I find myself sad & crying for a country I’ve only been to twice in my life for short amounts of time, 2 weeks the first, 3 weeks the second. I’m yearning to learn more about my family and culture and the history of the country where my blood comes from. It’s become difficult for me to gain any knowledge about anything due to family members being displaced in their own country, family members being killed from war and gang violence and migration to another country. I’ve been lucky to find my own niche within the Central American community through social media and have been learning so much more than I could have. With learning comes feelings of happiness, sadness and anger and together they pull on to this imaginary string I have attached to El Salvador; maybe it’s my ancestors trying to reach out because it’s been feeling so much stronger recently. Thinking about El Salvador always brings a mix between feeling distraught and bliss. The constant thought of ‘What would it have been like to have been born in El Salvador instead of the United States?’ The U.S where I don’t feel like I fit in but in reality I wouldn’t really fit in as my current self in El Salvador either and if I had been born there, would I be who I am now? In the end it’s just a bad case of “Ni de aqui, ni de alla” (neither from here, nor from there) but I hope to gain more knowledge about El Salvador and my roots to my satisfaction and a proper visit once it’s safe to travel.
tangentwithtanner
blakekathryn
titsay
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