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chronically ill, borderline freak, I'm gonna whine 7 days a week, polyam bisexual chic Late 30s and this blog is for adults

[ss-writess]

“Being loved is pleasant. Being understood is extraordinary.”

[smolmoss]

2 all the way up to 10 people hugging/cuddling !!

[thecrumbez]

Happy Pride Month to those two women dancing together in the foreground of the boat scene in Godzilla (1954).

I’m sorry your romantic foibles were overshadowed by a big ass atomic lizard thing.

[erratic-dragon-fruit]

out of the tags with you

[teathattast]

[thealogie]

whatever happens it’s so important that we’re funny about it. Above all else commit to the bit

[femmeprince]

I feel like we, as a community, have finally gotten away from the constantly having to reassure everyone that bisexual people are capable of monogamy and I am glad because boy was that alienating.

I just really love being bisexual and polyamorous. Some of my favorite things to be. Some of the things that feel most intrinsic to my being.

[quotefeeling]

“I think the best partner you can have is someone who makes you want to be the best form of yourself.”

— Jennifer Lopez

[lets-freak-it-bbg]

Id like to destroy this stupid idea that polyamorous people shouldnt be jealous of their partners paying attention to their other partners, especially when said person feels neglected or has been trying to reach out more.

Jealousy is a natural emotion. Do not tell me I cant be jealous just because im poly. I can want attention and love and be jealous when others get it more than I do.

[sugar-and-spite]

so i was like "i haven't been annoying enough about being polyamorous yet this pride month, let me reblog some poly posts and fix that"

...except all the poly tags are totally flooded with random ship bullshit. the only posts from real poly people i could find were ones from years ago that i've already seen

so i guess i really haven't been annoying enough about it! here's your regular dose of it then: poly people exist! in real life! we're here and we're queer! we deserve community! polyamory isn't just a thing for ships! we're real!!!

[remanence-of-love]

[badger-angel]

always interesting whenever people start talking about polyamory as particularly unstable or prone to jealousy bc it begs the question of if they’ve ever seen or heard of monogamous couples

[badger-angel]

are you aware that those people are having sincere earnest discussions on whether following someone on social media counts as cheating

[clevernamepending]

I have fallen into the people seeking advice reddit sub forum ecosystem and there is this phenomena that baffles and sometimes scares me that's an offshoot of this. Talking to people of the opposite sex? Disrespectful. Having a friend of the opposite sex? Red flag. Hanging out with a group of co-workers after work, some of whom are women? Disrespectful. Hugging an old friend who happens to be a different gender? Giving a different gendered co-worker a ride home? They watched porn and masturbated?! Did they not even THINK about how their partner would feel?

This type of Disrespect is treated as nearly as bad as cheating, a sign they are cheating, pre-cheating, or micro-cheating (Gonna be honest I do NOT know wtf micro-cheating and pre-cheating are). "If he's talking to literally any other women for any reason it's just because he wants to smash" "If she's giving her instagram to other dudes while in a relationship she's not committed" A genuine expectation to pull back/cut off relationships with folks who are a different gender once you're in a romantic relationship. Sometimes demands to pull back from other relationships who are "bad influences" because they do things like talk to people regardless of gender, watch porn, or offer any sort of resistance to the idea that it's weird to be expected to cut folks out of your life based on their gender. Comments like "Sorry, what's the issue here? That they hugged an old friend? Have they given you other reasons to be distrustful? Have you talked about your expectations of physical touch and exclusivity within a relationship? They might have a different Normal and if this is bothering you it seems worth comparing what you're both assuming those lines are" you get down voted and told that EVERYONE knows that it's wrong and if they don't then there's something wrong with them. I'm not sure if I'm watching weird aliens or if I am the weird alien in these scenarios anymore.

[adiabat]

i’m not aromantic but i believe in their beliefs

[adiabat]

for me being bi has contributed a huge amount to noticing all the ways in which romance and friendship run together and i think in general people would benefit from recognizing that romance and friendship are socially constructed categories used to describe a vast, nebulous, and often overlapping range of feelings

[asteroidtroglodyte]

My way of parsing it:

Every Relationship is actually a specific, unique thing. We invented Shorthands, such as Friend or Husband, to help describe recurring motifs in Relationships. But. The labels are simplifications. They will always fail to adequately contain the entirety of the Relationship.

[polyamorousmood]

not to be polyamorous, but yeah

[mentally-retired]

polyamphobia and aphobia is a lot in the same because a lot of it is conservative beliefs of relationships and how thet should work, and scared we break those norms

[nowhere-4ever]

is it too much to want a polycule to go on a summer road trip with?

we all fit in one van and rotate who’s driving. The driver gets to pick the music. We stop at gas stations and swarm the place, grabbing snacks and baffling the other people when we take turns holding hands. We go on every side quest, stop at every place someone wants to stop at. We camp out almost every night. We set up the tents and the stove and the fire. Heating up soup while we have s’mores and tell spooky stories and conspiracy theories. We play out skits and scenes from our favorite fics. We sing and dance and laugh together. We all stay up late talking, snuggled against each other in our sleeping bags. We have no obligations to go or be anywhere. It’s all up to us. We got to museums and punk shows and farmers markets and bars and cafes and hiking trails and thrift stores. We’re free and in love and no one can tell us how we’re supposed to be

[this-is-poly-joy]

[aidashakur]

there's not a single casual bone in my body. everything means something to me

[persianmom-deactivated20251026]

don’t abandon joy because it is brief. don’t commit to solitude because happiness is fleeting. it’s okay that good things do not last forever. it’s okay to simply enjoy a thing for as long as you have it.

[nylarac]

^ relevant art by @catcrumb that legitimately rewired my brain

[theloneclarinetist]

after the recent discovery of polyamorous relationships I have a question for people out there:

is it selfish/discriminatory to not want your partner to be polyamorous?

[figs-and-cigs]

So when my, now husband, told me early on that he was Polyamorous I had two decisions to make:

1. Can I see myself dating someone who is poly and will be dating and building relationships with others? (Romantic and/or sexual.)

2. Can I see myself engaging in any form of ENM and having such relationships with others?

Polyamory is not for everyone! Being in a relationship where your partner has relationships with others comes with challenges not everyone is willing to experience. There is nothing wrong with that! It's ok! No one is required to remain in a relationship they do not want to. Period.

What is not ok is trying to control another person. Yes, even your partner. It would have been totally valid for me to say, "I don't want to be in a relationship with a Polyamorous person." It would NOT be ok if I had said, "you are with me now, you have to stop being Poly and stop seeing other people."

(There was a time period where hubby and I remained monogamous while I did my research and a lot of internal work to make a fully informed decision on our relationship - but it is not reasonable to expect that every poly person is willing to do that. If a new partner asked that of me my answer would be no, I already have deep entanglements.)

It also would be absolutely unreasonable and hypocritical if my husband had said, "I'm Poly, but I don't want you to be Poly or be involved with anyone else." It doesn't work that way. I get to decide if I want to be Monogamous (and whether or not I'm comfortable being with a poly person) or if I want to be Poly.

If you are Poly and don't want your partner(s) connecting other people, then please do more research and internal work. In that case, yes, it is incredibly selfish. This is a relationship style that prioritizes freedom, autonomy, and consent - FOR EVERYONE.

You and your partner can define your own relationship agreements. Unless the agreement includes some form of monogamy, it is not ok to impose rules or agreements on 1 on 1 relationships you are not involved in.

It's also worth noting there are many many different forms of ethical non monogamy, not just Polyamory. What are you looking for explore? Emotional/romantic connections with others? Sexual/Play/Kink connections? With or without your partner? Are you wanting a heirarchial/primary relationship? Or is the intention to treat every relationship as equal? What kind of entanglements do you want in each relationship?

And, what does your partner say they want? Can you both be flexible, negotiate, and come to healthy and fair agreements that work for each of you within your relationship?

There are forms of Non-Monogamy that prioritizes emotional monogamy, but sexual non-monogamy. The only downside of those dynamics are that emotional connection is unpredictable and impossible to control. Agreements should include how that is handled and how flexible things are over time.