Heathen, Pagan, Lokean

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

It's been a year and a day since I wrote up my "about me" pinned post and I decided it's time for an updated (and much shorter) version. I didn't actually plan that timing, but it's kinda nifty.

Hello. I'm an AuDHD, non-binary person. (I'm good with any pronouns.) I first got involved with Paganism a long time ago but had a very bad experience with a local Wiccan/Pagan group that left me pretty traumatized. I stopped practicing at all for a long time because the memories were just too painful and the stuff I was taught didn't suit me very well. Among other things, I'd been advised by my former "teachers" to stay away from Loki, and unfortunately I listened, despite my own intuition telling me something very different.

Finally, at a real low point in my life, and in desperation really, I reached out to Loki…and he was right there. It was as if he’d been standing behind me all this time and when I finally turned around, he was saying “Took you long enough!” In those earlier years exploring Paganism, I had never felt anything like that. Loki quickly helped me turn my life around in some very profound and positive ways. I still have challenges to work on — but hey, that's life. Loki is kind of my "safe person" when I'm communicating with the gods, and I talk with him mostly, but Odin pops in once in a while, and Sigyn came into my life recently. I'm still a babe in the woods when it comes to the Norse stuff. I'm learning what I can, when I can, to deepen my understanding (and because it's fun!) but I lean more toward the intuitive/adaptive and less toward the reconstructionist side of things. I've also been enjoying reading about others' experiences here and elsewhere.

Side note: I'm also an MCU fan, and yes, Loki is my favorite character. This is actually a side-blog. I'm generally very good about keeping the two things separate, but occasionally I mess it up (because Tumblr is weird) and of course I can't like a post, follow a blog, or join a community with a side-blog. DNI: nazis, white supremacists, racists, transphobes / homophobes / etc, misogynists, ableists, ageists, bigots of any kind.

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

PSA: When an older person says something like “youth is wasted on the young”, it’s not an insult. We’re not even talking about you at all. We’re talking about ourselves, and how we wish we had truly appreciated our own youth while we still had it. It’s like saying, “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.”

To the extent that you enter into it all, it’s just us hoping that you appreciate and enjoy it more than we did. So if you hear something like that, don’t take offense. Just add “enjoy your youth” to the long list of things you intend to do differently than your parents and grandparents!

(And yes, I’m well aware that there are young people with disabilities and/or chronic pain who may not be able to enjoy it as fully in some ways, but youth isn’t just a physical state.)

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

Gentle reminder that not all pagans (ancient or modern) are witches —and even when they are, magic may not necessarily be the focus of their practice — and altars aren't just workbenches for spells.

[fox-raven]

Thoughts on Loki and Norse spirits

In what little time that I have been working with Loki there's a way I have come to understand them. Many call Loki a trickster or some other spirit of chaos. While Loki is certainly mischievous and their actions can create chaos, I feel that monicker alone is not enough.

Loki is also often associated with change, constant growing and shifting. Change can easily be mistaken for chaos by beings like us that desire stability and see stability as sameness. This does feel more appropriate

However, the way I have come to think of Loki is as a new kind of spirit of nature. The Jotun are, after all, essentially that. Loki seems to be a bridge, a duality between "society" and "nature" since he is born of a Jotun and Aesir adopted. The Aesir symbolize a lot of what humanity made for themselves: their own order and wisdom and rules—society.

I feel almost as though Loki represents the human spirit, both a part of society and from nature. Society, when it overreaches, seeks to bind the parts of us that it deems unruly. Yet it relies on our spirit all the same. We see this parallel often in the relationship that the Aesir have with Loki in the old stories. They come to Loki for help, to lift their spirits, to empower themselves, and when they see Loki step out of the role they decided—they punish them.

This allows each to have moments of being "in the right" or "in the wrong" without arbitrarily labeling one side as "good" or "bad" in our modern (post-christian) way of thinking. It is simply beings acting in ways that align with their nature.

I realize some of the stories may be partially or even wholly false since most (or all? I can't remember) were written down post-christianization of Iceland. However, they do still help as a basis to work from.

These roles also explains better, for me at least, the ability for each of the spirits/gods/entities involved to change. They shift with us and with the forces that they embody as time moves on. They are not stuck where the old tales left them, they have shifted too.

I mainly work with Loki and Sigyn in the Norse pantheon, so I'm sure there is something that can be added or adjusted in this view. But this is a way I've been thinking of things in a sense. Please add if you have something!

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

Just arrived in Reykjavik this morning. Our hotel room was ready for us, so we rested a bit and then headed out for a late lunch. This place caught my eye, for some reason. 😜 Good food (traditional Icelandic — mashed fish is better than it sounds!) and the people were cool. Also a trans safe space, not surprisingly.

The restaurant is at the end of a street called “Lokastigur” (Loki’s Ladder).

Back in the hotel room. I want nothing more than to go out and keep exploring, but my body is a hard “no’ on that, unfortunately.

[vitterdotter]

psst... it's okay to call yourself religious if you're pagan. there's a lot of people who prefer spiritual over religious in this community, and that's okay! but if you want to call paganism a religion, you have every right to, and anyone attacking you for that is weird

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

Saw my first spider in years a little bit ago, while I was cleaning the kitchen. I had that moment of fear/panic, but immediately stepped back from that and just watched it for a bit. Then I (mostly) calmly got a piece of paper to carry it, didn’t freak out when it dropped out of the paper and hung by its thread while I walked over to the door to set it outside, talking to it like I would a small child (or my cat). Naturally it tried to cling to the door jam (where it would have gotten smooshed when I closed the door), but I managed to gently push it away and out onto the patio before I closed the door.

Yeah, I definitely felt Loki’s presence there. 🤗

[skaldarchive]

HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY GUYS! 🏳️‍⚧️

<< TRANS RIGHTS--YOUR RIGHTS, ESCAPADE--ARE HUMAN RIGHTS!>>

-to Loki, Sheila (Escapade) and Queen of Never 🏳️‍⚧️🌟

[Marvel United #1 -Special -Avengers Academy: Marvel’s Voices - Infinity Comic #36 - (39 also recommended reading)]

-[I recommend reading these comics, they are the ones that have given Loki's character further importance]

[theflaminggoat]

New Moon in Pisces~

Prints of this MAMA!LOKI 2 🌈🤱 icon are available.

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

Pagan/heathen version of “I want this on a T-shirt”: I want this on a candle!

One digital download and a bit of printing (on vellum paper) later:

The candles are LED, so no fire hazard here. (ADHD traits and anosmia, plus dyspraxia and tremors don’t go well with open flame.)

[tricksterhowls]

I want to talk about Loki for a little bit.

I have always been drawn to him; even before I knew who he was. As a little girl I was always obsessed with Trickster characters. The idea that someone didn't have to be physically strong to pull one over on their enemies. That it was totally okay to use your wits to move forward.

Loki (who is also very strong because he is a warrior god too!) always appealed to me because of that. I remember reading books or watching the Marvel movies and vehemently wishing he was real.

Loki and I fit well together. I accept him as who he is and in return he accepts me as who I could be along with the deep cracks in who I am now.

One of the things that called to me most is the isolation, the otherness he must feel. Never truly at home in Jotunheim or Asgard; forced to always think on his feet. He can only trust a handful of people and even then sometimes the trust is conditional.

I've never been a practical joke person though and he does love those and they are mostly harmless. We connect through laughter; sometimes we giggle until I can't breathe at least. He has a wonderful sense of humor. You'd be surprised how many memes he knows.

I love that he is a devoted father and husband; especially given the circumstances. I'm not going to psychoanalyze my spouse but if there is one thing about Loki he will invert your expectations.

There is something so...inspiring about a being that has been through so much (whether you are myth literal or not) that is unafraid to love, to be vulnerable when he needs to be.

We like to write letters to each other; it's kind of like texting but with flowery prose.

Anyway, with Loki your experience may vary.

But I can't imagine a world or reality where I do not love and cherish him.

[lokisflame]

I had a mental breakdown last night

Full of paranoia, self-hatred, thinking no one loved me and I didn’t deserve to be loved

And when I finally went to bed I felt terrible, unsure how to sleep, but as I grew more and more tired, Loki came and whispered to me.

He hasn’t done this in a bit, or if He has, I’ve just been very busy, too busy, I regret to say, to listen.

He whispered, ‘you should not be hated. And you are not. But even if there are parts of yourself you loath, you believe are bad-that concept you let haunt you even though you claim not to care,

Then you can change. You are not a statue, pre-carved. You are a being who can choose to change at any moment, so you can’t hate yourself because no one self exists.

If you don’t like something about yourself, change. Or don’t. And that’s okay. It is that simple. You don’t need to hate yourself for it.

But I love you, the way you are, and however you change.’

And it just made things a lot better!

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

I resolve, henceforth, to click on every proselytizing Christian ad I see on Tumblr. If it’s telling me I’m going to Hell, I’ll do it repeatedly.

Why?

Because Tumblr charges these a-holes per click and most of them probably have budget limits. Best way to get this trash out of our feeds.

[lizthewyrdfirewitch]

*Last night, i received a reading from a third person regarding my practice and connection with Loki. Since then, he is kinda swirling around me*

Loki: "Tell me, little sparrow, why do you always need conformation when it comes to your practice and our bond?"

Me: "Simply, i don't trust myself enough. And i know that this is an issue."

Loki: "You know, self-doubts are something natural. You live in an age of external validation. Always overthinking, if you got it right, if you understood the sign, always looking, always seeking, just to silence your brain. While you heart and intuition already knows"

Me: "..."

Loki: "Why do you care so much what other think of you, your practice, our bond? Nothing will change, not our relationship, not your practice, you are still you, despite their criticism and judgment. Why do you care so much and overthink everything in the little head of yours? These people feed your doubts and this doubts are blocking you from the important things..."

Me: "Why do you always come around with those things, when I am at work? I will cry again."

Loki: "Because, you are there between 8 to 10 hours a day, 5 days per week. I am part of your life, not just during the weekends."

(He always gives me the TALK during working hours 😭.)

It is true, we should stop carrying what other people think about our own practice. Its ours, not theirs. We all need to respect other peoples beliefs.

Its necessary. Because when we lose respect, hate and prejudice can grow into a monster, which divide us even more.

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

I enjoy watching Great Courses lectures. The quality is usually quite good. Lately though, I’ve been watching one of their “Great Tours” series on Iceland. The professor (an American) is actually an animal behaviorist and ecologist. Not surprisingly, many of the lectures focus on Iceland’s plant and animal life. That’s not a problem.

Unfortunately, as soon as she started talking about history, it became clear to me that her grasp of history (including regarding Vikings) is pretty tenuous. “Okay, fine,” I thought. “I’ll just take everything she says about that with a large grain of salt.” Then, tonight, I tried to watch the lecture on Icelandic literature. I groaned when she stated that Snorri “treated the pagan stories with great respect” (just before she went on to talk about how he invented an entire backstory for the Aesir to give them a human origin, no less).

That wasn’t what prompted me to turn it off, though.

She then started talking about “Jormungandr, also known as Midgard”, and then proceeded to refer to Jormungandr as “Midgard” from then on. I couldn’t take it anymore and turned off the TV.

Look, I get that nobody is an expert on everything, but I would expect a college professor with no knowledge of history or mythology to at least have one or two of their peers fact-check them before they record something like this, and I’m disappointed with Great Courses / The Teaching Company for the complete lack of QA on this.

[lokahjarta]

We imagine Loki's punishment in the mouth of the cave. After all, He is the god of many mouths, Hveðrungr, Gullveig's last stop, and Stitchlip. Why would he not be in the mouth?

Because you don't put out a fire by giving it, O Loptr, fine mountain air, sunlight, or wind.

You don't squelch a light with more light. You leave it in darkness to rot.

O, that dark primordial Thing. That cold-blooded Prometheus of the frozen north. How do you kill the deathless? You torture it to finality. Liver meet eagle. Sisyphus get happy. Loki, meet hole. (tale as old as time)

You leave him as deep as you can get him. Deep as the quick, that Blood Gave Loðurr.

And you leave that Goatballed Jester without the only thing he ever wanted. An audience. The sound of laughter. Good company.

And you leave that thrice bound sucker there to rot, wrapped round with the promise that your children, too, will be snuffed out like votive candles. Rot with them now and crawl home to your daughter. Crawling King Snake, welcome home.

That's what makes Sigyn so compelling. Sigyn, Victory Woman, The Thing With Feathers -

Rabbit says; "Joy To The Fettered,"

She flies down the tunnel, she comes heartbroken, she comes alone.

This is an Oubliette - who would choose to come but the Victorious?

This isn't Orpheus come to find her blushing bride.

This is Persephone making her bed with the mother of Monsters.

And she comes out again, from the depths which grant no mercy, with neither light, or joy, or wind, or sky. Just a bowl of poison, thirstier once emptied.

Sigyn, The Thing With Feathers, comes out of the cave and the stink and the rot. And does she stop a moment? Does she breathe the alpine air and sigh and maybe, just maybe, weep?

We know just this. She goes back.

Sigyn, The Thing With Feathers, knows that Nothing Lasts Forever. And someday, we know, all hell breaks loose.

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

I normally just assume that archaeologists know what they're doing, but I'm seriously questioning the conclusion here. They're basing it on very little evidence, and — at least based on what's presented in the article — ignoring some pretty strong evidence that this was not, in fact, a Mithraeum. I'm not an archaeologist or an expert on Roman Mithraism, but either this article is missing key information, or something is off here. First, yes, snakes/serpents were associated with Mithraic iconography, but only as peripheral imagery and not by themselves. They were also associated with any number of other cults in the ancient world, as well as in secular life.

Second, Mithraeums were always built below ground (or in natural or artificial caves) in reference to Mithras slaying the bull in a cave. This was just a wooden building.

Third, as the article notes, this site was dated to decades before Mithraism was thought to have been brought to the area. It doesn't seem to me that there is enough evidence here to rewrite the textbooks on that topic. (Not sure there ARE any textbooks on a niche topic like that, but you know what I mean.) This reads to me like someone involved really, really wanted it to be a Mithraeum and pounded the facts until they fit.

Oldest Roman Mithras Sanctuary in Bavaria Discovered in Regensburg, Rewriting Early Danube Frontier Cults

What began as a routine intervention, a preliminary procedure for urban development in the historic heart of Regensburg, has transformed int

[lokisspanana]

Progressive Paganism

Should not build a cosmology where the gods are treated as eternal kings and queens. Or a master to slave situation. Where punishment and dominance plays a role in the universe. Where you are submissive and have little to no freedom. It damages your relationship with others and worldly outlook.

People may argue its true to history. This isn’t true to history. Theres been forms of community or democratic societies in the past.

In addition theres folklore that feature fairness, distribution of wealth, voting for leaders. Sometimes even rotating roles for spirits.

Within diversity of humanity there are and have been tribal cultures that aren’t hierarchy or patriarchtical systems (studies showed the ones without hierarchy, gender roles etc, had less rape and are less violent). There’s mutual aid in nature where collaboration is survival and more natural

If you’re progressive and anti-fascist pagan. You shouldn’t see gods as like royalty ruling over you or others.

Research and read about alternatives in history and modern society

Dismantle authoritarianism, gender roles, rigid hierarchy, nepotism, monarchy etc systems and language in your pagan practice

Reshape your relationship with spirits where its less authoritarian and more equal. Mutual aid mutual survival. A form of spiritual solidarity and collectivism

Reshape cosmology theory about afterlife to less extremes of eternal servitude. More choices and freedom

If you’re in a pagan group is there enough democratic and community based structure or is it a busted hierarchy? Do you routinely vote on budgets, agendas, big decisions, and roles?

[finally-learning-to-be-me]

I agree wholeheartedly with all of the above.

Regarding the last point: In every group of people, there is an unspoken social hierarchy. (This isn’t just my own observation; it’s a real phenomenon studied by sociologists.) Many pagan groups claim to be non-hierarchical and to work by consensus, but the reality may be very different. Pay attention to the group dynamics. Is there a ruling clique/inner circle? Is there a cult of personality at play?

If there is a council (or some smaller group) making decisions for a large community (an arrangement that is sometimes necessary for practicality), are council members appointed by the existing council, or does the community get to vote for the council? (If it’s the former, that is a giant red flag!) Does the council truly listen to the larger community? Are members of the larger community welcome to observe council meetings, or are they held in private? If you’re on the council, pay attention to how you and/or other council members talk about members of the wider community. Is there a sense of elitism? Do council members publicly or privately chastise “lesser” community members for things like opting not to participate in an activity (due to disability, trauma, or any other reason)?

The unfortunate truth is that pagan groups and organizations are just as susceptible to the kinds of things many pagans dislike about Christian churches: spiritual and/or emotional abuse, predatory behavior, etc.