossing his arms, the smirk returning like armor, “i’m just living my best life.”
“you’re living in denial,” chenle cuts in bluntly, no hesitation, “every girl you sleep with is someone you ghost and every time you laugh it off, you just look more hollow. it’s not hot anymore. it’s pathetic.” that one lands. jisung stiffens, the smirk faltering for a split second. the air tightens. then he laughs. it’s not light. it’s sharp and cynical, a little too loud for the room.
“oh, i get it,” he says bitterly, his voice dipping into something dangerous, “just because you’re all in love now, you think it’s real? you think it’s forever?”there’s a beat of silence. jisung’s lips curl into something venomous, “your girls are probably out cheating on all of you right now.”
the words land like a punch – ugly, uninvited, and way too personal. everyone freezes. the silence that follow isn’t just tense, it’s disgusted. the image he plants in their heads is too graphic, too cruel. he knows it. that’s why he said it.
“jesus,” jaemin mutters, jaw clenching, like he’s holding himself back from standing, “dude, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“stop projecting,” chenle snaps, his voice sharp now, nothing soft or understanding about it anymore, “just because she broke you doesn’t mean the rest of us are doomed to get screwed over too.”
mark holds up a hand before it escalates further, “that’s not you talking,” he says slowly, voice steady, almost sad, feeling very responsible, “that’s your hurt talking. and it’s turning you into someone we don’t even recognize.”
renjun’s voice is softer when he speaks, but no less pointed, “take it from the only other single guy here, you’re pushing everyone away before they can even get close, it’s like you want to prove no one sticks around so badly, you make sure they don’t.”jisung says nothing. just clenches his jaw, fists tight at his sides. his smirk is gone. what’s left is something colder, blanker. a shield he’s worn for too long. he turns on his heel and walks out without another word, footsteps echoing across the court. the door slams behind him. the court falls into silence again, except this time — it's full of guilt.
renjun exhales sharply, pinching the bridge of his nose, “god, i told you guys he was too far gone.”
“don’t say that,” haechan murmurs, still staring at the door, “he’s not. he’s just…lost.”
mark swallows, voice barely above a whisper, “and we’re the ones who handed him the map.”
the night air hits him. cold. damp. too real. jisung exhales sharply as he storms out of the gym, fists shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie. the slamming door behind him does nothing to silence the voices ringing in his head: “you’re living in denial” “it’s pathetic” “you’re pushing everyone away before they can even try to stay.” he walks blindly, past the buildings, the trees, the vending machines that always ate his coins. the campus is dead quiet, except for the sound of his shoes hitting the pavement — it should feel peaceful. it doesn’t. it feels suffocating. like the silence is pressing on his chest. he stops beneath a flickering lamp post, kicking at a loose stone on the ground. it skitters away uselessly, just like everything else lately. he runs both hands through his hair, tugging hard at the roots. “fuck.” they were right. that’s what makes it worse. he knows he’s been falling. he’s known it for a while now – since the hookups stopped feeling exciting, since the girls started blurring together, since his own name stopped feeling like his. he doesn’t even know who he is anymore without the act. and the thing that scares him the most? he can’t remember the last time he was actually present. the last time he said something and meant it. the last time breathing felt like breathing and not just going through the motions. he used to be the kid who danced like his heart was on fire, who cried when he got the lead in his first showcase, who actually believed in things like forever and soulmates. who wrote love letters and had faith in fate — now he wakes up in strangers’ sheets and can’t remember what he dreamt. now he flirts like it’s a reflex and kisses like it means nothing. now he puts on different smiles and still feels the same emptiness every night. like something inside of him has died and no one noticed. not even him. but having them see it, say it, like they’re peeling open his chest and pointing at the hollow parts makes him want to scream. it makes him want to destroy something just so he can feel in control of the falling. because if he’s the one choosing it – this spiral, this recklessness, then maybe it’s not as pathetic as it feels. maybe it means he still has some kind of power left.
he sits on the low edge of a planter box, elbow on his knees, staring down at the concrete like it might give him answers. his jaw clenches so tightly it aches, “i’m not the one who’s lost,” he mutters to no one, voice hoarse, “they are.” but even he doesn’t believe it. he swallows hard. his throat burns. the back of his eyes sting. no tears fall. he doesn’t let them anymore. not since her. not since he realized that loving people only gives them the power to break you. not since he promised himself no one would ever get close enough to wreck him again. he laughs bitterly under his breath, wiping a hand over his face like he could scrub the shame off. they think he’s heartless, cruel, and toxic — they’re not wrong. but at least this version doesn’t get left behind. doesn’t beg. doesn’t hope. doesn’t play the fool. at least this version of him knows how to survive. even if it means never really living again.
🍒 DECEMBER 15 - THE ULTIMATE FUCKBOY.
your table was chaotic as usual. dongpyo was making a tiktok, sion was halfway through a rant about the new dance professor and sophia was trying to steal fries off everyone’s trays with zero remorse. and then there was karina, leaned back in her chair, sipping her iced coffee with a smug little smile on her lips. like she was the only one in the room who had the full picture. because she was —karina hadn’t meant to hear it. she was only there to pick up her water bottle from the locker room that she left behind after cheerleading practice. the gym had been mostly empty, lights dimmed for the night, except for one glaring row still on near the court. voices. she heard them before she even opened the locker room door. familiar. sharp. heated — you noticed that wicked glint in her eyes first. the one she only ever got when she was about to ruin someone’s life for sport. she waited until dongpyo finally finished his tiktok to announce it.
“i have your challenge,” she said, pointing at you with her straw, “it’s your turn.”
the whole table froze like a scene in a teen drama. sophia gasped, “wait, have we finally found the perfect challenge? she’s long overdue.”
“everyone else had one,” sion nodded, “mine was making that TA fall in love with me.”
“i convinced that film major to write a full short script about me, a tragic romantic lead,” dongpyo adds. they all turned to you now – smirking, expectant. you leaned back in your seat, “okay. hit me.”
karina’s smile widened, “make jisung fall in love with you.”
time stopped. then the table collectively reacted—“no,” sophia gasped, clapping a hand to her mouth.
“oh my god,” dongpyo whispered.
you blinked slowly, “park jisung?”
karina nodded, “the one and only.”
sion looked like he’d just watched someone propose public arson, “that’s insane. he doesn’t even believe in love.”
“that’s the point,” karina grinned, “he’s the final boss. the ultimate fuckboy. no feelings. no commitment. basically allergic to love.” she paused for dramatic effect, “and you have until new year’s eve, that gives you two weeks.”
“sixteen days,” sion corrected, pulling up his calendar, “sixteen days to pull of a miracle.”
dongpyo was already buzzing, “okay, but imagine if you do it. that’s legendary.”
karina raised her iced coffee like a toast, “get him to fall in love with you, actually say the word love and boom – you win. $125 from each of us.” you glanced around the table. that was a total of $500. on paper. easy money. and you were feeling a lot more confident because you knew something they didn’t. that night. two years ago.
FRESHMAN YEAR: DECEMBER 24
the dream boys had gone all out for their first ever christmas eve party. strobe lights bouncing off the keg. music pulsing hard enough to shake the floor. bodies everywhere, pressed into each other, grinding on the makeshift dance floors, laughing too loud. glitter stuck to sweaty necks and polyester santa skirts clung to thighs. someone was wearing a santa costume with way too much confidence. someone else was dressed up as a reindeer. it was all a mess and it smelled like regret. you were halfway through your second jungle juice, trying not to die in your red heels, when you saw him slouched against the wall, red cup in hand, hood up even though it was hot as hell inside. his eyes looked tired. not drunk-tired. sad-tired. like he hadn’t slept in days. not even trying to mask the kind of ache you learned to recognize. sadness hiding in flirtation. that’s what he was. someone trying too hard to pretend he was having fun. you hadn’t really talked before, but you recognized him from class — park jisung. dance major. first year. just like you. you’d danced together once during partner improv. he was light on his feet, good with rhythm, awkward when the music stopped. the first time you noticed him he was wearing oversized glasses that kept sliding down his nose. tonight, his hoodie was zipped halfway done, revealing a sliver of collarbone and the thin chain around his neck. his face had lost the softness from orientation week, jaw more defined, hair styled like he tried. he looked cooler. that fake kind of cool that didn’t quite match the awkward, lanky kid he still clearly was under the hoodie. he looked up, met your gaze, blinked like he was surprised you saw him. you stopped in front of him, tilting your head, “you look like you’re at the wrong party.”
he gave a short, humorless laugh, “i’m doing my homework.”
you raised a brow, “is that a metaphor or…?”
he shrugged, took a sip of his drink, “mark and haechan says i can’t graduate heartbreak until i finish fuckboy 101, apparently the final exam of the year is sleeping with someone hotter than your ex.”you didn’t even pretend to be shocked. you’d heard the story. his high school girlfriend. the one who wore a purity ring and promised they'd’ both wait for marriage. turns out she wasn’t waiting at all. not when there were upperclassmen willing to bend her over a desk three months into the school year. the video spread throughout the campus. she transferred schools. jisung had stayed behind, bruised but breathing. the dream boys took him under their wing immediately after. and you weren’t doing any better. you’d just gotten ghosted by someone who said “you didn’t care enough.” whatever that meant. so here you were, both cracked open in your own ways. both leaning against the wall at a frat party where poor decisions floated in jungle juice and strobe lights.
“how’s the course going?,” you asked.
he sighed, “stuck on the finals,” he tipped his beer, “cheers to losing your virginity after your girlfriend.”
“i’ve never done it either,” you said. calm. clear. “figured i’d wait then realized i didn’t actually care anymore.”
he blinked, “wait…you’re a virgin?”
you looked at him, nodded, “wanna pop each other’s cherries and call it a night?”
his jaw dropped slightly, “are you serious?”
you shrugged, meeting his eyes, “you want to pass your final exam. i want to stop waiting. neither of us wants romance. so?”
he stared at you like you just offered to solve climate change, “unless you’re still waiting for fate or whatever,” you added. he lets out a slow, disbelieving laugh, then held out his hand, “come on, cherry.”
you blinked, “what?”
he grinned like he just came up with the best nickname in the world, “if we’re popping each others cherries, the name fits, right?”
you groaned, “that’s the dumbest nickname i’ve ever–”
“too late,” he said, already leading you up the stairs, “it’s canon.” his room was surprisingly clean. the bed had actual sheets. straightened, even. the blue led lights running along his ceiling gave everything a hazy, aquarium-glow vibe. there was a single hoodie on the floor and an unopened can of monster on his desk, right beside his forgotten glasses. you hovered awkwardly near his dresser, heart pounding, skin already warm with nerves. the music from the party downstairs pulsed faintly through the door. jisung shut the door behind you with a soft click. his hand lingering on the doorknob like he was buying himself a few more seconds of courage. “so, uh…,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “should we like…set the mood?”
you blinked, “what?, you wanna light a candle and put on the weeknd?”
he laughed, a real one this time, “i don’t know! i’ve never done this before, it might sound better than dead silence and me panicking.”
you kicked off your shoes, “i guess music might help?,” you ask and he nods, immediately pulling out his phone, fumbling with the bluetooth. after a few taps, a sultry beat filled the room – the first song on a playlist that had clearly been curated.
i’m just a bachelor…looking for a partner…someone who knows how to ride…
you stared, “wait. is this—”
if you’re horny, let’s do it, ride it, my pony…
“don’t judge me,” he cuts in, cringing as he sits on the edge of his bed, “the boys made this for me, they said i’d need it once i finally…you know.”
“turn it off!” you said, already laughing. he scrambled to shut it off, almost dropping his phone in the process. you made your way to the edge of his bed, a full foot away from him, “do you have a condom?” he jumped up, pulled opened his nightstand drawer where he knew jaemin threw some in for him some time last month going on and on about how important it is to practice safe sex and how this frat house wasn’t ready to raise a child. he held it up, eyes widening a little bit at the words XL written on the packet, “uhhm, check,” he says, letting out an awkward cough as he made his way back next to you.
you raised an eyebrow, “do you know how to put it on?”
“...i watched a youtube video once. it was animated,” he stutters out.
“perfect. two virgins, one mission,” you try to joke around. there was a beat of silence. you looked at each other one more time. a mutual agreement. before finally leaning in — the first kiss was soft. hesitant. lips brushing more than pressing. a breath shared between nerves. the second was better. his hand cupping the back of your head, thumb brushing your cheek. his mouth was warm. you tilted your head, fingers tugging lightly at the fabric of his hoodie. you broke apart, cheeks flushed, a little breathless, “do we take our clothes off now? or is there a countdown?”
“i was just gonna start,” he said, tugging off his hoodie in one quick motion. his shirt rode up, flashing pale skin and the outline of his abs. you followed, pulling your shirt over your head. his eyes flicked to your chest then darted away, ears burning red. clothes peeled off with a mixture of clumsy hands and nervous giggles. there was no grace to it. at one point, he stubbed his toe against the bed frame and swore under his breath. you didn’t look at each other too long. too intimate. too real. better to laugh through it.
“left hook,” you muttered as he fumbled with your bra.
“i was getting there,” he grinned, flustered. but once you were down to nothing, the air shifted. you both froze, suddenly hyper-aware of everything – breath, skin, the heat rushing up your necks. he looked at you, all flushed skin and hesitation, and whispered, “you’re really pretty.”
you frowned, trying to hide the blush that was sneaking it’s way to your cheeks, “that’s dangerously close to romance.”
he smirked, “fine. you’ve got excellent tit symmetry.” you laughed then laid back. he hovered above you, knees braced on either side of your thighs, his hands sinking into the mattress beside your ribs. his skin is warm against yours. chest to chest, heartbeats out of sync. his breath feathered across your jaw, “is this okay?” he whispered.you nodded, “yeah.” he kissed you again — deeper this time, tongue sliding softly against yours before moving down. his lips trailed from your jaw to your neck, pausing with each inch like he was asking without asking. his nervous hands gently brushed over your breasts, eyes flicking up to meet yours for permission. you nodded again. and he lowered his mouth to your chest. warm. experimental. he was trying, earnestly. he took his time, sucking on your breasts, softly, reverently, a little too cautious, tongue flicking over skin clumsily before making his way down to your stomach, your thighs, fingers slipping between your legs with shy curiosity.
he looked up from between your legs, almost sheepish, “tell me if i’m doing it wrong.” you nodded. your chest rising and falling, excitement and nerves coursing through your veins. he slid a finger in slowly, your breath hitched. then his tongue followed through, tentative licks that turned sure when you gasped, “right there,” you moaned quietly, “that’s good,” he sucked carefully, learning your body like a choreography. he was a quick learner, adjusting to your sounds, every twitch of your hips, every short gasps but it was feeling dragged on and you just wanted to get this over with, “jisung, i’m gonna come.” he didn’t stop until you finished moaning, kissing your thigh, grinning up at you, “you’re better at that than i expected,” you say.
he laughs, “i would sure hope so, i had a couple lessons on how to eat a girl out.”
you laugh in disbelief, “get the condom.” he tore the packet open…the wrong way. the foil ripped straight down the middle, narrowly missing the actual condom, “shit,” he hissed.
“off to a strong start,” you teased.
“give me a break, i’m under pressure,” his voice trembled slightly as he pulled out the condom and stared at it like it was a high-level math equation. then he rolled it on with a shaky hand, trying to remember the way the boys told him how to put it on. he lined himself up, hoping to god he put the condom on correctly and his eyes searched for yours again.
“you ready?,” he asked, voice barely a whisper.
“yeah,” you said, breath shallow, “you?”
he nodded, then added, “if i like…die mid-thrust, tell the boys i was brave.” you laughed, “just do it.” finally, he pushed in and the stretch made you hiss instantly, body immediately locking up. he was big.
“shit–are you okay?,” he asked immediately, freezing, barely halfway in as he tried to push away the groan begging to escape his lips. his voice was all panic and guilt, “d-did i do something wrong? am i–did i hurt you?”
“no.” you rushed to say, swallowing hard, gripping his arms, eyes shutting in pain, “it’s just…,” you suck in a breath, “you-re–uh…bigger than i expected.” his eyes widened, “r-really? like…in a good way or a what the hell is that kind of way?” he was trying so hard to talk. to ignore the way he feels like he’s about to bust any second now. you let out a shaky laugh, trying to calm yourself down and adjust to him, “i don’t know, i have nothing else to compare it to.”
“i-i can pull out,” he offered, like the gentleman he was, “we can stop. i’ll go put on pony again as punishment.”
“no–no, it’s okay,” you smiled, your grip on him loosening just a little bit, cheeks hot, “just give me a second.” he nodded, holding as still as a statue. his forehead was damp, his eyes were locked on yours like he was afraid to blink and every second that he doesn’t move is starting to hurt. you were so tight. so warm. it felt way too good. a few seconds passed and you gave him a small nod, “okay, you can move. just…slow, please.”
he nodded, resuming his movement with a delicacy of someone handling glass. he let out a breathless moan as he slid in the rest of the way, “oh my god,” he whispered, “i-i can’t…t-this feels…insane.” you both laughed breathlessly, even as your legs trembled slightly and he was panting really hard, trying to stay in control of his own body. he started thrusting. “fuck—holy shit—you’re s-so tight,” the pace was uneven, but there was something sincere about it. something that made your chest ache in the best way. he was trying and you were both figuring it out. he let out another strangled moan, hips stuttering, “i-i don’t think i’m gonna last.”
“it’s okay,” you said softly. you clung to him, breath hitching from the stretch and the closeness and the ridiculousness of it all. it was chaos. sweat. and genuine effort that was sweeter than you expected. the sounds he made were helpless and desperate, his grips on your hips tightening like he was afraid he’d float away. he managed maybe a few more sharp thrusts before he stilled completely, letting out the softest whimper as he collapsed over you, completely spent, chest heaving. “oh my god—that was…i’m so sorry. that was so fast, it just felt really good,” he looked at you with wide, apologetic eyes, almost like a shocked hamster, before flopping back against his pillows, trying to catch his breath. you laughed, turning your head to face him “at least one of us enjoyed it.”
“don't look at me,” he groaned, covering his face with a pillow, ears bright red, “this is the worst performance of my life, i’m gonna get roasted in the group chat if they ever find out.” you smiled, sitting up and hooking your bra back on, there was a slight soreness around your legs but it wasn’t bad, “want me to tell them that you were so good you made me cum twice on your first try?” — he peeked at you from where he lay sprawled on the bed, arm flung over his face, a smirk tugged at his lips, “nah, they’ll know you’re lying for sure. i almost cried when they asked a girl to give me my first ever blowjob.” you burst out laughing, tugging your shirt over your head, “well, at least you didn’t cry this time.”
“thanks for letting me fail sex in peace,” he reached over blindly and handed you your skirt, “are you okay?”
“i’m okay, i didn’t really expect anything else but that,” you grinned, putting it on, “thanks for lasting at least thirty seconds.”
he laughed, “brutal,” he grabbed his boxers off the floor and slipped them on, “round two is gonna blow your mind.” you grinned, poking his cheek and he scrunched his nose up like a kid, “i’ll believe it when i feel it.”
but round two never came. no rain check. no late night texts. no next time. you never talked about it again. not once. not during warm-ups in the dance studio. not even when you both got casted in the same contemporary piece sophomore year and had to press your bodies together in sync for eight straight counts. it stayed unspoken. like the bloodstain you left behind on his sheet that you were both too polite to acknowledge out loud. a mark that something changed. proof of the night you spent together. the line you crossed clumsily and awkwardly — jisung moved on fast and loud. girls left his room still fixing their hair. not one ever stayed the night. rumors spread like wildfire – his stamina, his smirk, his fingers, his massive cock that apparently left girls limping down the hallway and giggling behind their hands. there was always a new name, a new story, sometimes two in the same night. he laughed about it. shrugged when the guys teased him. told bold stories in the cafeteria like he hadn’t once looked nervous just unhooking a bra. like he wasn’t the same boy who asked if you were okay with wide-eyed panic and the softest voice. and you had your share of forgettable one night stands too. you tried to prove to yourself that it didn’t mean anything. that it’s just part of the college life. but you figured it out early on, that wasn’t what you wanted. and none of it was ever…fun. no guy ever made you come. not once. they were either too rough, too rushed, too distracted by their own performance. so eventually, you stopped trying to prove anything. stopped searching for something that didn’t feel right. you had your hand. your vibrator. that was enough. more than enough, really. at least with yourself, there were no disappointments. still, despite everything, you and jisung never ignored each other. it wasn’t that kind of silence. you shared a major. shared mirror space during warm-ups. ran across the same floors in the same studios. sometimes you traded banter in the hallway, complained about calluses and hip bruises, about professors who made you redo the same combo until your knees gave out. he still called you cherry when no one was listening. the name slipped from his lips like muscle memory. you never asked him to stop. there was a rhythm to it — the teasing, the familiarity, the way you orbit each other without ever colliding again. a quiet pact. unspoken, but always there. like a secret tucked into the back pocket of jeans you never wear anymore but never quite throw away either. and he always gave you this look. like he remembered. not in a guilty way. not even in a longing way. just… recognition. like the memory lived behind his eyes, blurry at the edges but still intact. you remembered too. the awkwardness. the fumbling hands. the sting — a little humiliating. definitely clumsy. not something you’d brag about. but still, it was yours. no one else knew. not your friends. not his. just the two of you. and maybe that made it even more intimate than if it had been perfect. more intimate than if you’d kissed afterward. or cuddled. or talked about how it felt. it was a secret — flawed, forgotten on the surface, but buried deep in the soft, silent place where your memory keeps the things you never say out loud.
END OF FLASHBACK – BACK TO DECEMBER 15
“earth to y/n?,” your eyes flicked up. karina was waving her hand in front of your face, her iced coffee dangerously close to spilling on your tray, “did you just disassociate mid-conversation?”
“sorry,” you said smoothly, settling back in your seat, “i was just thinking.”
“are we doing this or not?,” dongpyo asked, already opening his notes app to track the money, “because i’ve got venmo open right now and i’m ready to start collecting.” sophia leaned forward like she was presenting the final act in a very glamorous heist movie, “park jisung. sixteen days. make him fall for you before the clock hits midnight on new year’s. he confesses, you win $500”
“and you know the rules…if you lose…” karina added sweetly, the kind of sweet that always came before something evil, “if you fall in love with him—,” she smiled like she could already taste your downfall, “you pay all of us.” the table fell quiet. you paused just long enough to make them wonder. let it hang. like maybe you’d say no. like maybe you were scared. but the truth was – you weren’t scared at all. they didn’t know that you’d once shared something with park jisung that no amount of rumors or girls could erase. you had history on your side. the nickname. the secret. the fact that you were each other's firsts and you know what they say about that. a man never forgets his first. so you leaned forward, let a sly smile curl across your lips, and with every ounce of confidence you could muster, you said, “duh. i’m not a rookie, he’ll be in love with me by new years.”
the table erupted into cheers, giggles and the clicking of phones – someone already making a group chat to track progress. but your smile didn’t falter once. you straightened your posture. took a sip of karina’s coffee without asking, just to piss her off.
🍒 DAY 1 OF THE BET - NO REFUNDS.
jisung was not breaking. he’d heard every single thing the boys said. the intervention that was more a roast. but they didn’t get it. he was fine. perfectly, wonderfully fine. so what if he hadn’t had a real relationship since freshman year? so what if his hookups felt like reruns now? if the only real satisfaction came from the way people talked about him afterward, not during? he could be in a relationship if he wanted one. he just didn’t want to waste his time. that’s all. feelings? commitment? vulnerability? all messy. all pointless. love was a slow death and he wasn’t interested in dying twice. still, he had a point to prove. a simple solution — he’d find someone to date. publicly. casually. just long enough to get the guys off his back. just long enough to remind them, and himself, that he was still in control. that he was still unfazed, untouchable. it was the perfect plan. easy. controlled. safe.
jisung swiped his keycard, pushed open the door to dance studio 7 and froze. like some sick cosmic joke — you were there. he wasn’t expecting anyone to be here. that was the whole point of booking this time. 11:00 p.m. to midnight. the last hour the studios stayed open. it was quiet, empty, forgotten, most students too tired to care or too sane to drag themselves across campus this late. but for him, it was sacred. the hum of the building settling into sleep, the hallway lights dimmed, the mirrors fogged with the day’s ghosts. this was when he could breathe. no image. no professors. no voices in his head except the rhythm and the beat pulsing through his headphones. and he needed it. especially after the ambush from the guys. he needed to dance it out. burn it out. put the stupid idea of relationships in a box and light it on fire. yet here you are, already warming up in the studio. in his time slot. your airpods were in, stretching lazily, arms overhead and spine arched in a way that was way too distracting, oblivious to the way time seemed to pause the second he saw you. you looked good. like you always do. not done-up or dressed to impress, just… comfortable. effortless. his hand dropped from the strap of his bag. the word left his mouth before he could stop it, “cherry?,” he said, like maybe you were a hallucination, “what are you doing here?” you looked up mid-shoulder roll, pulling one earbud out with a smirk like you’d been expecting him all along, “what, i’m not allowed to be here?”
“just surprised,” he stepped in slowly, tossing his hoodie onto the couch, trying not to stare, “no one sane ever comes at this hour.”
“you’re here,” you point out. “exactly,” he replies, a smirk on his face. you rolled your eyes but smiled, brushing past him to grab a hair tie from your bag. he didn’t move. didn’t even pretend not to watch as you twisted your hair up into a messy bun. he sat against the mirror wall, arms propped behind him, legs stretched out like he owned the place. you caught the way he was looking. didn’t comment. but didn’t look away either.
“so…” you started, voice light but deliberate, “got anyone special these days?” he narrowed his eyes, a smug smirk on his face, “are you flirting with me, cherry?” you gave a little shrug, walked closer, sat next to him and dropped your voice like it was a secret just between you, “would it be so bad if i was?” he blinked at you, caught off guard. for all the teasing and casual conversations over the years, it had never quite been this… direct.
“that depends,” he smirks, almost deviously, “are you asking for round two?”
you laugh, shoving his shoulder, “round two of what? another thirty seconds?,” you tease him playfully.
“wow,” jisung clutched his chest like you’d stabbed him, “that’s crazy. you’re gonna say that to a guy who gave you the gift of his sacred virginity?” you just laughed harder, reaching to grab your water bottle from your bag. “just saying, if you’re gonna break a girl’s hymen, the least you could do is make her cum.” — for the first time since that night you talk about it. and instead of being awkward or tense or heavy, it was just… funny. honest. he laughed too, shaking his head, “in my defense, i was nervous as hell.”
“you were shaking like a chihuahua, jisung,” you grinned over the rim of your water bottle, “took you five full minutes to unclasp my bra.”
“it was an emotional experience!,” he argued, pointing at you, “and you stared at me like i was solving a rubik’s cube with my elbows,” he says.
“honestly, i should’ve asked for my virginity back,” you tease.
he shakes his head no, “it was a limited edition, no refunds kind of situation,” you both burst out in giggles — bright and unfiltered, shoulders shaking, the ridiculousness making the awkward memory feel lighter, easier. he watched you, something fond and almost too-soft flickering behind his eyes. when the laughter died down, he leaned his head back, flashing you that cocky smirk he’d perfected over the years, “well,” he said, “you’ll be happy to know i’ve had plenty of practice since then.”
you narrowed your eyes, unimpressed, “have you now?”
“i have, thank you very much,” he says, “the reviews have been overwhelmingly positive.” you laugh, rolling your eyes. he turned his head toward you, hair messy, cheeks flushed from laughing, “you really picked the worst time to show up here.”
you glanced down at him, amused, “why’s that?”
“because i was planning on being emotionally unavailable in peace,” he smiles. you tap his thigh, “too bad. i came to haunt your peace and cause emotional instability. you’re welcome.” — and for some reason, it made him smile.
🍒 DAY 2 OF THE BET - ALL KINDS OF LOVE.
you barely made it through the studio doors when you felt the shift in the room. excitement. buzzing. competitive energy sparking off the floor like static. the room was packed, more chaotic than usual for a morning class. water bottles clinked against the hardwood, sneakers squeaked, someone was blasting music in a corner until it abruptly cut off. and at the front of it all stood dance professor, taeyong, arms folded, head slightly tilted, looking far too pleased with himself — “good morning, my lovely dancers,” he greeted with that signature, slightly chaotic smile, “i hope you’ve all been stretching, hydrating, getting good sleep, because today i give you…your final project.” a collective inhale swept through the room. a few people stiffened. professor taeyong clasped his hands together, “a partnered piece,” he announced with relish. groans rippled through the room, followed by an explosion of whispers and movement. people were already darting across the floor, practically throwing themselves into pairings before professor taeyong could even finish speaking, “and!” he added, voice rising above the chaos, “before you all partner up, this won’t be just any duet.” the room stilled, everyone waiting for his next instruction. “your piece,” he said slowly, “must be themed around something simple. something unavoidable. something we experience in a hundred different ways, every single day.” he paused for dramatic effect —“Iove.”
“i want all kinds of love,” professor taeyong continued, “romantic. platonic. unrequited. obsessive. euphoric. intimate. joyful. destructive. longing so sharp it aches. lust so thick it stifles. i want it all.” some students side-eye him, “don’t look at me like that,” he scolded cheerfully, “this is a performance program! if you can’t sell a story with your body, you shouldn’t be here. and there’s nothing more complex, more magnetic, more devastating…than love.” he let that sit for a moment, soaking into everyone’s skin, then he added, “you’ll be choreographing your own duet,” he continued, “no solos. no excuses.”
you blinked. a duo project? about love? this was the universe handing you your early christmas present. gift-wrapped. on a silver platter. with a red bow on top. you already knew who your partner was going to be. had to be. this wasn’t just convenient – it was strategy. leverage. the kind of setup your friends would later call suspiciously lucky. except…the moment you turned around, looking for his figure, your smirk faltered. there was a line. like, an actual line of girls already circling your $500 – all bright-eyed and bouncy, some fluffing their hair, some fake-stretching in his direction like they just happened to be near. you stared in disbelief as one of them twirled. just…twirled. for no reason. karina slid up beside you, sipping her iced coffee with both hands like it was tea, “you’d better move fast,” she said, nodding toward the growing crowd, “looks like your man’s running a love island season over there.”
you narrowed your eyes, “relax. i’m not worried.
she grinned, “you should be, i can already smell that sweet $125.” you rolled your eyes but your gaze flicked back to the group. jisung stood at the center of it, half listening as one girl twirled a lock of her hair and asked if he preferred contemporary or hip-hop. another was already trying to show him her spotify playlist. but jisung wasn’t really listening. you didn’t notice the way his eyes kept scanning around the room. tracking every figure until they landed on you — because while you were plotting how to use this project to win the bet, he had made a decision of his own. sometime after midnight, when he couldn’t stop thinking about how fun you were to be around. he needed to get the boys off his back. they wanted him to take someone seriously? fine. he’d fake one. or start one. whatever. you weren’t obsessed with him like the others. and he already knows you wouldn’t get weird. you didn’t fawn or fake giggle. you were blunt. sharp. fun. safe. he just had to convince you. he spotted you and you caught his eye too. he broke from the crowd without hesitation. the girls blinked in confusion as he brushed past them like they weren’t even there. he walked across, calm and sure, until he stopped in front of you, “hey, y/n?”
you looked up, a smirk already forming, “yeah?”
“wanna be partners?,” he asked simply. no dramatic build up. karina choked on her drink beside you. “you sure you haven’t promised your thirty seconds to someone else?,” you asked, nodding at the group now staring daggers in your direction. he rolled his eyes though a light smile was tugging at his lips at the inside joke, “you’re never letting that go, are you?”
“nope,” you grinned, playfully shaking your head.
“i promise i’ll give you my thirty seconds and all the time in the world,” he deadpanned, almost too smoothly
“hmm,” you pretend to consider, “fine. i’m okay with that.”
he shake his head, chuckling, “so…partners?,” offering his hand out for a handshake. you shook it, warm fingers brushing. just for a second. but it lingered. “same time as last night?,” you asked.
“tomorrow, same studio, don’t be late,” he warned, smirking now, “i charge by the minute.”
you snorted, “then it’s a good thing you don’t last more than one.” he laughed, that easy, low laugh that made your stomach twist annoyingly, and walked off without another word. you stared after him for just a second too long. then you turned to karina and stuck your tongue out, smug. her mouth was already hanging open, “wait,” she blinked, “last night?,” she hissed, grabbing your arm, “you were together last night?”
you shrugged, very casually, “we just happened to be at the studio at the same time.” karina looked at you suspiciously but she looked genuinely impressed, “you sly bitch,” she gasps, “you don’t waste a second, do you?” you gave a small, nonchalant shrug, though your smile was too proud to hide, “i’m just being efficient. you guys didn’t give me much time.”
she leaned in, eyes wide, “what’s your plan now?”
“simple,” you said, smirking, not missing a beat —“we rehearse. we flirt. he falls. i win.”
🍒 DAY 3 OF THE BET - HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
the lights were low. just the mirrors lit softly by overhead fluorescents, making the whole room feel hushed, almost sacred. the kind of stillness that made every sound feel louder — every breath, every heartbeat, every shift in the air. the speaker sat idle in the corner, blinking silently like it was waiting for permission to speak. jisung sat across from you, hoodie sleeves pushed to his elbows, legs mirroring yours. there was a gap between you, not far, maybe two feet. the silence wasn’t awkward. it felt different in here. because he was different in here. gone was the party-junkie persona, the cocky flirt who winked at girls in the hallways and laughed too loud during roll call. in the studio, with just the two of you, it didn’t seem like he bothered putting on the act. no charm, no smugness, just – jisung.
“so,” you said finally, stretching your legs out in front of you, “love.” he groaned immediately, dropping his head back with a dramatic sigh, “ugh. don’t say it like that.” you smiled softly, “we’re stuck with it. professor taeyong said all forms. that gives us options.”
“right,” he muttered, brushing his bangs out of his face, “options.” you tilted your head to one side, studying him, “have you ever been in love?”
he blinked, surprised you even asked, then he leaned back against his hands, eyes flicking up to the ceiling, like the answer was written up there, “yeah,” he said finally, “once. my ex.”
you nodded, “the one who cheated?” he nodded again, slower this time.
“yikes,” you winced, “that sucks.”
he shrugged, still looking upward, “it was a long time ago, i learned a lot, i guess, but i think…i never stopped feeling kind of dumb about it.” that quiet sat between you again until he broke it, voice gentler, “what about you?” he asked.
you shook your head, “nope. never.”
he didn’t tease. no smirk, no quip. just a thoughtful stare that felt too intimate for someone with a reputation like his, “never even thought you were?,” he asked, voice low.
you let out a small breath, “i think i wanted to be. a few times. but no. i was just bored. or lonely. or trying to convince myself i felt something because i wanted to feel something,” you take a pause, “and now…i don’t really care for it, it’s just…not my priority. besides i have my friends. they’re all the love i really need” you shrug, “just don’t let them hear that,” you smile, almost shy. he nodded slowly, watching you like he was seeing parts of you he’d never thought to look at before. he sat there, chewing his bottom lip for a moment, like he was carefully turning your words over in his head.
“so what now?” he asked, “if we’re both emotionally stunted, how do we do this whole ‘love-dance’ thing?”
you bit your lip, thinking, “well, professor taeyong said any kind of love.”
he nodded, “so…friendship?”
you laughed softly, “we’re barely friends.”
“yeah, but we have…history,” he said, with a careful smile. you didn’t deny it. “what about lust?” he asked next. the word wasn’t dirty the way he said it. it wasn’t heavy or loaded. it was merely just…a suggestion. you raised an eyebrow. he shrugged, mouth tugging into a crooked grin, “it’s familiar. easier to show onstage. i’ve got enough… material, let’s say.”
you fought a laugh, “yeah, i’ve heard.”
he cracked a smile but didn’t push the joke, “but seriously,” he said. “it’s just wanting. that’s it. and we’ve…done that, haven’t we?”
you smiled, nodding, “sure. let’s do lust.”
then he looked at you for a second longer, something unspoken flickering behind his eyes, “have you ever…slept with someone after me?”
you nodded, arms wrapping loosely around your knees, “of course, you weren’t the only one getting busy…but–,” you pause, not entirely sure if you want to open up to him about your failed sex life.
“but?” he asked, his voice a touch quieter. and something about the way he was looking at you – genuinely, earnestly – made you want to say it. you looked down, then back at him, “but… i’ve never really felt strong lust. not the kind people talk about. not the kind that takes over. drowns you…no one’s actually ever made me orgasm,” you added simply. like it was just another fact. like it didn’t need to be sensationalized.
he blinked “seriously?” you nodded, picking at a thread in your leggings, “i’ve faked it before. it’s not that hard. guys don’t really notice.”
his brows furrowed, not in judgment, more like guilt, “you faked it that night too, huh?”
you gave him a look, “obviously.”
he let out a breath, half-laughing, “damn. my ego’s never recovering”
“i mean,” you giggled, “you were sweet. nervous. a little shaky. but you weren’t that bad.”
he gave a low groan and covered his face with his hands “i was trying so hard,” he groaned, “you have no idea, i was ready to bust as soon as i saw your tits,” he confessed, earning another genuine laugh from you. you both smiled fondly at the memory. like it was a part of growing up. a little embarrassing. a little special. clumsy. human. and for a second, it felt like nothing had changed. two awkward kids. a quiet pact. a memory neither of you could shake. “we were so awkward,” he said.
“we still are,” you grinned. he didn’t try to touch you. didn’t slide closer. just kept sitting there, meeting you where you were. you hadn’t seen this side of him in so long — maybe ever. no armor, no performance. just jisung. honest. a little tired. a little bruised. but real. and weirdly, that felt like trust. you sat in the stillness a while longer. then stood, brushing your hands on your thighs, “come on, jisung. let’s figure out how to make lust look believable.”
he got up too, stretching his arms overhead, “cherry,” he said, teasing but gentle, “if anyone can sell it, it’s you.” but his voice held none of the usual flirt. none of the bite. just quiet admiration, and something maybe like respect — the music played low. something slow, a little sensual. you and jisung stood across from each other, bodies reflected in the mirrors lining the wall. his hoodie was gone, tossed onto the couch. you’d tied your hair up. this wasn’t your first time dancing with him. but this was the first time dancing like this. you stepped forward first, foot gliding into a slow drag as you raised your arms overhead. a quiet build in the music swelled beneath you and jisung moved in response — mirroring, but not copying. more like answering. like you were in a conversation neither of you had the words for yet.
“okay,” he murmured, half to himself, “show me what you think lust looks like,” he stepped closer, voice lower now, “make me believe it.” you took a breath, heart thudding. this was just a warm-up. just a way to familiarize yourself with each other. you reached out, fingers brushing against his collarbone. a ghost of a touch. his skin was warm, his breath steady, and he didn’t move away. instead, he stepped forward again, closing the gap. now you could feel it. the heat radiating off of him, the way your arms brushed his chest as you circled him slowly. you didn’t speak. just kept moving. letting the music guide your limbs. your palm found his shoulder. his hand hovered, then gently caught your waist. his fingers weren’t demanding. they were…tentative. careful.
“okay?,” he asked, voice just above a whisper. you nodded, “yeah.” then he twirls you, your back meeting his chest, your breath catching as his arm slid around your middle. you could feel the rise and fall of his chest behind you. the silence between you wasn’t empty anymore. it was dense. buzzing. “closer,” you said, surprising yourself. he obeyed, palm flattening against your stomach, pulling you in just slightly. enough that your hips brushed when you moved together. enough to feel the length of him against your back. you let your head tip back against his shoulder, hair brushing his neck — this wasn’t choreographed. not yet. this was just…trying. feeling. and it was too easy to fall into it. jisung’s voice was low near your ear, his breath sending goosebumps down your spine, “you’re really good at this.”
you smirked, not looking at him, “faking lust?”
“making it not feel fake,” he murmured. you turned in his arms slowly, hand resting against his chest. his skin was flushed from dancing. his hand trailed down your arm. yours drifted across his shoulder. every brush of skin felt heavier than it should. he dipped you, hand on your back to steady you, the contact firm now, more certain. his thumb pressed against your spine and your breath hitched. when you rose again, your faces were close. he blinked slowly, like he was pulling himself out of a trance, “we’re gonna look good on stage,” he whispers against your lips. “yeah,” you replied, taking a step back and out of his arms. you looked at him, pulse high in your throat. his gaze dropped to your lips for half a second, then back to your eyes. the music faded. the room felt colder without movement — without him that close. he cleared his throat, walking to his bag and reaching for his water bottle, rubbing the back of his neck like he needed a moment. you grabbed your phone, pretending to check something. neither of you said it out loud. but the tension had lingered. and you both felt it.
🍒 DAY 6 OF THE BET - UR FAULT BTW.
the door clicked shut behind you, sealing you both in the quiet that had become familiar all too quickly. this studio, this hour — another thing that belonged to the two of you now. it’s been three continuous days of night rehearsals with jisung. he was already stretching at the center of the room. the lights were dim, casting both your reflections in the mirror like ghosts. he caught your eye in the mirror and smirked, “alright, cherry,” he said, voice lazy, teasing, “let’s start.” you didn’t answer. you didn’t need to. you walked toward the speaker, hit play, and the slow, sultry beat began to fill the space. without hesitation, you let the music pull you under. a glide of your hip, a slow turn of your neck, your body moved with a rhythm that felt like second nature now. by the time you turned, jisung was already moving with you. he didn’t need a cue. he didn’t need a count-in. he just knew. falling into the dance like he’d been dancing with you for years. you met in the middle, your palms brushing as you passed, his breath warm when your faces crossed paths. then he caught your hand, strong and assured, and spun you cleanly into him. you landed chest to chest, close enough to feel the heat radiating off him. his hand wrapped around your waist. it slid just slightly lower. you moved together in sync, every breath shared, every glance held just a little too long. the tension had been building for nights now, the kind that settled in the space between touches. accidental brushes that didn’t feel so accidental. stares that lingered long after the choreography stopped — tonight, it was boiling over. your hands curled into his shoulders and without thinking, without asking, you jumped. he caught you instinctively, hands sliding down to support your thighs as your legs wrapped around his waist. he stumbled slightly, the contact jarring, electric, and before you could register it, your back hit the mirror. his hips pressed between your legs, firm and there. the breath left both your lungs. his forehead dropped to yours. your hands found his jaw, holding him steady, and for a long second, neither of you moved. just heartbeats. just breathing. just his eyes dropping slowly, deliberately to your mouth.
you finally did both of you a favor — you kissed him. his lips responded immediately. it was nothing like your first. this was all heat and friction and days, maybe years, of tension exploding at once. his mouth moved fast, hungry, messy. he kissed you like he wanted to ruin you. you bit his bottom lip. he cursed under his breath, hands squeezing your thighs, pulling you tighter. your hips rolled into him. his answer was instinct. thrusting back. the friction made you moan. made him kiss you harder, swallowing the sound. he kissed down your jaw, then your neck, each brush of his lips messier, wetter than the last. one of his hands dragged higher and higher and in one swift motion he yanked your tank top down. your nipples hardening in the cool air and jisung wasted no time.
“fuck–,” you gasped as he latched onto your nipple, his strong arms holding you up higher as he sucked hard — lips hot, tongue flicking over the sensitive bud before sealing around it with a deep, lewd pull. the pressure sending heat shooting through your stomach. he groaned into your skin, shifting to the other breast with a noise that sounded too close to desperation. he tongued your nipple again and again, alternating slow licks with firm sucks that made your spine arch into him. “jisung–,” he hummed in approval, the vibration traveling straight to you.
“god, cherry, your tits are fucking perfect,” he praised, lips wet and breath hot against your chest, “didn’t even know what to do with these back then–” he licked, swirled, sucked, “but i do now.”your fingernails dug into his shoulders. he kissed lower, then back up, nipping lightly before pulling your nipple into his mouth again, sucking harder this time, drawing a loud moan from you. you were sure there were red marks all over your breasts in the shape of his lips. “jisung–fuck, please–,” you didn’t even know what you were begging for.
“look at you, cherry,” he murmured, “so fucking responsive. so sensitive right here,” he grinned against your nipple. you barely noticed him moving to the forgotten couch in the corner. but the moment you hit the cushions, he was on top of you, lips crashing onto yours. his hands didn’t hesitate now, they were confident, hot, everywhere, your tank bunched uselessly around your armpits. your chest was flushed, already marked red, your nipples glistening from his mouth. he looked down at you like he couldn’t believe you were real. then he leaned down again.
“can’t believe i used to be scared to touch you,” he murmured against your skin, giving both your breasts the same worship – nipping, sucking, licking, pressing his tongue flat over your nipples, then flicking them back and forth in tight circles that made your stomach curl you swore you were about to learn that you could cum just from it. he sucked each one until they were tender and puffy and every brush of his tongue made you gasp, “now i don’t think i’ll ever stop.” you were breathless, your legs wrapped around him, hands fisting his shirt, hips starting to rock against his and then—
knock. knock. knock.
you both froze. his mouth still latched on one of your nipple, a hand frozen beneath your waistband. “sorry to interrupt!,” a cheerful voice called from behind the door, “just the janitor! it’s five minutes past lock up and i gotta mop!” you stared at jisung. he blinked at you. and then you both burst out laughing. he collapsed half on top of you, chest shaking with laugher, forehead pressed to your sternum.
“of course this would happen,” he muttered, voice muffled by your boobs. you were still laughing and he watched the way your eyes crinkled. the way the light reflected stars off of your eyes. “i think we should add this to our choreography,” he mutters, still in between your breasts.
“you’re insane,” you say in between your laughter as you push him off of you, a little too hard. he landed on the floor with a loud thud, both of your eyes widening before you break into laughter again. you catch your reflection in the mirror – half exposed, hair wild, marked-up, flushed.
“jeez, park, i’m gonna need a scarf tomorrow,” you say, fingers ghosting over the marks that were starting to bloom all over your chest. he smirks, looking way too proud of himself, before slotting himself in between your legs. he gently, carefully, pulls your tank top back up, his fingers ghosting over your shoulders, your nipples still tingling, “it’s not my fault your tits look too fucking good,” he says before kissing you again, slower this time.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
it’s way past your bedtime. your room was quiet. too quiet. the kind that makes you overthink. rewind. replay. you lay back on your pillow, eyes closed, your t-shirt brushing over still-sensitive skin. your thighs pressed together without meaning to. your lips still tingled from his mouth. your neck still wore the ghost of his teeth. and then your phone buzzed.
jisung: *sent a video* (author’s note: 18+ ONLY)
you opened it without thinking. then immediately sat up. holy shit. he was in those damn grey joggers, hanging dangerously loose around his hips. no shirt. just a black hoodie unzipped and hanging open, the sleeves pulled halfway up his forearms. his abs were sharp under the soft light of his bedroom, and then—like he knew exactly what he was doing—he dragged the joggers down. his cock slapped up into frame, already hard. thick. heavy. veins prominent. you couldn’t see his face, but you didn’t need to. you knew the look he had on. that cocky, infuriating smirk that made your pulse skip.
jisung: can’t sleep. too hard. ur fault btw
you dropped your phone on your chest with a choked laughed, heat rushing down your spine. you were just telling him how you hadn’t experienced lust that makes you drown. and now you’re thinking you spoke way too fucking soon. you were supposed to be in control. you were supposed to be the one pulling strings, making him squirm—after all, this was just a bet. but now your thighs were pressed together, breath uneven, skin flushed and aching and you were the one spiraling. you stared at your ceiling, tried to think of anything not related to his cock, or his hands, or the way his tongue circled your nipple like it was fucking dessert. but your fingers were already twitching. and your memory was already playing tricks. maybe this was dangerous. maybe you were getting in too deep. but fuck it. you might as well have some fun while you’re at it. your phone buzzed again.
jisung: u there? did i kill u?
cherry: park. what the fuck?
jisung: u like it? u miss me?
cherry: go to sleep.
jisung: can’t. still thinking about ur tits. and ur hands in my hair. and the way u said my name. the way u arched into me.
jisung: help me my sweet cherry
jisung: please? 🥺🥺
your breath hitched. you bit your lip so hard it stung. your body was already moving before you could talk yourself out of it. you tugged your shirt off before you could second guess yourself. hit record. the camera was angled just right—only your chest in frame. you laid back, letting the light catch on the fresh marks he left behind. hickeys. faint bruises. the aftermath of his mouth. you squeezed them softly, your thumb flicking over your nipples, letting out a quiet moan just for him. then you hit send before you can trip yourself out.
cherry: *sent a video*
your heart was pounding, stomach doing somersaults. you threw your phone beside you like it burned and dragged the comforter over your legs, trying to calm down.
*11 minutes later*
jisung: fuck ur so hot
jisung: *sent an image*
you clicked. and groaned. he was on his bed now, hand still around his cock. his black hoodie was bunched up around his elbows. cum streaked up his abs and soaked into his sweatpants. his hips were still lifted slightly off the bed like he’d just finished. the angle was brutal. intimate. messy. you bit down a whimper as your hand slipped beneath your underwear. heat flooded your cheeks, your chest, down between your legs, your skin prickling with need. your fingers moved slowly at first, hesitant, shaky. but the ache pulsing through your core demanded more. and then the memory played vividly. his body, all heat and tension, pressing into yours like he couldn’t bear even a millimeter of space between you. his hips grinding just enough to tease, not enough to satisfy. the music playing in the background, the rasp of his breath, the soft groan he let out when your hand slid into his hair. the way his mouth moved around your sensitive nipples. your thighs had been slick then, just from the friction. from the way he moved against you. from the pressure building and building with nowhere to go. his fingers had curled into your waistband like he was trying to decide whether to ruin you right there or keep teasing you. you pressed your legs wider now, helpless against the memory, two fingers circling where you were already wet and throbbing. you let your other hand drift up to your breast, thumb brushing over your nipple, already so sensitive from earlier. every inch of you was burning — your phone buzzed again beside you.
jisung: don’t hate me if i can’t control myself around u tomorrow night
jisung: let me suck on ur tits again 😛
you let out a soft gasp, hips lifting into your own touch. the words slammed into you like another wave. this is a stupid bet. but now you were touching yourself at midnight with your heart racing and his voice in your head like a fucking ghost. you swallowed hard, catching your breath, hand sticky, thighs trembling — this was a game. just a stupid, reckless game. and you might as well play it properly.
cherry: only if u behave.
jisung: no promises, cherry.
your lips curled into a smile as you typed your final message, still breathless.
cherry: goodnight, dream of me ;)
jisung: already did
jisung: and tomorrow, it won’t be just a dream 😏
your thighs clenched at his words. you set your phone down slowly, pulse still racing as your back arched, head tipping against the pillow, fingers slipping faster, circling, stroking, dipping in just enough to keep you right on the edge. you let your other hand glide over your chest again, catching on your nipple, rolling it between your fingers the way he did, until your breath hitched, sharp and shaky. the image of him was seared into your brain now. jisung, shirtless in low light, his abs tensed, cum streaking his skin, the mess he made for you. you whimpered, legs trembling. your fingers curled and pressed just right, slick, practiced, desperate, and it hit you fast. hard. blinding. your body locked for a moment as the orgasm ripped through you. a low moan slipped from your lips as your thighs squeezed around your hand. his name echoing inside your skull — jisung. jisung. jisung.
🍒 DAY 7 OF THE BET - THE REMATCH.
you stepped into class wrapped in layers. a hoodie zipped up to your chin. another jacket thrown over it. a scarf around your neck even though it was barely cold enough to justify it. your cargo pants were the only part of your outfit not screaming i’m hiding something. karina blinked when she saw you. then frowned. then slowly cocked her head to the side like a cat who just caught a mouse faking it’s death, “why is your jacket zipped up that high?”
you waved her off, “no reason. i’m cold.”
“in the middle of a packed dance studio?,” she says, voice filled with judgment. you didn’t answer. you looked everywhere but her. which only made it worse. she narrowed her eyes, piecing the pieces together, “wait a damn minute–” you groaned but before you could say another lie, she grabbed your sleeve and yanked you into the corner where no one else was paying attention. then, without warning, she tugged your zipper halfway down, “karina–!”her eyes immediately went wide. your chest was littered with reddish-purple bruises, peeking over the edge of your bra, all the way up to your neck, it was almost like constellations in the sky, “oh my god.” you shoved her hands away, zipping up frantically. “you’re a fucking freak,” she whispered, eyes huge with delighted horror, “those are hickeys. so many hickeys.”
“keep your voice down!,” you hissed, tugging your scarf back up over your throat. karina just stared, speechless for once. then she looked you up and down again, like she was recalibrating. then she groaned, dragging a hand down her face, “fuck. am i gonna lose $125?”
you patted her shoulder, smug, “you shouldn’t have been so confident.” just then, the door swung open behind you and in walked jisung. nonchalant. hoodie slung over one shoulder. hair still a little damp like he’d just showered and didn’t bother drying it properly. that stupid smug walk like he wasn’t just sucking on your boobs and sending you a thirst trap less than twelve hours ago. he greeted a few people, bumped fists with someone from the back corner, smiled at a couple of girls and plopped down in his chair. you didn’t even mean to look at him. but you felt his eyes on you before you turned and sure enough — there it was. that cocky little smirk. his eyes dipped, just for a split second, to your fully zipped hoodie. then he gave you the most infuriatingly pleased expression you’ve ever seen. his tongue poking his cheek. you turned away immediately, face warm. “yup,” karina muttered beside you, “i’m gonna be broke by new year’s.”
⊹ ࣪ ˖
you barely had time to step in and close the door before you were spun around and pinned – not roughly, but with purpose. the mirror behind you cooled your back, a sharp contrast to the body suddenly flush against yours. jisung. one arm braced the wall behind your head, his other hand cupping the back of your skull so you wouldn’t hit the glass too hard. he kissed you hard, nothing tentative about it, like he’d been holding it in all day. “jisung–,” you gasped between breaths, but he was already unzipping your jacket and lowering his mouth to your neck. he hushed you, breath hot, “can’t risk the janitor walking in again.” the reminder sent heat straight down your spine. you felt his teeth graze just below your ear and your fingers tightened in the hem of his hoodie. his lips were relentless, moving down your jaw, your throat, marking up every spot of skin that he missed last night.
“you’re not even gonna pretend to rehearse?,” you murmured but your voice was shakier than you’d liked. “this is rehearsing,” he answered, smirking into your collarbone. you meant to say stop. you should’ve said stop. but your hands had already found their way under his shirt. his breath stuttered when your cool palms touched his skin. smooth, warm, muscles jumping slightly beneath your fingertips. he hasn’t felt this magnetic thrill in a long time. not since he learned how to sleep with girl after girl like it was putting on underwear. but there’s something about you. he can’t explain it. and maybe there doesn’t need to be an explanation for everything. you simply just pull him in again and again.
“i couldn’t focus all day,” he admitted, “kept thinking about…this.” his mouth ghosted over the same spots he marked last time, kissing each one. you tipped your head back, your fingers tugging at the hem of his shirt. he pulls it off quickly then unzipped your jacket all the way, letting it fall to the floor, leaving you in your black bra. he turned you around slowly, firmly, both hands gripping your waist as you settled in his arms, facing the mirror. the only thing that mattered now was the reflection in front of you — flushed skin, hungry eyes, and the man behind you who looked at you like he was about to ruin you, “i’m gonna make up for freshman year,” he said, voice low, mouth still pressing kisses to your neck. you blinked, already feeling dizzy, “are you now?”
“mmhm,” he reached behind your back and unhooked your bra with one hand, like muscle memory, then slid the straps off your shoulders and let it fall. the moment it hit the floor, his hands were on you, large, warm palms cupping your bare breasts, lifting them slightly like he was weighing them in his hands. you gasped, head rolling back against his shoulder. “look at you,” he murmured, but he wasn’t looking at your body. he was looking at your face in the mirror. watching your mouth fall open, your brows twitch, your body arch helplessly under his touch. then his fingers moved. he pinched your nipples slowly at first, deliberate and teasing, rolling them between his fingers, watching intently as your mouth parted and your thighs clenched. his thumbs swiped across the sensitive peaks, back and forth in tight circles until your breath hitched and your thighs squeezed together. “so pretty,” he smirked, tweaking them harder, dragging out a strangled whimper from your throat.
“—feels so good jisung,” you breathe, your hands flying to grip his hips. he kept playing with you like he had all the time in the world, alternating between gentle pressure and sharp, precise pinches that sent sparks straight to your core.
“you like that?” he murmured, tongue darting out to lick the shell of your ear, “these pretty tits… so fucking responsive.” you were panting, chest heaving, nipples aching under his relentless fingers. he twisted them again, and your knees buckled slightly. “gonna make sure you orgasm tonight,” his deep voice makes your thighs twitch but you refuse to give in that easily. you raise a brow, “aren’t you ambitious?”
he smirked against your neck, and before you could say anything else, he picks you up like you weighed absolutely nothing, and sits you on the couch. then he knelt on the floor, between your legs like he belonged there, fingers gripping the waistband of your cargo pants “these,” he muttered, dragging the fabric down your legs with one rough pull, your underwear along with it, “have been in my fucking way since you walked in.” he tosses them to the side, leaving you completely bare for him, the mirrors all around you making you feel a little self conscious. but before you could dwell on it, he ran his palms up your thigh, large hands covering half of your skin, slow and reverent, before spreading them apart with gentle pressure. the room felt suffocatingly hot, your skin flushed, your breath uneven. he paused, right there – his mouth hovering just shy of your center, teasing you with his breath. then he looked up at you, voice low, eyes locked on yours, “tell me how you like it,” he said, fingers gripping your thighs, “because i’m not stopping until i make you come.”
the words hit you harder than they should’ve. like a promise. like a challenge. like he doesn’t matter if it takes the janitor walking into this. you nod, trying to hold yourself together. jisung tilted his head, lips twitching in a smirk then his mouth found you slowly, carefully, like he meant it. like every second of contact mattered, tongue licking a slow stripe up your core before settling into a steady rhythm. no one has ever taken their time with you like this. your back hit the cushion with a whimpered sigh. “don’t fake anything with me,” he murmured, his breath hot against your skin, “i’ll know. i want it real.” you tried to bite back your moan, but it slipped out anyway, raw, needy, “i’m not–,” your voice cracked as his tongue continued to swirl around your clit, “i don’t…i couldn’t fake this if i tried.”
his mouth paused just long enough for his next words to hit hard. “then watch yourself. i want you to see what i’m doing to you. see how your body reacts when someone finally gives a damn about your pleasure.” — the mirrors. wide and unforgiving, reflecting the wrecked mess of you bare, flushed, legs spread apart with jisung kneeling between them. and then he slipped a finger inside you. your breath hitched sharply, your thighs twitching as he worked it in slowly, deeply, curling it just enough to make your back arch, “fuck—jisung—”
“you’re so tight,” he groaned, eyes flicking up to make sure you were still watching, “look at what i’m doing to you.” he curled his fingers again, just right, hitting a spot inside you that made your hips jerk and your mouth fall open in a whine. “do you like this?” he said again, voice deep. “yes—fuck—just like that,” you panted, head tipping back, then forward again as he added a second finger, pushing in deeper, “ohh, right there jisung—please don’t stop—please.” he didn’t. he didn’t speed up or slow down. he kept it right there, just the way you liked it, hitting that spot that kept your toes curling and your moans increasing with every second. then he added his mouth again, tongue flicking against your clit while his fingers continued to move in that same torturous rhythm – slow at first. then deeper. faster. repeat. until your thighs tremble around him, “you’re shaking,” he murmured, voice thick, “you’re close, aren’t you cherry?”
“yeah,” you breathe, staring helplessly into the mirror, “so fucking close. no one’s ever—jisung–fuck,” you can’t even form a proper sentence anymore. the tension in your stomach ready to break at any moment. your fingers knotted in his hair as continued to move his mouth and his fingers. driving you closer and closer until you couldn’t keep your voice down, couldn’t pretend you had any control left. “i–i cant–,” your whole body was shaking, voice breaking into pieces.
“yes you can,” he commands, “you’re gonna come for me. right now. while you watch.” your eyes flicked up again, and in the mirror you saw it all. the way your chest rose and fell in shallow gasps. the way his shoulders flexed as he moved against you. the way your head tilted back as he worked you open like you were the only thing that mattered. and just as you were about to shut your eyes, his free hand slid up, and two of his fingers pressed against your lips. “suck,” he grunts. you didn’t hesitate. you parted your lips, letting his fingers slide in, your mouth wrapping around them. he groaned at the sight — at you moaning around him. his pace never wavering.
he leaned in, body close enough to steal your breath, “now look at how fucking sexy you are when you come,” you willed your eyes to keep open until you couldn’t, helpless moans vibrating around his fingers as your release slammed into you —harder than anything before. your body arched, shaking as you came around his hand and tongue, thighs closing in around his head until he had to hold them open, gripping your thighs like he’d never let go, every muscle locking up as your cry filled the night air. he felt it all. the way you clenched. the way your body trembled like it couldn’t handle it. and he kept going through every wave until you were gasping, body limp, completely unraveled.
when he finally pulled back, his lips were wet, his fingers glistening with your slick, looking proud and satisfied. you were breathless, dazed, eyes half-lidded as you finally looked at him again. he kissed your knee, your thigh, then your lips, “taste that?,” he whispered against your mouth, his tongue dragging against yours, “that’s all you,” your body still felt like it was floating as he pushed you down against the couch, his frame hovering over yours, “and i’m not done.”
you were limp beneath him, thighs trembling, skin flushed, pulse pounding your ears, “i can’t wait anymore,” he rasped, voice wrecked, almost angry with restraint, “i’ve been hard since the moment you walked into the studio,” he rocked his hips forward, letting you feel the full weight of him pressing against your thigh. you reached down your bodies, pushing his sweats off, his large cock bouncing up like that night in freshman year, “i’m not that boy anymore,” he said suddenly like he’d read your mind, “i’m not gonna fuck this up.” you wrapped your hand around him and his breath caught instantly. he was so thick. so hard. so hot it pulsed in your palm, “i know you’re not,” you whispered, “so do it.”
he lined himself up, rubbing his tip through your slick folds, teasing, testing, and your hips arched up toward him, desperate, “wait,” he said, breath hitching, “do you have…?”
you shook your head, breathless, “are you clean?”
he nods his head, “yes, i’m clean.”
your thighs clenched tighter around his waist, “then fuck me already.”
he didn’t hesitate. but instead of pushing in right away, he paused and then his voice dropped, “turn over.”
your heart stuttered, “what?”
“i want you to watch while i fuck you,” he growled. before you could even react, he grabbed your hip and flipped you over. your chest pressing to the couch, knees sinking into the cushions. you gasped, breath caught in your throat, as he reached down, grabbed your ass and spread you open. the mirrors around you caught everything — your surprised gaze, your parted lips, his hungry eyes. then he pushed in. slow, deep, stretching you inch by inch, and it was nothing like the first time. no awkward fumbling, no nervous apologies. just heat and pressure that made your back arch and a breathless moan claw out of your throat, “holy fuck,” you gasped, bracing yourself as your fingers dug into the cushions, “did you–jesus, jisung did you get bigger?” — that pulled a groan from deep in his chest, primal and low, a filthy sound that went straight to you, “you remember how i felt?,” he asked, voice strained, still sliding in, dragging out your torment, “because i haven’t stopped thinking about what you felt like since then.”
“y-yeah,” you gasped, clawing at his thigh, “but you didn’t feel like this—you didn’t feel this—big.” his hips stilled halfway inside, then he grabbed your hair in one hand and yanked your head up until your gaze met his in the mirror, his mouth crashing to your temple in a hot, open-mouthed kiss, “that’s because i didn’t know what i was doing back then,” then he slammed the rest of the way in with one rough thrust that tore a moan from you, so loud it didn’t even sound like you, “now i do.”
he filled you completely, stretching you in a way that made your knees tremble beneath you. you could barely breathe, “fuck,” you whispered, “i didn’t know you could get this deep.” he didn’t move right away. not yet. he just let you feel it – how thick he was, how every twitch made your walls clench around him. one hand gripping your hip hard, the other still tangled in your hair, keeping your gaze locked in the mirror. he lets out a soft laugh, “i’ve been dreaming about a rematch for two fucking years,” he said through gritted teeth. then he pulled out almost entirely, pushed you back down and slammed back in, sharp and brutal. you screamed. he was in so deep you swore you saw stars. your back arched off, body locking up as he started to move, his pace steady but deep, brutal, like he wanted to ruin you from the inside out, “holy—jisung—,” you panted, “you feel s-so full.” each thrust dragged a broken sound from your throat. your body trying to adjust and failing —because every time he pushed back in, it was like your body had to learn him all over again. “you’re so fucking tight,” he growled out, thrusts growing faster now, his fingers bruising into your hips, “do you feel that, cherry? you’re fucking gripping me,” you nodded, dazed, unable to speak. your arms shook with the effort of holding yourself up. every thrust knocked the air from your lungs, every snap of his hips pushed you further and further to the edge.
“gonna make you come again,” he panted, sweat dripping down his temple, “wanna feel you fall apart all over me.” his pace was relentless now. deep. dirty. loud. the sound of skin slapping and obscene sounds from the both of you echoing around the studio. your body couldn’t stop clenching around him, tight, warm, wet, and every thrust hit just right, “im not stopping,” he growled, “not until i make you forget every second of freshman year.”
“you already did,” you moaned. “jisung—fuck—i’m close again—,” his hand slipped between your thighs, fingers circling your clit in quick, perfect strokes, matching the way his cock pounded into you from behind. “come for me,” he said, voice frayed and guttural, “come while i’m inside you. let me feel it.” — and you did. it hit you like a lightning strike, your body tightening around him, toes curling, vision completely blurring, a scream tearing out of you as your orgasm tore through your entire body. you clenched around him hard, shaking, crying, falling apart with your forehead pressed against the couch. jisung’s groan was primal but he didn't stop. he kept thrusting, still fucking you through every wave, prolonging your high, making you sob his name over and over. “fuck—i’m gonna come,” he says, his thrusts getting messier and messier, “cherry–i’m–fuck–”
you reached back blindly, pushing at his abs, your voice raw, you wanted to taste him, wanted to feel him around your lips, “pull out.” he barely managed to obey, pulling out with a deep, shuddering moan, his cock flushed and twitching, soaked in both of you. before he could pump himself to finish, you spun around and wrapped your lips around him. his enitre body jolted, “oh—holy shit—,” his hand flew to your hair, eyes shutting in bliss as you sucked him deep, sloppy and perfect. your hand stroking what your mouth couldn’t reach. you tasted yourself on him and moaned around his cock, sucking harder, faster. he didn’t last. not after everything. “i’m—fuck—i’m gonna—,” he came with a cry, hips twitching as he spilled on your tongue, hot and thick. you swallowed it all, not breaking eye contact, until he finally sagged into the couch, pulling you into his arms. then, softly, through the haze of sweat and warmth, he laughed, “holy fuck,” he murmured, dragging a hand down his face, ”that was…”
you glanced over at him, still breathless, “yeah.” he turned his head toward you slowly, eyes heavy and warm, a proud smirk on his lips, “i told you round two would blow your mind.” you smiled, still trying to catch your breath, as your giggles filled his ears like music, “you really really did,” you share a smile until– knock. knock. knock. you both froze. another knock. this time louder. then a very tired voice, “are you two finished? it’s past 15 minutes of lock up.” your eyes widened in horror, “oh my god—” you hissed, scrambling upright, limbs like jelly, “the janitor.” jisung blinked, then burst into a laugh, dragging his shirt on, still breathless, “i completely forgot he existed.”
you stood up, way too fast, and immediately stumbled. your legs gave out beneath you, rubbery and useless. “whoa—” jisung caught you, arms around your waist in an instant, steadying you, “careful.” you shot him a glare, cheeks burning. he just smirked, looking way too proud of himself.“can’t walk straight already?” he teased, voice low, “should’ve warned you i was gonna break you tonight.” you swatted his chest, face flushed, but didn’t bother denying it. you could still feel him. you yanked on your clothes with shaking fingers, jacket barely zipped, hair a mess, and followed jisung as he opened the door.
the janitor stood just outside, arms crossed, mop in hand, expression unimpressed. you kept your eyes glued to the floor as you passed him, “i’m so sorry,” you muttered, barely audible. he just sighed and waved a hand, “college kids,” he muttered, “i don’t get paid enough for this.” you wanted to die. but when jisung’s hand found yours briefly, squeezing it in the hallway and whispering, “worth it,” in your ear, you couldn’t help the smile that pulled at your lips. because yeah. it really, really was.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
outside, the air was sharp and cool against your flushed skin. the sky had that deep, velvety black that only came after midnight, and the campus was nearly silent, save for the hum of the occasional streetlamp. jisung walked beside you, hands tucked into his hoodie pockets, glancing at you every few steps like he wasn’t sure if he should say something or not. he waited until you crossed the street, until the night wrapped fully around you both like a secret, before he finally spoke again, “cherry,” he said, voice a little quieter now, “i hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
you glanced over, raised a brow, “hmm?”
he hesitated, “i’m… not looking for a relationship.”there was a pause. a heavy one. he was bracing for it. your face to fall, your voice to rise. the same thing that always happened after every hookup. every girl. except, unlike all the other girls, jisung actually enjoyed your presence. this friendship that wasn’t quite a friendship. he thinks he’ll be a little sad if you get angry. still, he was waiting for it. he’d heard it in different ways: “you’re such a dick.” “so you just used me?” “was this a game to you?”
he’d memorized every version. but then — you laughed. not a bitter one. not mocking. just light, genuine, almost amused. “yeah,” you said, shaking your head, “i know.”
he blinked, “you—what?” you looked over at him, hands stuffed into your own pockets, your voice teasing, “i wasn’t expecting a relationship from the school’s number one fuckboy. you don’t have to worry.” — another pause. longer this time. you weren’t mad. you weren’t heartbroken. you weren’t even disappointed. you were just… honest. and maybe a little dangerous for it. jisung didn’t answer right away. he stared straight ahead, jaw tight, processing that. all the girls before had wanted something. even if they’d said they didn’t. they’d always tried to mean more. push past what he could give. but you? you weren’t asking for anything. and somehow, that made you feel more real than anyone else he’d ever touched. in his head, the decision was final – this girl. you. his cherry. you were perfect. if he had to date someone just to get the boys off his ass about being a “cold-hearted fuckboy,” he thought it’d be you. no drama. no bullshit. you get it. you get him. you always have.
“still walking me home?” you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.
“it’s too late for any woman to walk alone,” he said easily, nodding, “i may be a dick, but i’m not that much of a dick.”
🍒 DAY 8 OF THE BET - BE MY GIRLFRIEND.
jisung hates liars. you can call him cruel, heartless, toxic but he draws the line at lying. he’d been lied to once, brutally, gut-wrenchingly, and it had been enough to last a lifetime. promises of forever. of waiting. of purity. all shattered when he saw his highschool sweetheart tangled up with someone else. since then, he didn’t lie. he omitted. he deflected. he joked. but he didn’t lie. — so when he decided you were the perfect girl to play his girlfriend, not for real love, not for real feelings, but to shut everyone up. he wasn’t going to lie to you about it. not even a little. last night had changed things. not in the way people meant. not hearts and roses and dumb love songs. last night something clicked. you got him. you weren’t clingy or emotional or accusatory. you didn’t read too much into his silence or expect to fix himself overnight. you laughed when other girls would’ve cried.
finally, during water break, when the others were too tired to care, he stood up, walked across the studio and grabbed your wrist. “i–jisung–what–,” you sputtered, nearly tripping over your bottle as he pulled you out of the room. karina’s wide-eyed stare was the last thing you caught before the door slammed shut behind you. he didn’t stop walking until you were outside, behind the building, tucked into the edge of campus where the lights didn’t quite reach. secluded. quiet. he dropped your wrist. then he looked at you, “i have a favor to ask,” he whispered, like it was some sort of secret.
you looked up, a little breathless, “sounds dangerous…what is it?” jisung rubbed his palms on his sweats, a little nervous, which annoyed him and then said, bluntly, “will you be my girlfriend?”
you stared at him, pretending to process it. letting the silence stretch, even though your answer was already cemented in your mind the second he said those words. he looked so serious. like this was some great moral weight. but he didn’t know about the whispered conversation with your friends. the bet. this wasn’t a decision. this was a win. you tilted your head, played innocent, let your eyes soften just enough, “i thought you weren’t looking for a relationship?”
“i’m not,” jisung said, like it should have been obvious, “not really. not like–,” he cut himself off, pacing once, realizing how ridiculous it sounded now that he’s asked, before facing you again, “i just need to sell it. make it look real. the guys think i’m spiraling. they had a literal intervention. i need them off my back.”
you feigned hesitation, “so what, you want to fake date me?”
“no,” he said immediately, voice firm, “no, that won’t work. chenle already did the whole fake dating thing with his girl. the guy’s will smell it from a mile away,” he exhaled, shoving his hands into his pockets, “i need it to be real.”
you blinked, “real?”
“as in–,” he looked away, swallowing, “we date exclusively. in public. you stay the night. i walk you to class. we kiss and have sex even when no one’s watching. we act like we’re in love.”
you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling, “let me get this straight,” you said, voice light, “you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend, but like, not pretend at all?” he nodded. dead serious. you raised a brow, “and what’s in it for me?”
that cocky little grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, the one that made girls swoon and your friends groan, “i’m pretty sure i gave you the best orgasm of your life last night,” he said inching closer, “be my girlfriend, cherry. i’ll make sure you get more of those. as many as you want.”
and there it was – the perfect hook. you let yourself smile this time. sweet. dangerous. like a girl who had no idea what she was doing. but you did. you knew exactly what you were doing. “alright,” you said softly, “let’s do it.”
his eyes flickered – surprise first, then something like gratitude. you added, teasingly, “but i’m not calling you a stupid nickname.” he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. a small, boyish gesture that made something twinge in your chest before you could shove it away. because he really had no idea. no idea that the girl agreeing to this deal had a scoreboard in her head and a ticking clock to match. it wasn’t love. not yet. but if you had anything to do with it, it would be.
by new years, park jisung would fall for you. and when he does – you win.
you and jisung stood just outside the classroom door, his hand wrapped around yours. neither of you said anything. you didn’t need to. the second he squeezed your hand slightly, you understood. sell it. so you stepped back in, fingers laced. and just like you expected, the room went dead quiet. karina froze mid-sip from her water bottle. sion nearly dropped his phone. even professor taeyong raised an eyebrow but said nothing, merely adjusting his clipboard with a knowing glance. jisung didn’t let go. all he did was turn towards you, making sure every eye was still watching. then, with that same casual boldness that had driven all the girls insane, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips. not rushed. not forced. just solid. real. then he stepped back, a little smug, a little breathless and shot you a wink before strolling to the other side of the room like he didn’t just drop a bomb on the entire class. you turned, trying not to laugh at the dozen dropped jaws around you. karina mouthed what the fuck from across the mirrors. you just gave her a small, innocent shrug. like oops, i guess i really am that good.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
when jisung walked through the door, the dream house was too quiet. he knew something was off before he even saw them. all six of them were in the living room, spread out like they’d been waiting for hours. no music. no snacks — just mark, arms folded like a disappointed older brother. renjun, sitting with his legs crossed on the couch, like he was at some important business meeting. haechan standing, arms crossed, weight shifting like he was barely holding back. jeno on the armrest, unreadable. jamin leaning forward, elbows on his knees, eyes sharp. and chenle, uncharacteristically quiet, by the wall.
“...did someone die?.” jisung asked slowly. mark didn’t answer. just nodded toward the armchair, “sit.”
jisung gave a half-hearted chuckle, “what is this, another intervention?”
“don’t play dumb,” haechan said flatly, “word gets around fast.”
renjun tilted his head, “so…you have a girlfriend now? just like that?”
jisung didn’t flinch, “yeah. she’s my girlfriend.”
chenle’s eyebrows lifted, “if this whole thing is fake, i’ll have you know, i know the signs.”
jisung rolled his eyes, “we’re not fake dating…what? you think i’d recycle your trope?”
chenle opened his mouth to reply but haechan cut in sharply, “if you’re lying about this just to get us off your back–”
“i’m not.” jisung said. clear and final. mark leaned forward, voice level but stern, “we just had a serious conversation with you a week ago. you expect us to believe you’re suddenly healed and in love?”
“no,” jisung said, “i’m not in love. but i like her.”
jeno’s voice cut through, calm but laced with worry, “so why her? why now?”
jisung ran a hand through his hair. the easy answers were there. his usual lines. the charming grin. the shrug-it-off jokes. but he didn’t use them. instead, he met their gazes, one by one, and said, “she’s the only person who’s ever made me feel like i wasn’t completely faking it.” that quieted them for a beat. he kept on going, “she knows who i am. she doesn’t expect anything from me that i can’t give. she lets me breathe.”
there was a beat of quiet. jaemin broke it, “you sure you’re not using her to prove a point?” jisung’s jaw flexed. he knew this was coming. knew that the boys would see right through him. but still, it was annoying, “i’m not using her.”
renjun’s voice was quiet. the kind of quiet that made sure you listened, “you better not be. because if this turns out like every other fling, you’re not just hurting her. you’re setting yourself back again.”
“and you better not be lying to us, jisung,” haechan adds, a little tired, “because at this point? you’d only be lying to yourself.”
jisung inhaled through his nose, “i’m not lying.”
mark studied him, long and careful, “so…she’s gonna be with you at the christmas party tomorrow then?”
“of course,” jisung answered like it was obvious, “she’s my girlfriend. who else is she gonna be with?” — still, none of the boys nodded. none of them smiled. but none of them argued. the silence that followed wasn’t approval. it was conditional trust. the benefit of the doubt. and in the quiet of that moment, jisung realized something — he hadn’t lied. not once.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the studio had gone quiet for the night. the music long stopped, mirrors fogged with the echo of movements that had faded into stillness. you were both flushed from rehearsal, sweat cooling on your skin, muscles pleasantly sore – but the energy between you was far from worn out. you were seated on the couch, twisting the cap back on your water bottle when jisung tugged at your wrist.
“come here,” he said, voice low but playful. you look at him suspiciously, “what?” he pulled again, stronger this time, until you gave in with a dramatic sigh and let him guide you into his lap, your legs sliding on either side of his hips. “jisung–,” you began, but he was already grinning up at you, smug and utterly relaxed with your weight on him.
“i just want you to sit here–” he said, hands sliding to your waist, fingers pressing lightly against your sides like he wasn’t even fully aware of how much he was touching you, “-easier to talk.”
“you’re touchy tonight,” you said, trying to keep your voice even. but your fingers were already curling into his hoodie.
“i’m your boyfriend,” he said with a shrug, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “shouldn’t i be?” you leaned back slightly, bracing your hands on his shoulder, “oh right, the convenient boyfriend,” you smirk.
“exactly,” he smiled, but it was softer now, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles along your lower back, “and since i’m your boyfriend…you have to come to the dream christmas party with me tomorrow night.”
you raised a brow, “have to?”
“yup,” he said without hesitation, “it’s in the fine print.” you gave him a teasing roll of your eyes, “what else is in the fine print?”
he tilted his head, pretending to think, his fingers dipping just under the back of your shirt, “you show up, make me look good, we go upstairs, i make you feel even better…,” he leaned in, breath brushing your lips, “oh and you have to wear something short and sexy,.”
you laughed, unable to help it, “you just want to show me off.”
he smirked, “obviously. you’re hot.”
you leaned in, mouth close to his, “okay, i’ll show up in something short and sexy, what else?”
he tilted his head, eyes flicking between your lips and your eyes, “you stay glued to my side the whole night. no disappearing. you let me be handsy on the dancefloor.”
your breath caught, lips parted, “you’re really committing to this role.”
“i take my relationships very seriously,” he said, voice low, “especially the parts with kissing.” one of his hands rose slowly, sliding up your spine, under your shirt, across bare skin. the other came up to cup your jaw, thumb brushing your cheek, like he needed to anchor you there.
then softer, like a secret, “cherry,” he murmured, “i’m not pretending when i touch you.” the words weren’t cocky. weren’t cheeky. they were honest. quiet, sudden, deep. you opened your mouth, to say what, you weren’t sure, but he kissed you before you could answer. it wasn’t rushed. it wasn’t even lust-heavy…yet. it was slow. real. a little dangerous. your fingers curled into the fabric of his hoodie as you kissed him back, letting yourself melt into the press of his lips, the way his hands held you like you were something breakable. then…his hands moved again. slipping under your shirt now, palming your waist, thumbs brushing just under your bra, like he knew exactly what he was doing. your hips shifted, instinctively, helplessly, grinding ever so slightly against his, enough to feel him hard beneath you, heat searing through thin layers of fabric. the tension cracked. his breath caught. his mouth moved faster now, hands gripping harder. he dragged you forward again, grinding you into him. the friction was dizzying. enough to hurt. enough to want more. a low groan vibrated in his throat, swallowed by the heat of your kiss. your fingers fisted in the front of his hoodie, needing something to hold onto as your thighs clenched around him. you weren’t sure if you wanted to push closer or push away, but it didn’t matter. he wasn’t letting you go.
“jisung,” you gasped, pulling back just enough to breathe, your lips swollen, dazed, “we can’t— we can’t keep doing this to the janitor.” he blinked. and then he lost it. full-body laughter exploded out of him, his head tipping back against the couch with a ridiculous grin stretching wide across his face, “god—” he wheezed, still clutching you, “he probably hates us.” you dissolved into laughter too, burying your face in his shoulder, half from embarrassment, half from how insanely turned on you still were, “i think we’re on a hit list,” you said between breaths.
“he’s got a support group,” jisung snorted. you smacked his chest, grinning, “shut up.” he grinned wider, pulling you back by your waist, and this time his mouth landed right beneath your jaw, hot, open, biting softly. you gasped again, “i’m serious.”
“so am i,” his voice was low again, teasing, “i think he cries in his car after.”
“jisung—” he looked up, smug, eyes dark, “yes, my girlfriend?” you hated how hot it was when he said it like that—cocky and warm and just a little too pleased with himself.
“you’re an idiot.”
he leaned in again, mouth brushing yours, “five more minutes,” he murmured, “and then we can be respectful citizens again.”
🍒 DAY 9 OF THE BET - REARRANGE YOUR GUTS.
the dream fraternity looked like the north pole had been possessed by sin. red and green LED lights pulsed through the hallways. plastic snow clung to the windows. bass-heavy remixes of christmas songs thumped through the walls. mistletoe dangled dangerously from the door frames. the whole house was filled with the unholy combination of spiked eggnog, peppermint vodka and a crowd of way too attractive twenty-somethings dressed like they were auditioning for a holiday-themed music video. slutty mrs. clauses. shirtless reindeers. fishnet-wrapped elves. you walked in with jisung. you were wearing red. the kind of red that didn’t whisper holiday cheer but warning: distraction ahead. tight, short, hugging every curve in that kind of way that made jaws slacken and jisung tighten his grip on your waist without even realizing it. he looks good too. black jeans, a white button up with the buttons barely buttoned, his smug smile in full effect. you were glued to the hip. easy smiles. quick touches. shots that went down too fast. it was easy to be his girlfriend when the lust between you pulsed like a second heartbeat. easy to be his girlfriend when his hands found your waist like they belonged there. and maybe, just maybe, you liked it a little too much.
sometime around your fifth shot. you and jisung were ambushed. cornered in the kitchen by the full dream lineup and their suspiciously pretty, incredibly judgmental girlfriends – jaemin with angel. jeno with bunny. mark with kitten. chenle with baby. haechan with princess. NCTU’s golden couples. and they were all looking at you like you were a new transfer student stepping into the middle of a high school cafeteria. jisung kept it cool. one arm slung around your waist, the other gripping a red solo cup like it was a stress ball.
“hey,” he said casually, “this is my girlfriend, y/n.” the word still sounded strange, even though you’d heard it before. he said it like it wasn’t borrowed. like it was true.
“you didn’t, like, hire her off craigslist?,” haechan asked, sipping his drink.
you rolled your eyes, “does craigslist even exist anymore, grandpa?”
princess laughed immediately before disguising it with a cough when haechan stared her down with a look, almost saying you’re supposed to be on my side.
“oh, she’s funny,” bunny whispered to jeno.
“and hot,” baby whispered louder.
“thank you,” you said sweetly.
kitten raised a brow, “so…how’d you two meet?”
jisung opened his mouth, but you beat him to it, “we’ve actually known each other since freshman year. dance majors. it’s a long story,” you say casually.
angel smirked, “who made the first move?”
“technically? me but he did the heavy lifting,” you replied, sipping from your cup.
baby smiled, excited for her next question, like she couldn’t believe it was her turn to ask this. “is he good in bed?”
jisung choked on his drink, blush immediately creeping up his ears. you grinned, “very. i could barely walk after.”
the girls leaned in like you were telling ghost stories. princess smirked, “big?”
“the pictures don’t do him justice…i wasn’t sure he was gonna fit,” you answer with a sly smile, still calmly sipping your drink. their jaw drops. meanwhile, the guys stayed quiet, all standing behind their girlfriends, arms draped protectively, watching your back-and-forth carefully. looking for cracks, inconsistencies. but you knew your story, and you delivered it well. no hesitation. no flinching. and you haven’t said a single lie. jisung physically recoiled, his body burning, “okay–wow–okay, do you guys have to do this?” there was something vulgar about you showing him off. something that made all the blood rush to his cock.
“what’s his nickname for you?,” chenle cuts in, smirking. if you didn’t have a nickname, jisung was fucked.
“cherry,” you say easily. not even thinking about it.
“awee, that’s so cute,” bunny sighs.
“i like her,” angel decided.
“yeah,” baby nodded, “she passes.”
“what do you like most about him?,” kitten asked, not convinced just yet. it was the hardest question of the night. not because you didn’t have an answer. but because it wasn’t about lust. or performance. or fun. it was real. your eyes found jisung, his gaze met yours, a question in his eyes. you smiled, soft, “he makes me laugh,” you said, voice steady but soft, and for the first time that night, your teasing tone faded into something honest. jisung, who had been nursing his drink beside you, blinked, just once. you didn’t look at him. you kept your eyes on kitten, who had asked the question, but you could feel the way he stilled beside you, “i don’t have to pretend around him,” you went on, “like, i’ve never felt the need to act cooler or tougher or sweeter just to keep his attention. he’s already seen the awkward, most humiliating parts of me and he doesn’t flinch.”
jisung shifted, a tiny lean toward you. like your words had reached somewhere he hadn’t meant to expose. you glanced at him for a split second. his face was unreadable, but his grip on his cup had loosened, “and,” you added, with a small smile, “even when he’s annoying or smug… he listens. he notices things. he remembers them. he just…gets me.”
for a second, there was a beat of silence. even the music from the living room felt far away. jisung just looked at you like he was trying to memorize the moment. and then princess let out a dramatic sigh, “okay, what the fuck, that was actually beautiful.” the other girls murmured in agreement, while the boys exchanged glances, a little stunned.
chenle clapped once, “it was convincing.”
haechan narrowed his eyes then adds, “still feels suspicious.”
then jeno grinned, “one last thing.” he pointed upward with his drink and like a synchronized sitcom cue, everyone’s heads tilted up — directly above you and jisung, taped to the cabinet, dropping slightly but still unmistakable there — was a sprig of glitter, plastic mistletoe. you turned your head to jisung. he was already looking at you. no nerves. no hesitation. his cup hit the counter behind you and then his hand was on your jaw, guiding you into a kiss like it was second nature. like it was already a habit. it wasn’t rushed. wasn’t dramatic. just firm, familiar and too easy to forget you weren’t alone. the girls let out a chorus of ooooohs, some random drunk in the back wolf-whistled and chenle rolled his eyes, “it’s the holiday. let them have their fake love story.”
finally, mark shrugged, “fine. you passed the test. for now.”
jaemin added, “but if you hurt him…”
you raised a brow, “he’ll deserve it.” that made them laugh. jisung didn’t say anything. but he looked at you for a second longer than necessary. there was something soft in his eyes now, something warmer than the flush of alcohol in his cheeks. and for the first time, the boys looked… quietly convinced. the group slowly began to disperse, satisfied with their interrogation. the golden couples peeling off one by one – jaemin and angel returning to the living room, bunny tugging jeno toward the drinks table, mark whispering something to kitten that made her roll her eyes before laughing softly, chenle and baby starting a beer pong game, and haechan and princess slipping away mid-banter, their bickering fading into the music. you and jisung stayed in the kitchen for another beat, sharing a knowing glance.
“do you think we passed?,” you asked, nudging him.
he raised an eyebrow, “you basically said i rearranged your guts in front of five of my hyungs and their girlfriends. we passed with flying colors.”
you laughed, bumping your shoulder against his, “they asked. i answered.” he smirked, grabbing your hand and tugging you back into the living room where people were dancing. arms in the air. offbeat footwork. someone doing the worm in a corner for absolutely no reason. and it was fun. you and jisung danced, easy and laughing, like no one was watching. like it didn’t matter. like your bodies knew the rhythm of each other already. he spun you once, exaggerated and dramatic, then dipped you too low, catching you just in time. you squealed, smacked his shoulder, and he grinned like he’d been waiting all night for that exact moment. and then you saw them. your friends – karina, sophia, sion and dongpyo. all standing near the wall, cups in hand, clearly people-watching. except they weren’t watching just anyone they were watching you. four pairs of widened eyes with expressions that are a mix of disbelief and celebration. you caught their eyes across the dance floor and coolly, confidently, held up two fingers, rubbing them against your thumb – the money signal. karina groaned on the spot, face-palming like she couldn’t believe you were really winning. sophia snorted into her drink. sion gave you the slow, proud nod of a man witnessing history. dongpyo let out a loud, echoing “YES!” that got drowned out by the bass drop but still made people look. only the four of them knew what it meant. the win was yours. soon.
you turned back to jisung, smile still tugging at the corner of your lips. he didn’t notice the exchange. and then, somewhere between songs, his hand slipped low on your waist. he leaned in close, his voice a quiet, honey-smooth murmur against your ear, “i’m pretty sure,” he said, “the fine print included going upstairs and making you feel even better.” your heart skipped a beat. and just like that, he was pulling you up the stairs. the party fades behind you, the pulse of bass and drunken voices muffled as jisung shuts the door to his room with a quiet click. his hand is still laced with yours, and your skin is buzzing — from alcohol, from adrenaline, from him. he guides you inside, gently sitting you down on the edge of his bed. his room doesn’t look much different from freshman year, the led lights are still blue, casting soft shadows across the room, making the moment feel suspended in its own little bubble.
jisung moves over to his speakers and grins, “got a christmas present for you.” before you can ask what, the unmistakable beat of pony starts to play, your eyes widen “oh my god,” you burst out laughing, “no fucking way.”
jisung looks over his shoulder, that shit-eating grin growing, he watches you laugh, “you remember this?”
“how could i forget?,” you try to contain your laughter, but then jisung starts performing. body rolls, thrusts – slow, deliberate, confident, every motion teasing. like he’s channeling his own magic mike show. his shirt hits the floor first, and you have to bite down on your lip as his fingers trail over his abs. then he grinds on floor, hips rolling with every beat, pants inching down gradually until the only thing between you and his dick is a thin pair of black boxers. and even that’s barely doing its job. his bulge is already obscene, thick and heavy, the shape of him outlined perfectly. you swear you can see the weight of it. your thighs instinctively press together.
“you’re drooling,” he teases, before parting your legs open and sliding up in between them, still body rolling. “oh, shut up,” you giggled, smacking his chest. but your hands stay there, fingers trailing down the lines of his abs, then lower, his cock straining against his briefs.
“you want me to keep going?” he murmurs, voice low and teasing.
you nod, breathless, “take them off.”
“say please.” you roll your eyes, then murmur it right against his mouth, “please.” he groans and strips the last layer off, and fuck. you’ve seen him hard before. you’ve felt him. but nothing compares to this — to the way he stands in front of you, completely, bare and unashamed, cock hard and heavy, curving up toward his stomach.
“tongue-tied already?” he teases. you reach for him without thinking, wrapping your fingers around the base of his length, “you’re so big, jisung.”
he hisses, hips twitching, “and you take every inch like a good girl, don’t you?,” he mutters, a finger under your chin. the words make you clench around nothing. he pulls you to your feet, undressing you slowly — like he’s unwrapping something precious. your dress slips off your shoulders. your panties slide down your legs. when you’re finally naked, he drags his eyes up your body and groans, “fucking perfect.”
you’re already soaking when he takes a seat at the edge of his bed, pulling you into his lap and guiding you to straddle him. he kisses you once, deep and messy, before pulling back, “condom?” you shake your head no, “just pull out again,” you breathe, pulling him closer, already grinding down against him.
he groans, “fuck, you’re gonna kill me.” with one hand wrapped around his cock, you line him up, and then you sink down. it’s not graceful. it never is with jisung. it’s filthy and slow and overwhelming. your walls stretch to take him, breath catching in your throat as he fills you up. he’s too big. he knows he’s too big. he lives for the way your body struggles to take all of him, “fuck, cherry,” he groans, head falling back, “you always forget how big i am until i’m inside you, huh?”
you whimper, jaw dropping, digging your nails into his shoulders, “too big—jisung, fuck.”
“take your time,” he breathes, voice barely holding together, “you got it.” — you feel the stretch, the pressure. when you finally sit all the way, you cling to him, forehead to forehead, panting. then his hand slides down your stomach, fingers spreading wide just beneath your ribs. this new angle was intense. “look,” he whispers, awe in his voice, “you see that?” you glance down. there’s a visible bulge pressing up in your belly. a shape. him. you moan, soft and wrecked, and jisung groans like he’s going to lose it, his eyes are locked on it, completely wrecked, “that’s me,” he says darkly, rubbing slow circles over the visible shape of his cock inside you, “so fucking deep. i’m inside your stomach, cherry.”
“holy shit,” you breathe, whimpering, “i feel everything,” you tighten around him just to feel his reaction and he hisses through his teeth, fingers digging into your ass, “you like that?,” he practically growls, “knowing how deep i am?”
“i love it,” you groan, rolling your hips.
“you were made for this,” he grunts, lifting his hips into you, “made for me.” your hands claw at his chest as you begin to move, slow at first, circling your hips as he groans beneath you. every thrust hits deep, dragging across every nerve, every sweet spot, until your thighs are shaking and you can’t stop the sounds spilling from your lips.
he grabs one breast, tongue lapping over your nipple, then sucks hard, while his fingers pinch the other. you cry out, body jerking, “jisung—fuck, slow down with the marks,” you gasp, “do you know how much concealer i’ve been using just to hide the other ones?”
“i don’t give a shit,” he murmurs, laughing into your skin, then switching to the other, sucking even harder, “they’ll see you’re mine.” — you start riding him in earnest, bouncing in his lap, your thighs burning, his cock stretching you perfectly over and over again. the room is filled with nothing but moans, wet sounds, skin on skin. he grabs your ass, thrusting up into you harder, “look at you. stuffed full. you love it, don’t you?” you nod, unable to speak, that heat in your stomach threatening to break with every thrust, “fuck—jisung, i’m close—,” you choke out.
“come for me, cherry” he pants, “i wanna feel it. feel you squeezing me.” he slams up into you at just the right angle. and it hits. your orgasm shatters, head tossed back, nails sinking into his shoulders, thighs shaking as your walls clamp down around him. your entire body jerks as the wave pulls you under, collapsing against his chest, breath gone. but jisung doesn’t stop. he’s still thrusting up into you, faster now, chasing his own high. his rhythm turns brutal, desperate, driving into you so deep and quick it knocks the air right out of your lungs. you scream, overstimulated and wrecked, the pleasure riding that fine line between too much and not enough. “jisung—” you gasp, voice hoarse, eyes watering, “too much—”
“i know, cherry,” he groans, voice thick with hunger, “but i need you. just a little more. let me feel you again.” you cling to him, moaning helplessly as his cock keeps dragging along that oversensitive spot inside you, again and again. it stings, sharp and raw, but your body starts to give way to it, the pain blurring into pleasure, nerve endings frayed and sparking as the burn starts to fade. then it coils again. that low, unbearable ache in your belly, winding up faster than before, tighter. you cry out, overwhelmed, mind blank as that second orgasm barrels toward you with no mercy, “jisung—fuck—again—i’m gonna—”
“do it,” he groans, rutting up harder. and you do. you break all over again, back arching hard, a sob ripping from your throat as your second orgasm tears through your already sensitive body. it slams into you like a crashing wave, stealing your voice, your breath, your everything. your pussy fluttering around him so tight and wet it forces a strangled sound from his throat.
“fuck, fuck—i’m coming—” he pulls out fast, just in time, pumping himself through it as hot release splashes over your stomach and chest. his head drops to your shoulder, breath hot and panting against your neck. you’re shaking in his lap, every inch of you trembling, ruined and flushed and boneless. the room is wrecked with slick, heat, and the aftershocks of everything you just gave each other. then jisung moves. soft hands. gentle touches. he grabs his shirt from the floor and gently wipes you clean, careful with your still-quivering skin. as he goes, he peppers kisses to your collarbone, your sternum, the tip of your chin—each one a quiet apology and a reverent thank-you.
“did i hurt you?” he murmurs, still breathless but gentle now, “talk to me.”
you manage a shaky laugh, curling into his neck, “no,” you whisper, “that was perfect…just… fuck.”he exhales slowly, like he’s letting go of something he hadn’t even realized he was holding, and pulls the both of you up to his pillows, tucking the covers around you. his arms wrap around your waist tightly as he pulls you flush to his chest, pressing a kiss to your temple, then another to your cheek, then your jaw. when he’s sure you’re safe, warm, and steady in his arms, he lets his body relax beneath yours. and when you finally found your voice, you murmur, “by the way… happy anniversary.”
he stills. then pulls back to look at you. “wait…no way.” you grin sleepily, a tiny smirk on your lips. his eyes widened. then he laughs, soft and amazed. “wow. can you believe we were those same awkward freshmen?”
you smile, eyes fluttering shut, “thank god we’re not. because you knowing what to do with your dick is the best thing that’s happened to my sex life.” he snorts, cheeks pink as he buries his face in your neck, “shut up.” then he pulls the blanket tighter around both of you, arm wrapped around your waist, breath steadying against your skin.
🍒 DAY 10 OF THE BET - A HOLY NIGHT.
you wake up tangled in warm sheets. jisung’s arm is still draped around your waist, his chest rising and falling steadily against your back, his face buried in the curve of your neck like he can’t stand to let you go even in sleep. you stretch, smiling to yourself as the memories of last night flood back — pony, his hand on your stomach, and the way he whispered mine with his lips against your throat. now, the ache lingers between your thighs, deep in your hips, your skin humming with the memory of him. he’s behind you, his breath warm against the back of your neck. you can feel his morning wood pressed against you, thick and hot, heavy against the curve of your ass through nothing but skin. you think about turning over. saying good morning. maybe teasing him. but then he shifts again, hips nudging forward instinctively. there’s a pause. a sleepy groan. and then— he’s inside you.
you gasp, eyes flying open, mouth parting on a broken sound as he buries himself in you with one slow, lazy thrust. thick, deep, stretching you open like he owns you, “jisung—” you whisper, voice already breathless. a low groan rumbles from his chest as he presses closer, his body molding to yours, keeping you in place with his arm still locked around your waist. “fuck… still so warm,” he murmurs against your shoulder, “still wet.”
“i’m sore,” you breathe, shivering as he pulls back and slides in again, just as deep, “so sore…”
“good,” he groans, “wanna keep you sore all day.”the words make your walls flutter around him, and he notices — of course he does, “yeah? you like that?” he whispers, nuzzling your neck, fucking you in slow, steady rolls of his hips, he brings one of your legs up, wrapping it around his hips for easier access, hitting you just right, “waking up with me inside you, still wrecked from the night before?”you can’t even answer. everything feels too good. you’re still heavy with sleep, and every nerve feels exposed. like the drowsy haze has stripped away all your defenses. his cock drags against your sensitive walls. and the stretch, the heat, the fullness—it’s overwhelming. “i can’t—fuck,” you choke out, fingers gripping the sheets as your hips rock back into him, “i’m already so close.”
“that’s it,” he breathes, curling tighter around you, his chest flush against your back, his hand sliding between your thighs to find your clit, “want you to soak my cock first thing in the morning.” he circles your clit slow, teasing, while his thrusts grow deeper, more purposeful, thick, gliding friction that has your whole body trembling, “please—jisung—oh my god—”
“let go,” he whispers, “let me have it.” you fall apart with a strangled cry, legs shaking under the covers, hips jerking against his as your orgasm rushes through you — sharp and fast and almost unbearable in your half-asleep state. he moans your name into your shoulder as your walls clamp down around him, pulsing and wet. and then he’s gone. unraveling with you, cursing under his breath as he thrusts once, twice more. he spills inside you with a groan so low it vibrates against your spine. you both go still — breathing heavy, bodies flushed, tangled under the sheets with his cock still inside you, keeping you full. your brows draw together slightly as you feel his warmth buried deep inside you.
“…fuck, jisung,” you blink, voice still wrecked and lazy, “did you just come inside me?”
he exhales a soft laugh, nosing at your jaw, sleepy and smug, “don’t worry, cherry. got a morning-after pill somewhere in the condom drawer.”
you snort, still breathless, and let out a soft laugh, “thank god,” you let your head fall back onto the pillow, chest still rising and falling, legs still weak, “because i am not ready to carry your kids.” there’s a pause. then he smirks, pressing another kiss to your skin, slower this time, more dangerous. “don’t tempt me.” you turn your head just enough to catch the gleam in his eyes, “was that a threat or a promise?”
he groans playfully, shifting his hips just enough to make you gasp again, “say one more thing and i will go for round two,” he counters, still nestled against you, his cock softening but still inside, like he can’t stand to leave your body just yet. you laugh, breathless and warm. you both lie there for a moment longer — hearts racing, skin sticky, limbs tangled beneath the weight of the duvet. his fingers trace lazy circles on your stomach, still holding you close.
he presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder. “merry christmas, cherry,” he murmurs, voice tender and low.
you smile, heart full, “merry christmas, jisung.” you finally turn in his arms, and he meets you halfway, pressing a soft, slow kiss to your lips – warm, gentle, sweet.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
twenty minutes later, the two of you are downstairs, you’re standing in the middle of a surprisingly clean kitchen, definitely not as wrecked as the living room. you’re dressed head to toe in him — jisung’s oversized pajama top swallowing your frame, his boxers peeking out beneath the hem, and his fuzzy gray socks slouching halfway down your calves. jisung pulls a mixing bowl from the cabinet as you roll up your sleeves, “alright, let’s get to work, baker park.”
“i’m warning you now,” he says, weirdly serious, “i burn toast.” he wasn’t lying. you regret everything about two minutes in. jisung is a disaster. he mistakes salt for pepper, almost washed the chocolate chips with water and soap, nearly cracks an entire egg shell into the batter, and at one point tries to microwave the butter with the foil still on. you catch it just in time.
“i said i burn toast!,” he defends, pouting as he stirs what might possibly be the lumpiest cookie dough on earth. you lean in, scraping the sides of the bowl for him, “you’re lucky you’re cute.”
“you think i’m cute?” he teases, eyes gleaming.
“shut up,” you nudge him, rolling your eyes.
he takes a pinch of the batter and tastes it, “mmm, tastes like… regret.” you dissolve into laughter before carefully placing the tray into the oven and then squealing when he lunges at you, batter-covered fingers raised like claws. “don’t you dare—,” you scream, grabbing the spatula to keep him an arms length away. “too late!,” he says, that mischievous smirk growing with every second. he chases you around the kitchen island, the two of you shrieking with laughter, “jisung, stop!” you gasp, cheeks aching from smiling too much. “never!” he says, matching your expression. you finally spin around and catch him mid-lunge, pressing a quick, sticky kiss to his mouth. it stuns him. for just a second. the next he’s grabbing you by the hips and lifting you onto the counter like it’s second nature, sliding between your knees. his lips find yours again — slower, deeper, heated. you kiss him back, fingers threading into his hair, the sweetness of chocolate still lingering on his tongue. one of his hands trails up your thigh, fingers sneaking beneath the hem of his shirt on your body. you break the kiss with a breathless laugh, batting his hand away, “jisung.”
“what?,” he groans, still chasing your lips.
“the guys might catch us.”
“i don’t care.”
“well, i do,” you grin, pressing your forehead to his, “we’re not about to get banned from the kitchen on christmas morning.” the oven beeps. you stick your tongue out at him, earning a small chuckle from him before slipping down to check the cookies. despite the chaos — the salt incident, the finger-licking sabotage, they actually smell… good. you pull one from the tray, still warm and golden at the edges, and break it in half. steam curls from the center. jisung watches you nervously. you take a bite. pause. he squints, “what? is it bad?”
you blink, “wait. no… jisung.”
he looks ready to panic, “what? oh god, what?”
“these are actually good.” you hold the half-cookie out to him and he bites into it skeptically.
his eyes widen, “oh my god. no way. we made good cookies.” you're both stunned for a second — and then burst into simultaneous laughter. jisung grabs you by the waist again, sitting you back up on the counter, calmer now. you eat your cookies in peace, his arms lazily around your waist.
thats when the door opens — mark and kitten shuffle in first, holding hands and wearing matching hoodies that definitely weren’t hers yesterday. his lips are still a little puffy, and her neck is suspiciously turtlenecked, despite the heater being on. jaemin and angel wander in next, blanket-wrapped and practically glowing. angel’s got that just-got-worshipped-for-an-hour hair, and jaemin’s jawline is kissed raw. he doesn’t even try to hide the hickeys. jeno and bunny follow, holding hands, both flushed, looking like they got exactly two hours of sleep and the rest was cardio. bunny’s lips are glossed but smudged, and jeno has a fresh bite mark right below his ear. then there’s chenle and baby, who enter gossiping about things that happened last night. chenle’s shirt is inside out. baby’s wearing his sweats. neither of them cares. haechan and princess saunter in last, arguing about who took up more blanket space while princess is literally still wearing haechan’s boxers and he’s trailing behind her like a lovesick puppy.
then there’s renjun, standing in the doorway, looking like he’s witnessing the aftermath of a hormone-fueled high school musical. his eyes scan the room, at all the half-dressed couples, the stolen looks, the flour-dusted PDA, and he sighs like he’s aged forty years overnight, “is this a kitchen or a post-orgy snack break?”
kitten hums, curled under mark’s arm, “well, it is christmas.”
mark grins, “it was a holy night.”
renjun stares, his jaw dropping, “you did not.”
“silent night,” chenle chimes in, “not so silent anymore.” he high fives mark and baby at the same time.
jeno, smug as ever, grabs a cookie, pulling bunny into his side. “we all woke up feeling very festive.”
bunny takes one look at you on the counter in jisung’s arms and smirks, “please tell me you got railed too. you look like it.”
jisung presses a kiss to your neck without missing a beat, “twice.”
the girls laugh. the guys cheer. renjun looks like he wants to stick a fork inside the toaster, “can we please not do foreplay in the kitchen where I make my eggs?,” he sighs.
“you make eggs like twice a month,” jisung retorts.
“still! this is sacred ground,” he huffs, “why does this house suddenly feel like one of those romcom movies where everyone’s in love but me?” he mutters bitterly.
kitten takes a bite of one of the cookies and pauses, “wait… these are actually kind of perfect?”
you and jisung share matching, smug grins. you giggle into his hoodie when he says, not even trying to be quiet, “i might have to keep you forever if you keep making cookies like this.” the room falls silent. your breath catches. you stiffen, but jisung doesn’t even notice — too busy playing his boyfriend role and looking at you like you hung the moon. your fingers curl instinctively around his shoulder, the corner of your mouth twitching up, stunned and warm all over.
then, haechan, without missing a beat, “yup. he’s down bad.”
renjun drops into one of the chairs, “i hate it here.”
haechan leans toward renjun with a smirk, “you’re just mad you didn’t get to wake up with someone in your shirt.”
renjun raises a brow, “you’re right. i woke up without being suffocated in someone’s armpit. can’t relate.” princess gasps in mock offense and haechan laughs, tugging her closer. meanwhile, you and jisung stay tangled together on the counter. he’s brushing crumbs from your mouth with his thumb. you press a lazy kiss to his finger. he hums contentedly. and unbeknownst to both of you — mark, jaemin, jeno, chenle, haechan and renjun all catch the way jisung looks at you. the way he doesn’t even try to be cool about it anymore. his hands are gentle on your waist. that proud little grin on his lips. the softness in his voice. the way he looks like he finally stopped running. and quietly, without a word, all six of them glance at each other. just brief eye contact. they don’t say it aloud. they don’t have to. but every single one of them is thinking the same thing – he’s going to be okay. after everything, the quiet sadness jisung was drowning in, the late-night walks alone, the way he’d crack a joke just to change the subject, the distance he never explained. it’s all fading. replaced with the boy they remember – soft. warm. grounded. whole. present. and it’s because of you.
renjun breaks the silence again before anyone could catch on, a tiny smile on his face, “oh god. now you all are doing the heart-eyes thing? is this a cult? are the cookies laced?”
“you okay, jun?” bunny teases. renjun narrows his eyes, “no. i’m surrounded by couples who all had sex last night, this kitchen smells like frosting and pheromones, and i’m emotionally third-wheeling six relationships.”
angel opens her arms up, “come here. you can join me and jaemin.” jaemin nods, reaching out to ruffle his hair, “we’ll make room.”
renjun immediately ducks away, “get your cooties off me.” the room dissolves into laughter. someone cranks up the christmas playlist until it’s too loud. and the kitchen — frosting-smeared, sugar-dusted, chaos-filled — becomes the softest, happiest, most chaotic love nest on earth.
🍒 DAY 11 OF THE BET - LITTLE FREAKS.
everyone had gone home for a bit over the holiday break. a quick return to normal families, traditional dinners, distant relatives asking too many questions. not you. not jisung. he didn’t want to deal with his family’s concerned eyes, not when they looked at him like he was one bad choice away from completely falling apart. you didn’t want to go home. not when all anyone would ask about was your nonexistent love life. your friends hadn’t left either, too lazy.
so you invited jisung along – bowling sounded harmless enough. you definitely didn’t expect him to stick to you like velcro. he was practically glued to your side, one arm always slung casually around your waist, sometimes on your thigh. his head rested on your shoulder while you picked out your bowling ball, fingers laced through yours even when you were just waiting for your turn — the moment jisung excused himself to the bathroom, your friends pounced.
“okay, what the hell is going on?” karina hissed, leaning so far across the table she nearly knocked over her drink, “since when did you guys get so close?”
“did you see how he looked at her?,” dongpo asked, incredulous, “like she hung the fucking stars.”
you leaned back in your seat, trying not to look startled, “you guys are being dramatic,” you said, reaching for your drink, “it’s just casual.”
“casual?” sophia echoed, “girl, he kissed your shoulder. twice. no one kisses shoulders casually.”sion was squinting at you like he was trying to see through your soul, “you’re holding hands. you’re sharing drinks. he calls you cherry…are we still pretending this is just for convenience? for the bet?”
you shrugged, a little too carefully, “look, relax. i’m acting. that’s the whole point.”
“you don’t look like you’re acting,” karina said softly. her words made something uncomfortable shift in your chest. “and you’re smiling differently,” dongpyo said, suspiciously, “like, he says something and your face does this… soft thing.”
“he’s the one practically clinging to me,” you said, defensive, “that’s not on me.”
“maybe,” sion said, “but where’s the part where you roll your eyes when guys get clingy? where’s the part where you run the second things get… warm?”
you paused, fingers tightening around your cup. you tried to deflect, “it’s just physical, okay? you all saw how touchy he was. jisung’s half the work already.”
“i mean, you’re not exactly pulling away,” sophia added, “we know you, remember? you don’t like cuddling. you hate labels. you once ghosted a guy for writing you a love poem and said it was cringe.”they weren’t wrong. you throat tightened. you hated how well they knew you.
“that was cringe,” you point out, forcing a laugh, “relax, guys. i don’t fall in love. i’m just really good at making people feel special…that $500 is still mine.” but as the words left your mouth, something about them felt off. wrong. heavy. for the first time, it didn’t feel like a flex. it felt like a lie. you felt that familiar pang in your stomach. the one you’d been ignoring since christmas eve. not the lust. not excitement — guilt. because he didn’t know. because you knew what that girl did to him in high school, and you were starting to wonder if you were any better.
they all exchanged looks, clearly not convinced. “hey,” sion’s voice softened, “if something’s going on, you can tell us.” you blinked back the sudden pressure behind your eyes, “there’s nothing to tell.”
before they could press more, jisung returned, tossing a grin your way, cocky and breathless, like he already knew what kind of trouble he was about to start and your heart stuttered. “guess what i found?” he whispered in your ear, showing you a strip of photo booth pictures some random couple left behind. his fingers brush against the small of your back, “come with me.” you followed after shooting your friends a sly smile even though your stomach was in knots. and when he took your hand, guiding you up from your seat, you knew your friends were still watching. still unsure. still wondering if they should intervene. he tugged you through the neon haze of the arcade and you pushed the thoughts away, slipping past claw machines until you reached the tiny booth in the corner. it looked ancient, barely wide enough to fit two people, curtain fraying.
it started off innocent. sitting side by side. posing. smiling. peace signs. duck lips. a kiss on the cheek. then the timer clicked again, and jisung was lifting you up to sit on his lap, a tiny squeal escaping from your lips, your skirt rising high around your hips, large hands wrapping around your waist, so close to the place you need him the most. this time the pictures are less innocent. both his hands cupping your breasts, pushing them up. an open mouthed kiss. your hand on his jaw. you can feel his bulge under you and it drives you crazy. “jisung–,” you sigh into his mouth, “need to feel you,” you say, your fingers fumbling for his zipper. he complies right away, pushing his pants down just enough to free himself. a flicker of nerves lit up in your chest, but the hunger in his eyes drowned it out. he was so hard, already pulsing beneath you and you didn’t want to waste another second. you sank onto him, ignoring the sting, your breath caught in your throat like a prayer.
jisung inserts another coin. the flash went off. the booth capturing the way your eyes fluttered shut for just a second, overwhelmed. his hands gripped your thighs, firm and grounding, and you rock your hips forward, chasing the drag of him inside you — slow, then deeper, until he filled you completely. another flash. this one caught your mouth open in a gasp, your hands braced on his knees. the way he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered, like he loved the way the camera was catching it all. it made you even wetter, “you’re crazy,” you whispered, dizzy with the way his cock throbbed inside you. the way you could barely stay quiet.
“and you’re beautiful,” he murmured. then without warning, he tugged your shirt up, knuckles grazing your ribs. higher and higher. until your chest was bare — completely exposed to the low flickering light and the cold lens of the booth’s camera.“jisung–,” you try to pull your shirt back down but he doesn’t let that happen.
“smile for me,” he said, voice dark and teasing. he cupped your breast with one hand, the other feeding the photobooth another coin without even glancing, “let them see how good i make you feel.” you were flushed, panting, completely full of him and when the next flash hit, he kept his eyes locked on the camera, shameless and smug, while you rolled your hips on him in slow, desperate circles. the strip would show everything without showing anything. your body bouncing in his lap, your mouth slack with pleasure, the curve of your bare chest, his grip on you possessive and adoring. a blurred rush of lust and power, of being wanted so fully you could feel it in your bones. and him – grinning through it all. smirking like the devil with his hands all over you like he knew exactly what he was doing. you rode him harder now, chasing that edge, your hands planted on his hips, his cock thick inside you and hitting every spot that made your vision blur.
another coin. another set. the next flash caught his mouth on your shoulder, your head thrown back, your lips parted in a silent moan, “fuck, look at you,” he groaned, watching your reflection in the smudged glass across from the lens, “so fucking pretty when you ride me.” you whimpered when he thrust up into you, just once, sharp and deep, and you clenched around him, the pressure building dangerously, “jisung i’m gonna–”
“i know,” he breathed, sweat slicking his brow, teeth grazing your neck, “i know, cherry. keep going. just like that. don’t stop.” you were both panting now. the booth was too hot, too small, both of you desperately trying to control your moans and the sounds of your bodies colliding. then his grip on your waist tightened. his voice dropped low, guttural, shaky, “gonna cum, cherry. fuck—inside. can i?” you could barely speak, just nodded, already there, already unraveling around him. the moment you clenched, he buried himself as deep as he could go and spilled into you with a rough, muffled groan against your shoulder. his fingers dug into your hips, holding you in place, making sure not a drop escaped. you collapsed against him, spent and shaking, your back pressed to his chest with the final flash — immortalizing the mess of tangled limbs, gasping mouths, ruined control. he stayed buried in you for a beat, still pulsing, hands lazily roaming your back as you both caught your breath.
you stepped out of the booth first, legs shaking just enough to make it obvious if anyone were watching. though luckily, the back corner of the arcade was mostly dead. jisung followed right after, breath still uneven, hair a mess, and shirt half-untucked. he reached into the machine slot just as it spat out the last strip of picture. there were five strips total, each holding four pictures. all in order. all in motion. the first was innocent enough, you smiling, still clothed. the second, your shirt halfway up, his mouth on your shoulder. the third – “oh my god,” you gasped, snatching the strip from his hand, “jisung!,” he peered over your shoulder, already grinning like a kid that just received the best christmas gift ever, “both of my boobs are out in this one!,” you whisper-yelled, eyes wide as you pointed to the fourth frame, where you were mid-ride, spine arched, chest bared, his hands full of you and that smug ass look still stamped across his face. he had no shame. none. “yeah, i’m keeping that one,” he said, plucking the strip from your hands before you could even think of tearing it in half. “no. give it–,” you reach out. “nope,” he folded it carefully, precisely, like it was some sacred artifact and tucked it into his wallet with a wink, “best christmas gift ever.” you gawked at him, rolling your eyes, “someone’s gonna see that,” you muttered, heart pounding as you glanced around, suddenly paranoid someone might come around the corner and spot the both of you disheveled and glowing. he leaned in, voice low against your ear, “no one else is gonna see it, cherry. that one’s just for me.”
you roll your eyes, taking a second to fix yourself up. while jisung didn’t even try. he looked smug and satisfied. you made your way back to your friends. karina spotted you first, “there you guys are…wait,” she narrowed her eyes, “where the hell did you two disappear to?”
“bathroom,” you said quickly.
“photo booth,” jisung answered at the same time.
shit. your group immediately went silent.
sophia squinted, a teasing smile on her lip, “so…was it a bathroom or a photo booth hookup?”
“neither,” you lied. horribly. “we just–he found a funny strip and we were laughing about it.”
“mhm,” sion arched a brow as he sipped from his soda, “that’s why you have a fresh new hickey on your neck.” your stomach dropped, your hand immediately going up to use your hair as a cover.
dongpyo’s jaw fell open, “oh my god, you little freaks—”
“shut up!” you hissed, sliding back into your seat. jisung sat beside you, calm as ever, tossing a fry in his mouth like he hadn’t just ruined you five minutes ago in a cramped booth, “you guys are real observant for people who are down by like, forty points,” he teases.
“don’t deflect,” sophia said, pointing a perfectly manicured nail between the two of you, “there’s tension. there’s… suspicious glows. there's possibly sex hair. did you guys—?”
“no,” you said.
“yes,” jisung said at the same time. you kicked him under the table. he choked on his fry, and you refused to look up as the entire group burst into chaos.
“oh my god!” karina shrieked, practically launching herself across the table, “in the photo booth?!”
“you’re disgusting,” sion said, which was rich coming from him. “are there pictures?” sophia asked, eyes wide with gleeful horror.
“no one’s ever seeing those,” you snapped, heat crawling up your neck again. you buried your face in your hands, groaning as the table erupted in overlapping questions, taunts, and fake retching noises. and even though you wanted the floor to swallow you whole, you couldn’t stop the tiny smile pulling at your lips. because under the table, jisung’s pinky was hooked with yours. and neither of you let go.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
it was nearly midnight when the group finally parted ways — the air still thick with leftover teasing and suspicious side-eyes. the bowling alley buzz had worn off, but jisung hadn’t let go of your hand the entire walk to the parking lot.
"everyone else is home for the break," he said casually, glancing at you as you reached his car, “dream house is empty.” you raised a brow, smirking, already know what he’s asking, “and?”
“and i don’t feel like being alone tonight,” his eyes flicked down to your lips, “come home with me.”you didn’t even hesitate. you just nodded and got in. the drive was peaceful, you and jisung talk about everything and anything. when you finally get to the dream house, it's unusually quie. the muffled hush is a stark contrast to the laughter and lights the place usually held, leaving the place feeling like your own little private world. you both kick off your shoes by the door. your legs a little sore from the photobooth. you flop onto the couch, burying your face in the cushions, “what are we watching?”
“home alone?,” jisung asks, pulling it up on netflix, “it’s a christmas classic.”
“sounds good,” you mumble into the couch and before you know it, he’s sat beside you. you’ve somehow ended up half on his lap, legs stretched out, your bottom half on his thighs, skirt riding high from the way you’re laying, ass slightly raised. you mean to adjust, you really do, but he doesn’t seem to mind and the position was too comfortable to move. your eyes stay fixed on the screen as the movie starts, jisung tracing soft patterns on your calves. it’s only when his hand lands on the curve of your ass, warm and slow, like it belongs there, that you freeze,“what are you doing?,” you ask, voice low, face still pressed into the pillows.
“nothing,” he says, a little too innocently. you don’t turn to look at him, but you can hear the smirk on his voice. you should stop him. but you don’t. you just let him touch you, let his fingers knead the softness through your skirt like it’s the most natural thing in the world. the movie plays on. you try to focus but you can feel jisung watching you. he leans back, one hand still massaging the curve of your ass, rougher this time. you feel him hardening beneath you, feel the subtle shift of his thigh under your center as your underwear clings wetly between your legs, “this skirt should be illegal,” he mutters to himself, his touch making your spine shiver. and with no warning he lands a slap, loud and red and shocking, on one of your cheeks. you jolt with a gasp, a sharp, high moan escapes before you can stop it, surprised and unfiltered. you whip your head around to look at him, your mouth slightly open, eyes wide. his eyes gleamed with mischief, “you like that?” you open your mouth to deny it. then freezes when his hand smooths over the same spot. soothing the sting. the heat and tension pooling low in your belly.
“maybe,” you whisper. he lands another one, this time on the other cheek. the moan that slips out of you is louder. your hips twitch slightly, fingers clutching the cushion tighter. he leans over you, voice dark and playful now, “didn’t know you were into that.” his fingers hook into the waistband of your skirt, tugging it down slowly, like he’s giving you time to stop him. but you don’t. you stay perfectly still, breath shaky, as he slides the fabric down your thighs, leaving you in your white cotton underwear – delicate, damp and undeniably revealing. you hear him exhale slowly. then his palm lands again and your hips roll into him, soft moans muffled into the couch. his hand caresses the heated skin between every strike, gentle in the places where he was just rough. and all the while, the movie still plays – a cheerful soundtrack to something far less innocent.
he lets out a soft groan, “you’re so wet,” he murmurs, in awe.
“i-i didn’t know i would like that,” you admit, your voice barely audible, “but i think i do,” you admit quietly but he hears every word. he chuckles, low and deep, the sound skimming down your spine.
“then let’s keep finding out what else you like,” he whispers, his palm connects again, firm and practiced now, alternating between spanking and soothing, his fingers sometimes dipping lower, testing, teasing. your whole body starts moving with it, moaning into every strike, grinding down helplessly into the ridge of his jeans. the pain shooting pleasure up your spine. “say it,” he whispers, leaning close, “say you like it.”
you pant, dizzy with heat and friction “i like it,” you choke out, “i— fuck, jisung — i love it.”
he kisses your lower back, slow and possessive, “good girl.” you feel wrecked already — and he’s barely touched you. still bent over his lap, your panties cling soaked between your legs, his hand lingering on your ass, fingers flexing like he can’t decide if he wants to soothe you or spank you again. your breathing is erratic, soft moans slipping out of you. “look at you,” he says again, voice deeper, rougher, “didn’t even have to take your panties off to get you dripping all over me.”
“shut up,” you whisper, flushed and humiliated, but you don’t mean it and he knows. instead of shutting up, he hooks his fingers around the waistband of your underwear, “let me see you,” he murmurs, “yeah?” you nod, wordless, shivering under the weight of his voice. he pulls them down slowly, a deliberate, dragging tease, and you whimper at the sudden exposure, the cool air hitting wet skin. he drops them to the floor, then spreads your thighs wider on his lap, like he wants to take his time with the view, “fuck,” he exhales, “all this from me just spanking you?”
“i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you say breathlessly, dazed.
“there’s nothing wrong with you,” jisung murmurs, one hand slipping down to trace through your folds, slick and slow, “you like a little pain with your pleasure and that’s so hot,” then his thumb circles your clit, featherlight, maddening. you gasp, hips jolting. and before you could process what’s happening jisung slaps your cunt. the pleasure spikes sharp in your belly, a moan punching out of you so loud it echoes off the living room walls. you collapse forward against the arm of the couch, gripping the cushions, “oh my god—”
“you want more?” he growls, his fingers slipping lower, dipping just barely inside you, “you want to fall apart on my lap?”
“please,” you choke out, grinding back against his hand, “please, jisung—,” he doesn’t make you beg again. two fingers slide inside you, curling instantly, dragging a broken cry from your lips. his palm cradles your hip while his other fingers find a rhythm — curling, spanking, soothing teasing, until you’re trembling above him, breathless and soaked and spiraling fast.
“listen to you,” he mutters against your back, “listen to how wet you are,” he says, the sound of your juices squelching around his fingers. he grinds his thigh up into your clit as his fingers thrust faster, “you’re so fucking close,” he says like he’s memorized your body, “let go, cherry.” — that’s all it takes. your climax crashes over you. loud, wet, shaking. your whole body locks up, cries muffled into the cushions as your hips stutter and grind into him helplessly. you hear him moan low and wrecked behind you, feel the way he holds you through it, possessive and steady, and the aftershocks leave you limp and boneless in his lap, utterly spent. for a long moment, the only sound in the room is the movie, something ridiculous in the background while you both breathe like you’ve just run a marathon, the aftermath of your orgasm still pulsing through your limbs.
you slowly push yourself up from the couch, breath uneven, heart racing. jisung’s hands are still on your body, loose now. you shift, deliberately, turning to face him. you straddle his lap, eyes dark, flushed and determined. he looks at you with a teasing grin, shirt rumpled, cock painfully hard under his jeans. you lean in close, nose brushing his, voice soft but firm, “is there anything you haven’t done,” you ask, “that you’ve always wanted to try?”
his eyes narrow slightly, like he’s caught off guard. then he smirks. “well… i’ve always wanted to try fucking someone’s tits.” the way he says it, low and rough, with a glint of challenge in his gaze, makes your thighs clench. you don’t answer him with words. you slide off his lap, dropping to your knees in front of him with slow, deliberate confidence. your eyes stay on his, unbreaking, even as your hands reach for his jeans. “cherry,” he breathes, his voice as tight, “wait— are you sure?”
“let me take care of you,” you say simply, your voice almost gentle but it holds no room for argument. you remove your shirt, unhooking your bra in one, swift motion. he groans as you free him from his jeans, cock heavy and flushed and pink, leaking at the tip. you lick your lips slowly, then push your tits together, sliding them around him without waiting for permission. he hisses the moment his length sinks into the soft warmth of your chest.
“fuck—” he chokes, head falling back against the couch. you move slowly at first, guiding your tits up and down his shaft, letting the tip pop out near your collarbone before sliding him back down between the swell, “is this what you pictured?” you ask, licking across the head when it peeks out again, “me, on my knees, tits wrapped around you?”
he moans loud and raw, hands flexing uselessly at his sides, “yes. fuck–this is better–,” you pick up the pace, pressing your breasts tighter around his cock, bouncing faster now — letting him watch as you spit into the valley between, adding more slickness, more heat. every time his head slips out, you lean in and lick it, teasing, dragging your tongue slowly and deliberately across the tip, watching him fall apart. he’s panting, hips jerking, eyes locked on your chest like he’s in a trance, “i’m not gonna last—fuck—.” he grunts, you keep going, pace unrelenting, tilting your head just right so your tongue can keep teasing the slit each time. his hand shoots out before he can think, fingers tangling in your hair. he bunches it up in a tight fist, yanking your head back slightly so you’re looking up at him, mouth wet, chest glistening with his juices, eyes dark and teasing.
“fuck,” he growls through clenched teeth, “you’re so fucking hot like this.” you hum around the head of him, letting your tongue swirl filthily as he starts thrusting up your tits now, using your body, your mouth, like he’s completely lost to the feeling. you don’t let up either. if anything, you squeeze your breasts tighter, spit dripping down your cleavage.“you wanna come, jisung?” you murmur, voice sultry and sweet and wicked all at once, “wanna come all over my chest like a good boy?”
his breath punches out of him, the words making him feel dizzy, “jesus—yes. yes, please, cherry—”
“do it,” you whisper, the words vibrating against his cock, your lips ghosting over the head. “come all over me. i want it.” — with a hoarse, desperate cry, jisung jerks forward. his cock pulses between your tits, spilling hot and thick across your chest, your throat, your lips. he doesn’t stop until he’s emptied every last drop, his body trembling, your name falling off his lips like it’s the only word he knows. he collapses back against the couch, panting and wrecked, eyes glazed and stunned. his hand loosens in your hair but doesn’t let go. he stares at you, completely undone, chest heaving, eyes wide. his moans are still echoing in the room, the mess he left on your chest still warm, when you look up at him — eyes dark, lips wet, chest rising and falling as you catch your breath. but you’re not done. not even close. still kneeling between his legs, you tilt your heat, “that was so hot,” you murmur, fingers wrapping around the base of his cock, still twitching, still sensitive, “but i think you can give me a little more.”
jisung flinches, overstimulated, breath catching, “c-cherry—wait, i just—fuck—,” but you’re already leaning forward again. you lick up the underside of his shaft, slow and languid, catching every trace of cum from earlier. you flatten your tongue along the head, swirling it deliberately, watching his face as his whole body jolts from the contact. his thighs twitch. you take him into your mouth, lips wrapping around the head, sucking gently. he lets out the loudest moan yet, head falling back, hand fisting in your hair tight, like he’ll fall without you, “oh my—fuck, cherry, stop, i’m too—i’m still sensitive—shit,” his hand flies to your hair again, gripping. needing something to stay grounded.
you hum around him, “too much?”
“yes—no—fuck, i don’t know—,” you smirk around his cock and take him deeper. he moans, hips jerking, his head falling back against the couch with a soft thud, “jesus christ—fuck, you’re insane,” he groans, “you’re gonna suck the soul out of me—”and you do. you keep your rhythm slow and dirty, tongue dragging along every sensitive inch, bobbing your head with perfect pressure, letting your spit make everything messier. his thighs are shaking now. hands gripping your hair like it’s the only thing keeping him tethered.
“cherry, cherry, fuck, i’m coming again—” he gasps, voice breaking, “i can’t—” you don’t stop. you tighten your mouth around him and moan, letting the vibrations pulse through his cock. and that’s it. he comes again, harder this time, full-body trembling, a choked, strangled cry punching out of him as his cock twitches on your tongue. his hand fists in your hair, knuckles white, trying not to fall apart completely while you milk every last drop from him, sucking slow and deep, prolonging it until he’s shaking. by the time you finally pull off, his cock slips free from your lips with a wet pop, and he slumps backward, completely undone. chest heaving. eyes glazed. sweat beading at his hairline. you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and grin up at him, “still alive?”
he laughs, breathless and disbelieving, then leans forward, cupping your face with shaking hands, “i have no idea what the fuck you just did to me,” he whispers, voice wrecked. “but i need to fuck you. now.” his voice drops into your ear, “let’s finish this upstairs.” you nod, biting back a grin as he grabs your wrist and hauls you up, his grip tight, possessive, leading you up the stairs. you can barely keep up, your thighs still trembling, your chest sticky.
the second he kicks his bedroom door open, you’re pushed inside. he closes the door behind him, turns to face you — and it’s on. you crawl up his mattress on all fours, arching your back slowly, presenting yourself like a gift—bare, glistening, ready. he doesn’t speak. he just stares for a moment, already stripping behind you — shirt gone, pants kicked off, his cock standing already hard and heavy again. you can hear the change in his breathing, the way it stutters when he sees the curve of your ass, plump and ready for him. he kneels behind you, palms gripping your ass, spreading you open, “look at this pussy,” he says, like he’s talking to himself, “still dripping,” he mutters, breath shaking, “all this from sucking me off?”
“all this,” you whisper, hips grinding back against him, “from you.”
then — smack. his palm lands hard on your ass, and you jerk forward with a cry, fingers fisting the sheets. you barely recover before another slap lands, on the other cheek this time, sharp and loud, the sting blooming hot and electric, “you like that?” he growls, rubbing the fresh pink skin, “you want me to spank you while i fuck you?”
“y-yes,” you gasp, back arching deeper, “yes, please—” with no warning, he thrusts in, all at once, deep and fast and filthy, splitting you open around his cock. you scream into the sheets, mouth open and eyes wide, as he fills you completely, “fuck—jisung—fuck—,” he gives you no time to adjust. he sets a brutal rhythm from the start, hips snapping against your ass with loud, wet slaps, each thrust punching moans out of you. his hands grip your waist so tight you know there’ll be bruises later. you’re his tonight — and he’s making sure your body remembers it. another slap. harder now. making you clench around him, “you’re such a fucking mess,” he growls, “so wet—so tight—” your body starts to quake. the sound of his skin hitting yours, his breath in your ear, the sting of his hand. it’s too much, it’s perfect. “you love this, don’t you?” he pants, leaning forward, fingers finding your clit now, rubbing you in fast, punishing circles, “love getting your ass slapped while i wreck this tight little cunt?”
you nod, moaning louder, “yes—yes—please, don’t stop—”
“beg for it,” he snarls, still pounding into you, “beg me to fuck you harder.”
“please,” you sob, toes curling, “please, harder—faster—fuck, i’m so close—” he slaps your ass again, the sting making you shudder as his cock drives even deeper. “come on my cock, cherry. show me who you belong to.” you scream into his sheets, shattering, the orgasm tearing through you in sharp, uncontrollable waves. your entire body clamps down around him, back arching, moaning his name as your pussy spasms around his cock. you feel your slick dripping down your thighs. jisung loses it, “cherry—shit—gonna fucking come—” he growls, snapping his hips into you with brutal, desperate precision. his grip bruises your waist, dragging you back onto his cock as he pounds into you one last time, burying himself deep. he spills with a groan that sounds like it’s being ripped out of his chest—hot, thick ropes flooding your cunt, pulse after pulse, until you’re both shaking.
he stays there, cock twitching inside you, breathing hard against your back. you’re limp beneath him, utterly wrecked, moaning softly as the warmth spreads deep inside you, “jesus,” he breathes against your neck, voice ruined. when he finally pulls out, you both gasp at the wet, filthy sound. his cum leaks out immediately, spilling over and pooling beneath you. sticky, messy, obscene. jisung watches, and his eyes go dark, feral, “fuck,” he groans. “you’re dripping. look at that. my cum leaking out of you,” he spreads you open with two fingers, watching his release ooze out of you with a hungry, fucked-out expression. “shit, i didn’t even know i could come that hard,” he mutters, “your tight little pussy milked every drop out of me.”
you let out a weak laugh, your voice breathless and cracked. his gaze snaps to yours, smug and wild. you whimper when his thumb brushes over your slick folds again, teasing. “you’re still so wet,” he groans, almost to himself. “you like being full of me, huh?”
you nod, cheeks flushed, eyes glassy. “i love it,” you whisper. “i love how you fill me up. i can still feel you inside.”
jisung groans deep in his throat, like he might lose it all over again. “fuck, don’t say that. i’ll flip you over and fuck you stupid.”
you smirk, weakly. “what’s stopping you?”
he lets out a dark laugh, eyes still fixed between your legs. “your legs are shaking. you can barely breathe. you’ll pass out before i’m halfway through with you.” you scoff, voice hoarse. but he was right. your body was exhausted.
jisung shifts carefully, lying down beside you and tugging you gently into his chest. one of his arms slides under your head, the other wrapping tightly around your waist, like he needs to feel you breathe, and then, quietly, soft, worried, he asks, “are you okay?” you blink. “i didn’t hurt you, right?” he murmurs, “i know it got rough.”
you press your face into his neck, your hand resting on his chest. his heart is still racing beneath your palm, “no,” you whisper, eyes fluttering shut. “you didn’t hurt me.” he pulls back just enough to look at you, brows slightly furrowed, searching your face. “are you sure? i—your thighs are shaking more than usual, and i got carried away, and—”
you cut him off with a soft kiss, slow, lazy, reassuring. “i’m sure, jisung,” you say, voice gentler now, “you were perfect.” the room grows quiet again, warm and full. your bare legs tangle under the sheets now, his fingers lightly tracing shapes along your spine. then, with a sleepy smirk playing on your lips, you break the warm silence, “you have another morning-after pill, right?”
jisung chuckled, the sound low and warm, vibrating under your cheek, “of course i do,” he whispered, brushing your hair off your face. you grinned, tilting your chin up to look at him, “i should really think about getting on birth control.”
he glanced down at you, one brow raised, a slow smile tugging at his mouth, “i mean… you don’t have to.”
you blinked, “no?”
“i could just wear a condom,” he added with a shrug, “unless you’re like… allergic to latex or into the thrill of potential fatherhood.”
you smacked his chest lightly, “wow. so noble. bet the trojan company misses you.”
“they’re surviving without me…barely,” he smirks. you giggled, burying your face into his neck, and he kissed the top of your head like it was second nature now, like affection was a reflex around you. you both fell quiet again after that, just your breaths syncing and your skin cooling against each other. the air between you is warm, quiet, buzzing with the afterglow and something more.
“do you think aliens are real?” you murmur, your voice soft and a little sleepy.
jisung hums, a little more excited than you’d expect, “definitely. the universe is too big for just us.”
“would you let an alien abduct you?”
“depends. is she hot?”
you laugh into his chest, and he grins, his hand sliding up to cup the back of your head gently, “what about you?” he asks, “ghosts?”
you shudder, “ugh, yes. my grandma used to say if you wake up at 3:33 a.m., it means something’s watching you.”
he stiffens slightly, then checks the time, “cherry.”
“what?”
“it’s 3:31.”
you gasp, pushing off his chest, “shut up.” he bursts out laughing, pulling you right back into his arms, “you’re so easy to mess with.” you slap his shoulder, but your smile doesn’t fade. it’s easy like this — wrapped in warmth, inside jokes, and the quiet stillness that only exists in the middle of the night, when everything feels suspended in time. you tilt your head slightly, studying his face in the dark. the curve of his jaw. the lashes that brush his cheeks when he blinks slowly. the tiny smile that still plays at his lips.
then, softer now, realer, “you’re really good at playing the boyfriend role.” he doesn’t answer at first. just breathes. then chuckles lightly, “i know how to be a boyfriend, cherry. i was one before i was a fuckboy.”
your chest tightens, “she really messed you up, didn’t she?”
his eyes stay on the ceiling for a moment, silent. then he swallows, “yeah,” he says, voice low. honest, “more than i wanted to admit. i hate being lied to. hate it more than anything,” he sighed, pulling you closer and you feel your heart break in your chest. but he doesn’t stop there. he sighs, long and shaky, and you can feel the tension ripple through him, the way his fingers are still against your skin, “at first, being the fuckboy was fun — the girls, the freedom. it felt like control.” he shook his head slowly, voice dropping into something almost vulnerable, “but now… i don’t know what i’m doing. i feel lost. the boys were right…i’ve been spiraling.”
you stayed quiet, letting him speak, letting the weight of his words settle between you. he’s holding you like you're safe. like you're good. like you’re not exactly the kind of person who’s about to break him all over again. your head rests on his chest, and you can feel the steady rhythm of his heart under your cheek. he doesn’t know what he just said cracked something open. because he doesn’t know about the bet. he doesn’t know that somewhere deep in the shadows of all the laughter and stolen moments, your friends are counting down the days, watching, waiting for you to win. for you to break him. and maybe at first, it was a game. but now you’re here. wrapped in his sheets. pressed against his chest like you belong there. listening to him breathe like he’s letting you in, like he’s trusting you.
and all you can think is: i’m going to hurt him. you blink hard, your throat tightening, the guilt blooming hot behind your ribs. it’s been creeping in for days now, but tonight, after that look in his eyes, the softness in his voice, it’s unbearable. he thinks he can trust you. and here you are, hiding a knife behind your back with a smile on your lips. your arms tighten around him as if that could somehow undo everything. as if holding him closer could keep the truth at bay. but it can’t. because the truth is… you’re starting to hate yourself. you’re starting to hate the way he looks at you. hate the way he opens himself up more each night through every touch, every sigh, every soft-eyed glance that says he’s slipping and doesn’t know how deep yet. hate that the closer he gets, the worse it’s going to hurt when he realizes what you’ve done. he’s going to look at you the same way he talks about his ex. like betrayal tastes the same, no matter who’s stabbing you.
you close your eyes and burrow closer, trying to memorize the weight of his arms around you, the warmth of his breath on your forehead, the way his heartbeat feels against your cheek. because you know you don’t have much time left. and when this all crashes down, you won’t get this again. you won’t get him again. and it’s no one’s fault but yours. and as his vulnerability wraps around you, a tight knot forms deep inside your chest. and in a last attempt to make yourself feel better, you tell yourself: this isn’t real. he’s doing this to get the boys off his back. he doesn’t have feelings for me.
🍒 DAY 12 OF THE BET - THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER.
you needed a drink. maybe two. maybe three. maybe four. so you ended up here — tucked into the corner of a quiet pojangmacha, orange tarp walls buzzing gently in the wind, the faint smell of grilled chicken and smoke thick in the air. there was an untouched plate of fried chicken in front of you and at least three empty green bottles beside it. you lost count after the second one. the guilt sat heavy in your chest. an ache no amount of soju could blur.
jisung was too nice. too soft. too good at playing the boyfriend role. too good at pretending it didn’t mean anything. and the worst part? you don’t know when you stopped pretending. yet you’re still lying to him. letting him open up to you. all for a stupid, reckless bet. $500. that’s what his heart was worth to your friends. that’s what you agreed to. god. what a joke. the world tilted slightly when you reached for the shot glass again, your fingers slow, clumsy. you missed it, knocked it over. soju spilled across the table and pooled at the edge of your untouched plate of chicken. you blinked at it, like it might explain something. like it might fix something. but all you felt was the sinking weight of it all. you thought maybe you’d cry. maybe scream. instead, you laughed. soft. bitter. a little broken.
the cashier had been watching from the back of the tent for a while now. he finally came over, wiping his hands on a towel, concern painted across every tired feature of her face, “miss?” he asked gently, “you don’t look well.” you opened your mouth to answer, but all that came out was a garbled, thick breath — not quite a word, not quite a sob. you swayed a little in your seat, eyes half-lidded, mouth dry. the man crouched beside your table, gaze softening, “i’m going to look through your phone and call someone okay?” he murmured, not really asking, just doing, because you clearly weren’t in any condition to, “let’s get you home in one piece.”
you look up at him, eyebrows furrowed. he’s pretty but jisung is prettier — “i have a boyfriend,” you manage to say, just wanting the random guy to leave you alone. he nods, a little confused, reaching across the table and picking up your phone. he looked through your emergency contact, only finding one name. then he pressed call and brought the phone to his ear, glancing at your hunched form, cheeks flushed red, knuckles gripping the edge of the table, eyes shut. the phone rang once. then again.
jisung’s eyebrow furrows at the man’s voice, “yes. who’s this? why do you have my girlfriends phone?”
“i’m sorry to call so late. i’m kim jungwoo, i work at a pojangmacha. your girlfriend is very drunk. not speaking clearly. i don’t think she can get home by herself.”
there’s a beat of silence on the other end. then, “where is she?” his voice sharpens. alert now. “is she safe?”
“she’s safe. just not well. you should come get her.” the guy gives him the address and jisung is already out the door before the phone call even ended. he got there in under five minutes. the pojangmacha was just a couple streets away from the dream house, but he still jogged the last block — hoodie half-zipped, hair still tousled from where he’d been lying in bed. jungwoo waved him over before he could even ask, “she’s at the back,” he said softly, “didn’t eat much. drank more than she should’ve.” jisung thanked him quietly, slipping through the rows of low plastic tables until he saw you — slumped over the last one, your cheek pressed against your own arm, lips puffed out into the most exaggerated pout he’d ever seen. you looked small. you looked soft. you looked like something he didn’t know how to take care of yet still wanted to, more than anything.
“cherry,” he called out gently, crouching beside you, “why’d you drink so much, huh?”
instead of words, you gave him a quiet whine. your lower lip jutted out like a child scolded at recess, your cheeks all puffed up, eyes a little misty. you blinked at him slowly. blurred. bright. then you lifted your arms. “my boyfrienddd,” you mumbled, reaching for him like it was the only thing your brain remembered, “you’re hereee.”
jisung stared for a second. then exhaled a shaky laugh. “yeah,” he said, “i’m here.” you clung to him the second he was close enough, arms wrapping around his shoulders, your face buried in the crook of his neck. you smelled like soju and citrus shampoo. warm. familiar. dangerous.
“you’re sooo cute, sungie,” you whispered, “you’re always so cute,” you pinch his cheeks, “like a cute little hamster alien!.”
he cleared his throat, ignoring all the wandering eyes now looking at your direction. he holds you carefully and amused, “you’re drunk.”
“i knoww,” you said proudly. he smiled despite himself, ordering a glass of water for you. then you started talking. something about aliens again. ghosts. time travel. then, in a heartbreakingly small voice, you mumbled, “if i was abducted by aliens, would you still remember me?”
he huffed a laugh, “what kind of question is that?”
“say yesss,” you whine.
he adjusted you in his arms, “yes.”
you sighed happily, “you’re the best boyfriend ever.”
jisung froze for half a second. it wasn’t the first time you’d called him that, boyfriend. you both said it in front of people all the time. part of the deal. but tonight, in this moment, the way your voice lilted so gently, the way you held him like he was the only thing tethering you to the ground – it didn’t sound like a joke. his chest tightened. a slow, unfamiliar ache. a stutter in his pulse he hadn’t felt since her. his high school girlfriend. he shook the thought out of his head and slipped your arms around his neck again.
“c’mon,” he murmured, bending slightly, “let’s get you home.”
you giggled as he hoisted you onto his back, legs locking around his waist, “piggyback ride,” you whispered giddily, nuzzling against his shoulder, “you’re strong.”
“you’re just really light,” he teased, smiling softly. you didn’t answer. just rested your cheek on his back, humming under your breath while he walked the familiar path back to the dream house. jisung didn’t complain once. not when your weight started to sag heavier in his arms. your cheek resting against his shoulder, lips occasionally brushing the curve of it as you rambled on and on, all soft, slurred nonsense that had him smiling like an idiot under the glow of the streetlights — and for a boy who swore he didn’t do real feelings anymore, he was starting to think he might be in trouble.
“do you think,” you mumbled, “like… actually think… that somewhere out there, aliens are in love?”
jisung let out a small laugh, steadying you with one hand beneath your thigh, “aliens in love?”
“yeah,” you slurred sleepily, “like, maybe one of them fell in love with a human. and now they’re sad. because they can’t be together.”
“sounds tragic,” he said, humoring you.
“exactly,” you pout, emotional. you tugged weakly on his hoodie, bringing your mouth closer to his ear, “and do you think ghosts ever get lonely?”
“probably.”
“i’d haunt someone just to talk to them. not in a creepy way. just like… ‘hi, how was your day?’ y’know?”
he laughed again, soft and breathy, “you’d beat casper for the friendliest ghost.”
“you’d still like me right?,” you whispered, “even if i was see through? even if i wasn’t real?” and somehow, the question seems deeper than just you being a ghost.
he adjusted you higher on his back, “i’d never stop liking you, cherry,” he says softly. that shut you up for a second. then, more quietly, “you’re my favorite person, jisung.” he blinked. slowed slightly on the sidewalk. your voice was all cotton and warmth and honey, sticky-sweet and clumsy from alcohol, but it sounded real. too real. and he didn’t know what to do with that. so he just kept walking. then you gasped, like you just discovered a new alien species, “would you still like me if i was a worm?”
he huffed a small laugh, biting back a grin, “am i worm too?”
“no!…yes!…i don’t know,” you mumbled, nuzzling into his neck like a sleepy kitten, “you’re so warm. and soft. like a human pillow. but strong. like a big tree.”
“a tree?”
“a sexy tree,” you clarified. he lost it then, shaking with laughter as you clung tighter to him. “you’re so drunk.”
“mmhmm,” you hummed proudly, “but you came for me.”
he glanced down, smile softening, “of course i did.” the dream house came into view ahead, glowing faintly in the distance. your words were getting quieter now, fading into sleepy murmurs, but your hands stayed curled in the front of his hoodie like you didn’t want to let go. and jisung didn’t want to let go either. something about carrying you like this, warm and soft and pressed against his back, trusting him fully, stirred something in his chest he hadn’t felt in years. it was terrifying. it was dangerous. but it was also sweet. stupidly, stupidly sweet. and he let himself enjoy it just a little longer.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
his room was dim when jisung carried you in, lit only by the soft blue hue of lights. you stirred a little as he closed the door behind him with his foot, but you didn’t protest when he set you down gently on the edge of his bed. he crouched in front of you, carefully tugging your shoes off one by one, then reached for the makeup wipes he stole from jeno’s room. “gonna clean you up, okay?” he murmured. you didn’t answer, just blinked at him slowly, lips parted slightly, all glassy-eyed and pink-cheeked. he held your chin in his hand with a touch so light it could’ve been a whisper, wiping away the smudged mascara with slow, gentle swipes. you were beautiful like this. even drunk, even messy. you were beautiful and soft and his. or at least… pretending to be. he tried not to think about that part. when he was done, he pulled an old hoodie over your head, oversized and warm. then he helped you slip out of your jeans.
“c’mon,” he whispered, easing you down into bed, “let’s sleep.” you followed him, turning toward him, pressing your face to his chest, your fingers curling into the fabric of the hoodie you were wearing. the silence wrapping around you both.
“…i’m sorry,” you murmured. he froze.
you said it again, “sorry,” and again, voice cracking now, “i’m so sorry.”
his arms tightened instinctively around you, confused and worried, “hey, hey, what are you sorry for?”
you looked up at him then — eyes glassy, a couple tears slipping silently down your cheeks, your lips trembling in a way that undoes him, “i’m just… sorry,” you whispered.
he reached up, thumb brushing your tears away, his touch impossibly gentle, “don’t be sorry,” he said softly, tucking your head under his chin, one hand cradling your back. “i’m your boyfriend. it’s my job to take care of you.” his voice dropped lower, “you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. but just know that you can, okay?”
that broke you. you buried your face in his chest and cried — silent, aching sobs that shook your whole body, small fists curled into his hoodie like you didn’t know where else to hold on. he just held you. no questions. no pressure. only warmth and arms wrapped tightly around you, rubbing slow circles into your back until your breathing softened, until your tears slowed, until you finally drifted off, tear stained and clinging to him in the quiet dark. but jisung stayed awake. he laid there, holding you like you were something delicate, something rare, something his, and stared up at the ceiling as something heavy and terrifying took root in his chest. he hated seeing you cry, how broken your voice sounded, how helpless he felt when he couldn’t fix it. and fuck. he realized it then. right there, in the middle of the night, with your breath soft and even against his neck and your hands still curled into him like he was home — he didn’t want this to be convenient anymore. he didn’t want to pretend to be your boyfriend just to get the boys off his back. he wanted you. he wants to be the one you call when you’re hurting, the one who makes you laugh when you can't stop crying. he wants the tears, the rambling, the kisses, the chaos — all of it. he was giving you his heart. no conditions. no pretend. just you. only you. and as you slept, curled against him like you were already his, jisung closed his eyes and made a silent promise to himself. he was going to make sure you never had to cry alone again.
🍒 DAY 13 OF THE BET - LIAR.
the morning light filtered in gently through the blinds, casting pale stripes across the bed and the mess of tangled limbs and rumpled sheets. jisung woke first. and when he saw you there, curled into his side, one hand still fisted in the fabric of his hoodie, lashes fanned out across your cheek, lips slightly parted – something in his chest squeezed hard. he didn’t want to move. didn’t want to break the spell. so he just watched you for a while. let himself memorize the shape of your face in the light. the soft rise and fall of your breathing. the way your body instinctively gravitated cloer, like even unconscious, you knew where safety was. eventually, you stirred. your lashes fluttered. you blinked blearily up at him, “what time is it?”
“almost eleven,” he said softly, brushing a thumb under your eye, “how are you feeling?” you groaned, flopping back onto your side, “like someone stuffed a cactus into my skull…how embarrassing was i last night?”
he smirks, “not that bad…but,” he looks at you, “you did call me sungie.”
you groan into your hands, “goddd, eww, don’t tell me anything more.”
he laughed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your forehead, “it was cute.”
you roll your eyes, “i smell like alcohol and chicken.”
he just laughed again, “come on, let’s shower. it’ll help.” the shower steamed up around you, fog curling on the mirror. hot water poured down your back and you leaned into jisung’s bare chest with a soft hum, eyes fluttering closed. his hands were already on your waist, thumbs stroking along your back as though he couldn’t stop touching you. you let out a breath, tilting your chin up. he smiled at you, slow, soft, pressing a kiss to your forehead, making your stomach twist. “you look like you’re about to fall asleep standing up,” he murmured in your ear.
“might,” you mumbled, “too cozy.” he laughed under his breath, reaching for the shampoo on the side and squirting a bit into his palm, “turn around,” he murmured, voice low and still a little raspy. you obeyed without question, and the next thing you felt were his fingers gently working through your hair. slow, thoughtful motions, like you were something fragile.
“mmm,” you hummed, eyes slipping shut, “you’re good at that.” he grins, “guess i’ll add shampoo technician to my resume.” you smiled as he rinsed you off carefully, tilting your head back under the stream so none of it ran into your eyes. his hands always steady. always careful.
“your turn,” you say, squeezing out a generous amount of shampoo into your palm, but the second you reached up, you realized your mistake. he was much taller. you are already on your tiptoes, arms barely reaching the crown of his head as you attempt to lather him up. he started laughing, bending his knees slightly to help, “you’re so short.”
“stop laughing,” you huffed, stretching, “it’s not my fault you’re a giraffe.” his jaw dropped, “okay, that’s not even a good insult.” you were both giggling now, your hands doing their best to rinse off his soapy hair, faces close enough to feel each other’s breath. then he pressed a kiss on the corner of your lips and the atmosphere shifted. still warm, still playful but heavier now. slower. the laughter faded, replaced by something quieter. your chest rose and fell in time with his. water trailed down your collarbone. his hands slid gently down to your hips. and then — he leaned in. it wasn’t a hungry kiss. it was soft, soaked in steam, lips brushing slowly over yours. your fingers threaded into his wet hair and you pulled him closer, pressing your bodies together. he guided you backwards until your back was pressed against the slick shower wall, one hand braced beside your head and the other wrapped tight around your waist, trying to keep you steady. you were already breathless from the kissing but as he tried to line himself up, you both realized something at the same time. this…wasn’t going to be as graceful as it looked in the movies.
he grunted, “okay–wait. hold on.”
“yeah,” you giggled, trying to find your footing, “this is actually really difficult…why are you so tall.”
“why are you so short,” he argues back, teasing. you burst out laughing, “wait…try it this way,” you said, shifting your leg up and resting it awkwardly on the side of the tub, your hands grabbing onto his shoulders for leverage, “i think this is how people do it.” he adjusted, positioning himself again, mouth brushing yours as he tried not to laugh, “you’re gonna get a leg cramp.”
“just go slow,” you say, he looks at you one more time before lining himself back in, but as soon as he entered you already knew it was the wrong angle, “oW!, okay nope. nope. that is not it.” he pulled away immediately, eyes wide before you both cracked up again, laughter echoing off the walls.
“okay, what about this way?,” you said, breathless, turning around and pressing your palms flat to the wall, glancing over your shoulder with raised brows, “lets try from behind. its gotta be easier.”
jisung blinked, “that looks so hot, like holy shit i could bust right now,” he says, earning another giggle from you. he moved, hands gripping your hips as he tried again, carefully, slowly, a moan tumbling out of your lips as he entered, stretching you just right – but between the water still running down your legs, the slippery floor, and the height difference… “fuck this,” he muttered. he stepped back with a groan, palms rubbing over his face as he blinked water out of his eyes, “this isn’t working, i’m gonna slip, you’re gonna crack your head open and that’s not exactly the fantasy i had in mind.”
you laughed again, turning around to face him with a pout, “so much for shower sex being hot and spontaneous.”
“it is hot,” he muttered, voice lower now, watching the way water slid on your skin, “you’re hot,” then his hand snaked around your waist, tugging you towards him, “but we're taking this to the counter before someone dies.” you squeaked as he lifted you, bridal-style, with ease. your wet bodies pressed together, slick skin on skin, carrying you to the bathroom counter and setting you down gently, lips finding yours again in another kiss. this one deeper. needier. no more giggling. just the low hum of his moan against your mouth and the way his tongue slid slow and sweet against yours. you opened your legs without a word, and he stepped in close, hand wrapping behind your knee and dragging it up over his hip. his other hand ran down your spine, settling at the base of your back, pulling you forward until your ass was right on the edge of the counter, forehead pressed to yours, both of you breathing like you’d run a mile, “okay?” he whispered, his voice barely audible over your own pulse. you nodded, breath catching, “yeah.” he kissed you again, slow and deliberate. his hands slid lower, tilting your hips forward, adjusting you to fit against him perfectly. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, fingers tightening just slightly as you felt him press closer — the warm, heavy weight of him nestled against you now, not moving yet, just resting there like he was savoring the closeness. then, with a deep inhale and eyes locked on yours, he shifted, lining himself up. you could feel the tension build between you, your grip tightening around his shoulders as your thighs instinctively squeezed around his waist. his breath hitched, then he pressed forward. slow. careful. you exhaled sharply, eyes fluttering closed as the familiar stretch bloomed through you. intense, slow-burning, your body remembering everything at once. it still caught you off guard, even after everything. this time it wasn’t awkward. no slipping, no bad angles. the cold marble of the counter a sharp contrast to the heat blooming between your thighs. you sucked in a breath, nails digging into his shoulders, eyes fluttering shut as he bottomed out with a soft, broken sound that made your toes curl, your fingers clenching at his damp shoulders. he paused, his thumb stroking over your hip as he whispered, “breathe.”
“i am breathing,” you managed, voice shaky.
he kissed your jaw, “you feel—god, you always feel so good.” your walls clenched at the sound of his voice. his hands gripped your waist tighter, and when he moved again, deeper, more deliberate, your mouth fell open in a gasp, body instinctively leaning forward into his. he settled into a rhythm, hips snapping forward with practiced precision. each thrust dragged a moan out of your throat. every movement sent sparks through you. too much and not enough. he moved like he knew exactly where you needed him, how to angle you just right, what to say to keep you hovering right there in that delicate place between pleasure and something more terrifyingly tender.
“jisung—,” you gasped when his palm found your breast, warm and broad and teasingly light at first. he thumbed over your nipple slowly, already peaked for him, with just the right amount of pressure to make your back arch into him. your voice caught, eyes fluttering as he leaned down to suck one into his mouth, sending a full-body shiver racing through you. he rolled them between his fingers while fucking into you, making your whole body tighten from the overload. pleasure spiked hard and fast, your moans growing louder as the stimulation grew.
“look at me,” he panted, voice strained, “i wanna see your face.” your eyes blinked open, lashes damp, and met his. you could see everything there — the heat, the tension, the desperation like he wanted this to mean something even if neither of you said it aloud. your bodies slapped together, wet skin meeting wet skin, and the sounds echoing in the bathroom were filthy. his thumb dragged down to circle your clit, drawing tight little spirals, making your thighs tremble around his hips, “jisung—fuck—don’t stop.”
“i’m not,” he grunts, lips brushing your jaw, “not until you come all over me.” his hips sped up, thrusts growing rougher as he leaned in and bit gently at the curve of your neck. and with one more perfectly angled thrust and a sharp tug on your nipple, you broke — coming hard, thighs trembling around him as your head tipped back, mouth open on a silent moan. he didn’t stop fucking you through it, watching your face as you fell apart for him.
“fuck, cherry,” he grunted, pulling out quickly with a stutter in his hips. he wrapped his fist around himself, panting, jerking himself with quick, messy strokes until he groaned your name. you watched with hooded eyes as he spilled across your stomach in hot, thick ropes, his head dropping to your shoulder, whole body shaking from the force of it. his hand came up instinctively to rub slow, grounding circles over your thigh. you stayed like that for a moment, both of you catching your breath in the heavy silence that followed. your stomach sticky, your legs spread, your whole body buzzing. the air thick with steam and heat and something quieter beneath it all.
then, without a word, he reached for a towel, expression softening into something almost boyish. you sat there quietly on the counter, flushed and still glowing, watching him as he moved. careful. focused. no teasing now. just jisung, gentle and quiet. he dried you off first, murmuring soft apologies every time the fabric grazed too rough against your skin, even though it never did. his touch was tender, like you were made of glass. he knelt to gently wipe down your legs, then dabbed at the marks he’d left on your chest, his thumb brushing over them like he could smooth them away. when he finally finished with himself, he wrapped the towel low around his waist, grabbed a second one to twist through your damp hair, then leaned down and whispered, “c’mon, let’s go before you start shivering.” back in his room, he dressed you in another one of his oversized hoodie and a clean pair of boxers that you had to roll twice at the waist to keep from slipping, “you look cute.” you rolled your eyes, making your way back to his bed and fighting off the butterflies in your stomach, “you say that to all your near-death shower partners?”
he laughed, quickly got dressed then grabbed his phone and flopped down onto the bed beside you, “nope. just you,” he says smirking, then “what do you want for lunch?” he murmured.
you turned your face into his shoulder, “surprise me.” he chuckled, soft and low and ended up ordering you both sandwiches, hash browns, and iced coffee from the little corner shop he liked. when it arrived, he let you steal fries off his plate and take long sips from his drink like it was the most natural thing in the world. neither of you said much. but the silence wasn’t heavy. it was full — warm with the kind of comfort that doesn’t demand words. you didn’t go back to your dorm that day. you could’ve. you should’ve. your laundry was overdue. but the second jisung reached for your hand again, just casually, like he’d done it a thousand times, you knew you weren’t going anywhere. you smelled like him. the hoodie you wore was stretched and worn and perfect, and it fell over your bare thighs in a way that felt too domestic for someone who wasn’t technically your boyfriend. but you didn’t want technicality today. you just wanted him.
jisung played home alone 2 from the t.v. in his room. you were half tangled in his sheets already, sitting cross-legged with your cheek resting on his shoulder. when the movie started playing, he leaned back, arm stretching around you, and you curled into him without a word. this time, you actually watched the movie. there was something easy in the way you fit against him. he laughed at the dumb parts, mumbled the iconic lines under his breath, pointed at the scenes he liked best. you chimed in just enough, but mostly… you just listened. let his warmth surround you. let your hand rest against his chest and feel his heartbeat. it didn’t feel like a game. not anymore. you didn’t feel like a girl chasing a prize. you felt… like a girlfriend. and worse — like one who didn’t want to stop. at one point, he glanced down and caught you staring. his grin was lazy, eyes warm, “what?”
you shook your head quickly, “nothing.”
“liar,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss your nose, “you keep looking at me like that and i’m gonna think you’re in love with me.”
you shoved his shoulder playfully, hiding the way your breath caught, “you wish.”
“pretty sure you were just watching me, not the movie.”
“only because you were quoting every single line.”
“that’s just boyfriend excellence.” you rolled your eyes, but you didn’t move away. if anything, you curled in closer. and he didn’t stop touching you. he kept his hand on your thigh. pressed kisses to your temple. tilted your face up every now and then just to steal a kiss, like it was second nature. like he didn’t even have to think about it. and you let him. because you wanted him. not just his body, not just his jokes, not just the soft way he took care of you. you wanted all of him.
the movie faded to black. jisung got quiet, his head tilting back against the pillows, his arm loosening just slightly around your shoulders. his breathing slowed. even his teasing little comments died out, replaced by the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. you shifted just enough to look up at him. his mouth was parted slightly, lashes resting against his cheekbones. the arm curled around you was slack but warm — so warm, so familiar now. he was beautiful like this. the softness of him. the way he let you lay here. the way he let you stay. the way he let you in. and god. it hit you all at once. not in a fireworks kind of way. not like the sky split open or the music swelled or your life suddenly changed. it hit you softly. like a wave lapping against your ankles. like warmth pooling in your chest. like the feeling of finding something you didn’t know you’d been missing.
you were in love with park jisung. and the thought didn’t scare you like you thought it would. in fact, it felt… inevitable. of course it was him. of course it had always been him. you felt it in every part of you. in the way your shoulders dropped around him. in the way your smile came easier in his presence. in the way your fingers itched to stay tangled in his, even in sleep. you were in love with him. you didn’t know when it happened. maybe in the dance studio, maybe when he showed you off to all his friends, maybe the first time he kissed you just because. but it happened. it was done. you’d fallen. and now, that stupid, awful bet you made with your friends felt like poison in your mouth. you didn’t care about the $500 anymore. you didn’t even know where you’d get it in two days. you just knew you’d figure it out. you’ll tell your friends. end the bet. pay them somehow, even if it meant draining your savings or actually getting a job. he deserved the truth. he deserved more than this version of you, the one still lying by omission while wrapped in his sheets, his clothes, his arms.
he stirred slightly, brow twitching. you froze, not wanting to wake him, but he only sighed and nuzzled closer into your chest with a sleepy hum. like he knew you were there. like even in sleep, he trusted you. your heart squeezed. you love him. and tomorrow… you’d deal with everything else. but today, you just wanted to be his. even if you didn’t deserve to be. you pulled him closer. you let your hand caress his hair. and you tried not to cry.
🍒 DAY 14 OF THE BET - I WON.
the soft hush of winter light poured in through the blinds, casting golden shadows across the unmade bed. you were curled up right in the center of it—bare legs tangled in his sheets, his hoodie swallowing your frame, the warmth of the morning still lingering in your bones, your stomach still full from another late lunch and the shared kisses.
downstairs, the dream house was coming alive again. the boys were back from their short holiday break, voices overlapping as they carried boxes and strung lights, the distant sound of someone arguing over music choices echoing up through the floors. you could hear jisung somewhere in the chaos—laughing. teasing. he sounds happy. it made your chest twist. you glanced at your phone. hesitating for a second before your thumb pressed the facetime call – sion. the line connected fast, and his voice was already loud, “well, well, well. calling me from lover boy’s bed, i assume?”
you rolled your eyes. “shut up.”
“oh my god. you’re smiling,” he said, clearly amused. “don’t tell me. you’re losing.”
you let out a reluctant laugh, raising a playful brow, “actually, i won.”
sion grinned, “did you now?”
you groaned, rolling your eyes softly, “yup, i won the bet, pretty sure jisung’s fallen for me.”
the door creaked open. you didn’t hear it. jisung had come back upstairs, a stupid smile on his face because he was about to ask if you wanted to go with him to pick out last minute decorations and maybe make out in one of the aisles. something stupid and domestic. he only opened the door a crack. but that was enough. he stopped cold when he heard your voice—light, playful, full of laughter. his name in your mouth. and the words.
“jisung’s fallen for me.”
and worse—
“i won the bet.”
the grin on his face vanished. it felt like the air got punched out of his lungs. like someone had shoved ice down his spine. he stood frozen in the doorway, hand still on the knob, every muscle locking up as the words echoed in his skull, again and again. i won the bet. his chest rose and fell sharply. his fingers curled into the wood of the doorframe.
he didn’t hear your voice falter after that. he didn’t hear you add, “and i’m in love with him, sion.” because jisung had already backed away. quietly. like a ghost. the door clicked shut behind him as softly as it had opened. and everything inside him started to burn. jisung hated liars. he always had. he hated people who smiled to your face and twisted the knife when you turned your back. he hated the fakes, the users, the ones who played games with people’s hearts just because they could. it was something he promised he’d never fall for again. and now here he was—falling apart in the hallway, barely breathing. you had lied to him. the only person he thought understood him. the only person he thought was playing on his side. he couldn’t unhear it. couldn’t unsee your smile when you said it. the ease in your voice. the fact that you were still in his bed, wearing his hoodie, still tasting like him, and calling him a fucking bet like it was funny. he clenched his jaw and forced his legs to move, fury buzzing just beneath his skin. he walked downstairs like nothing had happened. like the world hadn’t just shifted under his feet.
“bro, where’s y/n?” chenle asked, halfway through unraveling a tangle of lights.
“she’s asleep,” he says.
“you good?” jaemin asked, voice low, watching him too carefully. jisung grabbed a box of streamers and plastered a smile onto his face. “yeah.” he said calmly. like he hadn’t just heard the girl he let in, really let in, tell someone he was just a pawn in her stupid game. like it hadn’t cracked something deep and unfixable inside him. the rest of the boys moved on. laughter returned. decorations went up. but jisung was somewhere else entirely. because upstairs, the girl he’d fallen for had been giggling when she said his name. laughing when she called him a bet.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
“wait…if you’re in love with him, then technically that means you lost,” sion corrects, grinning.
you shrug, smiling softly, “doesn’t feel like it.”
sion was quiet for a beat after your confession. he was focused now. no more teasing, at least for a moment, “damn, you really love him,” he said finally, earning an eye roll from you, “so when are you gonna tell him?” you let out a shaky breath and tucked your knees up to your chest, phone still pressed to your ear, the fabric of jisung’s hoodie brushing your cheek, “new year’s eve,” you said softly.
“new year’s?” sion repeated, “that’s in, like, two days.”
“i know,” you murmured, “i just… i want one more day. tomorrow, i’m gonna end it officially—with the others. i need to come clean to everyone first, before i tell him.”
sion let out a low whistle, “damn. karina’s never gonna live this down.” you laughed into your sleeve, muffling the sound, “stop. i know. she’s never gonna let me forget it.”
“and the 500 bucks,” he added smugly. you sighed harder this time, flopping onto your back and burying your face into jisung’s pillow, your voice muffled by the cotton, “i don’t even know where i’m gonna get five hundred dollars, oh my god.”
“girl, you better get a job or sell a kidney or something.”
“i hate you.”
he laughed, “alright, alright. i’ll shut up. but for real… i’m happy for you, i knew you weren’t so stone cold in there.” you smiled, a little shy, a little shaky, “gee, thanks you’re just glad you’re gettin $125.”
“maybe that too,” he smirks, “but you got this, okay? end it. then tell him. just be honest.”
you nodded, “yeah, bye, sion.”
“bye, mrs. park,” you hung up on him mid-laugh. you had no idea that just minutes ago, jisung had been standing on the other side of that door. that he’d heard the wrong part of your confession — at some point, the low hum of the house faded into the background. you didn’t even remember putting your phone down. when you stirred awake, the room was dim. the sun had disappeared, traded for dusk and shadows. the hum of the house was quieter now, distant. you blinked and reached for your phone.
1 new message from jisung 🐹
jisung 🐹: went out with the guys. didn’t wanna wake you. sleep well.
you sat there staring at the text for a few seconds too long, heart skipping. still sweet. still gentle. he didn’t say anything was wrong. and yet… something in your chest tugged uncomfortably.
cherry🍒 : you could’ve woken me :(
cherry🍒 : but it’s okay. i should go home anyway. see you on new year’s eve?
the reply came five minutes later.
jisung 🐹: yeah. see you then.
that was it. three little words. no teasing, no pet name. a period at the end. it was small, subtle. almost nothing. but you felt it. you brushed the feeling away, climbing out of his bed, pulling your coat over his hoodie without changing. you didn’t want to take it off. not yet. you padded quietly down the stairs, phone in hand, trying not to overthink the distance in his message. maybe he was tired. maybe he was drunk already. maybe you were spiraling. you slipped on your shoes. the door clicked softly behind you as you stepped outside. the cold air hit your face. you tugged jisung’s hoodie tighter around you, afraid of the what’s to come.
🍒 DAY 15 OF THE BET - A BET’S STILL A BET
they showed up fast. it only took one message in the group chat.
y/n: can you guys come over? i need to tell you something.
now your dorm room was filled with coffee, oversized hoodies, and the collective chaos of your favorite people. karina tossed her coat on your chair like she owned the place. dongpyo flopped onto your bed, sipping his iced coffee. sophia sat cross-legged next to him, munching on a croissant. sion made himself comfortable on your dorm floor. quiet. watching. already knowing. karina broke the silence, “okay, the fact that you’re pacing like this is scaring me. are you pregnant?”
“no,” you blurted, eyes wide.
“are you sure?,” dongpyo asked, “because with what happened at the bowling arena, i wouldn’t be surprised.”
“dongpyo!”
“sorry, continue.”
you took a deep breath, exhaling through your nose, “i admit defeat. i lost the bet.”
that landed like a pin dropping in a quiet room. karina’s jaw dropped. “you what?”
sophia blinked, “wait, lost the bet as in… you caught feelings?”
“real feelings!?” dongpyo gasped, “cold, dead-hearted, emotionally repressed you?”
you rolled your eyes, nodding slowly, “i didn’t mean to. i didn’t even realize it was happening until it… already had.”
karina stared at you, stunned, “holy shit.”
“but—” sophia’s voice cut in gently, “—do you think he likes you back?” that question hung in the air like smoke—light, lingering, impossible to ignore. everyone stilled. because suddenly, the energy shifted. the teasing faded. and all that was left was the one terrifying possibility no one had said out loud yet: what if he didn’t?
you swallowed hard. “i don’t know.”
karina looked at you carefully, “has he said anything?”
“he’s sweet,” you whispered, “he’s… been amazing, actually. and the other day, everything felt different. like it was real. but i don’t know if that was just me seeing what i wanted to see.”
you shook your head, “i don’t. but i also don’t know what’s changed for him. or if anything changed.”they knew about your deal with him. the whole dating thing to get the dream boys off his back.
sophia leaned forward, voice softer now, “are you going to tell him?”
“tomorrow,” you said quietly, “i wanted to end the bet with you guys officially first.”
karina blinked, then smiled, slow and real. “wow.”
“wow!!,” dongpyo repeated, more dramatically, “our ice queen melted. i knew this day would come.”
“shut up,” you mumbled, heat crawling up your neck.
“no, but seriously,” karina said, grinning, “i’ve been waiting for someone to melt that frozen little heart of yours since freshman year,” she said, her smile growing wider, “you always pretended you didn’t want love, and now look at you…getting all soft in jisung’s hoodie.”
you looked down at yourself, realizing you were still wearing it. still holding on. they all started laughing. and it hit you, all at once, how deeply they knew you. sion leaned back, smiling, “i can’t believe it’s jisung, though. of all people. the ultimate fuckboy was the one to get to you.”
you let out a half-laugh, “trust me, no one’s more surprised than i am.”
“but hey,” karina said, grinning, “a bet’s still a bet.”
“unfortunately,” you groaned, “i know.”
“any idea where you’re getting $500?” sophia asked innocently.
dongpyo smirked, “you should sell feet pics! or start an onlyfans!” you shoved him off, laughing.
“karina’s already shopping,” sion said, pointing at her open phone screen. karina didn’t even deny it, “no rush, babe. but i am eyeing these new heels.” they were teasing again. the tension eased. laughter returned. but underneath it all, the fear stayed. you forced a smile. tomorrow, you’d tell jisung the truth. you could only pray he’d forgive you.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
your room was quiet. the glow of your bedside lamp was warm, steady, nothing like the way your stomach had been flipping for the past hour. tomorrow was it. the end of everything. you’d finally come clean. you’d finally tell him the truth.but tonight, you were staring at your phone like it might crack open and show you the future.
you typed:
cherry 🍒: you have a theme or dress code for the party?…or should i just wear something short and sexy like last time? 😌
you hit send, heart skipping. you were joking, but also... not. you waited. three minutes passed. then–
jisung 🐹: idk. up to you. you’ll look good either way.
you stared at the text. something about it didn’t sit right. it wasn’t cold, exactly. it wasn’t mean. but it was off. no teasing. just distant. you frowned. your thumbs hovered over the keyboard again. you wanted to say something light, playful, like you always did. but instead, your heart told you to just be honest. a little brave. a little soft.
cherry 🍒 : okay. well...i have something important i want to tell you tomorrow. just don’t run away, okay?
you stared at those last words before hitting send. you almost deleted them. you almost convinced yourself not to make it dramatic. but you didn’t. you left them there. because you knew the truth would be heavy, and you needed him to stay — you didn’t know that downstairs, across campus, in a frat house lit up with half-strung lights and glittery decorations, jisung was staring at your message like it was a death sentence.
“important,” you said. he knew what that meant. in his mind, you were finally going to tell him the truth. that he was a bet. that every kiss, every laugh, every soft sleepy morning had been a game to you. that you were going to end it and walk away with your little inside joke, your victory lap, your friends laughing behind his back. the image made his blood boil. because he had believed you. he had trusted you. he had let you in. and now you were about to break him. so his heart did what broken hearts do best — it started building armor. fast. if you were going to hurt him tomorrow, then he’d beat you to it. hed’ smile. he’d act fine. he’d play it cool. he’d say something cutting, show that he never cared. tomorrow, you’d finally come clean. but he was already bleeding. and in his head, you were still laughing. and if he was a game to you, then fine, you could be a game to him, too. his fingers moved fast on the screen.
jisung 🐹: alright. i won’t run. see you :)
🍒 DAY 16 OF THE BET - BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
you step through the doors of the dream house like you’re stepping into a battlefield. the music pounds through your bones, but all you can hear is your own heartbeat thundering in your ears. your friends are close behind. karina squeezes your hand gently, sophia gives you a hopeful look that nearly breaks you, sion and dongpyo flash encouraging smiles. because tonight is the night you tell him everything — the bet. that you ended it. that you fell. fast. hard. that you’re in love with him. you swallow, the taste of fear thick in your throat as your eyes scan the sea of faces. jaemin’s laughing with angel in the kitchen. mark and kitten are tangled on the couch, soft and warm. haechan’s got princess in his lap, whispering something in her ear. chenle is spinning baby around like the world begins and ends with her. jeno has his hands all over bunny on the dance floor. renjun was trying to avoid all the girls coming his way. but jisung was nowhere to be seen. he’s not in the kitchen. not on the couch. not among the dancers grinding to the bass drop like the world isn’t ending.
so you go upstairs. you don’t knock. you don’t breathe. you push open his door — and the world shatters. he’s in bed. with someone else. she’s straddling him, lips on his neck, her nails trailing down his bare chest like she owns it, like you didn’t just fall asleep there two nights ago. his shirt’s on the floor. the blankets are kicked back. his hands are on her hips. like it means something. like you never meant anything. your heart collapses. you can’t move. can’t speak. can’t even think. you just stand there, blinking, trying to piece together a world that suddenly doesn’t make sense. and then something inside you snaps. the pain ignites. the betrayal burns through your ribs like wildfire.
“jisung, what the fuck?!” you scream, voice ragged.
the girl shrieks and fumbles for the blanket, yanking it over her chest, “who the fuck are you?”
you look straight at her, voice cracking like a storm tearing through the sky, “i’m his fucking girlfriend!”
she freezes. her face crumples in horror, eyes darting between the two of you, “you’re —? but… he said he was single—”
“i am.” jisung’s voice slices through the room, low and lethal. he doesn’t even look at her. his eyes are locked on you. and it hurts more than if he’d slapped you. you flinch. the girl curses under her breath, grabbing her clothes in silence. she throws you one last venomous glare before slamming the door behind her, leaving you alone in a room that suddenly feels like it’s on fire. the silence is deafening. you stare at him. he’s still breathing hard, chest rising and falling, hair messy, lips swollen. his expression isn’t guilty. it isn’t even apologetic. it’s bitter. cold. empty. you shut the door behind you quietly, the click of it loud as a gunshot in the room. you lean against it like it’s the only thing keeping you upright.
your voice is shaking, brittle, “do you wanna explain yourself?”
he scoffs. cold. “do you?”
your breath catches, “what?”
“don’t insult me,” he yanks his pants on, not bothering to hide the fury brewing behind his eyes. “i already know.”
you blink, “what…what are you talking about?”
he laughs, a horrible, broken sound that doesn’t reach his eyes. “i heard your phone call with sion.” you go still. he pulls a shirt over his head like the fabric is the only thing keeping him from exploding.
“was that supposed to be funny? a game? something to laugh about with your friends?” he spits, his voice rising. “a challenge? how many points do you get for breaking me, huh?”
“jisung, that’s not—”
“how much was i worth?” he snarls, “did you already get your prize? want me to smile for the fucking group chat too?”
you shake your head, stumbling a step forward like your legs barely work, “you don’t know anything—”
“you lied to me!” he roars. you flinch. he’s never raised his voice at you before, “i let myself believe in you. i let myself trust you. i thought you were the only one who understood me. and it was all a fucking joke to you, wasn’t it?”
“no—jisung, listen to me—”
“i don’t care,” he cuts you off sharply, “i was just using you too. remember?” he steps closer, each word slicing you in pieces, “—to shut everyone up. to have something pretty to look at. it was all an act. every kiss, every touch — all of it.”
“i called it off,” you whispered yet the words crack the air like lightning.
jisung stills. “…what?”
you take a shaky breath, eyes blurring. “that call you heard. that was me ending it. i told sion it was over. that it didn’t matter anymore because i—”
“don’t,” he cuts in, like the sound physically hurts him, “don’t say it.”
“because i love you.”
his face breaks. and it’s the most painful thing you’ve ever seen. like he’s trying to hold himself together with trembling hands. “…no.” he shakes his head, voice small. childlike. “that’s not what you said.”
“it is,” you whisper, “you just weren’t listening. you only heard what you wanted to hear.” he stares at you. you can see the war happening behind his eyes — the part of him that knows you’re telling the truth, and the part that’s too scared to believe it.
he shakes his head. “you’re just saying that now to win. to clean up the mess you made. why didn’t you tell me then?”
“i was scared,” you cry, “i didn’t know how to tell you that yes!, this did start as a bet,” you admit, voice shaking, “but i fell for you. i didn’t plan it. i didn’t want it. but it happened. and i came here tonight to tell you.”
“you don’t get to act like you’re the victim,” he spat, “you don’t get to cry like you’re the one that’s been betrayed.”
“i’m not the victim.” your voice trembles. “but you didn’t even ask. you didn’t talk to me. you just—assumed the worst. and you…” you swallow hard, “you fucked someone else.”
he closes his eyes. like your words are knives, “you think that wasn’t on purpose?”
your heart cracks all over again, split open in a way you didn't know it could, “you did it… to hurt me?”
“i did it because i hate you.”
and it’s the final blow. not yelled. not spat. just cold. sure. deadly. like he meant it. like he’ll never take it back. and in that moment, something inside you goes quiet. the world doesn’t shatter — not loudly, at least. it folds in on itself. like a balloon slowly deflating. like a slow ache building in your ribs until it numbs everything else. because there’s a unique kind of pain that comes from hearing “i hate you” from the person you love. it’s like being forgotten. like every moment you shared meant nothing. like you never mattered in the first place. like you were never real to them at all. your mascara is running. your voice is a ghost of itself. and something inside you finally gives out. you crumple under the weight of it all. “i’m sorry, jisung.” you say it like it could fix something. like it could hold him together when you can’t even hold yourself up.
“i’m sorry,” you choke again, and now your voice is shaking — shattered glass in your throat. “i didn’t mean to hurt you. i didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” the words are helpless. weak. but they’re all you have left. so you give them to him. one last thing for him to reject. and your tears fall freely now. silent. desperate. but he doesn’t stop you. he doesn’t move. he doesn’t say anything at all. he just watches you break in front of him. and that’s the worst part — not the silence, not the absence of forgiveness but the fact that he doesn’t reach for you. not even once. you take a breath that doesn’t quite make it to your lungs. your throat is closing. your hands are shaking. and you can’t be here anymore. you turn around slowly, like even your body is reluctant to let go. your hand trembles as it closes over the doorknob, one last connection to the room where everything once felt safe. but you don’t wait. you don’t wait for him to stop you. you don’t wait for him to say your name. you don’t wait for a single word. because some part of you already knows it won’t come. so you walk out. and the door clicks softly behind you. but it feels like a slam. like a goodbye neither of you will recover from. and you run.
“ten! nine! eight!”
your steps echo down the staircase like gunshots to your chest.
“seven! six! five!”
everyone’s cheering. champagne glasses in hand. confetti already falling.
“four! three!”
all of the couples pair off, clinging to their partners.
“two! one!”
you walk out the door as the entire house erupts in cheers, kisses and fireworks — renjun sees you. his heart drops. your face is streaked with tears. your lips trembling. and you don’t look back as the door closes behind you. he doesn’t hesitate. he climbs the stairs. he pauses outside jisung’s room. CRASH. the sound of something breaking, glass shattering against the wall. a guttural scream, muffled fists hitting the bedpost. renjun opens it slowly. the room is wrecked. sheets tangled, a lamp knocked over, drawers open, a hole punched through the closet door. and jisung? he’s on the floor. knees pulled up, head in his hands, body trembling from too much pain and too much rage. he looks up when he hears the door. his eyes are bloodshot, wet, face crumpled. and he whispers, voice small— so, so broken — “why do i always play the fool, hyung?”
renjun says nothing. he just walks forward and kneels beside him. and this time, jisung doesn’t hold it back. he lets the tears fall and he cries. ugly. loud. grieving.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the floor is littered with objects. jisung sits with his back against the wall, knees drawn to his chest, knuckles red and raw from punching furniture. renjun stays beside him, steady and still, a quiet presence in the chaos. jisung’s shoulders tremble with every breath, but the sobs have dulled now, like his body is exhausted to keep breaking. then – a knock. and the door creaks open. “jisung?,” jaemin’s voice, light at first, teasing out of habit, “we didn’t see you downstairs, we wanted to say happy new—,” he stops. his eyes sweep over the room, the broken furniture, the mess of paper and clothes. then he lands on jisung, curled up on the floor like something hallowed him out form the inside. the reflection too familiar to the older boy. renjun meets his gaze and gives a small shake of his head. jaemin steps inside slowly, his usual grin nowhere to be found. “bro!,” another figure appears behind him. it’s chenle. laughing until he sees what they’re seeing, “yo what the fuck happened?”mark’s next. one by one, all the dream boys enter his room – a group known for their noise and confidence and shameless chaos. but now? now they’re silent. staring at their youngest member in pieces on the floor.
“is he hurt?,” jeno asks. renjun shakes his head, “not physically.” the others hover for a second like they don’t know what to say next. like they’re seeing the version of jisung all those years ago — stripped of his charm, his confidence, his walls. just a boy. broken open.
“someone wanna tell us what the hell happened?” haechan murmurs. renjun looks down at jisung, who hasn’t moved since his last whispered question. he doesn't answer. no one speaks. and then jisung finally talks, quiet, eyes unfocused, like the memory of the night is still sinking in for him too, “she came here to tell me she loved me.” his voice is hoarse. like it’s painful to say the words aloud. “she told me she called off the bet,” his voice is rasp, splintered and dry. his eyes are somewhere else. like he was trying to remember what just happened in the past hour.
theres a beat of silence, stunned and sick. then jaemin stiffens, “wait. bet?,” he asks slowly, “what bet?” jisungs’s head drops, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes like he can block the memory out, “i was a game. to her and her friends. make me fall and she wins.”
no one breathes. haechan’s tone is sharp, “tell me you’re joking, jisung.” he looks up at his hyung, eyes glassy and lips quivering, “i wish i was.”
mark’s face twists, “you’re telling me that everything between you was fake?”
“she said it wasn’t, not in the end,” jisung says hoarsely, “she said she meant it. that she…that she loves me.”
“that doesn’t make it okay,” jeno snaps, exhaling hard, dragging a hand through his hair, “she played you.”
“she tried to undo it,” jaemin says, quieter.
“guess she was just a good actress,” chenle spits.
“enough,” renjun cuts in, sharper now, “this isn’t helping.” the room goes quiet again – not because the anger is gone but because they can finally see what renjun’s seen since the moment he walked in. jisung is wrecked. no defiance. no excuses. just a boy in a pile of his own ruin.
“she was going to tell me tonight,” jisung whispers, “but i didn’t let her. i was so angry — i just wanted to hurt her back so i—,” he cuts off swallowing the next words, “—i slept with someone else and i made sure she saw it.”
“jesus christ,” chenle mutters. you’re not there, but your ghost clings to every breath in the room. the boys are all picturing it – the way you must’ve looked walking in on him with someone else, the way you ran out during the countdown. jisung lets out a bitter laugh, suddenly remember something else – something older, deeper. a lie that began everything, “i never even told you guys why we started dating.”
they all glance up, “what do you mean?,” mark asks.
“i told you we just clicked,” jisung says, “but that’s not what happened,” he exhales, broken and bitter, “i made her my girlfriend because i wanted you all to get off my back. i wanted you guys to stop thinking i was a fuck-up.”
haechan’s brows pinch, “jisung…”
“it wasn’t real at first. i didn’t even know i liked her. but then she made me laugh. she understood me,” he says, voice cracking again, “and i let myself believe that maybe this time, it could be different…turns out i do just fuck things up.” the room is quiet again. except this time, it’s not out of anger. it’s grief. for the version of jisung they’d been waiting for — the one who started to soften, started to try. none of them sure if he’ll ever let that part of him come back. renjun breaks the silence, with that same intuitive calm that’s held jisung together this whole time, “you said she loved you.” jisung nods once, eyes shut.
“then maybe it was real for her too, too”
“but i didn’t believe her,” jisung says, “i didn’t even give her the chance to explain.” he’s crying now. no one says anything. no one dares to. because they know the hurt between you and jisung wasn’t just betrayal. it was love that turned to ruin. trust shattered by fear. hope undone by pride. and even if you both meant it in the end…jisung may never believe it again. not after this.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
you’re on the floor of your dorm room. still in your dress. curled up in the center of the room like you collapsed there the second you walked in. mascara streaks your cheeks. your chest rises and falls in uneven gasps, your whole body trembling from the cold, from the hurt, from the truth. you barely remember how you got home. your heels are gone. somewhere on the sidewalk. the night is a blur of pounding music and muffled voices that dissolved into static. but none of it matters now. the door slams open. footsteps freeze. “babe?” karina’s voice cracks as she sees you.
“oh my god,” sophia whispers. dongpyo and sion peeking in to see you broken on the floor. they rush toward you. you try to speak, but all that escapes is a sob — broken, raw, pulled straight from somewhere deep inside. it silences the whole room. karina drops to her knees, instantly beside you, gathering you in her arms like she’s trying to shield you from whatever shattered you, “what happened?” she breathes, “what did he do to you?”
you shake your head, “it’s my fault.”
sophia sits on the other side of you, brushing your hair back, gentle and careful. “what do you mean? you were going to tell him. you were going to finally say it.”
you nod, choking on your own words. “i—i did. i tried,” you sob. “i went to his room and—and he was…” you can’t even finish. but they all understand.
“h-he was with someone else,” your voice breaks again, hands pressed to your chest like you’re trying to keep your ribs from collapsing, “and i can’t even blame him. i lied to him. i hurt him. i started this whole thing as a fucking bet.” you cover your face, tears leaking through your fingers. “h-he heard my phone call with sion, he thought i was laughing at him. thought i was bragging.”
“wait,” sion says, slowly. “but that call was you ending it. you told me you fell in love with him.”
“he didn’t hear that part,” you whisper, “i’m so stupid,” you cry, “i let myself fall in love with someone i was supposed to be pretending with and then i went and ruined it. i deserve this. i deserve everything—his hate, the way he looked at me like i was nothing—”
“stop,” karina cuts in sharply. “no, you don’t.” dongpyo snaps, “that is not love.”
“you were exclusive,” sophia says softly. “even if it started out fake. it became real. you didn’t just imagine that.”
“but i broke his trust.”
“and he broke yours,” sion says. calm. brutal. “he slept with someone else while still being your boyfriend. doesn’t matter if it was real-real or convenient-real. you were still together. that is not okay.”
you shake your head violently, “you didn’t see his face. you didn’t hear his voice. i destroyed him. he said he hated me—,” you whimper, karina pullina you tighter, “—it hurts so much.”
sion sits back on the floor beside you, his expression dark, “if I had known what he was going to do—”
“no,” you interrupt, voice hoarse. “—it’s all my fault.”
dongpyo snorts, furious. “he didn’t mean to fuck someone else? okay.” karina glances at him as to say shut up this is not helping.
“i think… i think i would’ve forgiven him,” you admit, “if we had just talked about it.” that silences them. because they believe you. because they know you. and even in your guilt, even in your self-blame, it’s clear — your love for him is real. and it’s killing you. the room is quiet except for your sobs. and four people who love you. helpless to fix it, but willing to sit with you in the wreckage anyway. just like the boys did for him.
🍒 JANUARY 5 - HAPPY NEW YEAR.
a mandatory student council assembly. dress code: casual. attendance: required. the kind of event that’s pointless on a normal day. but today, it feels like a battlefield. the auditorium buzzes with idle chatter as students filter in. the dream boys stick out like always, shining, confident, loud. but even they’re quieter than usual. muted. careful. because at the center of them sits jisung. silent. head down. he’s wearing a black hoodie. his hair’s a mess. his eyes are dull. his legs bounce restlessly under the chair, like he can’t sit still with everything still weighing on him. mark and jeno flank him on either side like bodyguards. the rest — jaemin, renjun, chenle, haechan — are watching the entrance. waiting. and then…you walk in. karina’s got her arm looped through yours. sophia is clutching your water bottle like she’ll throw it at someone if needed. sion and dongpyo trail behind, both tense, both ready. karina locks eyes with mark. her stare is icy, unreadable. sophia doesn’t even blink when she sees haechan glaring. dongpyo is death staring chenle for no reason. and sion zero in on jisung. not threatening — just watching like they’re counting how many pieces of him still exist. but none of it matters. because neither side can undo what happened. neither group can fix the way you’re both breaking.
the second jisung looks up and sees you — he stops breathing. because you’re a shell of the girl he remembers. you still look beautiful. but not in the way you used to shine. you’re wearing makeup like armor. you’re walking upright only because your friends are holding you there. your eyes are sunken. red. tired. he doesn’t even try to look away. he just watches you walk across the auditorium. watches you pretend not to notice him. watches your hands tremble when you sit down. watches how sophia squeezes your shoulder. how karina leans in to whisper something only meant for you.
renjun mutters under his breath. “this is bad.”
“she looks like she hasn’t slept in a week,” mark says.
jeno exhales, shaking his head, “neither has he.”
the tension is palpable. students all around begin to pick up on it — eyes darting between you and jisung. whispers spread like wildfire: “are they not together anymore?” “didn’t they spend new year’s together?” “i heard he cheated.” “i heard it was a bet.” “wait, she cried in the hallway, didn’t she—?”
the room feels suffocating. and in the middle of it all, jisung expected to feel hatred. or anger. maybe even numbness. but all he feels… is pain.
the house lights dim slightly as the dean of student affairs, dr. kun, steps up to the podium with a strained smile and a click of the mic, “good afternoon, students, happy new year to everyone! thank you all for being here today. we’ll be starting with our mandatory annual seminar on substance awareness and drug prevention.” a half-hearted shuffle echoes through the crowd as they slouched deeper into their seats. you sit stiffly in your row, hands clenched in your lap. the dean starts talking. something about resources on campus, peer mentorship programs, the dangers of prescription misuse. but his voice is far away. muffled. like your ears are filled with static. it’s not the topic. it’s not the noise. it’s the silence inside you. too loud. too painful. you’re not even hearing what he’s saying. all you can hear is your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, your own breathing growing shallow. you dig your nails into your palms, eyes fixed on the floor, trying to stay grounded. but your throat aches. your vision blurs. your stomach twists – you can’t do this. not here. not with him in the same room. you try to blink the tears back. try to force air into your lungs. but your body has already decided. it’s already unraveling, already flashing the painful memories of that night. you lean into karina and whisper, “i need to go.” she doesn’t hesitate. just nods, squeezes your hand once, and lets you go. sophia shifts to the side. sion and dongpyo don’t say a word. they don’t stop you. they know you’ve hit your limit. you move as quietly as you can, slipping past knees and backpacks, your shoulders hunched like you’re trying to disappear. the auditorium is dim, but not enough to hide the shine of tears in your eyes. you push open the side exit, and the heavy door swings shut behind you with a soft click. you’re gone. but not unnoticed. because five rows back, jisung saw everything. he wasn’t listening to the dean either. he hasn’t listened to anything since you walked in. he noticed the way you haven’t made eye contact with anyone. he noticed how you barely moved — like even breathing hurt. and he notices how you left. quietly. quickly. broken. and it hurts him to know you’re crying alone because of him. his eyes are fixed on the door even long after it closes. he can’t see your face anymore. but he doesn’t need to. because it’s already burned into him. renjun glances at him, then toward the door. “go,” he says under his breath. but he doesn’t move. he just sits there, jaw clenched, hands balled into fists, every inch of him holding onto his pride. his brain screaming she lied to you over and over again.
🍒 JANUARY 6 - LOVERBOY 101.
the studio is already buzzing with chatter when you walk in. music from someone’s speaker plays faintly. a few students laugh, stretching lazily, still in post-holiday haze. you take your spot quietly near the back wall and sit down to stretch. you don’t say much. your eyes are fixed on the floor. karina watches you like a hawk from her spot nearby, concern written all over her face. and then the door opens. jisung steps in, hoodie half-zipped, jaw tight. his eyes sweep the room — not looking for you, but already knowing where you are. his gaze lands on you for half a second. karina sits straighter. professor taeyong’s voice cuts through the noise, “alright everyone, welcome back! hope you had a restful break. reminder, your final duet performances are next week, i’m giving you class time to rehearse. use the space wisely.”
the moment the words leave his mouth, jisung starts walking toward you. and karina is immediately on her feet. she intercepts him halfway, standing between you and him like a shield. “seriously?” she says, arms crossed. “you really think you get to just walk up to her like nothing happened?”
he stops short. his expression hardens. “it’s for the project.”
“i don’t care if it’s for the olympics,” she snaps. “back off.”
“karina,” you say softly, not looking at either of them. “it’s fine.” she glances down at you. you give her a small nod — too tired to fight. too broken to run. just ready to survive this. karina’s jaw tightens. but she finally steps aside.
“touch her too hard and i’ll break your fingers,” she mutters as she passes jisung. he doesn’t respond. you look up and meet his eyes for the first time since that night. there’s no heat in his gaze. no spark. just…ache.
“let’s just get this over with,” he says flatly. “we don’t want to fail.” you nod once. you both move to the corner. same routine. same steps. but everything feels foreign now. when the music starts, your bodies fall into the motions, the muscle memory still intact. you hit each beat, each turn, each line. but there’s no connection. no softness. every time his hand brushes yours, you feel like you might cry. every time his fingers settle on your waist, your chest aches so hard it’s hard to breathe. and he feels it. god, he feels it. because you used to melt into his touch. you used to smile when your steps aligned. you used to laugh when you fumbled the spin. now you barely even look at him. now it’s just silence and space and a gaping hole where your warmth used to be.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
his room is dim now, the sun long since dipped beneath the horizon, leaving the sky a dull gray. the only light comes from the faint glow of jisung’s laptop, music playing faintly, something low, slow and heartbreak shaped. he’s been like this since he got back from class. been like this for the past week. blank. gutted. another full day of pretending not to care. his jaw’s been clenched for hours. his chest aches like it’s been hollowed out. all day, your silence echoed louder than anything. you didn’t even look at him during the second run-through. and when you finally left the studio without saying goodbye, he felt like something inside him had cracked permanently. a soft knock breaks the silence. he doesn’t answer. the door opens anyway. jaemin steps in, tossing a gatorade onto his stomach before sitting backward on his desk chair, arms folded on the top of it and just…stares at him.
“you gonna stay like this forever?” jisung doesn’t answer. jaemin glances around the room — clothes in piles, water bottles everywhere, the whole place feeling like it’s been slowly closing in on itself.
“you gonna talk to me, or should i just sit here and give you a live ted talk on how you’re actively ruining your life?” jisung finally speaks, voice low. “i’m not ruining anything. it’s already ruined.”
jaemin raises a brow, “because of one mistake?”
“because i’m tired, hyung,” jisung says, sharper now, “every time i let someone in, i get fucking burned.” jaemin’s expression softens, but he doesn’t interrupt. “you think this is about a bet?” jisung goes on, sitting up now, “it’s not just the bet. it’s not just that she lied. it’s that she knew how messed up i was. she knew what happened with my ex. and she still did it. she still made me believe she cared.”
jaemin studies him carefully, “so…what?, you’d rather stay angry? keep holding onto that pride until it eats you alive?”
“i’d rather not fall for a lie again.”
jaemin leans forward, “jisung, let me teach you something.” the younger boy rolls his eyes, “what is this? fuckboy 101, version 2.0?”
jaemin shakes his head, grinning, “more like… loverboy 101.” jisung scoffs but jaemin continues anyway, “i get it. believe me, i get it. remember when i found out angel was lying to me?…it felt like the ground disappeared. i hated her. i hated myself for trusting her. but now,” jaemin smiles faintly, “now she’s the love of my life.”
jisung scoffs bitterly, “yeah you two are fucking perfect. congrats.”
jaemin shakes his head, “we’re not perfect. we choose to love each other anyway.” he continues, quieter now, “you think i didn’t feel what you’re feeling right now? the rage? the betrayal? the ache in your throat that doesn’t go away, no matter how long you sit in silence?…you’re not the only one who’s been lied to, jisung,” jaemin leans forwards, “—sometimes people mess up. but it doesn’t mean the love isn’t real. it doesn’t mean it can’t become something true.” he continues, “—love isn’t just about the perfect moments, it’s not just the kissing or the teasing or the stupid conversations that happen at 3 a.m.”
jisung frowns but listens. “it’s also the part after. when everything’s shattered. when you’re bleeding and bitter and still you reach for each other,” jaemin’s voice is steady now, words slow and deliberate, “because love doesn’t survive without forgiveness. trust me. i almost lost mine due to my pride.”
jisung swallows hard. “i can’t go back there, hyung. i can’t be that guy again. the one who loves too loudly just to be left behind.”
“you’re not that guy,” jaemin says. “you’re someone who’s been hurt, yeah. but you’re also someone she chose to come clean to. someone she was ready to fight for.”
“she walked away too.”
“because you broke her too,” jaemin says, voice calm but firm. “you cheated, jisung. you told her you hated her. you let her leave.” another beat of silence. “you think being cold makes you stronger. but all it’s done is make you lonely.”
jisung lowers his head, “she looked at me today like i was a stranger. i don’t think she’ll ever forgive me,” he finally says, his restraints loosening slowly.
“if you love her, then tell her…at least try,” jaemin says. then he gets up, heads toward the door, then stops and glances back, “i thought angel would never forgive me either,” he says, “now she has half of my wardrobe and eats my food without asking.”
jisung lets out a soft, miserable laugh. jaemin smiles. “don’t let love walk away just because you let your pride win.” then he leaves. and jisung sits in the quiet. still hurting. still scared. but now, maybe, with something shifting. enought to admit to himself that he has become every version of something he hated. enough to admit to himself that he doesn’t hate you. he hates what it means to love you. because that means risking it all again. and he’s not sure he knows how to survive another fall.
🍒 JANUARY 7 - I KNOW IT’S OVER.
the soft glow of the studio lights spills onto the hardwood floors, reflecting off the mirrors that once captured your happiest moments together. the room is quiet, save for the low hum of music looping from your speaker the same track you’ve been dancing to for nights now, its melody looping endlessly, like a lifeline. a lullaby for the broken. a desperate attempt to drown out the echo in your chest where his voice used to live. you spin. a turn you’ve done a hundred times now. your body moves on muscle memory but your mind is somewhere else. until it slams back into place. because there he is. jisung. you freeze. and the air between you shifts. he looks like a memory — hoodie loose around his frame, face pale, eyes shadowed like he hasn’t slept in days. his fingers twitch at his sides, like he’s not sure whether to stay or run. you turn to face him fully, heart caught in your throat. he takes one slow step inside, the door clicking shut behind him. neither of you say anything for a beat. then he swallows, voice hoarse, “what are you doing here?”
you hug your arms tighter around yourself, like that might hold all the pieces in, “i’ve been coming here every night,” you confess, voice soft.
his brow furrows, “why?”
you take a breath, shaky, “because this is the only place that still feels like us.”
his face softens. like something inside him shatters a little — you never walked away.
you can’t meet his eyes anymore, “...why are you here?”
he doesn’t answer right away. when he does, it’s a whisper, barely above the music, “i couldn’t sleep,” he says, “i thought maybe if i came here, i’d…remember how to breathe again.”
the silence stretches again, but now its not empty. now it’s heavy with everything unsaid. then you look up at him again, voice smaller this time, “do you…still hate me?” he freezes. you see it happen — the way the question knocks the wind out of him. he looks at you, eyes wide, aching.
“no.” he says quickly. sharply, “no, i don’t hate you.”
you take a careful step forward, “but you said it like you meant it.”
his voice is low. wrecked. “i was angry,” he says, “and scared. and i didn’t know how else to make the pain stop.” your voice trembes, trying not to fall apart, “what do you feel now?”
he doesn’t speak. for a long moment, it’s just the sound of the music and your hearts breaking in tandem. “terrified,” he whispers, “i’m terrified that if i say it, it’ll break me again,” he murmurs, “that i won’t survive it.”
you step towards him, cautiously, voice trembling, heart pounding, “say what?”
he looks at you, really looks at you, and for a second he’s not angry and grieving. he’s just a boy in love, broken open in the worst way. his next words slice the air clean in half.
“i love you.”
three words. simple. quiet. devastating. honest. you feel them all the way down to your bones.
“i love you,” he repeats louder this time, surer, “and i don’t know how to stop. even when it hurt. even when i hated the way you make me feel so much, i still couldn’t stop.” he’s breathing hard now. eyes glassy. “—you made me feel like i mattered. like i wasn’t just a fuck-up hiding behind jokes and half truths. you looked at me like i was worth something. you made me laugh when i didn’t know how to anymore. you brought the air back into my lungs,” he says, voice cracking, “and when i thought it was all a game, when i thought i was just a bet — it broke everything in me.”
“i lashed out, i know i said awful things and i did worse,” he chokes, “i wanted you to hurt like i was hurting. i wanted to forget you. but i couldn’t. and loving you…is the only real thing i’ve ever felt and it scared the shit out of me.”
you’re crying now, tears streaking silently down your cheeks, “i should’ve told you sooner,” you say, barely above a whisper, “i should’ve told you everything. i shouldn’t have played the game at all.”
he steps forward, gently, “it doesn’t matter anymore.”
you shake your head, “it matters to me. because i love you. i never stopped loving you. even when i hated myself for how i hurt you. even when you looked at me like i was nothing.”
“you were never nothing,” he says, voice thick with pain. he closes the distance, hand lifting to cup your cheek. his thumb brushes away a tear with the softness of someone touching something sacred. he’s trembling. you’re trembling. and still, you lean into his palm like it’s home. and something in him finally gives. he pulls you into his arms like he’s been holding every inch of this in since the day he let you walk away. it’s not just a hug. it’s unraveling. a surrender. you crumble against him, clutching his hoodie like if you let go, he might disappear. your face presses to his chest, where you can feel his heartbeat racing. you both hold on like it’s the only thing keeping you alive.
“i’m sorry for lying to you,” you whisper, “for not being braver.”
“i’m sorry for hurting you,” he says, voice muffled in your hair.
“i’ve already forgiven you.”
he pulls back just enough to see your face. to read your eyes. and then he kisses you. soft, like a secret. slow, like an apology. then deeper, desperate, like he’s trying to memorize the shape of forgiveness on your lips. trying to taste every version of the future he thought he lost. the music is still playing low and quiet. the studio pulsing with something living. the broken trust. the missed chances. the words that came too late and the love, raw and imperfect, but real. and in that studio, under the quiet hum of lights and the weight of everything you’ve been through, you begin again.
⊹ ࣪ ˖
the door creaks softly as you step inside jisung’s room, the quiet click of it closing behind you a stark contrast to the noise still floating up faintly from downstairs. in here, the world has stilled. you decided to start over, so you let yourself forget that the last time you stood in this room, your heart was breaking. you focus instead on the soft scent of his laundry detergent, something warm and cottony. his desk is cluttered, lights low, his bed is a mess of blankets and pillows, like he hasn’t bothered pretending things are normal. you don’t say anything. you just collapse together onto the mattress. limbs tangling beneath the covers, bodies fitting together like they remember each other even if your hearts are still catching up. his fingers find yours, tracing light shapes on the inside of your wrist. you’re curled into his side, face half-buried in the worn fabric of his hoodie, where it smells most like him.
then — he speaks, voice barely louder than a whisper, “i know it’s over… but can i ask what the prize was?”
you blink. a pause. the question catching you off guard. “seriously?”
he shrugs a little, eyes still fixed on the ceiling, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “just curious.”
you hesitate. your fingers curl a little tighter into the fabric of his hoodie, “…five hundred dollars,” you say finally, voice a little sheepish, a little ashamed.
he turns his head to look at you, eyes a little wide, “oh.”
“yeah,” you mumble, eyes flicking up to meet his, “dongpyo said i should start an onlyfans.”
his entire body stiffens, “fuck, no.”
you burst into giggles, the sound muffled by his chest, “relax. of course not. but i do need to get a job.” he chuckles, one of those soft, genuine ones that makes his eyes crinkle slightly and your stomach flutter, “we’ll throw a party and charge entrance, you’ll be fine” he says without hesitation, like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
you blink up at him, “seriously? you can do that?”
he brushes some hair away from your face, smile still there, “we do it sometimes. how do you think we can afford these parties anyway?”
you look at him with wide eyes, “wait, but i’ve never paid to get in.”
“hot girls get in for free,” he says simply, like it’s a rule of physics.
you narrow your eyes, “so are sion and dongpyo also hot girls?”
he laughs, “they’re your friends. of course they don’t have to pay.”
“but we’ve been going to your parties since freshman year.”
“yeah,” he says, turning to you with a crooked grin, “and you took my virginity freshman year, you think i’m gonna charge you and your friends for cheap vodka and stale doritos?” he teases. you snort, “wow. so romantic.”
“i try.” your laughter fades slowly into something quieter, the kind of silence that feels full, not empty. the kind where your fingers find his again. where your breaths fall into rhythm. where your heart finally stops racing. his hand drifts to your waist, thumb tracing soft illness.
and then, in that quiet, his voice returns. gentler this time. “promise there won’t be any more lies between us?”
you lift your head just slightly to meet his gaze. his eyes are serious now. you nod immediately. “i promise.” and you mean it. but then, your expression shifts. your smile fades. your gaze slips away. your fingers, which had been tracing the hem of his sleeve, still. something pulls in your chest — like a weight you’ve been ignoring until now. he notices it instantly, “what is it?” he asks softly, “is there something else?”
you hesitate. then you look up at him, wide-eyed and fragile. your voice trembles when you speak, “don’t freak out.”
he sits up slightly, brows furrowing, “you can’t start with ‘don’t freak out’ and expect me not to freak out.”
you sit up too, grabbing his hand quickly, squeezing, “just promise me you won’t.”
“okay,” he says slowly, searching your face, his heart thumping in his chest, “i promise. what is it?”
you take a breath. then another, “i haven’t…” you pause, “i haven’t gotten my period.”
for a second, it’s like the walls have sucked all the air out of the room. his eyes widen, “wait—what?!”
you wince, “i said don’t freak out.”
“I’M NOT FREAKING OUT!,” he squeaks, voice cracking halfway through the sentence, “i’m just–processing…processing very quickly and very loudly.”
you cover your face with your hands, “oh my god.”
he scrambles upright, starts pacing his room like it’s suddenly caught fire, “okay, okay, this is fine. totally fine. you’re not even sure right? like, maybe it’s just late?”
you nod, “it’s probably nothing. it’s probably stress. i mean, everything’s been so—”
“how late?” he interrupts.
you hesitate, “…a week.”
he stops pacing. blinks. breath caught. “okay, okay, its okay,” he nods, eyes wild, “we don’t know anything yet. you’re right. it’s probably nothing.”
you nod. he nods. he sits back down. you’re both nodding at each other like you’re trying to physically keep your panic from exploding. and then he blurts, “should i google it?”
you burst out laughing, “what exactly are you going to google, jisung?”
“i don’t know!,” he says, flustered, “symptoms! timelines! how to breathe properly without fainting?” you giggle as he falls dramatically back onto his bed, placing a hand over his heart like he’s surviving a mild heart attack.
“but…you’re not mad?,” you ask quietly, the humor fading just a little.
he turns his head toward you, gaze instantly soft. “no. why would i be mad?” his voice is gentle again. he laces his hands through yours, “i’m just… nervous.”
you exhale in relief, plopping back down to his side, and cuddling back into him, “it’s probably just stress,” you mumble, your voice muffled against his hoodie.
“probably,” he agrees, “but either way–,” he looks at you, voice soft, “we’ll figure it out together. okay?”
you nod, heart full, leaning into him as he wraps his arms around you again. and just like that — nervous laughs, quiet reassurances, slow kisses between heartbeats — you're right back where you belong. together. no lies. no games. just this.
🍒 JANUARY 8 - BREATHING.
the five pregnancy tests are dramatically lined up across jisung’s bathroom counter like sacred relics. you’re on his bed, knees bouncing. he’s pacing the room in socks and a hoodie over his boxers, clutching the receipt like it’s a legal document.
“i just wanna say,” he begins, dramatically holding up a hand, “this is all your fault.”
you scoff, “my fault?”
“yes,” he says, whirling around, “you’re the one who had the audacity to say don’t freak out and then immediately hit me with i haven’t gotten my period. that’s literally a war crime.”
“oh, please, you’re the one with the weak pull-out game,” you smirk and he looks genuinely offended.
“you told me not to wear a condom!,” he shouts, pointing at the bathroom, “now there’s five pregnancy tests in there! i nearly wiped out the entire pharmacy shelf, the cashier looked at me like i was crazy.”
you snort, “i told you to buy one! it’s not my fault you bought five!”
“i panicked!,” he defends, “what was i supposed to do?! trust one stick?!,” he cries. you dissolve into giggles and he collapses next to you on the bed like a man defeated by science. “i cannot believe this is my life,” he mutters into a pillow, “one minute i’m chilling the next im sweating in aisle five of a drugstore, googling can stress delay a period or am i a dad…and now i have trust issues with my own penis!”
you shake your head, laughing so hard you nearly fall off the bed, “you are so dramatic.” and then your phone timer buzzes. you both freeze. slowly, like you’re approaching a sleeping bear, you walk in the bathroom together and hover above the counter. jisung’s muttering under his breath, “please, jesus, buddha, aliens, anyone.”
you check the first stick – negative. second – negative. all five — negative.
a beat passes. then you both scream. “LET’S GO!!,” he yells, sprinting around the room like he’s just scored the winning goal in a championship, “I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. MY PULL OUT GAME IS STRONGER THAN THE HOLY TRINITY.”
you’re crying with laughter now, wheezing as you double over, “YOU WERE SWEATING THROUGH YOUR SHIRT FIVE MINUTES AGO!.”
“you had me questioning myself, cherry!,” he says, pointing dramatically, “but deep in my soul, i knew. i knew. i am a legend.”
“you bought a pack of tests and baby diapers,” you point out.
“i was just being prepared!”
“you were mentally naming the baby, weren’t you?”
he pauses. guilty silence. “...maybe.” you laugh again and he catches you in his arms, spinning you around dramatically before tumbling with you back onto the bed. you’re both grinning so hard your cheeks hurt.
“seriously though,” he says, nudging his nose against yours, “i’m glad we’re okay.”
“me too,” you whisper, brushing your thumb across his cheek, “that was the worst ten minutes of my life.”
“right?,” he whispers back, then kisses you once, soft and sweet. then he leans in, voice dropping into a mischievous whisper against your mouth, “i think we should celebrate…by having really hot sex right now.”
you snort, “you’re unbelievable.” he grins, eyes glinting with mischief, “unbelievably sexy,” he corrects, rolling over to cage you beneath him. his hoodie brushes against your bare legs as he leans down, pressing another kiss to your lips, he feels you smile. then the kiss deepens, slow and unrushed as you melt into him, hands tugging his hoodie off. you can feel his heart pounding under your palm, and when you roll your hips against him gently, his breath catches against your lips. jisung groans, low and quiet, his hands sliding up your waist, thumbs brushing over the soft curves of your ribs, “i missed this,” he whispers, voice hoarse, “missed you.”
“i’m right here,” you murmur back, brushing your nose against his, “i never went anywhere.” he kisses you again, hungrier now, but still slow, still careful. like he wants to savor this. like he’s memorizing the way you taste after a week of wondering if he’d ever get to touch you again. you reach down tugging his boxers off, he helps you push it down and then they’re gone, tossed somewhere near the foot of the bed.
“you’re sure?,” he whispers, voice low and careful, lips brushing yours.
you nod, eyes steady, “i want you.” his hands slide down to the hem of your (his) hoodie, lifting the fabric slowly. you sit up just enough to let him pull it over your head, then he tosses it somewhere to the floor. jisung’s gaze rakes over you like he can’t believe you’re real, “god,” he whispers, reverent and ridiculous, “i missed these babies.”
you let out a breathless laugh, “you’re so dumb.”
“i’m dead serious, cherry” he says, voice suddenly deeper as his hands cup your breasts fully, thumbs circling your nipples, “i’ve been thinking about them. i mourned them. they were gone too long.” you gasp softly when he rolls his thumbs again, this time slower, more precised. your back arches into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as your breath sutters. jisung groans, “jesus–you’re perfect,” he leans in, kissing across the top of your chest before taking one nipple into his mouth. the marks he left before have faded now and he was going to make sure he leaves new ones. he sucks slow and gentle at first, flicking his tongue just enough to make your hips jerk forwards. you feel his length against your panties, a sweet moan slipping past your lips. he continues to work his mouth over you – switching sides, showing each one way too much favoritism.“still okay?” he murmurs, lips brushing sensitive skin.
you nod quickly, breathless, “more than okay.” he chuckles low in his throat, dragging his tongue back over one peak, then blowing on it just to make you shiver, “i love how sensitive you are here.” you can only moan in response as he keeps going until your thighs are trembling around his waist and your fingers are digging into his shoulders. “i missed the sounds you make when i do this,” you whimper when he sucks harder, your nails digging into his back. your body rolls against him instinctively, grinding down, desperate now. needing him. he slides your panties down and kisses you again, slow and deep. then he reaches down to guide himself through your folds, slow teasing strokes that make your thighs twitch and your breath hitch. you shiver, so ready it almost hurts, your hips chasing his. but just as you brace yourself for him to finally push in, just as your body arches, lips parted, aching — he stills.
your eyes fly open and meet his. he’s not moving. not even breathing.
you blink. “what are you—” and then it hits you. you burst out laughing, body shaking with giggles, “oh my god. you’re scared.”
“i’m scarred,” he corrects, “you think i went through a full-blown midlife crisis in aisle five just to play with fire again?”
you’re breathless with laughter now, cheeks flushed, forehead resting against his. “jisung.”
he frowns, but it’s playful, “i made eye contact with a toddler in the baby aisle,” he goes on, eyes wide, traumatized, “she waved at me. i almost passed out.” you’re giggling helplessly now, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down into a kiss. “okay, okay, you have condoms right?” he immediately perks up, almost forgetting that those existed. he reaches over his nightstand drawer, grabbing one and ripping the wrapper with practiced urgency, sliding it on like an expert. once he’s covered, he settles back between your thighs, bracing himself on his forearms, forehead pressed to yours.
“okay,” he murmurs. “now i can properly blow your mind without the threat of parenthood looming over us.” you laugh into his mouth, and then you’re gasping again as he finally sinks into you. your fingers clutch at his shoulders, his back, anything you can reach, as he moves inside you with slow, deep thrusts. his eyes are locked on yours, lips parted, breathing heavy as he watches every expression flicker across your face. “fuck,” you whimper, head falling back against the pillow. “you’re too big.”
“you say that every time,” he groans, forehead resting against yours, “and every time, you take it so fucking well.” the pressure is overwhelming — too much, too deep, so good — and your body clings to him, shuddering around him with every slow roll of his hips. his arms cage you in, and with every thrust, he fills you so completely it feels like there’s no space left to breathe, to think, to do anything except feel him.
he’s watching the way your face contorts under him, “i can feel how tight you are. god, you’re squeezing me like you need me.” you do. you really, really do. every slow, deep stroke has your legs shaking, your moans growing higher and breathier as he presses in deeper, grinding against that sweet, dangerous spot that makes your vision go white. and then he’s thrusting harder, every drag of his cock hitting just right, making you sob his name like a prayer. you wrap your arms around him, clinging to him like he’s the only thing keeping you grounded.
“fuck, you feel so good,” he growls, voice strained. “so tight, cherry. god, you’re mine. you’re mine.”
when you finally fall apart, it crashes over you hard and fast. your body trembling under him, nails clawing down his back, breath catching in your throat as you cry out his name again and again. he groans softly at the feeling, hips stuttering into you as your body clenches around him, following seconds after, burying his face in your neck, hips stuttering as he groans into your skin, cumming so hard he swore he filled up the entire rubber. he stays there for a moment — still inside you, still catching his breath — before lifting his head to kiss you. not deep, not hungry, just soft. gentle. a kiss made of everything you’ve both held onto through the worst of it. everything that was broken. everything you chose to rebuild. his thumb brushes gently along your jaw. your fingers tangle in his hair.
“i love you,” he whispers. no doubt. no hesitation.
“i love you, too,” you say it back, with your whole heart.
he gives you one last kiss before pulling out, disposing the condom and wrapping the blanket around you both. outside the window, the sky is still soft with the afternoon sun. somewhere in the kitchen downstairs, someone drops a pan. but here, there’s just you. him. and this fragile, beautiful beginning you both nearly ruined — but didn’t.
and for a girl who used to roll her eyes at the mention of love, who used to armor herself in sarcasm and pretend indifference, who used to flinch at tenderness like it was a trick, who used to scoff at fairy tales because they always ended too perfectly, too impossibly — now, it sounded like music. it sounded like a rhythm you want to move with. a song you want to memorize, note by note. a melody stitched between laughter and forgiveness and second chances. a dance you want to dance forever. love, in each others arms, felt like breathing for the first time in years, exhaling the ache you’d both had been carrying alone for far too long, discovering that maybe you weren’t too broken or too hard to love — just waiting for someone who saw you.
𓏲 the end.
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18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: loverboy links (don’t judge me for how many videos are on there. there was supposed to be more too but i hate the stupid 100 link limit)
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an: holy shit you guys 6/7 is done! while i was writing this i realized i wrote way more than i was supposed to because i don’t want it to end yet 😭 (i paid for that by having to deal with tumblrs block characters limit. so annoying. i hope the long paragraphs didn’t bother your reading too much!) anyways this couple has been the cutest for me to write but also the saddest cause every time i wrote a happy scene all i could think of is the upcoming angst 🥲 i hope you loved cherry and jisung! they’re definitely the most touchy and very very young love couple we’ve had. looking forward for your reviews!
likes, reblogs and comments are not required but is very appreciated ⏦゚♡︎
pairing: enemy! hyuck x ex bff! reader | genre:rom-com | words:29k+
synopsis -> lee haechan, theatre major, absolutely hated your guts. you felt the same exact way. the only girl in this whole university that hasn’t fallen for the most popular fuckboy’s charms. which is why it sucks that you have both landed the main roles in the theater’s upcoming play, romeo and juliet. what was that saying about love and hate being a thin line?
warnings -> i lost count of how many times i used the word hate and all it’s synonyms, pet name unlocked: princess, so much arguing, both of them have major communication issues!, so many side characters i hope you know all of them, too many musical references +18, crude humor, language, mentions of: parties, alcohol, reader gets drugged, drunk calling, so much smut i kinda got carried away! thigh riding, slight exhibitionism, very rough sex, hyuck is a dom bottom who lovesss boobies, dry-humping, use of whore and slut, choking, slapping, oral (m+f), fingering, car sex, dirty dirty dirty talk!
an -> the fourth installment of the loverboy series is yours! i’m gonna be honest, i’ve never gotten through romeo and juliet without falling asleep. i did force myself to watch the movie just for this though! and i took a nap in the middle lol. disclaimer! i know nothing about the theater world, i just like musicals! important things to note: 1) haechan is the most popular fuckboy - everyone loves him, he’s charming and funny and he’s not afraid to hurt anyone’s feelings if he needs to 2) all three couples jaemin x angel; jeno x bunny; and mark x kitten are all happily together! have fun reading! - with love, c.
“you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mutter under your breath, the words bitter on your tongue. behind you, the hallway erupts with cheers, laughter, congratulations, celebration of their dream roles. you should be one of them. be as elated, as ecstatic, jump around and cheer for landing the role of one of the two protagonists.
but all you could focus on was the name above yours.
your stomach twists, fists clench at your sides. the letters blur for a second and you blink rapidly, as if reading it again will somehow make it go away. you don’t have to turn around to feel him – that distinct, arrogant presence that always makes your skin crawl. the air arounds you tightens, turns electric, suffocating as he steps up beside you, your shoulders instinctively stiffening like your body was preparing for war.
haechan doesn’t say a word first, just reading the cast list you’ve been cursing at for the past fifteen seconds.
then he scoffs, “what the hell?,” he hissed venomously, before ripping the sheet off the bulletin board, crinkling the edge between his fingers like it personally offended him.
“hey–!,” you snap, breaking from your stunned silence, spinning on your heel to follow him as he storms across the hall like a live grenade looking for somewhere to detonate.
“mr. doyoung!,” his voice cracks through the hallway like a thunderclap, “this has got to be a mistake!”
there it is. that infuriating, entitled tone, like the spoiled, arrogant bastard he’s always been. always louder. always assuming the world should rearrange itself around him. you roll your eyes so hard it hurts, but for the first time in a long time, you actually agree.
“yeah, there’s no way, in hell, you can make me act opposite of him,” you bite out, folding your arms tightly across your chest as you come to a halt beside him. your voice is sharp, clipped, every word aimed to kill as the two of you glare at each other like two predators forced into a cage.
his eyes glint with the same smug cruelty he’s weaponized against you, “then drop the part,” he sneers, that damned smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, “save us all the agony.”
you scoff, “if anyone’s dropping out, it should be you.” you step closer, close enough to feel the anger radiating off of him. your noses are inches apart, breaths sharp, shallow, matching like clashing rhythms.
his eyes narrow, “not in a million years, princess,” he spits. the nickname laced with the kind of condescension that makes your blood boil — the same nickname he gave you when you first met in freshman year of high school. it used to hold playfulness until junior year when he used it to spite you, calling you a spoiled, whiny brat in front of all your classmates.
“i. hate. you.” you hiss, slow and deliberate, as if saying it any softer wouldn’t do your fury justice.
“not as much as i. hate. you,” he fires back instantly as if he’s been waiting to say it.
and you know you both mean it. every syllable.
the silence between you is razor-sharp, about to break into something neither of you will be able to take back until mr. doyoung finally claps his hands together, far too enthusiastically.
“ahhh, exactly the kind of fire i’d expect from my two star crossed lovers,” he beams, though there’s a flicker of panic behind his eyes for the future of his play, “so much...raw emotion, i’m sure you’ll channel it beautifully!,” he smiles that bunny-like smile. you both turn to glare at him.
mr. doyoung’s smile falters, “orrr maybe i’ll add a few extra rehearsals. just in case.”
you want to scream. you want to throw the script in his face. you want the ground to open up and swallow him whole. transport him somewhere far away from you where you would never have to see him again. instead, you glare at him and know this is going to be war.
ཐིཋྀ the first week of rehearsals
the rehearsal room smells like dust and desperation. the air is heavy, slow, stale and every time the fan completes it’s rotation, it just blow more disappointment into your face.
but none of it compares to the static crackling between you and him.
“i’m not doing that,” you snap, backing away from haechan like his presence is physically repulsive, “if he touches me like that again, i swear to god, i’m walking out.” there’s something about the way haechan put his hand on your waist, not even hard, not even long, that makes your whole body go tight, defensive.
“jesus christ,” haechan groans, dramatically running a hand through his already disheveled hair as he paces like a caged animal, like the floor can somehow absorb his frustration, “it’s called blocking and i’m supposed to stand there. it’s the scene. what are you? an amateur.”
the both of you hate each other but you both knew you were far from amateurs. especially in the theatre world. you were always part of the main ensemble, so was he. it’s almost ironic how you never saw it coming…that one day you would land a role opposite his.
you glare daggers, “it’s called basic respect for personal space, not an invitation to grope me,” you shoot back, matching his volume now, hands on your hips, “and you didn’t follow the mark. you were supposed to take one step forward, not three and a half and a hand on my waist.”
“that’s literally where romeo touches juliet. in the script,” he grits out, teeth clenching, “ever heard of it?,” his eyes flash, jaw tight.
“i’ve read it,” you snap, voice rising in heat, “i just don’t think shakespeare imagined romeo groping juliet like a frat boy.”
“groping?,” he repeats, incredulous, “you’re delusional. talk about overreacting, as if i would ever want to grope you.”
you glare, “at least i can act.” it’s petty. it’s low. but it lands. you see the spark behind his eyes flare into flame.
he barks out a laugh that’s so disbelieving it echoes, “that’s rich coming from you. every time i look at you, you look dead, let me remind you juliet is still alive in this scene.”
“maybe because looking at you makes me want to jump off the balcony and actually end it myself!,” you yell, voice going an octave higher with every word.
you hate him so much. hate the way you act when he’s around. you’re not usually like this. you’re calm, sweet, a walking ray of sunshine. but when he’s around. it’s all a mess.
“okay, ENOUGH!”
mr. doyoung’s voice cuts through the room like a whip, his usual patience obliterated, stepping between the two of you like a human peace treaty, “you are juliet,” he says to you, “-and you are romeo,” he turns to haechan, “i don’t plan on changing any of the cast so if you two don’t find a way to sell the illusion that you’re in love, this entire show is going to be a very expensive dumpster fire.”
neither of you speak. too busy glaring at each other, like eye contact alone might ignite spontaneous combustion. mr. doyoung sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “let’s just…try the balcony scene again. from the top. no improvising. no suicide jokes. just the lines. please. for the love of theater.”
you both reluctantly take your marks, haechan looks up at you, a few feet above the stage, perched on a rickety prop balcony that feels two screws away from collapsing, wobbling under your feet.
he takes his place below, casting a look up at you that’s less romantic longing and more barely restrained murder. then he begins, voice flat, eyes dead, “but, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? it is the east, and juliet is the sun.”
you blink slowly, unimpressed, “really?,” you call down, loud enough to make mr. doyoung’s eye twitch. “that’s your romeo? he sounds like he’s reading from the terms and conditions page,” you insult.
“i’m projecting,” he says defensively, like the word justifies everything.
“you’re projecting boredom,” you deadpan, “romeo’s in love, not filing a complaint with customer service”
“oh, i’m sorry,” he stays stepping forward with mock enthusiasm, “it’s hard to sound passionate when i’m looking at someone who constantly has a resting bitch face.”
“you’re such a dick!,” you snap from the balcony.
“and you’re nothing but a spoiled brat!”
you both shout over each other. mr. doyoung lets out an almost feral scream and hurls his clipboard across the stage. it hits a chair and ricochets loudly, silencing the room. the rest of the cast sharing multiple side-eyes.
“end of rehearsals!,” he bellows, voice cracking with pure, unfiltered despair. you don’t need to be told twice. you turn on your heel and storm off the left side of the stage without looking back. you don’t need to. you can feel him heading the other way, like magnets forced apart.
and yet, even as you leave the room, you can still feel him…under your skin, buzzing through your veins.
ཐིཋྀ the second week of rehearsals
mr. doyoung looks like he’s aged ten years over the week. his clipboard is cracked down the spine, his coffee has gone cold, and his voice has taken on the strained edge of a man dangling off the brink of a nervous breakdown — there has been absolutely no progress when it comes to his leading actors.
he watches, again, as the scene falls apart. you stand center stage, shoulders stiff, delivering your lines like someone reading a grocery list and haechan was delivering his like a stand-up comedian doing shakespeare for drunks.
“you know what?,” mr. doyoung finally snaps, his voice cracking under the strain of suppressed rage, “i’m done. i’m tired of the two of you wasting everyone’s time.” you and haechan glance at each other with deadpan synchronicity and immediately roll your eyes in perfect unison. the only thing you can do in sync.
“i’m not going to waste one more minute pretending this is salvageable until you two get your shit together,” he pulls a key from his pocket, walks toward the back rehearsal room and without warning, yanks the door open, “get in.”
you hesitate. so does haechan. but mr. doyoung’s eyes blaze with the quiet fury of a man who has nothing left to lose. before either of you can protest, he herds you both into the cramped rehearsal room, walls lined with mismatched props and discarded costumes. he slams the door shut behind you, the sound of the lock clicking echoing through the space like a death sentence.
“you’re going to spend the next hour locked in this room. read the lines, build chemistry. i don’t care how you do it but make sure it works or i swear to god i will cast freshmen in the lead roles and let the whole show burn,” he instructs from the other side, his footsteps retreating down the hall.
mr. doyoung knew the two of you too well, both too proud, too consumed by your own egos and the thrill of performing. you didn’t just want to act, you wanted to outshine, to dominate every scene. all it needed was a little push, to finally get you where he wants.
“great,” you mutter, crossing your arms as you lean against the wall, “trapped in a room with you, it’s just like high school all over again.”
haechan stares at you like he’s seconds away from choosing violence, “believe me princess, i’d rather be stuck in a room filled with plague-infested rats than be here with you.”
“let’s just get this over with so we can get out of here,” you roll your eyes as you both grab your scripts. tension hanging like a thundercloud.
“deny thy father and refuse thy name–,” you start.
“maybe try not sounding like you’re ai,” haechan cuts in, already annoyed, tone drenched in mockery.
your eyes narrow, “this is ridiculous,” you mutter, slapping the script onto a table, “he really thinks chemistry can be forced?”
haechan scoffs, “it’s not chemistry that’s the problem. it’s you.”
you spin toward him, a furrow on your features, “right, because the way you butcher romantic lines make the audience swoon.”
“i’m sorry, have you ever heard yourself say ‘oh romeo, oh romeo’ without sounding like you’re a fucking gps?”
your voice rises, “god, you’re not even trying to act like you’re in love with me!,”
“maybe because the idea makes me want to rip out my own eyeballs,” he snarls, stepping closer.
“you are the most arrogant!,” you take a step closer, voice rising, veins protruding, “most infuriating–”
you don’t see it coming.
one second you’re shouting at each other, chest heaving, veins on fire and the next, his hands are tangled in your hair, mouth crushing yours like a threat – the kiss is messy. too much teeth. zero warning. absolute chaos.
you shove him off, lips bruised and tingling, breath ragged, eyes blown out, “are you fucking insane?!”
haechan looks like a deer caught in headlights, eyes flickering with something wild, shock and hunger all at once, but before he can register what he just did, you grab his shirt and pull him down into another kiss – twice as hard, all tongue and fury and years of pent-up hatred combusting between your teeth.
it’s not romantic. it’s war.
he stumbles back into the worn chair and you follow, climbing into his lap and straddling his thigh like you’re still trying to win. your skirt rides up as your knees settle on either side of his leg. hot, wet core pressing against the thick line of muscle beneath you, haechan’s own gym shorts bunching up on his thigh and for the first time, you’re both quiet. just the obscene sound of mouths and breath and friction echoing throughout the room.
your hips rock forward, slow at first, then harder. a needy, broken sound slips past your lips, making his cock twitch in his shorts.
“god,” he breathes into your jaw, “i would’ve done this years ago if i knew it’d finally shut you up,” his lips trail down your jaw, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses.
“you’re such a cocky piece of shit,” you hiss, panting against his mouth, hips still rocking into his thigh.
“and you’re still a brat,” he growls, gripping your waist like he might lose his mind otherwise, “but fuck–keep doing that.”
“i hate you,” you growl against his lips as you continue to ride his thigh anyway. like the words would justify any of this.
“you’re grinding on me like you don’t,” he says smugly.
“shut up.”
“make me.”
you do. you pull his hair and kiss him again, tongue in his mouth – filthy, hot, tangled. the pressure builds fast, molten and sharp. your tits brush his chest, perky nipples peeking through the thin fabric of your white shirt, his hands hot and demanding on your ass. he whines into your mouth and it’s almost enough to make you lose yourself entirely. you pick up rhythm, shameless and hungry, the movement hitting that perfect, aching spot.
haechan loathes how hot you look right now. on top of him, leaving a wet trail all over his leg, tits bouncing to the rhythm you’ve set. and he hates how his body is betraying him even more. absolutely despises the way all his blood is surging straight to his cock.
your nails dig into his shoulders, clutching him like an anchor as your rhythm stutters, speeding up then slowing down as pleasure starts to overtake logic.
“fuck,” you pant, lips brushing his, breath hot and ragged, “i’m gonna–”
“keep going,” he groans, voice whiny and hoarse, almost broken, “don’t stop, just—fuck—,” both of you lost in the heat and pleasure taking over.
his fingers dig into your hips with bruising intensity, like he’s holding on to the last thread of control. his eyes clamp shut, forehead dropping to your shoulder as his breath stutters, shallow, ragged, desperate. he’s completely still for half a second…then a full-body shiver runs through him.
you feel it. the tension. the collapse. the sudden hitch in his breath against your neck. the way he curses under it, low and broken, “shit.”
you freeze, then pull back just far enough to see his face. his eyes are blown wide, pupils drowning in dark, cheeks flushed with something that looks a lot like shame.
“did you just—” you whisper, half breathless, half cruel, hips slowing into a lazy roll meant only to taunt. you’re grinning now, wicked and disbelieving.
“shut up,” he mutters against your skin, but his voice is wrecked. gone. the edge of humiliation bleeding through.
your eyes drag over the heat in his cheeks, the tension in his jaw, the way he refuses to meet your gaze and a laugh slips out, breathy, stunned, “oh my god. you did.”
he glares at you, face still flushed, every muscle taut like he’s deciding whether to deny it or destroy you for saying it. his pride was fraying, splintering – and then his hands fists in your hair, yanks your mouth back to his, eyes darker now, sharp with something feral as he regains his voice “i didn’t tell you, you could stop,” he growls, voice a low snarl against your lips.
then he takes over — in a blink, haechan’s hands clamp down on your hips, commanding your every grind, gripping like he’s trying not to completely lose it again. his mouth latches on that exposed skin above your breast, hot and unrelenting, teeth scraping, tongue following like he wants to mark you. wants you to hate yourself at the reminder of his lips on your skin.
his thigh flexes beneath you, on purpose this time, pushing up against you with just enough force to make you gasp, completely wiping away that smug he despises.
he hates you. god, he hates you. hates how every little thing you do sets off something in him, a chain reaction he can’t control. every movement, every breathy sound wrecking him in ways he’ll never admit.
“fuck, haechan,” you whine, shutting your eyes in pleasure, forehead pressed to his, “don’t stop.”
his breath catches, you’ve never said his name like that before, so raw, so needy, so desperate. it short-circuits something in him.
“wasn’t planning on it,” he mutters, voice low. he rolls your hips faster and faster, practically bouncing you on his thigh. the chair below you creaks but you barely hear it over your own wrecked breathing.
“you’re such a fucking slut, princess, hating me and getting off on my thigh like this,” he smirks, completely taking over the situation now. the words shouldn’t turn you on more. but they do. your body responds before your brain can catch up, lighting up like a match thrown onto gasoline. you can’t stop. you don’t stop. your fingers claw into his shoulders for balance as you grind down harder, breathy whines slipping in between your heavy breathing, entire body on fire, like every nerve has been rewired to respond to him and only him.
“go on princess,” he taunts, voice low, filthy, infuriating, “use me. i’ll let you,” he mocks like you should be grateful. like this is a gift. like he isn’t the one who came untouched in his shorts.
you hate it. you love it. you hate him.
“say it,” you pant, lips grazing his, breathless and daring.
his eyes are on fire, “say what?”
“that you hate me.”
his mouth curls into that cocky, devastating grin that you want to slap and kiss at the same time. “i hate you so fucking much,” he groans against your lips, swallowing the noise you make like he’s starving for it.
then his hand dives under your skirt, fingers rough and urgent, dragging your panties to the side. you don’t stop moving, continuing to ride his thigh, chasing that high. the press of skin against skin pushes you over the edge. you cry out, not caring if there was a chance mr. doyoung was listening in. the room’s spinning, heat rising like a fever. the tension in your stomach ready to explode.
“god,” you choke, voice cracking, “i’m gonna come on your fucking leg.”
his eyes darken, hands gripping tighter as he bites your earlobe with just enough force to run shivers down your spine, “do it,” he hisses, words like sin against your ear, “paint it.”
then his thumb finds your clit, circling harsh, precise circles. and it’s over. your whole body tenses, hips grinding down, breath catching, head tossed back, lips parted in a soft, stunned moan as pleasure rolls through you like a slow explosion. it seizes you from the inside out, heat blooming behind your eyes, your limbs trembling where you straddle him.
haechan swears under his breath, jaw tight, eyes darkening and locked on you like he’s watching something unholy and holy all at once. you slump against his chest, breathless, spent, your hands still clutching the collar of his shirt like it’s the only thing anchoring you to reality. he doesn’t say anything at first, just holds you there, heartbeat loud and frantic under your palm. his thigh still twitching from the aftermath.
eventually, you pull back enough to look at him. his hair’s a mess. his mouth is swollen. there’s a stunned, reverent look in his eyes that he tries, and fails, to cover with a smirk like he’s not sure what the hell just happened. and you’re sure you look the exact same way.
“well,” you breathe, blinking slowly, “that was…”
“method acting” he says, but his voice is hoarse, “completely professional, shakespeare would be proud.”
you let out a stunned laugh and shove his shoulder, “i still hate you.”
“and i, you” his mouth curves into that smug smile that you swore was glued onto his face.
“this isn’t happening again.” you say it sharp, sure.
“wouldn’t dream of it, princess,” he smirks, cocky and vexing.
ཐིཋྀ the third week of rehearsals
the rehearsal space feels different now. it shouldn’t. the floor is the same scuffed black, taped up with the same blocking marks you argued over last time. mr. doyoung is still barking notes from behind his clipboard, a coffee in one hand and a red pen in the other.
everything is the same. except you. except him.
the space between you used to be poison. now it’s something else. it crackles with something hotter, wilder, like dry air before a thunderstorm. charged and dangerous.
neither of you dares to speak of it. admit it.
you haven’t touched since that rehearsal, not so much as a brush of fingers. you haven’t spoken about what happened but your body hasn’t forgotten. neither has his. every glance feels like it could combust on contact. every time your eyes meet across the room, you feel the memory of his mouth. the way he kissed you mid-scream, like anger was just a mask for hunger. the way your hips rocked against his hard thigh. the way you both hated it, and how much worse it was that you enjoyed it, too.
you’re not proud of it. you try to ignore it. try to act normal. professional. just two enemies pretending to be in love. no big deal. you’re adults. adults can handle unresolved sexual tension and violent mutual resentment…right?
“y/n and haechan,” mr. doyoung’s voice cuts through the static in your head. your eyes snap up, heart thudding against your ribs. you grit your teeth.
the “and” makes your skin crawl. you hate how he says it. your name first. then his. like a pair. a duo. like you belong together.
“let’s run the balcony scene again,” mr. doyoung continues, “and this time, try not to fight.”
you let out a slow, measured breath and glance down at your crumpled script. the words blur for a second before snapping back into focus. you know them already. every line, every pause, every look juliet gives romeo – you practiced it all week.
what you don’t know is how to stand next to haechan without remembering what he sounds like with his breath ragged and your name tangled on his tongue. you almost want to start a fight, just to get out of doing this scene.
your pulse stutters before you even lift your head, because you can feel him. the weight of his stare from across the black box stage. for once, he doesn’t open with some smug quip or insult. he just gives a nod. subtle. almost respectful. almost.
you arch a brow, eyes narrowed, finally looking his way. he doesn’t smile. doesn’t smirk. just murmurs under his breath as he steps into place, “don’t look at me like that,” he says under his breath, “i’m trying not to hate you for five minutes.”
“gee, thanks,” you mutter, stepping into position.
you move to the edge of the mock balcony, script still clutched like a shield. but the words feel heavier now. the scene begins. your voice is steady because it has to. because this is theatre.
“o romeo, o romeo…”
you read the lines. and somehow, a true miracle, you don’t argue. not once. he doesn’t interrupt. you don’t roll your eyes. there are no snarky remarks or insults coming from you or him. the tension is still there but it’s different. sharper. controlled. like both of you have locked it in a cage between your ribs and are desperately pretending it isn’t rattling to get out.
when the scene ends, there’s a pause.
then mr. doyoung claps his hands together, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in shock, “holy hell, that was almost convincing! what the hell did you two do, blood sacrifice? therapy? drugs?”
your mouth opens, but no sound comes out.
how do you tell your theater director that the only reason you and your sworn enemy can tolerate each other on stage is because you both got so angry you rode his thigh until you both came?
you can’t — neither of you answers. you just look at each other, both of your cheeks pink, heartbeat in your ears. you swallow hard as haechan clears his throat awkwardly before hopping off the platform.
but that strange, dangerous something hangs in the air. the same something you both refuse to acknowledge — you feel it every time he walks behind you and your back stiffens instinctively. you feel it when his shoulder brushes yours just a little too closely and you pretend not to notice. you look at his mouth a second too long when speaks. he looks at your legs when you pace the stage and quickly looks away.
neither of you says anything. you’re fine. it’s just a normal rehearsal. nothing happened. nothing is happening.
except it is.
and it becomes extremely evident when you’re packing up and someone from the ensemble cracks the wrong joke at the wrong time. you bend to shove your script into your bag and that’s when it happens.
“hey, princess,” someone snorts. you’ve hated that nickname since high school but hearing it from someone else makes your entire body go rigid, “you should really wear something under that skirt besides that black underwear, especially when you’re on that balcony.”
the entire room doesn’t go silent, no one else seems to be paying attention. but your blood roars too loud in your ears. slowly you turn, eyes narrowed at one of your castmates, sunwoo.
you were ready to fire back, eyes already in flames, mouth locked and loaded with a kill shot but before you can open your mouth, haechan’s already moving.
he steps in front of you like it’s instinct. shoulders squared. voice cool, but laced with venom, “say that again,” he says.
sunwoo blinks, caught off guard. haechan was always the first to rag on you, the first to poke until you snapped. he wasn’t supposed to be the one stepping in.
“relax, romeo,” the boy scoffs, “it was a joke–”
“no, go ahead,” haechan interrupts, his voice icy and his smile even colder, “say it louder. maybe you’ll get downgraded to the role of annoying extra who gets their teeth kicked in.”
the threat is quiet. clean. almost polite. but it lands like a fist. sunwoo stares for a second too long, then backs off with a bitter chuckle, “whatever you say, romeo,” he retreats towards the exit.
you’re left staring at haechan, confusion flickering all over your features, “what the hell was that?,” you demand.
he shrugs like it was nothing, like it was completely normal to threaten someone on your behalf, “no one gets to talk to you like that.”
your brows furrow, more confused than ever, “you talk to me like that.”
“exactly,” he says, looking you dead in the eyes, “that’s my job.”
there’s a pause. your heartbeat kicks up. you hate him. you want him. you hate that you want him. and he’s looking at you like he knows every thought you’re having—and is thinking the exact same thing.
you scoff and shove past him, muttering, “asshole.”
his voice follows behind you, low and maddening and far too close, “don’t pretend you didn’t like it.”
you whip your head over your shoulder, cheeks burning, “excuse me?”
“you heard me.”
the dressing room hallway is dim and too quiet now, everyone else has already left. you stop just short of the bathroom door, hearing his footsteps closing the space behind like a slow hung. you don’t look at him. you can’t. not when your skin is already betraying you with how hot it feels.
you shove the door open. he’s right behind you.
it shuts behind you with a sharp click. neither of you speaks. not for a beat. not for two. then you both move at the same time. instinct, gravity, need. whatever the hell it is.
it’s not a kiss. not right away. it’s a clash of bodies, of mouths, of breaths and need and denial imploding all at once. your back slams into the wall, his hand protectively behind your head as yours curls around his neck. you’re both too close and not close enough. teeth graze lips. fingers tangled in fabric.
“you’re so fucking annoying,” you whisper, jaw clenched, forehead pressed to his.
“yeah?,” he breathes, voice rough. his grip tightens on your waist, grinding you against the hard line of him through his jeans, “well, you’re cute and it’s pissing me off.”
“tell me you hate me,” you snarl, like saying it might make this feel less like surrender.
“i do,” he growled, voice thick with fury and something worse, something hungrier. his fingers were already sliding beneath your skirt, knuckles brushing your thigh and your body can’t help but react, arching into his touch, “so much, i can’t think straight” he spits, right before he tore your panties clean in half with a sound that echoes in the tiny room.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?!,” you shoved at his chest, just enough to prove you could. just enough to pretend you didn’t want this. enough to pretend your pride was still intact. like the heat slicking between your legs didn’t mean a damn thing. he was so goddamn hot. so infuriatingly, sinfully hot.
“you’re such a fucking whore,” he snapped, eyes burning into yours, “you knew we were rehearsing the balcony scene and you only wore this underneath,” he holds up the torn fabric like evidence, his smirk pure sin, “you did this for me, didn’t you, princess? wanted my attention that badly, huh?” his voice dripped venom, but his pupils were blown wide, starved.
“you wish,” you shot back, lifting your chin, daring him.
he chuckles, low and lethal, before lifting the torn fabric to his nose and breathing you in like he needed to live.
“you’re sick in the head.”
“and you smell so fucking sweet,” he murmurs, voice dark with need. then, without hesitation, he tucks your panties in his pocket and sinks to his knees like he was praying at an altar, his mouth finding you fast and filthy.
“fuck-” your head tipped back as your fingers clawed for purchase on the edge of the sink next to you, the other tangled tight in his hair, anchoring yourself to the madness he dragged you into.
he groaned into you like he was starved, tongue moving with filthy precision, like he’d mapped you out in a dream and now he was just following directions. you tried to keep quiet, tried to bite your lip, swallow your noises, not wanting to give him any gratification, but when he sucked on your clit like he wanted to ruin you, a sob tore from your throat.
“couldn’t stop thinking about your moans,” he rasps between licks, voice wrecked.
“shut the fuck up,” your hips bucked against his mouth before you could stop yourself.
he laughs into your cunt, the vibration sending lightning up your spine as he licked into you harder, tongue fucking in and out of your entrance. you tug his hair so hard he groans again and you hated how much that sound made you clench.
this is insane. this is toxic. this is absolutely the best head of your life.
“i’m gonna, fuck, if you don’t stop, i’m gonna come,” your panting now, legs shaking. the only thing holding you upright is his grip on your hips.
“good,” he growled, dragging you down further onto his tongue, “fall apart for me, princess.”
the nickname sounded hotter, echoing in your mind, pushing you to your limit as your legs trembled, thighs clamping around his head and then you’re unraveling – moaning, shaking, coming hard on his tongue.
he moaned into your slick, like your orgasm was his reward. like he was addicted to it. your nails scraped down the porcelain sink, the high-pitched whimper that left your throat is so humiliating, so raw, it almost didn’t sound like you.
when you finally loosened your grip on his hair, he pulled back with a wet, obscene sound, mouth glistening.
“still hate me?” he asked, licking your taste off his lips.
you're trembling, panting, mind spinning and completely undone,“more than ever.”
“good,” he said, standing to his full height. his hand curled around your jaw, thumb pressing hard against your bottom lip until it parted, “then you won’t mind if i choke you with my cock.”
you didn’t answer, but your lips stayed open. and that was all the consent he needed. with one hand, he undid his belt, the clink of metal sharp in the silence.
“on your knees,” he ordered, voice dark, deadly. you roll your eyes before you can stop yourself and the defiance crawls under his skin like static. you were so fucking irritating so he grabbed a fistful of your hair and made you, forcing you down until you were kneeling in front of him on the grimy bathroom floor.
face mere inches away from his cock – thick and heavy in his hand, already leaking for you.
“you’re gonna pretend you don’t want this too?” he asked, stroking himself slowly, deliberately, right in front of your mouth.
you hated him. you hated how beautiful his cock was. you hated how your mouth watered.
“fuck you,” you whispered.
“you wish,” he sneered, “now open that pretty, lying mouth, princess,” he slapped his cock lightly against your lips. and you hated how fast you obeyed.
he slid in with a deep groan, slow at first, savoring the heat of your tongue, the way your lips closed tight around him like you were starved for it. his fingers twisted in your hair, guiding your pace, slow, then faster, then rougher, like he was punishing you for every fight you’d ever started.
“look at you,” he snarled, hips snapping forward, “on your knees sucking my cock like it’s all you’ve ever fucking wanted.”
you moaned around him, which only made him twitch harder. he started fucking into your throat with a filthy rhythm, panting, groaning, praising and cursing under his breath.
“take it. come on, princess,” he growled, pushing in impossibly deeper, it felt like you were swallowing him, “-that’s it, fuuuck, just like that.””
your eyes watered, mascara smeared, spit pooling at the corners of your mouth as you gagged and gasped around him. your hands clutched his thighs, not sure anymore if you were pushing him away or pulling him deeper. he looked down at you with a snarl twisted into something almost reverent.
“you’re a fucking dream,” he growled, “wrecked, ruined, all mine to destroy.”
you wanted to slap him. you wanted to make him come so hard he saw stars — so you sucked harder.
his grip tightened in your hair, knuckles white, cock throbbing against your tongue as your head bobbed faster and faster, taking him deeper each time. your jaw ached, throat burned, eyes ruined, spit smeared your chin but you couldn’t stop. not when he was unraveling like that above you. not when his control, his cocky, unbearable composure, was finally cracking.
“fuuuck, y/n,” he groaned, hips stuttering, “y-you’re so fucking good,” he praises, letting out a guttural noise, halfway between a growl and a whimper, and you realized with vicious satisfaction that he was close. desperate. needy. whining like his life depended on it.
you looked up, tongue swirling, and the second your teary, ruined eyes met his, he broke.
“shit, f-fuck,” he slammed deep one last time, cock pulsing against the back of your throat as he came, hard and hot, filling your mouth like he’d been holding it back for days. his whole body shuddered. he cursed again, holding you there, breath ragged, chest heaving like he’d just climbed out of hell.
you swallowed every drop without breaking eye contact. then slowly, so slowly, pulled off him with a slick pop, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand like it was nothing. his eyes were still half-wild when he looked at you, dilated, glassy, like he wasn’t fully back in his body yet.
and yours? flat. cool. detached. or at least trying to be. trying to pick up the pride you let fall. trying to regain the control you easily handed over to him.
you stood, straightened your skirt, ignored the way your knees trembled a little and the way your legs threatened to give out. across from you, he tucked himself back into his pants in silence, hands shaking just slightly as he buckled his belt, your ruined panties peeking from his back pocket.
for a beat, the bathroom was silent, except for your shared breaths and the buzzing of fluorescent lights. then, like flipping a switch, you caught your reflection, instantly reminded of who you were, where you were, who you were with and what you just did. you hate him even more.
you patted your hair back into place, calmly pulling yourself back together and fixing your flushed lips and smeared mascara.
“no one finds out about this,” you said, tone flat, dismissive, like he hadn’t just unraveled inside your mouth.
“please,” he scoffed, lip curling, “i’d rather die than have people know i let your mouth anywhere near my cock.”
your gaze sharpened, but you didn’t flinch, “good,” you muttered, already moving toward the door, head high, ignoring how the air kissed your bare core with every step.
“wait,” his voice halts your movement, before you turn towards him, eyes already sharp, ready to cut.
“what now?,” you snap back. he didn’t answer at first, just shrugged off his jacket. takes three swift steps and he was in front of you, tying it low around your waist with the kind of ease that made your breath hitched.
“your ass bounces with every step, princess,” he said, lips brushing your ear.
you opened your mouth to respond but then he reached into his back pocket, pulled out your torn panties, and with a cocky smirk, stuffed them into his bag, “and this way, we’re even.”
for once, you had no words. you just pushed the door open and walked out. no thanks, no glances back, no trace of the filthy thing you’d just done. you moved through the hallway like your throat hadn’t just been fucked raw. like your pussy wasn’t still throbbing.
and a few seconds later, he followed, jaw tight, eyes dark, body calm, as if nothing had happened. as if he wasn’t still tasting you on the tip of his tongue. as if he wasn’t replaying the sound of your moans in his head.
as if the both of you hadn’t tasted your sworn enemy… and liked it.
ཐིཋྀ the fourth week of rehearsals
the script lay forgotten between you, crumpled in his sheets, its margins scribbled with notes and crossed-out lines. you’d barely made it halfway through act ii before the space on his mattress started feeling too tight. too hot.
you were supposed to be practicing. you were supposed to be fixing what you both ruined in week one. all the wasted rehearsals you spent glaring each other down, aiming snarky remarks instead of script lines.
instead, you were staring at the curve of his throat as he leaned back on his elbows, lips parted, legs spread just wide enough to make you clench. to make you remember how his leg felt between your thighs. and he was staring at you with that same dazed and cocky look. the one full of invitation, almost challenging you to do something about it. the one that says i know you want me too.
“focus,” you snapped, even though your voice sounded thin and you’re not sure whether the word is directed towards him or yourself, your hold tightened around the script like it could stop your traitorous hand from reaching out and doing something that’ll completely crush your ego.
“i am focused,” he murmured, dragging his gaze down over your bare legs, over your thighs, and resting, boldly, in the space between them. you could feel it, the phantom heat of his stare on your skin.
you snapped your fingers, “eyes up here, romeo,” you crossed your arms, “we promised mr. doyoung we’d take this seriously.”
haechan raised a brow, amused, “we’ve been taking it seriously for two weeks, look at us, i literally let you in my room just to rehearse.”
you narrow your eyes at him, “you say that like being in here is a reward.”
he smirks, “c’mon princess, let’s not lie, a million girls would kill to be in your spot right now,” a cocky grin on his face. you wanted to wipe it off. slap it away. kiss it away. you’re not too sure at this point.
“what? sitting on these bed sheets that you haven’t changed in weeks? the smell of axe body spray attacking their nostrils?,” you roll your eyes.
“i change those every week and i don’t even use axe, you must be smelling yourself,” he rolls his eyes.
“please, if i reeked of desperation and cheap cologne, i’d be you,” you shoot back, chin lifted, proud of the way his smirk faltered for half a second. you’ll never admit the way you secretly enjoy the smell of his cologne, the way it intoxicates you like a potion pulling you under a spell.
he sits up a little straighter, elbows propped on his knees now, eyes glinting with an infuriating mix of challenge and amusement. “desperation?,” he echoes, voice low, “princess, if anyone here’s desperate, it’s you. you’ve been eye-fucking me since you got here.”
your breath catches, partly from the audacity, partly because he’s not entirely wrong. but you recover fast, “please,” you scoff, “you’re the one looking at me like i’m your last meal.”
haechan laughs, head tilted back. he taps his fingers against his knee, a thoughtful little rhythm that drives you insane before leaning in again, “okay, fine. you wanna be serious? let’s be serious.”
you raise a brow, “that’d be a first for you.”
“let’s fuck.”
your brain blanks. for a second, it doesn’t even register, “what?!”
“lets just do it. get it out of our systems,” he says casually, like what he suggested wasn’t completely, absolutely, batshit crazy. “all this tension? it’s messing with rehearsals. so let’s just…,” he gestures vaguely between you, “rip the bandaid off. hate-fuck it out.”
you blink, trying to process his words. this had to be a joke. a dare. a trap, “you’re suggesting we sleep together for the sake of the theater department.”
“i’m suggesting we do everyone a favor and stop letting whatever this is,” he gestures again, less vaguely this time, at the very obvious, very mutual heat between you, “sabotage our performances. one time. no repeats. no weirdness.”
“oh there’ll be weirdness,” you mutter, folding your arms, your heart pounding in your throat.
“not if we’re adults about it,” he grins. that infuriating, boyish, charming grin, “can you be an adult, princess?”
you laugh, incredulous, “you? be an adult?, you still giggle when someone says ‘enter from the rear’ in stage directions.”
“okay, first of all, i see you laughing too,” he points a finger at you, that same stupid smirk still glued to his face, “second of all, im serious. we fuck and then we go back to being bitter enemies who can’t stand the sight of each other. clean slate.”
you stare at him, heart thudding, thoughts spiraling. it’s a terrible idea. the worst idea he’s ever had. but what’s even worse is the fact that you’re actually considering it.
“and what if you realize im the best fuck you’ve ever had and start following me around like a lovesick puppy?,” you quip a brow, a teasing smile on your face.
he barks out a laugh, cocky and careless, “never gonna happen, princess,” he says, leaning in so close you can feel the heat of his body radiating, “you’re not that good.”
you raise a brow, “that’s rich coming from someone who came untouched.” his expression darkens instantly, smirk faltering, the memory clearly still a bruise to his pride. you take this time to garner control and with no warning, you lunged — kissing him hard, desperate, sharp, messy. your teeth caught on his lip. you kiss him like he’s your last cigarette, like he’s something you have to burn through just to breathe.
he responds immediately, groaning into your mouth, hands flying to your waist, pulling you onto his lap, like he needed to leave fingerprints there.
you straddle him, fumbling with his shirt, dragging it up and over his head and shoving him backward until his back hits the bed with a grunt, “still think this is a good idea?,” you breathe, throwing your shirt over your head, leaving you in a lacy brown bra that makes his cock twitch in his shorts.
he props himself on his elbows, gaze dark and fixed on you as you strip, “no,” he says, eyes raking over your body like a challenge, “i think it’s the best idea i’ve ever had.”
your signature skirt rides up as you grind down against his hard bulge, enough to make him hiss.
“i still hate you,” you murmur, needing to remind yourself every single time.
“good,” he growls, thumbs digging into your waist, “say it again when i’m inside you.”
his voice grates in your ear. so smug. so loud. you slap him before you can think. not too hard, just enough to make his jaw twitch. he stares at you, stunned for half a second and then he smirks again, “god, you’re such a fucking brat.”
you slap him again, slower this time, deliberately, and he groans like everything about this turns him on. “you like that?,” you whisper, grinding harder now, testing him. he doesn’t answer, he refuses to give you any words of satisfaction.
instead his hand slide up your back, unhooking your bra with a practiced flick, the cool air hitting your hardened nipples before his large hands cupped around them, squeezing, mouth immediately latching on one nipple. he’s been wanting to see your tits since you were locked in that tiny room. and now that he has, he sucked like he was in complete bliss, eyes shut, wet and eager, tongue messily painting your breasts. you gasp, hands coming up to grip his hair, pulling him closer as your hips continue its slow grind against his hard, clothed cock.
“fuck,” you moan, every nerve lighting up. you’re soaking through your panties, whole body vibrating. you bounce harder, using him to reach your high as he continues worshipping your breasts with his lips, trails of his saliva littering your chest. his large hands make their way to your ass, cupping and squeezing but not controlling. not yet.
he lets you hump him harder and harder, trying to control the breathy whimpers slipping from him as he busies himself in between your breasts. your breathing was getting heavier, legs starting to give out, the friction was hitting your clit so perfectly and before you knew it, your orgasm washes over you, unexpected and all-consuming.
“look at you,” he murmurs, that damn smirk back again, breath hot against your ear, “already fucked out and we haven’t even started.” before you could reply, before you could argue, he flips you in a blur, pinning you to the mattress. his eyes are dark now, dangerous.
he yanks your skirt and underwear off in one go, leaving you completely bare for him. you looked so small in between his sheets and it drives him madly insane, “i’m only gonna say this once,” he says, eyes raking over your naked body, voice rough, “but fuck, you’re hot,” he compliments, almost.
you sit up, yanking his shorts down, large cock bouncing free from the last barrier between you, “you’re okay to look at,” you smirk. he rolls his eyes and slaps your hands away before you could reach out for him as he fumbles in his nightstand drawer, pulling out a condom, tearing the foil open with his teeth and rolling it on with ease.
he lines himself in your entrance, teasing his tip, that same devilish smirk plastered on his lips.
“admit you want me,” he grunts, hovering over you, a hand placed calculatedly on your neck, enough to choke you but not enough to completely block off your airways.
“no,” you hiss. he pushes in hard. no warning. no mercy. your back arches with a gasp, hands flying to his shoulders, mouth open in a soundless moan, his hand wrapping tighter around your neck, making your eyes roll back. he’s so so thick, you can feel him all around your walls, stretching you open inch by inch. he feels so good. too good.
“hate you,” you manage to whisper in between your breathy moans, even as your legs wrap around his waist.
“yeah?,” he pants, thrusting into you hard enough to make the headboard knock the wall, “say it louder,” he orders, finally releasing the hold he had on your neck and redirecting it to your breast, large hand squeezing tightly around the supple flesh.
“i hate you,” you moan and then you’re kissing him again, biting his bottom lip, swallowing the grunts he gives you. he sets a brutal pace, every thrust punctuated by the sound of skin on skin, by the filthy words he mutters against your neck. you push him in closer, wanting more, needing more.
“you’re so fucking needy,” he pants, voice tight, desperate.
“shut up,” you growl.
“make me,” he snaps back. so you slap him again and his face twitches, a deep, devilish chuckle slipping past his lips before he pulls out, flipping you over like you weighed nothing and pulling you up on your hands and knees before thrusting into you from behind, your face buried in his pillow.
he fucks you harder. the new angle hitting that spot over and over again you swore you could feel him in your stomach.
it was chaos. it was violence in the shape of pleasure.
“fuck,” you cry, “you’re so deep, so-,” his hand lands a slap on your ass, sharp and hot, the noise echoing throughout the room, making you bite down into the sheets.
“how do you like it?,” he grunts, landing another slap, hot and red, leaving tingles all over your skin. you were sure there were bruises in the shape of his fingertips forming all over you. you’re a mess of moans and incoherent words, each thrust wrecking your thoughts, your dignity, your hate.
you should be fighting him but all you can do is beg for more, “please, please, please, haechan, d-don’t stop,” and your cries do nothing but fuel him. the room continues to echo with the slap of skin and filthy words with your name in his voice and his cock in your pussy like he was trying to break you. you lose track of how many times you say i hate you. how many times he says it back. it becomes a chant. a rhythm. a promise.
you ride that line between loathing and lust until your vision whites out, orgasm hitting you like a punch in the gut, “haechan, fuck, i’m coming!,” you scream and he grabs your hair, pulling you back against him.
“go ahead princess,” he growls, “come all over my cock.” you shatter, gasping for air, jaw hanging open, shaking, as your eyes rolled back in complete pleasure, body going limp in his arms.
haechan doesn’t stop, hellbent on proving that he could last longer than you think. he shoves a pillow under you, continuing his relentless thrusts.
“fuuuck, how are you getting tighter?,” he grits out, “your pussy fucking loves me,” he groans, each hard thrust bringing him closer to that high.
you could cry from the overstimulation, “h-haechan–t-too much,” you stutter, gripping his thigh, tears forming in the corner of your eyes.
“you can take it, princess,” he says, voice low and dark. “i know you can. be a good girl and take it,” he grunts, still pushing into you with a force that rolls the tears down your cheeks.
eventually, the pain turns into pleasure again. blurring the line until you’re moving with him, lost in the pace, the heat, the hate. he chases his own high until his rhythm started shattering into jerky, desperate thrusts, “c’mon, princess, give me one more,” he grunts and all your body could do was follow his voice, immediately tightening around him and sending you to your third orgasm of the night.
he finally gives in with a low, wrecked groan of your name, burying his face in your neck as he shudders through it, hips slowing, grounding down into you until there’s nothing left but heat and sweat and the tremble in his arms as he holds himself over you.
when he pulls out, there’s a slick, lewd sound that makes your already flushed skin go warmer, the pillow beneath you, soaking. then he collapses beside you with a sigh, one arm slung over his eyes like the weight of everything that just happened is finally catching up to him.
silence swells between you. sticky and loud and way too fucking real.
your chest is still rising and falling fast, heartbeat trying to find its regular rhythm as you try to fight off the sleep that was wanting to overtake. you were so tired, so fucked out you almost gave in but your hate was still stronger and somehow your voice cuts through the thick silence, “we’re definitely not doing that again.”
he pauses, “...right.”
you roll onto your side, head propped on your hand, glaring at him like you can set him on fire with just your eyes, “that wasn’t hesitation.” you don’t ask him. you tell him.
he peeks at you from under his arm and shrugs, unbothered, “it was dramatic timing. theater major, remember?”
you groan, flopping back on the bed, rubbing your hands over your face, “god, i really fucking hate you.”
he grins, teeth sharp and full of bite, “yeah, well your pussy doesnt.” you grab the nearest thing, his shirt, and toss it straight to his face and he lets it sit there for a moment before peeling it off with an exaggerated sigh.
“asshole,” you mutter, already reaching for your clothes. ignoring the way your body was burning, a reminder of his touch, as you start dressing like you’re gearing up for a fight, like each item is a piece of armor you’re slapping on.
he watches you dress, that grin never really leaving his face but his eyes are softer than they should be. quieter. and he doesn’t say a word as you reassemble yourself.
within minutes, you’re both back in your roles, fully clothed and composed. like the last hour never happened. like he hadn’t just made you scream his name. like you hadn’t clawed his thighs so hard there’ll probably be marks tomorrow. like he hadn’t left bruises in the shape of his lips all over your skin. like the tear stains you were sporting wasn’t evident.
you pick up your script off the edge of the bed. it’s bent now, pages wrinkled. a souvenir from the chaos you two just unleashed. neither of you acknowledge it.
“start from your cue,” you say flatly.
he leans back against the headboard, flipping lazily through the script like nothing about this is new, like his cock wasn’t just inside you, “with love’s light wings did i o’erperch these walls…”
you roll your eyes, glaring “try saying it like you don’t want to fuck me.”
“i dont want to fuck you,” he deadpans, then glances at you with a smirk, “again.”
you shoot him a look so cold it could kill. he delivers it properly this time, and you move through the scene with professional precision except for the way your voices crack at the edges, how the eye contact lingers a beat too long.
the air between you is no less charged. if anything, it’s worse now. every line feels like a double entendre. every accidental brush of fingers feels like it might ignite something again.
you finish the scene without a word about what happened. no apologies. no acknowledgments. no we shouldn’t have done that.
then you shove the script into your bag, sling it over your shoulder, and walk to the door. “you’re leaving without a goodbye?” he calls out, that cocky lilt back in his voice.
you pause. not enough to turn. just enough to make him think you might. then you say, “we’re not friends, haechan. we don’t joke around. we rehearse. that’s it.”
and you leave. down the hall, around the corner, out the front door, your pulse still racing, his scent still clinging to your skin like it’s branding you. your body aching with the memory of his mouth, his hands, his body.
back in his room, haechan stares at the closed door. the tension in the air still hasn’t left. he sighs, eyes trailing back to the script. he lets it drop from his hand, the pages flopping limply to the floor. then he throws himself back against the mattress like he’s trying to forget the way you felt. the way you sounded.
his body still buzzes. his mind’s a goddamn storm. he drags a hand through his hair and covers his eyes with his arm again, “what the fuck did I just do?”
he’d told himself this was about getting you out of his system. that one fuck would fix it. but now? now you’re under his skin in a way he doesn’t know how to undo. every nerve remembers you. every inch of him aches for you. and every second since you walked out that door feels empty.
he groans to the ceiling, voice thick with frustration and something he won’t name. “well,” he mutters, sarcasm soaked in something bitter, “that worked great.”
ཐིཋྀ the fifth week of rehearsals
it’s been a week since the night that didn’t mean anything. you’d both agreed. no repeats. one time. clean slate. but the slate wasn’t clean. it was cracked and humming with everything you weren’t supposed to feel.
you’re on stage now, under the harsh fluorescents of the theater department’s rehearsal room, with your script in one hand and your heart lodged somewhere in your throat.
the scene is simple. romeo flirts. juliet flirts back. they kiss. easy. you’ve done kissing scenes a thousand times in other productions. but now? now your body remembers the exact weight of him. how he sounds when he groans. how he says your name like a sin he’s proud of committing.
mr. doyoung looks up, “let’s take it from romeo’s line, build the moment, don’t rush it.”
haechan nods, exhales, and steps into character, “have not saint lips, and holy palmers too?” his eyes are on you and it's not romeo’s gaze. it’s haechan’s. intense. knowing. annoyingly smug. feeding his line like nothing happened between you.
he leans in, perfectly in character as you follow through, finding juliet’s voice with ease, “ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”
“o, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, gran thou, lest faith turn to despair,” he continues, both of you smoothly moving through the stage, dancing around each other’s bodies.
“saints do not move, though grant for prayer’s sake,” you deliver the line perfectly, professionally.
“then move not, while my prayer’s effect i take,” he murmurs, inching the space closer and closer, twirling you around in his arms, and finally kissing you like his life depended on it . like he couldn’t wait a single second for this moment. completely capturing romeo’s yearning spirit.
and it’s evident as day that your body remembers everything from that night.
the kiss goes on a beat too long and for a second you almost forget you were in the middle of a scene until he’s in character again, “thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.”
“then have my lips the sin they have took,” you respond immediately. his eyes flicker to yours and you see it. he remembers too. every second of it.
“sin from my lips? o trespass sweetly urged!,” he continues, leaning in once again, following the script perfectly, “give me my sin again,” he says, placing a sweet kiss on your lips. all too different from the kisses you’ve shared before.
“you kiss by th’ book,” you end the scene as his lips travel down your neck, igniting that heat in your stomach. mr. doyoung was taking his sweet time yelling out cut. you can feel haechan’s smirk against your neck and it’s taking everything in you to not end the scene yourself.
mr. doyoung rises from his chair, clapping slowly, and finally yelling out the one word you needed to breathe. you both jump back immediately like touching each other burned.
“there it is,” he says, “my romeo and juliet,” he dramatically wipes a fake tear from his eyes, “absolutely beautiful. from the top!,” he says excitedly and all you could do was follow his directions. pretending every single touch isn’t affecting you way more than you would ever admit.
you’re not losing this battle. not letting him know that the one time one fuck proposal didn’t work. and haechan, sure as hell, isn't backing down either.
♕
THE BIGGEST, MOST ANTICIPATED PARTY OF THE YEAR: HALLOWEEN NIGHT @ THE DREAM FRATERNITY
haechan scans the room, it was their busiest party of the year. the most chaotic, most fun, most prepared party he and the boys ever have to plan. and now the dream house is packed with costumes, glitter, smoke, chaos. he’s dressed as some version of a vampire, sexy but not too much, his funny, charming side taking over.
he spots mark and kitten across the room, near the couch, in their spiderman and black cat costumes, trying, and failing, to do the spiderman kiss. there was jaemin and angel groping each other on the dance floor wearing matching hermione and ron costumes and in the corner in the back near the kitchen was jeno and bunny caught in a heated makeout session with their ash and pikachu costumes on. and yes, jeno is pikachu.
and then you walked in. he knew you would be here. it was the only dream party you attended because everyone attends it. it was either this or spending the night alone, watching scary movies by yourself.
you were dressed in a lacy red devil’s costume leaving no room for imagination. he shouldn’t even be looking at you. but he is. and his eyes zero in on the faint marks that were blooming on the exposed skin of your breasts. you didn’t even care that people saw them. but he knew you would have if people knew that those marks came from his lips.
he feels his pants tighten in his jeans. he really needed to get a good fuck. maybe it’ll stop you from plaguing his mind.
“can’t believe i’m part of the singles fuck boy club,” renjun says, snapping him out of the trance you trapped him in.
haechan smirks, “take it as a win,” he takes a sip from his drink, “more ladies for us,” he winks, just as jisung and chenle walked up to them.
“so, who do you have your eyes on tonight?,” chenle asks, a smirk on his lips.
haechan chuckles, looking around, his eyes glossing over your figure for a second before they land on the girl he’s been trying to get with since the first party of this year, “ryujin,” he smirks. ryujin – dance major, one of the university’s best.
“how about you, my little protege?,” haechan asks, turning his attention to jisung, the rest of the boys awaiting his answer.
jisung smirks, already knowing the answer, “wonyoung.”
renjun’s jaw drops, “jisung, she might be a freshman but she’s completely out of your league.”
jisung just chuckles, haechan chuckling with him, “hey, don’t doubt my boy,” he says before patting jisung in the back, “just remember everything mark and i taught you,” he winks before jisung took a shot and disappeared into the crowd.
“his head is getting bigger, you know,” renjun rolls his eyes.
“that’s fine, let him have his fun,” chenle says, “now let’s go find you a girl so you’re not so grumpy all the time,” he drags renjun out of there, leaving haechan to fend for himself, a smirk still playing on his lips. and he can’t help it. his eyes dart back to your figure.
across the room, he sees you laughing, too close, too bright, with some guy he doesn’t recognize. the guy’s in some lazy pirate costume, leaning in like he knows you. like he’s already been invited in and something in his stomach turns. something about you looking that comfortable makes him want to throw the nearest pumpkin straight at his head.
he remembers a time when he was privileged enough to hear your laugh. to make you laugh. to laugh together until your ribs were sore.
he absolutely hates it — the way that memory has been popping up in his head like a haunted time loop. he thought he got rid of it, buried it somewhere deep, he wouldn’t have been able to find it. but just a couple weeks with you and all his work for the last five years go down the drain.
he forces himself to look away, making his way over to ryujin, dressed up as bella from twilight. oh, this was going to be too easy.
“hey pretty, you looking for me?,” he interrupts the conversation she was having with another guy, smoothly and all so charming, the way he usually is.
ryujin lets out a giggle, “hmm, i could’ve sworn i was talking to another vampire,” she says, voice sultry and deep with desire.
“none of those vampires can compare to me,” he winks playfully, cocky as ever. and that was all it took before ryujin was pulling him down for a kiss.
he lets his mouth move against hers, hot and fast, but completely hollow. she tastes like candy, vodka and sticky lip gloss, her hands gripping at his arms like she owns him. his mouth is probably smeared with red now, and she moans like it means something.
but to him, it means absolutely nothing.
there’s no fire. no heat. no pulse-racing thrill behind it. no push and pull. no sharp banter humming beneath the surface. he was making out with a girl he’s been trying to get with since the first party of this year and all he could think about was how different it was from kissing you.
god, you were so fucking irritating.
he opens his eyes in the middle of the kiss, and to his unfortunate luck, he makes direct eye contact with you. across the room, half hidden in shadows and flashing lights, your gaze is locked on him but there’s no challenge there. no eye-roll. no smirk. nothing that makes you, you. just eerie blankness, almost like you were looking through him.
something’s wrong.
he pulls back abruptly, ryujin still chasing his lips with a frustrated sound. “give me a second,” he mutters before completely leaving her standing there on her own. an angry scoff follows him as he pushes through the crowd, all of his attention zeroed in on you.
he walks across the room, watching your every move. you’re swaying a little. not like you’re dancing. like your balance is off, disconnected from gravity, from control. the look in your eyes is unresponsive and you’re blinking so incredibly slow. and the pirate is still right next to you, standing way too close.
his hand lands on your waist. then he presses a kiss on the side of your neck and haechan moves through the crowd like a storm, pushing everyone out of his way.
he grips the guy’s shirt and yanks him back, stepping between you and him like a wall of fire. he grabs your wrist, grounding you, voice low but unshakeable, “we’re leaving.”
you blink up at him like you’re seeing the sun for the first time, “donghyuck?,” you smile softly, too sweetly, and it takes everything in him to not kill the guy who did this to you.
“did you drink something?,” he asks, firm but gentle. you nod slowly, lips parted like you’re stuck in a delayed reaction. he brings the cup to his nose – fruity, sticky-sweet but there’s something else. something chemical. and then he sees it, the powdery film at the bottom, confirming his prediction.
his stomach drops. rage coils in his gut. he grabs the drink, tossing the liquid in the nearest plant and fists a hand in the guy’s shirt before shoving him backward, “touch her again and i’ll break your fucking face,” he seethes. the guy stumbles back, arms raised like he’s innocent.
mark notices the commotion before anyone else does, quickly stepping in, kitten by his side with wide, concerned eyes, “dude, what’s happening?,” he speaks low and in control.
“he drugged her,” he growls into his ear. mark’s eyes widen, sharp and alert “i’ll handle him. you take care of her,” he says.
haechan’s attention was back on you in an instant. your balance is off, feet shifting clumsily, eyes blinking slow and unfocused, pupils dilated.
he crouches slightly so he’s at eye level, “hey, come with me, okay?,” he says softly. you lift your head to look at him, your lips parting into a dreamy, dazed smile. you manage to nod once before your body gives out, knees buckling, weight tipping forward. haechan catches you before you can even fall. you land into him like you were meant to be there, cheeks pressed to his chest, body in his arms.
you giggle softly, the sound barely audible over the music. it’s airy. almost innocent. it breaks his heart in two.
“warm,” you mumble into his shirt. “you’re so warm, hyuck.”
his heart squeezes painfully, trying to push away that all too familiar feeling of his nickname on your tongue. the nickname you gave him. the way it sounds so soft as if somewhere in the haze and fog in your brain, some part of you knows you’re safe with him.
without a word, he lifts you into his arms bridal style. your arms immediately wrap around his neck, hands clinging like he’s your lifeline.
“up we go,” he says softly, carrying you through the house, ignoring every curious stare, every muttered comment.
you nuzzle closer, relaxing into his body like it’s familiar, lips brushing his jaw, and he nearly stumbles, “you smell so good…why do you smell so good…?”
he hides his smirk. you told him he smelled like axe just a week ago. “because i shower, dumbass,” he mutters. the insult wasn’t needed but hey, he can’t help it.
in his room, he kicks the door shut with his foot, setting you gently on the bed.
but you don’t let go.
your hands are still on him, clutching his shoulders, his shirt, anything. you whine when he tries to pull back, “nooo, hyuck, don’t go,” you pout like a child.
your breath fans against his neck, lips brushing so close to his skin that he shivers, “need you…” you whisper, almost too faint to catch. it guts him. he carefully pulls back just enough to look at you, his hand coming up to cradle your cheek and your eyes flutter open, slow and unfocused, but locked on him.
and then you lean in. soft. uncertain. your lips part slightly, tilting toward his like muscle memory.
and his heart lurches. he wants it, god, does he want it. but not like this. not when you’re not fully you. not when you won’t remember. not when it would feel like taking. so he stops you.
he leans back, gently pressing his fingers to your lips, “hey,” he says quietly, “not right now.”
you blink, confused. hurt flickers across your face, “but i want—”
“i know,” he whispers, brushing your hair out of your face with heartbreaking tenderness. “but you’re not… you’re not okay right now. you’re not thinking clearly and you’re gonna hate me even more if i let you do this.”
you stare at him for a long moment, your expression folding into something soft, something fractured. your voice comes out barely audible, “you always ruin everything.”
he lets out a quiet breath through his nose, crouching down to your eye level again, “yeah,” he murmurs, “i’m really good at that.”
you’re trembling now, whether from the drug or emotion he can’t tell. he reaches for the edge of his hoodie draped over his desk chair. then he coaxes you out of your costume.
you let him take care of you.
he slips the oversized hoodie over your head in an instant. it swallows you whole, falling to mid-thigh, sleeves engulfing your hands, covering more than your costume ever did. then he grabs a pair of his clean sweatpants and helps you step into them, rolling the waistband until they don’t fall off.
“there,” he murmurs, tugging the hood up over your head, “much better,” and seeing you in his clothes makes his heart skip a beat.
you blink up at him, dazed and warm, “smells like you.”
he chuckles softly, “well, that’s cause it’s mine, princess” he says, the nickname landing so gently he’s almost glad you won't remember this. he guides you back on the bed, his hands warm and careful on your shoulders, like he’s afraid you’ll break. you lay down like a sleepy cat, limbs loose, fingers curling into the fabric of his hoodie.
he crouches in front of you, steady and patient, watching you with an unreadable expression. the room is dim, hushed, wrapped in the kind of silence that comes right after chaos.
then you say it. quiet. barely there. like a secret.
“i didn’t want to hate you.”
his breath catches. he wanted to ask so why do you?
he’s never figured out. why things between you turned so bitter. why you suddenly started twisting a knife behind his back. and why he grabbed that knife and pointed it at you. but he know it’s wrong to get information out of you in this state. not when your eyes are glassy, your words a half-conscious confession spilling out like a secret you didn’t mean to say. you’re too far gone to argue. too soft to lie.
you’re still looking at him, but your eyelids are heavier now. the words just fall from your lips, unguarded. honest in a way you never let yourself be sober, “you made it so easy sometimes though” you murmur, the corners of your mouth tilting in something that’s not quite a smile, not quite pain, “being loud. being cocky. saying shit you didn’t mean just to piss me off…”
his heart is thudding so loud he’s sure you can hear it. there’s so much he wants to say. apologies, defenses, explanations. but before he can say anything, your body shifts, sinks into the pillow, limbs going limp as your breath evens out and your eyes flutter shut.
you’re asleep. just like that.
haechan stays kneeling beside the bed, frozen in place. his gaze traces the soft furrow of your brow, the way your lips part slightly as you breathe. he wonders if you’ll remember any of this tomorrow. if you’ll pretend it never happened. if you’ll regret letting your walls down for even a second.
“i didn’t want to hate you either,” he whispers, voice barely audible over your breathing.
there’s a pause. a longer silence.
“i don’t even know why i hate you,” he admits, softer still. but you’re already gone.
and yet, he stays beside you a little longer, resting his head on the edge of the mattress, eyes never leaving yours, like if he just watches long enough, maybe he’ll figure out where it all went wrong.
♕
the morning light filters through the curtains. everything is quiet. too quiet.
you stir slowly, the ache in your head blooming behind your eyes like a storm cloud. your limbs are heavy, your mouth dry and your body is wrapped around a warmth that doesn’t belong to your bed.
it takes a second for the fog in your mind to lift, but when it does, your heart skips.
you’re not in your room. you’re in his. and he’s right there – lying beside you, one arm flung over his eyes, hair tousled, chest rising and falling with deep, even breaths of someone who stayed up way too late.
you freeze. every part of you tenses as your gaze darts down to your body — hoodie and sweatpants, both way too big, wrapped around you. you exhale in quiet, stunned relief, but your heart is still pounding, “what the hell?” you whisper, rubbing your temples.
at the sound of your voice, he stirs, groaning, blinking against the light like it personally offended him then his eyes land on you.
“you’re up,” he rasps, voice thick with sleep. he stretches lazily like he doesn’t feel the full weight of your stare on him. “you okay?”
you blink, “why am i here?”
“you were drugged,” he says plainly. no softening. no sugar-coating. “some guy slipped something in your drink.”
the room tilts. you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to recollect memories from last night. the fear of what could’ve happened gnaws at your insides.
“i got you out before anything happened,” he adds quietly, “you were… not yourself. clingy. slurring. said i smelled nice, for some reason,” there’s a light, teasing tone in his voice.
you shoot him a glare, despite the pounding in your head, “you do not smell nice.”
he grins faintly, because of course, even now, all you could do was insult him, and it was all he needed to know that you were safe and back to normal, “okay, sure.”
silence stretches between you as you sit up slowly, piecing together flickers of last night. the music, the lights, that sickly sweet drink. the guy in the pirate costume. then — the warmth. the voice you’d know even half-conscious. you glance down at the hoodie you’re drowning in. his scent is faint but still there.
“you changed me?,” you ask, eyes wide.
he nods, propping himself up on one elbow, “you were half-passed out. you needed to sleep it off. i didn’t look, i swear. i just helped.”
you believe him. strangely, you do, “thank you.”
he raises an eyebrow like he wasn’t expecting that.
“you’re welcome,” he says, softer now, “just… be more careful next time, okay?”
you look away, the words settling heavy between you, “i didn’t think…”
“exactly,” he cuts in, voice gentle but tired, “you didn’t. that’s how shit like that happens.” his tone isn’t cruel. he’s not scolding you. he’s just…tired. and worried. and probably more scared last night than he’d ever admit.
you nod once. that’s all you can manage. you don’t want to admit how safe you felt. how it was his arms you clung to. how your body trusted him even when your brain was compromised.
but none of that changes anything.
you clear your throat, “well, thanks. but… that doesn’t mean anything is different between us.”
the faintest flicker crosses his face, unreadable, before it’s gone.
“didn’t say it did,” he says simply. then, “you hungry?”
you blink, “what?”
“i make a decent hangover ramen,” he says, already swinging his legs out of bed, “and i’ll even throw in some kimchi, if you promise not to puke on my carpet.”
you roll your eyes, “you’re such a dumbass.”
he shoots you a crooked smile. “yeah, but not as dumb as you, princess.”
you don’t respond. you just sit there in his bed, swimming in his clothes and your own confusion, watching him move through his room like this was the most normal morning in the world. you slip your shoes back on without a word, still wearing his hoodie and sweats. your costume’s somewhere in a pile on his desk chair, but there’s no way in hell you’re putting that back on. not after last night.
you follow haechan into the kitchen, as he hums some stupid melody, reaching for the pan and boiling the water. you stand awkwardly in the doorway, arms crossed over your chest like it’ll hide how massive his hoodie is on you.
he glances up, “you gonna sit down?”
you shake your head, “i just…i should go.”
he doesn’t fight you on it. just nods, quietly preparing the packs of instant noodles.
you turn to leave but stop short. three of the dream boys are coming down the stairs. they freeze in the hallway when they see you. so do you. the room goes dead silent and you look like a deer caught in headlights. his hoodie feels ten times heavier now, your legs bare in his sweatpants, and your hair a mess from sleep. you look like everything they think happened.
renjun raises a brow, “morning…”
jisung coughs loudly, trying to hide his grin.
chenle looks at haechan, who appears behind you a second later, “really?” he mouths, and haechan shoots him a deadly glare, the kind that says shut up without a single word.
but it’s too late. they all recognize you. of course they do. you’re not just any girl. you’re the girl — the one who’s made haechan stomp through the front door ranting and raving more times than any of them can count. the one whose name used to spark an automatic groan from someone in the room. the one who once made haechan so mad he slammed a door clean off its hinge, then spent two hours denying it had anything to do with you – you’re a household legend. a walking migraine. the ongoing war he never seemed to win but kept returning to like clockwork.
so to see you, standing in their house, in his clothes, the morning after the biggest party of the year is definitely strange. you look like you spent the night tangled up in something intimate. something that doesn’t match the version of events they’ve heard a hundred times over.
the air goes stiff with curiosity and thinly veiled amusement. you straighten your back, refusing to flinch, “nothing happened.”
“sure,” jisung says, not even trying to hide the smirk.
“seriously,” you snap, “i got drugged and he just…helped me.”
renjun tilts his head, worry flashing over all of their features “you good?”
you pause, then nod, “yeah. i’m good.”
haechan steps beside you, voice casual but firm. “she’s telling the truth.”
his words shock you. you were half expecting him to stay quiet.
then you feel the shift in the room like a breeze that slips through a cracked window. they move on, the scent of the ramen calling out to them like moths drawn to the light. you continue your path toward the front door, haechan follows, footsteps soft behind you like a shadow that doesn’t want to overstep.
you reach for the door then pause, glancing over your shoulder, “thanks,” you say again, quieter this time, it slips out like a confession.
his eyes meet yours, steady and unreadable “anytime.”
and somehow, you know he means it. not in the casual way people toss that word around — you see it in the way his posture doesn’t shift, in the way he doesn’t look away, in the quiet steel under his tone. you knew that if it happened again, god forbid, it would be him again. coming to your rescue. without hesitation. without conditions.
something in your chest cracks. not from last night, not from the near-miss or the weight of fear. but from a memory. a time in the past, years ago, that you shoved deep into the vault of things too painful to touch.
♕
as soon as the front door clicks shut behind you, silence settles over the house for a beat. then it erupts.
jisung is the first to crack, “bro,” he looks up at haechan, gaping, as they all sat in the kitchen, “what happened to i hate her so much i’d rather die than be caught with her?’”
renjun chokes on his coffee, suppressing his amusement, “no, no, i think it was more like, if i ever even breathe the same air as her willingly, just kill me,” he says, mocking his friend.
chenle snorts, a playful smirk on his lips, “do we kill you now or later?”
haechan doesn’t even bother trying to defend himself. he just drops his head back with a groan and laughs, loud and shameless, the sound echoing off the kitchen walls, “you guys are so annoying.”
“not as annoying as the fact that she left wearing your clothes,” chenle says, waggling his eyebrows, “your hoodie, dude. the hoodie. the one you said no one’s allowed to borrow because it’s your emotional support layer.’”
“she needed clothes,” haechan says, rolling his eyes and grabbing bowls from the cabinet, like none of it was a big deal. like you didn’t just crack down all the years of hate with one simple call of his name.
“what, i was supposed to let her wander the streets in a lingerie looking like she escaped from a halloween thirst trap?”
renjun squints at him, mock-serious, “you’re in love.”
this elicits a groan from jisung, “oh god, not another one…the other three literally makes me want to vomit.”
haechan rolls his eyes, “i’m not in love.”
“sure,” chenle and renjun say in unison, like a damn choir.
“okay, first of all,” haechan says, gritting his teeth, holding up a finger, “i don’t even like her.”
“uh-huh,” chenle says, “that’s why you stayed up all night babysitting her and making sure she didn’t die.”
“oh my god, did you tuck her in?,” renjun asks.
“i didn’t tuck her in! she just…passed out, and i put a pillow under her head like a civilized human being!,” he reasons out, “plus it’s our party, she’s our responsibility,” he says seriously.
that silences them for half a second. just long enough for his words to land, “yeah, okay,” jisung says squinting, “but you could’ve just called one of her friends to bring her home, not spend the party of the year taking care of her…i mean ryujin was right there!”
haechan slams the ramen bowls down on the counter, harder than necessary, but not quite angry. just exasperated. like he’s been circling this same conversation in his own head since sunrise.
“fine. okay. whatever. you guys win,” he mutters.
there’s a pause, then jisung leans forward, eyes wide with mock innocence, voice pure mischief, “so you do like her?”
“i loathe her,” haechan says with a perfectly straight face, “can’t stand her. makes my blood boil. hate her so much i—”
“—gave her your bed, made her ramen she didn’t even eat, and threatened chenle with your eyes,” renjun finishes without missing a beat, sipping his coffee like he’s watching the best drama of the year unfold in real time.
chenle throws in a lazy, “don’t forget the hoodie,” for good measure.
haechan snorts, “you guys suck.”
they dissolve into laughter around him, loud and chaotic and full of affection. and haechan doesn’t stop them. because deep down, he knows they’re not wrong.
something is changing. cracking open. he felt it when he heard you say his name, all light and smiles like it was genuinely directed at him. he felt it when he saw you asleep in his bed, curled into his hoodie like it was the only safe place in the world. he felt it when your voice cracked saying thank you.
and now that feeling is lodged somewhere between his ribs, sharp and impossible to ignore. but he’s not ready to name it. not yet. so he grins, serves the ramen, and lets the teasing continue, pretending it’s just another morning with his idiot friends.
ཐིཋྀ the sixth week of rehearsals
rehearsals resume like nothing happened. like there wasn’t a near assault. like you didn’t sleep in his bed. like he didn’t stay up all night watching you breathe just to make sure you were okay — but of course, something has changed.
you still bicker. constantly. relentlessly. but it’s not as sharp now. not as mean. it’s irritation tinged with something unspoken. something softer.
mr. doyoung claps his hands, excited and ready. his vision of romeo and juliet when he casted you both slowly coming to life, “okay, let’s do the balcony scene!” the same scene you two could never get through before.
you climb up the makeshift balcony without any further instructions, the rickety platform still wobbling under your feet like it did during the first week. haechan stands below, glancing up just as you grip the railing and start juliet’s lines again, voice laced with practiced longing, “o romeo, o romeo, wherefore art thou–”
before you could finish your line. a crack echoes throughout the stage. it happens fast. the board beneath you splits, you were falling through, a flash of panic in your eyes as you unsuccessfully tried to grip on to whatever you could find.
haechan lunges forward, catching you mid fall with a grunt as your body collapses into his. you hit the ground hard, him first then you crashing into his chest with a force that knocks the air out of your breaths. chaos erupts. voices shouting. mr. doyoung yelling for someone to call the campus’ nurse. a cast member swearing in the background. but haechan doesn’t hear any of it. all he sees is you. your face twisting in pain as you try to sit up, only to wince and clutch your ankle.
“don’t move,” he says quickly, arms tightening around you, “just, stay still.”
“i’m fine,” you mutter through gritted teeth.
“you’re not fine, you idiot,” his voice cracks at the edges. more panic than anger. he shifts carefully, helping you sit upright before reaching down to gently examine your ankle. you hiss when he touches it. he flinches like it hurts him.
“swollen,” he mutters, “probably a sprain,” he says seriously. the kind of serious you’ve never seen him before.
“oh my god, relax, i’m not dying,” you say, managing a breathless laugh.
he glares at you, “you fell off a stage ten feet high. that’s not nothing.”
“yeah. and you saved me. again,” your eyes narrow playfully, “what are you…my guardian angel now?”
“more like your full-time babysitter,” he snaps, but his voice is too soft to land.
“you care too much,” you tease.
“and you scare me too much,” he says, barely louder than a whisper but your heart still races and you’re not too sure if it’s the adrenaline or if it’s him — the crew surrounds you, someone finally arrives with ice and a first-aid kit. mr. doyoung is talking a mile a minute about liability and structural integrity and someone offers to help carry you to the nurse’s office but you wave them off.
“i’ve got him,” you say, jerking your chin toward haechan who still hasn’t taken his hands off you. he doesn’t even argue. just helps you to your feet, arm around your waist, guiding you slowly off the stage as you limp beside him.
no one says it. not you. not him. not any of the wide-eyed castmates watching the two of you walk away like something’s finally cracked open. but they all feel it. something has changed.
♕
the clinic smells like antiseptic and lemon cleaner. you sit stiffly on the padded bed, ankle propped up with a wrapped ice pack, waiting for the nurse —haechan’s right beside you, knee bouncing restlessly like he can’t stand seeing you in pain, “you need anything?,” he asks, voice gentler than it has any right to be, “water? painkillers? i can steal some candy from the front desk if that helps.”
you glance at him, lips parting, then closing. because that tone. that face. that tenderness you never asked for. it reminds you of before. the haechan who sat side by side with you, eating convenience store snacks, watching clouds drift by, sharing a wired earphone like you had all the time in the world. the haechan who walked you home without ever saying why. who pretended he didn’t like mamma mia! but knew every lyric by heart. the haechan who was loud and stupid and kind and yours. before everything fell apart.
the nurse finally walks in and checks your ankle. haechan stays seated in the plastic chair next to you, leg still bouncing as you listen to her instructions. when she finally leaves with a parting, “just rest it for a few days,” silence rushes in to fill the space.
you exhale slowly, “can you stop bouncing your leg? you heard her, it’s a minor sprain, i’ll live.” you can’t help but roll your eyes. he was being too dramatic. too caring.
“you scared the hell out of me,” he blurts, like the words have been clawing their way up his throat all afternoon.
you look at him, surprised by his bluntness, “i’m fine, haechan.”
“you weren’t fine when the stage gave out under you,” he snaps.
your mouth opens. closes. he keeps stealing the words right out of you. then he shifts, shoulders straighter, spine tighter.
“you said something last week,” he says, voice low, barely above a whisper “when you were half-asleep.”
his fingers tighten in his lap. the campus’ clinic is probably the wrong place for this conversation, but it’s been gnawing at him ever since you walked out of the dream house. and now it’s too big to hold in.
“you said you didn’t want to hate me,” you go incredibly still. so still it’s like your whole body locks up. the air in the room changes. you keep staring at the floor like the white tiles might split open and swallow you whole. of course you remember. curse your memory for never ever letting you forget anything, even when you beg it to. even drugged and half-conscious, everything from that night came back to you throughout moments in the week. like you’d be taking a shower and you’d remember the way you fell into his arms and called out his name or when you were eating lunch and the memory of you reaching out to him, trying to kiss him, hits the back of your head, making you cringe.
“so?,” you forced a breath through your nose. it comes out sharper than you mean it to but you don’t deny it.
“so i want to know,” he swallows, his voice is softer now, “why did you start?”
the silence that follows is thick. suffocating. haechan swears the wall inched closer with every second you don’t answer.
“i’ve been trying to figure it out for years,” he says, voice fraying, “what i did. why you started treating me like i was nothing. why you iced me out like i didn’t matter. like i never did.”
you lift your gaze, slow and deliberate and it hits him. not like a punch, but like a car crash. like every part of him is thrown forward, lungs emptied, heart shattered. there’s a grief in your expression he’s never seen before. not even on stage. this is real. too real.
and he waits. like he always used to. back when the two of you were something – not dating, not together, but something solid. something warm. something unshakeable. the kind of friends who stayed behind after rehearsal just to talk. the kind of friends who knew each other’s favorite snacks, who shared playlists and secrets and inside jokes no one else understood. the kind of friends that felt like home.
“don't you remember?” you finally ask, voice quiet, flat, tired.
haechan frowns, “remember what?”
you laugh bitterly, “of course you don’t.” a pause. a breath. a blade. “it wasn’t your name they were writing on the bathroom stalls.”
he sits up, straighter, alarmed, “what?”
“the closet. junior year of high school. you remember that?”
“of course i do,” he says immediately, “we were locked in there for what? half an hour?”
“forty-three minutes,” you reply, sharp as glass. and suddenly the memory slams into both of you — the closet during the winter play production of beauty and the beast. an accidental lock-in during prop duty, the two of you stuck in the cramped space. too much closeness. too many unspoken things. breath catching in your throat.
nothing happened – but by morning, it didn’t matter.
“you told everyone we hooked up,” you say flatly, “that night in the prop closet. you let them believe it.”
haechan’s whole face shifts, like someone just knocked the air out of his lungs, “y/n, i never said anything, i didn’t even–,”
“you didn’t correct anyone,” you cut him off, the memory still holding as much pain as it did before, “and then the rumors started, people were whispering about me in the hallways. calling me easy. and you just smiled and laughed and acted like it was funny,” your voice cracks and you hate that it does.
“what?,” his voice rises, he looks horrified. shaken. like the floor dropped out beneath him, “no, i didn’t know–”
you turn to him now, eyes blazing, every buried wound rising to the surface, “you let me take the fall. you let them slut-shame me into the ground and when i needed you to shut it down, you disappeared.”
he stares at you like something is shattering behind his eyes. he remembered that moment so differently.
“i thought you hated me because we almost kissed,” he says slowly, as if saying it aloud unearths something, “because i leaned in and i thought i ruined it by misreading everything. so when you started ignoring me, i thought i deserved it.”
you stare at him. your whole chest aches.
“i didn’t know they were calling you names,” he says, “if i had known, i would’ve–,”
“you were laughing with your stupid friends in the hallway,” you snap, tears burning behind your eyes, “smirking when someone made a joke. you didn’t care.”
“i did care!,” he fires back, voice breaking, “i was freaking out! i liked you! okay?,” the confession lingers in the air like smoke and all you could do was stare at him, eyes wide.
“—i liked you. and i didn’t know what to do with it and when people started assuming we were a thing, i….i liked it,” he breathes out.
you blink at him. silent. stunned. speechless.
“i was selfish,” he admits, quieter now, shame flooding his expression, “i got caught up in the idea of you and me and i didn’t realize you were paying the price.”
your expression cracks, disbelief twisting with heartbreak, “but you stopped talking to me,” you whisper, “i thought maybe you just saw me the same way that everyone else did.”
his head shakes desperately, over and over, “no. never.”
the silence afterwards is brutal, wrapping around the two of you like barbed wire. “i didn’t know how to fix it,” he breaks helplessly, each word torn straight from the center of his chest, “you looked at me like i was poison. like just being near you made everything worse. so i stopped trying. i didn’t want to make it harder for you.”
he paused, his voice going quieter, tighter, “you hated me so easily. or at least…that’s what i thought. after a while i convinced myself that maybe that’s what you always wanted and it hurt so i decided to hate you back.”
your jaw clenches. you look away, not because you don’t want to see him but because you can’t. because if you do, you might fall apart completely. haechan leans in. voice shaking. his hand tremble slightly where they rest on the edge of the bed, “but i never stopped thinking about you,” he says like he’s been dying to say it, “not once. and if i could go back, if i could take it all back, i would,” his voice cracks, “i don’t care if we’re supposed to be bitter enemies, if that’s the story everyone loves to believe now. i never wanted to lose you,” his hand twitches in his lap, “and i’m sorry y/n, i am so, so fucking sorry,” he finishes softly, voice filled with raw honesty.
you don’t say anything but your silence isn’t angry now. and the tears slip, silent and slow, dripping down your cheeks like memories you can’t scrub away. those were the words you’ve been aching to hear for years. he brings a hand up your face, slowly, carefully, tentatively like you might flinch. but you don’t. his fingertips graze your skin, carefully brushing away the tear that’s already fallen, thumb tracing the curve of your cheek like it’s sacred.
“please,” he whispers, “let me fix it. let me try. we don’t have to be anything big. just…let me be your friend again. i’ll do anything,” his voice breaks at the end and this time it’s desperation.
you say nothing for a long moment. instead, you look at him, really look. and it’s strange. the way grief can sit beside adoration. the way familiarity can hurt as much as it comforts. because you see the boy who made you laugh until your ribs hurt. the boy who stole your last gummy bear and shared his hoodie. the boy who would watch all your favorite movies with you. the boy who memorized all your favorite songs just so you could sing them together. but you also see the boy who stood by and let the world tear you apart. the boy you’ve spent the last five years resenting.
you see all of him. and for a moment, it makes it hard to breathe.
“i felt so alone,” you say at last, your voice so quiet, “you were my best friend and then overnight, it was like i didn’t exist to you. and every time i looked at you, i just kept thinking, why wasn’t i worth defending?”
he makes a pained sound, like the question cuts deeper than anything else. like he couldn’t forgive his own self for the hurt he put you through.
“i kept waiting,” you go on, quieter now, “for you to say something. to explain. to pull me aside and say hey, i didn’t mean for it to go like that. i didn't mean for it to hurt you. but you never did.”
haechan nods, small and slow, his shoulders hunched in shame. he doesn’t argue. doesn’t defend. he just takes every word like he knows he deserves it. another silence passes but this one feels different. lighter, maybe…sadder, definitely.
his gaze flickers to the pillow behind you as if looking at you now is too much. like if he sees the tears on your cheeks, he might start crying himself and never stop. you wipe at your face with the back of your sleeve, sniffling through a shaky breath “i don't know if i can be your friend again…not like before,” you say honestly and you see how the words break him. his chest rises too fast. his mouth parts like he wants to beg. he nods again, visibly swallowing, like he’s choking on all the apologies he can’t say fast enough.
“but,” you add softly, “i think i’m tired of hating you, too.”
his eyes meet yours, something flickering in them. fragile. hope.
“i think…,” you whisper, “maybe i want to know who you are now,” you add and he lets out a breath like he’s been holding it for years. like your words cracked a dam and let him come up for air for the first time in forever.
and then you say the words that make something shift in the air, make the angels sing all around him. “we could try,” you murmur, “not going back but maybe starting over?”
his lips part. body stills, afraid he had just imagined it, “you mean it?,” he whispers, voice trembling.
and the sound of his old nickname, your nickname for him, cracks something wide open in his chest. a broken, stunned smile pulls at his lips, trembles with disbelief. like just hearing it makes him feel alive again.
he nods, eyes wet, heart in his hands, “i won’t,” he says, “i swear, i won’t.”
ཐིཋྀ the seventh week of rehearsals
it starts quietly. no grand announcement. no dramatic reconciliation that leaves the audience gasping. just…a shift. a subtle recalibration in the air.
you walk into rehearsal, script tucked under your arm. you aren’t bracing yourself like you usually do. there’s no adrenaline-fueled armor laced tight around your spine. you just simply walk in, the same way you would if haechan wasn’t there.
and when you spot him across the room, lounging in one of the chairs, thumb lazily scrolling through his phone, something inside you clicks into a different gear. you don’t look through him like he’s invisible. you don’t burn holes into him with your glare. you just look and then…you nod. barely anything. but he sees it. his thumb stills. his head lifts. he meets your gaze. there’s no tension in his shoulders, no spark of challenge in his eyes. and then he nods back. just as slight. just as careful.
to the untrained eye, nothing monumental has happened. but to the handful of castmates who have witnessed your years-long cold war with the icy stares, the sarcastic jabs, the tension so thick it warped the air – it’s seismic. everyone curious as to what happened in the nurse’s clinic.
a pause ripples through the room. like someone's holding their breath. and then…he smiles. not the cocky, smug grin he used to toss your way like a dare. not the smirk that usually meant he was about to say something that would make you want to throw your script at his head. no. this one is soft, small, a little uneven. the kind of smile you give a stray cat you’re hoping won’t run away.
you feel the tug of something low in your stomach, not butterflies, not quite. just movement, a flicker. and your lips twitch into an answering curve. not a full smile. but not nothing.
one of your castmates, also one of your best friends, yujin, jolts so hard she drops her script with a thud that echoes louder than it should. no one helps to pick it up, everyone too busy watching the apocalypse unfold in real time. you pretend not to notice the stares. instead, you slide into your usual seat and flip open your script like it’s just another regular day, not the first page of something new. you don’t look at him again. not right away. but you can feel him. the way you always could.
mr. doyoung claps his hands twice, too enthusiastically, as if to break the spell or maybe because even he feels the tension lifting, “alright! today’s rehearsal…the wedding scene!” he announces, his smile extra bright, eyes darting between you and haechan.
you don’t flinch. you don’t groan or make a joke at haechan’s expense like you might’ve a week ago. you just flip to the page. from beside you, yujin leans in slightly, whispering out of the corner of her mouth, “are you two… friends now?” her voice is half hopeful, half afraid the answer might implode the timeline.
you keep your eyes on the script, “maybe” you murmur back, shrugging, voice calm, “but we’re not enemies anymore.”
she stares at you for a second like she’s trying to decode an alien language, then exhales sharply and mutters, “holy shit, i need a drink.”
across the room, haechan shifted forward in his seat now, elbows on his knees, script open, highlighter cap in his mouth. you glance up once, and he’s already looking at you. his mouth quirks. not a smirk. not a dare. just that same soft expression. your fingers tighten slightly around your script before the two of you take your spots on stage.
the rehearsal is going surprisingly smooth. almost like someone replaced the decades-old scripts of your dynamic with a gentler rewrite. one where your lines don’t burn with anger when you speak them, where eye contact doesn’t feel like a threat. you’re standing across from haechan in the middle of the stage, your fingers laced loosely in front of you, your posture careful but relaxed.
“romeo shall thank thee, daughter, for us both,” jongho says, fully immersed in his friar laurence voice, hands folded solemnly like he’s performing an actual ceremony. you glance at haechan as he steps toward you. he leans in and brushes a kiss to your lips, soft, almost reverent, and you do your best to ignore the tiny spark that settles in your chest and fizzles straight to your toes.
“as much to him, else is his thanks too much,” you say with quiet warmth, smiling through the line. you kiss him again, this one just a touch longer, just a breath closer than necessary.
he pulls back slightly, meeting your eyes, “ah, juliet, if the measure of thy joy be heaped like mine and that thy skill be more. to blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath. this neighbor air and…,” he trails off.
there’s a beat of silence. his eyes flick to the side. nothing comes. you raise an eyebrow, “o romeo, are you lagging?”
a ripple of laughter breaks out across the room. haechan narrows his eyes at you, but he’s grinning, the corners of his mouth twitching, “no my juliet, i’m connecting to the server.”
“oh, sorry, i forgot this version of romeo runs on the internet.” the laughter grows. even mr. doyoung chuckles softly from behind his script.
haechan places a hand dramatically on his chest, staggering back a step, “you wound me, juliet.”
you place a hand on your hip, “you forgot your line in the middle of our wedding. i think i’m the one who should be wounded.”
he opens his mouth to reply, but before he can get a word out, sanha, who’s been watching this unfold with wide eyes, throws in a “i knew it was too good to be true.”
the laughter dies down. there’s a shift, a pause, one of those delicate moments that could tilt either way. everyone glances between the two of you, waiting to see if the air will thicken with old tension again.
but then haechan shrugs, smile still soft, “can’t friends banter?”
the room stills. the word hovers between you like a fragile thing, spoken so casually but carrying so much more weight than anyone expected.
friend wasn’t exactly the word people would describe your relationship to be.
your heart skips, not in a dramatic way, just a quiet flutter, like it’s catching up to something your brain already knew. you look at him and he’s already looking at you. there’s something behind his eyes, a private little spark, a shared joke, like the two of you are in on something no else quite understands.
you smile, slow and real, “exactly,” you say, “friends banter.”
everyone goes quiet again, not with tension but surprise. you can practically hear the mental recalibration of the room. yujin’s mouth is slightly open, xiaojun has an eyebrow raise, jongho is looking back and forth in between you, wondering how he got himself stuck in the middle of all this.
mr. doyoung clears his throat and claps his hands once, “alright, let’s run it again. from romeo’s line.”
haechan pick up his script, quickly reading it over, still grinning. as you take your mark beside him, his shoulder brushes yours, barely noticeable but deliberate. neither of you move away.
♕
the next day, after rehearsal ends and the cast slowly filters out, you find yourself lingering in the black box again, volunteering to put away the chairs. it’s quiet, dimly lit, the echoes of the day still in the air in half-muttered lines, scattered laughter, a crumpled water bottle forgotten in the wings. you’re sitting on the edge of the stage, kicking your heels lightly against the wood. then you hear footsteps, unhurried, familiar. haechan joins you a beat later, collapsing beside you with a dramatic groan.
“remind me why we volunteered for this, again?,” he sighs, eyes closed, head tilted toward the ceiling.
you smirk, “well, i volunteered for this because i haven’t helped out since week one. you just…showed up.”
he cracks one eye open and turns his head toward you, grinning, “right. my hero complex. forgot.”
you nudge him with your shoulder, and for a second it feels like nothing ever changed between you. like the years of eye-rolls and cold shoulders never happened. like you’re just you and he’s just him, and all the old memories you both tried to forget have started quietly knocking again.
“so,” you say playfully, “you do realize you completely blacked out on your monologue yesterday, right?”
he groans again, louder this time, slumping so far sideways he’s almost sliding off the stage, “don’t remind me, i saw my life flash before my eyes, mr. doyoung’s disappointment in 4k.”
you turn toward him, grinning, “my favorite part was when you just stood there, blinking like you got hit with a windows error.”
haechan throws a hand over his eyes, “i was reconnecting!, you caught me mid-update.”
you burst out laughing, the sound echoing off the walls. it makes him look at you again, and not in the usual teasing way. he watches the way your face lights up, the way your shoulders shake with it, and something in his chest aches – warm and familiar.
“i’ll admit,” you say between giggles, “that line delivery of mine? ‘o romeo, are you lagging?’ oscar-worthy.”
“you’re insufferable,” he grumbles, but he’s smiling too.
you both go quiet for a moment, the air between you charged in a way it didn’t used to be — or maybe always was, back before either of you knew what to call it.
“did you see jongho’s face?,” you ask, biting back a grin.
he grins, eyes lighting up, “he looked like he was witnessing a miracle. like we were gonna shake hands and start a foundation for world peace.”
“yujin nearly dropped her phone” you snort, “i think she thought she was hallucinating.”
he chuckles, nudging you slightly, “we should’ve milked it, gone on tour with our peace treaty, sold merch, team haechan and team y/n shirts.”
you roll your eyes, smiling despite yourself, “we’d have sold out shows every night.”
he looks at you for a beat longer than necessary, “you know… it’s weird.”
you glance over, “what is?”
“this,” he says quietly, “us. talking like this again, it feels…,” he pauses, searching for the word, “familiar.”
you don’t say anything right away, because you feel it too. that quiet pull. that ache. the thing that never fully went away. you both know it. you were each other’s person. before the hate took over, before the jabs. before either of you figured out that pushing someone away is sometimes easier than letting them in.
“yeah,” you say softly, “it does.”
then he shifts slightly, glancing sideways, “so…friends banter, huh?”
you raise a brow, “you said it.”
“and you didn’t disagree,” he says softer now. there’s no teasing in his voice, just curiosity.
you nod, “nope, i didn’t.”
he smiles. not that smug, sharp smile you used to hate. this one’s crooked, earnest. and you smile back, the same kind of smile, the kind you don't have to guard. the smile you give to a friend. but something in the way you look at each other says maybe not just that forever. maybe just that for now.
he bumps his shoulder into yours, “so, friend…you buying me lunch tomorrow?”
you scoff, “you forgot your lines. i should be the one charging you.”
he grins, that glint sneaking back into his eyes, “fine, princess. lunch tomorrow. cafeteria. my treat.”
the nickname is gentler now, filled with a sort of affection that makes your heart skip a beat. you tilt your head, pretending to consider, “as long as you don’t freeze mid-sentence again.”
he leans just slightly closer, his voice barely above a murmur, “only if you promise to tease me about it again.”
you pretend to roll your eyes, but you’re smiling…big now. unrestrained. the kind that feels like sunlight in your chest. you think about everything that’s happened. the years of arguing. the pushing and pulling. the kisses that weren’t on the script. the ones that came after, the magnetic pull of him. the electric tension you thought would destroy you both. now somehow reshaped into this — a strange, slow return to something lighter. something that still pulses underneath with heat.
you walk out side by side, the distance between you closer than it was yesterday.
♕
the next day, true to his word, haechan meets you outside the cafeteria, two iced choco’s in hand and a stupidly triumphant grin on his face like he just won a prize.
“you drink this, right?,” he says, handing you one without waiting for an answer, “i know it used to be your favorite, i just don’t know if you still like it now,” he rambles, a little nervous.
you take it, brushing your fingers lightly against his, “of course I still like it now,” you say with a smile that you don’t quite realize is soft enough to knock the wind out of him, “thank you.”
“anything for the princess,” he winks as you roll your eyes playfully. you find a corner table by the windows, where the sun spills across the scratched plastic surface and turns your drinks gold. the campus buzzes around you, students passing by with backpacks slung low, the distant hum of conversations and clinking trays.
haechan orders sandwiches for you both, and without asking, skips the pickles on yours. you notice, and you don’t say anything, but the fact that he remembered that makes something in your chest swell and ache at the same time. there’s something undeniably easy about it all. about him. you fall into a rhythm of banter, half jokes, and snide comments wrapped in smiles that linger just a little too long. it’s almost too easy to forget that the two of you hated each other. almost too easy to remember that once, you didn’t.
you’re in the middle of a joke when a voice interrupts the moment — “hey, haechan,” your eyes turn towards the voice. it’s ryujin. and she’s leaning against the edge of the table, hair in a pretty messy bun in that effortless dancer way, water bottle in hand, wearing one of those crop tops that make everyone in the building do a double take. she flashes him a bright smile.
“you didn’t show up to the party last night,” she says, teasing but with a bite that suggests she noticed and cared.
haechan blinks like he wasn’t expecting her, “oh, yeah, i–uh, fell asleep early,” he shifts in his seat, his legs brushing yours under the table. then he glances at you, a quick flicker of a look, like a reflex. it’s so fast. he probably thinks you missed it. but you didn't.
ryujin giggles lightly and touches his shoulder, a fleeting gesture that might have meant nothing to anyone else, “we’re always missing out on each other,” she pouts.
you glance down at your sandwich. you can’t bring yourself to keep watching. your appetite vanishes somewhere between her hand and his smile.
“yeah,” haechan forced out, then clears his throat, trying to find words.
you miss the awkward way he scratches the back of his neck, the polite distance in his voice that doesn’t quite match ryujin’s energy. he’s not flirting back but he’s not shutting it down either.
ryujin’s gaze finally flickers to you, her smile dimming just slightly, “hey.”
you smile, sharp and polite “hey.”
she lingers. just enough to make it weird. then flicks her hair over her shoulder and turns back to him, “you’re mine at the next party, okay?”
haechan lets out a nervous laugh, “cool. yeah.” it comes out a little too fast, like he’s agreeing just to make the moment end. he wishes the ground could just swallow him whole. he doesn’t even know why the mere action of ryujin flirting with him around you is getting him all flustered.
she finally walks away and you don’t say anything at first. you take a sip from your drink just to have something to do with your hands. haechan exhales like he’s just escaped a fire.
you arch an eyebrow, still not looking at him, “you okay?”
he rubs his hands down his thighs, “yeah. that was…awkward.”
“didn’t look awkward from where i was sitting,” you mutter, voice a little sharper than intended.
he turns to you, caught off guard by your tone, “be serious.”
you poke the lettuce in your sandwich, “haven’t you been flirting with her since forever?,” you comment. it wasn’t exactly a secret to the rest of the university that the two had the hots for each other. just like how it wasn’t a secret that the two of you can’t stand each other.
“yeah, well. that was before,” he says without thinking.
“before what?,” you ask, raising a brow, your eyes finally meeting his.
he goes quiet. you wait. he’s already looking at you, his expression unreadable. there’s a long pause, like he’s debating something. then he looks away, his voice low “nothing. never mind.”
you don’t push. but your stomach twists in a way that’s hard to ignore. you weren’t supposed to care. he’s just a friend. that’s what you agreed on.
then he forces out a laugh, soft and a little shaky, he bumps your foot under the table, voice casual, “so” he murmurs, “you’re totally jealous.”
you nearly choke on your sandwich, “am not.”
“you looked at your sandwich like you wanted it dead,” he points out, teasing.
you narrow your eyes at him, but your lips twitch anyway, “you’re officially delirious.”
he grins, that same crooked, trouble-making grin that used to make your blood boil and now just… makes it rush. you roll your eyes and take another sip of your drink, hiding your smile behind the straw. but your cheeks feel warm. and your heart feels stupid.
because yeah, maybe you were jealous. and maybe that means this thing between you, this not-quite-friends, not-quite-something-else, is barreling toward a truth you’re both trying not to name.
♕
the lights flash neon blue and pink over the velvet booths and sticky tables. it was karaoke night with your castmates. the room filled with laughter, everyone sipping cheap drinks, flipping through the karaoke’s binder, music pulsing through the speakers, everyone pretending they’re not stressed about the upcoming show. haechan leans against the booth, one arm resting over the backrest, drink in hand. usually you sit in the booth farthest away from him, but tonight, tonight you’re sitting right next to him, trying not to notice the way his shoulders brush yours every so often. the way it sparks something irritatingly warm in your chest.
“you do know you’re not getting out of singing, right?” you say, a smirk playing on your lips as you leaned over to talk in his ear, loud enough for him to hear over changbin and wooyoung currently performing hamilton.
he raises an eyebrow, ignoring the way your breath sends goosebumps all over his spine, “who said i was trying to?”
“you haven’t signed up once,” you point out.
“maybe i’m waiting,” he says, turning his head so you're closer than before, so close you catch the faint smell of his cologne, the woody powdery scent that makes your brain fuzzy, “for the right song and the right partner,” he glances at you. there’s a flicker of amusement in his eyes.
“are you asking me to duet, lee donghyuck?,” you smirk.
“only if you think you can keep up,” he says, a playful smile on his lips.
minutes later you’re both up front, two microphones in hand. you give him a sideways glance as the intro to what is this feeling starts playing. haechan smirks when he sees the lyrics pop up on the screen.
“what is this feeling, so sudden and new?,” he starts. of course he was galinda, milking the drama, throwing in that little hair flip that makes you giggle. you both slip into character. the room blurs. it’s just you and him.
“loathing. unadulterated loathing,” he levels you with an exaggerated glare.
“for your face — your voice — your clothing!,” you match his energy, pacing in time with him like two cats ready to pounce. the song becomes a battleground, but its play fighting. banter wrapped around melody. and you feel like a child again.
“let’s just say we loathe it all!” you end, breathless and giddy.
the room erupts, howling with laughter and applause. but something about the moment slows. the harmony lingers longer than it should. haechan’s eyes meet yours, you don’t look away.
an hour later the bar started to empty out. castmates peel off into groups, calling rides or walking to the subway in clumps. you’re slipping your jacket on when you feel someone fall into step beside you.
“you’re walking home?” haechan asks casually, hands shoved in his coat pockets.
you nod, “it’s not far.”
“i’ll walk with you,” he says, like it’s not even a question. like it’s a given.
the streets are quieter now, only the hum of traffic and the occasional siren echoing down the avenue. the moon reflecting shimmer in puddles, and there’s a leftover thrill buzzing under your skin from the performance, from him.
he kicks at a pebble, glancing over at you, “so… we make a pretty good team.”
you bump your shoulder into his lightly, “don’t let it get to your head.”
“too late, princess” he says with a grin.
you walk in silence for a beat, the good kind, where it doesn’t feel like something needs to be said. then, softly, “we’re pretty good at being friends,” you murmur, eyes fixed on the sidewalk.
you feel him glance at you before he answers “yeah,” he says, just as quiet, “we are.”
your fingers don’t touch, but they hang close enough that the space between them feels loud. you look up at him then, and he gives you that crooked, genuine smile that always comes out when he thinks no one’s watching.
“thanks for walking me,” you say when you reach your building.
he nods, “always.” there’s a pause. that kind where you could either wave and walk away or not. then haechan opens his arms slightly, like he’s offering, but not assuming. and you don’t even hesitate. you step into him, arms wrapping around his torso. he’s warm and steady around your shoulders. it’s not rushed. not awkward. it’s one of those hugs that feels like it’s saying a lot more than either of you are willing to put into words just yet.
you breathe him in and for a second, it feels like the rest of the world goes quiet. he pulls back first, but slowly, like he’s not quite ready either. his hands brush your arms before he lets go.
“night, princess,” he says, teasing, voice a little huskier than before.
you roll your eyes, but you’re smiling, “night, hyuck.”
and even though nothing’s said, and nothing happens, it still feels like something changed. like you both felt it, even if you’re pretending not to.
♕
hyuck: wanna come over and watch mamma mia 2 tonight?
princess: the one that came out when we hated each other?
hyuck: yeah, thought it might be poetic or whatever >.<
you almost laugh out loud when you read it. of all the movies. that one. the one released right in the thick of your worst arguments, during the year neither of you could say a full sentence without wanting to kill each other. the one you couldn’t bring yourself to watch in theater because all you could remember was watching the first one with him.
princess: will there be popcorn?
hyuck: of course
princess: see you later ;)
by the time you arrive at the frat house, it’s quiet. most of the guys are out for the night and the place, for once, feels peaceful. lived-in, but cozy. haechan greets you at the door with popcorn in one hand and remote in the other.
“just you, me and ABBA,” he says, a playful smile on his face as you make your way to his living room.
you smirk, stepping inside, “scared i’ll out-sing you?”
his laugh is automatic, “you wish.”
you settle on the couch, blanket tossed between the two of you. you don’t sit close, not at first. but as the movie plays, as waterloo kicks in and the popcorn dwindles and your feet end up tangled somewhere under the blanket, the space between you shrinks. neither of you mentions it. you both sing along, loud and obnoxious, voices overlapping in messy harmonies, especially during why did it have to be me, elbowing each other like teenagers. there’s a softness in it. a safety. like the memories that used to hurt have dulled around the edges and all that’s left now is warmth. you’re both grinning so hard it hurts. the kind of joy you haven’t let yourself feel around him in years. by angel eyes you’re leaning into him more than you mean to. his shoulder’s warm. you let yourself rest there, just for a second. but the second turns into minutes. and by the time my love, my life begins to play, you’ve gone quiet, breaths slow and even, your head tilted gently against him.
he doesn't dare move.
the movie goes on, but he doesn’t register it anymore. not really. he’s too aware of you, curled up beside him, cheek pressed into his hoodie, peacefully asleep. like you completely trust him again. and that’s when it hits him.
it’s not a surprise. not a sudden realization. just something he’s been trying to ignore finally catching up to him — he never stopped liking you.
not when you fought. not when you ignored each other in the hallways and on stage and in classes. not even when he flirted with other girls, trying to replace the hole you burned through him with something lighter, simpler. but no one ever did. no one even came close. because it’s always been you. under his skin. in his lungs. every song he sang louder just so you’d hear it. every stupid joke he cracked just so you would see him.
and now, god, now it’s stronger than ever. because he’s not just thinking about how right this feels. he’s thinking about you. the way you laughed tonight, unguarded. the way you trusted him enough to fall asleep on him like this. the way you’ve been slowly letting him back in.
but underneath that softness, beneath all the fragile peace you’ve built…is something hungrier. something heavier.
because now he knows the way your lips feel on his, hot and frantic, laced with fury and desperation. the weight of your body tangled with his, all tension and sharp edges and need. he remembers the night you both gave in to it. when everything between you collided and combusted and for a few stolen hours, nothing else existed. the sound you made when he was inside you. the way you clung to him like you hated him for how good it felt.
he’d be lying if he said he hasn’t thought about it since. about you. that night. the taste of your skin. the way he wanted more, even then. the way he still wants more now — he wants to feel you again but not like that. not angry. not bitter. not as a mistake to bury. he wants to feel you without the weight of a grudge between you.
that’s what scares him the most. because you’re just starting to rebuild whatever fragile thread of friendship you’ve stitched together. if he leans in again, if he fucks this up, he’s not sure either of you will come back from it.
so he doesn’t move. doesn’t speak. just lets you rest against him, eyes fixed on the credits. heart beating loud and traitorous in his chest. he tells himself it’s enough but he knows it won't be for long because he never wanted to be just your friend — not really. not ever. not then. and definitely not now.
ཐིཋྀ the eight week of rehearsals
monday comes again you spot him in rehearsals, sitting in his usual chair. and for the first time, you chose to sit on the chair next to him. you wait for his usual greeting, that charming smirk, the lifted eyebrows, the dumb pun about how you finally couldn’t resist sitting next to the greatest.
but none of it comes.
he doesn’t raise his brows and say something stupid just to make you roll your eyes. he just nods. quiet and distant.
“hi,” you offer as you approach, a smile on your face.
“hey,” he replies, without looking at you. it throws you off. not completely. just enough that your smile falters a little.
but it doesn't stop there. during rehearsals, he’s all business. focused. he doesn’t crack jokes during warmups like he usually does. even when you fumble a line and instinctively glance at him for a reaction, he doesn’t meet your eyes. there are no friendly banters. it’s like someone hit the switch on him over the weekend. and sure, he talks to you. he doesn’t ignore you completely. but it’s colder. measured. like he’s rehearsing something behind every word.
at break, you sit on the edge of the stage like always but he doesn’t join you. he stretches with the boys instead, laughing a little too loudly at something that isn’t even funny.
you feel it — the difference. the detachment. like he’s edited you out of a movie scene where you once had top billing.
you watch from across the room, trying not to let it show that you notice. but you do. you notice everything. the way he keeps his distance. the way his gaze skips over you in group conversation. the way he leaves rehearsal without waiting, mumbling something about being late for a meeting you’re not even sure exists.
you tell yourself it’s fine. you’re friends. it’s just a weird day. maybe he’s tired. maybe something’s going on. maybe he did have a meeting. maybe it’s nothing.
but the thing is — it doesn’t feel like nothing. and it stings. because just last week you were creating new inside jokes, sharing lunch, singing duets, watching movies, laughing so hard your stomach hurt. and just two nights ago, you fell asleep on his shoulder and he let you and for one quiet, perfect evening, it felt like maybe, maybe, you were finding your way back to something real. and now? now he won’t even look at you.
later, you replay the night in your mind, trying to pinpoint what went wrong. the way he sang with a fake swedish accent, making you laugh until your ribs hurt. the way you caught him watching you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. like you were something precious. something fragile. nothing about that night felt off. but now he’s acting like you’re glass that cracked when he wasn’t looking, and he doesn’t know how to pick up the pieces without bleeding.
you want to call him out. ask what the hell you did. demand to know why he’s shutting you out when you were finally figuring out how to be in the same room without burning. but you don’t. you don’t say a word. because maybe you were just being dramatic. or maybe because part of you is scared of the answer.
and part of you, the part that still aches for him even now, kind of wishes you could just go back to hating each other. at least then, he looked at you like he meant it.
♕
it’s been a few days since and things have gotten worse. you can’t put your finger on it exactly. nothing obvious. no big blow up. no fight. just the absence of something that was almost there.
he shows up to every rehearsal, still jokes with the cast, still reads his lines. but with you? he’s quieter. not cold, not cruel. just careful. like he’s watching every word, every glance, weighing them all in his head before he lets them go. like he’s trying to keep something from slipping out. something that used to dance at the edge of his smirks and linger in the way he looked at you, that soft, half-daring thing that felt almost too real.
you hate it. so you do something about it. you text him on a thursday evening in a moment of impulsive hope or maybe desperation.
princess: you doing anything tomorrow night? a few of us are going to the A.M. 127 bar, you should come.
you watch the message go through, then you toss your phone aside like it didn’t cost you anything to send. it takes him an hour to respond.
hyuck: ah wish i could but i’m busy. have to finish a write-up for theater theory and help mark with something
you stare at it, a little too long. looking for cracks in the excuse. for anything that might explain why it sounds like a gentle rejection and not just a scheduling conflict. and when you finally type out a reply, something nonchalant, unaffected, you send it before you can overthink.
princess: all good. good luck :)
you toss your phone again, harder this time, like the weight in your chest might go with it. you won’t be bitter. you can’t be bitter. he doesn’t owe you anything. he doesn’t have to show up just because you asked. you’re friends now. just friends. friends have boundaries. friends don’t need each other to say yes.
but the next night while waiting for your drink with yujin at the loud, dimly lit bar, you make the mistake of scrolling through your phone. the story flashes before you even realize what you’re watching. a living room, lights flickering, people playing a game of beer pong.
and there, clear as day – haechan. leaning against the arm of the couch. grinning. and next to him? ryujin. tucked comfortably into his side like she’s always belonged there. laughing at something he says, head tipped toward him, her hand casually resting on his thigh like she doesn’t even have to think about it.
the clip is only ten seconds long. but it affects you more than it should. you click it again. watch it one more time. and another. and another — his head leans toward hers. he’s smiling. he looks easy with her. like nothing’s complicated. like nothing happened. like he didn’t freeze up around you this week. like he didn’t pull away just when things started to feel… possible.
you swallow around the twist in your chest, reaching out for your drink. you laugh too, like you’re fine, like you didn’t just get sucker punched by a few pixels on a screen. but inside, you feel like an absolute joke — a stupid, drunk punchline to a story you thought had changed.
you take a couple more shots before you were staring at your phone again. the last text between you still lit up on the screen.
“all good. good luck :)”
you hate the way it reads. detached. not real. not at all how you feel. and before you can stop yourself, before you can listen to your own logic, you’re tapping his name in your contacts and pressing call — it rings once. twice. you don't think he’ll answer. but by the third ring, his voice hits your ear, “hello?,” low, familiar, a little too steady. he’s not drunk.
you try to swallow around the words clogging your throat, “hey,” you say and you wince at how thin it comes out, “it’s me.”
a beat of silence. “yeah. i know,” he sounds softer, cautious now.
you almost laugh, “sorry,” you mutter, “i shouldn’t have called. just…ignore this, okay? just pretend it didn’t happen.”
“wait,” he says, sharp enough to stop you from ending the call, “are you okay?”
there he goes again. pretending he cares. you want to lie. say yeah, of course i’m great. but you’re tired. a little drunk. a little heartbroken. you laugh. it sounds bitter, “what do you think?”
another pause. you can hear the voices in the background. the loud music. ryujin’s laugh. the exact same sound from the video. and it scrapes at your ribs.
“you said you were busy,” you say and this time you don’t try to hide the shake in your voice, “you said you had to help mark with something.”
“i did,” he replies, and god, he sounds so calm it makes your chest burn, “plans changed.”
“right,” you whisper, “funny how that happens.”
he’s quiet again and maybe that should be your cue to hang up. to end this before it gets pathetic. but you can’t. not when it feels like he’s been slipping further and further away all week.
“i just didn’t expect to see you with her,” you admit, a little too bare, too honest, too messy, “that’s all.”
he exhales slowly. you can hear voices in the background, someone calling his name. he murmurs something away from the phone, you can’t make it out. when he speaks again, he’s quieter, “it’s not what you think.”
you smile without warmth, “okay,” you say because what else can you say? you were in no position to tell him who he can and can’t hang out with. you were in no position to even get jealous. he doesn’t explain further. he doesn’t need to. you were just his friend.
“you’ve been weird all week,” you say suddenly, “and i’ve been trying not to take it personally, but–,” you cut yourself off.
“but what?,” he asks. you swallow hard, “i don’t know. i guess i thought we were friends again.”
“we are,” he says quickly. too quickly.
“then why are you pushing me away?,” you ask, voice soft and quiet.
another breath from him, a pause that stretches, “i’m not.”
“you are. you stopped looking at me. you stopped cracking jokes,” you blink hard, throat thick, “did i do something wrong? is this some kind of elaborate plan to hurt me the way i hurt you?”
“no.” he says quickly, “it’s not like that.” then the line goes silent. the music behind him fades.
“i’m just,” he finally says, the words slow and clipped, “trying to keep things simple right now.”
you nod even though he can’t see you. even though it didn’t make sense. even though nothing about you and him has ever been simple.
“okay,” you say again, “i’ll let you get back to your party.”
“princess–,” he starts.
but you’re already pulling the phone away, muttering out a hollow “bye,” and ending the call before he can stop you.
you hang up, phone trembling in your hand, heart heavier than before. you didn’t get answers. didn’t get clarity. didn’t get the version of him who sang ABBA at the top of his lungs and leaned into you like you were home. you just got silence. distance. a half-hearted promise that meant nothing.
♕
you don’t remember how many drinks it takes to get you there – that hazy, floating kind of drunk. the kind that makes everything feel like it’s underwater and glowing. you’re not sad, not exactly. just…empty. tired in a way that no one can see.
yujin left a while ago, with a boy she’s been making out with the whole night. she kissed your cheek goodbye, making you promise to uber home. you said of course and waved her off with a smile too big for your face. then you stayed and ordered another drink. and another. let the night blur until it felt like you didn’t exist anymore.
the bartender starts to notice around 2:00 a.m. – you’re sitting slouched over the counter. your lips are slightly smeared and your mascara smudged just enough to make you look fragile. breakable. like someone who doesn’t know where she is or why she’s still here. you don’t notice the bartender hovering until he gently taps the bar in front of you, “hey” he says, voice low, kind, “you alright?”
you glance up, slow and reluctant, eyes glassy, unfocused, trying to read his blurry nametag: johnny. you try to smile at him but your mouth doesn’t quite cooperate, “mm fine, johnny,” you mumble, slurring your words.
he gives you a long look, his voice is still gentle but it sharpens a little at the edges, “that’s not true.”
you shake your head, try to sit up straighter, but the motion tilts the room again. you let out a soft, pathetic-sounding laugh, “okay, maybe not, but i’ll be fine.”
johnny sighs, the kind of sigh that says he’s seen this before. too many times. he pulls out a clean glass of water, slides it in front of you, “drink this.”
you do. drunk enough to drink anything a stranger would give. then he looks at you again, soft but steady, “i’m gonna call someone for you, okay? just to make sure you get home safe.”
you blink, the words registering slower than normal, “no–it’s—dont. please. i’m fine, i can–”
“you’re not fine,” he says gently but firm. you don’t argue again. you’re too tired.
“here,” you mumble, unlocking your phone with clumsy fingers, “pick whoever you want, i don’t care,” you say, giving in. he scrolls through your recent calls, lifts the phone to his ear.
“yo…hey…is this hyuck?,” his voice rings in your ear but you were too out of it to care, “yeah, hi i’m a bartender at A.M. 01:27, i’ve got a girl here, this is her phone, she’s pretty out of it. not in danger or anything just too drunk to leave alone. you were the last person she called, so…,” his voice drifts off in the background as your forehead sinks into your arms, head dropped to the counter, letting the drowsiness take over.
time passes. or maybe it doesn’t. you don’t really know.
then you hear your name. you lift your head slowly, the bar has started to spin again or maybe your brain has. same difference. you squint your eyes open and he is there, standing next to you, hoodie pulled over his hair, cheeks flushed from the cold.
“define ‘okay,” you mutter, pushing yourself up. you sway a little and his hand is instantly under your elbow, steadying you.
“got it,” he murmurs, sliding an arm around your waist, “let’s go.”
“wow,” you say under your breath, stumbling slightly as he helps you toward the exit, “my hero, coming to my rescue so fast, didn’t know i still mattered.”
“i got a call from a man who doesn’t even know you,” he mutters, jaw tight, “forgive me if i didn’t love that scenario.”
you glance up at him as he opens the passenger door, “jealous?” he doesn’t answer. doesn’t even look at you. just helps you in, buckles the seatbelt with a sigh and shuts the door.
the drive is quiet. not awkward. not exactly. but there’s a weight between you. thick and humming. some ghost made of the things you never said. haechan’s hands grip the wheel tight, knuckles white, eyes locked on the road. the glow from the dash throws soft light across his face, shadows catching in the curve of his jaw, the dip under his cheekbone. you watch him in sideways glances, arms crossed tight to your chest like you’re holding yourself together. the city fades. buildings blur into darkness. music plays low from the stereo, some playlist he forgot to turn off. you don’t say much. neither does he. but slowly, gradually, the fog in your brain starts to clear. your head feels less floaty. your pulse settles. your tongue feels normal in your mouth again. you blink. you breathe.
you’re starting to sober up. enough to feel the cracks again. enough for the ache to come back clearer than before — and when the gps chimes that you’re ten minutes away from your dorm, something inside you finally breaks.
“i hate you.” you whisper, eyes still on the road ahead.
his brow twitches, and he casts you a quick, startled glance, “what?”
you turn your head now, shoulders squaring toward him, the last drops of alcohol giving you courage, or maybe just stripping your fear down to its bare, shaking bones.
“i said, i hate you.”
maybe you say it because it’s real. maybe you wanted to get a reaction out of him. something. anything.
“okay,” he says, soft and resigned. like he’s letting you go without even trying to hold on. like he knew this was coming, “you’re drunk.
“i’m not that drunk,” you snap.
he continues focusing on the road. jaw tight.
“i hate your stupid face,” you go on, voice low but steady, “i hate your stupid little moles,” you take a breath, “i hate when you laugh without me.”
a pause. he wonders if you could hear the way his heart is thudding in his chest.
“i hate how you asked me to be friends again just to ignore me. i hate the way you act like nothing has happened between us.”
you pause. your chest tight. your throat is burning.
“i hate the way you look at me like you want to say something, but you won’t. i hate the way you leave me guessing, doubting, wondering if any of this is real.”
he doesn’t say a word. just silence so loud it echoes. you stare at him, heart pounding. you don’t cry. you just tell the truth, finally.
“i hate the way you make me feel,” you whisper, “i hate the way it’s so easy for me to fall for you.”
the words hang in the air, awful and honest. you feel them leave your mouth and you can’t take it back. he doesn’t pull over right away. but his jaw locks. his throat bobs with a swallow. and then he takes the next left, turns into a side street, dark and quiet, far from the dorms. no one’s around. just the sound of your breath and his. he parks the car and the silence rushes in. it’s deafening. the kind that drowns out everything else. it’s thick with all the things you’ve never said, with every unfinished sentence and swallowed apology.
then he turns toward you, eyes wide and raw, like he’s been trying to hold something in for so long it’s starting to hurt. like your words have cracked something open in him that he can’t put back.
“don’t.” he says, barely a whisper. “don’t say that. not when you don’t mean it.”
but you don’t look away, “i do mean it.”
and for a second, neither of you speak. neither of you move. it’s all there between you. the longing, the ache, the silence that always meant more — and you’ve filled it up. you’ve cracked the quiet open and poured the truth inside it.
now there’s nothing left to hide behind. you see it. the wreckage in him. the war. the part of him that wants to reach for you. and the part of him terrified that if he does, you’ll disappear.
he exhales, slowly and shaky, like he’s trying to steady himself on the edge of something steep, “i didn’t think you felt it,” he murmurs, voice rough like it’s been scraped raw from the inside, “i kept telling myself you wouldn’t. that you couldn’t.”
you stay quiet, letting him unravel. he laughs then, a broken little sound, hollow and helpless, “i told myself if i just kept my distance, if i just waited long enough… whatever i was feeling would die out. that i’d get over it. that i won’t ruin our friendship again.”
he doesn’t look at you when he says it. he looks straight ahead, like the truth will hurt less if he doesn’t have to see your face when he says it out loud.
“but it didn’t,” he whispered, “it just got worse.”
the confession spills out now, uncontained. he can’t stop it, and he doesn’t try to anymore.
“you were everywhere. in my phone, in my stupid dreams, in every fucking song. and i hated that i couldn’t shake you,” he turns to look at you then, finally. his eyes are glassy, dark and tired. no walls left.
“i tried to be your friend,” he says desperately, “i tried so fucking hard. but every time you smiled at me, it felt like i was falling, every time you laughed, i wanted more and every time i felt you next to me, it’s like i couldn’t control myself.”
your breath hitches, but he doesn’t stop.
“i don’t want to be your friend.”
he looks at you. eyes quickly darting down your lips.
“im in love with you.” he lets the words settle in the air and then he adds, “and i want you in a way that friends shouldn’t. i always have.”
the words fall between you like a match dropped on gasoline. hot and sudden and irreversible.
“i’m tired of pretending this doesn’t wreck me,” he adds, voice low, “that you don’t wreck me.”
you don’t move. you just look at him. and in his eyes, you see it all. the quiet desperation, the resentment at himself for still loving you, the hope he keeps trying to kill. the truth sits heavy in your chest, rising fast, threatening to drown you. but you don't back away from it now. you don’t want to. because you know that you wreck him the same way he wrecks you.
you don’t remember moving. just the heat in your chest, the ache behind your ribs, the sound of your own pulse pounding in your ears. one second, you’re sitting there, breath shallow, heart torn wide open. the next, your hand is on his jaw, guiding his face toward yours and his mouth is crashing into yours. the rawness in the way he kissed you like he was trying to erase every second of space that has ever existed between you.
it’s not soft. it’s not tentative. it’s months of denial, weeks of tension and years of everything left unsaid, finally snapping all at once. and he kisses you like he’s drowning in it. his hands tangle in your hair, bringing you impossibly closer, “fuck, you’re a dream,” he manages to say in between kisses.
you kiss him harder to prove that you weren’t. that you were here and real and his for the taking. his hands are on your thighs, pushing your dress up roughly, bunching the fabric around your waist like he can’t get it out of the way fast enough. you scramble into his lap, straddling him in the driver's seat, your knees bracketing his hips, your breath already coming in fast.
he groans against your mouth, hot and frantic and trembling slightly. you break the kiss to breathe, but it’s useless, he leans in again, pressing his forehead to yours, his breath ragged.
“tell me to stop,” he murmurs, voice wrecked, “just once. say it, and i will.”
your soaked panties brush against the bulge in his jeans and he groans, deep and guttural. you shake your head, lips brushing his “don't tell me you’re gonna go soft on me just because we’re in love now.”
he pulls back slightly, stunned, like he can’t believe what he just heard, “we?”
you give him a soft, unguarded smile, “yes, hyuck. i’m in love with you too.”
that’s all it takes. the look in his eyes changes — burning hotter. darker. his mouth is on your throat, kissing a trail down to your collarbone, hands everywhere, under your dress, against your skin, gripping your waist like he’s scared you’ll vanish. the space is cramped, bodies tangled, breath fogging up the windows, but you don’t care about anything except the way his hands feel on your bare skin, the way he groans when your fingers thread into his hair and pull just a little, the way his hips arch up into yours like he’s come undone.
“you think love means soft?” he rasps, voice shredded, “you think i don’t still want to fuck you like i’ve been starving?”
his hands slide up under your dress, dragging your panties down to your thighs. he leans you back, your spine meeting the steering wheel. it’s a little awkward, a little painful, but it vanishes the moment his fingers slip between your folds.
“god, look at you,” he pants against your mouth, dragging two fingers through your folds. “you’re fucking soaked for me, princess”
you moan when he presses in, one finger at first, rough and fast, no buildup, the feel of his cool rings against your cunt making you jerk in his lap, head thrown back against the roof, thighs already quaking.
“not soft,” he growls into your skin, “not even close.”
“shut up and—fuck—fuck me already,” you moan, hips chasing the rhythm of his finger.
“no,” he snaps, a smirk on his lips, “not until i make you come on my fingers,” he groans, and then he starts really working you open. inserting another digit, angling it just right, fucking into you like he knows exactly where to go, exactly how to ruin you. his palm grinds against your clit in tight, mean circles, and it’s so much, so fast, your knees buckle on either side of him, moans of his name filling the night air, and he has to hold you down with one arm wrapped around your waist.
“you can take it, right?” he hisses, fucking you faster, “don’t tell me you’re gonna break on me now.”
“i won’t,” you whine, “i won’t, hyuck, d-don’t stop,” you beg. his cock twitching in his pants at the mere sound of his name on your lips — all needy and desperate and his. he curls his fingers harder, presses deeper, and the filthy sounds of your wetness fill the car like music to his ears. your dress is hitched around your hips, tits threatening to spill out of the neckline, and you’re so far gone you’re grinding down on his hand like you need it to survive.
“you look so fucking pretty like this,” he growls, thumb swiping across your clit like he’s trying to rip the orgasm out of you, “fucking yourself on my hand, begging for it.”
you gasp, legs trembling, feeling yourself start to come apart. and he’s obsessed with how you clench around him, how your moans go sharp and high and desperate.
“that’s it princess,” he pants, watching you with hooded eyes as you get lost in the pleasure, “let go for me.” you do. you come hard, panting, shaking in his lap as his fingers keep coaxing you through it, soaking his palm as you cry out against his shoulder, nails digging into his biceps.
he doesn’t stop right away. only after your legs go limp, after you push his hand away, after you twitch around him too much to handle another second. then, only then does he pulls his fingers out, slick and glistening, and brings them to his mouth, “tastes like fucking heaven,” he groans, licking them clean like it’s nothing.
“now ride me and take what’s yours, princess,” he grunts in your ear. you’re still panting, legs shaking, but your hands move on instinct, unzipping his jeans, pulling him out. he grabs his wallet, pulling out a small foil wrapper, ripping it open with his teeth and rolling it on with practiced urgency.
the second he’s ready, he drags the blunt head of his cock through your folds, slowly. sending goosebumps throughout your body. you can’t take another second of teasing. you grab the base of his cock, making him grunt in response. then you align him in your entrance and finally sink down, both of you breaking at the feeling.
“ahh, fuck,” he hisses, forehead thudding back against the seat. his hands grip your thighs so tight it borders on bruising, “you’re so fucking tight.”
you don’t give him time to catch his breath. you rise up and drop down again, harder this time. again. and again. the rhythm fast, desperate, almost punishing. the windows fog instantly. your dress is hitched up to your hips, sweat slick on your skin, your shared moans echoing through the small space as you bounce in his lap, riding him hard and reckless, the console digging into your spine with every movement.
“god, you feel so fucking good,” you gasp, fingers tangled in his hair. he yanks your neckline lower, finally letting your tits bounce out of your dress and his mouth is on them in an instant licking, biting, sucking like he wants to mark you up just so everyone knows you’re his.
“i never fucking stopped wanting you,” he growls against your sensitive nipple, “couldn’t sleep. couldn’t think. and now, fuck, you’re mine. you hear me?”
you grind harder, drunk on it now, his voice, the feel of him buried deep inside you, stretching you open, ruining you in the best way, “yes,” you moan, head tipped back, “yours hyuck, a-all yours.”
the car rocks. the wheel presses against your back. your thighs burn, vision blurring. his hands slide to your ass, fingers digging in to your thighs as he holds you up before fucking up into you with a speed that steals all the air from your lungs, each thrust ruining you as your legs shake in his grip and you practically scream.
“come for me,” he pants heavily, sweat dripping down his temple, “come on my cock, princess, come and let me feel it.”
you can’t do anything else but respond to him, tightening around him, crying out as your second orgasm hits you like a freight train. he follows right after, hips jerking, his hold on you loosens and you sink completely into his cock, a whiny moan escaping his lips as he empties into the condom, eyes squeezed shut, completely undone.
everything goes still. your breathing. his hands. the spinning inside your chest. you collapse against him, dress still bunched at your waist, tits on his chest, your forehead pressed to his neck, both of you wrecked and panting and clinging to each other.
haechan strokes your spine absently, soft and gentle, “you okay?” he murmurs, voice raw and hoarse, placing a soft kiss on your shoulder. you nod into him. neither of you moves. then he says it, soft and tentative, “come home with me tonight,” he whispers, not ready for the night to end.
♕
his room smells like his cologne and laundry detergent and he’s kissing you again, slower this time, more like he’s savoring it. like he has all night. because he does. he lays you down on his bed, undresses you piece by piece, there’s none of that urgent need from earlier. just worship. mouth littering kisses all over your skin. hands skating over your hips like he still can’t believe he’s allowed to touch you like this.
you feel him all over again like it’s the first time. body moving together like it’s a dance you’ve always known. you let yourself fall under him. let yourself whimper when his hand slips between your thighs, let yourself pull him in close and kiss him breathless until the two of you reach that addicting high that you can’t seem to get enough of.
and later, when he’s spooning you under the sheets, arms tight around your waist and his mouth pressed to your shoulder, he mumbles, “you know i’m crazy about you, right?”
you smile, eyes fluttering shut, “yeah, i know.”
when morning comes — you wake up alone. the warmth on the other side of the bed is gone, the sheets cooling. for a second, the room feels too quiet. your heart stutters, mind already racing with the outcome that he left.
you sit up, breath caught in your throat, but before you could wallow in the pity, the door creaks open, and there he is — tray in hand, hair still messy, sweatpants barely hanging on, wearing the exact kind of cocky grin that would usually drive you insane, except you’re too relieved to feel anything but full.
“breakfast for my one and only princess,” he says, voice obnoxiously proud. you blink at him, and it must be written all over your face, because his grin falters a little.
“hey,” he says, voice softening, as he places the tray carefully on the foot of the bed, taking a seat next to you, “you okay?”
you pull the covers up around you, shrug a little, “i just didn’t like waking up without you,” you admit, soft and quiet, almost afraid to be this honest, “i thought you left.”
a flicker of guilt passes behind his eyes, a tiny “oh,” slipping from his lips. the moment is soft, vulnerable, for two people who always dance around the other. you laugh a little under your breath, trying to shake it off, “stupid, i know, i mean, it’s you. you made it pretty clear you’re into me.”
“princess,” he says gently, arm wrapping around your waist, pulling you into his side, “it’s not stupid, i should’ve left a note or something.”
“what? ‘gone to make eggs, don’t spiral’?,” you say, realizing how dumb it sounded.
“exactly,” he deadpans, and you both laugh.
he brushes a strand of your hair away, more careful now, “we should probably work on being better at communicating, huh?”
“yeah,” you nod, forehead bumping his, “would’ve saved us, like… years of misery.”
he groans, dramatic this time, “don’t remind me, i was so annoying.”
“you’re still annoying,” you say sweetly, and he bites your shoulder in retaliation, making you squeal.
but when the laughter fades, his voice stays low, that quiet sincerity returning “i’m not gonna disappear, okay?”
you nod, “okay.”
“and i love you,” he says, gentler this time, no hesitation. just pure, stupid, real love.
your smile softens, “i love you too,” you say, leaning over to kiss him, not caring about morning breath or bedhead or the toast that’s probably getting cold.
he pulls away, breathless, a grin evident on his face, “the breakfast is gonna have to wait now,” he whispers in your ear.
you raise an eyebrow, “why?”
he leans in, voice low and warm in your ear, “because i’m hard again,” and you burst out laughing, “you’re insane.”
“insanely into my girlfriend,” he smirks, already kissing along your jaw. and you let him. because you’re his and he’s yours and it’s finally, finally, simple.
ཐིཋྀ tech week
it’s disgusting. absolutely, positively disgusting. at least, that’s the general consensus among the rest of the cast. just last month, people couldn’t stand being around the two of you because of how often you fought. every rehearsal a battleground, every interaction laced with venom.
but now? you’ve entered your full blown, pda-plagued, heart-eyes, can’t-stop-touching-each-other in-love era.
now, it’s kisses behind curtains, giggling into each other’s mouths between lighting cues, forehead touches during water breaks, fingers constantly linked even while you’re being given notes. and they don’t know what’s worse.
yeonjun throws a prop sword down dramatically, “i miss when you two hated each other, at least we had peace.”
“you’re just mad no one kisses you in between takes,” haechan fires back, smug, arm slung over your shoulder while you’re giggling into his hoodie.
someone on the crew threatens to hang a “no pda backstage,” sign after catching the two of you in a heated make out session.
but the real problem? the two of you are unstoppable.
even your arguments, and yes, you still argue, don’t last more than five minutes. you’ll bicker about stage directions or costume adjustments or whether haechan needs to dramatically fall to his knees when romeo sees juliet “dead,” and five minutes later he’ll be kissing you against a dressing room door whispering, “you’re hot when you're mad” against your lips.
and while the cast is absolutely suffering through your honeymoon phase – mr. doyoung is thriving. he walked into every rehearsal of this week with stars in his eyes, clapping wildly as you and haechan nail your death scene again. so in sync. so devastating. so tender you can feel every raw emotion behind the lines.
because now when haechan calls you “juliet,” it comes out breathless. now when you say, “my only love sprung from my only hate,” your voice cracks for real.
“do you SEE this chemistry?!,” mr. doyoung once cried, pointing dramatically at the stage, “this! this is art! this is why i casted you two!.” he might have even teared up once during the balcony scene. no one’s confirmed it but no one’s denying it either.
you and haechan just grin like idiots through it all. and when rehearsals wrap for the night, he always kisses you soft and slow and says, “can’t wait to do it all again tomorrow.”
you roll your eyes, pretend it’s annoying, but you never pull away.
ཐིཋྀ opening night
the energy backstage is electric, nerves buzzing like static in the air, costumes perfectly pressed, everyone running through the lines they already know by heart. the theater is full. the lights are hot. mr. doyoung is pacing with a clipboard and thinly veiled tears in his eyes, his heart pounding loudly in his ears.
and you’re doing your opening night ritual – little handwritten letters, folded neatly, handed to each castmate and crew member like clockwork. it’s your thing. everyone knows it. something encouraging, something kind, something just sentimental enough to make people emotional right before they have to go on stage.
you hand one to ningning, who clutches it to her chest and says dramatically, “i’m framing this.” soobin reads his and calls you a menace for making him tear up right before the show. yujin hugs you tightly, muttering something about how she’s so happy she gets to do this with her best friend too.
haechan watches from a distance as you make your rounds. he’s trying to play it cool, arms crossed, leaning against a wall in his stupidly perfect costume, lips pressed together in a barely there smirk. but underneath he’s a little tense. not that he’d ever admit it — it’s been years since he got one of your letters. not since high school. but now, with you officially his girlfriend and practically glowing as you move through the cast, he cant help but wonder, did you write him one?
he doesn’t ask. he doesn’t want to look needy. but his eyes follow you everywhere. and finally, you approach him, holding a single remaining envelope.
you stop in front of him, one brow raised, playing innocent, “oh, looks like i have one more.”
he stares at you, slow and suspicious, “you’re unbelievable.” you just grin, sliding the note into his hand. he opens it. the handwriting is unmistakably yours – familiar and clean, like a secret only he gets to keep:
what do we say when we say juliet? romeo!
every moment with you is like a scene in a movie. going through my head now is the climax. the words i practiced thousands of times as if they were scripted – you are the protagonist of my life. i want to keep you forever. no one can fill your place…you’re irreplaceable.
p.s. you look so hot as romeo, i, too would have left my family just to feel your lips.
p.p.s romeo take me somewhere we can be alone? ;)
for a second, he forgets how to breathe. love coils tightly in his chest, but so does something hotter, something heady and electric. his eyes flick to the last line, and then to you. you’re already walking away, over your shoulder, you toss him a wink. and he nearly chokes on air.
“why would you add that last part?” he hisses, catching up, voice low and wrecked. his eyes are blown wide, desperate, like you’ve lit a fuse inside him, “i just want to fuck you so bad you won’t be able to walk on stage.”
you burst out laughing, smacking his chest, “focus, romeo,” you press a kiss to his cheek and he groans like he’s being tortured, yet his mouth curves upwards into a smile anyway.
and somehow, he makes it through the show — when the lights go up and the crowd goes quiet, you step into juliet’s shoes like you were born to wear them. haechan’s romeo is every bit as dramatic and devastating and alive as he should be. the balcony scene is breathtaking. the fights are insane. the kiss before he dies draws a gasp from the crowd. by the time the final scene ends, with you sobbing over him, your voice cracking on your last words, there’s a pause…then thunderous applause, the crowd roared, standing ovation, flowers tossed on stage, some people are crying. mr. doyoung is definitely part of some people.
but as soon as the curtain closes. haechan is dragging you by the hand through the backstage chaos, ignoring the cheers, the calls, the cast photo attempts.
his grip is firm, focused and needy. you barely have time to ask where you’re going before he yanks open the door to the rehearsal room in the back and pulls you in. the door slams shut. it’s just the two of you. again. in the same, tiny, dusty room where everything shifted.
and his mouth is already on yours, “i can’t believe you wrote that in the letter,” he groans into your mouth, lifting you like it’s muscle memory, “you’re evil. you knew what you were doing.”
you gasp between kisses, clinging to his shoulder, “i don’t know what you mean,” you say innocently.
he rolls his eyes, “i’ve been hard since act i,” he kisses you like he’s starved, like the show was one long tease, every kiss on stage edging him on, every touch of juliet’s hand killing him and now he finally gets to be rewarded.
he spins and sets you down, not on the chair, not on the table — on his thigh. you blink and he grins, cocky and hungry and impossibly hot in the dim light, “you never rode this one,” he murmurs, low and sinful, hands sliding up your thighs under the skirts of juliet’s gown, “thought we’d fix that.”
the breath catches in your throat. his thigh is solid beneath you, strong and flexing, already pressed perfectly against where you need him the most. the second you move, just a little, the pressure makes your whole body jolt. and he feels it.
“fuck,” he hisses, watching you closely, an amused smirk on his lips, hands gripping your hip, “you are so into this.”
you glare at him, but your hips twitch forward again anyway. the friction is delicious. the fabric of your panties drag just right. his thigh tenses beneath you on purpose.
“you gonna come for me like this, princess?,” he whispers, lips brushing your jaw, “gonna mess up your pretty little costume riding my thigh like a desperate girl?,” you gasp, gripping his shoulders for balance, body rocking on instinct now, chasing that pressure, that heat, that release.
“f-feels so good hyuckie,” you moan as he watches, transfixed, pupils blown out, jaw tight, chest rising with every shaky breath you take.
“i could watch you forever,” he groans, “no one else ever gets to see you like this, you know that, right?”
you nod helplessly. completely lost in the pressure that was building in your stomach. and when you finally come, sudden and hot and hard, he groans at the way your whole body tenses, how your thighs shake, how your lips part in a silent moan right against his mouth, your eyes shut.
you collapse against him, but he’s not done, “think you can take me now?”, he asks, voice thick with lust, already untying the back of your costume. you look up at him, dazed, hair a mess, breath shallow and nod like there’s nothing else in the world.
he kisses you again, already sliding the skirt up your hips, making you his all over again.
𓏲 the end.
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18+ only | watch at your own risk | contains mature content
bonus: hyuck x princess coded -> video one, video two, video three, video four
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an: HAPPY DONGHYUCK DAY! 🧸🌻 this is one of my gifts for you all today (you’re still getting a birthday blurb, wink wink) i really wanted to finish this in time for haechan day and i can’t believe i actually did. but holy shit guys! we’re halfway done with this series i did not expect to get this far if im being completely honest. thank you all so much for all the love, you don’t know how happy and excited you all make me. i hope you loved haechan and princess too! i think this couple was the most fun to write and i also think they finally beat jaemin x angel as my favorite confession scene so far hehe (don’t tell jaemin!)… as always, thank you for reading! <3
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🔮 preview. Johnny gazes up at you, and your breath catches, skin heating. His fingers brush the skin of your thigh as he adjusts the hem of the dress, and you have to look away, overwhelmed by how horny you are in a room full of people just from one man giving you his undivided attention. This is going to be a problem. You’d signed a five-year modeling contract with JJS. This man is your boss. What have you gotten yourself into?
tw/cw. Technically inappropriate boss x subordinate relationship, contractual relationship, sugar daddy type contract, unprotected sex, dirty talk, praise, oral, pussy eating, blow job, hand job, multiple reader orgasms, size kink, man handling, big dick!Johnny, groping, body worship, etc… I pet names: (hers) honey.
👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 7.8k
🍭 aus. designer!Johnny, model!y/n, slowish burn, contractual relationship, boss x subordinate, power imbalance, etc…
☀️ mlist + an. I have zero knowledge of models, contracts, or how any of this works, but it’s fanfic, so how realistic am I really expected to be? Haha
One:
At this point in Johnny’s career, watching models can feel monotonous. Many have a serious case of Instagram face, and despite warnings, ‘duck lips,’ and ‘mewing’ find their way into every casting call.
For such a well-established brand, Johnny’s ‘JJS’ doesn’t usually look for new talent, but as with everything else in his life, the joy and curiosity feel gone. Nothing is new. It’s the same people, every year, the same slight alteration in fashion from the past.
As Johnny sits and watches each hopeful strut in front of him, his hope for some kind of epiphany diminishes. Maybe he should just retire at his ripe age of thirty. He has more than enough money, and he owns 51% of the shares in his company, so even if he took a step back, he’d still be head of the board and have a say on most of the decisions.
Maybe he doesn’t need to be so hands-on anymore.
“Just a few more,” Johnny’s assistant, a regal and by-the-book man named Doyoung, sighs. He taps his pen on his clipboard, clearly as unimpressed as Johnny with this green model casting call.
“I’m thinking sushi for lunch at the design studio,” Johnny muses, more enthused about the prospect of food than finding a diamond in the rough. This model list is certainly rough.
“I’ll preorder your favourite for lunch, and we can pick it up on the way,” Doyoung responds smoothly, pulling out his phone to begin the task.
Another model walks up, and the casting director asks the usual questions. Johnny assesses the way the black dress sits on her body, the angles of her face. Her strut isn’t anything to fawn over, and she’s beautiful, sure, but she’s missing a little… je ne sais quoi.
“Maybe tuna,” Johnny says quietly to Doyoung. “And some avocado rolls.”
“Final model,” Taeyong, the ex-model casting director, tells the two bored men. Once upon a time, Taeyong had been one of Johnny’s favourite employees, and he was the face of JJS for many years. Being somewhat equal in age, Johnny had had the good fortune of meeting both Taeyong and Doyoung at a similar pivotal point in his life, and together they succeeded in a way other designer brands could only dream of.
“What are you thinking, T?” Johnny grins. “Tuna or Salmon?”
“Salmon.”
“I’ll just grab a full board,” Doyoung says, knowing the appetites of his employer.
Movement captures Johnny’s attention, and he looks up to lock eyes with you. You’re gazing straight at him as you walk up the taped runway, and there’s something mesmerizing about you. Johnny knows he should assess your whole body, take in the slight swing of your arms, how your feet land with each step- but he can’t.
Your gaze has him frozen in time, his breath caught.
You’re not donning any sort of fake expression. There are no pursed lips or sucked in cheeks, but a natural beauty that radiates off of you. There’s uniqueness, too, and Johnny can hardly breathe as he watches you.
You come to a stop in front of the table.
“Name, age, management?” Taeyong asks.
Johnny hardly registers your response; it’s as if his ears are ringing, and even now that you’re not looking at him, his focus is still fixed on you.
Doyoung shifts next to Johnny, and the iconic designer isn’t sure whether Doyoung can feel Johnny’s immediate attraction towards you, or if the stoic man is also captivated by the star power that comes off of you in waves.
You do a final walk, and for the first time, you smile, nodding your thanks before you exit.
“Her,” Johnny says the moment you're out of earshot. “I want her.”
Two:
“Looks like you found your new muse,” Doyoung notes as Johnny runs around his design studio, picking up old sketches and inspecting fabrics.
Taeyong sits quietly on the couch in the centre of the large workspace, silently eating the sushi they’d picked up on the way here.
“She’s perfect,” Johnny announces, holding up your casting picture and comparing it to a soft pink fabric that he’s been wanting to utilize for some time.
“Weren’t you thinking about retiring?” Taeyong asks.
Johnny pauses, turning to look at his friend. “Why would I retire?”
The casting director swallows his tuna sushi, cocking his head to the side. “Thought you said the whole thing was boring.”
“And monotonous,” Doyoung adds. “Funny how one pretty girl can change everything.”
“That’s what modeling is,” Johnny laughs. “The great muses in history. Art needs a fixed point to draw inspiration from. This is exactly what I needed.”
Doyoung and Taeyong exchange a glance. Putting models on a pedestal doesn’t always end well, which is something Johnny should know. But as he runs around the studio, it’s clear his mind is much more pleasantly occupied, so his friends leave him be.
Three:
Contracts have been signed, expectations have been laid out, and now that Johnny has you as his new model muse, his work has picked up in speed unlike ever before. He’d helped you find an apartment in the city, and the two of you have already spent many days in the studio with help from other members of his team.
There’s a massive drawing board where Johnny is already planning an event to introduce you as one of his new brand faces, and despite your ability to keep calm when you’re working, the whole thing is a little overwhelming.
Johnny is a beautiful man. You’d seen photos of the elusive, millionaire fashion mogul, but photos pale to the real thing.
In person, his sharp cheekbones scream refined beauty, and his plump lips have taken over a majority of your brain space. His clothing style is always business chic in the best way possible, and despite a love for oversized jackets and layering, there’s no hiding his broad shoulders.
You bet he’s built under his clothes, and every second you spend next to him, your heart races faster.
Johnny dotes on you, which only makes your growing crush on him feel even more schoolgirl, but you’re trying not to get ahead of yourself.
“This colour looks so beautiful on you,” Johnny muses as you step out of the changing room in the new dress he’d custom-designed for you in less than forty-eight hours. He steps closer, inspecting the way the fabric hangs on your body. Then he gets down on one knee, adjusting the hem of the skirt. “What do you think about the length?”
“I’m not sure, I think you would know best,” you admit, still very new to this whole modeling thing, and even newer to a designer specifically asking your opinion on the clothing they’ve made for you.
Johnny chuckles, and you marvel at how his smile lights up his face. He gazes up at you, and your breath catches, skin heating. His fingers brush the skin of your thigh as he adjusts the hem of the dress, and you have to look away, overwhelmed by how horny you are in a room full of people just from one man giving you his undivided attention.
This is going to be a problem.
You’d signed a five-year modeling contract with JJS.
This man is your boss.
What have you gotten yourself into?
Four:
Johnny stands with Doyoung next to the photographer as he instructs the shoot. Part of him had had reservations about doing a photospread of you and his top male model, Jaehyun, and as he watches the two of you giggle between shots, Johnny’s fears have been confirmed.
This is what is right for his brand.
His two top models, making marketing magic together-
If only Johnny could find it within himself to be excited about the marketing prospects of this campaign.
“They look good together,” Doyoung notes, and Johnny knows his friend is making a dig at him. Taeyong and Doyoung had clocked Johnny’s attraction to you the moment he’d seen you, and in the two months he’s worked with you, it’s only grown.
Johnny hates that what Doyoung is saying is true. You and Jaehyun are the perfect pair, visually. And it kills Johnny to ask you to both step closer, to direct you to stand behind Jaehyun and wrap one arm around his front, to get Jaehyun to look up at you with dreamy eyes.
“Now we’re going to pretend I’ve said something funny,” Johnny sighs, stepping closer to you and Jaehyun as he directs the next shot.
“Yeah, like what?” Jaehyun scoffs.
“Don’t tempt him with dad jokes,” you tease, giggling and nudging Jaehyun.
Johnny’s heart sinks to the pit of his stomach, and he searches his mind for something to bring out a genuine laugh.
Thankfully, Doyoung steps in. “What's the best thing about Switzerland?” he asks, and is met with silence. “I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.”
Doyoung waits for laughter but is met with blank stares, and he groans, looking down at his phone where he’s clearly searched up funny jokes. Doyoung doesn’t have a comedic bone in his body, and with each failed joke, you and Jaehyun begin to crack up.
“What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Philippe Flop!” Doyoung says in the most atrocious French accent Johnny has ever heard, and for the first time, you and Jaehyun burst out laughing.
The photographer takes the shots, and Johnny breathes a sigh of relief.
With most of his big ticket photos already taken, Johnny moves to join his promotional team to the side of the set, giving you and Jaehyun time to be playful for the camera.
“This is going to be gold,” Jungwoo, head of marketing, grins, watching you and Jaehyun with stars in his eyes. “They look like the perfect couple! If they begin dating, the media will have a field day- this could launch our brand even higher!”
Fake dating between models isn’t something Johnny would be very interested in, but then again, Jaehyun has something of a cult following as the male face of JJS. He’d gone to a restaurant with a TikTok star one time, and the JJS hashtag had blown up online for a week afterward.
Johnny is very aware that he’s the head of this brand and the company, and that dating his top model might raise eyebrows. But maybe he’s getting ahead of himself- he’s not sure you even like him that way. Johnny has no idea how to navigate this; he’s never been interested in a member of his talent.
You’re a muse, but you’re becoming something of a nightmare too, and none of it is even your fault.
Five:
You’re not sure where you stand with Johnny sometimes. He’s the head of JJS, but he doesn’t necessarily act like a boss. The two of you have become friendly, but you’re not sure where the line starts between working friendship and ends with crossing an invisible boundary.
With a five-year contract, you can’t afford to complicate things only a couple of months into it. And asking your boss out on a date could definitely complicate things, but that doesn’t mean you have to avoid him altogether.
You know Johnny frequents an uptown bar after long hours at the design studio, and it might be a long shot, but as you dress up in your tightest dress, and do your hair and makeup, you figure there’s no harm in maybe bumping into him.
Your heart is racing as you enter the bar, and you try to be nonchalant as you look around. Johnny doesn’t appear to be here, so with a sigh, you head to the bar and take a seat to order a drink.
Not even a minute passes, and a man sits next to you. “Can I buy you a drink?” he asks, flashing you a smile. “You’re that girl on the billboards, aren't you? That model?”
You swallow thickly, still not used to being recognized. “Uh, I’m waiting for someone, actually.”
“I don’t see anyone,” the man muses, making a show of looking around. He scoots his bar stool closer. “Come on, be a good girl and let me buy you a drink.”
“I think the lady told you she’s waiting for someone,” comes a strong voice, and your heart leaps when you see Johnny standing behind the stranger.
“She’s not waiting for anyone,” the man scoffs. “She’s just being a tease.”
Johnny sighs, his gaze shifting to you. “Honey, I got us a booth in the corner, you must not have got my text, come on.” Your boss offers you his hand, and you gladly take it, leaving the stranger and your unmade drink at the bar to join Johnny in a more secluded section of the bar.
“Thank you for saving me,” you say as you sit down.
“I hate to say it, but you might have to get used to men behaving that way,” Johnny sighs. “I didn’t know you liked this bar. Are you really waiting for someone?”
“Well, um…” You swallow the lump in your throat. “You mentioned you liked this place, and I kind of needed a drink, so I figured I’d check it out.”
“So…” Johnny grins. “Not actually waiting for some hot date?”
“Single,” you blurt out, your skin heating immediately. “I mean, no. No hot date.”
Johnny only laughs. “I’ll be right back.”
You watch him leave and head to the bar, and then he comes back with the drink you had ordered. He places it in front of you and lets out a sigh, leaning back against the booth. “How are you doing?” he asks. “With everything, I mean.”
“It’s been a lot,” you admit. “I never expected this kind of publicity boost so early in my career, I mean, being your top female model was something like a dream, and now it’s real, and-”
“It’s overwhelming,” Johnny nods. “JJS’s success happened overnight, very early in my career, and I wasn’t sure how to handle it then. It’s probably not very different from what you’re dealing with now. I never had a mentor, but you have me, so… I get it.”
God, thinking of him like a mentor kind of makes you wet, and you squirm in your seat. Mentors probably shouldn’t be fucking their top models…
“Jaehyun had a similar trajectory. You two seemed to be getting along,” Johnny muses, averting his gaze nonchalantly. But you note the way his thumb rubs up and down the side of his glass, collecting the condensation there. Johnny is a calculated man, and if you think carefully about the small cues he sometimes sends, you can read the broader picture.
And if you’re reading this right, it feels as if maybe Johnny is probing you for how you feel about Jaehyun.
“Jaehyun is nice enough,” you admit.
“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this,” Johnny chuckles, “but our head of marketing offhandedly suggested that the two of you entering a PR relationship would benefit the company. We don’t do that sort of thing at JJS, but… I could see the chemistry.”
You cock your head, trying to figure out Johnny’s angle. “Jaehyun did ask me out, but I don’t think it had anything to do with PR.”
“Oh?” Your boss’s eyebrows raise. “What did you say?”
“I told him no. I’m uh…” You consider how to word this. “Well, I’m interested in someone else.”
“Are models not your type?” Johnny jokes.
“I’ve been on a few dates with models, and I know it’s odd to hear this coming from me, who is, you know, a model, but the models I went on dates with were very vain. I’m not saying I think Jaehyun will lack substance, or anything, but I’m more interested in people I can learn from.”
People like you.
The unspoken final thought.
“How about you?” you probe, highly aware that now both of you are sussing each other out. “Have you ever dated a model?”
Johnny meets your gaze straight on, and then he releases a chuckle. “My dating history is complicated.”
“I’ve got time,” you press.
Johnny takes a sip from his glass, and you can tell he’s choosing his own words quite carefully. In some ways, this feels like a mental game of chess. You think there’s a good chance you’re on the same page, but you’re both being guarded in case you’re wrong.
“My first girlfriend couldn’t understand my dedication to my work. I’m married to JJS,” Johnny explains. “My second girlfriend was a model, but she insisted on my hiring her to JJS, which I refused to do, so that ended pretty quickly.”
“Do you not date models who work for you?” you ask, taking a sip of your own drink in an attempt to appear uncaring about the answer you’re dreading might come from his lips.
“I haven’t in the past, and I’m not against it, but I would never want to overstep any boundaries. With the power imbalances in place, it’s hard to tell when feelings are genuine or calculated.”
So that’s the problem. He’s not sure about you yet.
His logic is sound, and part of you hates that, but you think you’d hate it more if he wasn’t aware of how his position as head of JJS would come into play if he entered a relationship with one of his models.
“It’s definitely a precarious position,” you agree, nodding and looking away.
“I’d hate to make the first move, but I’d hate to make a woman make the first move,” Johnny continues. “I’m more of a chivalry kind of guy, so it’s against my nature to expect a woman to pursue me.”
You’re not sure how to respond to that, and there’s silence for a few moments.
Johnny leans forward. “Tell me, honey, why did you really come to this bar?”
You look up at the beautiful designer, and you are at war with yourself.
Do you, or don’t you?
Is honesty really the best policy? Or should you lie?
“Mr. Suh…”
“Johnny,” he corrects you. “Or John. Just not Mr. Suh, that was my dad’s name.”
You take a deep breath. “John,” - God, his name tastes good on your lips - “I think we both know I made the first move, do I have to admit it? Or would you like a chance to show me some of that chivalry you were talking about?”
Your words hang heavy in the air, and then Johnny smiles. “You’re cute.”
“And you’re extremely handsome,” you laugh, the tension breaking.
“Wanna know something?” Johnny lets out a sigh. “Before I saw you at your audition, I was ready to hang up my designer coat and take it easy. I’d been looking for a spark, for something to reignite the passion I used to have for making clothing, but nothing seemed to fit. And then, you walked in, and- I feel young again.”
“You’re not old, John,” you laugh, knowing he’s only thirty.
“Maybe not in years, but I’ve poured my life into one thing for what feels like forever. Passion dries up eventually.”
“But I’m here now,” you tease, flipping your hair in a mock show of vanity.
“You are,” he agrees with a smile.
The two of you stare at each other for what feels like an awfully long time. Both of you have confirmed your interest in each other, but it still feels like you’re a long way from getting what you really want out of him.
“So where do we go from this?” you ask.
“If you’re up for it, I think you should let me take you on a date. A real date.”
“I’d like that,” you smile.
“I would too.”
Six:
After agreeing to a date with Johnny, the two of you chatted and gotten to know each other better for three more hours. He’d taken you home and given you a hug - much to your dismay when you’d wanted a kiss - and now, being back at work, it feels like the two of you have some kind of secret.
You can’t help the lingering glances or the way your skin tingles when his hand stays a little too long on your skin when he’s adjusting clothing length for new designs.
But tonight is the night, your first official date, and when you arrive home, you find a box waiting outside your door with a note on it.
‘Please wear this to dinner, I’ll pick you up at 7pm - John’
You’re giddy when you enter your apartment and open the present. The dress is soft pink, and you recognize the fabric immediately. Johnny has been stewing over this dress for over a month, trying to make it perfect. As you pull it from the box, you realize he’s succeeded, and you quickly put it on, marveling at yourself in the mirror.
To be seen by a man like Johnny - to be truly seen - to have him devote hours into making a dress like this that fits you perfectly- it’s a dream come true, and you’re on cloud nine as you get ready for your date.
At seven sharp, there’s a knock on your door, and you open it to find Johnny standing there with a huge bouquet of roses. “Hi, honey,” he grins, leaning forward and giving you a hug, his lips pressing a lingering kiss to your cheek. “You look amazing.”
“I have an amazing designer,” you laugh, inviting him inside.
“Let me help you find a vase, and then we should get going,” Johnny muses. “We have a reservation.”
“To where?”
“Not telling,” he winks playfully.
Half an hour later, you’re at one of the most beautiful Italian restaurants in the city, and as you take your seat, you let out a giggle. “This is entering sugar daddy territory.”
Johnny shrugs. “If I can’t spend my money on a pretty girl, then what’s the point?”
“Maybe the point is having an empire created out of something you were born to do?” you suggest.
Johnny waves his hand. “That’s just a bonus.”
You shake your head at his antics, and the two of you settle in. You’ve always been attracted to brains, men who can teach you things, and Johnny is a wonderful teacher. He introduces you to the finer things, explaining wine pairings and food choices. The man even knows Italian, and speaks to the waiter fluently, which makes your pussy throb as you watch with a huge grin on your face.
It’s easy to trust Johnny, and when the food comes, it’s even easier. He’d helped guide you toward a dish he knew you’d love, and he hadn’t been wrong.
Discussion flows easily between the two of you, and before you know it, you’ve even finished dessert.
“I don’t want this night to end,” you confess as Johnny settles up.
“We have a photoshoot tomorrow morning,” he reminds you. “You’ll need your beauty sleep.”
You can’t help the sigh that escapes you, and his mouth twitches into a smirk.
“Were you hoping for more?”
“You know what I was hoping for,” you counter.
Johnny releases a shaky breath. “I want this to move slowly,” he admits. “There’s still some red tape we need to discuss before we… go further.”
“I guess you’re right,” you admit with another deep breath. “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
Johnny laughs. “No, I guess not.”
Seven:
You’ve never felt tension like this before. Johnny had been a gentleman and gave you a hug instead of a kiss after your date, and now, being in his studio for work, part of you wants to rip all his clothes off and fuck him in front of the entire team.
It’s like you’ve contracted lust fever.
How can he expect you to think clearly when he’s walking around all sexy and authoritative and smart? God, he truly is an absolute icon in his field, and it’s driving you insane.
It doesn’t help that he’s in dress pants and an oversized shirt, a gold ring on his finger, and a loose gold chain on his throat. His shoulders are as broad as ever, and his slicked-back black hair makes his cheekbones look even more regal and sharp.
The way his lips move when he talks is making your mind go numb, and you’re glad he’s focused on discussing lighting with someone else because you’re not sure you could speak a cohesive sentence right now.
Johnny’s eyes move to you, and your heart races as he approaches. “How are you doing?” he asks, gently reaching out to adjust the dress you have on. “Does this feel okay?”
“It feels great,” you manage to mutter.
The designer smirks. “You look a little stiff, honey.”
“I’m sure you can imagine why,” you whisper.
Johnny chuckles. “How about you stay after we finish up here? I had a few things I wanted to talk to you about.”
Your core throbs at the idea, and you’re quick to not. “Yes, sir.”
His grin widens, and he gently squeezes your wrist before going back to his duties. You watch him for a moment, then do your best to recollect yourself.
Eight:
When everyone begins to clear out of the studio, you slip away to grab coffee for you and Johnny. When you return a short while later, it’s just the designer sitting on his big couch, going over sketches and fabric samples.
“Hi,” you smile, sitting next to him.
“Hey, honey.” Johnny rests his hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“So… what did you want to talk to me about?” you ask, curious about where his head is at.
“Well,” Johnny lets out a deep sigh. “I have a friend who is also a designer, his name is Yuta, and he runs Nakamoto Fashion.”
“I know the brand,” you nod.
“He’s dated his fair share of models, some of whom have worked under him,” Johnny explains.
So Johnny was asking his friend about his opinion on the two of you being a couple… this could be a good sign.
“He told me that the best results he’s had were relationships with boundaries. It’s like a sugar daddy contract, and I don’t want to look at it that way, but that’s what it feels like.” Johnny lets out another breath, reaching for his bag to pull out a folder. “I worked a little something up, but there are a few primary details I wanted to make sure of with you.”
He hands you a piece of paper, and your eyes narrow in on the highlighted section.
“It will be agreed,” you read, “that no matter what happens during the course of the relationship, if things end badly, no career-altering contracts will be altered or made void. The personal relationship and the working relationship will remain separate in order to protect both parties in the case of a fallout of any kind.”
You take in the words, considering them carefully.
“So what it’s saying,” Johnny explains, “is no matter what, if things don’t end well between us, I won’t do anything to your contract, I won’t treat you badly or badmouth you or black list you, or do anything that would negatively affect your career.”
“And I would never try to hurt you either,” you admit.
“There’s also a line that Yuta told me not to add, but I wanted to add it for both of us,” Johnny says, carefully choosing his words as he flips to the second page of the document. “We haven’t gotten physical yet, but I know we both want to. And when we do, I figured this would be a good clause.”
“It is agreed that when entering into this contract, the relationship will be fully monogamous for the safety of both individuals,” you read, looking up at Johnny as the words finish.
“I just… I told you I’m not the dating type, and when I date, I want to give it a hundred percent. We’re in an industry where cheating is normal, but I don’t want that to be what happens with us. I know a contract feels like a big deal, and in some ways, it is, but I wanted to promise you that if we give this a try, you have all of me.”
He’s so sincere in the way he speaks, and you notice a hint of a blush rising on his pretty cheekbones. For such a powerful man, he’s awfully considerate of you, and that makes you like him even more.
“I’m not seeing anyone else,” you tell him softly, putting your hand on top of his. “And I don’t want to.”
Johnny lets out a shaky breath. “You don’t need to sign this right now,” he explains, gently taking the papers from you to set them on the coffee table. “But I think I needed to make these kinds of promises to you before we took things to the next level. I also kind of need to know about birth control or condoms-”
“I’m on birth control, and I promise I’m not using you to further my career,” you tell him. “I promise to fully commit. And I promise that if something does happen, I won’t allow it to affect our working relationship.”
Johnny smiles softly at you, reaching up to cup your cheek. His thumb brushes your skin, and you lean against his palm, closing your eyes and releasing a soft sigh of pleasure from the touch.
Everything about this moment feels right, and you can see how discussing these details has eased some of Johnny’s anxieties about this. It’s eased your own anxieties, too, and now you’re left with the soft, gushy feeling in your stomach that soon turns to butterflies as Johnny begins to lean in.
His lips press to yours, and tingles erupt through your body. You’ve never had to wait this long for a kiss from a man, but it was worth the patience.
Johnny is gentle with his movements, his hand still cupping your cheek tenderly. His mouth is soft, and your body aches for more, which he soon gives you by swiping his tongue along your bottom lip.
You groan, opening up for him, and the kiss deepens deliciously. Grabbing the front of his shirt, you pull him closer- but Johnny stops, breaking the kiss and resting his forehead against yours while he tries to catch his breath.
“We said we wouldn’t mix work with pleasure,” he chuckles after a second, “doing this in my studio is probably not the best idea.”
You laugh, swallowing thickly. “Maybe we should go back to your place.”
Johnny looks at you, and as always, it’s clear he’s carefully considering his options.
You see the moment he folds, and he nods. “Let’s go.”
Nine:
Johnny’s apartment is exactly what you’d expect. It’s in a brick building in the art sector of the city, with a loft-style open floor plan. The furniture is all interesting and well-picked, it’s somewhat eclectic with different fabrics and some pieces that are clearly vintage refurbished. One whole wall is old windows, and there are numerous plants, with ivy growing beautifully against the old, rusty red brick.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asks, tossing his keys into a bowl by the entryway.
“How about a tour?” you suggest.
He laughs, knowing where this will take you, but he concedes all the same.
You follow Johnny as he walks you through his apartment, explaining certain items he clearly deems valuable, like the black, gold, and cream, floral fabric armchair he had gotten from his grandma, or the coffee table he’d refurbished himself after buying it during a going-out-of-business sale at a vintage store downtown.
One of the large windows is cracked open, and there’s a storm brewing outside, filling the space with that pleasant rain smell and the sound of water on brick.
Finally, you make your way up the stairs to the loft. A king-sized bed is low to the ground, there’s a seating area, a walk-in closet, and an ensuite bathroom. More plants, specifically monstera, litter the corners, adding to the serene ambiance.
“Your home is perfect,” you breathe, walking to the railing so you can look down at the living room.
Johnny comes up behind you, hands finding either side of the rail as he presses his body to your back, enclosing you. “I’m glad you like it,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to your throat that makes your whole body tingle.
You turn in his arms, smiling up at the tall icon.
There’s nothing else for either of you to say, so instead, you press your lips to his.
You grab at his shoulders as his arms wrap around your body, tugging you closer.
Now that you’re in a safe, non-work designated space, neither of you has to hold back, and you pour all of your longing into the meeting of your lips.
It’s clear he’s been just as pent up as you have, and soon, he’s guiding you toward the bed.
You begin to tug on his shirt, and in no time, his torso is bare. God, he’s as perfect as you’d imagined he would be. He’s lean, but broad, and well-muscled in all the right ways. You tease your fingers over his abdomen, making him groan, and then he tugs on your own clothing.
You’re both half-naked when you get to the bed, and he leans down to pull your jeans and socks off, leaving you in your bra and panties as you fall onto the soft mattress with a giggle.
He gets on top of you, and you wrap your legs around him, grabbing at his broad shoulders and cupping the back of his neck.
His biceps bulge as he holds himself over you, and you revel in his beauty when he breaks the kiss to begin descending with his mouth. His tongue licks at the swell of your breasts, and you shift under him, unclasping your bra.
Johnny groans when you remove the fabric from your chest, and one of his large hands immediately massages your breast, his tongue teasing your nipple.
A whine escapes you from the stimulus, and you writhe against the soft duvet, throwing your head back and closing your eyes to enjoy the sensation.
Every lick and suck of his mouth on your pebbled nipples has you growing hornier, and you can feel your wet panties sticking to your hot core when he begins to descend again.
Johnny sinks onto the floor at the edge of the mattress, and you look up, appreciating the small tattoos that ink his skin near his collar bones. He gently grabs your calf, dragging you closer.
“You look good like this,” he tells you.
“Like what?” you tease.
“Relaxed, playful. You’ve been tense at the studio lately.”
“I wonder why,” you counter with a huff.
Johnny laughs as he begins to kiss up your leg, and his hands adjust on your thighs, pushing them up into a spread eagle type position.
“Have you been this wet all day?” Johnny grins, rubbing his thumb across your panties and teasing your clit through the fabric.
“Been this wet every time I’m near you,” you gasp, toes curling from the small stimulation.
“Guess I shouldn’t keep you waiting, then, should I?” the designer teases, cocking a brow before pulling your panties off with one good tug.
“Please-” you whimper, heart racing in your chest with anticipation.
Johnny closes the gap, licking the expanse of your slit and circling his tongue around your clit, making you shiver.
“Fuck,” you groan, throwing your head back and grabbing at the duvet to anchor yourself.
“I’m hardly touching you yet,” he chuckles, breath hot on your core.
“Feels good though,” you tell him.
Johnny shakes his head at you, and then he commits to his task.
His mouth finds your core, and he doesn’t hold back.
If there’s one thing you can say about this man, it’s that he’s not afraid to eat pussy.
His hands hold your thighs open as he devours you, switching from licking and tonguing your core to sucking on your clit. You can tell he’s listening to your sounds because he realizes quickly what you like best and sticks to that.
Your eyes roll back into your head, your muscles beginning to clench with pleasure as he works you up. Each lick and suck is like heaven, drawing you closer and closer to the edge.
“Just like that,” you whimper, writhing in his grip.
He groans a response, and the vibrations make you gasp, muscles twitching.
“I’m so close,” you cry out when he sucks harder on your sensitive bud, your body teetering on the edge.
Just as you’re about to cum, he adjusts, pushing two fingers into your wet core.
You jolt, your orgasm slamming into you with full force as his digits stroke your inner walls. You can feel your body contracting around him, and being stuffed with his fingers makes the feeling even more intense and pleasurable.
You’re throbbing for him, muscles contracting tight around the fingers that work you through your high while his mouth sucks on your aching clit.
You're not sure how long your intense orgasm lasts, but soon, you begin to come down from your high, and Johnny pulls away, licking his fingers clean.
“I’m going to guess no one has eaten you out in a while,” he chuckles, undoing his belt and pushing down his dress pants.
“It’s been a minute,” you confess. “But you’re also just good at it.”
Johnny shrugs, hooking his fingers in his briefs. “I’m a giver.”
“Can I give something in return?” you ask, sitting up and locking eyes with the massive cock that’s exposed as he removes his last article of clothing.
“It’s not an expectation-” Johnny begins, but you’re already getting onto your hands and knees at the edge of the bed, looking up at him and waiting for permission. “If you really want to-”
No sooner are the words past his lips than you grab the base of his cock and guide the tip to your mouth. He’s girthy and long, truly the biggest cock you’ve ever seen in person, and you’re drooling as you begin to suck on him.
“Fuck,” Johnny groans immediately, reaching down to cup the back of your head.
You take more of him into your mouth, closing your eyes and reveling in the small sounds of pleasure escaping him.
Nothing is sexier than a man who is open about his pleasure, and it makes you emboldened and wet as you diligently suck on his cock.
Your drool is dripping down to the base, so you begin to stroke him there, knowing you’ll never be able to fully fit him in your mouth.
“Keep doing that,” Johnny urges, and you look up to find he’s thrown his head back in ecstasy.
Your core throbs even more from the knowledge of how good you’re making him feel, and you hollow out your cheeks, ignoring the lewd sucking sounds as you sink even further on his cock. His tip hits the back of your throat, and you gag slightly around him, but you keep going, ignoring the sensation.
“Fuck,” Johnny groans, hips shuddering as if he’s fighting the urge to fuck your face. “Okay, fuck, you’re going to make me cum like this.”
He gently pulls back, and you lick your lips, swallowing the drool that had accumulated in your mouth. You look up at him, waiting for his next instruction.
Johnny seems torn on what he wants to do next, and he reaches out to wipe your spit-coated lips, pushing his thumb into your mouth. You suck on him, closing your eyes and groaning.
“Want to get on your hands and knees for me?” he asks.
You nod as he removes his thumb from your lips, and you turn around, arching your back so your cheek presses to the bed and your ass is high in the air.
Johnny is still standing at the foot of the bed, and his hands smooth over your skin. He massages your bum, making both of you groan.
He grabs the base of his cock, lining himself up with your wet hole. He rubs the tip there for a moment, getting himself coated in your wet before he gently pushes into you. You whimper at the stretch, grabbing the duvet and trying to stay relaxed as he sinks deeper.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he moans, squeezing your ass with one hand as inch after inch of his massive cock invades you, opening up your sensitive inner walls.
“Never been fucked by someone so big before,” you admit, gasping as he bottoms out.
“Let me know if it’s too much,” Johnny tells you, grabbing your hips with both hands to anchor himself as he begins to slowly rut into you.
“Feels good,” you whine, closing your eyes to enjoy every single stroke.
Your body is getting used to him already, and pleasure courses through you as he fucks you faster. Skin slaps on skin with each thrust, and you both begin to moan louder.
You adjust slightly, your fingers finding your clit. A shiver runs through you at the contact, and Johnny groans as your core tightens around him.
“I want you to cum again,” he admits. “You were so tight around my fingers the first time, I can’t imagine what it will feel like now.”
“Okay,” you whimper, rubbing your clit even harder, fighting the sensitivity as you eagerly commit to fulfilling his ask.
“Fuck,” Johnny groans even louder, fucking you deeper as you work on your clit, already achingly close to an orgasm.
God, he’s so big. You can’t even think as you eagerly rub your clit, toes curling, more moans slipping out of you with each second that passes.
His fingers dig against your hips, and the pressure makes you whimper louder.
“I’m close,” you cry out desperately, clenching your eyes shut.
Johnny’s pace increases, and it tips you over the edge.
Your pussy clamps down like a vice on Johnny’s cock, your whole body contracting with the intensity of the orgasm that surges through you like wildfire.
You gasp loudly, clit now too sensitive to touch as you grasp the duvet instead, anchoring yourself while waves of pleasure wash over you.
“Fuck,” Johnny mutters, fucking you through it while clearly fighting off his own orgasm.
When your body stops fluttering around him, Johnny pulls out of you abruptly, and you turn to whine at him, only for the designer to flip you onto your back. He gets on top of you quickly, and your legs wrap around his hips as his lips press against yours, his cock slipping back into you again.
You cling to his shoulders, holding onto him for dear life as he begins to fuck you again.
He’s panting, muscles quivering with effort, but the desperation in the way he’s kissing you takes your breath away.
Your chests are pressed together, and you can feel the racing of his heart. You gently pull at his hair, and he moans deeply, gripping the duvet as he fucks you harder.
“Can you cum for me?” you ask, knowing he’s fighting back the urge to make this last longer for you, knowing he desperately needs it.
Johnny breaks the kiss to bury his face against your throat, panting. “Fuck, you want me to cum inside you?” he asks.
“Please,” you whimper, locking your ankles behind him so he can’t pull out.
You’re on birth control, and you’re not about to let him fuck up the intensity of his own orgasm in the sake of being chivalrous.
Another low groan, then Johnny sits up. He gets onto his knees and grabs your hips, lifting your lower half off the bed so he can fuck into you while having complete control.
You look up at this beautiful man, taking in every aspect of his godlike looks. He’s truly a vision, his plump lower lip pulled between his teeth, his muscles bulging with effort, his tattoos practically sparkling under a thin sheen of sweat.
“Shit, I’m cumming,” Johnny announces, throwing his head back as he pushes all the way into your core, going as deep as anyone has ever gone inside of you as he explodes.
You can feel his cock throbbing, and he twitches as he moans in ecstasy, rutting haphazardly to ride out his high.
Then, he takes a breath, setting you back down on the bed and leaning over you again, his lips finding yours.
This kiss is soft and gentle, and you smile against his lips.
“What?” he laughs, pulling back enough to look down at you.
“Nothing, that was just kind of the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“Honestly? Me too.”
“Really?” you ask, a little shocked at that, given that he’s older than you and you’d assumed he had more experience.
“I don’t usually make girls suck me off-”
“You didn’t make me do anything,” you insist.
“Point being, most girls don’t even try.”
You laugh. “Because you’re huge.”
“I mean… You said it, not me,” he chuckles. “It was just… really, really good.”
You cuddle him back to your throat, stroking his shoulders as you both come down from intense highs.
“So when do I get to sign that contract?” you ask.
Johnny groans and then chuckles. “Good sex was all it took, huh?”
Now it’s your turn to laugh. “Great sex,” you correct him. “And no, I was ready to sign it at the studio, but you insisted I give it some time.”
“Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to regret anything.”
“I’d be stupid not to want to sign it,” you tell him. “Sure, being a model and dating my designer boss isn’t the greatest idea I’ve ever had, but if you take that part out of the equation, it leaves you. And you’re wonderful. You’re smart, and caring, and you treat me really well.”
Johnny pulls away from your throat to look down at you. “You deserve all of that.”
“I do. So in a minute, we’ll go shower or something, because we’re both a mess, and then, I’ll sign the contract, and we can officially start this relationship.”
Johnny grins, shaking his head at your eager attitude. “You’re my muse, but something tells me you might be the death of me, too.”
“Don’t be so pessimistic, John,” you tut. “We both know this is the start of something wonderful.”
His smile softens, and he presses a soft kiss to your lips. “You’re right about that.”
☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! Happy Holidays, everyone!
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🔮 preview. Your heart lurches. The use of the word ribbons makes this seem innocent; however, it’s anything but. Johnny has expressed an interest in shibari, the Japanese art of rope bondage. However, he’d insisted that rope would be too hard on your skin, so instead, he’d had custom ribbon made. And you join him in the kitchen as he unboxes the fabric.
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, shibari, Japanese rope bondage, power play, sex toys, vibrator, fingering, multiple reader orgasms, overstimulation, squirting, creampie, dirty talk, praise, explicit photo is taken to show the ropes, foreplay, manhandling, size kink, big dick johnny, bdsm subthemes, I petnames. (hers) honey.
👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 2.6k I teaser wc. 200
🌙 starring. Johnny x afab!Reader
bonus
Part of Johnny’s intelligence comes from the fact that he’s curious by nature. He’s always open to learning new things, and you’ve learned more information from dating him than you ever would have dreamed was possible.
Sure, Johnny has wealth and power, but he’s an intellectual first and foremost.
Your life has exploded in the best possible way. He’d even taken you to the Met Gala, where you’d done your best to be discreet, but the lingering looks at each other and the fact that he calls you his muse had made the whole thing kind of obvious.
So here you are, two years into your relationship, open, and in love, and always on the quest to try new things together.
“The ribbons finally arrived,” Johnny tells you, coming home to your now shared apartment with a box in his hands.
Your heart lurches. The use of the word ribbons makes this seem innocent; however, it’s anything but.
Johnny has expressed an interest in shibari, the Japanese art of rope bondage. However, he’d insisted that rope would be too hard on your skin, so instead, he’d had custom ribbon made. And you join him in the kitchen as he unboxes the fabric.
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ʚɞ 'busy woman' a 𝒏𝒄𝒕 𝒅𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 smau by @cosmicalily ★ view 𝓵𝓲𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓻𝔂 ʚɞ
୨ৎ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: texting dream 'she's busy rn' ♡ "yeah i'm a busy woman, i wouldn't let you come into my calendar any night." - '𝒃𝒖𝒔𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏' by sabrina carpenter
ʚɞ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: so some of you may notice there is no markus lee in this smau . . . that is bc a) i genuinely didn't know what to write for him and b) he's lowk in the naughty corner rn. buddy just hasn't been my fav lad recently . . . iykyk ALSO TYPO IN JAEMIN'S HE DIDN'T INVITE HIMSELF HE INVITED JENO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
ʚɞ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: prolly sex jokes, vape mention in hae's (are we surprised?)
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