FIGHTING WORDS
run-run-rabbit-run:
Sometimes a kiss just doesn’t say what a fist would. For those special muses who like to prove something, here are about fifty sentence starters pulled from literature, music, films, and my own head as well as general conversation. Enjoy!
“You’d better pick up that knife, son, because you’re gonna need all the help you can get.”
“Who do you think you are??”
“I’m all about turning the other cheek, but you just slapped the wrong person.”
“Killing you would be a charitable act.”
“Let’s take this outside.”
“I’d give you a head start, but why prolong your suffering?”
“This has been a long time coming.”
“You mistook kindness for weakness.”
“I’ve never hit a lady before—wait, I still haven’t!”
“I’ve taken it upon myself to shut you up.”
“Shut your whore mouth.”
“Come on then—show me what you’ve got!”
“This isn’t gonna hurt me more than it hurts you.”
“Is that all you’ve got?”
“Start something, punk!”
“I fucking dare you.”
“This isn’t a fight—this is surgery.”
“Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”
“By the time we’re done here, your mother won’t know you.”
“Ladies don’t start fights—but they can finish them!”
“I’ve never wanted to punch someone in the face this badly in my life.”
“You disgust me.”
“I’m not calling you a liar, I’m saying every word you utter offends human decency.”
“Someone needs to put you down.”
“I’m not going to feel guilty about this in the morning.”
“You’re a real big man when it comes to kids and women, aren’t you? So come on, hit me.”
“Defend yourself!”
“Are you calling me a coward?”
“It’s time to settle an old score.”
“You’d look so much cuter with blood coming out of your mouth.”
“I’m pretty sure that after this, we’re going to end up fucking—but I’m too mad to pass up hitting you right now.”
“Okay, then hit me.”
“I don’t want to fight you, but by God, I will.”
“I’m not letting you hurt anyone else—you want to hurt someone, it’ll have to be me.”
“This is nothing personal, so go down easy.”
“Wow, what graveyard did they dig you up from?”
“You’re starting to piss me off.”
“You’re not getting paid enough to make the beating I’m about to give you worth it.”
“Get out of my way, or so help me I’ll go through you!”
“I guess I have to teach you manners, since your mother didn’t bother.”
“Weapons? I don’t need weapons to deal with the likes of you.”
“I’m sorry, were you still talking? All I hear is ‘hit me.’”
“There’s no need for violence.”
“I’m going to put you in the hospital.”
“Your new ride is gonna be an ambulance.”
“I think the odds are slightly in your favour at hand fighting.”
“We don’t have to do this.”
“Just walk away and make it easy on yourself.”
“My grandmother hits harder than you, and she’s been dead for twenty years!”
“Come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough.”
