drink tea, make art

32 - she/her- digital artist/gamer from cologne, germany!

[filunara]

i follow and like with this blog, but i reblog a lot of stuff (fandom things, like AOT) with a secondary blog.

if you want to know the name of my secondary blog, message me and i‘ll tell you (if you are one of the blogs i reblog from).

[filunara]

I can‘t believe i haven’t shown you all but i got another tattoo in december

Done by janemiller.ink (instagram)

[anxietyproblem]

[filunara]

The Fallen Elf

Digital art, painted in Procreate on iPad with the Maxpack Oil Brushes

[filunara]

look what i was up to yesterday!

a few weeks ago i stumbled across an instagram ad for an artists that does absolutely stunning black & red work. the ad said she would be guesting in my city this week and when i saw her work i just KNEW that she would be perfect for the jjk tattoo idea that had been brewing in my head. and she actually had a fish tattoo in her wanna do list that instantly loved. i contacted her on a whim and she actually replied and was interested in my idea … and now here i am.

i love it. i love it so, so much.

(the artist is https://instagram.com/alex_blackink, photo was taken by her)

[theperksofbeingahugefuckingcunt]

adhd is so embarrassing ur basically like “I have to have fun right the fuck now or I’m throwing myself off the roof” 90% of the time and you also have very little control over this

[onemillionwordsofcrap]

This was the single most important thing for me to start understanding re: my undiagnosed ADHD, and it's the thing no one tells you except other ADHD sufferers. My brain's reward system is so broken that boredom rapidly becomes indistinguishable from a depressive episode. There's no healthy, normal ability to experience something as simply being a little dull--as soon as my brain isn't getting regular hits of stimulation, I start clawing at the walls. This is what makes working in a structured environment and initiating tasks so difficult for me, not malice or other character flaws.

[finnglas]

What makes it worse is that, if you're like me, when you were growing up, the only way your authority figures knew how to perceive this was "they're just goofing off," and therefore, would deprive you of anything remotely stimulating until you'd done your work, thinking that -- if it worked like it would with an NT kid, you'd do your work faster so you could get back to having fun.

Instead, they just pulled the plug on any tiny bit of power you had running to your necessary brainwaves and put you into longterm shutdown mode.

But then....you grew up...with only that method for coping ingrained into you. So no matter how much you may know logically, now, that you have to have the "fun/interesting/challenging" cord plugged in for your brain to have any juice at all, you feel guilty for having to plug that in FIRST instead of as a reward for doing Adulting. So you just sit there, unplugged, not getting anything done.

Or maybe that's just me.

[hummingirls]

even the most supportive and well meaning people in my life struggle to understand how painful lack of stimulation is, how immobilizing executive dysfunction is, and how i cannot feel satisfaction the way they do. the number of times i’ve been told “won’t it feel so nice to accomplish it and have it off your plate?” and having to explain that i don’t feel relief or pride when i finish a task, just exhaustion, and that’s part of why it’s so hard to even start it

[anxietyproblem]

[blue-lollipops-and-ice-clouds]

(Source - likethatsugar)

Context:

[luckydiorxoxo]

Barbenheimer poster art by @SteveReevesArt

[filunara]

i have seen Oppenheimer today but i do not have the endurance for Barbie on the same day, so maybe tomorrow? i would have loved to have the full Barbenheimer experience tho

[theoldbone]

Part 2 of the UV reactives

Chkalovite, Tugtupite, Kvanefjeld, Greenland, photo by Daniel Montero

Ussingite, Sodalite, Leucophanite, Tugtupite, Tunulliarfik Fjord, Greenland, photo by Daniel Montero

Calcite, Fluorite, Willemnite, Aragonite, Purple Passion Mine, USA, photo by Daniel Montero

Calcite, Potosi Mine, Mexico, photo by Rob Lavinsky

Quartz, Opal, Montana Aserrada, Spain, photo by Volker Betz

Calcite, Fluorite, Pure Potential Mine, USA, Photo by Christopher Clemens

Petroleum, Quartz, Pakistan, photo by Harald K Andersen

Rabbittite, Barbora Adit, Czech Republic, photo by Charles D Young

Gypsum, Shelford Sand Pit, UK, photo by Kaegen Lau

Petrified Wood, CA, USA, photo by Nicholas Rondilone

Plumbogummite, Pyromorphite, Yangshuo Mine, China, photo by Christopher Clemens

[alexcabotgf]

[filunara]

i follow and like with this blog, but i reblog a lot of stuff (fandom things, like AOT) with a secondary blog.

if you want to know the name of my secondary blog, message me and i‘ll tell you (if you are one of the blogs i reblog from).

[filunara]

you know what i just might get some new piercings after getting my snakebites redone literally two weeks ago

the dopamine rush from that is wearing off already

[filunara]

i think it‘ll be a birthday treat

like, i need to go there anyway to get the snakebites shortened. it will save me a trip

i am just thinking economically

[filunara]

you know what i just might get some new piercings after getting my snakebites redone literally two weeks ago

the dopamine rush from that is wearing off already

[drblogg-deactivated20250209]

your honour, tbh, ngl, idgaf

[kiwinatorwaffles]

having adhd and being a creator is like being on a timer. oh sorry you have this art idea? well you have approximately 12 hours to start it and 6 hours to finish the task or else you will lose interest and inevitably move on. oh you have an idea for a one-shot? well you’d better finish it in a day unless you want to banish it to your wips forever. ding dong bitch

[filunara]

don‘t call me out like that

[filunara]

Monday was an ethereal experience.

Sleep Token live is even better than expected.