Fiers Femme

be PROUD | be BOLD | don't be afraid to BLOOM

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CONNECTIONS

As I sat down thinking about everything I have gone through, everything I'm going through, and everything I will go through. I started to think about what it all means and why it happens. I feel like everything we experience as humans is connected to the last generation, It shows the mistakes and the growth of each generation, a cycle.

My mom wasn't raised by her mother, probably because of things my grandmother had to deal with in her life but that's just the way it was. somehow she managed to live all those years of not knowing if anything would go right ever in her life, It just was and she kept breathing, taking the lessons as they came and understanding the place in life where she was. Knowing not to complain and appreciate that she did have somewhere to stay.

I, on the other hand had my mother, no father, but an awesome mother who made sure to do everything in her capability to see me have a better life than the one she had or the one she experienced.

She worked hard everyday waking up in the hours some people just get home from parties to make sure she made my bottles and food ready for my day. I'm not to sure if she'd know it was going to be alright but she had to make sure I was alright.

Most single mothers don't have time to be down in the dumps they just keep going, guess it's a natural instinct. Rarely did she have any help but I know for a fact God was always with her every step of the way.

Now on to myself, as a grown up, but still in every sense lost and not found, I don't feel ashamed because even though my situation looks bleak from those who think they know,  I feel this amazing ball of greatness filling my heart up. It's as though if I burst there would be glitter everywhere, it feels like sunshine inside. I equate that with God telling me everything's going to work out.

In this generation, in my family I am going to do my best to change the tide, because even though I had my mom and not my dad, in a way it became better for me. My mom gave me affection, the one on one time I needed and took an interest in everything I did & the things I still do. When it's my turn I will be an even greater mother because of her. I want to be able to give my mom the world and show her how appreciated she is and I want to be the one to show her that your beginnings don't have to dictate the rest of your life. Our lives have not been the greatest but we can't let the eyes of others and what they think define us. We are Gods children and he has a reason and a plan for us all.

Sometimes I do let my circumstance take over my ability to see my potential, but I no longer want a life of pain, I want everlasting happiness and a life free of negativity. I want people who genuinely care about how my mother and I are doing. I want to be great so that I improve the cycle for my children. I want them to see me being happy and my energy to read the same thing to them.

As I sit here on my couch and try to make the right words fall on this digital paper a quote comes to mind "beginnings are sometimes endings but endings are sometimes new beginnings"  and for me this just means sometimes a new life has to fall apart for a new life to come out of it. I am hopeful that one day I can look back at this entry of my life and say " yes Shamika, you were right"  sometimes it takes many years many generations to turn the mistakes of your family tree around, to stop the pain and treat each other with love, empathy and understanding so that everyone can grow. So that everyone can learn how to be better. How to be compassionate and how to deal with your fellow man. I by far am not perfect but I am working on being a better person from the inside out, so when I do acquire all that I know I will, I will understand the power of connections and generational love.  

Treat people right no matter what they may be  going through, because you never know when it could be your turn. We are all connected, it doesn't matter if you notice it or not. Until next time....

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DIY: My Daily Moisturizing Face & Body Mask

Hey Family, I wanted to bring yet another mask that takes little or no money to do because it is already in you pantry.This mask will help your face and body retain moisture. Keeping your skin deeply moisturized is the best thing to avoid early aging which includes wrinkles and everything we hate having on our face and bodies.

Honey is naturally antibacterial so it’s great for acne treatment and prevention. It aids in slowing down aging because it’s full of antioxidants. Honey is extremely Moisturizing and soothing, it helps create a glow. It is clarifying and it opens up pores making them easy to unclog.

I have many uses for honey. I make it a point to swallow a spoonful each day because it helps so much with your health, and it is my daily face wash just because it keeps all acne problems at bay. It’s strong enough to help with my eczema and it helps heal minor wounds. Honey has become my best friend.

Virgin Coconut Oil melts on the skin as soon as you apply it without leaving any kind of residue. It easily seeps into the skin, moisturizing deeply and throughly.

Coconut oil is a gentle, yet thorough cleanser. It softens the keratin caps and makes exfoliation much easier. It can reduce the risk of anti bacterial infections that worsen acne. This magic in a bottle can also aid in keeping your skin winkle free.

My favorite thing I love about Virgin Coconut Oil is it’s the perfect makeup remover. You can’t go wrong with any of these natural ingredients because they are super affordable and easy to locate.

As with anything else many of us can’t use the same things on our face and bodies. Allergies can come from a variety of things, and that also includes natural things from mother Earth. All honey even being natural is not the same because there are different types of bees. I was successful with the particular honey I am using now. However, prior to using this one I had trouble with another so just be aware of your body and what it is telling you.

We all try to keep our skin looking young for as long as possible, and yeah the wrinkles and things may still come but we will stall the process as long as we can. Here is everything you need to achieve this easy DIY mask. Enjoy it.😊

Things Needed:

Raw Unfiltered Honey

Organic Virgin Coconut Oil

A Bowl

Plastic or wooden spoon

Face Cloth

STEPS TO GET BEAUTIFUL SKIN

Take 2tsp Virgin Coconut Oil

Take 1.5tsp Raw Unfiltered Honey

Mix both of these amazing natural ingredients together

Use your hands to apply this mixture to your face while doing circular motions

Leave it on for 10 -15 mins depending on your skin type

Before rinsing, take the face cloth and drench it in warm water. Squeeze it out and place on your face for 10 - 20 seconds . ( this will help lock in moisture)

Gently wipe off the excess and allow the face to dry without using a towel

Apply your daily moisturizer

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Choose You

As women there comes a time in life when we must figure out what we truly want out of life. What we are going to let come and take from us and what energies we let linger around us.  

 At a very early age I was aware of walking away when something might not be good for me but I didn’t always follow that rule. I think we are attracted to wanting what truly shouldn’t be for us in the first place. It’s like when your mom tells you that you can’t have something, suddenly it becomes so appealing.                I really wanted to talk about getting in touch with ourselves, because lately I see a lot of “Niggas ain’t shit” and while I have had many opportunities to feel like I wasn’t loved by my significant others; maybe not loved in my eyes but it might have been love to them, I really couldn’t blame anybody but myself. it wasn’t until I could see myself and understand what I wanted and deserved, would anybody positive and kind come into my life.

  As much as we don’t like to admit it we attract the energy that is radiating from within, energy does not lie. It doesn’t have to be with a lover, it could be with anybody and anything.

I would love for our young people to evolve and understand that not everybody has to be in your life. People come for seasons at a time, and I’m not saying this meaning you should get rid of everyone. I’m saying keep those around that uplift and encourage you, and you know for a fact they will support you in whatever it is you want to do. Just remember that whatever you want out of somebody, you too must do this.

Take time to look at yourself and ask who am I? I did, and God  answered. He is still telling me to this day, and unlike before I’m listening now. He told me I am strong and to let some people go, and I might be alone for a while but until I take that step I wouldn’t move along to what he truly has for me. I’ve fought hard to keep relationships that he kept showing me wasn’t needed but guess who won.

Ladies don’t worry about a guy who is not doing what you want him to do for you. What might look like somebody who doesn’t care for you can be somebody who has troubles of his own. Stories are deeper than what’s on the surface. This “no good nigga” could probably have had troubles of his own growing up. We all have a past, he might not be the one God has for you. He might be a “no shit guy” because he saw things he didn’t need to see at an early age or his heart was broken earlier in life. Maybe he was taught to be this way from what he idolized as a young man but you sticking around is not hurting him its only hurting you.

God will keep showing you signs to let go, but it’s still up to you if you are going to want more for your life or if you’re going to stay where you are, because he has so much more in store for you.

I remember being in love for the first time, thinking I could conquer the world and really putting my 1000% in the relationship. It didn’t matter what anybody thought, it didn’t even matter to me that he wasn’t giving as much as I was giving to him. It didn’t matter that he might have another girl, because I was taught from outside influences that men do what men do, and so I was becoming content with the relationship we had. If I wanted this person and I wanted them to love me, these were the cards that I had to deal with. I choose to stay in that relationship, that was my decision, at any time I could have left, but I didn’t.

My background is one of being around women, strong women. Many of whom were not married, my mom raised me on her own.

I never really knew my father, I met him once when I was five and It wasn’t because he couldn’t see me. He choose not to see me I guess. I’m still figuring that out.

In my head, I’d tell myself I’m never going to get married, maybe have a kid or two but I didn’t see a man as somebody that needed to stick in my life, as somebody I needed to protect me. I choose to see them as disposable, not needed.

I after many years, had to stop and ask myself why I thought I didn’t deserve better, here I was in a bullshit relationship, gaining nothing from it.  

When it ended, it was hard for me even though sometimes I’d lay next to him and didn’t like what I saw. I choose to focus on me because I didn’t want to be in a position of emptiness, when I eventually had children.

Meditation, writing, Yoga and some self-love truly helped & I woke up one day not yearning for this person who probably didn’t even understand himself. I wrote a letter to God about what I wanted and needed from my next guy and I focused mainly on me. I started to believe he had a plan for me.

I really felt the need to write this letter to my fellow queens to let you guys know that not everyone or everything is meant to be in our lives, many things we experience are but a life lesson. Something we can learn from. So, don’t worry about that “no good nigga” he did what he was supposed to do in your life and you probably taught him a lesson that he had to learn as well.

Give your heart to God, trust and believe in him. Give him thanks and praise and he will bring you all the things he desired to give you from the very start, because now you understand and you have gained the wisdom that he wanted you to learn before he gave you the gift he placed in you from the start. Now you can handle anything because of those tricky situations. We all have a story, there is no need to let anyone take away from your power. Black queen clear your energy and attract what you are, a beautiful creation made by the almighty God. Until next time…..

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DREAMS Dreams are a series of thoughts, images, sensations occurring in a persons mind during sleep or relaxation. It is also something people try to attain in life, something they can't let go until they make it a reality. I remember when I was a little girl, I had two big dreams. My very first dream was to be a doctor, I wanted to be able to hold the babies and play with them, but once I found out what it entailed to become a doctor, I let go of that dream real quick. The next big thing on my list was to become a model, how I was going to get there I had no idea but I knew that's where I belonged. Every other day somebody would stop my mom and tell her to get me into modeling. She has the face for it they would say. My mom did her best to get me into modeling, not knowing to much about the business & even though the random strangers on the street seemed to give support not everyone was in favor of her putting me in these gigs. I ended up doing a little modeling here and there but eventually I figured that wasn't going to work for me either and not because I couldn't do it. I didn't understand the tenacity that you had to have to go after what you wanted. I started to think if I didn't know the right people I'd never get into that world and I was back to square one. The feeling deep in my subconscious never left me, I knew that eventually I would have to piece it together & own my own business. The next big thing, the closest thing to modeling involved working in fashion; retail. It was always hard for me to land a job, I'd have to go through the ringer and back just to get a yes, you're hired. I feel like I've always been tested. Aldo the shoe store was my first job. I thought it was so cool. I'd sell shoes & get a paycheck. The best part my discount on shoes anytime I wanted to buy. What more could I want right? Eventually, the feeling of needing more came wondering on me, the feeling of me not belonging there, wherever I was. Over the years , you name it I've done it, from shoes, clothes and everything in between. Now that I look back I'm grateful for all the experience and the bumps along the way because I've learned so much. After a while I stopped listening to that voice and just figured that was the way life was going to go. You work a job and live. March 2007 I got a wake up call when my cousin was shot and taken out of my life so suddenly. It really opened up my eyes as to what life was all about. My manger at the time gave me a month off because his death really had me in a lost space. I started to ask myself what is your life about? What does it mean? Are you ever really going to accomplish anything? I couldn't sit back and be safe anymore. I didn't know when it would happen but my fire was ignited again. Fast forward many years & I was working for the retail store H&M. It was a pretty cool gig if you weren't hassled everyday by your own spirit telling you that's not where you belonged. When my time came to an end it was sad but it was also a happy moment for me. I didn't know it then, but that would be the boost I needed to really start focusing and doing my own thing. I started drawing, reading and writing again. A door was opened to everything creative that was standing still in me for so many years, along the way I felt I had lost a parts of me however, it was never lost. God always knows whats best and he knows when it should resurface. Everything around me was not perfect by no means but that was truly the beginning of me finding all my passions again. Among many other things I've found that my love for modeling is back. This time I decided I was going to do it on my own terms and I will make it happen. The fire that was lit in me in those months have never been extinguished and I know now better than any other time that my life is going to be one of advancement and happiness once I connect all the dots. Never give up on yourself, nobody will push you and believe in your own path like you. Keep going even when others make you feel like it's unattainable and fight hard to make those dreams come true. Remember your dreams are what you make them out to be. You were born with your dreams being a part of you. Do the work hard to make it happen. There's been plenty of bumps in the road for me and I know there's going to be more to come. Life is very hard, however, if you know how to cruise the harsh waves you should be ok. I plan to cruise the harsh waves and I suggest you do too. Until next time........

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BELIEVE IN YOUR POWER When? When to take that leap of faith? When to take that big jump? When to make it about me? Don't sit and ponder and wonder why things aren't moving the way you want them to. You have to make the necessary movements for your life to go in the direction you want it to. God has already ordained blessings upon your life, he already knows your story. You just have to bring it to fruition. I'm not waiting anymore for someone to give me what I feel like I deserve, I am going to create my own lane, a place where I'm happy and I can give back to others freely without feeling the obligation of punching somebody's clock or being talked down to. You have to believe in your own power. You were born a king/queen, never forget. Many times when I feel down, I use my lowest point in my life as motivation, seeing my mothers face happy and glowing is motivation for me, being able to provide is motivation for me, feeling balanced and right with God is motivation for me.  What truly matter is, are you comfortable when you look in that mirror? Are you happy with what you see because when you're all alone you have to be content with the life you're living and who you are allowing in your life, who you allow to alter your thoughts, who you let treat you a certain way. You determine your destiny. I've had ups & downs in my life, recently most of my downs have been really pivotal moments for me. I call them landmarks because these are the moments in my adult life that I never want to repeat. I know that everything in life truly happens for a reason, lessons that I have to learn, so I study my low moments, I really analyze them.  After every dark moment there is light, greatness and change. Don't forget to invest in you, keep going when life gets hard or it looks bleak because God does have more in store for you. God is a part of you so never neglect yourself, keep pushing. Keep striving for the best, be the caterpillar that went through the tough times to become a butterfly. Until next time......

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DIY MY DEEP PORE BLACKHEAD BUSTING FACE MASK Hey guys, I wanted to bring to you a new mask that has really been helping me to control my blackheads and two toned skin. It's been a lifesaver really and I wanted to share it with you all. I'm one of those people that definitely like to make my own mask from scratch. I hope you really enjoy it too.🤗 Things Needed: * Activated charcoal mask * Baking Soda * Aztec Healing Clay * Water * A bowl * Plastic or wooden spoon * Makeup brush 1. Take 1tsp Activated Charcoal 2. Take 1tsp Baking Soda 3. Take 1tsp Bentonite Clay 4. Add it to the bowl of choice 5. Now take 1.5tsp of water & add it to the mixture. 6. Mix until it's a great consistency 7. Apply it to your face & leave it on for 15 min or until it is completely dry. Once dry, rinse and pat your face dry. You should feel refreshed and renewed. Apply some moisturizer & enjoy your day.

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LOVE YOURSELF FIRST

This very statement means so much to me “Love yourself first” to love yourself is to know yourself and in knowing yourself trusting and understanding that you are never really alone. God is love so to know oneself and love oneself is to see that you are capable in all things through Christ. I’m a firm believer that in life sometimes we don’t feel deserving of the love and respect that we will give to others just because we don’t take the time to look within. I remember my relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I remember diving in head first after breaking up with my first boyfriend who left me confused, bewildered & damaged. All at the same time losing a close cousin/brother/friend, my beloved Ainsley to senseless gun violence. I believe the reason I dove head first is because I was confused at how Ainsley & I’s relationship had fizzled along the way, our relationship was not as strong as it was when we were kids but, still I saw him as my protector. Coming to grips that I would never have to chance to sit with him physically and reprimand our relationship was hard and hurtful for me. It didn’t matter that he was my cousin he fought for me as his sister. I did not take the time to grieve losing such a big part of me and I never dealt with the pain this first relationship left me feeling as a young women. The next relationship was a whirl wind & there were many times where signs(intuition) would show how he went about treating me was wrong but I choose to fight for a relationship instead of myself. In doing that I realize that my sprit was affected and infected, whoever I was before no longer existed. It was to the point where I couldn’t even remember who I was before. I had now taking on a role of somebody new. A person that didn’t care to cover up all the pain, hurt and to justify the destructive behavior that I deemed ok at the moment. God has a way of showing us that our way is not the best way, he has a way of showing us that our behavior is not approved and what is not meant for us will be removed whether we want it gone or not. With Gods every pull, I tugged away I wasn’t ready to feel his love to feel like I deserved to search for me because I knew that the toughest road was in front of me. My relationship that I was holding onto for dear life was on a lifeline. The love I dispensed in him, I had to fight to get reciprocated back. Each time I played myself I got hurt more and more. The day I let go is the day I started to grow, to find my light in the darkness. I finally sat down and looked at myself, I asked myself who are you? From that moment on I’ve been on a mission to Loving Myself and all that is me entirely, so that I can be much more for somebody else but more importantly me. I took the time to mourn my cousin/brother/friend Ainsley, I took the time to mourn my pain and frustration. I took the time to grow, learn, appreciate. I’m not 100% perfect but I can truly say I love myself and I know with certainty that I’m never alone for God is always with me. Keep going when times are tough and the hardest battles come your way. Look into your heart and when you are ready, you can also look around and notice that where you are started with your journey of loving oneself but also because there is always somebody who is setting you up for greatness. Somebody guiding you along the way. Trust in god and he will never steer you wrong. Until next time……

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LIFE LESSONS

Life is to short, we hold things in that we don’t need to, and we take abuse from people that we don’t need too. If you come to a crossroads where you feel like you just don’t belong there anymore, don’t ignore the feelings sometimes it’s your spiritual being trying to tell you something. All lessons you needed to learn were already learned there. Take a step of faith and jump. I don’t let anyone make me feel bad for being on my journey, if anything I am my biggest critic. I hold myself to a high standard because at the end of the day when you look in that mirror you want to be happy with who you see and what you have to give to the world and yourself.  I believe that from the time we are born we have a purpose here on earth, one that was given to us since before we we born. This is earth and we have been given the opportunity to explore, enjoy and find ourselves and although it can be a tough road we have to look at everything as lessons. Always think what can I learn from this situation? God will never forsake you and when that relationship, that job, your boss, or just life in general is super sucky look to him because he will pull you through. He is always with you because you are a part of him.  All the heartache and pain I have been through, when I’m crying in my bathroom or tears of joy I call on him and he pulls me all the way through. You’re never alone. Keep going & open your eyes to everything around you. One day the world might not feel so scary and you’ll notice all the beauty it has to offer and all the beauty you can give to the world as well. Trust in God, Until next time………..

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PATHS TO YOUR LIFE MISSION Do you believe that there is a place in society for us all? Do you believe that the creator sent each of us here with a mission to complete? I truly believe that from the time we come through our life givers we are already destined for something that is all our own, and that my friends is where the path begins. The path to your life that will take you to that destiny. In my short lifetime I have learned many a life lesson and one big one I have learned is that every step I decided to take had a reaction. I remember high school like it was yesterday, I wasn't the most popular. however, I wouldn't consider myself a loser either. I attended Canarsie High School in Brooklyn, NY. My senior year was shitty, I was just told by my guidance counselor that I would not walk with my class because I had to make up math classes for some credits, right there and then I already made the decision that I was just gonna go ahead and get my GED, all because I didn't want to be seen by anybody and have them know I messed up. Pride will mess you up every time. I went ahead and did it, passed and then told my mom who was very irate with my decision. The many years that followed I went to college with no clear vision on what I wanted to do with my life, not knowing that half the kids around me were going through the same things that I was. We all just continued to play the game and hope that along the way we'd figure it out. Every decision you make in life has a reaction, I like to call it a shift in direction on your path. Right now where I sit, I wouldn't say I would do anything different because now at 32 years of age I am learning so much about myself all because of the things I've went through. I truly believe that Christ already had his plans for my life, he knew the twists, turns, hurdles and all the pain that I have gone through and will continue to go through to make me a stronger me. The same goes for you. I know that the mission he sent me here to create is not going to be completed until all my tests are passed and I have become who I am supposed to be to handle all things coming my way. Do not be afraid of hurt, loneliness, and just being yourself. Do not be afraid to tell your story because what I have been learning is that the very thing we don't like in someone is something you yourself are dealing with or would love to creat for yourself. We are all sisters and brothers and if we share just a little more it can help a whole new generation that is coming up behind us. If I knew then what I knew now, my potential, my ability, my brainpower, my path would have taken on a whole new direction. However, everything that has been done, that has be said, that will be done is in place for a reason. Keep fighting for your place to help this world become better. One person can make a difference. He sent you here with something so dig deep and follow your heart, I know I will. Take the time out to sit with yourself sometimes and figure out what is important to you as an individual. Make a list of the person you want to be & push yourself to become that person. DIG DEEP & don't give up, doors will close, people will leave but remember your truth will set you free. Your mission will become reality. Until next time .....

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Dropping Wednesday February 15th My Valentine's look. I wanted my eyes to look like a sunset😊. Don't miss out Subscribe TODAY!!! YouTube.com/c/FiersFemme

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INTRODUCTION TO WHO I AM

As I lay here in my bed at 32, I start to wonder about my life and the many decisions along the way that I have made as a woman. Am I proud of who I’ve become? Do I love myself? Is the self I show to the world the woman I see when I look in the mirror? Well, I do love myself and when I look in the mirror I don’t wish that there are things I could change on the outside but I truly just yearn to make all the magic I feel on the inside come out to play. One of my many aspirations is to write and start a blog that will be not just an uplifting journal for me to look back at but a place where all women can come and feel like they also can relate to my struggles, growing up trying to figure life out as a black woman in a crazy, crazy world. I felt the need to connect with women who are also going through some sort of struggle, pain or hardship and learn how they climbed over those mountains. I feel that sometimes we often judge each other from the outside rather than asking a simple question “are you ok?, Can I be of assistance?, Is there something on your mind?” Instead we walk around letting our pride get the best of us and continue to play the game that is set up for us, to fail as women. We are stronger in numbers and the many women I have come across, no matter the difference in faces. We are all facing something that having a sister by your side can really be a saving grace. One who will not judge but listen, guide and share their testimony and wisdom. I intend to lift, encourage and inspire with my blog. I promise to always give my honest opinion and be 100% authentically me.

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‪✔️out my 3 minute BRAND NEW VIDEO showing you how I keep my skin looking Young & Youthful‬

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I try to keep my daily skin regimen as simple and clean as possible, here are some key techniques that I use to keep my skin hydrated and healthy while not breaking the bank.

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COME EXPERIENCE LIFE WITH ME ➡️FIERS FEMME😊❤️🖥SUBSCRIBE TODAY❗️YouTube.com/c/FiersFemme

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Happy New Year ❤😍

Another year is here & I'm going to bring it in with a bang. This year some of the things i want to accomplish are already in play. My prayer is that they just keep going well. I pray for positivity and to close the doors of negativity. My wish is that my journey continue to grow. Have a great new year everyone, wishing you absolute blessings.

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FIERS FEMME? What does it mean you ask? it’s actually PROUD WOMAN in French. ——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

My name is Shamika and this is my journey to loving myself from the inside out. I feel like many times as women we forget to take time for ourselves, not just for the glitz & glamour but just to heal Mentally / Spiritually.   I decided I wanted to start something for me & while i’m doing it inspire a generation of women who I can also learn from. I have a variety of interests & can’t wait to share them with you.

Stay Tuned…….. BE PROUD BE BOLD DON’T BE AFRAID TO BLOOM INVEST IN YOU

- Fiers Femme (Women Make The World Go Round)

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Over the course of my journey on my 31 years on this earth I have learned many things. My main purpose in the life is for me to learn to create that wonderful, beautiful relationship with the part of me that is the gift from God,➡️ My Soul. I strive every day to be a better me and to learn from every situation whether it be good or bad. I am learning to enjoy everything that is around me. Life is tough, the days go so fast and before you know it it’s another year. I want to leave this world knowing I had an amazing life and I made a difference. Love yourself first, it makes all the difference.